Benefits and Drawbacks of Keto and Paleo Diets

Risa Groux: Benefits of Keto and Paleo diet

Almost everybody should be eating a, Paleo diet, It’s very safe and you could do it long term. It’s how I eat and really it goes down to the Paleolithic times. With the, Paleo diet, you can have unlimited vegetables. And so, you’re eating the philosophy of when we were created.

The, keto diet, stands for, ketogenic, and it’s basically getting the body in the state of, ketosis. When we are in the state of, ketosis, it basically changes our fuel source from carbohydrates to fat.

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Bio

Risa Groux, CN is a Functional Nutritionist and Certified Autoimmune Coach and author of FOODFRAME: Diet is a Four-Letter Word . She has always been passionate about nutrition and good health. Risa was so concerned about purity that she made her children’s baby food from scratch. Today she is passionate about cooking and creating healthy, nutritious food. She works with a wide array of clients from professional athletes, adults, and kids to the Biggest Loser from season four.

Risa works with issues like diabetes, autoimmune disease, cancer, digestion, thyroid, and hormone imbalances, to name a few. Risa firmly believes that the body can heal itself with whole foods we obtain from the earth and sees living proof of that in her office each day. She looks at root causes using functional nutrition guidelines, blood and stool tests, and knows that, weight loss, is a side effect of wellness.

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Diet and weight loss

We have to understand the root causes of, weight loss. Why is it that we have headaches, right? It’s not because we have a deficiency in Tylenol, right? Why do we have high cholesterol? Why do we have constipation? Why do we have depression, whatever it is anxiety, there’s a root cause to that it’s not because we have this deficiency and mitigation. We’re born with that.

Myrna: Are you saying that, weight loss, can always be linked back to our, diet, and what we are eating?

Risa: Not necessarily always what you’re eating, but what you’re eating is definitely hindering or helping, okay? So, if there could be a pathogen in your gut, there could be blood sugar dysregulation, there could be, low thyroid, all of these things. Where food absolutely is contributing to the growth of it or to the reverse of it. I’m always looking at those root causes. That’s why I do extensive blood tests and stool tests, because I want to know what’s going on. I’m not really good at guessing. I don’t play darts with the lights off.

That’s what we they do in conventional medicine, not, functional nutrition. So, we’re looking at, in addition to root causes, we’re looking for prevention, because in allopathic medicine, we look at our reference ranges, they get wider and wider and wider. I say to people all the time, you’ve got this raging fire in the basement, your doctor might give you a little squirt gun or you might be trying it with a squirt gun yourself, but I’ve had to bring in the hose and get that fire out because if we have a fire in the basement, we’re gonna hold on to all of our resources.

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What we eat is either helping or hindering weight loss

The body is not going to give it up because it may need it in the future. Right? It’s like I always say to people, you’ve got a raging fire in the basement, but somebody is on the second floor saying can you help me change the light bulb? Why I got this fire and you’re happy to change the light bulb once again. That’s another consideration is how much of a fire do you have? Right? What is making you not lose the, weight. So those are what we look at and, in my office.

I look at two foundational issues. One is, systemic inflammation. As I mentioned, that is the driver of disease we know that for sure with COVID people going into third stage, inflammation. The second is, gut health, and, gut health, is extraordinarily important.

In addition to some, inflammation, one is blood sugar dysregulation which we you know, I test for, insulin resistance, and most allopathic doctors do not test for that. So, I’m looking at a C peptide and a fasting insulin in addition to the C and glucose. So that’s number one is if you have insulin resistance, it’s very difficult for, weight loss. Number two thyroid dysregulation that is our metabolism. Our temperature gauge, it’s how we burn up fat and tells me why you are not able to lose weight.

The third marker for, weight loss, is cortisol, that is the stress hormone, right. So, stress really does drive up, cortisol, we will not lose weight when we have high, cortisol, or really low, cortisol, for that matter, either. And then for you’ve just named it, sex hormone, imbalance. That’s a huge reason why we can’t, lose weight.

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Toxins prevent weight loss

The fifth we can’t, lose weight, is an overload of, toxins. So that’s why I’m big on, detoxing. I do a detox all the time. I just had a detox shake just now. I’m always, detoxing, and it’s really important because we are inundated with chemicals. The FDA in America. This is a brand-new number. I hate to report it. We have been approved for 86,000 chemicals.

Myrna: Well, let’s spend a little time there. So how do you, detox, or how do you suggest that people, detox?

Risa: So, let me just give you some more stats there that 86,000, toxins. Over 3000 of which are foods that we can eat right? And let me just tell you that Europe just came out with a list of 1600 chemicals that they banned just for their cosmetics. At the same time, the US banded 11, so we have, toxins, everywhere. They’re in our makeup, they’re in our clothes, they’re in our paint. They’re in our furniture, they’re in our food. They’re in our cosmetics, they’re in our sunscreen in our shampoos or conditioners, our Perfume is, toxins.

But, detoxing, the right way is really important when, toxins, come into the system, the liver kind of deciphers. If it is an enzyme, typically even if it’s a, toxin, that goes to an enzyme, it goes out that’s great, but if it isn’t, it gets stored in fat tissues and fat cells. This is why we, lose weight, when we, detox. But, toxins, do a tremendous amount of damage. It stays in the intestinal lining, where they get reabsorbed all day over and over and over again. And one of the markers that we look for on blood tests is called the homocysteine and that tells us if you’re able to, detoxify, your own heavy metals and your own, toxins, so really important to look at that marker as well.

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Detoxify your liver to aid weight loss

But I, detox, probably three times a year. I have a lot of people in my office who do it four times a year even if you just did it twice here, you’d be way better off than not doing it at all. But I have my own, detox products, which your listeners have 10% off the detox for three months after it drops. Use coupon code Transform10 at Functional Certified Nutritionist | Risa Groux Nutrition You’re drinking collagen shakes filled with amino acids and antioxidants that help open up pathways one and two. And then you’re eating real foods, you’re eating animal protein, you’re eating unlimited vegetables, sweet potatoes, yams, and some good fats, eggs, nuts, seeds, olives, avocados.

Myrna: Okay, so that’s awesome. But yeah, you probably hit the nail on the head regarding my, weight loss, issues. I haven’t detoxed in a long time.

Risa: So yeah, let me tell you the philosophy that drove me to write this book. I’ve been doing what I do for many years. And I started to do their blood labs. And I realized that everybody is different. If you have low blood sugar, you’re going to eat very differently than somebody who has high blood sugar. If you have thyroid, you’re going to eat very different than somebody who doesn’t have your autoimmune same thing. So, what I started to gather is that we should all be eating according to our health status.

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Benefits and drawbacks of the Keto Diet

Lot of books come out and tells us this is what to eat, some say go on the, low lectin diet, it works for a lot of people, but it doesn’t work for everybody. And same thing with, keto diet. Keto, is great for a lot of people, but not everybody. I personally couldn’t get into the state of, ketosis. I kept trying and trying and I just couldn’t get into, ketosis, without exogenous health. So, I didn’t want to do that. People who don’t have gallbladders should not be doing, keto. People who have a lot of adrenals cortisol production stress do not do well on, keto.

Women typically don’t do well on, keto. So, I’ll start with, keto. I broke this down and created my, Foodframe method. And that is why I wrote the book, because I think it’s so important that not one size fits all. Keto, is not this new diet type that is going to be the miracle. It might be for some but not for everybody.

Myrna: Well, let me ask your question right there because, I wasn’t aware that, nutritionists, take blood. So, you’re testing your clients, and then you’re deciding on a nutritional plan for them. Is that only with, functional nutritionists, or, nutritionists?

Risa: I don’t know other conventional nutritionists or dietitians who take blood, but I do I order blood labs and stool tests because I don’t like guessing.

So, then I know right? I know if you have H Pylori, or if you have Giardia or you have Candida or you have parasites, how do we know that we’ve got a fire in the basement ongoing? So, keto, stands for, ketogenic, and it’s basically getting the body in the state of, ketosis. When we are in the state of, ketosis, it basically changes our fuel source. Everybody is born to have a fuel source from carbohydrates, sugar, carbs are turned into sugar and the pancreas to pumps that insulin. It creates that insulin and that insulin converts that sugar or carbohydrate and puts it into converts into glycogen puts it in the cell and it’s used for energy.

ATP is what we make from the, mitochondria, within the cell. This is difficult for people who have insulin resistance. I mean, it’s good for people who have blood sugar issues, because it helps, but when you go into the state of, ketosis, you’re changing that fuel source from a carbohydrate to fat. So, you have very, little carbohydrates and I mean less than 20 net carbs in a day, which is low, and maybe 5% of your diet is in carbohydrates. All foods have carbohydrates except for animal protein and fats like oils. Olives are really low. And so, what happens is your fuel source, you’re starting to create, ketones, we would see, ketones, in your urine. That means you’re burning fat for fuel, and it’s great for that person. Most men do really well with, keto, not all women do well with, keto.

Myrna: My husband does, ketosis, with intermittent fasting. He has lost over 30 lbs on this, keto diet.

Testing for the state of ketosis

Risa: Yeah, so that’s a perfect person for the, keto diet. Women don’t do as well. But again, this is not something I would recommend if you don’t have a gallbladder and don’t any fat malabsorption issues. If you have a lot of stress, it may not work for you either, but I would recommend getting a, urine stick, so you can check it every morning to see if you’re in the, state of ketosis.

Myrna: And let’s stop there for a minute. So, you can get a, urine stick, and check for, ketosis?

Risa: Yep, at Walgreens or CVS? That’s what I did is, I would pee on the, urine stick, every morning to see if I’m in the, state of ketosis.

Myrna: Yeah, that’s beautiful. That’s a great tip. Thank you.

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Benefits and drawbacks of the Paleo diet

Risa: So almost everybody should be doing, Paleo, rather and you can be doing it. It’s very safe. You could do it long term. It’s how I eat and really it goes down to the Paleolithic times. And so, you’re eating the philosophy of when we were created. We ate animal protein as clean quality as possible because there’s another source of, toxins. We have a lot of, growth hormones, and antibiotics in our meats. And then our chickens are just eating just grains and things that they’re not supposed to be eating and they weren’t born to eat, and our fish is farmed and filled with chemicals also.

So, it’s really important to eat good quality. With the, Paleo diet, you can have unlimited vegetables. Any way you want them except for deep fried. We make a couple exceptions like no corns, peas or string beans really very often. We take out legumes, we take out grains, we take out dairy, we take out sugar and processed foods. So, you’re having sweet potato, yams, good fats very similar to my, detox. My detox is very, Paleo. It’s really the easiest one to do. You can stay on it long term, and you’re really removing the high carb foods and the inflammatory foods, bread, sugar, dairy, alcohol, you can have a little bit of alcohol on, Paleo diet, like tequila, gin, vodka, things like that. No beer.

Myrna: One of my sponsors Greenchef set me up with, Paleo recipes. And I’ve been I’ve been cooking, Paleo, but I don’t know much about the, Paleo diet.

Risa: Benefits of, Paleo diet, is to decrease that, systemic inflammation, and increase good, gut health. So, it has a lot of fiber, which is really good for the microbiome. For general good diversity and, gut health. We’re removing the sugar are the dairy, the grains and the legumes. I’ll get into that a little later. We talked about, lectins, but they’re hard to digest.

Drawbacks of the Vegan diet

If you don’t have enough digestive enzymes in the system, you’re gonna have a hard time breaking down, and they’re also filled with tons of carbohydrates. I am a former, vegan, myself and I lived on beans, specifically a little bit of grains but not much and my blood sugars I just watched it go through the roof. I was almost pre diabetic. And it was just because I was eating so many beans at every meal. Lentils and garbanzo beans and hummus and black beans.

Myrna: I gained 3 lbs in the last 2 weeks because I was eating beans and oats!

In my book, I go in great detail with this such different types of, vegetarians and the, vegan, diet. Vegetarians, are eating Bread and Oreos, French fries, Cokes. You know, these are all vegetarian foods, but they are not good for us. They’re processed foods, so you can fall into that trap of processed diet. And occasionally I do meet a real, vegetarian, who actually eats vegetables, but they have to have some protein soy. So again, there’s the beans and the grains, nuts and the seeds. So, vegan, is not something I recommend for everyone. I really don’t recommend eating vegetarian or, vegan, for most people. But I do recommend eating a lot of plants food no matter what, because we were born to eat plants.

Autoimmune Protocol Diet is Paleo without nightshade

The, autoimmune protocol diet, is fairly restrictive. It’s an elimination diet. So, it’s 30 to 90 days and I wouldn’t recommend if you have one or two or more autoimmune, you go for 90 days as best you can. It’s very restrictive. It’s the, paleo diet, however we’re removing, nightshade vegetables. So that’s tomatoes, potatoes, opportunities except for sweet potato and yams, eggplant and peppers of any kind.

So, anything but black pepper, soy, paprika, red peppers, and you know jalapenos and then and goji berries and then we’re moving on nuts, seeds, eggs, so it is very restrictive. They bring it a little bit of fruit, but very little berries a little bit of apple things like that. But it’s pretty restrictive. And the whole point is to quell the, inflammation, that’s driving these antibodies that are causing that cytokine storm.

Myrna: I’ll circle back, so you’re saying that the foods that you remove are foods that contribute to, inflammation?

Risa: if you have, autoimmune disease, nightshade vegetables, are foods that are high in, lectins, which we’ll get to next. But, lectins, can cause inflammation. Yes.

Nightshade vegetables can cause leaky gut

Myrna; Dr. Steven Gundry has been talking about, lectins, and how these things go through your intestinal lining of your stomach, and you shouldn’t eat them? And I listen and I’m thinking why are tomatoes bad? But you’re just saying exactly the same thing, I don’t eat eggplant. I’m allergic to it. What are some of the, nightshade vegetables, again, I know there’s tomatoes what else?

Risa: Tomatoes, all kinds of potatoes except sweet potato and yams, different family eggplant, and peppers, any kind of pepper except for black pepper. So, Gundry he endorsed my book. He’s on the cover of my book. I’m doing his podcast actually in a couple of weeks. But he is actually right and all the research he did about, lectins. Lectins, basically, you know we all as human living organisms, we all have a defense mechanism, right?

If we’re being attacked, humans, we can kick bite, scream, flee, call 911 right plants don’t have that ability. So, what they have is what I call a hard candy around them and it’s around the germ or the seed. So, they say, I want to just survive and procreate, just like humans, right? Those are two main goals for the organisms. And so, they have this protective coating.

Now if you have a very acidic stomach, you have enough digestive enzymes in your gut, you’re going to be able to break, lectins, down. But even if you break those down, those, lectins, can cause a lot of, inflammation, especially somebody with a, leaky gut. So, Dr Gundry talks about a lot about, leaky gut, and I’m trying to I always try to explain it to people because we only have one layer of epithelial cells in the intestinal lining, just one and we have some villi there protecting it. But once you damage that layer, we have poke holes called tight junctions. And Gluten is a great helper to open up those tight junctions causing, leaky gut, and then next thing we’ve got food intolerances and, inflammation.

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What is a leaky gut?

Myrna: Can you explain what’s bad about a, leaky gut.

Risa: So, you don’t want a, leaky gut, because things are going through stress, toxins, food particles, organ malfunctions, bread, sugar, dairy and alcohol are all going through and causing your body to go in the state of, inflammation, and cause food sensitivities not food allergies, but food sensitivities. And if you do that long enough, you’ll create an, autoimmune disease, right? The antibodies are created so it’s got a place to it’s got to park itself, organ gland or tissue. So, for fibromyalgia, it’s your muscles. If it’s rheumatoid arthritis, it’s your joints.

So, you don’t want antibodies passing through your gut, you don’t want, autoimmune diseases. So that’s why you don’t want a, leaky gut. Also, it just impairs everything, brain fog, I mean, it goes on and on digestive issues, things like that.

Your FODMAP is an acronym and it stands for fermentable, oligo, saccharides, disaccharide, disaccharides, monosaccharides and polyols. And in plain English, that means different types of carbohydrates that cause a lot of gas production. This is what happens if you have, IBS irritable bowel syndrome, which is basically a non-diagnosis for some, inflammation. I find out on the stool tests how much you have, but if you have inflammation in the intestinal lining, you either have IBS or IBD irritable bowel disease, or SIBO, which I test people for which is small intestinal bacterial overgrowth and that is constant chronic bloating, and it’s paired with either chronic diarrhea or chronic constipation.

The FODMAP diet

So we’ll have either of those three, that is something that I recommend doing low, FODMAP, so these are carbohydrates that absorb water, and they tend to make you bloat and they create a in house, cellulite. It helps muscle it helps on hair, skin and nails. It helps joint pain. I have probably two servings of collagen every single day. It’s really good. It’s a great protein source and very low in carb, protein, fat and fiber. I started with coconut milk; I had coconut cream. I used it today, I had my chocolate collagen plus, which has the amino acids and antioxidants to help open up those detox pathways. And then I put some fiber in so I put in today I put in hemp seeds and spinach. So usually, I do a seed and a green and it is very, very filling, takes through the distance, your body doesn’t need anything else.

Myrna: Where can we pick up a copy of Foodframe: Diet is a Four-Letter Word? Your website, your Instagram handle and how people can get a hold of you for this amazing information that you’re given.

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Conclusion

Risa: Thank you. I recommend everybody find out what their foodframe is and you can take the quizzes, only 12 questions on my website risagrousnutrition.com. There you will find my book, there you will find my course, how to achieve optimal thyroid health, there you will find tons of articles and my product line, my detox, my collagen, and collagen plus that’s more the detox collagen. After you’re done with the, detox, you can stay on that for more liver detoxification. And then a plethora of other supplements. I have I have these amazing collagen bars that are delicious chocolate bars that are only eight net carbs and they’re great. I have one almost every day.

My Instagram is @risagrouxnutrition. My tick tock and Facebook are the same. I work with people all over the world. We do advise on zoom. So, anybody’s welcome to make an appointment. And we’ll order labs. We’ll send you a stool test at your home and then we’ll have you go to your local lab for blood work and then we’ll just watch you heal and, lose weight.

Additional Resources

How Ketogenic Diet Helps Reverse Diabetes

October 21, 2022

The Secret to Manifesting the Life of your Dreams

Every successful person first dreamed of success. But not everyone who, dreams, of success becomes successful. Success leaves clues.

In this episode I want to share with you the secrets of making your, dreams, a reality.

We are going to look at 6 well known celebrities and see if we can find the secrets to manifesting the, life of your dreams.

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How O.J Simpson manifested the life of his dreams

O.J Simpson, was a young boy who was born into poverty in a rundown section of San Francisco. This young boy became a fan of football legend, Jim Brown, then the running back for the Cleveland Browns. Even though this young boy was crippled by Rickets from malnutrition, he dreamed of one day becoming a star running back like his hero, Jim Brown.

Since he had no money to pay to see his hero play, he would wait outside the stadium for the maintenance crew to open up the gate in the fourth quarter and he would hobble on his crocked legs into the stadium and watch the balance of the game.

At the age of 13, he walked into an ice cream parlor one day after a 49’rs game against the Browns and came face to face with his idol, Jim Brown.

He went up to him and said “Mr. Brown I am your biggest fan. I know every record you’ve ever set, every touch down you’ve ever scored. Mr. Brown one day I am going to break every one of your records.”

Jim Brown smiled and said “That great Kid. What’s your name?”

The young boy smiled and said “Orenthal James Simpson my friends call me O.J”

O.J Simpson, did indeed go on to break all of Jim Brown’s records proving that, whatever you water will grow, and that, energy goes where attention flows.

So, what was O. J’s secret to manifesting his, dreams, of breaking all of his hero’s records and becoming the best even though he had crocked legs? Focus and determination. Whatever you think about you bring about.

There are more, rags to riches, stories than rich kids born with trust funds. Today I want to look at 6 other famous people who manifested the life of their dreams. We are looking for a common thread and that is the secret.

Some Names of, Rags to Riches, stories:

Oprah Winfrey success story

Oprah Winfrey, was born in the rural town of Kosciusko, Mississippi, on January 29, 1954. After a troubled adolescence in a small farming community, where she was sexually abused by a number of male relatives and friends of her mother, Vernita, Winfrey moved to Nashville to live with her father, Vernon, a barber and businessman.

Winfrey launched The Oprah Winfrey Show in 1986 as a nationally syndicated program that ran for 25 years, until 2011. With its placement on 120 channels and an audience of 10 million people, the show grossed $125 million by the end of its first year, of which Winfrey received $30 million. Winfrey went on to become the first Black woman Billionaire in the USA.

4 things that made Oprah manifest the life of her dreams

Oprah says the number one thing she relied on was her instinct. Women are born with instinct but we most times second guess our instincts and that is why we don’t succeed. We all have that inner voice that guides us. Oprah says “Every decision I’ve ever made that led me to the right space and place in my life, I got there because I relied on that inner voice.”

2. What is your intention?

Oprah says she read the book called “The Seat of the Soul” by Gary Zukav. In it, Zukav explains that intention precedes every thought and action and determines outcomes.

The principal of intention changed her life. “I started to make my decisions on what I intended,” she says. “What do I really intend to happen from the outcome of this decision or this choice?” I personally credit intention to my success as well. I read the book “The power of Intention” by Dr Dwayne Dwyer and used the, energy of intention, to design my life. Which is what I am teaching you guys to do.

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3. What are you grateful for?

“I practice being grateful,” says Winfrey, and she knows what you’re thinking. “And a lot of people say, ‘Oh Oprah, that’s easy for you ‘cause you got everything!’”

No, says Winfrey: “I got everything because I practiced being grateful.”.

Winfrey, has been keeping, gratitude journals, for years. “Some days she says you only have, ‘I’m still breathing.’ Because life gets in the way.”

Gratitude is one of the most powerful energies in manifesting the life of your dreams. Most of you want the things you are dreaming about before you can feel gratitude. The secret is to feel, gratitude, before you get it. You have to use your imagination to feel like you already have the, life of your dreams, and feeling, gratitude. That is how you move the needle.

Know your truth

You have to know yourself. You can pretend to others and fake it till you make it, but you should not fool yourself.

How Tony Robbins manifested the life of his dreams

Tony Robbins, was born Anthony J. Mahavoric in North Hollywood, California, on February 29, 1960. Robbins is the eldest of three children, and his parents divorced when he was seven. He is of Croatian heritage from both sides of his family. His mother then remarried several times, including a marriage with Jim Robbins, a former semi-professional baseball player who legally adopted Anthony when he was 12.

During high school, Robbins grew ten inches in a year, a growth spurt later attributed to a pituitary tumor. He has said his home life was “chaotic” and “abusive”. When he was 17 years old, he left home and never returned. Robbins later worked as a janitor and did not attend college.^] One day he asked the landlord on site, who was a family friend, about how he became so successful. The landlord then told him that he started to turn his life around after going to a Jim Rohn seminar.

Tony Robbins, is now the #1 Life coach in the world speaking into the lives of millions, including Presidents, and top executives.

He is also instrumental in my story as I went to his seminar in 1992 and started my journey to manifesting the life of my, dreams, from that seminar.

Here are the 4 modalities that allowed, Tony Robbins, to manifest the life of his, dreams.

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1. MOVE PAST YOUR FEAR OF FAILURE

If you want to make your, dreams, a reality, it’s critical that you move past your, fear of failure. Fear can stop you from even thinking about taking the first steps toward the life you want. Fear of failure, makes you feel like you are treading water in one place.

2. EXAMINE LIMITING BELIEFS

Fear of failure is one of the most common, limiting beliefs, but it isn’t the only one. Would you be surprised to learn you can also have a, fear of success? Other common beliefs are that we’re not deserving of love and success, that we’ve “always been” a certain way or that we are inherently “not good at” something. All of these beliefs are false, and you must identify and replace them to make your, dreams, a reality.

3. REVEAL YOUR NEEDS

Every human on earth is driven by one of the, Six Human Needs. If your top need is connection or significance, you may feel like you’re following someone else’s dreams in order to fit in or earn love. If you need certainty, you may need to break away from your comfort zone to make your dreams a reality. Discovering your top needs can change your entire perspective on life.

WHAT ARE THE 6 HUMAN NEEDS?

Certainty: assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure
2. Uncertainty/Variety: the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli
3. Significance: feeling unique, important, special or needed
4. Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something
5. Growth: an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding
6. Contribution: a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others

My top need is for contribution and service and that is why I try to speak into the lives of thousands on this show.

4. TAKE ACTION

Taking action is what Tony built his coaching practice on. In fact, he says to, take massive action. Tony says, “The path to success is to take massive, determined action.” Set goals and make a plan to get there. Hold yourself accountable every day. And never, ever give up.

Neal Donald Walsch secrets to dreams

Neal Donald Walsch – Twenty years ago, Neale Donald Walsch, was in deep struggle. He had lost everything – his house, his marriage, his health and his job. He spent a year living on the street. His life turned around the day he asked in despair, “God, what will it take for my life to work?” He was invited to step into another version of himself – the version that would share his greatest gifts with the world and publish the best-selling Conversations with God book series.

Neal’s strategies for manifesting your, dreams, are:

Live in the knowledge that you are one of God’s offspring and there is nothing you are required to do to “get better” or to be seen as perfect and beautiful to God.
Activate and tap into the full power of God by believing you are the Universe and all powerful.
Turn your feelings of anger, pain, fear and doubt into love. Love is an energy that facilitates change.

How Les Brown went from poverty to his dreams

Les Brown (born 1945) is a motivational speaker. Born into poverty and abandoned as a child, Les Brown, has gone on to become one of America’s best-known and highest-paid motivational speakers. His company, Les Brown Unlimited Inc., has made millions of dollars from the sale of motivational materials to a variety of audiences, from Fortune 500 executives to special education students and prisoners.

Les’s secretes for manifesting a, life of your dreams, are:

Have courage to go after your, dreams. “A lot of people do not muster the courage to live their, dreams, because they are afraid to die.
Give what you want to get. “Help others achieve their, dreams, and you will achieve yours.
You got to be hungry! “If you do not develop the hunger and courage to pursue your, dreams, you will lose your nerve and you will give up on your dream.

So, what do all these people have in common. They focused their attention on what they wanted and not their current circumstances.

Here are my secrets for Living the Life of Your Dreams

Use your imagination to dream big. As humans we are the only species that has the ability to imagine or daydream. Utilize this faculty to engage the, laws of attraction, and bring to you the desires of your heart.
Pay attention to how you feel. Dr Dwayne Dwyer says you got to feel good. When you feel good you attract good things into your life.
Launch your creation of your abundant life by launching your desires into the universe. Utilize prayer, meditation or any communication with infinite intelligence.
Be grateful for what you have right now.

Everyone has something they can be grateful for even if it is feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin or being able to walk in the rain. Do you know that people in prison would give anything to feel the sun or walk in the rain. Positive vibration attracts positive things and circumstances into your experience and your, dreams become reality.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of, Transformation Fridays, with coach Myrna.

Additional Resources

Your Focus Determines Your Actions

October 17, 2022

Using Spiritual Psychology as A Personal Transformation Tool

Spiritual psychology, is a lens that we look through that teaches us everything that’s happening in our life, is happening for us. That all of our challenges are beautifully designed opportunities, or I should say beautifully disguised opportunities giving us the steppingstones, we need to grow and evolve and transform. It is a, personal transformation, tool that helps us into our next level of protection to really fulfill our intelligence, which is the fullest realized expression of who we come here to be in this life.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11505423-how-to-use-spiritual-psychology-as-a-personal-development-tool.mp3?download=true

What is Spiritual Psychology

Donna: Spiritual psychology, is really a technology that was innovated and pioneered by doctors Ron and Mary Holman at the University of Santa Monica. Spiritual psychology, is a lens that we look through that teaches us everything that’s happening in our life is happening for us. That all of our challenges are beautifully designed opportunities, or I should say beautifully disguised opportunities. Giving us the steppingstones, we need to grow and evolve and transform into our next level of protection to really fulfill our intelligence, which is the fullest realized expression of who we come here to be in this life.

Book: Original Wisdom: Harness the Power of the Authentic You

And that’s what it is. It’s a perspective, right? It is a way to see the world and when we start seeing the world as if everything that’s happening is really this beautifully designed opportunity for us to grow and learn and change and evolve. And we start seeing the world from an empowered place, rather than seeing the world from a place of feeling victimized by life circumstances and life’s happenstance of life’s craziness.

Myrna: That is actually quite good. And I would get as you’re talking, I’m imagining myself in a coaching session, and you’re talking to someone, and they are saying Oh, my life has been very bad, and all these different things happened to me. And then you can turn that around and say, you know what, what did this teach you? What do you think that this revealed to you? What strengths did you bring out of that? That is a, spiritual psychology, session.

I am actually loving it. Now you guys are calling it a different name. But the Bible teaches that everything happens for your good. Actually, it’s one of the scripture verses that I that I adhere to, and it’s one of my foundation scriptures is that yes, everything happens for your good. So now that I’ve opened that door, so how do you use, spiritual psychology, as a, transformation tool, in your coaching sessions?

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Heart centered listening is one of the principles of spiritual psychology

Donna: Well, there are 33 principles and practices of, spiritual psychology. And so, I use each of these principles and practices to support the client in doing their life from a different place. And you know, two of our foundational skills the University of Santa Monica has entitled the skill, heart centered listening, and I call it, heart centered listening. The original name for seeing the loving essence I have renamed to big acknowledgement. A big acknowledgement is the recognition that you and I are, spiritual beings, on this epic human adventure. And when I recognize you also as a, spiritual being, having this public human adventure, then there’s something about that that makes us the same.

And when we begin to recognize that for every single person on the planet, then we can really recognize that we really are all one and we’re all in this together. We’re all facing the same challenges and the same trials and the same opportunities. You know, we all are in club human together, having this human experience.

Heart centered listening, is really about it’s about what you do all day in your in your job Myrna with these podcasts that you do and like deeply listening to another person giving them the space to share from a center heart opened place where they are free to explore their own consciousness. And download from the infinite universe kind of trickle into the conversation. And when we invite that, infinite intelligence, into the conversation, who knows what’s going to happen? That is why we call it, spiritual psychology.

Myrna: I love it. Yes, yes. You’re talking my language girl. Yeah, I you know, we are all love. I love Deepak Chopra. And you know, Deepak Chopra always says that we are all, spiritual beings, having a, human experience, manifesting through a, central nervous system. So, each one of us is manifesting, through our individual, human nervous system. But eventually we’re all we’re all connected.

One of the one of the things that he says, and I was even meditating on this morning, is that we’re all like a wave in the ocean. We’re all part of the ocean and each one of us is a wave. And so, what you are saying is beautiful. And you are correct when you recognize that we’re all one, and we’re all spirit and we’re all connected, that changes your perception on your struggles. Is that what you are calling, spiritual psychology?

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Spiritual psychology is the gateway to acceptance of our humaneness

Donna: Well, yes, it’s one way that you can go with it. And, you know, the longer I’m on this spiritual path, the more I realized it’s really about loving my humaneness. And I think a big gateway to, transformation, and how I work with my clients is really inviting them into a deeper level of reverence for their, human experience, a deeper level of acceptance for the human. A deeper level of acceptance for ourselves, you know, for how we fall short of our own aspirations in life, and how we relate to ourselves, when we’re going through something difficult.

That’s really where we have an opportunity to have a different experience in our life. I love what you were sharing about Deepak Chopra. And one of the things that the way that I like to say it is we are all unique, individualized expressions of, the Divine. And no two of us are the same, right? Every single one of us is this gorgeous depiction of, the Divine. And how magnificent is that? And it’s quite a miracle.

And it’s quite miraculous, but we overlook it on a regular basis. And so, I helped people slow down and tune in so that they can begin to recognize their power, the real power, the power that comes from inside of us, not the power that we think that we get from our job or for money or from a status position or anything like that. Helping people to recognize that they have this inherent power within them. And that power is a source of our aliveness. That is that power is the source of our expression out in the world as a drop in, the Divine.

Myrna: Very true. It’s actually very powerful. Very powerful, because, you know, one of the reasons that I concentrate so heavily on the, mind, is because that’s where it starts. It’s how you think is your thoughts is your thought process. And, yeah, once you recognize that, that you’re limitless, that you’re powerful, that you actually shape your destiny and that is all part of, spiritual psychology.

It doesn’t just happen, you’re shaping it by your thoughts and if you feel empowered, or if you feel a victim, you know, that’s basically my story as well. Yeah, you got to realize, you have power and instead of being stuck, you have the power to change your life, if it’s going in one direction, just like you did. You figure that yeah; I am just on a treadmill. And what did you do? You did something about it, right? You didn’t stay there and wait until you’re 65 and then say, you know, my life has been terrible.

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Reclaiming our authentic power

Now, one of the other things that we were talking about is how can we use consciousness to reclaim our, authentic power.

Donna: We have to become present, be in the, present moment, Myrna? We’re all so caught up in the future with the two dues right? We got to go here. We got to do this. We got to do that. And our mind, you know, our attention and our energy go into the future. Or we’re stuck in the past, right? We’re obsessing about I should have said this, or I should have done that. And we’re caught up in yesterday and what really is over that we can’t even change. But when we can be here in this, present moment, right now, and place our energy and our intention on person, the situation whatever is right in front of us. Then we are tapping into our, consciousness, in the highest way that we can at the time.

Myrna: Right. Yeah, that’s pretty good. Yes, because yes, consciousness, is definitely being present and nothing happens outside of the, present moment. A lot of people are always in the past or the future. But change only happens in the, present moment. So, that’s pretty good. All right. Now one of the things that you do in your in your work, is you talk about the, power of the I AM. So, talk to us about how you help your clients to using, I AM, to pivot for to help with their, transformation.

Donna: Thank you so much for asking this question. I see this as one of the most powerful tools that we all have in our toolbox. And it’s the two little, teeny tiny words, I AM, because when we say those words, we are making a declaration. We are making a proclamation to the universe. And so, I invite your listeners to just pay attention. What comes attached to these two little words in your life? Are you walking around saying, I am, tired? I am, exhausted. I am, sick. I AM, whatever. Because the back story that we’re telling, then those are the results that we are creating.

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Using I AM in transformation

And so, I see this as literally like using a magic wand. We are instantaneously reaffirming what we do want to experience, what we do want to occur. So, we can put our attention, our focus on that immediately and begin to say things like,

I AM, doing the best that I can in the moment.
I am, moving towards radiant health and wellbeing.
I am, vitality.
I am perfect, just the way God made me.
I am, accepting all of myself, no matter what society says about you.

So, it’s really a powerful way to change our current reality. And I talk extensively about this. I have a whole chapter called, I AM, or it’s called the responsibility of, I am, in my book “Original Wisdom: Harnessing the Power of the Authentic You.”

My book really talks about my journey and how I left the corporate arena, and Myrna it wasn’t a straight path. I gotta tell you, it wasn’t hiding guidance. I didn’t wake up one morning and said, I’m going to be a coach. It didn’t happen like that. And as a matter of fact, if you could have told me that I was going to be in these sacred, intimate, loving, connected one on one conversations with people I would have said oh, hell no, that’s never gonna happen. Because the time that my journey began, the, mindset, that I had, was completely different than the, mindset, that I have now.

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Mindset and personal development

Myrna: I know, we’re in the, personal improvement, and, personal development, space, and we grow along with people that we teach. I am listening and learning something every single day so we’re growing in that space. And for me, because I get to speak to excellent guests like yourself, I’m learning, It’s like a school for me. I’m learning from all my guests. And yeah, your, mindset, keeps shifting.

But I want to touch back on that, I am, statement because one of the things that I love saying is, I am the universe, and that’s basically what you were talking about. Earlier, when you said that we are, spiritual beings, right. And we’re part of the Infinite is the fact that, I’m the universe, right? The universe is inside of me. So now you coach, and you have your master’s degree. So why did you write the book and what is it that you want the readers to walk away with, after they put it down?

Donna: The truth is, I was really creating a workshop. I was putting together teaching points. And as I was going through these teaching points, I thought to myself, oh, I have a story for that. You know, I really want to illustrate that in a more visual way, in a way that people can remember or walk away with. And so, as I started compiling all of my stories, I kind of took a step back and I was like, that’s my story. It’s like my whole story. And after a little bit of rearranging, I unfolded, really this path and I don’t tell the story in a chronological way, because of the way in which, I AM, pulled each of the concepts.

Original Wisdom: Harness the power of the authentic you

I deliver a dovetail experience to it so that each of them builds on their previous one. And really, what I want people to walk away with is a sense of that, authentic empowerment, a sense that they are so much more, we are so much more than what we have been taught. And original wisdom is an inherent intelligence in all beings, that is rooted in unconditional love.

And when I think about, our spirit or soul, the energy of that is unconditional love. So, the intention of my book is to help people remember what their needs are. They are made of love. And we just have stuff that stands in the way of that. And that’s really what I help my clients do is remove those blocks, so that they can remember the truth of who they are.

Myrna: I love it. Where can we get a copy of your book and tell us about your website and tell us you know, you’re a coach and you do offer personal transformation coaching. So, tell us tell our listeners how they can get in touch with you.

Donna: All of the information can be found on www.Donnabond.com. And my book, of course, is on Amazon and all of the major book retailers out there “Original Wisdom: Harness the Power of the Authentic You.” And periodically I have a masterclass that I offer called empower the authentic you where I teach live, the concepts that I offer in original wisdom.

Additional Resources

How to Replace Bad Habits With Success Habits

October 14, 2022

Why We Have Trust Issues in Relationships

Trust, is earned, trust, is central to every relationship and, trust, is about intention. We have, trust issues, when we have fear of betrayal, or abandonment. This fear is often triggered as a result of past betrayal e.g. a spouse cheating on you. Abandonment, e.g your parents left you with your grandparents and never came back.

In this episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna we look at 4 types of trust what they are and how you can cultivate them in your relationships to avoid, trust issues.

Download the Podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11474504-why-we-have-trust-issues-in-relationships.mp3?download=true

How to develop trust in relationships

There are 4 types of trust are Care, competence, consistency, and character.

Let’s dissect each of these

Care – When we care about your partner, we put our emotions in their hands, they care about what’s best for you and not what’s best for them. They care about your well being. Examples of care are going beyond the call of duty to help you move, accompany you to a doctor’s appointment etc. We develop, trust issues, if when we need help, physical or emotional and no one is there to care for us.

A perfect example is if you have surgery and is totally dependent on your partner’s help for basic services like bathing, toilet or food and they abandon you. You would be scared for life and develop major, trust issues, in the future.

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Competence – The second type of trust is, competence. You trust that your partner is competent to handle financial matters. If you are sick, competence, to handle your care and make decisions that are best for you and not best for them. You, trust, their opinions and recommendations.

When you go into surgery that is life threatening, you will be asked to draw up a living will and a power of attorney. You need someone, competent, to handle not only the financial obligations but to talk to the doctors and make sure that you are receiving the best care.

Trust issues and Character

Character – When we talk about, trust, we are usually talking about a high moral compass or the, character, of our partner. We look to these people when we are not sure what is right and follow their lead. These people practice what they preach and are valuable in interdependent relationships. They have good reputation, strong opinion, and down to earth advice. They are trustworthy.

In most cases, our romantic relationships suffer the most from our, trust issues, because of, character. A person’s, character, prevent them from lying and cheating. Since, intimate relationships, are based on honesty and openness a partner who has, character, builds trust. This, trust, is the glue that binds the relationship, providing a positive emotional connection that’s rooted in affection, love, and loyalty.

Consistency – Your partner shows, consistency, when they are reliable, and you know that they always have your back. They may not be the expert, but they are reliable, present and available when you need them. They have been with you through highs and lows.

Trust issues, can be a sign that someone has experienced a significant amount of trauma — but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t working through their past experiences and learning, consistency. Trust issues, in a relationship can be hard for both partners to overcome, but with adequate support and communication channels, people with, trust issues, can have healthy, successful connections with partners — that aren’t ruled by their past.

Trust that people come into your life for a reason

These are the four types of trust that make, relationships, flourish.

People come into your life for a reason a season or a lifetime

Some people come into your life for a season bringing change and excitement, but the relationship ends like all seasons do.

Another person might come in for a reason to help you learn and grow or to support you through a difficult time. It feels like they have been sent to guide you through.

And they are lifetime people they stand beside you through thick and thin loving you even when you have nothing to give them.

Love is a gift without any strings attached. Trust love.

Remember you are also a season, reason or lifetime partner to someone else and your role may not match theirs.

Trust in Business relationships

Contractual trust, is useful in business.

Mutual trust, comes from a place of goodness.

Pure trust, is when you know that another person has your back.

You develop, trust, by asking for what you want.

Tell them how you want to be loved.

Communicate the areas Where there is dissatisfaction

Build trust by telling your partner what would make you feel loved Thanks for tuning into 5 mins with coach Myrna I want to invite you to join my private Facebook group called life coach so that you can be inspired all week long. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

Can You Handle Success Like Chris Rock

October 10, 2022

How To Break Your Attachment Style with IMAGO Therapy

Often when we’re mating or in the beginning of a relationship, we don’t know how it’s going turn out. We are not conscious of our, attachment styles, we don’t know how the dance is going to take place until the, attachment, takes place. After the honeymoon phase someone can be scared of intimacy and pull away or someone could be scared of abandonment and move closer. But these patterns don’t show up until a little bit later in the relationship.

Myrna: All right, Jessica. So as we start off, I always like to get a foundation so the listeners can understand your backstory. So what was your journey to becoming a, couples therapist? Tell me there’s a juicy story there.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11461587-how-to-break-the-cycle-of-your-attachment-style.mp3?download=true

Introduction to IMAGO Therapy

Jessica: Well, definitely through my own interpersonal struggles for sure. You know, I did a session or something called, IMAGO therapy. So it’s, I’m a psychotherapist and I went to a psychotherapist and I got I worked with, IMAGO therapy, which means image, and through that work, I started to develop an understanding of my own, attachment wounds, and how I was relating in relationships and that definitely made me want to become a, certified Imago specialist.

So that’s one of the things that I am passionate about. And then I started working with, substance abuse centers, and started treating families with a lot of codependency, and system issues. I also treated a lot of couples in my private practice. So I started to see these unconscious dances and these wounds play out and you know with, Imago therapy, there’s a lot of trauma that comes up in, relationships, you know, and so our wounds show up.

So I was starting to see this happen over and over again. And I was starting to help it in big ways in my office and see really powerful transformations come up in, relationships, and so through my own journey and through my private practice. Yeah, I just I wanted to get this information out to the world. I also in my early 20s, identified as a, codependent, and read every book on, codependency, I could get my hands on and it wasn’t until I discovered, attachment theory, later on.

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Codependency in relationships

I went to school and studied it for years until I really understood that, codependency, is a product of, attachment wounds, and how we relate and stay in connection, because that’s our biological imperative. So it was a combination of my own work and working with family systems and then working with couples that led me to want to write this book.

Myrna: That’s amazing. You unpacked a lot of stuff there. One, IMAGO therapy. I’ve never heard of it.

Jessica: I highly recommend, IMAGO therapy, or Emotionally Focused couples, counseling. Those are two modalities that you have to be extra certified in and they really work with the energy and dynamics in, relationships. Protection show up and the wounds start to show up and all of a sudden we’re having sensations and wounds, kind of these patterns showing up in our most romantic, relationships.

And we’re all kind of confused, but this is actually supposed to happen because what happened to us when we were younger is subconscious and then now we’re as adults and we’re partnering up all of that actually gets reenacted and hopefully can then get healed in relationship it with two conscious people doing the work.

So that’s why I really loved, IMAGO therapy, it’s not about a therapist sitting in a room telling you what to do. It’s actually led by this beautiful dance between the couple where the therapist is outside leading deep dialogue to help each person see where their wounding is, in such a beautiful way. It’s experiential. So it’s a process you go through and it just impacted me very deeply that I decided to get certified and trained in it myself and I’ve had a lot of success with it.

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Childhood trauma shows up in our attachment styles

Myrna: I guess everything is, trauma, because even if you were abandoned, or you were abused, it still in the trauma bucket. Right. So is that what you’re talking about?

Jessica: I’m talking about, developmental trauma. And so, trauma, has a big word and if you’re listening you might be like, I have no, trauma. But the truth is, our earliest experiences even though they might not appear like, trauma, how we relate to our primary caregiver, how rupture and repair happen, what those early interactions are, they shape your developmental process. And is the lens in which we see the world, they shape our physical body, they shape our nervous system and ultimately our, attachment styles.

So there’s a lot of impact that happens when we’re young that we don’t even realize it until we get intimate and close with another in our adult years. And so that’s essentially, attachment theory. But yeah, it’s adaptations. How we adapted when we were really small to stay in connection is or keep ourselves safe is usually how we will adapt in our, romantic relationships, when things get a little bumpy.

Myrna: Okay, all right. So I’m still trying to wrap my head around this one, so I’m pretty sure our listeners are too I’m thinking that, you know, we have had men and women seem to pick the same type of partner, they usually end up in, relationships, where maybe the man is abusive, or a relationship where they’re abandoned, but they seem to have these, attachments styles. So I think that’s probably where you’re going.

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Our attachment styles comes from embedded patterns

Jessica: Attachment styles, is a category but they’re really embedded patterns. That we form in our nervous system early on. And there’s four traditional, attachment styles, categories:

Secure attachment style- That’s someone who has grown up with an inherent sense of trust, doesn’t struggle with intimacy or feels okay being alone. They really are secure within themselves.
Insecure attachment style – There’s anxious which is the one I wrote my book on,
Avoidant attachment style – There’s fearful avoidant and so anxious people tend to have gotten inconsistency in their parenting. So they, there’s also a heightened anxiety and hyper vigilance.

We actually mirror our mother’s brain and nervous system when we’re developing and if our primary caregiver wasn’t consistent enough, we’re always kind of waiting for the shoe to drop. There’s a sense that connection isn’t going to stay the same, I got to keep my partner happy, or I have to bend over backwards to please them. We’ll tend to self abandon our own body as a way to survive.

I mean, it’s actually how we learn to survive and stay in connection in our earliest, relationships. Avoidant, attachment style, is really someone who didn’t get their emotional needs met well, and learn to kind of rely a little bit more on their own and they become more independent. They tend to be people who are really focused on career and who are successful and they are not as dependent, they don’t need as much connection.

3 Types of attachment styles

These two anxious and avoidant, attachment styles, tend to partner with each other. So just their inherent needs are so different because of their, attachment styles. And then there’s fearful avoidant, which is a embedded combination of both. So it’s a two way street. So you have your embedded patterns, but how they show up depends on also who you attach to and how their patterns combined with your patterns,

Then you have a combined embedded pattern dance between the relationship and I would say all, relationships, have a dance to some degree. So it’s complicated and it’s layered but usually you have one way of trying to get your needs met, whether that’s reaching out expanding, being dependent or being, interdependent, and isolating when you’re scared shutting down.

Myrna: I was thinking, attachment styles, I was thinking like attachment patterns. But what you’re talking about is is is how you show up in a relationship.

Jessica: Yeah, I mean, due to neuroplasticity, no one can say that any, attachment style, is static. We have the research to show that things are always changing and we will move towards warm connection and build new neural wiring and build new secure attachment. The more secure people we attach to not just our husband or wife but friends and colleagues. The more we have secure safe people in our life, the more self confident and the more inner security is built.

It’s actually, healthy dependency, or, inter-dependency, that we’re looking for. So if a baby felt like there was a lack of trust, and they will be dropped, and they couldn’t depend on their primary caregiver, where adults can actually depend in healthy ways on many different people who are safe and secure. You rebuild that inner security from within and it’s very changeable. It does require a little bit of work. But it definitely is a changeable thing.

Our attachment styles are changeable

Myrna: That’s good to know. That, you can be changeable even outside of therapy. If they form an attachment with someone that’s nurturing as an adult, they will start to build back as a whole person.

Why do we pick the same people?

Jessica: Someone who has an insecure base might not do this to secure person because their nervous system is very steady and calm that can feel boring and not exciting for them. So they’ll pick what’s familiar unconsciously. A lot of relationship type of psychotherapy says that our core wounds are going to come up no matter who we pick.

The subconscious is going to come up in those deep, relationships. But if you find yourself attracting the same type of person over and over again, the bad boy or bad girl, or an emotionally unavailable person, then that is an indication that you had an unavailable person in your childhood and there’s a familiarity there. And so you’re trying to repair.

Myrna: That’s what I thought we were talking about the, attachment styles. That’s where we’re gonna go is Yes, I know that you subconsciously. And I even heard that narcissists and people that are predators, pick up on the person that is that is insecure, and that’s the person that they attached to. Right?

Jessica: Narcissists are deeply insecure themselves. So there’s a sense of that going on in in them as well. But yeah, they can pick up on that or they will.

Myrna: How do we break that, attachment style cycle? Now, I think you touched on that a little bit just now that we picked things that are familiar. But let’s touch on the, attachment wounds. So let’s say that we had parents that didn’t see us, you know what I mean? We weren’t really totally abandoned, but we were not seen.

Jessica: Yeah, that’s always the, autonomic nervous system, picking things but our wounds exist inside of us. You tell yourself, I’m unlovable, I will be left. I’m unworthy. That’s an inherent sense that lives in our body. That’s not even the story. It’s a feeling that lives inside of us. So if we’re feel that way, we can even pick someone who make us at the center of their world. And as the relationship goes through phases, and they step away, whether they really step away or they really neglect the relationship. All the feelings of being unworthy or not being seen or being neglected are actually going to come to the surface.

We are triggered or awakened by past trauma

Because there was togetherness, and then there were separateness which happens in every relationship. So it’s going to trigger your feelings of unworthiness. The degree in which it brings it up as depends on the person that you pair with. If you have a turbulent relationship, it might just keep repeating that feeling and that sensation and again, that’s your nervous system going into fight flight, coming up with stories in your head to match what you’re feeling in your body, and you’ve just keep buying the same narrative over again.

Often when we’re mating or in the beginning of a relationship, you don’t know how it’s going turn out. There’s no protections up and sometimes you don’t know how the dance is going to take place until the attachment takes place. After the honeymoon phase someone can be scared of intimacy and pull away or someone could be scared of abandonment and move closer. But these patterns don’t show up until a little bit later in the relationship.

So it can be really confusing because something could start off really wonderful and go south really fast. And that’s because of protections and adaptations and your nervous system started to get really scared and it became unsafe really fast for one or both parties.

Myrna: So what exactly is a trigger? And what are some of the tools that we can use when triggered in relationship?

Triggers are formed from sensations stored in the body

Jessica: Well, if it’s sensational, it’s early memory, so if you are a teenager and you’re getting left, it can leave pain for sure. And there can be, trauma, later on in life. But if you have a really secure base, you’ll probably be like, Oh, you’ll recover much faster. When we’re really looking at memory, there’s different kinds of memory. We store memory first when we’re really young as sensation we don’t have a hippocampus fully developed. So the sensations are really big.

I don’t say, trigger, I like to use the word awakened because we’re awakening in these moments to painful things that are going on inside of our body. But if you know the nervous system, what we know is that we’re supposed to feel safe. So when you feel abandoned, your system will shift out of safety into fight. Flight freeze, or fawn depending on how you adapted in your patterns.

So when your body is going into an activated state, usually sympathetic arousal and your thoughts start blaming and projecting there’s a chance that you’re not feeling safe in your body and then that has activated something very scary inside. When I hear the work, trigger, I think of a gun and I think trauma and shame but really we’re awakening parts of ourselves.

Myrna: Wow. You’re doing good work. I am very interested in your in your research. It’s amazing. All right. So you have developed this method that’s called the, self-full method. You want to tell us about that?

What is the Self-full method

Jessica: It’s in this book that I just published called “Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love” I cover the, self-full method, deep in here In layman’s terms. I worked with a lot of, codependent, people who would come into my office and I would be like, you need to be more selfish. You need to learn how to take care of yourself and they would look at me like that’s a bad word.

Myrna: I just found out the other day you’re right that selfish just means taking care of yourself. It’s not a bad word.

Jessica: Well actually selfish is not great. But what I said is so selfless is that state I talk about constantly giving and giving and giving. And selfish is a state of taking care and protection. They’re not bad states, either one of them but they’re both sympathetic states of arousal in our nervous system. A, self-full, state is a norm as a calm state of connection where there’s fluid boundaries, there’s an ability to request your needs. There’s a sense of safety in the relationship.

Is being selfish a bad word?

And we all travel within the states all the time. But you might notice how I’m selfless in my relationship. I tend to self abandon, I tend to give a lot away, I tend to people please when I’m in a relationship because I don’t want to lose love and I tend to attract really selfish people. That’s a dynamic that you see a lot, so working towards a, self full, place is about doing your own inner work, and really being with more parts of yourself and understanding your nervous system in a new way.

Attracting someone who equally can give an exchange of these things so that you don’t keep giving, because the giving is an adaptation. And it’s coming from fear rather than always wanting to give. And even a selfish state which everyone enters are fluid, but if you enter a really selfish or close down or walled off state, it’s also a state of activation and a state of fear.

So those two tend to be the polar opposites of the spectrum. And so, self-full, is like a ventral state of connection. Getting yourself calm, being connected with yourself being connected with others feeling safe in your relationship. And so I’ve talked about how to cultivate that within your own body and your nervous system and in the, relationships, in your life and how to work with that and develop more, more capacity to be in a, self full, state.

Conclusion

Myrna: That’s good as you were talking, I thought of myself. How can women connect with you and get a copy of your book?

Jessica: Yeah, so I mean, my book is everywhere. It’s on Barnes and Nobles. It’s on Amazon, you name it. It’s everywhere. It’s going to be in seven countries, it is just really getting out there in the world. So you can just go on Amazon and put in Anxiously Attached, becoming more secure in life and love. You can also find me on Instagram @JessicaBaumLMHC. My website https://www.beselffull.com/ is where I have some of my online courses and the relationship Institute in Palm Beach is a private practice here in South Florida.

We do intense couples work trauma, I have a five therapists on my team. So we work to collectively to treat couples and system issues. So those are all the ways that you can find me. I’ve poured my heart and soul into that book for the last four years and I think if you resonate with someone who has, codependency, or you self abandon or you give yourself away, it’s really a healing path to forming a healthier relationship with yourself, but also getting that fulfilling relationship that you want and truly deserve on the outside.

Additional Resources

How to Overcome the Pain of Domestic Violence

October 7, 2022

How to Be Successful:10 Secrets to Success

I want to share 10, secrets to success, that are also my, secrets to success. I do believe that, success, leaves Clues. I have not achieved ultimate, success; I am still working towards it, but I am, successful, because I have succeeded in all the goals, I have set for myself.

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Definition of success

So, what is the, definition of success? Success, is defined the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.

We all think that, success, means the attainment of wealth and furthermore we think wealth is millions in the bank. But let me share with you a secret, you are wealthier that 95% of the world if you have a savings account, if you have a jar of coins, if you have food to eat and a roof over your head.

You are considered, successful, if you have achieved eminence which means you have a successful career or profession. How many of you know that you could have a PHD and be recognized with all kind of awards and accolades and still live in poverty. I say all that to say that I am, successful, even though I have not yet achieved great wealth.

My story is probably similar to a lot of people who achieved, success. Most successful people start off with nothing and I am no exception.

How to be successful

I was born in British Guyana, in South America. When I was born Guyana was very a poor country, it still is a Third World country. Both my mom and my grandmother were domestic servants and we didn’t have much. My Dad taught me at a very early age the value of education to elevate ourselves out of poverty. He was very smart. When I was born he was in Teachers College and went on to get his PH.D in in London in his early thirties. This is the first step in, how to be successful, education.

I’m submerging myself right now in the book “The Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton and I’m understanding from Dr. Lipton, that genes give us 50% of our character and the other 50% comes from the environment we grew up in. Looking back, I can say that as a child, because I was the first born, I was cocooned in love so, the environment that I grew up in, kind of nullified the poverty thing.

Self Improvement Book: Out of the Snares — Out of the Snares of poverty, and abuse

10 Secrets to Success

So let me share with you the 10, secrets of my success, as recorded in my book Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement.

Secret # 1- Don’t be a victim. Many women in the black community have been molested as children and I was one of them. We could use that story to become a, victim, of our circumstances and that stifles, success, because, victims, have no power. A, victim mentality, says that somebody did something to you and that person has the power over you. Instead, you need to become as a Player. When you are a player, I use the analogy of a blackjack game, regardless of what the dealer is showing, regardless of where you are and your circumstances right now, regardless of what you see physically in front of you, you can still play to win.

Rewrite Your Story

Secret # 2 – Don’t be defined by where you start out, rewrite your story. In the movie Maid in Manhattan with Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer Lopez was a maid and she lied about who she was so she could date a Senator, when she was found out and fired from the hotel, her manager told her just because we serve others, we are not their servants. They are no better than us because they have money. You are not inferior because you were born on the wrong side of the tracks or in a poor country. Your intelligence can take you from there and transplant you in the land of the riches. Another story I want to share with you is about Sydney Pottier. I was just watching his documentary on Netflix and he shared that he never saw lights, running water, a school nothing. He was born in a poor part of the Bahamas and when he first went to Nassau and saw the other side of how people lived, he was amazed.

Then he moved to Miami and started delivering food and encountered racism where because he was black, he was considered not worthy of anything. So he moved to Harlem where he saw for the first time, successful blacks. He decided to try his luck at acting, but he couldn’t read. He taught himself to read by reading the newspaper and got rid of his accent by mimicking a radio personality and he went on to become the first African American to win an academy award and star in the most iconic films. So regardless of where you start out in life you can always, rewrite your story.

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Secrets to Success: An abundant mindset

Secret #3 – Develop an abundant mindset – When I was a child, my parents were poor but I had a very wealthy Godfather. I spent a lot of time at his house and he treated me like one of his grandchildren. Because of my association with my godfather, I never wanted for anything. When I became an adult, this, abundant mindset, helped me always look at a glass half full instead of half empty.

I immigrated to Toronto, Canada at 17 years old. I immediately got a good job at a bank with no experience. After a couple of years, I decided to go to college. Canada is a country with lots of benefits. I was able to go back to school for free, unemployment insurance from my job paid for my schooling. I graduated with a degree in computer science and I decided to go to sell computers because I understood that that’s where the most money was.

When you have an, abundant mindset, you look at the world as having everything you need and you don’t see lack. Because of this you attract into your experience abundance.

Secrets to success: Unleash the power within

Secrets to success, #4 – Unleash the power within. As I mentioned, after graduating from College, I took a job selling computers. A couple years into selling computers, my company received an invitation to attend a free seminar with Tony Robbins called, Unleash the power within. How many of you know that everything you need to be successful in life is pre-loaded into you at birth.

Joel Osteen says, we are all like a luxury car, we come pre-loaded with all kinds of luxury features and all we have to do is read the manual to figure out how to work them. Unleash the Power within, opened up to me my pre-loaded characteristics, I went into that seminar as a salesperson, I came out of that seminar an entrepreneur. Two months later, I started my own limousine service and went on to become the largest female operator in Toronto, Canada and winning the Entrepreneur of the year award.

Secret to Success, #5 – Persistence, never give up. If you have a goal or dream, never give up on it. My favorite mantra is “If you build it, they will come.” I have had several goals and dreams that I stuck with and, never gave up. My book “Out of the Snares” reads like a suspense novel as I give details about achieving my dream of becoming an American Citizen. I, never gave up; it took me 3 tries and 10 years but, in the end, I received this benefit.

I also kept looking for love, I have been married quite a few times until I found the man of my dreams.

I started my radio show and podcast 7 years ago and kept building and building. I knew I had to put in the time and finally, I have achieved, success. So, make persistence your top characteristic and never ever give up on your dreams.

Secrets to Success: Guidance from your higher self

Secrets to success, #6 – be open to guidance from the Divine or your, Higher self. You have to live consciously to be in communication with your spirit guide. I know now that the things that we see and the things that we pay attention to, is the universe speaking to us and directing us to our purpose.

The way to open yourself up to guidance from your, higher self, is to meditate and quiet your mind. I am most open to inspiration when I wake up in the morning and I act on all my inspiration messages so as to keep them coming.

Secret to success, #7 – Action. I am not one of those people who think about things for years and do nothing. I get inspiration and I move. Case in point. One day I was flipping through a newspaper and I saw the word Life coach under the name of one of my church members. I had never heard or seen that word before.

I was reading this book at the time and the author was saying that if you would like to find out how someone is achieving success buy them lunch or dinner and pick their brains. So, I invited my church sister to lunch and asked her everything I needed to know about becoming a Life coach. I didn’t waste any time, I took,action. I was enrolled in University of Miami coaching program the next month! Like I said, I move, I take, action.

About a year after becoming a, Life Coach, I received an invitation to be a guest on a radio show and talk about my, secrets to success, The show was aired on WDJY 99.1 Metro Atlanta. Hype Media Global owned the station and they loved my personality and my content and offered me my own show! The rest is history. The radio show turned into a podcast and a television show on Preach The Word Worldwide Television Network , Action, is the first step to the rest of your life.

Secret to Success: learn as you go

Secrets to success, # 8 – Jump in and, learn as you go. As I mentioned, when Hype media offered me my own show, I didn’t hesitate by saying I don’t know what to do. I had to learn to interview, I had to learn to produce my own show and then learn how to convert it to a podcast. I learned as I went on, then I had to learn how to write a blog, then I had to learn how to edit my website, how to do SEO, Etc. I am still learning every day.

Secrets to success, #9 – practice meditation. There are so many benefits to, meditation. For me, meditation, allows me to control my energy and vibration. When you relax your body and quite your mind from thoughts of the past or future you are able to concentrate on the, present moment. The, present moment, is the only thing that matters, it is really a present.

The benefit for me is that I know that when I have positive vibration, I attract the good things. If you want to be, successful, you need to engage the, laws of attraction, to bring you what you dream about. The only way to do this is to control your energy. Meditation, relaxes mind body so that your spirit which is your, subconscious mind, can get to work. This is how you become the co-creator of your life. So, meditate and concentrate on what you want because where attention goes, energy flows!

Secret to success: Transform Your Mind

Secrets to success, #10 – Transform your mind, I encourage everybody that’s listening to this podcast or reading this blog, to look at what beliefs and behaviors are not serving you and replace them. It is not easy because most of us live unconsciously, but awareness is key.

Look for the opportunity in any setback. I’m an optimist. I am not sure when this started, but I’m an optimist. Optimism is one of the foundations to, secrets to success, anytime something happens to me or I receive any kind of push-back, I look for the opportunity in it. What I’m talking about is, transform your mind, to obstacles or setbacks; when one door closes another door opens. Don’t spend too much time looking in the rear-view mirror, you are not going that way.

I was working for Office Depot when Office Depot and OfficeMax merged and they fired me and gave me a great severance package. I had worked for Office Depot for ten years. With that severance package, I started my own business and went into it full time. I never looked back. I had coworkers who wallowed in self-pity. What am I going to do? How am I going to find a job at 50 years old? Cry, cry.

I heard Oprah say it a different way.

The sun is always there even when the clouds are covering it. The sun is still shining underneath, you just can’t see it. Always look for the silver lining, if you look for it, you will find it.

Live your life with intention. Intention is energy, it’s thought. Before you do anything, it first has to be a thought in your brain. Before you can hold anything in your hand you first have to hold it in your head.

These are my, secrets to my success; I hope you can make them yours.

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into, Transformation Fridays, with coach Myrna. I hope you were inspired today and look at, success, differently. I hope to see you back here next week for another episode of, Transformation Fridays. Until then Namaste

Additional Resources

How to Unleash The Power Within

October 3, 2022October 3, 2022

How To Use Visualization to Enhance Yoga Practice

Visualization, allows you to use your mind to alter your reality. In yoga you can use visualization to enhance your mind body connection. My, Yoga teacher, used to say, visualize, you’re cracking a walnut between your shoulder blades. Standing in, Mountain Pose, or, tree pose, you can use, visualization, to imagine you’re rooted down through your feet into the ground and bringing that energy back up through your legs and spreading it throughout your body. This is how you use, visualization, to enhance your, yoga practice.

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Back pain led me to yoga

Myrna: Were you attracted to, yoga, because of back pain?

Dianne: Yes, In my younger years, I was a little bit resistant to, yoga. I’ve always liked to work out as part of my, stress relief. A big part of my, stress relief, and I felt like you know, I had to be doing something a lot more intense than, Yoga. I hadn’t had as many experiences with, yoga, because there’s so many different types of, yoga, and so many ways to do it as you were describing one of many, so I was a little bit resistant.

Then yes, two things happened about simultaneously and one was, I started having, back pain, after the birth of my second child, and so I was looking for ways to manage that pain. There were periods of time when it would become more intense. So all I could do was either do walking or do, yoga, and I was kind of worried that I would start to gain weight and that I wouldn’t have that, stress relief, that I craved.

But I found out that you know that that wasn’t the case. I was keeping the weight off. And the, stress relief. There’s so many different kinds of, yoga, which I hadn’t realized in the past that it was working for me. And around that same time, the fitness center where I went had a new, yoga teacher, and everybody kept saying, you have to try her. She’s so good and everything and I probably still resisted for about six months, I would say I don’t know exactly how long but I did really connect with her.

Just the way that she approached it and was able to it was a little bit more of a, flow yoga, but she also teaches the breath practice because I hadn’t ever learned how to breathe even with all this exercising. I had never learned correct, breathing techniques, for exercise. Or for life for that matter. So those those two events actually really started me on, yoga, then as kind of my Friday treat.

Just feel good for the weekend, reward myself and then you know, have a good start to the weekend and then with having to manage the, back pain, and became you know, more of a maybe not a daily practice then but at least a few times a week.

Yoga allows connection to mind body spirit

Myrna: Yoga, Obviously one of the beautiful things about, yoga, is the breathing you know, combining, mind and body, and with the breath. I just started doing, morning yoga, last week, and we’re starting with some simple exercises. You’re right I mean, if it’s almost like if you’re an old person that’s sitting in a chair because we’re doing things with our hands. Right, regular stuff like raising up your shoulder and, you know, doing your neck, things like I would do at the beginning of a workout. The warm up exercise.

But guess what, everything that you do, you’re doing with the breath. I’m breathing with the, yoga, actions, it’s actually doing something for me, right. So, you know, Sadhguru would say, you know, there’s the mental thing about, yoga, and he’s talking about the geometry of your body when you go in certain poses that connects to different things and, and all that stuff. So what kind of, yoga, do you teach? I know we’re going to talk about, visualization, in a little bit, but set up your basic, yoga, that you that you teach.

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Dianne: So I’m not going to try to give it a name because probably a combination. There’s so many kinds and for me, probably if I did a little exercise, we’re matching the type of, yoga, with a definition I’m not sure how good I would do. But I my favorite, yoga, to teach and to do would be we call it 3030.

Where it’s about 30 minutes of, yoga, where it’s a little bit more active movement on the breath. A little bit more energetic and then 30 minutes of more relaxation and not necessarily the the 30 minutes first of the intense so you might do like, you know 10 or 15 minutes starting out with the stretches kind of like warm up like you were describing and then move into the flow or the physical aspects of it, and then wrap it up with you know, some more relaxation relaxing stretches.

That that that is just my personal preference. I have done all kinds of classes and there are some where you actually hold the poses for a long time and that’s just to work, you know more deeply into the muscles and then there’s, there’s some types of yoga that are basically it’s the same sequence each time and that’s so that you can you’re not thinking about the sequence but you’re thinking about the other aspects of, yoga.

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Yoga allows you to experience deeper meditation

Myrna: Okay, something that I ran across that I thought was really interesting is way back when I don’t want to say when, yoga, started, but they really started to do the poses so that people could sit in meditation longer. That was the whole purpose. It’s like, you think of a child, a small child you burn off their energy so that they can sit for longer and that was the original intent. Behind, yoga, was was not the poses that was a vehicle to get into a deeper level of consciousness.

Well, that’s the thing actually that you know, like I said, Sadhguru, was talking about, yoga, connects us with, higher consciousness. They connect with the, Yoga, and they’re saying that, yoga at home, is not all of it dispatches that, yoga at home, is about, the breath and connection and what you just said, you’re linking in the fact that maybe if you learn to hold your body in a certain way, then maybe you can sit and meditate for longer times.

Indians as you know, they incorporate, yoga, with, spirituality, and, higher consciousness, so that’s awesome. And it all has to do with your right the, Mind Body Spirit connection, you know, the mind. Maybe with the, meditation, aspect, the body with the poses, and with, spirituality.

Dianne: I did have back surgery that was moderately successful, so after that I used, yoga, to help me recover. I had to be under the care of a physical therapist, so after that, it became more about managing my, back pain. And now I’m at a very good place, but yes, there’s specific poses to benefit your back and your core, obviously, the opposite of your back is your core. So it’s important to have a strong core.

If you have a lot of, lower back pain. There are certain poses that you shouldn’t do or that you should modify. And the old me the younger me, especially in public would never have done that, but it was, yoga, has taught me it’s some acceptance that way. I know that that doesn’t feel good. And I’m not going to try to push it beyond or even sometimes doing, yoga, in the morning as opposed to at the end of the day.

Some, yoga poses, are not as accessible and I’ve learned to to accept that so a lot of, lower back pain, have learned us from the high tight hamstrings or sciatic nerve. And so there are specific, yoga poses, even sequences that focus on those specific specific muscle groups.

Benefits of visualization with yoga

Myrna: Let’s talk about the, visualization, piece now. What are the, benefits of visualization? And why is it beneficial to integrate, visualization with yoga?

Dianne: So, benefits of visualization. They are there’s a lot of them. And going back to what you said earlier about the brain and how it changes the brain. The brain responds to visual stimuli. And when you use, visualization, you can trick your brain into having the same physiological response. That you would have like let’s say, if you’re standing by a nice relaxing Lake, if you visualize that relaxing Lake, your body and your breath starts to show some of the same reactions you would have if you were actually standing right there by the lake or the relaxing waterfall.

So just an example of this real quick would be imagine that you have a lemon and you cut it in in four pieces. And you take the lemon and put it in your mouth and take a nice big bite down on it. So what happened when you did that?

Myrna: Saliva started coming out of my mouth and my saliva glands started to prickle.

Dianne: Yep, a lot of people will even start to pucker or make that sour face. So that just goes to show that even with that simple example, how you had that physiological response, and that was just a simple exercise. So that’s what builds those those kind of neural pathways and then as you do that, like if you do that, I don’t want to say the lemon, but let’s just go back to the relaxing lake or waterfall or something.

The more you do, visualization, you do build those neural pathways where it becomes like you can access that quicker and that therefore have the physiological response quicker and be able to take yourself there it also becomes more automatic. Oh, yeah, even like take a breath and it’s like oh, yeah, I have to slow might slow my breathing down or I’m getting too too ahead of myself here.

So it really does build those neural pathways and change your brain. It also just like exercise releases, serotonin, that feel good hormone. So it very much is like a form of exercise that way. What you mentioned about the memory, the more ways that you’re you can the more senses you can bring into something, then the easier. It is to remember that so, visualization, is an is another tool for that.

Benefits of yoga

Oh, there’s so many. Right now with our technological society. Anytime that you can unplug from technology, you’re actually allowing your brain to unclutter and to that which promotes creativity, and positive feelings. Just all of those, benefits of visualization, just just being away just having a quiet moment. That’s one thing that I always try to incorporate or give to people and that’s what my, yoga teacher, explained to me.

I just want them to have a moment, a moment of quiet so just again to oh one other thing that I learned was kind of new to me but increase your immunity. If you are less stressed, you sleep better, those are two big factors in boosting your immune system. So, visualization, can help you whether you do it while you’re falling asleep or whether you do it in your, yoga practice. It can help you actually boost your immunity which we all need that too.

Myrna: I love, visualization, and you know is actually good to mention that the brain doesn’t know the difference which is why we advise action is so powerful. Whether want to call it visualization or you to it imagination. The brain doesn’t know the difference between, visualization, and reality. So yeah, I mean, if you were, you know, laying in your bed and you were thinking that you’re in a beach and you’re listening to the waves, like you said, bringing in all the different elements, you know, feeling the breeze on your face, hearing the waves crashing, seeing the palm trees swaying in the wind, and you’re bringing in all those things, right? The brain doesn’t know whether you’re there or not.

So that’s the beautiful thing about, visualization. Right? But it can also work the opposite way like you’re laying in bed, and you’re visualizing that somebody is coming through your door to kill.

Dianne: Exactly. I was thinking as you were talking, if you don’t believe it, because some people are like, Oh, I don’t believe that, but if you think of the opposite, or how many times have you been worried about somebody driving or something and you’re like, Oh, they’ve been in a car accident. I just know it your mind makes up images, your heart starts to beat faster, I think we’ve all experienced that. So you can use it either way. Yes, exactly. And we talked about anxiety and that was part of the reason some of it that I started doing, yoga with visualization.

Benefits of Yoga

Dianne: Well, as you can tell, because we talked at the beginning about some of the, benefits of yoga, and then we just talked about some of the, benefits of visualization, and that is they overlap a lot but you know, the serotonin that benefits to your body, mind and soul and soul or spirit however you want to refer to it. So they really complement each other nicely. If you’ve done, yoga, you probably have done some, visualizations.

My, Yoga teacher, used to say, visualize, you’re cracking a walnut between your shoulder blades and that helps to, visualize, the, yoga pose, if you can’t get the right. Even standing in Mountain Pose or, tree pose, use, visualization, to imagine you’re rooted down through your feet and you bring that energy up through your legs and you’re spreading it throughout your body and your shoulders.

So, I would say that you’ve probably experienced it a little bit that way. Sometimes in Chaturanga they’ll say imagine you’re pushing away from the floor or you’re pushing the floor away from from you. So there are those kinds of cues that are used in many, yoga classes. Also, a lot of times, they’ll start with you know what is your intention, they’ll either maybe give you an intention, like concentrate on being here now or you want to concentrate on peace.

So that was really when I started teaching, yoga, that I looked for a resource like the book that I wrote, and I couldn’t find one. I begged borrowed and stole little bits of pieces from, meditations. I wanted a resource like the one I wrote and I couldn’t find one.

Myrna: Okay. All right your book have 20, visualizations, to enhance a, yoga practice, right?

Dianne: Okay, so yes, in the book, there are five chapters. There’s self acceptance, awareness or confidence, gratitude, letting go or relaxation and focus and engagement. I’m going to walk you through just using a little bit of from one the mountain, the majestic mountain, if you will, and each, visualization, has specific parts and the first part is the setting the stage.

Starting with the breath and then having them with visualization. So I’m just gonna read like a short little snippet from what I wrote and then I’ll move on to the next section.

Visualization with Yoga: The mountain pose

So at the base of your mountain, I’ve already gotten them into, Mountain Pose, are the waves of the ocean. Feel the coolness of the water and hear the lapping sounds. At times the waves are gentle and relaxing, barely touching your base. On other occasions, they’re more turbulent hitting against you with more force, yet you remain strong. Sometimes the waves rise ferociously to your shins, your waist, and even your chest, but they don’t knock you over.

Eventually, the turbulent waters pass and the gentle waves again lap at your base. There may be changes to the mountain surfaces, but not to the core. It’s similar with yourself. Turbulence might cause changes, but you’re strong and steady.

If you purchase the book, you get a journal entries with it, if you download them and so part of one of those for this particular, mountain pose, visualization, you would journal what are those turbulent things. What are the unchanging parts of you, because we all you know, have to change as we go through more experiences and, and challenges but you know, what’s at your core that you’re not, you’re not going to let go of, so just get started that way.

The core of the, mountain pose, or the core of yourself and then exhale, things that get in the way of that. But then there’s also like some specific poses, that I’ll give some cueing for, just to give some examples of how the cueing or how it could go with a specific pose. And this one actually has warrior and tree pose.

If you’re using, visualization, with the, tree pose, there’s water lapping at you and threatening to knock you over, but you’re gonna remain focused, because that’s a big aspect with three poses. You have to look somewhere in front of you and maintain your focus. You’re not going to let those things distract you from your goals or get in the way of your goals.

But you’re going and like before you go into the relaxation and you come back to again, like the mountain so what’s changed about yourself throughout this practice, like do you notice changes in your breath? What about your thought patterns? What about you know? How do How does your body feel?

And then the very last section is the affirmation which I call the booster and it just says, While I may be faced with turbulence, my core remains unwavering. So it’s just something for them and sometimes I’ve printed them off and handed them to people as they walk out the door. Other times, it’s just something you know, keep this in mind as you go forth through your day and kind of wraps it up that way. I do want to throw in that. If you if you didn’t do, yoga, and you weren’t interested in doing, yoga, you can still use the book as a, guided meditation.

Book pathway to peace: 20 visualizations to enhance you yoga practice — Book pathway to peace: 20 visualizations to enhance your yoga practice

20 visualizations to enhance your yoga practice

Myrna: Tell us about your book “Pathways to Peace: 20 Visualizations to Enhance Your Yoga Practice” What do you want the readers to walk away with after reading the book?

Dianne: Well, I want them to have a tool for self care. So, as we’ve talked about it, we’re so busy, our lives are so cluttered and can be at times, very stressful. I think that is on the back cover on my book Life is stressful that not many people would argue that fat, but please, you know, take take a minute or however you don’t take care of your body. Take care of your mind, take care of your spirit or your soul and you will be a better spouse, you’ll be a better employee, you’ll be a better parent, a better child. It everybody matters. And I want and it matters that you take care of yourself and I want this to be a tool for for helping you for helping you do that.

Visualization, is a tool for the, mind body spirit connection. So that is what, yoga, promises, and then when you incorporate the, visualization, into it, it makes it a very powerful tool.

Myrna: So, alright, so tell us how listeners can get a copy of your book. Tell us about your website, your social media handles and how people can connect with you. And I think you mentioned that you have an email address that you wanted anybody to, you know, contact you maybe regarding yoga and yoga practices or things like that. So go ahead and share that with us.

Dianne: Okay, so my book, Pathways to Peace is available on Amazon and it’s a paperback or ebook. In the book, there is a free gift and that would be some of the journal pages that I have referred to. And then I have a Facebook group called pathways to peace. If you have questions or comments email me @willgingdianneauthor@gmail.com.

Additional Resources

Master Lama Rasaji: Harmonizing Mind Body Spirit

September 30, 2022

Goal Setting: How to Set Strong Goals Like Tom Brady

Tom Brady, says, the key to success lies in, goal setting, and taking massive action towards the attainment of these goals. Tom says a hundred years of psychological research has taught us that, setting strong goals, matter, if you want to improve your chances of succeeding.

As Millennials graduate from high school, graduate from college, or get engaged to be married, a formula on, How to Set Strong Goals, should be prominent their minds.

In each stage of life, we should have, short term goals, and, long-term goals. Short term goals are goals you would like to achieve within the year and, long-term goals, are goals you would like to achieve in let’s say 10 years.

So, if we were to ask a young lady what her goals after graduation are from college, her short-term goals, would probably be either get a job and start supporting herself or enroll in a graduate program.

Today I want to teach on, goal setting, not just having a mediocre goal but a strong goal, set SMART goals.

I always like to use stories as an illustration so today I want to use, Tom Brady, goal setting as a demonstration of how to, set SMART goals

Download the podcast here:

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How to Set Strong Goals like a Champion: Tom Brady

A, strong goal, is a map to your destination. It is like a seed!
Plant, strong goals, in your mind and it will be the most important decision you make in your life. Then Care of your planted seed every day.

Tom Brady’s story on goal setting

By the mid-2000s, Tom Brady, was the undisputed king of the gridiron. In 2002 he became the youngest quarterback in the history of the National Football League, NFL, to lead his team to a, Super Bowl, victory. Two years later, in 2004, he proved the magic was still strong when he led the New England Patriots to their second, Super Bowl, title in three years.

In addition, Tom Brady, was named the Super Bowl’s Most Valuable Player (MVP) in 2002 and 2004. The dimpled, clean-cut quarterback had reached career heights that most veteran football players envied, and he had done it all before he was thirty years old; But, Tom Brady, ONCE HAD SIMPLE DREAMS

In the pride-swallowing days at the University of Michigan, when he was constantly trying to prove that he deserved to start, Brady used to sit up at night with his good friend Aaron Shea and talk about what they’d do when they made it big. Shea, a tight end for the Wolverines, used to rattle off the typical 20-year-old dream purchases. He wanted a Hummer and a Ferrari. Then Shea would ask what Brady wanted.

“‘If I hit it real big,'” Shea recalls, Tom Brady, telling him, “‘I want to be able to wake up, put a pair of socks on, and at the end of the day, I throw them away.’
“I’m like, ‘That’s all you want?’ And he goes, ‘Yeah, that’s what I want. I love new socks!'” But somewhere along the line, he got big dreams. Dreams of being the best!

Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

Setting the goal to be the greatest to play the sport

Tom Brady, was so intent on winning and becoming the very best in history to play his position, that after the Patriot’s lost to the Broncos in the AFC championship game in 2016, he had a countdown clock installed in his home gym. I am sure because he wanted to be the undisputed champion and Peyton Manning had won, this round! Competition brings out the best in us.

Throughout the year the countdown clock served as his constant reminder of his goal. A countdown clock says to his, subconscious mind. I will achieve this goal, it is mine, it’s just a matter of time so I am counting down!

The world was the witness at, Super Bowl 51, of, Tom Brady, manifesting of this goal. Down by 25 points at the half, Tom Brady, and the New England Patriots came back to win the game in overtime making Brady the best ever at the game!

With his mother in attendance at the NRG Stadium in Houston and millions of fans watching, Tom Brady, did not disappoint. In a thrilling game, the first that went into overtime in, NFL, history, Brady led the Patriots to a 34-28 victory over the Atlanta Falcons. With this historic win, Brady became the first quarterback in, NFL, history to take home five, Super Bowl rings.

Tom Brady sets the goal of 7 Super Bowl rings

He surpassed quarterbacks Joe Montana, one of his idols, and Terry Bradshaw, who both have four Super Bowl, wins. He also was awarded his fourth Super Bowl MVP for leading a 25-point comeback and throwing a Super Bowl-record 466 passing yards. Super Bowl LI was Brady’s seventh championship, which is also an NFL record for the most Super Bowls played.

Brady failed in his bid to become the best and most decorated quarterback in history when he lost to the Eagles in Super bowl 52; but how many of you know that failure is not final.

He took his talents to the, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and in his first season with the Buccaneers, was a major success, as Tampa Bay won 11 games and earned a playoff spot. In the postseason Brady led his team to three straight road victories to advance to the, Super Bowl. There the, Buccaneers,’ standout defense and Brady’s solid play led Tampa Bay to a decisive victory over the Kansas City Chiefs to capture the team’s second (and Brady’s seventh) championship. Brady’s set the, strong goal, to the greatest to ever play the game and he succeeded because when you have a goal and you don’t give up on it, you always win that is why

Coach Lombardi advise is “Never, Never give up, Never ever Quit because Quitters never win”

SMART Goals, have a powerful supernatural energy attached to them!
They activate the subconscious to go to work for you.

In the book “As a man thinketh” by James Allen, Allen attaches the energy of thought to goals.

James Allen: Add Thoughts to Setting Goals

Those who have no central purpose or goals in their life fall an easy prey to petty worries, fears, troubles, and self-pitying’s, all of which are indications of weakness, which lead, just as surely as deliberately planned sins, to failure, unhappiness, and loss; for weakness cannot persist in a power evolving universe.

A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose or goal in his heart and set out to accomplish it. He should make this goal the centralizing point of his thoughts. It may take the form of a spiritual ideal, or it may be a worldly object, according to his nature at the time being but whichever it is, he should steadily focus his thought-forces upon the object, which he has set before him.

He should make this purpose his supreme duty, and should devote himself to its attainment, not allowing his thoughts to wander away into ephemeral fancies, longings, and imaginings. This is the royal road to self-control and true concentration of thought. Even if he fails again and again to accomplish his goal, the strength of character gained will be the measure of his true success, and this will form a new starting-point for future power and triumph.

What this means is if your only goal as you graduate from college is to get a job you will find that when you get to your second or third act in life that you may have achieved financial success, but you would have no fulfillment. Fulfillment is only achieved when you are on purpose. On the other hand, if you set goals either for spiritual attainment, personal accomplishment, or for contribution even when you fail and you most likely will, you will be like, Tom Brady, and know that given time, success will be yours.

James Allen, goes on to say that having conceived of his purpose, a man should mentally mark out a straight pathway to its achievement, looking neither to the right nor the left. Doubts and fears should be rigorously excluded; they are disintegrating elements, which break up the straight line of effort, rendering it crooked, ineffectual, or useless.

Thoughts of doubt and fear never accomplished anything, and never can. They always lead to failure. Purpose, energy, power to do, and all strong thoughts cease when doubt and fear creep in.

Amy Purdy Snowboarding goal setting

Amy’s story
After losing both her legs at age 19 as a result of bacterial meningitis, Amy Purdy survived to lead a life of extraordinary accomplishments. Amy not only survived losing her legs but at one time all her organs were failing, and she actually died. She tells that when she died, two spirits on the other side offered her a choice of staying dead or coming back to life and she shouted No, I don’t want to die!!

She chose life the same way she chose not to be a disabled person who lives an uninspiring life. She chose to set the goal of snowboarding again. She tells the story of how she visualized in detail her achieving this goal. Amy went on to become a Paralympic bronze medalist in snowboarding, and a finalist on “Dancing with the Stars”. Pick up a copy of her book “On My Own Two Feet: From Losing My Legs to Learning the Dance of Life.” To read about her incredible story

So today, I would like to teach you, How to set strong goals. Goals that make you want to get up in the morning. Goals that motivate and inspire you to action.

Here are 6 steps to setting and accomplishing strong goals

How to Set Strong Goals Step # 1
Start with a road-map
He who doesn’t have a map gets lost.
If you don’t know where you are going, then it doesn’t matter where you end up.
Begin with the end in mind

Here are a few examples of strong goals
• I want to have $500,000 in my bank account at the age of 65, so as not to be a burden to my kids.
• I want to leave a legacy and an inheritance for my children and my children’s children.
• I want to have 3 children, a husband, a good job and own my own home by the time I am 35 years old.

Knowing where you are going allows you to map the route to your destination.

The body is the servant of the mind. It obeys the operations of the mind, whether they be deliberately chosen or automatically expressed. At the bidding of unlawful thoughts, the body sinks rapidly into disease and decay; at the command of glad and beautiful thoughts it becomes clothed with youthfulness and beauty.

Step 2: Know Your Why?

Knowing your why will get you through the tough times.

S- is for specific for example I want to have $500,000 in the bank
M- is for
A – It must be achievable
R – it must be realistic to some degree

T – It must be timely. A goal is just a dream without a date on it. For example, I want to have $500,000 in the back by the time I am 65 years old.

Your why, so I would not be a burden to my kids. Your Why could be I don’t want to depend on social security.

Step 3: Plan your route

What do you plan to do in exchange for $500,000 in the bank?

How will you attract this money?

Maybe you need to understand the principles or laws on attracting money. Understand how the law of attraction works. Maybe you have an investment strategy, or you plan to become an entrepreneur and sell something.

Goal Step 4: Measure your progress

You can’t grow anything you can’t measure
Borrow to invest. Get your credit score in shape and borrow to invest in Real Estate which is one of the surest ways to build wealth. I was listening to the audio book “Self-Made” a few months back and the author said don’t buy shoes, buy buildings! Great advice.

Goal Step 5: Be prepared for the twists and turns in the road

What skills do you need to acquire to achieve this goal?
What contacts do you need?
What additional knowledge do you need?
What resources do you need to accomplish this goal?

Remember that just because you set a goal and a destination don’t expect the weather will cooperate and the sky will be sunny for the entire trip.
No. Expect that there will be circumstances beyond your control that will delay you, so build in a buffer. Add a few years to your deadline.

In the journey to your goal, you will experience setbacks. A job loss, a divorce, health issues etc. Don’t let the twists and turns in the road, derail you from your goals.

I heard a story of a mother of two who was laid off and without income. She decided to start selling the things in her home on eBay to pay the bills. She then started a meet up group for other eBay sellers to learn the business. She got information for sourcing discount items from wholesalers to sell on eBay. Obviously, her household items could only get her so far!
At one of these meetup meetings, she met an executive from eBay who encouraged her to become a certified ambassador for eBay. That 10Xd her business. Today she has income of over one million dollars annually from eBay sales.

The lesson, setbacks can push you in the direction of your purpose so, change the way you look at failure.

Goal Step 6: Seeing your path

Use your imagination to visualize the things you want to accomplish
Visualize in color with all the details!

The goal of having $500,000 in the bank at 65 years old. Visualize the money in the bank. What do you look like at 65 years old? Who are you with? Where are you living?

What would you do with the money? See the places you would travel to. Dr Joe Vitalie says to nebulize your goals that means to see you already accomplishing them.

So, in conclusion, set strong goals, set SMART goals. Write them down and refer back to them often. And the Law of Attraction will do the rest. I want to leave you with this quote

Only by much searching and mining, are gold and diamonds obtained, man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mine of his soul; he is the maker of his character, the molder of his life, and the builder of his destiny.

So, live your life on purpose. Set goals for achievement, for contribution for fun and play and then go do it!

Additional Resources

September 26, 2022

How to Release the Issues Held in Your Tissues

Christopher Lee Haher Issues in your tissues

You have to heal in order to, transform, you have to, transform, in order to heal. You could address, tissue health, through some form of deep massage. But if you address structural health first, without first addressing, tissue, the unhealthy tissue pulls the structure back out of play. Your, tissues, would be your, fascia, your muscles, your ligaments, your tendons, your bone. When those, tissues, are unhealthy, when you push into them, guess what you find? You find pain.

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Stress and tissue health

Myrna: How did your mindset play into your transformation?

Christopher: Yeah, well for me my mind that has always been one of, transformation. So that was already in place, right. What I needed to learn is that stored, stress, meaning, unresolved stress, transforms into physical tension and that physical tension when it reaches a certain level, it creates what’s called, emotional distortion. Mental stress, transforms into physical tension, that tension can get so high that it generates, emotional distortion.

And so, in order to transform you have to walk back through the door as you came in. And so, what I discovered is that 99.99999% of all human beings store their maximal saturation of, stress, tension and distortion, is about 86.4% average. Okay, so that means if I lined every human up on the planet right now, and I could work on them, we would find that they only have 15% of their mental, emotional, spiritual and physical capacity that isn’t severely stressed.

It’s funny because if you look into data, surrounded around intelligence, what do they tell you? They tell you that the average human is operating at about 10% Right? And the ones who are operating really high, functioning really high. They’re getting about 12%. Right? So, the math is the same. Well, let’s do the inverse of that.

What if we could reduce your lifetime accumulated, stress load, by 50%? What would that do to your intelligence? What would that do to your, physical intelligence? What would that do to your, emotional intelligence? What would that do to your, spiritual intelligence? What would that do to your, analytical intelligence? The truth is it would raise it dramatically. Okay, so not only was I discovering that along the way as I was moving attention to, stress, and the distortion and the, toxicity, from my body, I was having powerful mental insights and awareness every single day.

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Transforming unhealthy tissue to healthy tissue

Myrna: Okay, so tell us about that. What was how did you fall into that number one, I know that you were working on your master’s and doctorate degrees in traditional Chinese medicine. For instance, you talk about your compound, complex stressors, and they started from the time you were a baby, a couple of days old, guide us through how this, transformation, of our stressors can help us to operate in a higher emotional capacity.

Christopher: As you remove tension from the body, and I’m talking about something very different than yoga for traditional stretching. What I’m talking about is changing, bone rotational relationships. And what that means is that you have different forms of health. So, you have, tissue health, so your tissue would be your, fascia, your muscles, your ligaments, your tendons, your bone, so to be in your structural tissue, when those, tissues, are unhealthy, when you push into them, guess what you find? You find pain. Okay, all right. You find discomfort.

If I lay on a table now, and we started running my elbow across all those little muscles across your back, we might find discomfort and pain. If we did that across the back of your legs and neck, shoulder, your jaw, wherever you have pain and discomfort there’s a blockage of the natural flow of energy. Okay. So, in order to access the greatest amount of intelligence going inside of you, what would you have to do? You would have to remove the roadblocks and so the first step is you have to address, tissue health.

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Fix tissue health before structural health

Because if you address, structural health, first, without first addressing, tissue, the, unhealthy tissue, pulls the structure back out of play. Right. And so, there’s a system out there that I’ve been developing called best of science, bioenergetic self-transformation sequence. For me, the most important part of the process is because it breaks the codependent dependent relationship between practitioners and patients.

Let’s say I have a headache that I have to go to my acupuncturist, or I have to go to Walgreens to pick up some medicine then what’s gonna happen? I’m reliant on something outside of me in order to resolve something inside. But what if there was a way to actually learn how to move your body, how to resolve tension and, stress, get your, tissues healthy, so that you can resolve it from the inside out and not need someone from the outside.

That would put you in a very powerful position, because it means you could then determine how much time energy and effort you wanted to put into your body, brain and nervous system to produce the results. That you wanted to make yourself feel better every single day.

Myrna: That is awesome, I have an episode called “We hold issues in our tissues.”

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The issues are in your tissues

Christopher: I’m the one who coined that phrase, “The issues are in your tissues.”

So, the, issues are in your tissues. I’m glad that’s passed along. I coined that phrase 22 years ago. I’m happy to hear that it’s gone around the world and come back to me. So, tissue health, right? Whenever your body’s toxic, your, tissues, get unhealthy. Why? Because where does the, toxicity, sit? It’s in your, tissues. And so, you want to remove that out of the, tissues, and the way to do that is through a simple system that I’ve been developing called machine, M A, Space X.

So, somebody’s walking up and down your body and you’re getting the feel or the discomfort that in those parts, that as a person starts to actually breathe relative to the true level of sensation that they’re feeling. You know what happens? The body lets go of all of the, toxicity. Yes, I’ve had people their discomfort levels were like 13 out of 10. I get their breath up to a third team. And then literally 10 seconds later, they’re lying there in complete comfort. Then I don’t see them for a couple years. They come back and see me I get back on their body and guess what? They’re still no discomfort. Right. So, this is what I mean by true, transformation.

I don’t want to have to go see my chiropractor every Thursday, or every other Wednesday for 10 years. I want an immediate, instantaneous solution. Because if people are coming in and they’re investing money, they need solutions.

Myrna: I know what you are talking about, my sister had a car accident and hurt her neck and she’s been going to the chiropractor for 10 years!

I know that we’re energetic beings. And when you talk about, your issues are in your tissues, I understand. But I also work with the chakra systems, and I know that the energy gets blocked. How are you, releasing the issues in your tissues? Are we using the mind to clear the energy or how are we doing this?

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You have to transform to heal tissues

Christopher: Well, there’s several ways to do it. Okay, so we can always love when someone wants to transform. Transformation, begins with where you where you started, which is mentally, right, you have to set a clear intent. Because once you set clear intent, the universe lines up behind you to bring you the people, the resources, the dynamic situation that you need, in order to go on the transformational healing process, okay. And it’s impossible to, transform, if you don’t eat. Those things are inextricably connected at the root.

You have to heal in order to transform, you have to transform, in order to heal. So, you could go through addressing the, tissues, and , tissue health, through some form of deep massage. I don’t mean going to the therapist and having somebody rub oil on and then paying them $200 bucks an hour. I live in Marina Del Rey, I promise you right now, I could find a $300 massage where they’re gonna rub oil on me and play nice music in the background and three days later, I’m going to wake up with the same level of discomfort in my body. That is a terrible investment. Right? That would be like me going out and spending $300 on Bitcoin right now. Right?

Well, I’m talking about is spending $300 going into your body into the depth of where this stuff begins breathing, right breathing, matching your breath to the true level of sensation. If your, tissue, sensation is a seven out of 10 which that’s quite an uncomfortable, okay. 10 is the maximum that’s as uncomfortable as could possibly get and your breath is at a three.

You’re gonna hold on to that discomfort. But if your breath is at a seven your, tissue sensation, is at a seven guess what happens when those two things match when your emotional body your breath and your physical body. The physical sensations match, guess what’s going to happen?

Your pain disappears. It drops out. Guess what your body’s always asking for, it’s asking to be met emotionally. And when it’s met emotionally, the brain goes okay, let it go. We got exactly what we needed.

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Holding issues in your tissues

Yes, going back to the, issues in our tissues. Whatever issues that I had in store there and people have them everywhere, you know, whether it’s so I get that you go down the rabbit hole you identify the source. And then you know it let’s say there might be two hours and I’m listening and I’m investigating. And then I need to see those their story match up with their body, right? And then I go in and I start in on the, issues in the tissues, and 100% of the time, the story that they gave is exactly what’s going on inside of their body. And what I mean by the story that they gave me about the environment that they were raised.

So, let’s say I have a father who is dutiful, okay, super disciplined, hardworking, and you grow up in an environment like that and you’re more of an artistic emotional child. Right? That’s gonna leave a specific kind of imprint in you. And you’re gonna build very specific kinds of strategies in order to avoid punishment, rejection, humiliation, violence, discomfort and pain from that parent. Right?

And so, what’s the first step we have to do? We have to locate how that parent impacted you. Then we need to figure out how did your mom impact you? And every time their story about their mom and their story about their dad matches up with exactly what’s going on in their body. It’s happened every single time. And so now you’re matching the story in the investigation with the body. And guess what we go in and start removing that tension and that, stress, and their relationship with their parents. Changes in one day.

They understand them, then they forgive them, they give them a space to be themselves. The most important thing is they’re never ever triggered by their parent again.

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How to resolve complex stressors on a subconscious level

Myrna: You had all these, complex stressors. How did you resolve that?

Christopher: I resolved that with the steps that I’m explaining, but the impact was it changed the way in which I relate energetically and emotionally with women of authority. Okay, so you know a lot of my female teachers in high school says that I was kind and smart and charming, but I wouldn’t be willing to talk back. I never had any challenges with my male authoritative figures when I was going to boarding school, my female teachers would trigger me in a way at a deep subconscious level. When I say conscious, unconscious, subconscious, super conscious, I mean, either the mental and emotional, physical or spiritual level.

All right, so think about the, unconscious, or let’s start with the smallest the, conscious mind, as one grain of sand. Okay, everyone out there trying to manage their entire life with this tiny grain of sand, where your, unconscious, is more like a 55-gallon drum of sand. But your, subconscious, is all the sand on planet Earth. And your, super conscious, is all the sand in the universe. Right? And most humans are trying to manage everything in our life with that tiny grain of sand, trying to understand all of reality. The, conscious mind, doesn’t have the ability to do that. And the reason why I’m giving this as a precursor is for people to understand.

When I say, subconscious, or, unconscious, the form of intelligence, and the vastness of that form of intelligence. Okay, so at the subconscious level, we’re talking about all the all the intelligence on planet Earth, okay? So, most humans are using their body like it’s a skateboard, one grain of sand. When you have massive amounts of tension and, stress, in it, remember, the average human being is that about 86.4%, stress.

So we go through the process, regardless of what your situation is, when you had a very complex, dynamic, stressors, that were coming in. For you had something a little less depending on your level of sensitivity, it still puts you at 86.4% because when you’re in your mother’s womb, your mother and father seed and age are mixing together and all of the, epigenetics, all of the unresolved unconscious, survival-based strategies are being baked into your nervous system.

Book Free for Life

That’s the purpose of my work and my book “Free for life” or body intelligence is to get every human factor neutrality, because when you’re in neutrality, you add nothing in you take nothing away, you simply see things for what they are free of judgment, criticism, disapproval or overly moralizing position.

Now 50 years ago, okay, that wasn’t possible. The only things humans had was the ability to manage their life with their mind. And the more intelligent you were, the easier it was for you to manage the complex stresses that you’re in. So, at some point, the, complex stressors, in human evolution outweigh what the mind can manage and then they started leaning on caffeine. They started leaning on recreational drugs.

They started leaning on alcohol, they started leaning on refined sugar. They started leaning on now the worst thing in the world, pharmaceutical drugs. They’re leaning on them simply to attempt to manage their lifetime accumulated, stress load. That’s a combination of the experiences they’ve had in this life, and all of the experiences that their ancestors had before they were born, that are all based on survival, which means they’re based in fight or flight dynamics.

Myrna: Well, that’s basically what’s happening in the African American community. I found that the generational stuff is coming through, from slavery. And you also told me that your father was from Africa. So, you’ve got some, stressors, there too. I definitely agree that the only thing I would add to what you just talked about the, subconscious, and the, superconscious, is that most people, let’s say 95% don’t understand that the, subconscious, is what’s, what’s guiding them.

Conclusion

Connect with Christopher on the web www.truebodyintelligence.com. If you would like to work with Christopher, send him an email at support@truebodyintelligence.com

Additional Resources

September 22, 2022October 25, 2022

What is the Connection between Sexual Abuse and Addiction?

Child Abuse, and, sexual abuse, Statistics, show a connection between, child abuse, Mental Health, addiction, and depression.

In her book “Call me an addict, war on Women” By Dr Tra Ahia. shares Kreta’s story of, child abuse, and sexual abuse, that started with her biological mother. I think this is very rare. Kreta said her mother was a sick person. Her, child abuse, was by her mother. Her mother used to make her kids do sexual acts on her boyfriend and her. Her mother and boyfriend also had sex in front of her and her brothers and sisters. This, abuse, started when she was about 4 years old.

Listen to the full interview here:

Kreta’s story of, sexual abuse

Kreta was raped by an older boy around the age of 7.

Kreta’s, child abuse, started when she was only 8 or 9 years old when she started smoking weed, crack and sniffing blow. As she got older when she didn’t have money, she would perform sexual acts for coke.

Even though she was a good student in school she started ditching school to sleep with older men and eventually dropped out of school.

She started working for a pimp who continued her, sexual abuse, he beat her all the time and had other men rape her and pie on her. After a string of, sexually abusive, relationships She got pregnant several times while still doing drugs. She had two abortions; but decided to keep her third pregnancy – a baby girl.

She went in and out of rehab several times trying to stay clean but always relapsed.

Kreta’s story ended the saddest of all 3 stories from the book “Call me an Addict, war Her, strange addiction, was out of control. She got so high one night that she stabbed her baby to death. She got life in prison.

Child Abuse Statistics

Risk for intimate partner violence
Alcoholism and alcohol abuse
Illicit drug abuse
Smoking & drinking at an early age
Depression
Suicide attempts

I want to say that Kreta’s mother surprised me; but I have heard, sexual abuse, stories like this one before. I had a coaching client who told me that her mother stopped having sex with her husband and when she was 4 years old gave her to her husband to have sex with. Tyler Perry tried to bring attention to this, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, in his movie Madea Family Reunion .

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Here are 5 Statistics about sexual abuse offenders

Ages 12 to 14 are the peak ages for child offenders.
70 percent of perpetrators have between 1 and 9 victims.
Child abuse, statistics, show as many as 40 percent of children who are, sexually abused, are abused by older or more powerful children.
Sex offenses are the crimes least likely to involve strangers as perpetrators. Although a smaller percentage of, sex offenders, are women, the majority are male. Sex offenders, are generally NOT “dirty old men” or strangers lurking in alleys. They are typically not obviously mentally ill or retarded. In fact, sex offenders, are usually well known and trusted by the children they victimize, and frequently are members of the family, including fathers and stepfathers, brothers, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and cousins. There is no clear-cut description or profile of a, sex offender. Thus, there is no way to recognize a potential, sex offender, and abuser; and it’s often hard to believe that a trusted individual would be capable of abusing children.
Children who disclose their abuse within one month are at a reduced risk for, depression, or substance abuse and, addiction. Believe your kids when they talk to you and LISTEN.

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Why, Addiction and Depression are by products of Child Abuse

Although any type of, addiction, can trigger violence, those most likely to impair judgment, like drug and alcohol, addiction, are most often linked to addiction-related violence. Drug and alcohol use can weaken self-control, it’s not uncommon to see people who are under the influence engaging in behavior they usually wouldn’t if they were sober.

People living with, strange addictions, who commit violent crimes, is usually as a result of intoxication or as a means of obtaining money to finance their habits. According to an article published in Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, more than 75 percent of people who seek treatment for, drug addiction, report having performed acts of violence, including mugging, physical assault and using a weapon to attack another person.

People who suppress negative feelings like anger or, depression, are more likely to drink or use, drugs, to the point of intoxication and exhibit violent behaviors. If you have Pent-up rage and you are using drugs, you are more likely to act violently because loss of self-control can increase your chances to act on your anger.

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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help sexual abuse survivors

Dr Tra Ahia How does CBT help , sexual abuse survivors, to love themselves? What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

Evidence is growing that, cognitive-behavioral therapy, (CBT) is an effective treatment for, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, including those who have experienced physical, child abuse, and other traumatic events.

Most of the studies that have evaluated Trauma focused-CBT have been well designed. This treatment model represents a synthesis of trauma-sensitive interventions and well-established CBT principles treatment-outcome studies for, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, and otherwise traumatized children. The therapy was developed to resolve, post-traumatic stress disorder, and, depression, and anxiety symptoms, as well as to address underlying distortions about self-blame, safety, the trustworthiness of others, and the world. The treatment also fits, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, and other traumatic experiences into a broader context of children’s lives so that their primary identity is not that of a victim.

Child abuse, statistics, show that CBT therapy allows, sexual abuse, victims to learn self-love.

Drug and Alcohol Treatment for Women with Trauma

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Arifah What does, Child abuse, statistics, show about self love?

It shows that if, child abuse, and sexual abuse, victims do the following, They begin to heal.

Take your time
Recognize that your needs matter
Forgive yourself and knowledge of self through therapy
Find a support group
Learn to practice self-compassion, to rid yourself of shame-based beliefs, such as you are worthless, defective, bad, or unlovable
Find time for self care activities (journaling, exercise, mediation, art, hanging out with people that care about you).
Gain new experiences (i.e. get involved in the community)

Dr Tra I am curious after listening to 100 stories like the ones you told in your book and from all the data you have collected over your 30 years in this space. Why do you think fathers and stepfathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, and cousins, abuse, little girls?

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I want to comment on one of the, child abuse, statistics, the one that says 70% of perpetrators have between 1 to 9 victims. I remember my, sexual abuse, It was from a man who I called grandfather, even though he was no relation. He used to tell me to bring my friends, and he would do the same thing to them as he did me. In fact he had a reputation of liking little girls. I never told anyone!

That’s another thing, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, statistics, show, victims never tell.

Here are 5 tips for loving yourself after, child abuse, and, sexual abuse,

Read Positive affirmations
Heal the mind through the body (ie. Boxing, Running, Martial Arts)
Mindful breathing exercises and meditation (stop, breathe and think app)
Channel your pain into creativity ( i.e.journaling)
Ask for help when you need it

Conclusion, Child Abuse, and, Sexual Abuse

Dr Tra, Do you support the, child abuse statistic, that says that if kids who are experiencing trauma of any kind tells someone who offers support, it has a direct and positive effect on the, sexual abuse and addiction connection?

Totally, when you tell someone what is being done to you, you release the shame of thinking you are to blame. You will also get help to cope with the emotions. When you stay silent it eats away at you all your life and then you self-medicate with, drugs, and alcohol and your, sexual abuse, continues into your adult relationships.

Additional Resources on Child Abuse and Sexual Abuse

Drug and Alcohol Treatment for Women with Trauma

https://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/

https://blog.myhelps.us/10-ways-childhood-trauma-impact-adults-in-love/

https://www.masterproblems.com/2017/02/what-can-be-done-about-child-abuse.html

When Your Child Can’t Speak

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/subabuse_childmal.pdf