How to Transform your Career with Purpose

For some people their, career, is closely interwoven with their, life purpose. Keshia Morris, is that person, Political Activist and Project Manager with Common Cause.

In this interview on the Transform your Mind radio hour and podcast, Life Coach and Mom Myrna Morris Young, trace the story of, Keshia Morris, as an undocumented alien, to her starting her career as a Psychologist, to getting a tug from God to transform her, career with purpose, to help with our democracy.

Listen to full interview here:

Introduction to a Career with Purpose

Keshia Morris is  the project manager for the, Census 2020, with Common Cause and is getting a lot of media attention because of the Trump's administration efforts to add the question “Are you a Citizen” to the, Census 2020.

Keshia Morris, talks about the importance of the Census, the reason the Trump administration was trying to add this question and, Common Cause, fight for a fair democracy.

The media attention started when, Keshia Morris,   wrote an amazing article that was published in the Miami Herald that highlighted her, career, with purpose.  In this article she talked about our personal journey to becoming permanent residents in the United States and why the question on the Census asking “Are you a Citizen?” would have a negative affect on our democracy.

After that article was published, several podcasts and radio personalities wanted to interview her.

Before we could get to what God has done in Keshia’s life as far as her chosen, career, with purpose.  She chose me to be her mother. I knew from the moment she was conceived that she was born to do great things. She was conceived on my honeymoon and was born 9 months later on my 30th birthday. So even without being conscious I knew that she was born with a, life purpose.

Again without being yet conscious; but understanding the principle of generational increase,  I started my journey to becoming an American Citizen.  I believed that there were more opportunities for my children here in the USA.

Both my children are Canadian,  and maybe my  assumption was incorrect, but our perceptions become our reality.

Keshia Morris,  went through high school as an, undocumented alien. The beauty of this country is that children didn't require papers to go to public school until higher education. Without a vision, I could have sent her back to Canada to go to college; but that was not even a consideration. I paid out of state fees for  her first 2 years of college. I could only afford one class; but she was in College.

I got married again in 2006 and my husband sponsored both of us, and we became  permanent residents or documented immigrants.

Keshia received her BA  and started out on her intended career as a  Psychologist.

How Keshia's Became On Purpose, career coaching

One day while listening to the audio book “A long walk to Freedom,” by Nelson Mandela, she had what is called a Damascus experience. Everything that was before was no more. So this is where I want to pick up the story.

Setting Goals and purpose for your career?

I want to start off by saying that you tell my story so much better than I do. Just laying out for our listeners how I got to the moment where I decided I wanted to do something new with my career.  I had always thought that I that I was going to be a psychologist.  As a child people kept telling me that oh you know you're great at giving people advice, so I thought  I might as well make a career out of this and try to achieve the American dream.

Psychologists make a lot of money.  I started getting into listening to audio books in my car and as I listening to Nelson Mandela’s  “A long walk to freedom”  I would say in the very first few chapters of the book,  I feel like it changed me and changed my trajectory of my life almost immediately.  It was also the time of the sequester where the government was shut down.  I interpreted this as wealthy special interests groups were getting in the way of  government and our lawmakers not being able to do their jobs.   I didn't feel like this was right,  so I felt an extreme tug to try to do something about it.

I had already invested over 4 years as a Psychology major and started with my masters degree credits which were not inexpensive.  I had already amassed about $30,000 in student loans before  listening to Nelson Mandela's book.  I felt an immense tug from God that becoming a political activist was my, career purpose, I wanted to help change the democracy the United States of America.

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How to look for signs that your, career, is on  Purpose

Question #2: How did you know that this was God. What were the signs?

I knew it was God because it changed the trajectory of my life in seconds.  I was now a new woman and had a firm grasp on what my, career, should be.

Things lined up for you. I was a new Life Coach at the time and you requested a coaching session. I remember it,  like it was yesterday. Because what I said out loud was not what I was thinking. I told you to go for it. To make a plan and pursue this goal.

  • You applied to schools and got into your number 1 choice, American University,
  • Before graduation you got an internship at your number 1 choice for employment, Common Cause,
  • You received a job offer with, Common Cause, immediately after graduation. So we know that you were on, career purpose, because God opened doors.

Why family support and career coaching is so important to your career

Question # 3: What advice would you give our listeners who face obstacles. No family support, not accepted to schools, kids at home etc.

I would tell them to believe in the vision that you can have it all.  Believe in yourself, believe in God and believe in their, career purpose,

Keshia Morris, you are getting National attention now as the Project Manager for  the 2020 Census at Common Cause. The Trump administration has been very unfriendly towards immigrants and, undocumented aliens, and intended to use the question “Are you a Citizen?” on the, Census 2020, to instill fear to the non-Citizens,  so as to set up, Gerrymandering.  Common Cause fought for this question to be removed from the Census and won.

Question # 4 Please explain the importance of having this question removed from the, Census 2020, and what exactly the Census does for our democracy.

Gerrymandering is  manipulating districts to give one party advantage over the other.  We have definitely seen a lot of gerrymandering being done by Republicans;  but we do absolutely know that Democrats do it as well.

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What is the Census 2020?

The Constitution mandates that a Census or accounts of all people that live within these United States be counted for apportionment purposes every ten years.  So every ten years the Census Bureau takes counts of everyone that lives here.  That is including illegal aliens, that is including children and newborns.  Everyone should get counted.

What this count does for our democracy is it apportioned the amount of seats in Congress.

There are 435 seats and the House of Representatives and those 435 seats are distributed based on population size.  Right now about each congressional district has about 700,000 people.

In a State like Florida, for example that has a population of maybe six to nine million people, but say only eight million people were counted in the, 2020 census, that means that Florida would get less congressional representation than it actually truly deserves because one million people were not counted.

The Trump administration wanted to add this last minute question “Are you a Citizen”  to the, Census 2020, I say last minute because usually each question is tested and vetted thoroughly for about three years before a question can be added to the census. It has to go through Congress and an approval processes.  The Trump administration came in and decided they were not gonna do any of that, and just announced that they were going to add this question to the,  Census 2020,

Census Bureau researchers have found that if this question were to be added to the,  Census 2020, about 6.5 million people would not answer the census form and thus insure a fair census.  So advocates like, Common Cause, but really across the board, millions of people stood up and said that this is wrong.  Common Cause, took the case all the way to the Supreme Court and the Supreme Court sided with us.  They said that the Trump administration cannot add this question to the, Census 2020, they called the reason the Trump administration gave to add this question, contrived.

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Myrna: I heard you say in one of your interviews that the data that comes from the, Census 2020, is confidential and  it's illegal for anybody to use this information for harm to the people. I know you said that if this question was on the, Census 2020, 6.5 million people would not have answered because they might be afraid that someone will come to their door.  But what you said is that information is never presented in such a way that somebody can know who filled out the form, and if they were going to actually use information from the data, they will use the information as a collective.

I am curious as to why research shows that 6.5 million people WOULD NOT  have responded to the, Census 2020, if the question “Are you a Citizen” was on the form?

Keshia Morris: My answer to that question is twofold.

The law states that your responses on the census cannot be used to cause harm to any person.   That means that it can't be sent to ICE to enforce immigration law.  It can't even be sent to your landlord if you have too many people living in in your household.  However, what the Trump administration wanted to do, was to create fear.  That information isn't always communicated correctly and even if it was, people don't trust that the Trump administration would follow the law.

So it's better just not to have the question on the, Census 2020, whatsoever.

The Trump administration has given up on their efforts to add the question “Are you a Citizen” on Census 2020, but they are now trying another way to get this information. President Trump has now issued an executive order to get administrative data to be collected for the purpose of redistricting.  Common Cause, is fighting for this not to be the case, and it  absolutely will be challenged through litigation.

Facts about the, Census 2020,

Section 2 of the Constitution requires a count every 10 years of every person residing in the United States—citizens and non-citizens, newborns and seniors, documented and undocumented, homeowners, renters, and the homeless. The, 2020 Census, will be in full swing during the Winter, Spring and Summer of 2020.

Counting hundreds of millions of people is an immense undertaking, and it’s critical for state legislators to start preparing now. Census data determine the allocation of more than $800 billion in annual federal funding and are often used in state and local policy-making, decision- making, and research. An inaccurate census in 2020 would jeopardize state funds for over 300 federal programs and compromise crucial supports for marginalized communities. 

Census data are also used for the reapportionment and redistricting processes and therefore vital to advancing a fair and representative democracy. Ensuring that all residents in your state are counted will require funding, coordination, and commitment from policymakers but will provide your constituents the resources and representation they deserve.

Research shows that if the question “Are you a Citizen” was on the, Census 2020, 6.5 million people would not fill in the Census thereby states would be unrepresented by millions in congress.

Myrna: From listening to all your numerous interviews I will list them. I have learned that the Census data is confidential and it is illegal for anyone to use that data to target aliens.

Unrig the System Podcast with Alex Wardlaw

Podcast Episode for Bipartisan Solutions for Ending the Prison-Industrial Complex Once and For All

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The Real New Network

Myrna: I have had a front row seat to your growth from a Psychology major into a political activist. I have watched you take the mike and rally a crowd. I have listened you spout very technical data about the history of our democracy with names and dates of legal documents.  As your mother, I am impressed by your transformation.

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-lifted-by-your-purpose/

How to Master career strengths

Question # 6: Take us through how you released your fear of public speaking. What did you do to get yourself from this abstract fear of speaking and communicating to what you do now?

I am still working on being an effective communicator and working past my fear.  My fear has lessened a bit,  there was a time where I mean I couldn't get in front of people and I couldn't say two words without my voice shaking, without saying um a hundred times, without looking completely lost. So yeah  I definitely think that I have I've experienced some growth and really all I can say, well the main thing I can say that got me around the corner is practice.

There's that Malcolm Gladwell books that says you need like 10,000 hours of practicing something to be an Expert.  You just named a bunch of the interviews that I've done; but you know each of those interviews requests, I started off by saying NO.  because the fear is still there.  But I able to overcome the fear by resting in the fact that this is for a, life purpose, and  I am working towards the goal of having this democracy be the best that it can be.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

How to Transform your, Career, with  purpose

As we wrap up our show today, I want to leave you with these thoughts.

There is a difference between living an active life and a, purpose driven life. We all lead active lives. To be active does not mean we even have to physically do anything. We could be mentally active and be making plans and, setting goals,  etc. but not going anywhere. But when we are living a, purpose driven life, our energy and activities has a, life purpose, and meaning. Pause to reflect the purpose of your chosen, career. What is the meaning of your, career, purpose.  What is the quality of the energy you are expending. When you have a, career,  of purpose, the more energy you expend, the more renewed you are. On the other hand, when you are not on, life purpose, the energy you expend is not renewed, instead you end your day depleted and diminished.

A, purpose driven life, and, purpose driven career, alters the course of history.  I hope you all find yours.

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iHeart Radio

Keshia Morris, one final question What do you want your contribution to be to God’s Kingdom?

To make this country's democracy the best it can be, that is my, career purpose,

How can any of our listeners get in contact with common cause to support the organization, volunteer for the census or reach you for speaking engagements or interviews?

Listeners and readers can reach me at

Keshia Morris
Census & Mass Incarceration Project Manager
Common Cause
805 Fifteenth St, NW, Suite 800
Washington, DC 20005
(o) 202.736.5774 |

 Additional Resources for, Career Purpose, and Census 2020

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-lifted-by-your-purpose/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-a-diamond-by-finding-your-purpose/

http://blog.myhelps.us/program-positive-change/

Today’s Ruling on the Census Citizenship Question Still Leaves Room for Worry

 

Ep. 116 – The Census: All the Facts & Why It is Important

 

 

 

 

The Role of Probiotics in Gut Health and Brain Health

Tina Anderson, Founder of Just Thrive stops by the show to talk about the role of probiotics in gut health and brain health. Probiotics is like the gardener, its job is to keep the good plants (good bacteria) and get rid of the weeds (bad bacteria). Just Thrive probiotics does this better than any other products on the market because our probiotics arrive alive in the intestine.

The difference with Just Thrive probiotics is that they have this endospore shell around them and that's why we call them spore-based probiotics. This gives them the ability to get through that stomach acid, that gastric system alive.  It is not until they hit the intestines, that the endospore shell comes off and that is when they go into their live vegetative cell state to promote gut and brain health.

Our product Just Calm  is helping communication between the gut and the brain and helping those external stressors that we're faced with by lowering our cortisol levels.

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Bio

Tina Anderson’s journey into the world of health had a unique start and some unusual turns. She began her career as a trial lawyer who specialized in settling cases by bringing both sides together, a personal passion of hers. Once her second child arrived, Tina left that high-stress job behind so she could focus on her family.

Luckily, she was still able to use her considerable legal skills to point her career in a new direction as the in-house counsel for a family pharmaceutical company. But what Tina saw there made her change direction again. Frustrated by the many abuses in the pharmaceutical industry,

Tina turned toward the field of natural health, and found her life’s work. She channeled her energy into learning all she could about disease prevention and good health maintenance. That led her to discover the importance of gut health and how connected and crucial it is for overall health and wellness. To share her discovery with the world, Tina along with her husband created a unique supplement that contains the superior probiotic strains of renowned researcher Dr. Simon Cutting. By promoting gut health and probiotics, Tina shares her passion for wellness, helping others live their best physical and emotional lives.

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How Just Thrive got started

Tina:  I had a very interesting journey. I was I started out in litigation but I wasn't fulfilled in my career. And so, I decided to leave that behind and go into a family pharmaceutical business and had a much better work life balance with my kids. I was able to walk them to school and have more time for prayer, meditation, all of those things. My husband started this company together, we were able to license, probiotic strains, from London University, Dr. Simon a cutting edge world renowned probiotic expert.

And we were able to go into a field that was so impactful, and it was actually impacting health and society and it was really exciting. We knew when you took care of your gut, that everything else starts to fall into place. There was so much research coming out of the Human Microbiome Project was launched by the National Institutes of Health told us more about the gut than we ever knew before, and really told us that the gut is responsible for virtually every aspect of our overall health.

It's hard to find any disease claim that's not associated with some imbalance in our gut health. Very few probiotics on the market, were doing what they needed to do, they were not making that journey to the intestines alive so, we decided to go ahead and launch this product to fill the gap in the market.

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What is the Gut Microbiome

Myrna: Can we step back a little bit and talk about the gut, microbiome, and the blood brain barrier. I know that there are certain things that pass through your gut and cause a whole bunch of disease.  What are, probiotics, and how do they help us in the gut?

Tina: It’s great to start with the fundamentals. Our, microbiome, is the totality of organisms that make up the gut. So, we've got, bacteria, viruses, fungi, you know, parasites, all these different things like make up our the totality of our microbiome. So, all of these microorganisms most of which are bacteria, we are 10 times more bacteria than we are human. We think bacteria is bad, but bacteria is so incredibly beneficial to us, so supportive of our health and our organs.

Less than 1% of bacteria is actually bad.  And so, when we just realized that we have to support our microbiome, in our gut and not kill it off. Constipation, diarrhea, gas and bloating, these are all signs that you have some imbalance going on in your, gut microbiome. But what people are just starting to understand is that it also dictates your, brain health.

  • It dictates your mood, how you're feeling,
  • your sleep,
  • it's dictating your hormone health,
  • it's dictating autoimmune issues, your immune system 80% of our immune system is found in our gut.
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Transform Your Mind Amazon

Gut bacteria and leaky gut

Our, gut bacteria, sends signals to our immune cells and tells them okay, there's something going on, you need to start fighting this infection.  So, it's really important that we understand that our immune system would cease to function if we don't have the, gut microbiome, sending signals to our, immune cells.  If you have an, autoimmune disease, it's pretty much guaranteed you have imbalance in your gut, you have a, leaky gut.

We have a double-blind human clinical trial on, leaky gut, that is so profound.  It's important for everybody to understand that it is our gut is dictating all aspects of our overall health. And there is something called the, vagus nerve, that is sends signals from the gut to the brain, and then sends signals from the brain back down to the gut. We all know that feeling you're excited about something and you have butterflies in your stomach, that's the gut brain connection.

We know when we get nervous, you have to go to the bathroom. Same thing the brain is sending signals down to the gut. But what we're also starting to understand is now the gut is sending signals to the brain. So, if you have a healthy balanced, microbiome, they send more calming signals to it. The opposite is also true, if you have an imbalanced gut, it sends signals to your brain that are not so healthy.

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Brain health and gut health

Understand that it is foundational for our health to focus on our gut. It is where we start. People take multivitamins and they take vitamin C and vitamin D, and those are all important things to be taking. But we need to focus on our, gut health, before we do anything else. And unfortunately, this world we live in is so offensive to the bacteria, we are 10 times more bacterial cells, but we use hand sanitizers and antibacterial soaps to kill off our bacteria.

When you go into the doctor and they say, you have an, autoimmune disease, you need to figure out what it is that's causing this imbalance and this issue and getting to the root cause of it.  So, probiotics,  need to arrive alive in the intestines and make the garden better. So, if you kind of compare your intestinal tract to a garden, you get the weeds which are the bad bacteria and then you have the good plants that are the good bacteria in your gut.

So, the idea is to get those, probiotic strains, into the intestines. The problem with a lot of, probiotics, on the market the vast majority of, probiotics, that are out there have difficulty getting through your stomach acid. That stomach acid is meant to be the gastric barrier. It's meant to keep out things that we don't want in there. So as a result, most, probiotic strains, really have difficulty getting into the intestines and so they're dying by the time they get to the intestines.

And so that was a big problem that we identified and solved with our, Just Thrive probiotics.  So, that's the point of a, probiotic, to make the ecosystem in your gut better and to make it more balanced.  We don't necessarily want to get rid of all the bad bacteria. We just want a better balance in the gut of our good and bad bacteria.

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Just Thrive spore-based probiotics

The difference with, Just Thrive probiotics, is that they have this endospore shell around it and that's why we call them, spore-based probiotics, and they have the ability to get through that stomach acid that gastric system alive.  And it is not until they hit the intestines, that endospore shell comes off and that is when they go into their live vegetative cell state.

Myrna: I understand that because I am taking, Just Thrive probiotics, and I see the difference.  I'm taking the, Just Thrive probiotics, and, Just Calm.

Tina: It is helping get rid of the weeds in the garden. It's helping take those plants that have been stepped down and trampled on and help them thrive and flourish in your gut. And that's why people see such profound results whether it's, becoming more regular, whether it's less gas and bloating, whether it's better mood, better sleep or I'm able to manage my weight better because my gut bacteria is dictating all of those things.

Myrna: Well, yeah, I have noticed that I'm definitely more regular. What are your newest products? What is the difference between probiotics and prebiotics?  Tell us about the newest, Just Thrive, product, Just Calm.

Tina: Yeah, so this is exciting. You know, one of our big core competencies in our company is that we do not produce anything unless it is missing or needed in the market. So, we do not want supplements like vitamin C and vitamin D. Those are all really important nutrients. But there's lots of companies out there doing that great. We are only launching products that are truly missing and needed and researched in the market. So, we just discovered this, probiotic strain.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Phychobiotic the gut friendly probiotic

It is called, psychobiotic. Psychobiotic, is basically gut friendly probiotic that is supporting the gut brain access. So, it's further supporting that communication between the gut and the brain. And so, we know that the gut this is important. I think people are just starting to understand this 90% of our serotonin, which is our happy hormone is produced in our gut for all these years. I feel like psychiatrists have had their hands tied by you know, prescribing, you know, anti-anxiety meds.

90% of our serotonin is produced in our gut. Dopamine is produced in our gut, GABA, which is our calming hormone is produced in our gut. And yet, nobody is talking about that when it comes to, brain health. And so, probiotics, are supporting your serotonin production and your GABA and dopamine but the key with those, psycho biotic, that is found in our product, Just Calm, is that it's actually supporting that, gut brain access.

So, it is helping bring down cortisol levels. We know that cortisol is really disruptive to our gut, it's bringing up we're in that fight or flight response all the time. The problem isn't when you have a, leaky gut, that toxins from your gut seep into your bloodstream and they start to create this inflammatory response and you have this chronic low-grade inflammation, that sending signals up to your brain and so now you have inflammation in your brain. That is the one cause of problems with your, brain health.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Brain inflammation is caused by external stressors

The other cause of brain inflammation are external stressors. So, we get cut off by traffic, you’ve gotten into a fight with a loved one, whatever it might be that's causing this stress that also causes this inflammation. So, we want to stop both of those things as much as possible or halt as much as possible. We want to get rid of that, leaky gut, and that's what the probiotic is doing. And then those external stressors, we want to be able to manage them better. and by lowering our cortisol.  So, that's what the, Just Calm, product is doing.

It is helping communication between the gut and the brain and helping those external stressors that we're faced with. Intermittent fasting, is just another tool I have in my toolbox. We want to do meditation and deep breathing, whatever it is that calms you down. It's really important whether even if it's changing your lifestyle. There are studies that show that when you, intermittent fasting, it helps increase diversity in the microbiome.

So, the important thing in our gut is we want a diverse, microbiome. We just we don't want one kind of good bacteria. We want lots of different kinds of good bacteria and we were born with a lot of diversity. And we know that, intermittent fasting, helps support diversity.  By starving some of those bacteria it helps them proliferate, which seems counterintuitive, but it's been shown to actually help with supporting your, gut bacteria.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

What are prebiotics

Prebiotics, is the fertilizer and the probiotic is like the gardener. The gardener is getting rid of the weeds and helping those plants come back to life. The, prebiotic, is the fertilizer for that garden, so it is feeding the good bacteria in your gut. To really to be defined as a, prebiotic, it needs to only target the beneficial bacteria. So, the good plants in the garden, but the problem is a lot of, prebiotics, it that the actually make a problem worse, by fertilizing the weeds as well as the good plants.

But if you look at our, prebiotic, it's called a precision prebiotic.  We didn't launch a prebiotic for a long time because we could not find prebiotic fibers that only targeted the beneficial bacteria. And so yeah, so our, prebiotic, is only fertilizing the good bacteria in the gut.

We have a product called gut fortified that is helping the mucosal barrier of our gut. We have a health coach on our team, that if anyone have any questions about which products to start with, especially if you have some severe gut dysbiosis and gut issues that you want to deal with, she can help you with a plan of what to do or which products to use.

But I always suggest that people start with a, probiotic, it is foundational for anything else you're doing.  You're eating all these really healthy foods, but if your gut is inflamed, it's not absorbing nutrients. You're taking all these other supplements but if your gut is inflamed, it's not absorbing those nutrients. So, I always suggest people start with the probiotic.  It's our number one selling product.  It's important to stay on it for a couple of months to actually start to notice the difference.

Conclusion

Myrna: How can readers get ahold of your products and also follow you on social media?

Tina: So the best place to find us would be at our website, which is www.just thrivehealth.com. If you use the coupon code TRANSFORM podcast listeners will get 15% off. They can follow us on Instagram, @justthrivehealth. And then if you go to our website, www.justthrivehealth.com you could email us, our one 800 numbers are there, you could contact make an appointment with our product Health coach and she can help you through anything as far as what products you want to start with.

Additional Resources 

http://blog.myhelps.us/8-secrets-to-sexy-total-health/

How to Find your Passion in Life

Have you found your, passion? Passion, is that burning desire that God placed in your belly at birth.  It is also called your burning bush.

In this episode I reference the Final chapter of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of Hope and Encouragement”

I call this chapter “God's consuming fire your , passion.

In this chapter of my book  “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” I tell the stories of Walt Disney, Sylvester Stallone, and J.K Rowling. These are 3 examples of ordinary people who accomplished extraordinary things because they were able to convert their passion, the fire in their belly, into its monetary equivalent. Their passion was like a “burning bush” deep within their souls and they were driven to consummate this burning desire.

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“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”

— Field Marshal Ferdinand Foch

What is Passion

Passion it is that thing that you were created to do. The thing that makes you feel good when you are doing it, like you transcended your body and entered the heavens. The thing that you would do all day for free.

What was Kobe Bryant burning bush? His Passion

Kobe Bryant was born with a purpose, he got the genes and the physical attributes to be a basketball player but;  he had to engage his, passion. 

Purpose  is what you were placed on the earth to do, it is  your contribution to mankind. The first way to uncover your, passion, is to find out what holds your interest and what you love doing.  God gave you your gift of purpose, and you're not always passionate about your purpose; but if you can marry it to your, passion, it’s like pouring gasoline on the fire. You have to feed your, passion. That’s what  Kobe Bryant did and that is why he is a Legend. No one out worked him, he wanted to be the best and win championships. 

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One of the self-evaluation questions I ask my new coaching clients is “If you were the Power-ball winner of $500,000,000. What would you do with your time?” You see, when you take away the need to earn money, then your head becomes clear as to what your passion really is.

In my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” I tell the stories of Walt Disney, Sylvester Stallone, and J.K Rowling. These are 3 examples of ordinary people who accomplished extraordinary things because they were able to convert their passion, the fire in their belly, into its monetary equivalent. Their passion was like a “burning bush” deep within their souls and they were driven to consummate this burning desire.

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For Walt Disney it was drawing and Art. Walt started drawing as an ambulance driver in the army. Then he became a commercial artist.  After being let go from his company, he decided to start his own graphics company. His company failed from bad management. Walt had a string of failures that included bankruptcy before he found success.  He married Art with imagination and created the happiest place on earth. His passion for drawing birth an empire that has gross revenues today in the billions of dollars.

Walt Disney World is now visited by over 5 million families every year, Annual cash flow from Disney’s consortium of products and films are in excess of 21 billion dollars.  It includes 535 Disney stores, a cable television station, amusement parks in Orlando, California, Paris and more. All because he would not let the fire in his belly die.

So what would you do for free?

How did Sylvester Stallone Find his, Passion?

Sylvester Stallone was born disabled. He suffered injury at birth that left one side of his mouth deformed and caused him to speak funny. Sylvester's passion was born from being hungry. Like Les Brown would say “You got to be Hungry” Sylvester was broke and hungry. He was walking the street one day, cold and hungry and he decided to go into a library to stay warm. Laying on the table was a book about a fighter who overcame odds to win.

That inspired Sylvester Stallone to go write the Rocky story. He wrote that story in one sitting. He did not stop for 20 hours. That inspiration was the gasoline that lit the fire that God put inside him. Again he married passion with imagination and wrote a story that resonated with each and every one of us. The story of Rocky. It made him a millionaire many times over.

“When you set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn.”

— John Wesley

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Back in the day, Stallone was a struggling actor in every definition. At some point, he got so broke that he stole his wife’s jewelry and sold it. Things got so bad that he even ended up homeless. Yes, he slept at the New York bus station for 3 days. Unable to pay rent or afford food. His lowest point came when he tried to sell his dog at the liquor store to a stranger. He didn’t have money to feed the dog anymore. He sold his dog for $25. He says he walked away crying.

Two weeks later, he saw a boxing match between Mohammed Ali and Chuck Wepner and that match gave him the inspiration to write the script for the famous movie, ROCKY. He wrote the script in 20 hours! He tried to sell it and got an offer for $125,000 for the script. But he had just ONE REQUEST. He wanted to STAR in the movie. He wanted to be the MAIN ACTOR, Rocky himself. But the studio said NO. They wanted a REAL STAR.

They said he “Looked funny and talked funny”. He left with his script. A few weeks later, the studio offered him $250,000 for the script. He refused. They even offered $350,000. He still refused. They wanted his movie, but NOT him. He said NO. He was not selling out, if they did not cast him, they couldn’t buy his script. It worked.  They wanted the script so badly, that they cast his as Rocky and history was made.

What is exactly the, Meaning of, Passion 

Passion,  is that which deeply stirs us or a developmental perspective, so it's like the essence of our commitment.  Passion is the thing that drives us. You might hear older individuals say they “lost their will to live,” that means they lost their passion, their fuel.   Just like a child requires love to grow, we require passion to continue to grow inside. 

When we selectively share our, passion,  we engage the universe to manifest our, passion. 

It’s like putting gasoline on your fire when you engaged your, passion.

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How did J.K Rowling Find Her, Passion?

J.K Rowling was a single parent, a divorcee and out of work. On a train ride from Manchester to London she got the inspiration to create the Harry Potter story. But she was already a published author. Writing her first book at 6 years old and another at 11 years old. She became an English teacher because her passion was writing. Ms Rowling says

Failure stirs the fire in your belly to do something about your passion.

In 2015  J.K. Rowling's 2008 Harvard commencement speech was published under the title ‘Very Good Lives: The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination'

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My, passion, is learning, building and imparting. As a Life coach, author and motivational speaker, I am constantly learning, building and imparting into the lives of others.   I could do it all day and I do it for free.

Find your, passion!

“There is no greater thing you can do with your life and your work than follow your passions – in a way that serves the world and you.” Richard Branson

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How to find your Passion in life

What I encourage people to do is to focus on the positive at all times.  If they remove the negative, those emotional vampires, they will let the light in. Once you move away or walk away or even run away from negativity, you can begin to find your,  passion in life. Be passionate about whatever you desire, it doesn't matter what it is, be passionate about it by surrounding yourself with those people who are similar in Life or those people who have already done it. 

I remember people talking about Diana Ross, one of my favorite people. They were so upset with her for continually surrounding herself around for White people, and she told them she surrounds herself with anyone regardless of color who is going in the same direction as she or where she wants to go. 

The common complaint among a lot of people is that they need to, ‘find their passion.’

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Additional Resources How to Find Your Passion

http://blog.myhelps.us/8-find-your-passion-it-is-your-burning-bush/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-win-at-the-game-of-life/

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-passion-and-desire

https://www.forbes.com/sites/timothyjmcclimon/2018/11/12/purpose-vs-passion-in-leadership-which-do-you-need-most/

5 Differences Between Finding Your Passion and Finding Your Purpose

How to Fly like an Eagle above the Storms of Life

Eagles, love the storm. When clouds gather, the Eagle, get excited. The Eagle, uses the, winds of the  storm,  to lift it higher. We can also learn to, fly like an eagle, above the, storms of life.

Did you suffer from Childhood sexual abuse or sexual harassment as an adult? Today on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast, I share my journey from being sexually abused as a child and how I used the, storms of life,  to, fly like an, eagle in a storm. I teach how you too can use the winds from the, storms of life,  to elevate your life to greater heights.

In this blog, we will study the, Eagle, and how the, Eagle, looks forward to the storm, because the, eagle, knows that only by using the, winds of the storm, can she elevate to greater heights. Eagles in a storm, fly above the storm. Without the, storm, she can never fly above the clouds. Similarly, in life we need challenges, hurts and disappointments to get us out of our comfort zones and teach us to fly like,  eagles in a storm.  Without the, storms of life, we would become complacent.

 

Here are some characteristics of the Eagle:

How to, fly like an Eagle, above the, storms of life 

The crow that picks and picks at the ground, can’t rise to the heights of the eagle or is not conditioned to rise about the ground. It's mindset is to stay on the ground and peck for food.

The, Eagle, does not escape the, storm. It simply uses the, storm, to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the, storm.

When the, storms of life, come upon us — and all of us will experience them — we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God and fly above the, storms of life,  like an eagle, or we can be like the crow and peck and peck on the ground.

The, storms of life, do not have to overcome us. We can allow power of, Jesus Christ, to lift us above thw, winds of the storm. Jesus Christ,  enables us to ride the,  winds of the storm, that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the, storm.

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Eagles, in the, Storm

1. Eagles, fly alone at high altitude and not with sparrows or with other small birds. No other bird can go to the height of the, Eagle. We can, fly like an eagle, where no others go.
2. Eagles, have strong vision. They have the ability to focus on something up to five kilometers away. When an, Eagle, sites his prey, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it. No matter the obstacle, the, Eagle, will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it. We can have vision like an, Eagle, and have focus on our goals.
3. Eagles in the storm, When clouds gather the, Eagle, get excited. The, Eagle, uses the, winds of the  storm,  to lift it higher. Once it finds the, winds of the storm, the Eagle uses the raging, storm, to lift him above the clouds. This gives the, Eagle, an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the leafs and branches of the trees. We can use the, storms of life,  to rise to greater heights. Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.

Storms, bring destruction

I meditated on the reason for the hurricanes that caused so much destruction to homes and property in the Caribbean islands, Houston, TX and Florida. I believe that God does not make mistakes, that everything in the Universe has a purpose. So, I asked myself what is the purpose of the, storm?

My initial response from the Universe was that, storms, are created with the purpose to blow down the old and make room for the new, because everything is recycled on this earth. But I felt there was more so that is why I decided to study the, Eagle. As mentioned before. The ,Eagle, uses the, storm, to elevate him higher. He can't fly to great heights without the winds of the storm.

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What if God created the, storm, to elevate his people?

The, storm, does not only blow down old trees, it blows down old houses as well, it blows down old power posts and power lines. So, in actuality we should be like the eagle and anxiously await the storm to see what old thing will be renewed.

It works for old relationships as well. There is something immensely intimate about riding out the, storm, with your loved one. Just you and your close family members. All the attention is on each other. No television, no lights just the personal connection and candle light!

I have always loved, storms. I remember the first, storm, that me and my husband rode out together. We were only dating for about 3 months. I loved the rain on the roof, the sounds of the winds rustling the roof, the sight of the palm trees blowing in the winds and being wrapped up in his arms. I think we came out of that experience closer than we went in. That is a time to really talk and share! Get to know each other.

The other thing the, storm, to the Caribbean Islands brings is new things to replace the old. If you had an old roof and the wind blew if off, guess what FEMA will give you a new one. If your pool screens were old and the wind just ripped them apart more then guess what you get new screens at no cost to you. If your old car was on its last leg, then you could park it under a tree and pray the tree falls on it! You get my point.

How you experience anything depends on how you interpret it. Change your mindset that the, storm, comes to take from you and replace it with the winds of the storm brings change. Changing out the old for the new.

Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, in the, storm, and you will not sink

But I still think there is more!
The bible teaches us to keep our eyes on, Jesus Christ, when we are in the, storm.
There was a time when Jesus had sent his disciples to go on before him while he stayed in the mountain to pray (Matthew 14:23).
While they were in the boat there came a, storm, “and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.”- Matthew 14:24

Seeing the distress his disciples were in, Jesus Christ, went to them, walking on water. When Peter saw, Jesus Cjrist, he asked him to allow him to come to him, by walking on the water. Peter started to walk on with his faith however, when Peter reached at a certain distance he got distracted, and when he got distracted by the boisterous wind he became afraid and started to sink.

“But when [Peter] saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” (Matthew 14:30 NIV)

Many of us are like Peter, we started our journey with the Lord and even though the, storms of life, come our, faith, allows us to overcome these trials, you could say to ‘walk on water’. But along the way we get distracted especially when we think the situation has gone on for too long, or we come upon big, storm. I am using the, storm, here as a metaphor for trouble. It was easy to trust God when our trials were little; but what happens when the situations seem bigger than we are able to handle? What happens when we have a category 4 storm? Do we let fear in? Or do we anticipate it with the mindset that it will elevate us to new heights?

Focusing on what’s happening around us will cause us to be afraid; afraid of losing our family, losing our jobs, our homes, or being broke and not having enough to take care of our needs. We start worrying about what is going to happen next and very soon we start to sink.

The,  storm, also bring with it floods. The water could be more dangerous than the winds.
With Irma, I was going to ride out the, storm, in my home because my house is built to withstand the winds; but as soon as they started talking about 10-15 ft. storm surges. I called my husband and said we are leaving now! I was afraid of my car being under water and I pictured me on the roof waiting to be rescued. So, I understand fear!

Joel Osteen had a message about flood waters he used the analogy of your water breaking during childbirth. That flood there signals new birth as is regarded with excitement. He also reminded us that we never know when that flood is going come. His wife Victoria water broke when she was in an elevator going somewhere that was not the hospital! It is all about perception. Ask yourself what is the good that can come out of the house and car being flooded? You get new ones of course ! Usually the insurance pays!

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Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

Here are five things God wants you to do if you feel like you’re sinking in a, storm.

1. Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, and stay focus.
The moment you take your eyes off the Lord, you will go under. When you focus on the wind and the waves — your circumstances — you’re going to sink, just like Peter. There will be many things happening in the world to get you distracted. Economies going under, crime and violence on the rise, people losing their jobs, accidents on the rise and so forth. These things will get you distress. Jesus Christ,  tells us that when we see these things happening, that is not the time to get sidetracked, but it is the time to look up (Luke 21:28.)

2. Do not be fearful, Jesus is with you in the, storm.
When you’re in a, storm, it is very easy to become fearful, fearful that you will not get rid of a sickness, fearful that your marriage will end, fearful that your child will die, fearful that you will not be able to pay off your debts or bills and still have enough money to survive. But when fear comes, and it will come, take authority over it and stand on the promises of God that he will always be with you. Fear comes with torment and that’s why Jesus gives us peace (John 14:27). Peace that will help you to ride out your storms.

3. Don’t let go of, faith.
Faith, is like our heavenly currency that we use to draw what we need from the spiritual realm. When you maintain your faith you will receive strength to weather the, storms of life.

4. Don’t doubt.
You don’t need great, faith, to make it through the, storms of life. You just need faith in the right person, that is, Jesus Christ. Peter started to sink when he started to doubt.

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5. Praise God.
Praise is a weapon, a very powerful one. It confuses the enemy as he cannot understand how you able facing your storms but will have a praise. When Jehoshaphat was facing a large army, he did not use swords to fight his battle, he just praised God and his enemies were totally destroyed. Even in the storm, even when you feel like you’re sinking, even when you’re scared to death — praise him all the time.

Additional Resources

Life Leadership & Success

http://blog.myhelps.us/principle-2-the-events-in-your-life-whether-good-or-bad-work-together-for-good/

 

 

How to Stop Self Sabotaging Behaviors

Self sabotaging behaviors, move us in the opposite direction from our goals. When we understand the patterns that underlie, self sabotage, we begin to free ourselves.

We then begin to allow ourselves to interact with ourselves and the world with greater success, joy, and fulfillment. The process of breaking through denial, facing your fear, anger, and other difficult emotions, and making peace with your pain, leads to an ending of the internal war with yourself.

You can step fully into the greatest expression of yourself. Finding the wisdom inside the wounds you've endured is one of the most important conversations you'll ever have with yourself about, self sabotage, because on the other side of it is the emotional freedom and depth of joy that you were born to have.

Introduction to, Self Sabotaging Behaviors

In this interview Sabrina Johnson, inspirational Speaker and Author,  talks on how she overcame different aspects of, self sabotaging behaviors, because of her lack of self confidence and negative self talk. Overcoming, Self Sabotage, and taking Inventory of your failures is one way to stop, self defeating behavior.

Whatever form it takes – whether, self sabotaging behaviors, or limiting thought patterns; self sabotage,  always diminishes the passion and energy we need to fulfill our dreams. At the heart of the matter, it is possible to create as much love, fulfillment, success and joy as we feel worthy of having. By identifying how your inner saboteur is, self sabotaging,  your life, you can make radical progress toward that which you want.

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Overcoming, Self Defeating,  behavior by changing your Mindset

Mindsets are beliefs – beliefs about yourself and your most basic qualities.

Think about your intelligence, your talents, your personality. Are these qualities simply fixed traits, carved in stone or can you cultivate and grow these traits?

Your intelligence is not a fixed quantity which cannot be increased. With practice, training, and above all method, we can increase our attention, our memory, our judgment and become more intelligent than we were before.

In a, Fixed Mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits thus the, self defeating, behavior

In a Growth Mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.

The, Fixed Mindset, is a, Defeated Mindset

The, fixed mindset, creates an internal dialogue that is focused on judging. e.g

  • “I am a loser”
  • “I am the giver in this relationship and I get nothing in return”
  • “I am a no good husband”
  • “My partner is selfish only thinks about himself”

People with a, growth mindset,  are sensitive to positive and negative information; but they're attuned to its implications for learning and growing. They ask themselves “What can I learn from this” How can I improve “How can I help my partner do better.

Self sabotage
Self sabotage

How to Overcome, Self Sabotage, at Work

I have always been someone who spent years trying to move my life forward I always say that I am a dreamer;  but the problem was I made decisions and choices in my life that counteracted that data.  I told myself I wanted to move forward; but everything that I did was, self sabotage, my behavior caused me to move backwards.

If I stopped and did an honest self-assessment and really seek God for direction on what am I needed to do. I would figure out  why  I was  seemingly repeating the same, self sabotaging, cycles in my life.  It was at that point that I began to really recognize certain, defeated mindsets, or negative truth about myself that I held  about myself subconsciously that was preventing me from moving forward and continuing these, self defeating behaviors.

For instance I'll give you an example. I am very career-driven, so I desire to move up the career ladder.  I have a master's degree in marketing;  but whenever I went to apply for a director level or VP level positions, I get intimidated and, self sabotage, by talking myself out of applying for that position. I would apply and start working at a lower position and then the next couple of months I'm miserable.

Inevitably my employer would see in me what I couldn't see in myself and they would give me more responsibility. Then I would complain about being overworked and underpaid.  My, defeated mindset, would make me, self sabotage, and take a lower position than I was qualified for.  Then I would leave these jobs because it wasn't what I wanted and then the cycle would begin all over again at another company.

I had to say OK God I need your help.  Give me the courage to jump in even though I felt fear.

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What is a, Defeated Mindset

Myrna: Let me not skip over this huge opportunity to ask you Sabrina. Since you've done whole bunch of self-assessments,  why did you have a, defeated mindset, and, self sabotage,  yourself all those years?  Why did you not have confidence in your abilities?

Sabrina: That is a great question Myrna,  and that was something I had to really pinpoint.  I was listening to a speaker and he said when you lack self-confidence, somewhere along the line in your life someone fed into your mind that you were not good enough. That you were not worthy enough.  I started looking back on past unhealthy relationships and past hurts and start to really connect the guys who rejected me.  Hurts from past relationships.

I had to rely on my faith and ask God for guidance. Outside of that I read a lot of self-help books and articles on how to overcome a, defeated mindset,  how to build your confidence and how to speak with confidence;  but a lot of it, the core of it really has to go back to the words that I was speaking to myself.  So when I started to get intimidated by the Job description, I would remind myself that I have done this job in the past.  You're not going to take a different role in the company then do this job and not get paid for it. I started being my own cheerleader.

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Here are 4 steps to Overcome, Self Sabotage 

  1. Become aware of your emotions. Your emotions are the language of your body.
  2. Change your emotions by thinking of want you want. Eg. You have applied for a promotion 2 times now and you keep being passed over. A, defeated mindset, says I am never going to get this job I had better get used to this and begin to, self sabotage, Instead imagine yourself in this new position. Feel in your body how it would feel to sit at that desk with your name on the door.
  3. Your emotions will change and so will your body. It believes it is living in the future now.
  4. That’s the way to get over, self sabotaging behavior. Change your brain to change your life.
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 Additional Resources on Overcoming, Self Sabotage, 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-self-destructive-behavior/201512/understanding-self-destructive-dysregulated-behaviors

https://lonerwolf.com/self-destructive-person/

A Guide to Changing Self-Destructive Behaviors

 

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-does-emotional-intelligence-affect-your-success/

http://blog.myhelps.us/5-mindset-transformations-permanent-relationships/

Why Having A Morning Routine Saves Your Day

A morning routine prevents the world from draining you because you fill up your tank in the morning. A typical morning routine involves a spiritual practice, a physical routine and some form of learning.

In this episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I share my morning routine and the morning routine shared by Robin Sharma in his book the 5 Am Club.

Download the podcast here:

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My morning routine starts with morning meditation

A lot of people who work 9 to 5 or 7 to 3 etc. have to wake up early to have a morning routine and Robin Sharma teaches that you should complete your morning routine by 8 am.

But that is not for everyone and since a lot of people are now working from home your morning routine can start anytime in the morning.  For example, my morning routine starts around 8 am and finishes about 11.30 am because I work for myself.

So what should be included in your morning routine?

Let’s tell you about mine first and then we will look at Robin Sharma’s from his book the 5 AM Club.

My morning routine starts with my, morning meditation, sometimes I sit on my meditation cushion, but mostly I meditate before I get out of bed because most times I fall back to sleep because meditation takes me into delta brain state of deep relaxation.

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 Your morning routine should include a spiritual practice

After I wake up, I have a cup of tea or coffee and read a few chapters in my bible.  I have also started listing to the Bhagavad Gita. Sometimes I get inspiration after I read my bible for my 5 min segments with coach Myrna.  But I always write in the morning, it seems my communication with source is open.

My morning routine continues at the park for a 5 K walk or I alternate with cardio and strength training at the gym. When I am walking in the park, I am listening to, personal development books, or, personal development podcasts.  I am communing with the trees, rocks and nature. This completes my morning routine around 11 or 11.30 am.

Transform Your Mind Podnews
Transform Your Mind Podnews
This is what Robin Sharma teaches:

Perform the following 5 acts of character training—each morning before 8AM—to help you create consistently superb days. And a spirit that soars.

1. Start your morning routine by Writing a letter of gratefulness to someone who deserves to be recognized. Every person alive today craves sincere appreciation. Handwriting a letter to a good soul is a gift you both get to receive. (This is so good, I have to add this to my routine.)

2. Read from a profound book. We live in a world where very few go deep. We seek informal news in bite-sized chunks and scroll our feeds in hot pursuit of glitter. Before 8AM, sit quietly and read from a great human’s autobiography. Or from a text of philosophy. To ground you on what’s important, before you live out your day.

3. See your highest life. Take 5 minutes, with eyes closed, to imagine yourself behaving and performing as the person you most long to be. Make the movie vivid and colorful and real. Over time—as your self identify rewires—you’ll begin to inhabit the life you’ve invented. (I love this I do a form of this when I am walking in the park. I do a walking meditation I learned from Dr Joe Dispenza where I am imagining my future and walking into it.)

4. Perform an act of generosity. Before 8AM every day, do one tiny gesture to make someone’s life a little better. It could be a smile to a stranger or a hug to your child. Paying for the coffee of the person in line behind you or thanking the bus driver.

5. Turn off your phone until 8AM daily. The early morning hours have deep magic within them. Life’s too short to miss this glory because you’re addicted to technology.

Conclusion

So, there you have 2 different kinds of morning routines. I hope you create your own from the examples outlined above.  It prevents the world from draining you because you fill your tank up in the morning.

Additional Resources 

3 Ways To Let Your Inner Greatness Shine Through

How to Heal After being Abandoned

Being, abandoned, by  a loved one cuts deeply in the heart resulting in emotional, abandonment.  It is the result of a significant person discarding you, dismissing you, devaluing you, or not acknowledging you. This type of invisible injury causes great harm to the recipient.  In fact, the term “recipient” is ironic because often the recipient receives nothing; which is the problem.

Regardless if you are, abandoned by your parents, a lover, a friend, a sibling. The feeling of, not being enough, overwhelms those who are, abandoned. No one sees it and it tends to go underground in terms of abuse. Victims simply feel empty and invisible.

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Here are the top 3 reasons for feeling, Abandoned:

  • Devalued and rejected by others
  • Abandoned, by our parents
  • Feelings of, not good enough,  because we have lack.

When the, abandonment, wound is caused by an absent parent. When one of your parents has chosen to not be in your life, this cuts deeply. There is no easy explanation to be found by those who’ve been abandoned by a parent. Some try to make the best of the situation, ignoring that fact that they don’t have this parent in their lives; but the damage is still the same.  There are life-long consequences to parental abandonment.

Children in the foster care system that have been, abandoned, by their parents never regain their self-esteem. They look are other kids who have their parents and feel worthless. They end up most time becoming promiscuous because they look for love in all the wrong places.

Some learn to cope in different ways. Some pretend it doesn’t matter; some question their worth; others may be openly angry.  With, abandonment, comes defense mechanisms.

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Are you tired of going to bed each night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, only for it to be more of the same?

Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?

Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then friends, check out the Productive on Purpose podcast. this podcast is for you! Search “Productive on Purpose” on your favorite podcast player to listen today!

Oh, and if you struggle with procrastination, go to planning.productivepurpose.com to download your free “Planning for Procrastinators” guide. It's time to start walking in our purpose, y'all.

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Abandoned, by Love

Most women who were, abandoned, end up in unhealthy relationship with narcissistic men who abuse them and, abandon, them again.  This pattern is repeated often.

Women who have been, abandoned, could be likened to a cracked vase. If you have been broken from, abandonment, then you can’t hold love, you can’t hold self-esteem, you can’t hold purpose, everything pours out of you.

It takes work to heal your cracks.  The first step in is to identify that you are broken from, abandonment.

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Identifying your, Abandonment, Feelings

Once you have identified your, abandonment, issue and have processed through some of the feelings there are some other imagery exercises you can to do heal yourself. These are described below:

  1. Identify the part of you that is hurt. This can be labeled as your, “hurt inner child.” If the source of your hurt occurred in adulthood, this does not matter because the wound of, abandonment, most likely put you in a regressive state of mind.  You have likely regressed emotionally to a younger, more helpless age. Use imagery and visualize this inner child.
  2. Now imagine the part of you that is healthy and compassionate. This part of you is going to be instrumental in your healing from being, abandoned. You must come to the rescue of your inner, hurt self by offering love, time, empathy, hope, and encouragement.
  3. In addition to the hurt, abandoned, part of yourself, identify your coping mechanisms – particularly any personas or sub-selves that act out; the part of you that is trying to compensate for the hurt experienced by the abandonment of your loved one. Identify parts of you that are trying to respond to the hurt in an unhealthy manner.
  4. Talk to your inner hurt, abandoned, child. Assure her of her value and worth. Be present for her in a real and tangible way.

In the end, no matter who has hurt you, no matter how affected you may be from the resulting injury from, abandonment, you still have a life to live. Even if you have an ache in your heart for the missing person, you can still thrive in life; find hope and love, and live well. You do this by honoring your feelings, acknowledging the loss, validating the consequences of the loss, and enjoying your life.

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iHeart Radio

How the, Abandonment,  wound plays out in relationships:

  • Oversensitivity to criticism or feedback
  • Overreacting to conflict
  • Becoming a pleaser
  • Anxiety and fear of the other person leaving
  • Ending relationships early before the other person has a chance to leave
  • Jealousy or suspicion that your partner will hurt, cheat, or leave even when there’s no sign of malicious behavior
  • Self-doubt, insecurity, and lack of self-worth
  • Staying in an abusive relationship for fear of being alone
  • In more extreme cases of being deeply triggered during events such as break-ups, a divorce, or a loss:one might feel a total loss of control over their emotions, hyper-reactivity, anxiety attacks, fear, insomnia, weight loss or gain, and obsessive thoughts or behavior.

An, abandonment, wound is invisible to the eye, but it leaves telltale signs in how we relate to the external world, how we feel internally and how we behave in our relationships. It can have us spend our whole lives running from perceived danger. To test someone’s love like a straw that inevitably breaks, then using their resignation as evidence we’re living in an unsafe world. It can cause us to blindly accept the bad behavior of others, ignoring our own needs and prevent us from having a strong, powerful voice.

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Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

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Additional Resources Abandonment

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-single-women-find-love/

How to Heal Your Brokenness

http://blog.myhelps.us/10-ways-childhood-trauma-impact-adults-in-love/

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-the-effects-of-childhood-trauma-4147640

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201706/4-ways-childhood-trauma-impacts-adults

 

 

Using The God Shift to Find Purpose and Destiny

My definition of a, God shift, is anytime you ditch disruption or delay in your life, collide with, God's purpose, in moving to a greater, destiny. And it's important because many of us are pursuing the wrong place. And sometimes that's a physical place. But sometimes we're also putting energy into the wrong places in terms of our relationships, and our destiny

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Myrna: What is the concept of the, God shift? And why is it important when we're navigating the seasons of life to get to our destiny?

Bio

Shayna Rattler, the Founder of A God Shift ™ Movement, is an ordained prophet, author and speaker who empowers individuals and organizations around the world to experience a God shift that moves them into a greater destiny, expectancy and possibility. She is passionate about helping others develop a deeper understanding of God and the identity they have in Him. Her wit and humor make God’s word relatable and her direct communication style makes it actionable.

Shayna has helped celebrities, influencers, military officers, political dignitaries, pastors, corporate executives and seasoned entrepreneurs achieve personal growth and organizational excellence. She and her businesses have received multiple awards, she has published multiple books and has been featured in over 450 media outlets. She is also the host of A God Shift Podcast and A God Shift TV show

Shayna: My definition of a, God shift, is anytime you ditch disruption or delay in your life, collide with, God's purpose, in moving to a greater destiny. And it's important because many of us are pursuing the wrong place. And sometimes that's a physical place. But sometimes we're also putting energy into the wrong places in terms of our relationships, and our mindset.  The Lord is so committed to the results in our lives and getting us to where he desires us to be. That if there's anything that we're putting energy into, that is not on the path that he has planned for us, he will shake us up and he will use things like disruption and delay in order to get our attention. That is what I call a, God shift.

But that attention is really an invitation that there's another level of destiny that await us. And so, since so many people are personally in the wrong place and putting energy into the wrong things, It's important that we respond appropriately to God's invitation so that we can really get everything that he has for us.

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Navigating the seasons of life

Myrna: So when are you talking about the, seasons of life, are you saying that how we incorporate the spring, summer winter, seasons of life?  Are you saying the negative disruptions are the winter season and the positive disruptions are the spring and summer season?

Shayna: Yes, we all have seasons in our lives that mimic the natural seasons related to the weather. It's just the natural ebbs and flows of life. But sometimes it's a season of waiting. Sometimes we're going through a season of we've accomplished everything that we've set out to do, yet there's still an inkling in our belly that there's another level of success with our name on it. So, it's not always negative. I do believe that sometimes the negative seasons like the winter season are the ones that we pay the most attention to.

Oftentimes we give the, winter season of life, the most attention to in terms of resources and effort, but it can be all of those things. Sometimes a, season of life, can be I just sent my kid off to college and this is the very first time that I've ever been alone in my entire life.  Whatever it is that you're experiencing good, bad or indifferent, is contributing to a particular, season of life.

Myrna: So, if God has a purpose for you, and you're putting your energy into a different purpose, we said that the, God shift, is when God sends some kind of disruption so that he can get your attention.  The disruptions could be illnesses, the disruption could be disappointment etc. So, when you talk about the, God shift, how do we use those disruptions to get us back on the correct path?

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Disruptions are not always negative

Shayna: First, we have to be clear that the disruption is not always negative. A disruption is any unexpected circumstance in your life. So, you could unexpectedly get a major job opportunity that requires you to move to a part of the country or part of the world that you know nothing about and it can make you uncomfortable and it can come with fear and doubt. However, it's the most money that you've ever made in your entire life and gives you the opportunity to have more impact and influence than you've ever had in your life. So, I think we first have to be clear that disruptions don't have to be negative occurrences. But that's one of the misnomers.

The question is, are we going to see what it is that he needs us to see? Are we going to learn what it is that he needs to learn? Are we going to go where he needs us to go? We have to be able to identify, why is the Lord using what it is that he's using to get my attention? Why is he using it now? And what do I need to do as a result of that? That's kind of the backdrop of a, God shift, is that we're pursuing a path that is not in alignment with the ultimate, destiny, that God has for us. He uses something to shake us up to get our attention. Now, how are we going to respond? Just like if I send you an invitation to a dinner party at my house? How are you going to respond?

Sometimes it can be that you're on one path and you're at a crossroads and you wonder should I stay on this path? Do I do something different? Are your opportunities in relationships? Are they drying up? Do you find yourself always relying on other people to pray for you? You don't feel like you have enough power and authority to be able to pray for yourself. You're waiting idly on God to do everything and you don't recognize that you have a role in your life. Sometimes people feel burned out. Sometimes people feel anxious. There's a number of things that you can identify that something is just off and you may not know exactly why it's off or how to fix it, but you know, whatever this season is that you're experiencing right now, you don't want to stay there.

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Podbean

Our seasons are paths to our destiny

Myrna: Right, you don't want to stay there. Just like the natural seasons, the, seasons of life, are not permanent. It's the flow of life and you keep moving towards our, destiny.  You don't want to linger in that winter season for sure. Okay, what can get in the way of successfully sifting through the, seasons of life, especially the difficult ones to get to, destiny?

Shayna: There's a lot of things that some of the main ones that I see are expecting things to look in the next season like they've looked in previous seasons, especially if we continue with your analogy of the natural seasons. Sometimes, assignments and seasons expire? Our purpose doesn't change. Our, destiny, doesn't change. Our calling doesn't change, but seasons and assignments expire. And many of us the reason why we are not into the next level of, destiny, that God has for us is because we don't give ourselves permission to let go of a season that has expired.

Myrna: How do you help clients navigate the, God shift, and get back to, purpose and destiny?

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

Purpose and destiny leaves clues

Shayna: I would say that purpose and destiny leaves clues. So if we look at my own life, and we look at previous assignments, when I was a young girl, probably a preteen, I volunteered in the activities department in nursing. And one of the things that I enjoyed the most was we had a bed bound patient that if they moved her, it would kill her.

And so I would ask her if you could go anywhere or you could do anything where would you go? What would you do? And then before I would come back the next time I would go to the library, and I would find a book about what it is that she said she would do and where she would go and I read it to her, so I was helping to make her dreams come true. So that was Clue #1 on my purpose and destiny.

You fast forward a couple of years, I became a therapist, and whether I was helping someone who'd had a stroke, learn how to brush their hair again, or someone who had just had a hip replacement learn how to navigate the bathtub again. I was making their dreams come true. That was Clue #3. I advanced into owning my own business and being a business coach. I was making people's business dreams come true.

And now in the faith-based space. I'm helping people get into their, destiny, teaching them how to make their dreams come true that, God’s purpose and destiny,  has for them because there's usually something that's blocking them seeing it.

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Look at past assignments to see your destiny

And so if you look at the, assignments, that I had, from a pre-teen to now being 45 years old, my purpose and destiny on this earth is to make people's dreams come true. That's the impact of that I am designed to have and so you know I said a minute ago people use the words assignment, calling, purpose and destiny interchangeably, but they're not the same thing. Your assignment is to your calling is how you help them. Your, purpose, is why you're here. What is the impact that you're meant to have? And your, destiny, is where your purpose takes you.

So, you see my calling, zigzagged a little bit in terms of how I helped people, but my purpose has always been to make people's dreams come true. Although I've done it in different assignments and in different, seasons of life. So, for if someone came to me and said, Shayna, what is my purpose? I'm not even going to try to come up with some deep prophetic word. I'm going to ask them. Tell me about your previous, assignments, that you've had. And let's see if we can identify a common thread that has been woven throughout those assignments. I would ask them, tell me about your passions and tell me about your frustration because I think we're those two things intersect.

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iHeart Radio

Formula to unlock purpose and destiny

Write down this formula. It's called the ABCs to unlock heaven. This is how you use the authority that scripture says that we have.

  • The A is aligned, we first have to be aligned with His Word, His willingness ways. This is not new age, a woman will name it and claim it. Just focus on what it is that you want and got out. We're not talking about none of that. Witness camp. We're aligning with God's will and His Word
  • The B is for belief. It's not enough for us just to believe that God is able, but you have to believe that he'll do it for you.
  • The C is the most important as C stands for confession. As a believer the most powerful weapon that we have is our mouths. And we have to use our mouths and make sure that our speech is in alignment with everything that we're believing for and everything it is that God says that we can have. That's why there are scriptures like speak those things that are as though they were that's why there's scriptures that says.

Let the poor say I am rich. Let the weak say I'm strong. So we have to make sure that every word that comes out of our mouth now is in alignment with what we want. Stop talking about what you don't want, stop talking about what did not happen. You need to begin to declare what it is that you want to see happen.

Conclusion

Myrna: You have a free resource that you want to share with the listeners, tell them how they can get a hold of you. Talk about your podcast about your podcast and TV show.

Shayna: Absolutely. So, we've talked a lot about, God shift, and all of us are shifting in some capacity in our lives. And anytime, no matter what we're shifting from or what we're shifting to. There's always four primary areas of our lives that we're going to have to shift. But there's four shifts that are going to be required. And so, I created a free guide called “When God says shift, and inside that guide, you'll discover what those four shifts are to help you shift successfully. You can grab this at  www.Godsaysshift.com. And if you want to find out about anything about us, our website is www.AGodshift.com You can find out about our books, the television show, the podcast, everything all in one place. If you're looking for me on social media, I'm the most active on Instagram @agodshift there as well.

Additional Resources 

How God Uses Coincidence To Get You To Your Destiny

Self Confidence: The Courage To Be You

In this episode of 5 min Fridays with Coach Myrna, I want to talk to you about self-confidence and the courage to be you. The kind that says I know who I am and I don’t need you to validate me. I accept and trust myself and my abilities. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I choose to work on my strengths and not my weaknesses because my strengths are what is going to propel me forward.

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A self confidence story

I heard this story and I want to share with you today to illustrate self confidence and how you see yourself.

Jim worked at a radio station all his life. He was a well-known and famous radio show host. All of his friends and colleges knew him by one feature: if he’s on-air, he is always wearing a suit and a tie. They laughed at him: ‘No one ever sees you, why do you dress like that?’, but he always turned that into a joke.

One day Jim was invited to appear on the TV. There was a show dedicated to the oldest radio employees. For the first time the people, who only knew him by his voice, would see him. Before the recording of the show, the director came to Jim and asked:

– Usually you arrive on time, but today you are 10 minutes late. It’s not horrible, but I’m still interested, why?

– You see, – Jim answered, – at the last moment when I was already dressed up, I noticed that I don’t have new socks. For the first time I was invited to the television, and I thought that simply wearing clean socks is not enough. It needs to be in new socks. So, I needed to go to the store for socks.

– But why do you need new socks? – The director was surprised. – You could have come without the socks, because we will be filming you only in close-up, over the waist.

– You see, to be spotless on-air, I need to feel myself spotless in everything, starting with the shirt and finishing with the pen in my pocket. And if my socks have holes in them, or my shoes are dirty, I’m not spotless anymore.

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Transform Your Mind Podvine

Self confidence is an internal feeling

Nobody could tell that Jim’s socks had holes in them, but he could and that meant he no longer had confidence in himself.

Maybe his internal dialogue went something like this

You call yourself spotless that’s a joke you are no better than the bum on the street with holes in your socks.

Self-confidence comes from trusting your abilities: For example, I know that I will pass this test.

Confidence is also trusting how you look. Tell yourself “When I walk into a room people notice me because I am fine.”

Self-confidence does not come from flattery or meaningless compliments because when you don’t get them, you lose confidence in yourself and the negative voices in your head start running on repeat.

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curiocaster podcast

How to be confident: Be yourself

How to be confident, the first step is having the courage to be you. This means that you understand that you are not good at everything and the things you are not good at, you get help with. For example, you are good at seeing the vision but you are not good with the details; so you hire an assistant to help you with the details.  You are still the captain of the ship, you are the master of your soul don’t let anyone else take the wheel because you lose confidence. Be confident that you are going in the right direction.

How to build confidence and self esteem: Self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-image all fall in the same bundle—about feeling good about yourself, feeling more like a winner than a loser. What gets in the way? Generally, a cause and a result: The cause is that you learned to be too self-critical, likely by having critical and unsupportive people around you. You never give yourself a break; even the smallest mistake—the burned biscuits—is another demerit and sign of your incompetence. Your expectations are impossibly high, and everything—even the biscuits—is what you’re overall competence is measured by.

Conclusion

How to be confident is always have the courage to be you. Embrace your strengths and accept your weaknesses. There is no one like you, so you better have the confidence to love yourself.

Additional Resources

How to Use Mantras to Build Self-Confidence (The Skill of Self Confidence)

 

 

How to Ask for a Raise or Anything you Want in Life.

How to, ask for a raise, a promotion, God for something, a Guy out. How to Ask for Affection or anything else you want in life.

A few weeks ago I started reading this book “The game of life and how to play” By Florence Scovel Shinn.  The title of the book caught my attention, because I have a chapter in my book Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement  called How to become a Player in the Game of life and I have a podcast episode entitled “How to win the game of life.”

So you see this topic is close to my heart.

So I started reading. The content wasn't anything I hadn’t heard before, just said in a different way. For example I am a Christian and a follower of the teaching of Jesus Christ. I have read books, listened to visionaries, my pastor and numerous other men of God quote this scripture Ask and you shall receive, knock and the door will be opened to you, seek and you shall find.  I know this, I believe this; but I had never heard said like this. “You have to make the first move”

Talk about dumbing it down!

My immediate reference was, making the first move if you want a man instead of waiting on him. How many times you just waited and waited for a man to call you or ask you out and he never made the first move and that was the end of your dream of this guy.  If you had picked up the phone and asked him out, you would have received what you wanted. Or at least you would know for sure he was not interested.

So I decided to, Ask for a raise, from God.

This is how I, asked God for a raise,  “God you are my supply. Let everything that is mine by divine right be manifested now. I ask you for a lead, I am knocking at the door, let who I seek be seeking me. Amen”

I made the first move I, asked for a raise,

And God answered immediately!

The very next day I woke up at 5 am and decided to scan my Facebook feed. I don't normally do this but I followed inspiration and did this day. I am a Realtor and a Life Coach. The day before I had marketed on my Facebook page a 12 unit multifamily commercial property. As you know Facebook algorithm records everything you post and like.

So at the top of my feed was this video of a sponsored Ad about a guy talking about how he has made $200,000,000 in four years by buying multifamily properties all over the country. I decided to comment on the post that I had a great price on this 12 unit multifamily unit in Fort Myers and asked if he invests in Florida? Not only did he respond that he is only interested in multifamily properties with over 100 units; but 5 other people responded to me for info on this deal! I only asked God for one lead! He sent me 6.

Then I got an inquiry from my original marketing post. This prospect had the most serious interest and ending up making an offer of $910,000!

Bang that is how it is done!

God is good when? All the time!!! you just need to know how to engage with God and the universal laws he has put in place.

One is these laws is, Ask and you shall receive, seek and you will find, know and the door will be opened to you.  In other words, you need to make the first move!

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How to, Ask for a Raise, or anything else you want in life eg:

  • How to Ask God for something,
  • How to ask your boss for a raise or a promotion,
  • How to ask a guy out
  • How to Ask for Affection
  1. How to, ask for a raise,or more money

A situation of lack can be changed to prosperity by changing your mindset.

If you concentrate on what you don’t have you will attract more of what you don’t have – Lack

Instead be grateful for what you have and bless it.

You can bless your pennies and have it multiplied.

The most powerful miracle in the Bible is Jesus blessing 5 loafs of bread and 5 fish and turning them into enough food to feed thousands of people with left overs.

That is a principle Jesus was demonstrating; Give thanks for what you have,  bless it and it will yield more.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Here is How to, Ask for a raise, or more money

Pray this prayer

Father I thank you for food on the table a roof over my head and health in my body.

I bless the pennies in my bank account and ask that you multiply them.

I, ask for a raise, in my job because  I give wonderful service and I deserve  wonderful pay.

Bless, and then follow your intuition. God will send you instructions on your next move.

I shared earlier how I acted on intuition and raised my pay with a Hugh real estate deal.

Never dismiss a hunch, it leads you to your divine right.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio
  1. How to, Ask or a Promotion

Adding to the last ask, Ask for a promotion, follows the law of increase because a promotion usually comes with a raise.

So the only thing I would add is faith that the promotion is yours by divine right.

Pray this prayer

Infinite spirit open the way for abundance I am a magnet for all that belongs to me by divine right. Amen

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher
  1. How, to Ask a Guy out

People like people who are most like them.

Whatever man images sooner or later externalizes in his affairs. If you like a guy before you, Ask a guy out, do the internal work so when you, Ask a guy out, he will likely say yes.

Imagine the two of you on a date, talking and laughing, and connecting.

Say “Infinite spirit open the way for the divine design of my life to manifest. The perfect plan includes love and perfect self expression.”

Then, Ask the guy out, to go to some where he likes, a ball game, dinner, a movie, networking event etc.

How, to Ask for affection, from your spouse

Love opens to man the 4th dimensional world. The world of the wondrous, the world of bliss.

  • Real love is unselfish and free from fear.
  • It pours itself out on the object of its affection without demanding any return.
  • It's joy is in the joy of giving and serving.

If the object of your affection does not return affection, it may be that he grew up in a home where he did not see his father show love to his mother or there was not a man in the home.

So you have to, Ask for affection,  if you need it.

Just say “Can I get a hug?  The world is so much brighter when I am in your arms.”

In my second marriage my husband and I made a habit of fighting and me sleeping in the spare bedroom.

One of these fights lasted over a month and I was intensely aware of how much I needed a hug or just human touch.

If you are in such a relationship where there is little touch and you need it, ask for affection,

Say “Baby can you hold me for few mins.  I am feeling the need for your touch”

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean

Love is God in manifestation and the strongest magnetic force in the universe; so don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and, ask for affection,

It draws itself to its own. Protect your love by giving and receiving affection.

Remember Jealously is the worst enemy of love.

Give a perfect love and you will receive a perfect love.

How to, Ask for Help, or a Hand Up

I know most people have a hard time, ask for help,  yet some people always have a hand out.

Practice asking for small things first to get comfortable, asking for help,

For example, practice asking your teacher to help with something you don't understand.

This question came from Erika by email.  Remember you can post your questions on this blog , on my facebook group called Life Coach, or you can email either me or Arifah. My email is info@myhelps.us and Arifah is Arifah@liftedbypurpsose.com. 

Erika asks “How do I show a guy that I like him?”

  • Pay attention to your appearance – show a little skin. I was watching this movie just a few days ago and I learned a few things from a playboy bunny. She said to show skin in 5 areas if you want to catch a man’s attention. Show cleavage, bear arms, legs, belly or mid-section and your derriere.
  • Show him how you feel with your body language.– I am a romantic movie buff. I love how the director shows that there is interest in his main characters.  Always eye contact and a smile. It heats up the screen! Miss Playboy Bunny added lightly touch him. Touch his arms, feel his muscles, brush up against him.
  • Compliment him.– This one comes so naturally to me.  I learned a long time ago to always bless everyone I meet with a compliment. Man or woman.
  • As we wrap up, I want to thank you for being with us until the end of this broadcast. Please show your support by posting a review on iTunes and subscribing to the podcast. If you have topics you would like Arifah and myself to cover,

Lifted by Purpose Provides a diverse range of services to organizations seeking training, workshops or programs with the intent to engage youth in conversations about mental health and learn practical strategies to cope with life stressors. Including:

  • Anger Management
  • Healthy Relationships
  • Mental Health Education and Coping Skills
  • Youth Engagement and
  • Mental Health First Aid Training

Sponsor this podcast: 

  • Todays episode is sponsored by  Columbus Financial Coach.  Are you in a deep hole of “Financial Depression” with nowhere to turn for help? Constantly being harassed by collection agencies? Then visit Columbus Financial and success coach. www.columbusfinancialcoach.com

 Additional Resources:

Ask Coach Myrna: How to Start Over?

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