Why Entrepreneurs Don’t Achieve Their Vision

Entrepreneurs need vision

A lot of, entrepreneurs, don't achieve their, vision, because they're working in the business, not on the business.  If you're a, small business owner, that's become the employee, and you're doing all the legwork, that means you don't have any time to become the CEO. You're just an employee. You're not looking at, vision, and you're not looking at the next steps. You're doing the legwork.

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Entrepreneurs should work on their business Not In their business

Myrna: I know that, entrepreneurs, wear a lot of hats.  I'm an, entrepreneur, and I do it all. You know what I mean? And I've always done it all. And I don't mind it. But I know that, entrepreneurs, tend to work hard in the business not working on the business. Robert Kiyosaki that if you work in your business, you are just like an employee, right, so how do you teach, entrepreneurs, to work on their business?

Curtis: A lot of, entrepreneurs, they put their heart and soul and their passion into it and work themselves into their jobs. So they went from a 40 hour a week job to an 80 hour week job because they're doing all these things. Being direct with the customers all the time. Being the one person that's collecting money, being the one person providing the service, or even if they have a team, the team doesn't do what you want them to do, so they say it's faster or easier for me to just do it myself. And you start training people to get paid for doing nothing because you're still always doing it.

Working on the business is taking a step back and looking at it. You have a business plan. Let's come up with an overall strategy, where we're trying to go, let's build the team. Let's put a budget together. Let's put, cashflow measures, in place that's going to teach us how our business is performing from a health perspective. Let's get all the measurements that we need: financial measurements, sales measurements, customer measurements and employee measurements and let start to look at the business holistically and start running it that way.

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Entrepreneurs should put systems in place

That way you start to focus more on how you get the right talent. How you move money in?  Whether you need additional capital to grow your business or not and you have a better way of seeing an entire business. But business owners that come to me are always talking about how they're trying to get to the next level and or legacy. How do I take this business and give it to my kids? Well, you're not teaching them how to run a business. We're teaching them to do all the crazy things that you do. And they don't want no part of it.

So, it's how you run a business with being with other like-minded business leaders and not working at the business every day. A good example is you walk into a McDonald's, you don't see the CEO or even the owner that McDonald's at that business you see, systems, being run by teenagers.

Myrna: Yes, we can always McDonalds model for, systems.

Curtis: If you're the, business owner, that's become the employee, and you're doing all the legwork, that means you don't have any time to become the CEO. You're just an employee. You're not looking at, vision, and you're not looking at the next steps. You're doing the legwork.

Myrna: So that's right, but, you know, a lot of times the reason that, entrepreneurs, do everything is because they don't have any money to pay people. So how do you teach them to hire people with no money to pay them?

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What's your fastest path to cash

Curtis: Yeah, and this one comes up a lot.  I ask them what's your, fastest path to cash? I recently became a business advisor for an organization where they only had just the two business partners. But they have a great product, a really great product. And so, they've spent a couple of years working with other organizations and they say, show me what's current. What's your current businesses, they had three contracts on the team.

They had two contracts that were very promising. And they had one contract that was going and lingering and I say, cut the contract that you're not going to see any cash and then focus on this cash or these two contracts. And when you do, you're going to have enough money to get your next employees, and that's exactly what they did. So, then they got the next employee and then got more contracts and then the next employee after that, and so even prior to them, getting employees we planned on who's going to be the next most effective employee to get this going to help us grow this business. And so now they have four employees.

They're growing the business, and you know, it took some time. So yeah, you got to be a, solopreneur, doing it all, but you got to find your, fastest path to cash. And think about as you get to that next level. What's the next most important person that you need to hire into your organization that's going to exponentially grow your business each time you add somebody else?

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Small business owners should add strategic employees

Myrna: So, when you're looking to add someone, you're not necessarily looking for a lay man help. You're looking for a strategic person that can help you make more money. That's a good plan.

Curtis: In this case, they needed somebody that was very, very technical, to help them build their model on an application that they can present to potential customers. So, it took their model and actually made it better for them to present and then made them more attractive. So, then the next person was a now doing all this running around. We need a project manager to help us and so again, just building off of that, and then let's get some salespeople. So, it really depends on the direction that you're going.

Myrna: Yeah, that makes sense. Instead of saying let me get a receptionist just answering the phone

Why do you think that most, entrepreneurs, don't achieve their, vision? They may have a goal of $100 million a year in sales and don't even get close.

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iHeart Radio

Sometimes the vision is monetary

Curtis: You're so right. A lot of times that, vision, is monetary and I'm okay with the, vision, being monetary. But I try to dive a little bit deeper into your why. Because your why is what's going to motivate you to even go after that number. Because one of the things I say in the book is the first million is the hardest. And the reason I'm saying that is because you don't have a, system. Once you've reached it reached a million dollars and have a system, you start working your system and improving on the, system.

So, then you get better at it. But, you know, I talk to people about, business plans. This is where I would say, my sweet spot is here, right? And that is because I'm a, project manager. I'm a planner. So, you need someone to help keep you accountable. Small business owners, one of the things I talk about is having a board of advisors, right? So, develop a strategy, develop a set of goals and targets to that $100 million. And tell me what does that look like?

  • What does it look like in terms of your customer mix?
  • Your demographics, where's your office located?
  • How many employees do you have?
  • Give me that vision that's going to be so crystal clear and that 100 million starts to look like real and then we're going to develop plans. We're going to develop plans that take us from daily, weekly, monthly and quarterly activities that service today.

Now, when I work with clients, the one thing I say is do it for a year. I don't care what happens because in our minds, when we create that, vision, we want a linear path. Everything we said we were going to do is just going to happen. That is not life. Life is going to throw you a bunch of curveballs, but you got to stick to it. I mean we do it every year right what happens in January. The gyms are full of people. They are full of people because these people have, visions, of the best bodies they can have in the summertime. And by March, the people that normally go to the gym, they're relieved because they get rid of all those people.

Myrna: I just heard a statistic that is actually worse than that. And I don't even know if I believe it. But the statistics says it most of those people that make New Year's resolution, they abandon them by Martin Luther King's birthday, and that's mid-January!

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Solopreneurs are always busy doing the wrong things

Curtis: You have to pivot. If your head is down all the time working on your business. I mean in your business. You can't work on your business by innovating and finding ways partnering with other people. So that's why it's important that if you want to grow, you have to get yourself out of your day-to-day operations.

And I know that's hard for a lot of, solopreneurs, because they always feel that they can do better than anybody and they want to do themselves. But yeah, because as a person, you've got a finite number of time.

Myrna: So, if we were to wrap what you are saying up in a bow, the reason that a lot of, entrepreneurs, don't achieve their, vision, is because they're working in the business, not on the business. They're basically they're busy doing the hamster wheel thing.

Curtis: Yes, we’ve glorify being busy. We always say how busy we are.

Myrna: That it's a badge of honor.

Curtis: Tim Ferriss had a great mix. One of the books that has inspired me, actually, about the Four-hour Workweek because it makes you start to think about how best to delegate and only focus on your value-added activities.  It's something that for me from a productivity perspective, one of the four things that I do, to implement that into my day-to-day life.

Myrna: A lot of, solopreneurs, the one man operations, they're dreaming of being on their laptops on the beach doing their work, because they don't have a brick and mortar. Tim Ferriss made that very popular. So, alright, so that's amazing, right. So now, you have developed a program called the “Realization Framework Experience.” What is that? Tell us about that?

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

The realization framework experience

Curtis: Okay, so the, realization framework experience, is five steps and the five steps are:

  • Evaluate
  • Calculate,
  • Clarify and
  • Realize

I trademark the art and science of, vision to reality. And that was actually going to be the original title of my book. I was trying to figure out how, how can I help, small business owners, learn and behave like the large business owners with an easy to follow strategies. And so we've spent a little bit of time on the first one, visualize, and that's developing a compelling, vision, that inspires others to want to become a part.

One of the biggest things when I'm coaching is I'll ask a, business leader, what their goals are?  I say does your team know what your goals are? They say no, it doesn't make sense. Because the next part is, evaluate, your business ecosystem or, evaluate, your people. Well, with the goals that you have. You look at your team, can your team help you get there? Do they have a role? Because that's what employees want. And so, you got to make sure that your employees understand where you're going, your customers understand where you're going, your suppliers understand where you're going, and anybody else in your, business ecosystem.

So, putting together the right team, evaluating the difference between your, vision, and where you are, and then figuring out whether you need to upskill people, let some people go and get some new people or add new talent.  You need a plan for getting more people to help you reach that, vision. Then we go into, calculate, and this is all about, cash flow. When I ask people about their business, and I asked them about their books and their numbers, people aren't managing their, cash flow, very well. They're living payroll and payroll, and they're comfortable in that term. So, statistically, 82% of businesses fail, small businesses in particular, because they don't understand, cash flow. If, entrepreneurs, don't understand, cash flow, they don't have enough when there's a pandemic.

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Small business owners need to calculate measurements

Then there is, clarify.  I encourage, small business owners, to hire a financial professional to help them. When I work with large companies, there's always a quarterly meeting or even monthly meetings, weekly meetings on how are we doing with Financials.  But we don't do that as, small business owners. We need to be looking at our numbers, we need to be planning forward. I do an exercise where I'm planning, cash flow. I ask Do you know what happened last week? What's gonna happen the next two weeks?  I like to work with small business owners to get to an 80% predictability, especially with income.

Expenses are easy to predict, income is harder when it's erratic. So, you want to put in systems that make an erratic, you want to put in measures to help you collect your money faster. So, it's a whole thing around, evaluate, their cash flow, but you also want to create a budget that matches not only the people that you need to bring in, but the goals you have the, vision. Now you have the people, and then you have the budget. How are you going to manage?  Do you have $1 set aside or at least plan?

You clarify this with a plan, you put together a plan that has these objectives, that has every factor in your business. Evaluate, on a daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly basis that leads up to that, vision, so that when you're looking at how well you're doing, everybody's telling you their progress on their parts, right? But you mentioned the pandemic, so I do also, risk analysis. So, people do, SWOT analysis, strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. I like, SWOT analysis.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Entrepreneurs need accountability measures

So, STEP stands for societal, technological, economical, environmental and political. So you saw our pandemic, now that you've seen one, you know that there's recessions that come inflation is here. So how are you going to behave? Let's go through some scenario planning. Let's put aside some reserves and get ourselves ready for the next disaster and that's the best insurance you can have. Right? And so, that's, that's the four steps. The first step we realize is to Component Measures, we talk about. financial measures, customer measures, employee measures, and what we're trying to get to 100 million we need to break that down.

I'll give you an example of a $5 million company that I'm working with, and you have to get sales of $96,000 a week. So, when we're having a weekly conversation, it's how are we going to get that $96,000 Some weeks are really bad. Some weeks are really good. It's not always linear, but you're driving your actions to meet that minimum.

So, the first one is measures. The second part is, accountability. We talked about this earlier. Where, small business owners, don't have, accountability measures.

You know, I advise the, small business owners, to get an advisory board not like a corporate board of directors because that it has a lot more structure and a lot more legal ramifications tied to it. But a group of people that have done this business before and or have a specialty.

You can't grow what you can't measure

Myrna: Tony Robbins, one of his sayings is that you can't grow what you don’t measure that, you know, you got to you've got to be able to measure your progress. Right. And a lot of people don't like measuring their progress. They just, fly by the seat of their pants. Putting measures in places is very good. I remember when I was in sales, my boss was always measuring my progress. I hated it!

Tell us where they can get a copy of it your book “Vision To Reality, Stop Working, Start Living” and your website.

Curtis: So, this is my second book. My first book I wrote was called “The Only Job Search Book You'll Ever Need.” And I had met with a marketing organization who's part of my marketing team now. And they started interviewing me and I thought we were talking about the next book, The career the next career. And I talked about, business coaching and they said, that's the book you should write. So, I said, Okay, so let me let me get all of this on paper. So, I started looking back at my computer files, all the people that I coached. Entrepreneurs, who won't try anything different. The ones that quit if it didn't work right away, the ones that said, I'm not going to do that.

The ones that don't trust nobody. Nobody can do this like me. So, I delved into the mindset, and basically say, hey, you gotta get out your own way.  This is hard, you don't want to give your baby to somebody or so you don’t get to develop these trust mechanisms. And so that's the first thing I do is try to develop rapport and trust with, business leaders, because I know your people have been naysaying you and telling you what you can't do and part of you believes it.

Book Vision to Reality
Book Vision to Reality

Conclusion

The second part is how can I make it easy? bridge that gap. What can I do to put a formula in place to help you and that's the remedies, right? That's the, realization framework experience, the things that are the key that business owners can do with me, to develop the muscles, right? And then they can start to believe in themselves believe in the business and just keep going and believe in other people. And then the third part is okay, now that you're here, don't backslide. Right, don't go back. Let's put some things in place. And that's when I talk about the, accountability measures, and constantly training yourself to go after the, vision.

The book is available on Amazon, Barnes and noble or wherever books are sold. My website is www.cljassoc.com

Additional Resources

When The Vision Fails: Dealing with Failure

 

 

Coach Myrna: How to Be Single

Coach Myrna: How to be single

Single means not married. If you have a boyfriend, you are single. If you are engaged, you are single. If you live with a guy, you are single.

So, what is the right way to be single?

Should you go to clubs and pick up guys for one-night stands? Should you play the algorithms from dating sites? Should you get a rule book and play the rules?
In this episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I share what you should do while prepare yourself for love.

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Movie: How to be single

I just finished watching the movie, How to be Single. The movie showcases three, single ladies.  One woman using algorithms to select her perfect mate from 10 dating sites. Her goal was to find a mate and get married 18 months after meeting her man.

The second woman chose to sleep with strange men and have no meaningful connection with any of these men. To her sex was just a bodily function like peeing.

The 3rd woman didn’t want to be, single, so she slept with men hoping it would lead to something, but the timing was always wrong. She kept meeting men who were emotionally unavailable or wanted to play the one-night stand game. In the end she decided that it was great being alone and doing her own thing. She even either purchased or made her own contraption to pull down her zipper!

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Podbay FM

Single ladies are looking but not finding single men

I am sure most of the women listening to this podcast are not married, because it seems to be the culture. Everybody is looking but nobody is finding.

Also, it may seem condescending but let me share the definition of, single. Single, means not married. If you have a boyfriend, you are, single. If you are engaged, you are, single. If you live with a guy, you are, single.

So, what is the right way to be single?

Should you go to clubs and pick up guys for one-night stands? Absolutely not. I don’t know who started that trend. Probably the same person who made up the name whore. Sex should be a very personal and intimate experience. Everybody you have sex with leaves a part of themselves behind. Hollywood needs to stop promoting promiscuity. It is definitely not the way to be, single.

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Single Ladies Throw out the rule book

Should, single ladies, have rules like Steve Harvey's 90-day rule?  In the movie “Think Like a Man” one, single, woman decided that her cookie did not come out of the cookie jar until after 90 days.  So, she told her date this number and he was game to wait it out because now her cookie was something he wanted. Something interesting happened along the way. He started to like her and called her his girlfriend.

That was exactly why, Steve Harvey, gave this advice. The longer you wait to have sex, the man has time to get to know you as a girlfriend.  I interviewed a relationship coach on the show the episode was called “What do men want” he says that as soon as you sleep with a man his emotional connection stops growing. So, the longer you keep sex off the table, the more his feelings for you grows.

Some, single ladies, subscribe to the theory that sex before marriage ruins a marriage. We can always find the extremes. The trick to being, single, is to find out what works for you. If you want the, girlfriend experience,  I suggest you get to know the man before you introduce sex in the relationship.

Transform Your Mind podcast curiocaster podcast
curiocaster podcast

How to be Single

I believe this is, how to be single:

  • Enjoy your own company by learning how to be alone without being lonely.
  • Getting to know yourself, your real likes and dislikes, what makes you happy. When there is no one around to please, you please yourself, you do more self-care. You go to the gym, not to meet men, but to improve yourself.
  • Prepare yourself so you will be ready when your soul mate shows up.

You are in the meantime space.

Tune in next week as we talk about what to do while you are waiting for love.

Conclusion

This is life coach Myrna Young, and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. Thanks for listening. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources 

How to Find your Soulmate

 

Is the Mind in the Brain?

Dr Verny: The mind brain connection

Neuroscientists think of the, mind, as an epiphenomenon of the, brain. In other words, it's a function of the, brain.  Just like urine is a function of the kidneys, or bile is a function of the gallbladder. I think that the, mind, is a function of the whole body because all of these cells work together. We have never been able to locate the mind or consciousness in the brain.

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Bio

Dr. Thomas R. Verny is a clinical psychiatrist and the author of eight books, including The Secret Life of the Unborn Child, which was published in 27 countries and 47 scientific papers. He has previously taught at Harvard University, the University of Toronto, York University (Toronto), and St. Mary’s University

His book “The Embodied Mind” is a profoundly important synthesis revealing how cells utilize consciousness to not only manifest their life functions but more importantly, to create a distributed nervous system that coordinates and supports life-sustaining behavior in multicellular communities, such as those comprising the human body.

Myrna: How did your work with the, embodied mind, start?

Dr Verny: I wrote a paper on everything that I knew about, prenatal life. And there was a huge conference in Rome, Italy, the Fifth World Congress and psychosomatic Obstetrics and Gynecology, and I submitted a paper and lo and behold, I mean luck sometimes is really important in life. My paper was accepted. I was like a totally unknown young psychiatrist from Toronto. It was put on the same morning as some of the biggest lights in psychosomatic obstetrics in the world we're presenting their papers.

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The Secret life of the unborn child

I was right up there with all the luminaries, and I got 20 minutes to speak. I noticed within 10 minutes into my talk, that there was tremendous interest in the audience about what my topic The Secret Life of the Unborn Child.” You could just feel electricity in the air. And so, I said at the end of my lecture, I said, well, if anybody here would like to continue the conversation, please come to my room at five o'clock.

And at five o'clock, huge numbers of people were lined up.  They thought that I was promoting some new ways of looking at, prenatal life. That's when I made up my mind to write the book, which then became two years later, The Secret Life of the Unborn Child. We were taught in school that's impossible to remember when you were in the womb, your nervous system is not mature enough to be working in the womb. I wrote the book, and it is based on very solid research that shows that from six months after, conception, the nervous system is mature enough to be able to lay down some, pretty simple, primitive memories, and there's lots of research to back that up.

I could prove this; the evidence was solid was scientific. That children from the age of six months after, conception, would be able to remember things that happened to them in the womb. I had this patient who was able to go back further in time, back to three months after, conception, and some people even carry information from their parents’ experiences. Big traumas, like drowning or being in a war or things like that. So, I asked myself, how is this possible?  How can I show this to be scientifically true? Because I was not interested in a lot of stories, I was interested in science.

The book The Secret Life of the unborn child was published in 1982, that's a long time ago. So, seven years ago, I came across information on the, embodied mind. It's ridiculous to think of the, brain, as kind of separate from the body and not being connected to the rest of the body. And so, what I've come to see is that the cells in the body, the tissues, the organs, like the heart, especially, but also the guts. They all act as kind of a backup system to the, brain. And so, when something goes wrong with the, brain. We still have our backup system just like the iCloud.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

The gut is a backup system of the brain

Myrna: I think I'm getting where you're going with this now. Go ahead.

Dr Verny: So, when something goes wrong with the, brain, the backup system comes online, right. What neurologists say we're sort of your orthodox conservative. Biologist neuroscientists will say that other systems in the, brain, take up the slack. But there is no research to prove that at all. There's no evidence to show that.  In my book, The Embodied Mind, I bring up a lot of research evidence to show that the cells in the cells in the body are really not much different from neurons in the, brain. And so, they have, all the elements that the neurons in the, brain, have, except that they're connected a little bit differently.

We have stressed the importance of the, brain, over the importance of the rest of the body. It also goes with our culture, which is very patriarchal, and hierarchical. And as a result of that, the emphasis is always underneath the head honcho supervisor.

Myrna:  How did you get them to access that memory? Did you use, hypnosis?

Dr Verny: I have used, hypnosis, once in a while. Never really terribly successful. People did that all on their own without any help from me? In a sense, some kind of a memory would come up, something would trigger that memory. It would it was not instituted by me. Sometimes people you know, after the, Secret Life of the Unborn Child, was published, sometimes people would come to me and asked me to take them there. And I would do that, again, in a very sort of non-directive fashion. I would say things like, what is the first memory that you have in your life?

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

What your earliest memory can you go back to the womb?

Myrna: My earliest memory was at five years old. I don't go back any further than that. I don't think.

Dr Verny: You probably could. Some of your listeners can try asking 2.5- to 4-year-old kids if they remember being in the womb. Don’t ask any leading questions. Just what do you remember? What was it like?

Myrna: And that's amazing. My grandson is almost 2 years old.  I can’t wait to ask him.  What I think what I'm hearing you say it is that it's a backup for your main brain. So how does that work?

Dr Verny: The, gut, has been referred to as the second brain and there's good things good reason for that. The, gut, has got a tremendous number of neurons in it. And it creates some very important substances such as, serotonin, for example, which is very important in terms of in terms of how you feel. People with, depression, for example, are supposed to have less, serotonin. And one of the reasons that they are depressed is because they lack, serotonin. Most people don't realize that most of the, serotonin, in the body is actually produced in the dark.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

The vagus nerve has 2-way communication to the brain

So, we have the, vagus nerve, which is that ends cranial nerves. Then we have 12 nerves coming out of our, brain. And number 10 the, vagus nerve, is the most important one because it goes to the heart and from the heart, it also goes to the, gut.

Myrna: I try to simulate the, vegas nerve, every day when I do my meditation.

Dr Verny: Think of the, vagus nerve, as sort of from the, embodied brain, to the heart from the heart to the, gut, but you hardly ever also the steps the other way, you know, traffic along the route from the duct to the heart to the to the, brain. So, but then again, you know, we have the bad circulation, and the blood is in contact with all the cells in our bodies. So, when we talk about the second brain, it's really inaccurate, because it's just another organ in the body that stimulates the, brain, and the rest of the body.

I like to I will give you a metaphor that perhaps best describes how I sort of picture the body working. I think it's a very large orchestra, like let's say, you know, the New York symphony. Let's say more than 120 musicians, one conductor. So, each musician plays an instrument and most of the instruments are different. But the person sitting in the audience does not hear 120 instruments. A person in the audience hears one sound one sound emanating from the symphony. That's how our memories are. That's how our, brain, works. But instead of having 120 instruments, we have 120 billion.

Myrna: Deepak Chopra and a few other scientists, says that the, mind, is not in the, brain. Let's talk about that for a minute, where is the mind?

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Is the mind in the brain?

Dr Verny: Where's the mind? Yeah. Yes, again, conservative academic, neuroscientists think of the, mind, as an epiphenomenon of the, brain. In other words, it's a function of the, brain.  Just like urine is a function of the kidneys, or bile is a function of the gallbladder, right? Any normal person if they think about this analogy, they can see that it's a mistaken analogy, because the, mind, is not like urine. You know, you can't see it. You can’t measure it, quantify it, you can’t research on it. It's like beauty, or love. You cannot quantify it. It's a whole different phenomenon.

So, to say that the, mind, is a function of the brain doesn't make sense. I think that the, mind, is a function of the whole body because all of these cells work together. We have never been able to locate the mind or consciousness in the brain. There are some very interesting studies of Near-Death Experiences. Perhaps you have heard of those.

Myrna: Yeah, I read a few plus interviewed several on the show.

Dr Verny: So, very often you will have people who will have died, even for all intensive purposes. I actually experienced that with a patient when I was working in a hospital and, his heart stopped beating. I put a vial of adrenaline directly into the heart. About two minutes later, he came back, so to speak, and then he described in great detail what had happened in the room.

Myrna: Apparently, you're supposed to have left your body and you're watching it all. Someplace up here, right.

Dr Verny: Exactly, there is no explanation except to say that the, mind, is definitely not dependent on the body, but independent of it. The mind may very well be one of those elements of the universe like gravity or electrical charges, which have always been here and kind of borrowed from it in some way. You know, we have a tiny bit of that, embodied mind, that exists out there. And it's so certainly, you know, is connected to the body, but it also in some ways is independent of the body.

Book: The Embodied Mind
Book: The Embodied Mind

The embodied mind

And so, that's the reason I called my book “The embodied Mind”, because it's not just the skull mind. Okay? It's not just in the, brain, not just in the head, it’s in the old total body, and who knows what happens after we die. It may persist and who knows?

Myrna: I'm reading your work and I see that you also kind of like equated the mind to the matrix. You're in this alternate universe where, things are happening in the matrix. So, let's say that, someone is listening to this conversation. So, we've got the brain and we've got the body. We've got a backup system. So how can they use this information to transform their lives?

Dr Verny: I think that's a very good question. There are many answers to that question. One of them is that the, mind, is incredibly powerful. And we just don't appreciate how important the, mind, is. Let me let me just give you a very simple example. There was a study done, it's mentioned in my book by a Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer. And it's a very simple study, and it's just so beautiful. She studied hotel maids in New York, and she divided them into two groups of 41. One group, she said that the work that they do, actually follows and lives up to the Surgeon General's recommendations for daily exercise. There work was like exercise, like some people go to the gym, but you work, it's the same thing.

The other group was told something quite different. At the end of at the end of 30 days, they measured all kinds of measurements on these maids. They found that the group that believed that they were exercising lost weight, they decreased waist to hip ratio, and they had a 10% drop in blood pressure. And they did nothing different from the other group. They only believed that they exercising. Now the same thing you know, happens in placebos.  You can tell someone that this pill is going to take your headaches away. And it does, you know, nine times out of 10.

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What you believe in your mind you create in your body

Myrna: Yeah, and as a psychiatrist, you also know the fact that belief is so important. Now someone coming in sitting on your couch and believes something, regardless of if it's true or not, that's how their body and their, mind, and their world is going to respond.

Dr Verny: Right, in terms of practical advice, it's very important for people to change their attitude towards their own bodies and towards themselves. You know, there are, unfortunately, a lot of people around with low self-esteem. There are a lot of people around who have been criticized as children. I just saw a patient yesterday. You know, and he was always very enthusiastic.

And sometimes he would if the teacher would ask a question, he would speak out without putting up his hand and we would be punished for that. Instead of a good teacher would say, Yeah, okay, that's very good. But perhaps next time you could put up your hands. Instead of that, you know, he was put down so now you know, even when he goes shopping, he's afraid that somebody might ask him a question. He might not be able to come up with the right answer. I mean, he's just full of anxieties.

Myrna: Wow, such a simple thing like that has a far-reaching consequences.

Dr Verny: My advice is, be honest. Look in the mirror and look at yourself. And if you find that there are certain things you don't like about yourself, well face that and make it better, improve it. Don't go around trying to cover up That's not the way to do it. Get it out of your system. Find out why you think that you are not beautiful or that you are not clever or whatever your negative beliefs are. Get rid of them. Talk to your friends, ask them why they like you. And, and you will be you will be astonished what they say.

Myrna: Yeah, because you never see your strengths yourself.

Dr Verny: So when you get that kind of a feedback, then perhaps you can start believing in it. And if you believe in it, well then you will become it.

Conclusion: The embodied mind

Myrna: Okay, this is a good point to talk about your book. It is called “The Embodied Mind: Understanding the Mysteries of Cellular Memory, Consciousness and our Bodies.” So, tell our listeners about your book, tell them where they can pick it up. Pick up a copy, talk about your website. And what do you want people to walk away with after reading your book.

Dr Verny: Will they can pick up my book on Amazon. My website is www.TRVernyMD.com. It's a very rich book because I read above 5000 books and journals in preparation for that book. And it has actually 500 references in the back of the book scientific references. So, it has a tremendous amount of information in there and at the end of each chapter, you have, practical sort of takeaways.

But I think the most important feature is just to develop a respect for your, mind, and how powerful it is and how it can influence every particle, every cell in your body, how you think about yourself, is very important. And also, you know, interacting with other people. touching other people is very important. You know, the hug a day keeps the doctor away, as far as I'm concerned.

So, I think those things are really important and, and to realize how important also the, gut bacteria, are because every day we are learning more and more about the importance of the, gut bacteria, for example, just one more thing. People take antidepressants when they're depressed. 1/3 of patients do not benefit from antidepressants. The reason they don't benefit is there's nothing wrong with the drugs. They're pretty good drugs, actually, but some people have bacteria in their gut which destroy those particular antidepressants, and so they don't work.

Additional Resources

4 Techniques to Outsmart Your Brain

 

 

Your Struggle is Part of Your Story

Your Struggle is Your Story

Your, struggle, started before you were born. Your mama acted that way because of her story, your father won’t have walked away if he didn’t also have a story. Your shift started the day you were born but it is not the day your, story, started.

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Marilyn Monroe's story of struggle

I just finished watching the Netflix film called Blondie the, Marilyn Monroe story. Marilyn’s, story, is the perfect, back story, for my message today. Her, story, started way before she was born.  Her parents met and had a baby.  Both of them were messed up.  Her father walked away, and her mother blamed, Norma Jean, for her father walking away.  The fact that the father walked away contributed to her mental health and what did she do, she abused, Norma Jean, because that is what adults do when they are hurting, they hurt the defenseless.

What was her father’s, story? Why did he walk away and abandon his child at conception and never looked back.  In the, story, there was a fire and the mother attempted to drive through the fire to get to the father’s house in Hollywood which tells me he was not without means. Yet he walked away from his daughter and never looked back.  What was his, story? It probable started with his parents.

The movie showed Norma Jean, Marilyn Monroe, looking for her father her entire life until her death. Parents do so much damage to kids. Norma Jean’s struggled in life even though she was the most successful movie star in history. They are still writing about her and talking about her 3 decades after her death.

She never knew her father and her mother was mentally ill and abused her, even tried to drown her. She struggled her entire life because of the shift she took over from messed up parents. She was the most beautiful woman, men all over the world wanted even Presidents, yet she had no value for herself.

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Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

Lack of love in our childhood contribute to struggle

The fact that her father did not love her, she let men abuse her.  I am not a psychiatrist, but I would guess because she felt unlovable.  She had no self-worth. So, she made an impact on this world, but never found personal happiness in it. She lived her life to make men happy, make movie producers happy and everyone else.  When she started falling apart, they gave her drugs so she could continue making movies.

So, are you in a story of, struggle? Do you see yourself anywhere in Marilyn’s, story? I want to let you know that you were set in your situation by circumstances that happened before your birth, you are not to blame for your story.

Your birthday isn’t your start day it’s just the day when your shift started.

You have to fight someone else’s battle, that’s why generational curses are real. In my church whenever the pastor baptizes a baby, he cancels all generational curses.

Let’s say that your grandparents dabbled in witchcraft or even belonged to a Lodge, you inherited their sins and curses. It is up to you to repent for the sins of your forefathers and walk a straight and narrow path.  If you don’t repent for their sins the sins of the father and mother is passed on to the 3 and 4 generation.

You need to declare and decree that victory is going to happen on your shift. The buck stops here.

Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Samuel's struggle in a barren temple

In the bible story of, Samuel, the prophet, God took, Samuel, from the barrenness of his mother’s womb to the barrenness of a temple to prepare him to become a prophet. Sometimes your, struggle, is preparing you for your purpose and destiny. Sometimes you have to wander in the wilderness until you get to the promised land.

So, how do you, rewrite your story, of, struggle, to one of abundance and flow? You have to shake things up, get out of your routine. When you are comfortable just existing, you don’t get revelation. Nothing happens when you are in your comfort zone, if you want to move the needle from, struggle, to flow, you have to get out of your, comfort zone.

That is the only way you will hear the voice of God when he calls you. In the darkness of the night God speaks. God shows up in your barren places and calls you by name.

When God called, Samuel, in the middle of the night, Samuel, didn’t recognize it was God because he had never spoken to him before. Learn to hear God’s voice by being in constant communication with him.

Conclusion to struggle

In conclusion, if you are in, struggle, at the moment understanding that you are just continuing the, story, that started before you were born is the way out. You need to change the, story, because then your children and your children’s children will continue the, struggle.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. Praying for flow and abundance for you. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

Your Pain Reveals Your Purpose

Benefits and Drawbacks of Keto and Paleo Diets

Risa Groux: Benefits of Keto and Paleo diet

Almost everybody should be eating a, Paleo diet, It's very safe and you could do it long term. It's how I eat and really it goes down to the Paleolithic times. With the, Paleo diet, you can have unlimited vegetables. And so, you're eating the philosophy of when we were created.

The, keto diet, stands for, ketogenic, and it's basically getting the body in the state of, ketosis. When we are in the state of, ketosis, it basically changes our fuel source from carbohydrates to fat.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11545137-the-benefits-and-drawbacks-of-popular-diets.mp3?download=true

Bio

Risa Groux, CN is a Functional Nutritionist and Certified Autoimmune Coach and author of FOODFRAME: Diet is a Four-Letter Word .  She has always been passionate about nutrition and good health. Risa was so concerned about purity that she made her children’s baby food from scratch. Today she is passionate about cooking and creating healthy, nutritious food. She works with a wide array of clients from professional athletes, adults, and kids to the Biggest Loser from season four.

Risa works with issues like diabetes, autoimmune disease, cancer, digestion, thyroid, and hormone imbalances, to name a few. Risa firmly believes that the body can heal itself with whole foods we obtain from the earth and sees living proof of that in her office each day. She looks at root causes using functional nutrition guidelines, blood and stool tests, and knows that, weight loss, is a side effect of wellness.

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Diet and weight loss

We have to understand the root causes of, weight loss.  Why is it that we have headaches, right? It's not because we have a deficiency in Tylenol, right? Why do we have high cholesterol? Why do we have constipation? Why do we have depression, whatever it is anxiety, there's a root cause to that it's not because we have this deficiency and mitigation. We're born with that.

Myrna: Are you saying that, weight loss, can always be linked back to our, diet, and what we are eating?

Risa: Not necessarily always what you're eating, but what you're eating is definitely hindering or helping, okay? So, if there could be a pathogen in your gut, there could be blood sugar dysregulation, there could be, low thyroid, all of these things. Where food absolutely is contributing to the growth of it or to the reverse of it. I'm always looking at those root causes. That's why I do extensive blood tests and stool tests, because I want to know what's going on. I'm not really good at guessing. I don’t play darts with the lights off.

That's what we they do in conventional medicine, not, functional nutrition. So, we're looking at, in addition to root causes, we're looking for prevention, because in allopathic medicine, we look at our reference ranges, they get wider and wider and wider. I say to people all the time, you've got this raging fire in the basement, your doctor might give you a little squirt gun or you might be trying it with a squirt gun yourself, but I've had to bring in the hose and get that fire out because if we have a fire in the basement, we're gonna hold on to all of our resources.

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What we eat is either helping or hindering weight loss

The body is not going to give it up because it may need it in the future. Right? It's like I always say to people, you've got a raging fire in the basement, but somebody is on the second floor saying can you help me change the light bulb? Why I got this fire and you're happy to change the light bulb once again. That's another consideration is how much of a fire do you have? Right? What is making you not lose the, weight. So those are what we look at and, in my office.

I look at two foundational issues. One is, systemic inflammation. As I mentioned, that is the driver of disease we know that for sure with COVID people going into third stage, inflammation. The second is, gut health, and, gut health, is extraordinarily important.

In addition to some, inflammation, one is blood sugar dysregulation which we you know, I test for, insulin resistance, and most allopathic doctors do not test for that. So, I'm looking at a C peptide and a fasting insulin in addition to the C and glucose. So that's number one is if you have insulin resistance, it's very difficult for, weight loss. Number two thyroid dysregulation that is our metabolism. Our temperature gauge, it's how we burn up fat and tells me why you are not able to lose weight.

The third marker for, weight loss, is cortisol, that is the stress hormone, right. So, stress really does drive up, cortisol, we will not lose weight when we have high, cortisol, or really low, cortisol, for that matter, either. And then for you've just named it, sex hormone, imbalance. That's a huge reason why we can't, lose weight.

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Toxins prevent weight loss

The fifth we can’t, lose weight, is an overload of, toxins. So that's why I'm big on, detoxing. I do a detox all the time. I just had a detox shake just now. I'm always, detoxing, and it's really important because we are inundated with chemicals. The FDA in America. This is a brand-new number. I hate to report it. We have been approved for 86,000 chemicals.

Myrna: Well, let's spend a little time there. So how do you, detox, or how do you suggest that people, detox?

Risa: So, let me just give you some more stats there that 86,000, toxins.  Over 3000 of which are foods that we can eat right? And let me just tell you that Europe just came out with a list of 1600 chemicals that they banned just for their cosmetics. At the same time, the US banded 11, so we have, toxins, everywhere. They're in our makeup, they're in our clothes, they're in our paint. They're in our furniture, they're in our food. They're in our cosmetics, they're in our sunscreen in our shampoos or conditioners, our Perfume is, toxins.

But, detoxing, the right way is really important when, toxins, come into the system, the liver kind of deciphers.  If it is an enzyme, typically even if it's a, toxin, that goes to an enzyme, it goes out that's great, but if it isn't, it gets stored in fat tissues and fat cells. This is why we, lose weight, when we, detox. But, toxins, do a tremendous amount of damage. It stays in the intestinal lining, where they get reabsorbed all day over and over and over again. And one of the markers that we look for on blood tests is called the homocysteine and that tells us if you're able to, detoxify, your own heavy metals and your own, toxins, so really important to look at that marker as well.

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Detoxify your liver to aid weight loss

But I, detox, probably three times a year. I have a lot of people in my office who do it four times a year even if you just did it twice here, you'd be way better off than not doing it at all. But I have my own, detox products, which your listeners have 10% off the detox for three months after it drops. Use coupon code Transform10 at Functional Certified Nutritionist | Risa Groux Nutrition You're drinking collagen shakes filled with amino acids and antioxidants that help open up pathways one and two. And then you're eating real foods, you're eating animal protein, you're eating unlimited vegetables, sweet potatoes, yams, and some good fats, eggs, nuts, seeds, olives, avocados.

Myrna: Okay, so that's awesome. But yeah, you probably hit the nail on the head regarding my, weight loss, issues. I haven't detoxed in a long time.

Risa: So yeah, let me tell you the philosophy that drove me to write this book. I've been doing what I do for many years. And I started to do their blood labs. And I realized that everybody is different. If you have low blood sugar, you're going to eat very differently than somebody who has high blood sugar. If you have thyroid, you're going to eat very different than somebody who doesn't have your autoimmune same thing. So, what I started to gather is that we should all be eating according to our health status.

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Benefits and drawbacks of the Keto Diet

Lot of books come out and tells us this is what to eat, some say go on the, low lectin diet, it works for a lot of people, but it doesn't work for everybody. And same thing with, keto diet. Keto, is great for a lot of people, but not everybody. I personally couldn't get into the state of, ketosis. I kept trying and trying and I just couldn't get into, ketosis, without exogenous health. So, I didn't want to do that. People who don't have gallbladders should not be doing, keto. People who have a lot of adrenals cortisol production stress do not do well on, keto.

Women typically don't do well on, keto. So, I'll start with, keto. I broke this down and created my, Foodframe method. And that is why I wrote the book, because I think it's so important that not one size fits all. Keto, is not this new diet type that is going to be the miracle. It might be for some but not for everybody.

Myrna: Well, let me ask your question right there because, I wasn't aware that, nutritionists, take blood. So, you're testing your clients, and then you're deciding on a nutritional plan for them. Is that only with, functional nutritionists, or, nutritionists?

Risa: I don't know other conventional nutritionists or dietitians who take blood, but I do I order blood labs and stool tests because I don’t like guessing.

So, then I know right? I know if you have H Pylori, or if you have Giardia or you have Candida or you have parasites, how do we know that we've got a fire in the basement ongoing?  So, keto, stands for, ketogenic, and it's basically getting the body in the state of, ketosis. When we are in the state of, ketosis, it basically changes our fuel source. Everybody is born to have a fuel source from carbohydrates, sugar, carbs are turned into sugar and the pancreas to pumps that insulin.  It creates that insulin and that insulin converts that sugar or carbohydrate and puts it into converts into glycogen puts it in the cell and it's used for energy.

ATP is what we make from the, mitochondria, within the cell. This is difficult for people who have insulin resistance. I mean, it's good for people who have blood sugar issues, because it helps, but when you go into the state of, ketosis, you're changing that fuel source from a carbohydrate to fat. So, you have very, little carbohydrates and I mean less than 20 net carbs in a day, which is low, and maybe 5% of your diet is in carbohydrates. All foods have carbohydrates except for animal protein and fats like oils. Olives are really low. And so, what happens is your fuel source, you're starting to create, ketones, we would see, ketones, in your urine. That means you're burning fat for fuel, and it's great for that person. Most men do really well with, keto, not all women do well with, keto.

Myrna: My husband does, ketosis, with intermittent fasting. He has lost over 30 lbs on this, keto diet.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Testing for the state of ketosis

Risa: Yeah, so that's a perfect person for the, keto diet. Women don't do as well.  But again, this is not something I would recommend if you don't have a gallbladder and don’t any fat malabsorption issues.  If you have a lot of stress, it may not work for you either, but I would recommend getting a, urine stick, so you can check it every morning to see if you're in the, state of ketosis.

Myrna: And let's stop there for a minute. So, you can get a, urine stick, and check for, ketosis?

Risa: Yep, at Walgreens or CVS? That's what I did is, I would pee on the, urine stick, every morning to see if I'm in the, state of ketosis.

Myrna: Yeah, that's beautiful. That's a great tip. Thank you.

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Podbean

Benefits and drawbacks of the Paleo diet

Risa: So almost everybody should be doing, Paleo, rather and you can be doing it. It's very safe. You could do it long term. It's how I eat and really it goes down to the Paleolithic times. And so, you're eating the philosophy of when we were created. We ate animal protein as clean quality as possible because there's another source of, toxins. We have a lot of, growth hormones, and antibiotics in our meats. And then our chickens are just eating just grains and things that they're not supposed to be eating and they weren't born to eat, and our fish is farmed and filled with chemicals also.

So, it's really important to eat good quality. With the, Paleo diet, you can have unlimited vegetables. Any way you want them except for deep fried. We make a couple exceptions like no corns, peas or string beans really very often. We take out legumes, we take out grains, we take out dairy, we take out sugar and processed foods. So, you're having sweet potato, yams, good fats very similar to my, detox. My detox is very, Paleo.  It's really the easiest one to do. You can stay on it long term, and you're really removing the high carb foods and the inflammatory foods, bread, sugar, dairy, alcohol, you can have a little bit of alcohol on, Paleo diet, like tequila, gin, vodka, things like that. No beer.

Myrna: One of my sponsors Greenchef set me up with, Paleo recipes. And I've been I've been cooking, Paleo, but I don't know much about the, Paleo diet.

Risa: Benefits of, Paleo diet, is to decrease that, systemic inflammation, and increase good, gut health. So, it has a lot of fiber, which is really good for the microbiome. For general good diversity and, gut health. We're removing the sugar are the dairy, the grains and the legumes. I'll get into that a little later. We talked about, lectins, but they're hard to digest.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Drawbacks of the Vegan diet

If you don't have enough digestive enzymes in the system, you're gonna have a hard time breaking down, and they're also filled with tons of carbohydrates. I am a former, vegan, myself and I lived on beans, specifically a little bit of grains but not much and my blood sugars I just watched it go through the roof. I was almost pre diabetic. And it was just because I was eating so many beans at every meal. Lentils and garbanzo beans and hummus and black beans.

Myrna: I gained 3 lbs in the last 2 weeks because I was eating beans and oats!

In my book, I go in great detail with this such different types of, vegetarians and the, vegan, diet.  Vegetarians, are eating Bread and Oreos, French fries, Cokes. You know, these are all vegetarian foods, but they are not good for us. They're processed foods, so you can fall into that trap of processed diet. And occasionally I do meet a real, vegetarian, who actually eats vegetables, but they have to have some protein soy.  So again, there's the beans and the grains, nuts and the seeds. So, vegan, is not something I recommend for everyone.  I really don't recommend eating vegetarian or, vegan, for most people. But I do recommend eating a lot of plants food no matter what, because we were born to eat plants.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Autoimmune Protocol Diet is Paleo without nightshade

The, autoimmune protocol diet, is fairly restrictive. It's an elimination diet. So, it's 30 to 90 days and I wouldn't recommend if you have one or two or more autoimmune, you go for 90 days as best you can. It's very restrictive. It's the, paleo diet, however we're removing, nightshade vegetables. So that's tomatoes, potatoes, opportunities except for sweet potato and yams, eggplant and peppers of any kind.

So, anything but black pepper, soy, paprika, red peppers, and you know jalapenos and then and goji berries and then we're moving on nuts, seeds, eggs, so it is very restrictive. They bring it a little bit of fruit, but very little berries a little bit of apple things like that. But it's pretty restrictive. And the whole point is to quell the, inflammation, that's driving these antibodies that are causing that cytokine storm.

Myrna: I'll circle back, so you're saying that the foods that you remove are foods that contribute to, inflammation?

Risa: if you have, autoimmune disease, nightshade vegetables, are foods that are high in, lectins, which we'll get to next. But, lectins, can cause inflammation. Yes.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Nightshade vegetables can cause leaky gut

Myrna; Dr. Steven Gundry has been talking about, lectins, and how these things go through your intestinal lining of your stomach, and you shouldn't eat them? And I listen and I'm thinking why are tomatoes bad? But you're just saying exactly the same thing, I don't eat eggplant.  I'm allergic to it. What are some of the, nightshade vegetables, again, I know there's tomatoes what else?

Risa: Tomatoes, all kinds of potatoes except sweet potato and yams, different family eggplant, and peppers, any kind of pepper except for black pepper. So, Gundry he endorsed my book. He's on the cover of my book. I'm doing his podcast actually in a couple of weeks. But he is actually right and all the research he did about, lectins. Lectins, basically, you know we all as human living organisms, we all have a defense mechanism, right?

If we're being attacked, humans, we can kick bite, scream, flee, call 911 right plants don't have that ability. So, what they have is what I call a hard candy around them and it's around the germ or the seed. So, they say, I want to just survive and procreate, just like humans, right? Those are two main goals for the organisms. And so, they have this protective coating.

Now if you have a very acidic stomach, you have enough digestive enzymes in your gut, you're going to be able to break, lectins, down. But even if you break those down, those, lectins, can cause a lot of, inflammation, especially somebody with a, leaky gut. So, Dr Gundry talks about a lot about, leaky gut, and I'm trying to I always try to explain it to people because we only have one layer of epithelial cells in the intestinal lining, just one and we have some villi there protecting it. But once you damage that layer, we have poke holes called tight junctions. And Gluten is a great helper to open up those tight junctions causing, leaky gut, and then next thing we've got food intolerances and, inflammation.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

What is a leaky gut?

Myrna: Can you explain what's bad about a, leaky gut.

Risa: So, you don't want a, leaky gut, because things are going through stress, toxins, food particles, organ malfunctions, bread, sugar, dairy and alcohol are all going through and causing your body to go in the state of, inflammation, and cause food sensitivities not food allergies, but food sensitivities. And if you do that long enough, you'll create an, autoimmune disease, right? The antibodies are created so it's got a place to it's got to park itself, organ gland or tissue. So, for fibromyalgia, it's your muscles. If it's rheumatoid arthritis, it's your joints.

So, you don't want antibodies passing through your gut, you don't want, autoimmune diseases. So that's why you don't want a, leaky gut. Also, it just impairs everything, brain fog, I mean, it goes on and on digestive issues, things like that.

Your FODMAP is an acronym and it stands for fermentable, oligo, saccharides, disaccharide, disaccharides, monosaccharides and polyols. And in plain English, that means different types of carbohydrates that cause a lot of gas production. This is what happens if you have, IBS irritable bowel syndrome, which is basically a non-diagnosis for some, inflammation.  I find out on the stool tests how much you have, but if you have inflammation in the intestinal lining, you either have IBS or IBD irritable bowel disease, or SIBO, which I test people for which is small intestinal bacterial overgrowth and that is constant chronic bloating, and it's paired with either chronic diarrhea or chronic constipation.

 

The FODMAP diet

So we'll have either of those three, that is something that I recommend doing low, FODMAP, so these are carbohydrates that absorb water, and they tend to make you bloat and they create a in house, cellulite. It helps muscle it helps on hair, skin and nails. It helps joint pain. I have probably two servings of collagen every single day. It's really good. It's a great protein source and very low in carb, protein, fat and fiber. I started with coconut milk; I had coconut cream.  I used it today, I had my chocolate collagen plus, which has the amino acids and antioxidants to help open up those detox pathways. And then I put some fiber in so I put in today I put in hemp seeds and spinach. So usually, I do a seed and a green and it is very, very filling, takes through the distance, your body doesn't need anything else.

Myrna: Where can we pick up a copy of Foodframe: Diet is a Four-Letter Word? Your website, your Instagram handle and how people can get a hold of you for this amazing information that you're given.

Book FoodFrame diet is a four-letter word
Book: FoodFrame Diet is a Four-Letter Word

Conclusion

Risa: Thank you. I recommend everybody find out what their foodframe is and you can take the quizzes, only 12 questions on my website risagrousnutrition.com. There you will find my book, there you will find my course, how to achieve optimal thyroid health, there you will find tons of articles and my product line, my detox, my collagen, and collagen plus that's more the detox collagen. After you're done with the, detox, you can stay on that for more liver detoxification. And then a plethora of other supplements. I have I have these amazing collagen bars that are delicious chocolate bars that are only eight net carbs and they're great. I have one almost every day.

My Instagram is @risagrouxnutrition. My tick tock and Facebook are the same. I work with people all over the world. We do advise on zoom. So, anybody's welcome to make an appointment. And we'll order labs. We'll send you a stool test at your home and then we'll have you go to your local lab for blood work and then we'll just watch you heal and, lose weight.

Additional Resources

How Ketogenic Diet Helps Reverse Diabetes

 

The Secret to Manifesting the Life of your Dreams

How to manifest the life of your dreams

Every successful person first dreamed of success. But not everyone who, dreams, of success becomes successful. Success leaves clues.

In this episode I want to share with you the secrets of making your, dreams, a reality.

We are going to look at 6 well known celebrities and see if we can find the secrets to manifesting the, life of your dreams.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11531252-the-secret-to-manifesting-the-life-of-your-dreams.mp3?download=true

How O.J Simpson manifested the life of his dreams

O.J Simpson, was a young boy who was born into poverty in a rundown section of San Francisco. This young boy became a fan of football legend, Jim Brown, then the running back for the Cleveland Browns.  Even though this young boy was crippled by Rickets from malnutrition, he dreamed of one day becoming a star running back like his hero, Jim Brown.

Since he had no money to pay to see his hero play, he would wait outside the stadium for the maintenance crew to open up the gate in the fourth quarter and he would hobble on his crocked legs into the stadium and watch the balance of the game.

At the age of 13, he walked into an ice cream parlor one day after a 49'rs game against the Browns and came face to face with his idol, Jim Brown.

He went up to him and said “Mr. Brown I am your biggest fan.  I know every record you've ever set, every touch down you've ever scored.  Mr. Brown one day I am going to break every one of your records.”

Jim Brown smiled and said “That great Kid. What's your name?”

The young boy smiled and said “Orenthal James Simpson my friends call me O.J”

O.J Simpson, did indeed go on to break all of Jim Brown's records proving that, whatever you water will grow, and that, energy goes where attention flows.

So, what was O. J’s secret to manifesting his, dreams, of breaking all of his hero’s records and becoming the best even though he had crocked legs? Focus and determination. Whatever you think about you bring about.

There are more, rags to riches, stories than rich kids born with trust funds. Today I want to look at 6 other famous people who manifested the life of their dreams.  We are looking for a common thread and that is the secret.

Some Names of, Rags to Riches, stories:

Transform Your mind media kit
Transform Your mind media kit

Oprah Winfrey success story 

Oprah Winfrey, was born in the rural town of Kosciusko, Mississippi, on January 29, 1954. After a troubled adolescence in a small farming community, where she was sexually abused by a number of male relatives and friends of her mother, Vernita, Winfrey moved to Nashville to live with her father, Vernon, a barber and businessman.

Winfrey launched The Oprah Winfrey Show in 1986 as a nationally syndicated program that ran for 25 years, until 2011. With its placement on 120 channels and an audience of 10 million people, the show grossed $125 million by the end of its first year, of which Winfrey received $30 million. Winfrey went on to become the first Black woman Billionaire in the USA.

4 things that made Oprah manifest the life of her dreams 
  1. Oprah says the number one thing she relied on was her instinct. Women are born with instinct but we most times second guess our instincts and that is why we don’t succeed. We all have that inner voice that guides us. Oprah says “Every decision I’ve ever made that led me to the right space and place in my life, I got there because I relied on that inner voice.”

2.     What is your intention?

Oprah says she read the book called “The Seat of the Soul” by Gary Zukav. In it, Zukav explains that intention precedes every thought and action and determines outcomes.

The principal of intention changed her life. “I started to make my decisions on what I intended,” she says. “What do I really intend to happen from the outcome of this decision or this choice?” I personally credit intention to my success as well. I read the book “The power of Intention” by Dr Dwayne Dwyer and used the, energy of intention, to design my life.  Which is what I am teaching you guys to do.

Transform Your Mind podcast curiocaster podcast
curiocaster podcast
3.     What are you grateful for?

“I practice being grateful,” says Winfrey, and she knows what you’re thinking. “And a lot of people say, ‘Oh Oprah, that’s easy for you ‘cause you got everything!’”

No, says Winfrey: “I got everything because I practiced being grateful.”.

Winfrey, has been keeping, gratitude journals, for years. “Some days she says you only have, ‘I’m still breathing.’ Because life gets in the way.”

Gratitude is one of the most powerful energies in manifesting the life of your dreams. Most of you want the things you are dreaming about before you can feel gratitude.  The secret is to feel, gratitude, before you get it.  You have to use your imagination to feel like you already have the, life of your dreams, and feeling, gratitude. That is how you move the needle.

  1. Know your truth

You have to know yourself. You can pretend to others and fake it till you make it, but you should not fool yourself. 

RadioPublic Transform your mind
RadioPublic Transform your mind

How Tony Robbins manifested the life of his dreams 

Tony Robbins, was born Anthony J. Mahavoric in North Hollywood, California, on February 29, 1960. Robbins is the eldest of three children, and his parents divorced when he was seven. He is of Croatian heritage from both sides of his family. His mother then remarried several times, including a marriage with Jim Robbins, a former semi-professional baseball player who legally adopted Anthony when he was 12.

During high school, Robbins grew ten inches in a year, a growth spurt later attributed to a pituitary tumor. He has said his home life was “chaotic” and “abusive”. When he was 17 years old, he left home and never returned. Robbins later worked as a janitor and did not attend college.] One day he asked the landlord on site, who was a family friend, about how he became so successful. The landlord then told him that he started to turn his life around after going to a Jim Rohn seminar.

Tony Robbins, is now the #1 Life coach in the world speaking into the lives of millions, including Presidents, and top executives.

He is also instrumental in my story as I went to his seminar in 1992 and started my journey to manifesting the life of my, dreams, from that seminar.

Here are the 4 modalities that allowed, Tony Robbins, to manifest the life of his, dreams.

Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm
Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm
 1. MOVE PAST YOUR FEAR OF FAILURE

If you want to make your, dreams, a reality, it’s critical that you move past your, fear of failure. Fear can stop you from even thinking about taking the first steps toward the life you want. Fear of failure, makes you feel like you are treading water in one place.

 2. EXAMINE LIMITING BELIEFS

Fear of failure is one of the most common, limiting beliefs, but it isn’t the only one. Would you be surprised to learn you can also have a, fear of success? Other common beliefs are that we’re not deserving of love and success, that we’ve “always been” a certain way or that we are inherently “not good at” something. All of these beliefs are false, and you must identify and replace them to make your, dreams, a reality.

 3. REVEAL YOUR NEEDS

Every human on earth is driven by one of the, Six Human Needs. If your top need is connection or significance, you may feel like you’re following someone else’s dreams in order to fit in or earn love. If you need certainty, you may need to break away from your comfort zone to make your dreams a reality. Discovering your top needs can change your entire perspective on life.

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

WHAT ARE THE 6 HUMAN NEEDS?

  1. Certainty: assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure
    2. Uncertainty/Variety: the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli
    3. Significance: feeling unique, important, special or needed
    4. Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something
    5. Growth: an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding
    6. Contribution: a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others

My top need is for contribution and service and that is why I try to speak into the lives of thousands on this show.

 4. TAKE ACTION

Taking action is what Tony built his coaching practice on.  In fact, he says to, take massive action. Tony says, “The path to success is to take massive, determined action.” Set goals and make a plan to get there. Hold yourself accountable every day. And never, ever give up.

Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast
Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

 Neal Donald Walsch secrets to dreams 

Neal Donald WalschTwenty years ago, Neale Donald Walsch, was in deep struggle. He had lost everything – his house, his marriage, his health and his job. He spent a year living on the street. His life turned around the day he asked in despair, “God, what will it take for my life to work?” He was invited to step into another version of himself – the version that would share his greatest gifts with the world and publish the best-selling Conversations with God book series.

Neal’s strategies for manifesting your, dreams, are:

  • Live in the knowledge that you are one of God’s offspring and there is nothing you are required to do to “get better” or to be seen as perfect and beautiful to God.
  • Activate and tap into the full power of God by believing you are the Universe and all powerful.
  • Turn your feelings of anger, pain, fear and doubt into love. Love is an energy that facilitates change.
Transform Your Mind Podcastland
Transform Your Mind Podcastland

How Les Brown went from poverty to his dreams 

Les Brown (born 1945) is a motivational speaker. Born into poverty and abandoned as a child, Les Brown, has gone on to become one of America’s best-known and highest-paid motivational speakers. His company, Les Brown Unlimited Inc., has made millions of dollars from the sale of motivational materials to a variety of audiences, from Fortune 500 executives to special education students and prisoners.

Les’s secretes for manifesting a, life of your dreams, are:

  • Have courage to go after your, dreams. “A lot of people do not muster the courage to live their, dreams, because they are afraid to die.
  • Give what you want to get. “Help others achieve their, dreams, and you will achieve yours.
  • You got to be hungry! “If you do not develop the hunger and courage to pursue your, dreams, you will lose your nerve and you will give up on your dream.

 So, what do all these people have in common. They focused their attention on what they wanted and not their current circumstances.

Transform Your Mind Podnews
Transform Your Mind Podnews

Here are my secrets for Living the Life of Your Dreams

  1. Use your imagination to dream big. As humans we are the only species that has the ability to imagine or daydream. Utilize this faculty to engage the, laws of attraction, and bring to you the desires of your heart.
  2. Pay attention to how you feel. Dr Dwayne Dwyer says you got to feel good. When you feel good you attract good things into your life.
  3. Launch your creation of your abundant life by launching your desires into the universe. Utilize prayer, meditation or any communication with infinite intelligence.
  4. Be grateful for what you have right now.

Everyone has something they can be grateful for even if it is feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin or being able to walk in the rain. Do you know that people in prison would give anything to feel the sun or walk in the rain. Positive vibration attracts positive things and circumstances into your experience and your, dreams become reality.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of, Transformation Fridays, with coach Myrna.

Additional Resources

Your Focus Determines Your Actions

Using Spiritual Psychology as A Personal Transformation Tool

Donna Bond spiritual psychology

Spiritual psychology, is a lens that we look through that teaches us everything that's happening in our life, is happening for us. That all of our challenges are beautifully designed opportunities, or I should say beautifully disguised opportunities giving us the steppingstones, we need to grow and evolve and transform. It is a, personal transformation, tool that helps us into our next level of protection to really fulfill our intelligence, which is the fullest realized expression of who we come here to be in this life.

Download the podcast here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11505423-how-to-use-spiritual-psychology-as-a-personal-development-tool.mp3?download=true

What is Spiritual Psychology

Donna: Spiritual psychology, is really a technology that was innovated and pioneered by doctors Ron and Mary Holman at the University of Santa Monica. Spiritual psychology, is a lens that we look through that teaches us everything that's happening in our life is happening for us. That all of our challenges are beautifully designed opportunities, or I should say beautifully disguised opportunities. Giving us the steppingstones, we need to grow and evolve and transform into our next level of protection to really fulfill our intelligence, which is the fullest realized expression of who we come here to be in this life.

Book: Original Wisdom: Harness the Power of the Authentic You
Book: Original Wisdom: Harness the Power of the Authentic You

And that's what it is. It's a perspective, right? It is a way to see the world and when we start seeing the world as if everything that's happening is really this beautifully designed opportunity for us to grow and learn and change and evolve. And we start seeing the world from an empowered place, rather than seeing the world from a place of feeling victimized by life circumstances and life's happenstance of life's craziness.

Myrna: That is actually quite good. And I would get as you're talking, I'm imagining myself in a coaching session, and you're talking to someone, and they are saying Oh, my life has been very bad, and all these different things happened to me. And then you can turn that around and say, you know what, what did this teach you? What do you think that this revealed to you? What strengths did you bring out of that? That is a, spiritual psychology, session.

I am actually loving it. Now you guys are calling it a different name. But the Bible teaches that everything happens for your good.  Actually, it's one of the scripture verses that I that I adhere to, and it's one of my foundation scriptures is that yes, everything happens for your good. So now that I've opened that door, so how do you use, spiritual psychology, as a, transformation tool, in your coaching sessions?

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Jordan Harbinger podcast
Jordan Harbinger podcast

Heart centered listening is one of the principles of spiritual psychology

Donna: Well, there are 33 principles and practices of, spiritual psychology. And so, I use each of these principles and practices to support the client in doing their life from a different place. And you know, two of our foundational skills the University of Santa Monica has entitled the skill, heart centered listening, and I call it, heart centered listening.  The original name for seeing the loving essence I have renamed to big acknowledgement. A big acknowledgement is the recognition that you and I are, spiritual beings, on this epic human adventure. And when I recognize you also as a, spiritual being, having this public human adventure, then there's something about that that makes us the same.

And when we begin to recognize that for every single person on the planet, then we can really recognize that we really are all one and we're all in this together. We're all facing the same challenges and the same trials and the same opportunities. You know, we all are in club human together, having this human experience.

Heart centered listening, is really about it's about what you do all day in your in your job Myrna with these podcasts that you do and like deeply listening to another person giving them the space to share from a center heart opened place where they are free to explore their own consciousness.  And download from the infinite universe kind of trickle into the conversation. And when we invite that, infinite intelligence, into the conversation, who knows what's going to happen? That is why we call it, spiritual psychology.

Myrna: I love it. Yes, yes. You're talking my language girl. Yeah, I you know, we are all love. I love Deepak Chopra. And you know, Deepak Chopra always says that we are all, spiritual beings, having a, human experience, manifesting through a, central nervous system. So, each one of us is manifesting, through our individual, human nervous system. But eventually we're all we're all connected.

One of the one of the things that he says, and I was even meditating on this morning, is that we're all like a wave in the ocean. We're all part of the ocean and each one of us is a wave. And so, what you are saying is beautiful. And you are correct when you recognize that we're all one, and we're all spirit and we're all connected, that changes your perception on your struggles. Is that what you are calling, spiritual psychology?

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Spiritual psychology is the gateway to acceptance of our humaneness

Donna: Well, yes, it's one way that you can go with it. And, you know, the longer I'm on this spiritual path, the more I realized it's really about loving my humaneness. And I think a big gateway to, transformation, and how I work with my clients is really inviting them into a deeper level of reverence for their, human experience, a deeper level of acceptance for the human.  A deeper level of acceptance for ourselves, you know, for how we fall short of our own aspirations in life, and how we relate to ourselves, when we're going through something difficult.

That's really where we have an opportunity to have a different experience in our life. I love what you were sharing about Deepak Chopra. And one of the things that the way that I like to say it is we are all unique, individualized expressions of, the Divine. And no two of us are the same, right? Every single one of us is this gorgeous depiction of, the Divine. And how magnificent is that? And it's quite a miracle.

And it's quite miraculous, but we overlook it on a regular basis. And so, I helped people slow down and tune in so that they can begin to recognize their power, the real power, the power that comes from inside of us, not the power that we think that we get from our job or for money or from a status position or anything like that. Helping people to recognize that they have this inherent power within them. And that power is a source of our aliveness. That is that power is the source of our expression out in the world as a drop in, the Divine.

Myrna: Very true. It's actually very powerful. Very powerful, because, you know, one of the reasons that I concentrate so heavily on the, mind, is because that's where it starts. It's how you think is your thoughts is your thought process. And, yeah, once you recognize that, that you're limitless, that you're powerful, that you actually shape your destiny and that is all part of, spiritual psychology.

It doesn't just happen, you're shaping it by your thoughts and if you feel empowered, or if you feel a victim, you know, that's basically my story as well. Yeah, you got to realize, you have power and instead of being stuck, you have the power to change your life, if it's going in one direction, just like you did. You figure that yeah; I am just on a treadmill. And what did you do? You did something about it, right? You didn't stay there and wait until you're 65 and then say, you know, my life has been terrible.

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Reclaiming our authentic power

Now, one of the other things that we were talking about is how can we use consciousness to reclaim our, authentic power.

Donna: We have to become present, be in the, present moment, Myrna? We're all so caught up in the future with the two dues right? We got to go here. We got to do this. We got to do that. And our mind, you know, our attention and our energy go into the future. Or we're stuck in the past, right? We're obsessing about I should have said this, or I should have done that. And we're caught up in yesterday and what really is over that we can't even change. But when we can be here in this, present moment, right now, and place our energy and our intention on person, the situation whatever is right in front of us. Then we are tapping into our, consciousness, in the highest way that we can at the time.

Myrna: Right. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yes, because yes, consciousness, is definitely being present and nothing happens outside of the, present moment. A lot of people are always in the past or the future. But change only happens in the, present moment. So, that's pretty good. All right. Now one of the things that you do in your in your work, is you talk about the, power of the I AM. So, talk to us about how you help your clients to using, I AM, to pivot for to help with their, transformation.

Donna: Thank you so much for asking this question. I see this as one of the most powerful tools that we all have in our toolbox. And it's the two little, teeny tiny words, I AM, because when we say those words, we are making a declaration. We are making a proclamation to the universe. And so, I invite your listeners to just pay attention. What comes attached to these two little words in your life? Are you walking around saying, I am, tired? I am, exhausted. I am, sick. I AM, whatever. Because the back story that we're telling, then those are the results that we are creating.

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Comedians for Climate Action Atlanta
Comedians for Climate Action Atlanta

Hip-hop recording artist and climate activist Legrand presents Comedians for Climate Action on Friday Oct 28, 2022

Atlantucky Brewing – located at 170 Northside Drive Southwest, Atlanta. This event is Hosted by comedian TuRae, the event will feature comedians and a live performance by Legrand. We welcome donations to Trees Atlanta as one of many ways to take action to benefit earth' s climate. There will be two shows; one show begins at 7pm and the other at 9pm. Additional details can be found on the artist Legrand's website www.legrandescape.com Come out and enjoy Big Laughs and Hip-Hop music For a Great Cause

#keepthatsamegreenenergy . Organizations or vendors interested in sponsorship opportunities should email thelegrandescape@gmail.com. Pick up your tickets https://www.eventbrite.com/e/legrand-presents-comedians-for-climate-action-tickets-417097488817

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Using I AM in transformation

And so, I see this as literally like using a magic wand. We are instantaneously reaffirming what we do want to experience, what we do want to occur. So, we can put our attention, our focus on that immediately and begin to say things like,

  • I AM, doing the best that I can in the moment.
  • I am, moving towards radiant health and wellbeing.
  • I am, vitality.
  • I am perfect, just the way God made me.
  • I am, accepting all of myself, no matter what society says about you.

So, it's really a powerful way to change our current reality. And I talk extensively about this. I have a whole chapter called, I AM, or it's called the responsibility of, I am, in my book “Original Wisdom: Harnessing the Power of the Authentic You.”

My book really talks about my journey and how I left the corporate arena, and Myrna it wasn't a straight path. I gotta tell you, it wasn't hiding guidance. I didn’t wake up one morning and said, I'm going to be a coach. It didn't happen like that. And as a matter of fact, if you could have told me that I was going to be in these sacred, intimate, loving, connected one on one conversations with people I would have said oh, hell no, that's never gonna happen. Because the time that my journey began, the, mindset, that I had, was completely different than the, mindset, that I have now.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Mindset and personal development

Myrna: I know, we're in the, personal improvement, and, personal development, space, and we grow along with people that we teach. I am listening and learning something every single day so we're growing in that space. And for me, because I get to speak to excellent guests like yourself, I'm learning, It’s like a school for me. I'm learning from all my guests. And yeah, your, mindset, keeps shifting.

But I want to touch back on that, I am, statement because one of the things that I love saying is, I am the universe, and that's basically what you were talking about. Earlier, when you said that we are, spiritual beings, right. And we're part of the Infinite is the fact that, I'm the universe, right? The universe is inside of me.  So now you coach, and you have your master's degree. So why did you write the book and what is it that you want the readers to walk away with, after they put it down?

Donna: The truth is, I was really creating a workshop. I was putting together teaching points. And as I was going through these teaching points, I thought to myself, oh, I have a story for that. You know, I really want to illustrate that in a more visual way, in a way that people can remember or walk away with. And so, as I started compiling all of my stories, I kind of took a step back and I was like, that's my story. It's like my whole story. And after a little bit of rearranging, I unfolded, really this path and I don't tell the story in a chronological way, because of the way in which, I AM, pulled each of the concepts.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Original Wisdom: Harness the power of the authentic you

I deliver a dovetail experience to it so that each of them builds on their previous one. And really, what I want people to walk away with is a sense of that, authentic empowerment, a sense that they are so much more, we are so much more than what we have been taught. And original wisdom is an inherent intelligence in all beings, that is rooted in unconditional love.

And when I think about, our spirit or soul, the energy of that is unconditional love. So, the intention of my book is to help people remember what their needs are. They are made of love. And we just have stuff that stands in the way of that. And that's really what I help my clients do is remove those blocks, so that they can remember the truth of who they are.

Myrna: I love it. Where can we get a copy of your book and tell us about your website and tell us you know, you're a coach and you do offer personal transformation coaching. So, tell us tell our listeners how they can get in touch with you.

Donna: All of the information can be found on www.Donnabond.com. And my book, of course, is on Amazon and all of the major book retailers out there “Original Wisdom: Harness the Power of the Authentic You.” And periodically I have a masterclass that I offer called empower the authentic you where I teach live, the concepts that I offer in original wisdom.

Additional Resources

How to Replace Bad Habits With Success Habits

Why We Have Trust Issues in Relationships

Trust, is earned, trust, is central to every relationship and, trust, is about intention.  We have, trust issues, when we have fear of betrayal, or abandonment. This fear is often triggered as a result of past betrayal e.g. a spouse cheating on you.  Abandonment, e.g your parents left you with your grandparents and never came back.

In this episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna we look at 4 types of trust what they are and how you can cultivate them in your relationships to avoid, trust issues.

Download the Podcast here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11474504-why-we-have-trust-issues-in-relationships.mp3?download=true

How to develop trust in relationships

There are 4 types of trust are Care, competence, consistency, and character.

Let’s dissect each of these

Care – When we care about your partner, we put our emotions in their hands, they care about what's best for you and not what's best for them. They care about your well being.  Examples of care are going beyond the call of duty to help you move, accompany you to a doctor’s appointment etc. We develop, trust issues, if when we need help, physical or emotional and no one is there to care for us.

A perfect example is if you have surgery and is totally dependent on your partner's help for basic services like bathing, toilet or food and they abandon you. You would be scared for life and develop major, trust issues, in the future.

Goodpods Transform Your Mind podcast
Goodpods podcast

Competence – The second type of trust is, competence.  You trust that your partner is competent to handle financial matters. If you are sick, competence, to handle your care and make decisions that are best for you and not best for them. You, trust, their opinions and recommendations.

When you go into surgery that is life threatening, you will be asked to draw up a living will and a power of attorney. You need someone, competent, to handle not only the financial obligations but to talk to the doctors and make sure that you are receiving the best care.

Transform Your Mind podcast curiocaster podcast
curiocaster podcast

Trust issues and Character

Character – When we talk about, trust, we are usually talking about a high moral compass or the, character, of our partner. We look to these people when we are not sure what is right and follow their lead. These people practice what they preach and are valuable in interdependent relationships. They have good reputation, strong opinion, and down to earth advice. They are trustworthy.

In most cases, our romantic relationships suffer the most from our, trust issues, because of, character.  A person's, character, prevent them from lying and cheating.  Since, intimate relationships, are based on honesty and openness a partner who has, character, builds trust. This, trust, is the glue that binds the relationship, providing a positive emotional connection that’s rooted in affection, love, and loyalty.

Consistency – Your partner shows, consistency, when they are reliable, and you know that they always have your back. They may not be the expert, but they are reliable, present and available when you need them. They have been with you through highs and lows.

Trust issues, can be a sign that someone has experienced a significant amount of trauma — but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t working through their past experiences and learning, consistency. Trust issues, in a relationship can be hard for both partners to overcome, but with adequate support and communication channels, people with, trust issues, can have healthy, successful connections with partners — that aren’t ruled by their past.

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

Trust that people come into your life for a reason

These are the four types of trust that make, relationships, flourish.

People come into your life for a reason a season or a lifetime

Some people come into your life for a season bringing change and excitement, but the relationship ends like all seasons do.

Another person might come in for a reason to help you learn and grow or to support you through a difficult time. It feels like they have been sent to guide you through.

And they are lifetime people they stand beside you through thick and thin loving you even when you have nothing to give them.

Love is a gift without any strings attached. Trust love.

Remember you are also a season, reason or lifetime partner to someone else and your role may not match theirs.

Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast
Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

Trust in Business relationships

Contractual trust, is useful in business.

Mutual trust, comes from a place of goodness.

Pure trust, is when you know that another person has your back.

You develop, trust, by asking for what you want.

Tell them how you want to be loved.

Communicate the areas Where there is dissatisfaction

Build trust by telling your partner what would make you feel loved Thanks for tuning into 5 mins with coach Myrna I want to invite you to join my private Facebook group called life coach so that you can be inspired all week long. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

Can You Handle Success Like Chris Rock

How To Break Your Attachment Style with IMAGO Therapy

Jessica Baum attachment styles

Often when we're mating or in the beginning of a relationship, we don't know how it's going turn out.  We are not conscious of our, attachment styles, we don't know how the dance is going to take place until the, attachment, takes place. After the honeymoon phase someone can be scared of intimacy and pull away or someone could be scared of abandonment and move closer. But these patterns don't show up until a little bit later in the relationship.

Myrna: All right, Jessica. So as we start off, I always like to get a foundation so the listeners can understand your backstory. So what was your journey to becoming a, couples therapist? Tell me there's a juicy story there.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11461587-how-to-break-the-cycle-of-your-attachment-style.mp3?download=true

Introduction to IMAGO Therapy

Jessica: Well, definitely through my own interpersonal struggles for sure. You know, I did a session or something called, IMAGO therapy. So it's, I'm a psychotherapist and I went to a psychotherapist and I got I worked with, IMAGO therapy, which means image, and through that work, I started to develop an understanding of my own, attachment wounds, and how I was relating in relationships and that definitely made me want to become a, certified Imago specialist.

So that's one of the things that I am passionate about. And then I started working with,  substance abuse centers, and started treating families with a lot of codependency, and system issues. I also treated a lot of couples in my private practice. So I started to see these unconscious dances and these wounds play out and you know with, Imago therapy, there's a lot of trauma that comes up in, relationships, you know, and so our wounds show up.

So I was starting to see this happen over and over again. And I was starting to help it in big ways in my office and see really powerful transformations come up in, relationships, and so through my own journey and through my private practice. Yeah, I just I wanted to get this information out to the world. I also in my early 20s, identified as a, codependent, and  read every book on, codependency, I could get my hands on and it wasn't until I discovered, attachment theory, later on.

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Young and Profiting Podcast
Young and Profiting Podcast

Codependency in relationships

I went to school and studied it for years until I really understood that, codependency, is a product of, attachment wounds, and how we relate and stay in connection, because that's our biological imperative. So it was a combination of my own work and working with family systems and then working with couples that led me to want to write this book.

Myrna: That's amazing. You unpacked a lot of stuff there. One, IMAGO therapy. I've never heard of it.

Jessica: I highly recommend, IMAGO therapy, or Emotionally Focused couples, counseling. Those are two modalities that you have to be extra certified in and they really work with the energy and dynamics in, relationships.  Protection show up and the wounds start to show up and all of a sudden we're having sensations and wounds, kind of these patterns showing up in our most romantic, relationships.

And we're all kind of confused, but this is actually supposed to happen because what happened to us when we were younger is subconscious and then now we're as adults and we're partnering up all of that actually gets reenacted and hopefully can then get healed in relationship it with two conscious people doing the work.

So that's why I really loved, IMAGO therapy, it's not about a therapist sitting in a room telling you what to do. It's actually led by this beautiful dance between the couple where the therapist is outside leading deep dialogue to help each person see where their wounding is, in such a beautiful way. It's experiential. So it's a process you go through and it just impacted me very deeply that I decided to get certified and trained in it myself and I've had a lot of success with it.

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Childhood trauma shows up in our attachment styles

Myrna: I guess everything is, trauma, because even if you were abandoned, or you were abused, it still in the trauma bucket. Right. So is that what you're talking about?

Jessica: I'm talking about, developmental trauma. And so, trauma, has a big word and if you're listening you might be like, I have no, trauma. But the truth is, our earliest experiences even though they might not appear like, trauma, how we relate to our primary caregiver, how rupture and repair happen, what those early interactions are, they shape your developmental process.  And is the lens in which we see the world, they shape our physical body, they shape our nervous system and ultimately our, attachment styles.

So there's a lot of impact that happens when we're young that we don't even realize it until we get intimate and close with another in our adult years. And so that's essentially, attachment theory. But yeah, it's adaptations. How we adapted when we were really small to stay in connection is or keep ourselves safe is usually how we will adapt in our, romantic relationships, when things get a little bumpy.

Myrna: Okay, all right. So I'm still trying to wrap my head around this one, so I'm pretty sure our listeners are too I'm thinking that, you know, we have had men and women seem to pick the same type of partner, they usually end up in, relationships, where maybe the man is abusive, or a relationship where they're abandoned, but they seem to have these, attachments styles. So I think that's probably where you're going.

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Our attachment styles comes from embedded patterns

Jessica: Attachment styles, is a category but they're really embedded patterns. That we form in our nervous system early on. And there's four traditional, attachment styles, categories:

  1. Secure attachment style- That's someone who has grown up with an inherent sense of trust, doesn't struggle with intimacy or feels okay being alone.  They really are secure within themselves.
  2. Insecure attachment style – There's anxious which is the one I wrote my book on,
  3. Avoidant attachment style – There's fearful avoidant and so anxious people tend to have gotten inconsistency in their parenting. So they, there's also a heightened anxiety and  hyper vigilance.

We actually mirror our mother's brain and nervous system when we're developing and if our primary caregiver wasn't consistent enough, we're always kind of waiting for the shoe to drop. There's a sense that connection isn't going to stay the same, I got to keep my partner happy, or I have to bend over backwards to please them. We'll tend to self abandon our own body as a way to survive.

I mean, it's actually how we learn to survive and stay in connection in our earliest, relationships. Avoidant, attachment style, is really someone who didn't get their emotional needs met well, and learn to kind of rely a little bit more on their own and they become more independent. They tend to be people who are really focused on career and who are successful and they are not as dependent, they don't need as much connection.

3 Types of attachment styles

These two anxious and avoidant, attachment styles, tend to partner with each other.  So just their inherent needs are so different because of their, attachment styles. And then there's fearful avoidant, which is a embedded combination of both. So it's a two way street. So you have your embedded patterns, but how they show up depends on also who you attach to and how their patterns combined with your patterns,

Then you have a combined embedded pattern dance between the relationship and I would say all, relationships, have a dance to some degree. So it's complicated and it's layered but usually you have one way of trying to get your needs met, whether that's reaching out expanding, being dependent or being, interdependent, and isolating when you're scared shutting down. 

Myrna: I was thinking, attachment styles, I was thinking like attachment patterns. But what you're talking about is is is how you show up in a relationship.

Jessica: Yeah, I mean, due to neuroplasticity, no one can say that any, attachment style, is static. We have the research to show that things are always changing and we will move towards warm connection and build new neural wiring and build new secure attachment. The more secure people we attach to not just our husband or wife but friends and colleagues. The more we have secure safe people in our life, the more self confident and the more inner security is built.

It's actually, healthy dependency, or, inter-dependency, that we're looking for. So if a baby felt like there was a lack of trust, and they will be dropped, and they couldn't depend on their primary caregiver, where adults can actually depend in healthy ways on many different people who are safe and secure. You rebuild that inner security from within and it's very changeable. It does require a little bit of work. But it definitely is a changeable thing.

Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

Our attachment styles are changeable

Myrna: That's good to know. That, you can be changeable even outside of therapy.  If they form an attachment with someone that's nurturing as an adult, they will start to build back as a whole person.

Why do we pick the same people?

Jessica: Someone who has an insecure base might not do this to secure person because their nervous system is very steady and calm that can feel boring and not exciting for them. So they'll pick what's familiar unconsciously.  A lot of relationship type of psychotherapy says that our core wounds are going to come up no matter who we pick.

The subconscious is going to come up in those deep, relationships. But if you find yourself attracting the same type of person over and over again, the bad boy or bad girl, or an emotionally unavailable person, then that is an indication that you had an unavailable person in your childhood and there's a familiarity there. And so you're trying to repair.

Myrna: That's what I thought we were talking about the, attachment styles. That's where we're gonna go is Yes, I know that you subconsciously. And I even heard that narcissists and people that are predators, pick up on the person that is that is insecure, and that's the person that they attached to. Right?

Jessica: Narcissists are deeply insecure themselves. So there's a sense of that going on in in them as well. But yeah, they can pick up on that or they will.

Myrna: How do we break that, attachment style cycle? Now, I think you touched on that a little bit just now that we picked things that are  familiar. But let's touch on the, attachment wounds. So let's say that we had parents that didn't see us, you know what I mean? We weren't really totally abandoned, but we were not seen.

Jessica: Yeah, that's always the, autonomic nervous system, picking things but our wounds exist inside of us. You tell yourself,  I'm unlovable, I will be left. I'm unworthy. That's an inherent sense that lives in our body. That's not even the story. It's a feeling that lives inside of us. So if we're feel that way, we can even pick someone who make us at the center of their world. And as the relationship goes through phases, and they step away, whether they really step away or they really neglect the relationship. All the feelings of being unworthy or not being seen or being neglected are actually going to come to the surface.

Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

We are triggered or awakened by past trauma

Because there was togetherness, and then there were separateness which happens in every relationship. So it's going to trigger your feelings of unworthiness. The degree in which it brings it up as depends on the person that you pair with. If you have a turbulent relationship, it might just keep repeating that feeling and that sensation and again, that's your nervous system going into fight flight, coming up with stories in your head to match what you're feeling in your body, and you've just keep buying the same narrative over again.

Often when we're mating or in the beginning of a relationship, you don't know how it's going turn out. There's no protections up and sometimes you don't know how the dance is going to take place until the attachment takes place. After the honeymoon phase someone can be scared of intimacy and pull away or someone could be scared of abandonment and move closer. But these patterns don't show up until a little bit later in the relationship.

So it can be really confusing because something could start off really wonderful and go south really fast. And that's because of protections and adaptations and your nervous system started to get really scared and it became unsafe really fast for one or both parties.

Myrna: So what exactly is a trigger? And what are some of the tools that we can use when triggered in relationship?

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Triggers are formed from sensations stored in the body

Jessica: Well, if it's sensational, it's early memory, so if you are a teenager and you're getting left, it can leave pain for sure. And there can be, trauma, later on in life. But if you have a really secure base, you'll probably be like, Oh, you'll recover much faster.  When we're really looking at memory, there's different kinds of memory.  We store memory first when we're really young as sensation we don't have a hippocampus fully developed. So the sensations are really big.

I don't say, trigger, I like to use the word awakened because we're awakening in these moments to painful things that are going on inside of our body. But if you know the nervous system, what we know is that we're supposed to feel safe. So when you feel abandoned, your system will shift out of safety into fight. Flight freeze, or fawn depending on how you adapted in your patterns.

So when your body is going into an activated state, usually sympathetic arousal and your thoughts start blaming and projecting there's a chance that you're not feeling safe in your body and then that has activated something very scary inside. When I hear the work, trigger, I think of a gun and I think trauma and shame but really we're awakening parts of ourselves.

Myrna: Wow. You're doing good work. I am very interested in your in your research. It's amazing. All right. So you have developed this method that's called the, self-full  method. You want to tell us about that?

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

What is the Self-full method

Jessica: It's in this book that I just published called “Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love” I cover the, self-full  method,  deep in here In layman's terms. I worked with a lot of, codependent, people who would come into my office and I would be like, you need to be more selfish. You need to learn how to take care of yourself and they would look at me like that's a bad word.

Myrna: I just found out the other day you're right that selfish just means taking care of yourself. It's not a bad word.

Jessica: Well actually selfish is not great. But what I said is so selfless is that state I talk about constantly giving and giving and giving. And selfish is a state of taking care and protection. They're not bad states, either one of them but they're both sympathetic states of arousal in our nervous system.  A, self-full,  state is a norm as a calm state of connection where there's fluid boundaries, there's an ability to request your needs. There's a sense of safety in the relationship.

Transform your Mind Podbean
Transform your Mind Podbean

Is being selfish a bad word?

And we all travel within the states all the time. But you might notice how I'm selfless in my relationship. I tend to self abandon, I tend to give a lot away, I tend to people please when I'm in a relationship because I don't want to lose love and I tend to attract really selfish people. That's a dynamic that you see a lot, so working towards a, self full, place is about doing your own inner work, and really being with more parts of yourself and understanding your nervous system in a new way.

Attracting someone who equally can give an exchange of these things so that you don't keep giving, because the giving is an adaptation. And it's coming from fear rather than always wanting to give.  And even a selfish state which everyone enters are fluid, but if you enter a really selfish or close down or walled off state, it's also a state of activation and a state of fear.

So those two tend to be the polar opposites of the spectrum. And so, self-full, is like a ventral state of connection.  Getting yourself calm, being connected with yourself being connected with others feeling safe in your relationship. And so I've talked about how to cultivate that within your own body and your nervous system and in the, relationships, in your life and how to work with that and develop more, more capacity to be in a, self full, state.

Book: Anxiously attached
Book: Anxiously attached

Conclusion

Myrna: That's good as you were talking, I thought of myself. How can women connect with you and get a copy of your book?

Jessica: Yeah, so I mean, my book is everywhere. It's on Barnes and Nobles. It's on Amazon, you name it. It's everywhere. It's going to be in seven countries, it  is just really getting out there in the world. So you can just go on Amazon and put in Anxiously Attached, becoming more secure in life and love.  You can also find me on Instagram @JessicaBaumLMHC. My website  https://www.beselffull.com/ is where I have some of my online courses and the relationship Institute in Palm Beach is a private practice here in South Florida.

We do intense couples work trauma, I have a five therapists on my team. So we work to collectively to treat couples and system issues. So those are all the ways that you can find me.  I've poured my heart and soul into that book for the last four years and I think if you resonate with someone who has, codependency, or you self abandon or you give yourself away, it's really a healing path to forming a healthier relationship with yourself, but also getting that fulfilling relationship that you want and truly deserve on the outside.

Additional Resources

How to Overcome the Pain of Domestic Violence

How to Be Successful:10 Secrets to Success

secrets of my success

I want to share 10, secrets to success, that are also my, secrets to success. I do believe that, success, leaves Clues.  I have not achieved ultimate, success; I am still working towards it, but I am, successful, because I have succeeded in all the goals, I have set for myself.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11431435-10-secrets-of-my-success.mp3?download=true

Definition of success

So, what is the, definition of success? Success, is defined the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.

We all think that, success, means the attainment of wealth and furthermore we think wealth is millions in the bank.  But let me share with you a secret, you are wealthier that 95% of the world if you have a savings account, if you have a jar of coins, if you have food to eat and a roof over your head.

You are considered, successful, if you have achieved eminence which means you have a successful career or profession.  How many of you know that you could have a PHD and be recognized with all kind of awards and accolades and still live in poverty. I say all that to say that I am, successful, even though I have not yet achieved great wealth.

My story is probably similar to a lot of people who achieved, success. Most successful people start off with nothing and I am no exception.

How to be successful

I was born in British Guyana, in South America. When I was born Guyana was very a poor country, it still is a Third World country. Both my mom and my grandmother were domestic servants and we didn't have much. My Dad taught me at a very early age the value of education to elevate ourselves out of poverty. He was very smart. When I was born he was in Teachers College and went on to get his PH.D in in London in his early thirties. This is the first step in, how to be successful, education.

I'm submerging myself right now in the book “The Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton and I'm understanding from Dr. Lipton, that genes give us 50% of our character and the other 50% comes from the environment we grew up in. Looking back, I can say that as a child, because I was the first born, I was cocooned in love so, the environment that I grew up in, kind of nullified the poverty thing.

Self Improvement Book: Out of the Snares
Out of the Snares of poverty, and abuse

10 Secrets to Success

So let me share with you the 10, secrets of my success, as recorded in my book Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement.

Secret # 1- Don't be a victim. Many women in the black community have been molested as children and I was one of them. We could use that story to become a, victim, of our circumstances and that stifles, success, because, victims, have no power. A, victim mentality, says that somebody did something to you and that person has the power over you. Instead, you need to become as a Player. When you are a player, I use the analogy of a blackjack game, regardless of what the dealer is showing, regardless of where you are and your circumstances right now, regardless of what you see physically in front of you, you can still play to win.

Transform Your Mind Podvine
Transform Your Mind Podvine

Rewrite Your Story

Secret # 2 – Don’t be defined by where you start out, rewrite your story. In the movie Maid in Manhattan with Jennifer Lopez.  Jennifer Lopez was a maid and she lied about who she was so she could date a Senator, when she was found out and fired from the hotel, her manager told her just because we serve others, we are not their servants.  They are no better than us because they have money. You are not inferior because you were born on the wrong side of the tracks or in a poor country. Your intelligence can take you from there and transplant you in the land of the riches.  Another story I want to share with you is about Sydney Pottier. I was just watching his documentary on Netflix and he shared that he never saw lights, running water, a school nothing.  He was born in a poor part of the Bahamas and when he first went to Nassau and saw the other side of how people lived, he was amazed.

Then he moved to Miami and started delivering food and encountered racism where because he was black, he was considered not worthy of anything. So he moved to Harlem where he saw for the first time, successful blacks.  He decided to try his luck at acting, but he couldn’t read.  He taught himself to read by reading the newspaper and got rid of his accent by mimicking a radio personality and he went on to become the first African American to win an academy award and star in the most iconic films.  So regardless of where you start out in life you can always, rewrite your story.

Podbay FM Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podbay FM

Secrets to Success: An abundant mindset

Secret #3 – Develop an abundant mindset – When I was a child, my parents were poor but I had a very wealthy Godfather.  I spent a lot of time at his house and he treated me like one of his grandchildren. Because of my association with my godfather, I never wanted for anything.  When I became an adult, this, abundant mindset, helped me always look at a glass half full instead of half empty.

I immigrated to Toronto, Canada at 17 years old. I immediately got a good job at a bank with no experience. After a couple of years, I decided to go to college. Canada is a country with lots of benefits. I was able to go back to school for free, unemployment insurance from my job paid for my schooling. I graduated with a degree in computer science and I decided to go to sell computers because I understood that that's where the most money was.

When you have an, abundant mindset, you look at the world as having everything you need and you don’t see lack. Because of this you attract into your experience abundance.

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

Secrets to success: Unleash the power within

Secrets to success, #4 – Unleash the power within. As I mentioned, after graduating from College, I took a job selling computers. A couple years into selling computers, my company received an invitation to attend a free seminar with Tony Robbins called, Unleash the power within. How many of you know that everything you need to be successful in life is pre-loaded into you at birth.

Joel Osteen says, we are all like a luxury car, we come pre-loaded with all kinds of luxury features and all we have to do is read the manual to figure out how to work them. Unleash the Power within, opened up to me my pre-loaded characteristics, I went into that seminar as a salesperson, I came out of that seminar an entrepreneur. Two months later, I started my own limousine service and went on to become the largest female operator in Toronto, Canada and winning the Entrepreneur of the year award.

Secret to Success, #5 – Persistence, never give up. If you have a goal or dream, never give up on it. My favorite mantra is “If you build it, they will come.” I have had several goals and dreams that I stuck with and, never gave up.  My book “Out of the Snares” reads like a suspense novel as I give details about achieving my dream of becoming an American Citizen.  I, never gave up; it took me 3 tries and 10 years but, in the end, I received this benefit.

I also kept looking for love, I have been married quite a few times until I found the man of my dreams.

I started my radio show and podcast 7 years ago and kept building and building.  I knew I had to put in the time and finally, I have achieved, success. So, make persistence your top characteristic and never ever give up on your dreams.

Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast
Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

Secrets to Success: Guidance from your higher self

Secrets to success, #6 – be open to guidance from the Divine or your, Higher self. You have to live consciously to be in communication with your spirit guide. I know now that the things that we see and the things that we pay attention to, is the universe speaking to us and directing us to our purpose.

The way to open yourself up to guidance from your, higher self, is to meditate and quiet your mind.  I am most open to inspiration when I wake up in the morning and I act on all my inspiration messages so as to keep them coming.

Secret to success, #7 – Action. I am not one of those people who think about things for years and do nothing.  I get inspiration and I move. Case in point.  One day I was flipping through a newspaper and I saw the word Life coach under the name of one of my church members.  I had never heard or seen that word before.

I was reading this book at the time and the author was saying that if you would like to find out how someone is achieving success buy them lunch or dinner and pick their brains. So, I invited my church sister to lunch and asked her everything I needed to know about becoming a Life coach. I didn’t waste any time, I took,action. I was enrolled in University of Miami coaching program the next month! Like I said, I move, I take, action.

About a year after becoming a, Life Coach, I received an invitation to be a guest on a radio show and talk about my, secrets to success, The show was aired on WDJY 99.1 Metro Atlanta. Hype Media Global owned the station and they loved my personality and my content and offered me my own show! The rest is history. The radio show turned into a podcast and a television show on Preach The Word Worldwide Television Network ,  Action, is the first step to the rest of your life.

Transform Your Mind Podcastland
Transform Your Mind Podcastland

Secret to Success: learn as you go

Secrets to success, # 8 – Jump in and, learn as you go. As I mentioned, when Hype media offered me my own show, I didn’t hesitate by saying I don’t know what to do. I had to learn to interview, I had to learn to produce my own show and then learn how to convert it to a podcast. I learned as I went on, then I had to learn how to write a blog, then I had to learn how to edit my website, how to do SEO, Etc. I am still learning every day.

Secrets to success, #9 – practice meditation. There are so many benefits to, meditation. For me, meditation, allows me to control my energy and vibration. When you relax your body and quite your mind from thoughts of the past or future you are able to concentrate on the, present moment. The, present moment, is the only thing that matters, it is really a present.

The benefit for me is that I know that when I have positive vibration, I attract the good things.  If you want to be, successful, you need to engage the, laws of attraction, to bring you what you dream about. The only way to do this is to control your energy.  Meditation, relaxes mind body so that your spirit which is your, subconscious mind, can get to work. This is how you become the co-creator of your life. So, meditate and concentrate on what you want because where attention goes, energy flows!

Transform Your Mind Podnews
Transform Your Mind Podnews

Secret to success: Transform Your Mind

Secrets to success, #10 –  Transform your mind, I encourage everybody that's listening to this podcast or reading this blog, to look at what beliefs and behaviors are not serving you and replace them. It is not easy because most of us live unconsciously, but awareness is key.

Look for the opportunity in any setback. I'm an optimist. I am not sure when this started, but I'm an optimist. Optimism is one of the foundations to, secrets to success, anytime something happens to me or I receive any kind of push-back, I look for the opportunity in it. What I'm talking about is, transform your mind, to obstacles or setbacks; when one door closes another door opens.  Don’t spend too much time looking in the rear-view mirror, you are not going that way.

I was working for Office Depot when Office Depot and OfficeMax merged and they fired me and gave me a great severance package. I had worked for Office Depot for ten years. With that severance package, I started my own business and went into it full time. I never looked back. I had coworkers who wallowed in self-pity. What am I going to do? How am I going to find a job at 50 years old? Cry, cry.

I heard Oprah say it a different way.

The sun is always there even when the clouds are covering it. The sun is still shining underneath, you just can't see it. Always look for the silver lining, if you look for it, you will find it.

Live your life with intention. Intention is energy, it’s thought. Before you do anything, it first has to be a thought in your brain. Before you can hold anything in your hand you first have to hold it in your head.

These are my, secrets to my success; I hope you can make them yours.

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into, Transformation Fridays, with coach Myrna.  I hope you were inspired today and look at, success, differently. I hope to see you back here next week for another episode of, Transformation Fridays.  Until then Namaste

 

Additional Resources 

How to Unleash The Power Within