Persistence: How to Stick with it

September 22, 2022 Myrna Young

Nothing in this world can take the place of, persistence, nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Fun fact 35% of New Year's resolutions are broken before Dr King’s birthday January 19.

If you want to be successful, develop the habit of reaching decisions promptly and of changing these decisions slowly. People who fail, without exception, have the habit of reaching decisions very slowly, and changing these decisions quickly and often.

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Authur's persistence story

Here is the story of, persistence. Aurthur was an airborne paratrooper. Jumping out of airplanes killed his knees, his back, his legs. When he got out of the army he walked with a cane and couldn't do anything, so he gained a lot of weight. He could not support his weight, so he couldn't exercise. The doctor at the VA told him to accept his faith that he would never walk normal again. His health rapidly declined.

One day while surfing the internet, He came across Diamond Dallas Page doing yoga. He said I could do this. He bought the DVD. He could use his arm to support his weight and get a cardio workout. Arthur was 297 lbs when he started doing yoga. He kept falling down, but he would get back again. Every day he got better and better in 19 months he had lost over 100 lbs and could not only walk without a cane but he could run. If he didn’t persist, he would still be 297 lbs or more.

You have to have desire to persist. Your desire has to make you feel good. Change rarely works unless it is motivated by feeling. Arthur wanted to feel better, to look better and as he started losing weight and feeling better, he was proud of himself.

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You need persistence to create a fortune

Some people who have accumulated great fortunes did so because of necessity. They developed the habit of, persistence, because circumstances forced them to become, persistent. Those who have cultivated the, habit of persistence, seem to enjoy insurance against failure. No matter how many times they are defeated. They finally arrive at the top of the ladder. Sometimes it appears that there was a hidden guide whose duty is to test us through all sorts of discouraging experiences.

Those who pick themselves up after defeat and keep on trying finally arrive at their destination. The hidden guide lets no one enjoy great achievement without passing the, persistence test. Those who fail the, persistence test, simply did not make the grade. Those who pass are rewarded for their, persistence, and in return they get the goal they are pursuing. But that is not all. They receive something infinitely more important than material compensation. They acquire the knowledge that every failure brings with it the seed of an equivalent advantage.

People who learn from experience the importance of, persistence, will not accept defeat as being anything more than temporary. They are the ones whose desires are so persistently applied, that defeat is finally changed into victory. We see that an overwhelmingly large number of people go down in defeat, never to rise again. We also see the few who take the punishment of defeat as an urge to greater effort. But what we do not see is the silent but irresistible power that comes to the rescue of those who persist in the face of discouragement.

The power of persistence

If we speak of this power at all, we call it, persistence, and let it go with that. One thing is sure. If you do not have, persistence, you will not achieve noteworthy success in any calling.

I am studying the book Think and Grow Rich and there is an excellent story of the author, Napoleon Hill, on how he persisted in the face of 7 major life defeats to become the author of one of the best self-improvement books ever written.

Here is brief, biography of Napoleon Hill. Hill was born into poverty in the backwoods of Virginia. Young Nap, as he was called, was the local gun toting troublemaker. He would probably have ended up a criminal had his widowed father not met and married Martha Raimi. Nap’s new stepmother set out to change the family's troublemaker ways, and she started by trading a typewriter for his six-shooter pistol.

She told him if you become as good with a typewriter as you are with that gun, you may become rich and famous and known throughout the world. Her faith and encouragement turned young Nap around and by the age of 15, he was submitting stories to the local newspapers and doing everything he could to get himself out of his meager circumstance.

After completing high school and one year at a business college, he wrote an audacious letter to Rufus Ayers, one of the most powerful men in the call industry. He'll wrote to apply for a job and got the job.

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Napoleon Hill persistence eventually led to victory

Setback #1 – Hill advanced rapidly until he was assuming responsibilities and receiving a salary far out of proportion to his age. He'll also prove to be so trustworthy and honest that Eyers promoted him to replace the manager, making this 19-year-old, the youngest manager of a mine and in charge of 350 men. Then his employer lost his fortune, and Hill lost his position.

Setback # 2 – His next position was that of sales manager of a large lumber manufacturer in the south, his advancement was rapid. And he did so well that his employer took him into partnership with him. The business was making tons of money and Hill was again at the top of his game then disaster struck. The 1907 Panic swept down, and overnight it rendered him poor by destroying the business and relieving him of every dollar that he had.

Setback #3 – Hill decided to go to law school. He attended law school at night and worked as an automobile salesman during the day. He saw the need for trained automobile mechanics. So, he opened an educational department in the manufacturing plant and began to train ordinary machinist in automobile assembly and repair work.

The school prospered paying Hill over $1,000 a month in net profits. His banker knew the business was prospering therefore, he loaned him money to expand. Then when he couldn’t pay, he took over my business as calmly as if it had belonged to him, which it did. From an income of more than $1,000 a month, he was suddenly reduced to poverty.

Setback # 4– Hill decided to move to Chicago. His first position in Chicago was that of advertising manager for a large correspondence school. He once again did so well that the president of the school induced him to resign his position and go into the candy manufacturing business with him. The business grew rapidly and soon they had a chain of stores in 18 different cities. Then his partner got greedy and got Hill arrested on false charges so they could take the business. Hill was cleared of any wrongdoing but once again he was out of a job and money.

Setback # 5 – Hill then turned his efforts to teaching advertising and salesmanship at one of the colleges in the Midwest. His school prospered from the very beginning. He had a resident class and also a correspondence school. Then President Woodrow Wilson declared the United States would enter the war against Germany. At one stroke all his students were drafted in the war and Hill charged off more than $75,000 in tuition fees. Once more, he was penniless.

Setback # 6 – The time had come for another turning point. Hill decided to sit down at my typewriter his first love and to his astonishment, his hands began to play a tune on the keyboard. He had never written so rapidly or so easily before. The words were downloaded to him. Hill wrote was a long essay in which he described a new idealism based on the golden rule that he thought could emerge from the war.

He declared that he would help spread the word and vowed he was going to find the money to launch a new magazine to be called Hills Golden Rule. His, persistence, paid off, by early January of 1919 Hills Golden Rule magazine was on the newsstands. It was a hit and made lots of money until he exposed some bad men and they tried to kill him. He then had to run for his life and hide out.

Setback # 7 – While in hiding, Hill decided to complete the project he started 20 years earlier. In March of 1928, Hill published the results of his efforts, a multi volume Master Work and title Law of Success. No one had ever seen anything like it. It was a phenomenon, a runaway bestseller. A little over a year later, while Hill was finally enjoying the fruits of his long Labor and, persistence, the stock market crash of 1929 hit, the bottom fell out of everything, including the market for books.

It you stick with it you will have victory

Victory – Though he never gave up on his vision, like the rest of America, Hill struggled through the depression. He lectured, he wrote, and he taught in every way he could, but it was very hard to preach personal achievement to a country that had lost faith in itself. Napoleon Hill, made it his personal mission to turn the tide by creating a variety of self-help programs, but it became disappointingly apparent that it was going to take more than one man to do it.

When Franklin D Roosevelt was elected president, he reached out to, Napoleon Hill. They released Think and Grow Rich to such resounding success that it sold well over a million copies even before the depression ended. To date it has sold more than 60 million copies worldwide. And to this day, it still sells more than a million copies a year in its various editions.

Why did, Napolean Hill, persist? Because he wanted to be rich.

Why do persist? Or do you stay down when you get knocked down.

How many people you know would keep trying after being knocked down 7 times? The devil would have gotten his hocks in your mental state and told you that you are a failure and that you will never be successful. You don’t have what it takes. Etc. If the devil leads you into depression or disappointment, then he’s got you. He has removed your heart, your desire. You become just cold, tap water.

Don't be tap water

Do you know what happens at, 212 degrees? Water boils

At 211% it is just hot water.

What can hot water do? Not much

What can boiling water do?

Everything!

At, 212 degrees, the steam from boiling water can power locomotives.

Boiling water can cook your food.

That one degree is the difference between mediocrity and great achievement.

This one little degree of extra effort is usually the difference between winning or losing in life. It is where you find the top athletes. The ones who play through pain, the ones who get back up after being knocked down.

Most Olympics track events are won by seconds, by the person who desires it the most and is willing to give it that extra 1% to get to boiling.

The Daytona 500 is won every year with a one second difference between the winner and looser. The first-place winner takes home a prize of 1,650,000 and the second-place winner takes home 600,000.

That 1% is worth over 1 million dollars.

We see the losing team crying at the Super Bowl. They were so close. All that was needed was a little more heat, one extra degree of effort.

So, what makes the difference? Why only a few people in this world turns it up that extra 1 degree?

You Got to be hungry

The difference is courage, confidence, self-reliance, stamina and, persistence.

As Les Brown says “you got to be hungry”

I love Mike Tyson

He did an interview on why he dominated the sport, and it went like this:

As I approach the ring my confidence builds this is my world the ring is my where I excel. The closer I get to the ring the more confident I get. As I step into the ring, I am a God I am invincible. I never take my eyes off of my opponent. I stare him down and as soon as he looks away, I know that I won. I see fear in his eyes.

So, let's fast forward to the Tyson and Buster Douglas championship fight. Tyson was in his glory he is dominating the fight. He hits his knock down punch and Douglas falls to the ground. The count begins Douglas can't get up. 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9, bell! Saved by the bell. Douglas goes to his corner and he remembers his why. Why he must win this fight.

You see Douglas’s mother told him that he was going to be the Heavy Weight champion of the world. She believed in him when no one else did and she died 2 days before the fight. He couldn't let her down. That was all he needed to bring his desire to boiling point. That was all he needed to push through the pain and fear.

He came back out and Tyson was no longer a God, he was no longer a giant. He saw in his mind’s eye an ant that could be crushed and he started to fight with that end goal in mind. The opportunity came in the 10th round. An uppercut to the right jaw and Tyson fell like Goliath! The new Heavy Weight champion of the world Buster Douglas.

Conclusion

If you stick with it, you will win. Let, persistence, become your friend and do not be, tap water.

Thanks for tuning into to, Transformation Fridays, with coach Myrna. Hope you were inspired today to go out and transform your life. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

Desire – I got to have it

finding purpose, Life Coaching, purpose

Using Astrology to Understand Your Purpose

September 19, 2022 Myrna Young

Natalie Holbrook, intuitive Astrologer shares how to use your birthday to understand your astrological signs. She pulled my, astrology, chart and my Sun was in the first house, and my moon was in Libra. The first house is all about, personal development, which means I am doing what I am supposed to do.

Also, my Venus is in Scorpio, which is all about, transformation. And what I do as a, Life coach, is all about transformation!

We can pull our, astrology, charts to confirm our career choices or understand why it is not working for us.

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What is Your Astrology Birth Chart

Myrna: You said that after pulling your, astrology, chart, you realized that you had found your, purpose. Why was that immediate?

Natalie: It was it was kind of like a spiritual rebirth to be honest because I just heard this podcast and I heard about the, loneliness, piece and, loneliness, and I had always had this experience of even if I would be surrounded by friends, I still felt, loneliness. I think I was even dating someone at the time and still felt, lonely. From the outside you'd be like, this person's not, lonely. And I didn't feel like I should but there was something within me that was like, why do I always have this?

And so, then when I learned that, loneliness, was part of my, birth chart, it was almost this validation of like, oh, this is actually just something I'm supposed to learn from my entire life. I don't have to actually attach to oh, I'm lonely or oh, I'm sad because of it. I experienced, loneliness. And then because I experienced it, I get to help other people who experienced it, you know, and we can talk about it. It's kind of like, if you have shame about something and you talk about it, it helps it to go away.

But then when I also learned from my, astrology, chart, a couple of other things that were so critical for me. One of them was learning my, moon sign, and we're going to talk all about your, moon sign. We're going to talk about, moon sign, because we have the, sun sign, which is our birthday. You're a, Taurus, I'm actually a, Taurus, too, so we definitely bonded on that.

Myrna: Yes, I think there was an immediate connection when we met on video.

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Your Astrology moon sign shows your emotions

Natalie: Your, moon sign, is what you feel on the inside. It's your emotions. It's how you think. It's the kind of stress level that your body runs on. And I learned that mine is a, Gemini moon, and, Gemini, is the spectrum of black and white Yin and Yang. You kind of want to dabble in everything. Sometimes people will call it a jack of all trades, master of none. I wanted to study everything and sometimes I was really extroverted and sometimes I was really introverted. And so that also really helped me to understand myself.

And the final piece that was so crucial for me as well was to learn that I'm something called a, Leo rising. So, the rising sign is what your soul is ascending into in this lifetime. That's what we're really rising and learning how to be more like, and it's also what people see of us when they first meet us. And so, when I learned that about, Leo, that kind of gave me this feeling of confirmation. Because my whole life, I wanted to work in entertainment, whether that was film or directing or documentaries, or maybe even doing podcasts like this, you know, something where I was in the public.

And so, once I learned that, it helped to reassure me. Hey, you are here to do something with fun and performance and entertaining and being seen. And that really helps me to step more into, purpose, rather than being afraid or shutting down those dreams.

Myrna: That's amazing. All right. So, let's get back to this day when you learnt about your full expression. So, you learned to pull your, birth chart, and then you saw that it made sense that your, moon, and, Leo rising. How did it come together?

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Astrology shows your purpose

Natalie: I think because I was already feeling all of that in my heart and my body and my soul, that it was almost like you said, this information, was validation. And the thing that's really cool about, astrology, is that you kind of know, one, purpose, might be being a wife, one, purpose, might be, having a business or being a mother or just making people laugh on a day-to-day basis. It can be all of these different things. And it's the combination of all of that makes you and really is the essence of you.

Myrna: That's good. That's true. Our soul has many purposes. As a, Life coach, I teach, purpose, as well. I tell people that they're not really fulfilled unless they're living their, purpose, and it's very true. But people always think that their, purpose, is a big thing. You know that they have to change the world in some way. And I've learned that your, purpose, can be just like you said, to be a wife or to be a mother or to be a support for somebody. It doesn't always have to be like an Elon Musk.

Natalie: Yeah, well, I think that there's so many roles that we take that sometimes we even forget that we're taking that role, you know, it's like being a good best friend who picks up the phone and listens, that is something that we even see in the, birth chart. You're going to be someone who's really empathetic or if you're someone who's a little narcissistic.

We can kind of see these little hints in here. Your, soul, really wanted to shine in in this lifetime, and one of the really fun ways. Everyone who's listening can actually know their, soul’s purpose. So, for you being a, Taurus, when you pull your, astrology, chart, and you can go to my website, Natalieholbrookwellness.com to pull your chart for free.

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The Sun in the first house: Astrology

And you'll see that your Sun is in what's called a house and the house there are these little triangles in the chart and the chart is a circle and it's broken up into 12 Pizza slices, let's say little triangles. And whatever house that Sun is in, they're showing where you directly shine. And so, for you, Myrna yours shines in the first house, and the first house is the house of you're going to just be like, of course, personal development.

It's about you learning what is your path, and then it's also about the physical body. So, if you've been on a journey of health or with fitness or you know how it is that you even perceive yourself. That's a really big once you were really having to say I transformed from who I once was, to who I am now, and probably becoming many different iterations of that in between.

Myrna: That's amazing. I was born in Guyana. Guyana is a third world country and very poor and I was born in poverty, then abused of the child. So yes, my story is that I transformed myself from that into what I do today, and I've always been into, personal development. You know, my thing when I was growing up was, CANI which is constant and never-ending improvement. So, which is why when I saw the word life coach, I immediately felt it was my calling. And I've also been in fitness, I used to run track as well as the long jump in high school.

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The moon sign in astrology

Natalie: So, then we can see the whole, astrology, chart and we see your moon. And now this is going to be funny to you too and make so much sense because your moon is in, Libra, and Libra is the sign all about partnerships, and partnerships. And it can be kind of two ways where it's like partnership of you and your romantic partner, you and a close friend, you and a group of people, or even doing a podcast is one of the most, Libra, because it's the two of us having an intimate conversation where other people are listening. So that's all about Libra. Now, Libra, also is very good at business and very good at negotiations and sales.

Because, Libras, also very charismatic, it knows how to read people. It's almost like it knows how quote unquote should be. And so, it can step into that character, and it's an Air sign so, Taurus, is an earth sign so it makes you very grounded and people see you as grounded. So that's your, moon sign.

Myrna: That's really my, purpose, is to be a good interviewer. I thought I got my listening skills from my coaching training, because as a coach, they teach you to learn to listen and dial in and pick up things that the person is not saying. But you can see from their body language and the reactions. So, I know that I'm a great Interviewer because I actually dial in to who I'm interviewing, and everybody says, you ask some really good questions. That's because I'm dialed in. But what you're saying I was born this way.

That's amazing, everybody likes to hear that they're on purpose and they're doing is what they're supposed to do.

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Using astrology to understand your career

Alright, let's go back to, astrology, for a minute. You said that you were embodying your, Gemini moon, being very curious, having lots of passions, and having to try out a few different careers before finding the one. So how can listeners use, astrology, to guide their careers? Let's touch a minute and talk about the, Libra, reading, because again, that's right on point. And when I was growing up, all my friends were, Libras.

What is my, Libra? How does that help me with my, career, since my moon is in Libra.

Natalie: So, it's really important to always know what we call your big three. So, your Sun is your character, your moon is your emotion. So, think of that. It's like what you feel it's almost like your insides your core is a, Libra.

Me as a, Tauras, I get along really well because we're ruled by, Venus. We love art and beauty, and we notice the little things.

Myrna: So, for someone that's listening, and they pull their, birth chart, and their Sun is in Aquarius and their, moon, is in Pisces or something like that. Would that tell them about what they're supposed to do with their lives? What their soul is aspiring to do or what they're supposed to do it as far as careers?

Natalie: Yeah, so there's a couple of other planets that I want to pull in about, career, because, moon, is really what you need to take down so we can stay with you for your lives and really, you need to feel connection with people you know, in your job. If you were just working analyzing data all in a room by yourself, you would die, you would feel so isolated. I have all these gifts; I need to talk to people I need to connect with people. You know, for me, for example, as a, Gemini Moon, I need to have a lot of variety.

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Gemini need variety

So, for me every single day is different, every client session I do every, birth chart, reading it's all different. So, I'm able to really thrive on that because, Gemini, is all about variety. And so, with that we could go through all the signs and say kind of whatever person would need, but also a thing that's really good to look at on the chart is to see where there's is well two things that are really good one is to say, where's your, Venus's sign, because, Venus, is how you're going to make money. So, we can be on our, purpose, but we also want to say, how can I get paid for this?

And for me, my, Venus, is actually also in, Gemini, so the more that I talk to people connect to people do a variety of things. That's also how I get to thrive. So, you want to look at your Venus sign as well. And then the other piece of this that's really important is to look at the planet, Jupiter. Jupiter, is where we have our expansion. So, like I was saying or like read, but mine isn't that, Pisces, science.

Yours is in, Scorpio. And where we have Jupiter, a lot of people are a lot of astrologers will say that, Jupiter, is like the Santa Claus of the Zodiac because it brings us gifts like that's what our gifts are in. And so, for you being in Scorpio, it is all about, transformation. And what do you do as a, Life coach, is all about transformation.

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Scorpio in astrology is about transformation

Myrna; Thank goodness, transformation. You know that word just popped into my psyche one day, and my original show was supposed to be called, mindset transformation. But when I when I uploaded it to iTunes, but it was too long, and then I changed it to, transform your mind. But, transformation, is the main topic of the show. Astrology is amazing.

Natalie: Yeah, it's all about, transformation. And then on top of that, it's in the seventh house, which is to have the relationships so you're transforming people through your relationship with them.

And, Scorpio, is also very powerful. Scorpio, I like to call it the alchemist in the mystic because it's almost like you're able to turn anything that one might have looked at garbage or a very difficult kind of breaking point a lot of, Scorpio, energy it has to hit rock bottom. And you know, you talked about how you went from poverty in Guyana to abundance in America.

Myrna: What is Psych-K and how do you help others heal through it?

Using Psych-K Astrology to heal others

Natalie: It's almost like the chart, it’s like a treasure map. So, with psych K, this incredible modality that basically uses muscle testing in order for us to test out what is something that you believe so for example, we could see in your, birth chart, you are a, Libra moon. That may be one of the shadows or there could have been some level of codependency in your life or that maybe people were codependent upon you or something that's maybe in the shadow side of relationships. Does that resonate at all?

Myrna: Well, I was never codependent, but people probably were codependent on me. It was always an independent a woman.

Natalie: And so, we could say something, or we could even use like transformation. Like there's, there's all these things that we can see in your, birth chart, that will show us something, some type of belief that potentially may not be a healthy belief. And then we use an affirmation or a goal statement. So, let's say a lot of people’s belief is I am not enough, or I am not worthy, or I am not worthy of love. I am not worthy of money. And so, then we would talk a little bit about that, we could see in your, birth chart, why you feel this way?

And then what we do is, we actually will muscle test and we can do this virtually where my subconscious will ask you you're whoever my client is, and I'm working with their subconscious for permission to muscle tests on their behalf. And I know it sounds very woowoo, but it actually is very scientific. Hey, it's just our subconscious saying, Can I do this for you?

And so typically, then we'll muscle test and we'll get a positive or a negative or a strong or a weak and then the person will move through living outside experience and saying, you know, I am worthy, or I am enough. And then the G is a school that was held live last year and now people can buy the tape for replay, and you can learn how to read your own, birth chart.

Conclusion

And we go in depth into all of the planets, all of the signs, all of the houses, everything that we talked about, so that you can really start to piece together everything and with the school if you were to purchase it online, there's also an option to get, additional sessions and help from me so that you can we can really go deep into your, birth chart.

My podcast is, the cosmic Earth podcast. We do the same thing where I will talk about once a week about what's going on into cosmos and then have amazing guests on like yourself to talk about what else is happening there and how to read their, astrology, chart.

Check out your Birth Chart and anything you want to know about, astrology, on Natalie website: natalieholbrookwellness.com

Additional Resources

Master Lama Rasaji: Harmonizing Mind Body Spirit

Life Coaching, marriage makeover, relationship coaching, transformation Friday

The Effects of Criticism in Marriages

September 16, 2022 Myrna Young

The number one thing that ruins a, marital relationship, or any committed relationship is, criticism. Try not to do it to anyone, your kids, your spouse, your friends, or your customers. Noone wants to be criticized, because they think that they are doing what is right. Instead state how something makes you feel. Voice your complaint by stating how it affects you and do not assassinate the character of the other person.

Download the podcast here

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Why Criticism kills marriages

We have all heard that men want respect and women are emotional creatures, needing love and affection. So, that means if a man wants to improve his, marital relationship, he needs to show his wife love and affection and if a woman wants to improve her marriage, she must show respect, right? So why does, criticism, kill marriages?

You are probably saying to yourself, that is some messed up advice. By wait here is the reason.

Studies show that no one ever does anything they feel is wrong, so it does you no good to point it out.

The verb in the sentence is the important word. Feel.
Put another way, whatever we perceive is our reality.
99.9 percent of men and women can justify to themselves or anyone who would listen, any action or none action, they have taken.

Podbay FM Transform Your Mind Podcast — Podbay FM

Two-Gun Crowley a kind killer

On May 7 1931 New York City witnessed the most sensational manhunt the city had ever known to this point. After weeks on the loose “Two-Gun” Crowley, the killer, was trapped in an apartment on West End Avenue.

One hundred and fifty police officers and detectives laid siege to his top floor hideaway. For hours the residential sections reverberated with the rat-tat-tat of gun fire from the police and Two-Gun Crowley.

While Crowley lay bleeding from his gunshot wounds, he penned a note that read “To whom it may concern. Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one, one that would do nobody no harm”
If you had never heard this story before, you may be thinking that the police had the wrong man; but no. Crowley was the same man who was necking with his girl on a country road on Long Island when a police officer walked up to the parked car and asked him to show his license.

Without saying a word, Crowley drew his gun and cut the police officer down with a shower of bullets. As the officer lay dying on the ground, he jumped out of the car grabbed the officer’s gun and fired another round of bullets into the prostrate body. That was the killer who wrote “under my coat is a weary, but kind heart. One that would do nobody any harm.”

We all see ourselves differently from others.

This is an extreme story, but I have experienced many people like Crowley in my own experience; from kids who steal, to spouses who cheat, to murderers who kill, nobody feels they have done anything wrong. So don't bother pointing it out to them expecting them to feel guilt. This goes a long way to, improve your marital relationships.

Even if they admit to wrongdoing, someone made them do it, they find some way to justify their actions. This phenomenon is glaringly evident on death row. Most of the prisoners on death row feel they have been victimized regardless of how heinous the crime. They are all innocent.

The #1 thing women can do to improve their relationships, is Don't criticize!

Criticism, does no good. It does nothing.
Criticism, is futile, because it puts a man on the defensive, wounds his pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses his resentment, so don't bother.
Instead make yourself perfect. The only person you can change is you anyway.
Jesus taught us this when he said “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? No one is perfect.

That is not to say that your brother has no speck or has done no wrong, but we are only responsible for what we do. We have no power to control others. And, criticism, does nothing to, improve, marital relationships.

What exactly is criticism?

Couples often have a difficult time distinguishing between, criticism, and voicing a complaint. Criticism, can have devastating effects because it makes the victim feel assaulted, rejected, and hurt. Couples fear that if they agree to stop, criticism, they won’t be able to have a conversation about failed agreements or promises.

For example, let’s say your partner throws his/her clothes and towels on the floor instead of putting them in the hamper. If you attack your partner by saying, “why are you so nasty? You have this place in a mess. You never clean-up after yourself,” that is, criticism. If instead you say, I would really appreciate it if you would put your clothes in the hamper, that is voicing a complaint.

Criticism, is an attack on your partner’s character. Calling your partner nasty or pointing out negative personality flaws is, criticism, because you are criticizing your partner as a whole person. In contrast, if you voice a complaint, and focus on specific action or behavior, and ask for a different action or behavior, that is different from, criticism.

Let’s look at another example. Women are always complaining about quality time and no affection from their man. If you say “You are not marriage material, you don’t know how to love a woman” That is criticism, if you say instead “I love your hands around me, I could use a hug,” that is saying the same thing in a different way. So, when I say don’t criticize, I don’t mean become deaf and mute. It is always better to communicate how you feel.

Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

Criticism affects intimacy

One might think that the last person we’d want to say hurtful things to would be your marriage partner, the one you love. When we criticize it affects, Intimacy, because the wounded partner wants nothing to do with you. We are hard wired to focus on negative aspects instead of the positive aspects of our partners. We would focus on the clothes all over the floor and a filthy bathroom sink and not on the fact that our husband worked a full week, paid all the bills and rubbed our feet.

This is called a “negative bias”. Our brain is built to automatically place more weight on unpleasant news or nastiness. That is why the news is so negative, it sells more papers or gets more ratings. Negative bias, kicks in automatically at the earliest stages of processing information. As a result, our attitudes are more heavily influenced by downbeat news than good news. That is why the constant, criticism, by a spouse tips the balance of a relationship from mundane to miserable?

The bible says “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” It clearly states that it is better to live on the roof than with a nagging wife and most husbands experiencing this situation would agree.

How to protect yourself from criticism

“How does a person survive constant, criticism, in a, marriage relationship?

People adapt to a partner’s constant, criticism, by employing various survival tactics, such as:

– Self-protection

If the woman is critical, then the man goes into his man cave. It could be a physical room, or he withdraws and stops communication. If the man is the critical one the woman also withdraws, and her self-esteem is deflated. Some develop an intensely defensive personality to shield themselves from the harsh lash of the critical partner. Others hide their “authentic selves” as a protective mechanism, letting out only the part stamped “partner approved”. They become a pleaser. They may feel the need to shrink their personality to avoid criticism which can result in loss of self.

–Distancing.

To fend off, criticism, in a, marriage relationship, a partner surrounds him/herself with a safe buffer zone from which he/she responds politely as if from afar. Friends, work, children, exercise, social media, television, books, and newspapers can serve as buffers. We all know the spouse who is never home, always finds things to do outside the home. That is distancing.

–Withdrawal

A criticized partner withdraws and becomes emotionally unavailable. He/she preserves the “self” by building a wall to keep the critical partner away. He/she refuses to engage or react when criticized. Instead, he/she takes it and most likely adds another brick in the wall of resentment each time they are attacked, belittled, or berated.

–Substance Abuse

Another common reaction to, criticism, in a, marital relationship, is, substance abuse. To survive emotionally, the criticized partner numbs the pain of engaging with his/her partner. Substance abuse, as a, coping mechanism, usually leads to further deterioration of the, marital relationship, as well as a host of other serious problems.

How to stop yourself from criticizing your partner

If you feel the impulse to criticize here are a few tips to stop yourself

Count to 10. Breathe, bite your tongue, wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it each time you feel the impulse to, criticize.
Do whatever it takes to do to stop finding fault, belittling, reproaching, nit-picking, cutting down, or chastising your partner.
Decide the kind of person you want to be and how you want to show up in your relationship.
Work at accepting your partner, even his/her annoying traits, harmless bad habits, quirks, and idiosyncrasies.
Resign yourself to the fact that you will not change your partner. I repeat: Criticism, will not change your partner.

The Effects of Criticism on Relationships

Here is some research on the, effects of criticism on relationships.

Here is a marriage story

Dr Julie said she had the good pleasure of counseling a woman who simply had to be the world's greatest criticizer. I have to admit that I was in awe at her absolute hard-core ability to criticize. I can remember sitting back and thinking, “Wow, this lady could win some kind of award – she is amazing!” Her husband was a pot smoker and there was nothing good she could say about him – from the way he chewed his food, to his driving, or the way he snored at night. I counselled her to change her criticism to requests. In time she became one of the world's greatest requesters.

One Mother's Day (instead of criticizing) she composed a Wish List for her husband. It started with something like this – “Dear Husband, if you would like to have an immensely happy wife this Mother's Day you can do so by getting me one of the following…” She listed about eight items each with a box to check next to the items she desired. Much to her surprise she received several things off the list (not just one!). She promptly rewarded her husband by telling him how happy she was and gave him a huge, heartfelt hug. Her husband began to learn that he could actually make his wife happy. This took a long time because he had come to believe that there was nothing that he could say or do that would ever please her.

So, what happened with this, marriage? In spite of the fact that she became an excellent requester, her husband would not give up his pot and she really struggled with staying married to him. She was lonely and the kids had an absent father. After much debate and prayer, she decided to stay. She would love this man with his addiction. Years later her husband’s heart was won over to Christ and he stopped, smoking pot. The world's greatest criticizer became the world's most grateful wife. That is why you must give it to God. Only God can change man.

Drs. John & Julie Gottman are therapists who have done the most research on the, effects of criticism on relationships. The two are famous for their “love lab,” in which hundreds of couples were screened, interviewed and observed over the course of two decades. As a result of their research the Gottman’s could predict in less than five minutes, with 90 percent accuracy, if a couple was going to stay together or divorce.

They came up with a metaphor to describe four communication styles that can predict the end of a relationship. They termed them “The Four Horsemen” — a phrase coined after the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse from the New Testament, depicting the end of time.

Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling

Criticism leads to contempt

The main problem with, criticism, is that it can pave the way for the worst of the horsemen — contempt.

Contempt, is about holding your partner in a negative light without giving them the benefit of the doubt. The contemptuous partner is usually attacking from a place of superiority. This can send their partner the message that they are not liked, appreciated, understood or respected. This does little to create a safe, secure and trusting bond in the relationship.

Treating your partner with, contempt, is the single greatest predictor of divorce, according to Dr. Gottman’s work. It is by far the most destructive of the, four communication styles.

Contempt, and relentless, criticism, put a couple at war with each other. This is the opposite of the couple bubble. Smart partners who want to create a strong and happy relationship need to do all that they can to preserve and foster a strong couple bubble.

In this model, criticism, is seen as part of what’s called “the negative cycle.” The negative cycle is an interaction cycle between two people that, when left unchecked, can create an enormous amount of distance and disconnection in a relationship.

All relationships have some conflict and disappointments. This is actually healthy. Conflicts and disappointments don’t have to destroy a relationship. It is how the couple handles them that matters.

You should never marry or move in with someone until you have had your first fight. It is important to know how someone fights. Do they call you nasty names when you fight? Do you hit below the belt by throwing in your face things they know that hurt you? Do they refuse to engage and walk away? Or do you sit down and talk it out everyone voicing their opinion and having a fair hearing?

Conclusion

So, let’s circle back to our topic. The number one thing that ruins a marital relationship or any committed relationship is, criticism. Try not to do it to anyone, your kids, your spouse, your friends, your customers. Noone wants to be criticized, because they think that they are doing what is right. Instead state how something makes you feel. Voice your complaint by stating how it affects you and do not assassinate the character of the other person.

Thanks to tuning into this week’s episode of Transformation Friday, I appreciate your time and hope I deliver value. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

In a Unhealthy Relationship? Should you Stay or Go.

How to loose weight, Life Coaching, weight loss

How to Get Rid of Your Fat Cells with Liposuction

September 12, 2022 Myrna Young

With, liposuction, you're not losing fat alone. You don't lose fat alone. You're losing water weight and poop and inflammation and salt. You're losing pure fat cells and that's permanent. Adults do not make back fat cells, so when you suck out your fat cells, they do not grow back. It is permanent.

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Bio

Dr Gregory has had 16 years of experience as a board-certified Emergency Medicine physician. Through her extensive training, she has developed a passion for patient advocacy, holistic wellbeing, weight loss, fitness, and cosmetic procedures. She has discovered how to transform into the best version of herself, and she is now ready to walk this journey with her patients by engaging in life-changing activities focused on the synergy of the mind, body, and soul.

She can empathize with her patients, and carefully customize a journey with each one of them, based on their needs. Dr. Gregory shows how a person can heal when they are treated holistically. Dr. Gregory cares for patients with passion and motivation for wellness, patients looking for a physician with unparalleled bedside manner, and patients ready to commit to transforming their lives.

Myrna: Tell us how you became a plastic surgeon

Dr Bilge: My story starts when I was working in the emergency room; I had a problem getting a good night sleep, so my primary care doctor prescribed a sleep aide that wasn't addictive, but it was prescription strength. She prescribed me a medicine. What happened ultimately was when, in September of 2015, I was getting ready to work a shift the very next morning at 6am and I was had taken my medicine the night before. About an hour after I had I found myself face down in a dark in my dark living room, in a pool of blood. I didn't know it was blood because it was dark. I got up and I went to the bathroom and my entire face was crushed.

Myrna: I guess you blacked out blacked out I'm assuming.

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Life events leading to plastic surgery

Dr Bilge: Exactly right. I didn't know at the moment, but obviously, in hindsight, what we discovered was my heart had stopped from medicine. When your heart stops, it's not like a fainting spell where you're dizzy and then you fall and usually your hands block your fall. I had what they call a drop attack. So essentially, I went from upright to face down. I must have been sleepwalking. I crushed my skull in four places. I had fractures in my forehead, my orbit my nose. I had lacerations, I was concussed, and I was essentially a vegetable for a period of time, especially in the beginning. I spent some time in the ICU, and then about a month later, I was right back in the ER.

Myrna: Wow I really understand why you became a, plastic surgeon.

Dr Bilge: All right, so that was one big wake up call. And I can honestly say I was already starting to have these Inklings or intuitions about my career in life. Because the burnout was real, and I wasn't ready to accept that. I had been forewarned that that was a potential for many ER doctors, but I just thought I would be able to avoid that kind of consequence, but I wasn't able to obviously. So, the burnout got worse.

Less than a year later, I was again working in the emergency department. I was actually at home when I first developed a pain in my neck. And it was within 24 hours while I was working my shift in the emergency department, the pain started to migrate down my arm to the point where I felt like I had a broken shoulder, and I was like what is this? And it went into my fingers. So, it wasn't a sudden rupture like my disk had literally popped out and compress my nerves in that timeframe. So, it was like a heart attack with my arm.

Myrna: Wow because the symptoms of a heart attack is pain in your arm right

Dr Bilge: Yeah, but it wasn't my heart. It was my nerve. So ultimately, they did an MRI of my neck, and they found that my disc must have been weakened from the injury the year before and now was pinching my nerve.

The pain was so bad, they were literally trying to put me on unconscious to try to suppress the pain. When a nerve is in pinch, it's not like a heart attack, blood flow or nerve flow is impinged quickly. There's really no comparable pain on this planet to it. I ended up having emergency surgery to have part of my disc removed and pushed back in place. Thankfully nothing fused. So, I have good mobility, but I almost lost all function of my arm.

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Introduction to high-definition liposuction

Myrna: Did your nerve regenerate?

Dr Bilge: Yes, it did, but it took me months. Then I went through another life trauma and decided to find another career. A friend of mine learned how to do, high-definition liposuction. In the meantime, when he was out doing his thing, and he's like, I can teach you that and I'm thinking, are you serious? Is this a possibility? So, these are the life events that led to becoming a, plastic surgeon.

Myrna: I want to ask you a question. You said that you couldn't sleep. So, the doctor gave you something and that's what happened. So, is melatonin safe? Because they're saying that, melatonin, is actually very good for you and I take, melatonin. So, is that like the only safe sleeping aid?

Dr Bilge: I actually don't consider it a good sleep aid. Because it's naturally formed in our body and taking external, melatonin, you're actually suppressing your own body's ability to create it. So no, I don't consider that as a sleep option.

Myrna: Okay, is there any good options for someone that's reading this? Because, you know, they say that in America 70% of people can't sleep. And that came out when Michael Jackson had his problem because he couldn't sleep, and they said that 70% of Americans can't sleep. Now doctors prescribe, melatonin. But you're right. You're messing with your, circadian rhythm, but if your, circadian rhythm, is off and you can't sleep, what should people do?

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Plastic surgery liposuction

Dr Bilge: There's no simple answer for that. And I personally have the thought that other than specifically vitamins, I would always work on people's methods of sleep through, mind body techniques.

Myrna: What kind of, plastic surgery, do you do? I know that you said something about, liposuction. You talked about injectables and all that. So, are you a full body, Plastic Surgeon? Are you just working with the face? So. tell us what kind of, plastic surgery, you do.

Dr Bilge: As a, plastic surgeon, I don't perform, plastic surgery, techniques such as, tummy tucks, and, breast lifts or, breast augmentation. Those do require more training. What I specifically do, like my bread and butter is the, high-definition liposuction, with a technology called, Fun sculpting, which has a very interesting term. But the reason it's unique is it's the only type of, liposuction, that will not rip, cut, tear, or kill tissue.

I talk with my patients about the differences between, different types of, liposuction, and most people know the classic, liposuction, as what's offered in the United States, that's about over 90% of what's available. And it's unfortunate because it's really old technology, and it's exactly what you see on TV, that brutal arm movement of the doctor.

It's a vacuum on a stick, and it's really not ideal for a variety of body parts because it can destroy the tissue underneath, which is what I mean when I say rip, cut, tear when you're making those powerful arm movements with a cannula. You're literally pushing through the tissue in a forceful manner and causing destruction of those fibers that hold the skin to the muscle. I talk to my patients about myself. I'm a guinea pig. I've had, liposuction, myself twice. The first time the old school way not knowing that the other ways existed.

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Difference between high-definition liposuction and traditional liposuction

To be clear and honest is not necessarily their bread and butter. They don't want to do the traditional, liposuction, because it's labor intensive. On it takes more time to get the job done. So, they're thinking, why not make the same amount of money doing the, tummy tuck, in two hours as opposed to, liposuction, that would take four hours.

The other cool selling point of this particular technology the, high-definition liposuction, is that I can do the, liposuction, in areas that most doctors say it's not a good place to do it, because the machine vibrates. It's like a sewing machine and it allows me for me to go in areas that otherwise would have required surgery. I can do great job with the fat on the arm. I can do a great job with bellies. In fact, I'm not really sure if you've ever heard of what a Panis is, but a panacea is when you have an abdomen that flaps over.

Myrna: So how does, high-definition liposuction, work? Does it suck out the fat or freeze the fat?

Dr Bilge: Oh, it does suck it out. It does suck it, but the technology is vibratory, so it let get me into tissue without pushing. So, I'm not destroying. If you were to look at me doing the surgery, I look like any other lipo surgeon except for my hands are not pushing really hard. That's the difference. I'm not ramming a vacuum I am gently pushing.

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What is CoolSculpting

I hate, CoolSculpting, I'm not that kind of person who beat around the bush with opinions.

Myrna: So, is CoolSculpting, cheaper?

Dr Bilge: No, that's the problem. CoolSculpting, is a quote non-surgical way of killing fat, but there's no guarantee of the percentage of fat you're gonna lose. So, you sit there, and you pay something in the 1000s for a maybe. There's no way I would ever tell somebody that's the way to go. You want to know that fat is falling away. I've had people come to me and tell me they've spent $10,000 plus dollars for, CoolSculpting, and got maybe 10 to 15% fat loss: that's not a valuable project.

With, liposuction, you're not losing fat along. You don't lose fat alone. When you're losing weight. You're losing water weight and poop and inflammation and salt. That's what when you're losing pure fat cells and that permanent. Adults do not make back fat cells, so when you suck out your fat cells, they do not grow back. It is permanent.

Myrna: I heard that so thank you for confirming that.

Dr Bilge: That is why childhood obesity is a big issue, right? Because if you children are born with let's, say 5 million fat cells, and you overfeed a child, you will create 10 million fat cells and the child is going to fight that for the rest of their life. But as an adult it's different. So, this is what I tell my patients, you make your size, I make your shape.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast — Podbean

I was a perfect example. I show pictures of my body. I had gained almost 40 pounds. I was feeling that emotional stuff. That stuff I was telling you about. It was a few years after my injury, I was almost 150 pounds and these images I have, but you would never think that because I still had the hourglass figure, and I had no love handle.

Because again, my shape was the same. It was just a bigger version of me. So that's something that that's really helpful for people is, you know, let's say you have love handles that you can't stand or saddlebags. Once those get suctioned out, they're gone forever. You can still gain weight, but it's gonna go all over your body in all the other places in the same shape.

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Metaphysical life hacks for transformation

Myrna: So, you also have some, metaphysical life hacks, which is definitely what we want to talk about. What are those, tell us about that?

Dr Bilge: Oh, I'm basically through all of the experiences I've had over the last few years I've really started homing in on, personal development, and I've started steering away from a lot of the allopathic medicine. I used to feel like there was a pill for everything and now I'm like, there's no pill for nothing. Because I started doing more research in the scientific realm, from scientists who started understanding the, mind body connection, but also using their scientific background to show the science. So, two examples I can give you are, you are the Placebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza. And the Biology of Belief by Dr. Bruce Lipton.

I have a new understanding of, quantum physics, and the fact that things can change in a quantum nanosecond, and that matter really isn't matter. It's really just little vibrating tornadoes of energy, that you can shift matter in such a way that you can heal with the mind. So, I became a perfect example of that. One example would be peptic ulcer disease. I had peptic ulcer disease or acid reflux in my stomach from age 16. Up until about three years ago, literally, I'm cured of the disease. How not because I took pills for 25 years, which I did.

It was because I learned about my energy center in my stomach and what I was dealing with emotionally. I was creating that and once I was cured out of it, I was starting to meditate myself into my own healing. In hindsight, when you're asking about metaphysical anatomy, I share this book with people it's called Metaphysical Anatomy. And you literally read a diagnosis such as peptic ulcer disease and the emotional disorders that are associated with that. And it was like I was reading my diary, like I have read like somebody had written my childhood and my early adulthood in that chapter. And it made so much sense in my mind, but because at that point, I was cured. I shifted my thoughts and changed my life.

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Self-healing with meditation

Myrna: I agree, I got rid of my, sciatica nerve pain, by just breathing into it meditating and relaxing.

Dr Bilge: Your sciatic nerve is in your, root chakra, just so you know. So, the root chakra, is where the base of all things, so it's like your tribal history, your history of ancestors. It's about money. It's about power, and it's about sex. So, if any of those areas in your life are impacted, then those root chakra areas will be impacted. Mine was a, self-empowerment, thing. So, it was my solar plexus self-power.

Okay, so, that whole thing about what I told you being separated from my parents, it was during that time that I started on creating more self-power, because I realized I had grown up becoming a people pleaser. I was becoming a more authentic version of myself and swallowing those parts of me that weren't being received well and becoming a performer.

Myrna: Whatever you stuff down is still in there and shows up when triggered.

Dr Bilge: Exactly, So it's still right back up. So as soon as I started addressing the problem directly, like you said, then the system started improving. So that's what we do when patients come here for consultations, because really, this is not just about your body image. It's not just about having a few fat cells extra in your armpit or whatever. It's not about that. It's about the self-sabotage, right?

You look in the mirror and judging the constant thoughts in your head that are self-sabotaging. And what do you do with that you translate that energy out into the world. And so, you're literally thinking about how fat your tummy is. And that energy is constant. It's the butterfly effect. You're constantly putting that out. And I say to people, this isn't just about the, liposuction. This is about how you think about yourself.

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Liposuction post care

Myrna: How is your, liposuction post care, different from other post operative treatments?

Dr Bilge: So, when it comes to, liposuction, there are a few countries in the world that are extremely well versed and experienced for example Colombia, Dominican Republic, Brazil, Mexico is pretty big. Their procedures are better because of the level of experience and it's just the thing that people do out there. In the US people smirk or scoff at cosmetic surgery because there's more of a stereotype associated with it, etc. Whereas in countries like that, it's just part of their journey. Like if you didn't have it, you're the weird one.

So, they go they have their, liposuction surgery, and then in the recovery house, they have nurses and postdoc care technicians doing, lymphatic drainage, they do needle aspiration of extra fluid. Once they're healed enough, they do wooden tool. They've got machines like radio frequency, ultrasound, carboxy therapy. All of those things take a bit to explain, but let's just say it's a whole complement of equipment, and treatment options for patients once they'd have, liposuction surgery.

I would equate it to having physical therapy after you have a knee replacement. You certainly wouldn't skip out on that. So, when you do procedure that's cosmetic, specifically, liposuction, is a real important one. There's a lot of swelling involved because you have to fill their tissue with fluid in order to extract the fat. The swelling can cause scar tissue and a hardening etc. That all has to be addressed Postoperatively so the surgery does most of the work, but you still need to get in there and optimize your results.

So, what I did was flew my staff out to the east coast and we were trained by Colombian nurses, how to take care of post op label patients in the way they do.

You can head over to vitalconnectionsmd.com to see our work.

I spend a lot of my time putting content out on Instagram. My handle is at Vital_connection_MD

Additional Resources

How to use Food for Beauty and Your Natural Facelift | Transform Your Mind Podcast (myhelps.us)

creating wealth, Life Coaching, Personal Development, setting goals, transformation Friday

Desire – I got to have it

September 9, 2022 Myrna Young

Welcome to transformation Fridays with coach Myrna, today I want to talk on the subject of, desire – when you, got to have it.

Desire is energy, the, energy of desire, is a force that creates movement towards a desired goal or purpose. The target determines the arrow! When you, desire, something, you think about it all the time and the universe gets to work on manifesting it for you.

When we use the word, desire, we could mean either one of 2 things, the desire, for things, or the desire for sex, sexual desire. In this episode I share tools on how to manifest your, desire for money, and other tangible things.

Download Podcast Here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11270228-desire-i-got-to-have-it.mp3?download=true

When you got to have it

The concept of a, burning desire, was introduced at the beginning of the book “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. In the book Hill tells the story of a little girl whose momma sent her to get 50 cents from her uncle. This little girl went and told her uncle my momma would like to have 50 cents. The uncle replied tell your momma I don’t have no 50 cents.

But the little girl did not leave she just waited. Minutes go by and the uncle turns around from what he has been doing and noticed the girl still standing at the door, he says go on now before I take a belt to you. Still the little girl would not leave. Finally, he walks towards her preparing to give her the belt and this little walks towards him looking him straight in the eye and yelled at the top of her lungs “my momma got to have that 50 cents”

The uncle amazed put his hand in his pocket and took out 50 cents and gave it to her.

A, burning desire, what is when you, got to have it. If you, got to have it, you won’t go away when someone tells you no, you won’t throw in the towel at the first failure. You won’t move until you get it.

Sylvester Stallone had to have the part of Rocky Balboa

I love the story of Sylvester Stallone. I have a chapter dedicated to, desire, in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” and I tell the story of Sylvester Stallone. If you have never heard it let me share.

Sylvester Stallone was broke, that’s usually how good stories start. When you hit rock bottom the only place you can go is up.

Anyway, Sylvester was broke and couldn’t afford heat in his home. One day he decided to go into the library to get warm and someone left a book on the table he was sitting on. He decided to read this book. It was a compilation of the works of Edgar Allan Poe. He devoured the book. He said that the book moved him and helped him to stop thinking about himself and to want to help other people. It made him want to become a writer.

He immediately went home and starting writing movie scripts. He wrote a few screen plays and made a few bucks. One day he happened to watch the Mohamed Ali vs Chuck Wepner fight and was inspired to write the story of Rocky Balboa about a nobody fighter given the “million to one opportunity” to challenge for the heavy weight title. He sat down and wrote this script straight for 20 hours without taking a break.

Then he started pitching the script to producers. He was turned down by several studios until he found one that offered him $150,000 for the script, but Stallone had one condition he had to star in the film as Rocky. The studio said no way we are not going to spend millions to produce a film and place an unknown guy who talked funny to play the lead. They said no way Sylvester said, no deal. His desire to play the Rocky was non-negotiable he had to have it.

Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

The energy of desire will bring you what you need

They kept upping the price they went all the way up to $450,000 and he still said no. Think of that little standing girl by the door not moving until she got her 50 cents.

Stallone would not budge his, burning desire, was to play the lead as Rocky and he had to have it. Meanwhile he was so broke that he had to sell his dog for $50 and he stole his wife’s jewelry and pawned them for money.

But just like the uncle the studio finally said yes, and the rest is history. Sylvester Stallone got his goal to be a movie star because he had to have it. The film went on to make history scoring 10 Academy awards, winning best picture and triggering one of the most financially successful movie series in history. It cost Stallone $15,000 and a part in the movie for him to buy back his dog.

My own personal story was the same, my, desire, to become an American Citizen was a, burning desire. I had to have it and I didn’t take no for an answer. I applied 3 times for permanent residence and the third time which was an act of total bravery, the immigration officer said to me it looks like you really, desire, this benefit and gave it to me! I did really want this benefit. America was my promised land, the land of milk and honey, the land of generational increase!

The energy of the desire for money

When we use the word, desire, we could mean either one of 2 things the need for things, or the desire for sex, sexual desire.

Let’s take a deep dive into both of these types of, desire.

Starting with the, desire for things let’s look at the most common goal. The, desire for money, or riches. How do we transform our, desire for money, into its physical counterpart, money, in our hands

I just finished reading the book “Think and Grow Rich” for the 5th time and the author gives us 6 steps to alchemize your, desire for money, into money in your hand.

6 steps to alchemize your desire for money

Step # 1 Name your, desire – do you want a million dollars, do you want $50,000 dollars what is the amount of money you want? It can’t be general like, I want to be rich.

Step # 2 – Select a time frame you, got to have it, by. For example, I need a million dollars in my bank account by the time I am 65 years old.

Step # 3 – What are you going to do to get this money. What service are you going to give in exchange for this money. Most people that dream of a million dollars dream of winning the lottery. This is not a bad, people win the lottery every week, but that, desire, can’t be alchemized because you are not exchanging service for pay.

If you have ever gone on YouTube, you will see literally thousands of examples of this. Every Ad is about someone selling you a course on how they made millions, and they want to share the secrets and steps with you. That is what they are offering in exchange for money.

Step # 4 – Create a plan to get this money. Let’s say you decided you want to have a million dollars in your bank account by the time you are 65 years old, and you want to make this money by selling a course on how to start an online business. This is the stage to create the plan. How are you going to find your audience, once you define your audience, how are you going to get them to click your link to your squeeze page. How will you sell your course? Will you do a webinar or workshop? Create a plan to get this money.

Step # 5 – Write it down. A plan in your head does nothing to alchemize, desire. Writing it down gives it form. Thoughts are formless, a plan on paper starts the wheels turning to bring it from the formless to form. That is money in your hands.

Step -# 6 See yourself having your desire. See yourself with a million dollars in your bank account. How is your life different, what are your doing, who are you do it with? If you plan to retire at 65 see yourself relaxing, traveling the world or just sipping margaritas in your back yard with a view of the mountains.

These are the steps according to Napoleon Hill to alchemize your, desire for money.

Now let’s look at sexual desire

In the book “The Alchemy of Desire by Tarun J Nepal the author says that love is not the greatest glue between 2 people. Sex is.

The book talks about the day he woke up after 15 years of marriage and no longer had a, sexual desire, for his wife.

He goes through the, alchemy of desire, what makes you, desire, someone and what happens when you no longer, desire, them.

He said he was still madly in love with his wife, but his, desire, for her had died. A man needs, sexual desire, to make his body parts work. The body is the true engine of life. When a man loses, sexual desire, for a woman, when this happens women ask is it me? Is it something I did? Was it something I said? The answer is I don’t know.

We don’t know why we fall in love; we don’t know why we have, sexual desire, it just happens and when it goes away, we don’t know why. What we do know is that when sex leaves a marriage it is over.

Desire is energy. Behind every, goal, is the need to feel good! Everything you, desire, is because you think it will bring you some form of pleasure.

There are 7 major positive emotions. Desire heads up the list.

The seven positive emotions are:
1. Desire
2. Faith
3. Love
4. Sex
5. Enthusiasm
6. Romance
7. Hope

Positive emotions enable the, Law of Attraction, to bring you like thoughts. Here is the process that starts with the, energy of desire.

You, desire, something, then you package it with positive emotion. Thoughts are energy travelling at a high rate of vibration. Thoughts that have been modified or stepped up by any of the major, positive emotions, vibrate at a much higher rate than ordinary thought.

When you think of your, goal, package it with, positive emotions, and see yourself walking in those, positive emotions, like happiness, gratitude, success. And when you tell yourself you, got to have it, the universe says okay!

Conclusion

Thanks for spending time with me today. I appreciate your time. Tune in next week for another episode of, transformation Friday, with coach Myrna. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

How to Accelerate Your Soul Journey: Clear these Money Blocks

creating wealth, financial freedom, investing in real estate, Podcast, real estate coaching, real estate investment

How to Create a Freedom Lifestyle with Investment Property

September 9, 2022 Myrna Young

Mike Wolf has made millions from, investment property, and created, freedom lifestyles, for many of his investors. Mike has helped investors in the Atlanta area build wealth and passive income from, investment property, by offering them turnkey services.

I wanted to spend some time on how to build wealth through the vehicle of, investment property, As you know I am a Realtor, an Investor, Property Manager and a, Life Coach, so I have a very high-level overview of how to build wealth through home ownership or with, investment property.

So, this month I will be interviewing experts in the field of, real estate investments, investment property, as I help you to get into the space of building wealth.

Wealth is the vehicle that you need for any successful venture in your life, whether it's to give your kids a better life, whether it's to have financial freedom, whether it is to retire wealthy, whatever you need to do, you need money unfortunately to do it with. So, building wealth through, real estate investments, investment property, is what we're going to be focusing on for the next three remaining episodes in our four-part series.

So what I will be doing is bringing you experts who have made millions through, real estate investments, investment property, and who will share the details and how they did it so you can do it too! Be sure to subscribe to your iTunes, Google play, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or TuneIn Radio, so you're not missing any episodes.

Mike made his wealth from offering turnkey, investment property, services to in the Atlanta area. His system allows his investors to sit back and collect, passive income, while living a, freedom lifestyle,

Mike Wolfe has been a real estate investor for over 28 years. Over the years he's gone from being a workaholic who would put in 15 hour days, seven days a week to someone who works smarter, not harder. He regularly travels the globe doing humanitarian projects and seeking Sun and sand while living off the, passive income, that he's created through his, investment properties,. Mike's company sells, turn-key real estate, and, investment property, in and around Atlanta to investors around the globe. He helps his investors create truly, passive income, where they get all the benefits of owning a real estate, investment property.

Starting your investment property business

I started, investment property, in Calgary Canada. I was only investing in Canada back then at the beginning of my, passive income real estate, career but I had a friend of mine move to Las Vegas and when I went to Vegas to visit him, I got into this addiction. It's not what most people have when they go to Vegas. It was not gambling or drinking. It was actually this addiction to go look at real estate. I noticed that back in those days the prices of, investment property, kept going up and up.

I had no intention of investing in Las Vegas originally but I ended up doing it and it was kind of at that point I was forced to start building a team, because I couldn't be in two places at the same time. I couldn't go collect my rent from my, investment property, in Calgary and my rent from my, investment property, in Las Vegas. So, I reluctantly hired a property manager.

Three phases of investment property business cycle.

At first, I find most entrepreneur's do is we go through three phases if we survive long enough.

The first phase is where we do everything ourselves, usually because we don't think anybody else can do what we do as well, and we don’t have the funds to hire help. It’s kind of like for an entrepreneur our business is like a birthing a baby and you don't trust just anybody with your baby.
The second page where I had no choice but to get somebody to help me, so I reluctantly hired a property manager; but phase two is what I call the micro manager phase. I needed to about know every little thing that was going on. So I basically told my property manager to keep me in the loop with every repair, every issue with the tenants. I remember there was one week where my property manager called me twice with the same issue, it was about a broken fridge. Two of my properties had a fridge that wasn't working and in either case I tell the property manager. I don't think the tenants need a new fridge, just fix it. I realized I gave the exact same answer. Let's see what it cost to fix it and if it's over a certain amount then we'll replace it. I started thinking if I gave him the same answer both times maybe I can systematize this and instead of him having to call me, I can give him the freedom to follow our systems and procedures manual, which is to find out what is the cost to fix and if it's more than X number dollars let's just replace it.
Phase three was where I hired a team and put the right persons on our team. You trust them and they do a good job for you. I started to realize that I could build a whole team like that, where I put the right people in the right position, give them a certain system so that they were following my procedures then it made me feel comfortable to let them do their thing. I would get my time back and so that was kind of the start of the transition to my, freedom lifestyle,. That now has led to a typical work day for me these days is literally. I wake up, I answer some emails and make a few phone calls when Myrna asked me to do a radio interview I do that and then I'm done for the day!

How to become efficient in, investment property, business:

After 28 years in the, investment property, business I still go to seminars. I still open to seeing how other people run their businesses and how they make their money. I'm always looking to be more efficient. I also do a lot of personal development of work on myself. Back in the early days I thought I was too good for all that; but the most successful people I know are all lifelong learners, or at least they're always trying to strive to be better and get to that next level.

I'm making it sound like it was a very short transition like I just did some deals and I became rich and start traveling the world. There were a lot of ups and downs along the way.

Let's say that you know someone is listening to this podcast right now and they want to quit their job and go into real estate full-time, because obviously they can make much more money in, investment property, real estate then they can working for a pay check.

How would someone start an, investment property, Business?

If I could go back 28 years and talk to myself, the first thing I would ask myself is, Do I want to have my money work for me, or do I want to work for money?

Take advantage of the benefits of, investing in real estate, to create, passive income,

Investment property, is something you buy once and it generates income forever until you sell it.

You've got to be ready for that kind of commitment. You’ve got to treat, investment property, as a career. You don't dabble in it. If you dabble in it and try and mix it part-time and with your job, I don't see very many people being successful.

That's the number one thing. Figure out what type of investors you want to be. You want to be creating, passive income, or you want to get out of your job and make this your career?

Make sure you have a passion for, investment property, don't get into it just because you see those shows on TV that make it look really easy, flipping this property and that property. These shows make it looks like you can just every day wake up find a property, flip it, make a couple hundred grand and call it a day. It doesn't work like that.

So number one thing is to figure out what kind of investor you want to be. Then the second thing that I would do is figure out what resources you have. Whichever side of that equation you're on. Whether you're the passive investor side or whether you're an active investor. Figure out what your resources are. How much cash you have available? How much time do you have? How much education do you have?

When I first started I got really lucky on that first deal, otherwise there would have never been a second deal. Then I had some humbling experiences that made me go get educated. I got a mentor, somebody to help me. So I didn't go winging it.

Joint ventures in, investment Property,

If you were to go do a joint venture with somebody. You have to decide what are you bringing to the table. Are you bringing money? Are you bringing the ability to qualify for the mortgage? Are you bringing education? Or are you're bringing access to good deals? Figure out what you're adding and then figure out what you're lacking and then go find joint venture partners. Find other people that have the pieces that you're lacking. So if you have a lot of spare time and no money, there's a lot of people out there with money who can't create more hours.

I want to be enjoying time with my grandson and my daughter doing a lot of volunteer work and humanitarian things. I don't want to be door knocking, looking for good deals anymore. So if I find somebody who's got some time, I have got the money.

If you start off on that track asking yourself those two questions, then you're going to have a pretty realistic chance of succeeding and going forward in your, investment property, business. A lot of people have really big dreams because they go to some seminar where they make it sound really easy, because they're trying to sell you some high-end expensive, investment property, coaching program. They fill your mind with all these things you can achieve and probably only about two percent of people who go to those seminars ever end up not even earning their money back that they spent on the seminars!

People come to me after they've invested a lot of money in their education and their education is pretty much worthless. So make sure you do your homework and you know what the reputation is of these quote-unquote gurus that are selling stuff. They are professional marketers.

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Biggest Myths in, real estate investment, investment property,

I think I think a lot of myths are perpetuated by the media. We see all these shows about flipping this and flipping that. I feel the biggest myth is that you know, real estate investment, and, investment property, can create, passive income, but it can also become something that takes up a lot of your time. You might be trading your eight-hour day job for a 20 hour a day job. It can be fun it's exciting because you're out there and you're meeting new people but sometimes when you spend so many hours working on your business, you kind of forget about things such as your health, such as your family and other things start to fall apart.

A lot of people get into, real estate investments, investment property, because they think it's going to change their lifestyle to a, freedom lifestyle, and they actually end up with actually sometimes with a worse lifestyle with no freedom, because, investment property, is something you take home with you every day. You can't just say oh I'm going to work from 9:00 to 5:00 today on my, real estate investment, business. Because guess what at six o'clock when you're having dinner with your family, a tenant will call about a leak in the bathroom! And you have to take care of it.

Additional Resources:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesrealestatecouncil/2018/07/26/eight-things-you-need-to-know-before-buying-your-first-investment-property/#10ac9ea45a93

https://time.com/money/collection-post/2954483/should-i-buy-an-investment-property/

http://blog.myhelps.us/real-estate-investment-fund-fix-flip-series-are-rental-properties-worth-the-headache/

http://blog.myhelps.us/true-wealth-path-financial-freedom/

health, Life Coaching, mental health counseling

Why Health Literacy for Children is Important

September 5, 2022 Myrna Young

Michael Dow , author of the Nurse Florence Children's book series says that poor, health literacy, is a real thing. And so, nurse Florence, children's book series addresses these issues in many different ways. Not only does the general science help just bring basic education, like how do we smell things? How do we hear things? How do we see things? Basic things like, how does the brain work or how our nervous system works. But we've also started exploring disease topics such as, nurse Florence, what is kidney disease, nurse Florence, what is a heart attack?

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11254192-why-health-literacy-for-children-is-important.mp3?download=true

Bio

Michael Stephen Dow graduated nursing school in August 2020. Michael now works as a Registered Nurse at an inpatient psychiatric hospital. Michael is the Founder and Manager of Dow Creative Enterprises, LLC. His books have garnered the Silver Nautilus Book award in 2020 (Nurse Florence, Help I’m Bleeding) and an Award-Winning Finalist in the Religion category for the 2021 International Book Awards (A Prayer to Our Father in the Heavens: Possibly the Greatest Jewish Prayer of All Time). Michael believes we will need the best of science and religion to successfully navigate ourselves, our civilization, through the future obstacles we will face.

Myrna: Why did you become a children's book author?

Michael: My mom always said I would be a good author of children’s books. I wrote my first book, then I got my kids to read it, to be like a reviewer of the book. And in that first book, I thought it was really good. So, I submitted it for some Book Awards, and we got the silver Nautilus Book Award and their slogan was “Better Books For a Better World.” So that really inspired me to just keep writing. So, I did and we've gotten three other awards for two other books so far, and we're counting. We hope to get many awards every year, I recruited a team of illustrators, and now we've published over 25 books.

My ulterior motive was to educate my own children. They are in the review process and they get editor money, especially when they find that one misspelled word.

Myrna: How old are your kids?

Michael: Well, I have a 15-year-old autistic child so, he's not really reading books and then I have a 12-year-old and a nine-year-old.

Nurse Florence tell me things about the heart

Nurse Florence Children's books teaches health literacy to kids as young as 4 years old

Myrna: What age range are you targeting with these books?

Michael: I think it's between ages 7 and 12. But, but we've already got some feedback that some parents have read the book to like four- and five-year-old and it because that there's pictures on every other page. One side is the picture, either a science drawing or maybe a drawing of the kids interacting with the nurse, and then the tech so the four- or five-year old’s are even enjoying listening to their parents read. And again, it is written at a pretty basic level. But we do introduce some medical words to kids in every book.

Myrna: Yeah. I absolutely love it. I love biology, I didn't take biology until I was in high school. But I absolutely love finding out how the body works and I can just imagine, four- or five-year old’s, learning, about how the body works then have all these questions for their parents. That is the way kids are, they have a very curious mind and they have all these questions. So that's amazing. It's great to build their curiosity and to let them know, how the body works. And I would imagine that if any of this information sticks, when they do get the biology, they'll be ahead right?

Michael: That is my job. I think is to help all of these kids get a little bit ahead so that when they get to the high school class, they're hitting the ground running.

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Does Nurse Florence cover mental health topics

Myrna: I know that you are a registered nurse now and your current job is at an inpatient psychiatric hospital. So, do you have any books on, mental health? How are you using the data that you're collecting from being a nurse in a psychiatric hospital, in your books?

Michael: There are a couple of the books that I've incorporated some things about mental health. One of these books is called “How Do our Fingernails Grow? In the book Jean is very nervous about a quiz. So, she bit her fingers too far back and has to go see the nurse to get a clip. And the nurse asked her why would you pull your fingernail like that? And she says, well, because I was very nervous with that quiz. I wanted to do really good. And so then the nurse teaches her a couple of coping skills like deep breathing, and, finger tapping.

The action or an act of tapping one's finger against a surface, especially in time to a musical beat, or as a sign of anxiety, agitation, etc.

So, we have started to occasionally incorporates, mental health, coping skills in our books. But after, nurse Florence, is fully developed, which I plan there to be around 300 books in the series, then I want to do a, mental health, series that will that will focus completely on, mental health. With all the different coping skills that we can do for different disorders. So, so that's in the future.

Myrna: You're doing excellent work. That was a beautiful way of introducing, mental health. Continue with that and write about some more of the things that people do. You know, you can even get into, cutting, and all the other things that the kids do.

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Does Nurse Florence address self harm

Michael: Yeah, Self-harm, is an issue that some parents that are listening to this are dealing with. The hospital that I worked at we regularly have patients there that are only there for, self-harm, and some of them have very bad scars up and down their arms and legs, and then they have to wear long sleeve shirts, maybe the rest of their life. These are so embarrassed what they've done. But there’s is a book that I found called “Freedom from Self Harm” I bought extra copies of this book on Amazon and I give them to those adolescent kids that have that real, self-harm, issues.

And every single kid that I've given that to have basically said it was life changing because the authors of this book let the child know that they understand where they're coming from and why they're doing it, and what they can do to help overcome those urges. So, if you have a child that's dealing with self-harming cutting behaviors, then get them this book.

Myrna: I brought it up because you're right, it's one of the things the kids do. Even Willow Smith, who is Will Smith’s daughter was talking about how she was, cutting, herself and her parents knew nothing about it. Now, our topic is about, health literacy for children. So, you feel you felt that our country is deficient in this. So, talk to us about our country's, health literacy, whether it's a good for kids or whether it's for adults. But do people know what's going on with their bodies?

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Our country has poor health literacy

Michael: I'd like to read some things from HealthyPeople.gov so that we're on the same page. The Department of Health and Human Services defines, health literacy, as the degree to which individuals have the capacity to obtain, process and understand basic health information needed to make appropriate health decisions. So, what healthypeople.gov found is that patients with low, health literacy, levels are more likely to use the emergency department and more likely to return to the ICU after two weeks of being discharged.

They also they found that uninsured and publicly Insured, the people on Medicaid are at a higher risk for low, health literacy, and that almost half of adults who did not graduate from high school had low, health literacy. Another interesting thing that they found was that 74% of Spanish speaking, patients in the US had less than adequate, health literacy, as compared to 7% of English-speaking patients. So, the Hispanic community has an issue. Another quick little fact here is that low, health literacy, is more prevalent among older adults, minority populations, those with low set socioeconomic status, and the medically underserved people.

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They found that people with low, health literacy:

have a problem finding a doctor or even services for their medical problems or mental health problem to even know who to even look for or what kind of specialty to look for?
They have a problem filling out health forms.
They have a problem telling their doctor or their nurse about their medical history.
They have a problem seeking preventative health care and
They also have problems connecting risky behaviors in their health problems.
They have a problem managing chronic health conditions like maybe heart disease or even chronic kidney disease.
They can have a problem understanding directions on medication bottles.

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Nurse Florence addresses health literacy for children

So, poor literacy in health is a real thing. And so, nurse Florence, the series addresses these issues in many different ways. Not only does the general science help just bring basic education like how do we smell thing? How do we hear things? How do we see things? Basic things like that, you know, how does the brain work or how our nervous system works and things like that. But we've also started exploring disease topics so, Nurse Florence, what is kidney disease, nurse Florence, what is a heart attack?

So, the idea is that if a parent or grandparents had a heart attack, then the parents could buy the heart attack book and read it with your child or grandchild? To show what grandma or grandpa has just gone through? We have already started finding is that really alleviates worry by the grandkids. Parents are giving us feedback like, hey, I'm reading this book with my child and I'm learning too. So not only are we increasing the, health literacy for children, so that they can grow up good education and understanding of how the body works, but parents as well they read it with their kids. They are going to learn a couple of things.

And then one other thing I'd like to especially note out if you noticed on the website, all the different covers that, nurse Florence, is different in every book. So, the Health Resources and Services Administration says that one thing that providers can do to help with low, health literacy, is to reflect the age, cultural, ethnic and racial diversity of patients. That means we need more African American doctors and nurses. We need more Hispanic doctors and nurses we need everybody in the system. You know, to help with all the different racial diversity.

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Nurse Florence addresses Diversity and Inclusion

So, what we've done is, nurse Florence, is a different race and ethnicity in every book. And this is to inspire kids to be like, Hey Mommy, look at this nurse for she's she looks just like me. I could be a nurse when I grow up. So, we are addressing this, racial diversity, need in healthcare. We got a Native American, nurse Florence, that's been drawn right now. In one of the future books, we're going to have an Indian. We're just going to keep the ball rolling and keep all the different ethnicities, because we believe that, diversity, and also, inclusion, is very important in health care.

Maybe if we can inspire the kids while they're young, then maybe we can have a whole cohort of kids over the next five or 10 years that are gonna grow up wanting to get into the healthcare field or jobs in science, so that we can truly be racially diverse, ethnically diverse in in this important field.

One final thing about that Spanish comment is that there's a lot of low, health literacy, with the Spanish speaking. We're translating the books into Spanish and that's thanks to my wife. She's from Mexico. So, she is doing the Spanish translations and we hope to have an impact on the Hispanic community as well.

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Short list of Nurse Florence Children Book series

Myrna: That is absolutely amazing. You said a lot there. Let me see I don't have all the titles here, but some of the ones that we already talked about are:

So, these are some of the titles that I picked out from your website, what are some of the other titles that you want to highlight in this conversation?

Michael: Another of the, nurse Florence, series is “Can I get Lyme Disease from a Tick Bite?” So that was actually at the suggestion of one of the illustrators. Because, Lyme disease, is bacterial infection from the tick bite. One thing that's neat is in the book, we have a very clear drawing picture of how to remove the tick with tweezers, the wrong and the right way. So, again, back to educating parents, not only our kids gonna get educated, but if the parents read this book with their child, they're gonna see the proper technique of how to remove a tick so they don’t get, Lyme disease.

Book Nurse Florence How do we hear things

Conclusion Pick up your copy of Nurse Florence

Myrna: Sounds amazing. How can listeners get copies of your books?

Michael: So, you can go to https://nurseflorence.org/ That's our main website and it has a links to many different things. You can also find the books on Amazon. You might have to search like nurse Florence Michael Dow to get those books easily because there's so many books on, nurse Florence, and this is such a new series, the books are not at the top of the list. There's also links to the programs that we've won the four awards for the three books, so that you can see for yourself on their websites of what we've won.

And, and also, I'd like to mention that next month we're going to start a contest an essay contests for kids. The winner gets a set of free set of the, nurse Florence, current series. Why that will help them in science and in school and help with their character. The grand prize winner will get a free set of the hardcover books of every book that we published so far. And then there will be runner up that will get a couple of books. This contest will definitely be by the end of September of 2022. We're going to have the contest posted on the web site and you'll be able to do that submission so that your child can get reviewed and hopefully win the grand prize.

Additional Resources

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Life Coaching, Self-confidence, transformation Friday

How to Raise your Self-esteem by Erasing Self Doubt

September 2, 2022 Myrna Young

Coach Myrna share some tools to help you build up your, self-confidence, and, self-esteem, while starving the negative self-talk. The negative self-talk that tells you, you are not good enough. You can never make it, you are not smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough.

Welcome to, Transformation Fridays, with Coach Myrna today I would like to teach on the topic how to, raise your self esteem, by erasing, self doubt.

First let me give you the definition of, self-confidence, self-confidence, is defined as a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment.

Self-esteem, is confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect. Pretty similar.

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A self esteem story

I was listening to a Ted talk video some time back and the speaker was telling his back story. He said for 10 years he smoked crack, when he woke up and before he went to bed every day. Hoping to numb the pain of living. He was a disappointment to his mother, his wife and his children. He felt worthless! So, no, self-esteem.

On his second trip to prison, he spent a total of 8 years in prison, his adopted mother had a heart attack and died. He felt pretty low that this woman who adopted him and loved him as her own and who tried to give him a better life, was now in the hospital, and he was not there to offer her comfort. The prison did not even allow him to go to her funeral. This was the first spark of change in him. Maybe he should do something with his life other than being a mess up.

When he got out of prison this time he decided to go to college. He was now a middle-aged black man and he was in college with 20-year-old white students. Never the less he did good and now looked forward to the accolades his teachers gave him because he was performing better than expected. He said that praise was now his new drug. He lived for his teachers praises. One day one of his teachers put an application for a job on his desk. He couldn’t believe it. His teacher had, confidence, in him, his teacher had confidence in his ability to do the job.

The, self-confidence, seedling inside him got water and grew a little. As his self-confidence grew his life changed. No longer was he a non-contributing member of society, he was making a contribution. He now had a new family and 7 years after he was released from prison, he received his PHD in Physiology!

Self confidence is needed for success

Self-confidence, doesn't always come naturally. Sometimes you have to practice and practice until you build it. Sometimes it comes from your teachers, your parents, your friends or your boss.

So today I want to share some tools to help you build up your, self-confidence, and, self-esteem, while starving the negative self-talk. The negative self-talk that tells you, you are not good enough. You can never make it, you are not smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough.

But before we can get to the solution of anything or before we can get to anywhere on the map, we have to know how we got to where we are right now and pinpoint where we are.

For example. If you are at the mall and you are wanting to go to Macy's department store you look at the map and it shows “You are here” if you want to get to Macy's than you know you have to walk right or left. It is the same way in life.

Statics show that we can shed a lot of light on how we got here on the map by looking at our childhood. You see parenting does not come with a manual and some parents get it right; but most get it wrong.

Transform your Mind Podcast Index

We get our self esteem from our caregivers

Understanding your, inner child, is very important to unlocking the door of where you are on the map today. You see when you came into the world you were totally dependent on someone else to care for you. Not just to feed you, bathe you, and to keep you warm, but to love you, protect you and nurture you.

If whenever you cried your mother or caregiver came and picked you up and smiled at you and comforted you, then you transformed that into the feeling that you are important.

If, however when you cried you were ignored, then you formed the feeling that you were unwanted. Even though you have no memory of being a baby, your heart and your internal computers have a record of everything. A hypnotist can go back and pull it out. That is the root of, low self-esteem, and, self-doubt, that has now grown into an oak tree!

If you are listening to me and you are experiencing, low self-esteem, and, self-doubt, or you don't understand why you are not getting the results you want. Why you are here on the map and you can never get over there. I challenge you to do the work find out why.

I was watching Oprah Super Soul Sunday a few months ago and she had a guest who talked about going back to your childhood home in your mind and looking out the window. What do you see?

Looking out your childhood window

I grew up poor in Guyana but with a lot of love. When I looked through the window of the room, we lived in. I saw that even though I was poor, I had hope, I had love, I had friends, and I was happy. I saw that I had, self-confidence, because I did well in school and I had many boyfriends. I had, self-confidence, because I believed I was intelligent like my dad who was a professor.

What do you see when you look through the window of your childhood home? Can you find the root of your, lack of self-confidence, and, self-doubt?

Here are a few reasons we develop low self-esteem

We were inadequately nurtured as children.
We could have absorbed negative messages about ourselves and it still resides in the core of our beings.
Parents or teachers extremely critical.
Poor academic performance in school.
Did not fit in either because of looks or clothing or religion.

Trauma, Physical, sexual, and emotional abuse can all significantly affect our feelings of self-worth. If you find yourself replaying memories of abuse or otherwise feeling tormented by or ashamed of your experiences, please consider seeking treatment from a licensed clinician.

Parenting style. The way we were treated in our family of origin can affect us long after childhood. For instance, if you had a parent who constantly belittled you, compared you to others, or told you that you would never amount to anything, you likely carry those messages with you today. A parent’s struggles with, mental health, and substance abuse can also change your relationship with the world.

Bullying, harassment, and humiliation. Childhood bullying can leave a mark on your confidence when it comes to looks, intellectual and athletic abilities, and other areas of your life. Humiliating experiences in adulthood, including workplace harassment or a peer group that disrespects or demeans you, can also make you less willing to speak up for yourself or pursue ambitious goals.

Gender, race, and sexual orientation. Scores of studies show women are socialized to worry more about how they’re perceived and, therefore, to take fewer risks. Racial and cultural background and sexual orientation can make a difference, too. If you’ve been on the receiving end of discrimination, you may have internalized some negative, untrue messages about your potential and whether you “belong.”

When we grow our, self-esteem, we expand our capacity for happiness.

Here are 3 benefits of high self esteem

The higher your, self-esteem, the more equipped you are to handle life's adversities.
The higher your, self-esteem, the more ambitious you are not necessary in a career; but in forming healthy relationships and not repeating destructive patterns.
The higher your, self-esteem, the more likely you are to form nourishing bonds with others.
Higher, self esteem, enables you to love yourself.

How do you know if you love yourself?

Ask yourself these questions?
• Do I take care of myself?
• Do I make being healthy a priority?
• Am I stretching and challenging myself to be better than I am today?
• Am I living life with passion or am I just passing through?

If you answered No to any of these questions then you need to make some changes in your life before you get to 80 years old and realize that you never lived.

How to erase self-doubt

By Thinking it, speaking it and doing it!

The weeds that take over the garden of your mind can only flourish if you are a bad gardener!

You have to protect your dreams by plucking up the weeds before they grow. They will come. Self-doubt, always comes; but you have to pluck them out by speaking of your goals and doing something to get you moving towards the place on the map you want to go.

That is why you have to know where you are so you won't move in the opposite direction.

First Think it. There is nothing good or bad but thinking makes it so. William Shakespeare.

Rhonda Bryne of the secret says “What you think about you bring about”

Your thoughts affect your attitude your, self-confidence, your mood, and there is a direct relationship to your thoughts and your experiences in life.

Remember when you were a kid and your parents would tell not to hang around Johnny or Jane? They did not know why; but they knew that if you kept company with Johnny or Jane, no good would come of you.
In the same way if you keep replaying negative emotions in your head such as fear, discontent, anger, jealousy, insecurities, blame etc. then no good will come of you because you will keep attracting more negative energy to your experience.

Erase negative thoughts to erase self doubt

But let’s say you are wanting that promotion and you see yourself in this new role and you are confident that you will get this promotion then you will. You might not get it at your first try but if you keep trying and never give up it will be yours eventually; conversely, if you want this promotion; but you place road blocks in your path such as any and all negative thoughts, then chances are you will never attract this reality into your experience.

When we think, our thoughts become like magnets and attract, and then attach to like thoughts. That is why what you think about you bring about.

Nothing shows up in our life unless we attract it.

We have all seen the power of the Law of attraction in motion when if we have something bad happen to us at the beginning of the day, bad things keep on happening for the rest of the day.

So, it is very important to watch what you think.

Now let's take a look at Speak it.

The spoken word is a powerful tool and by leveraging your voice you expand your dreams from internal thoughts to external possibilities, laying the ground work for divine purpose to manifest. Deepak Chopra

When you take your thoughts, which are formless and speak them into the atmosphere you give them form. This empowers them.

Think it, speak it, do it

“Talk happiness; talk faith; talk health. Say you are well, and all will be well with you. God shall hear your words and make them true.” Ella Wheeler Wilcox

So, remember to speak it. Tell a friend or your coach of your intentions.

And lastly “just do it.” Nike made this phrase popular but it applies to more than athletics. Just do it. There will never be a better time than the present.

“He who waits to do a great deal of good at once will never do anything.”
― Samuel Johnson

So “just do it.” Think about something you have been thinking of doing for some time. Tell someone about it and then take the first step. It does not have to be a giant step. It could be as simple as doing research or taking that nice red Mercedes out for a test drive; but it will be a step in the right direction.
I hope my presentation was thought provoking. These are the principles I live by and I attract all that I want into my experience; so give it a try.
If you lacked self-confidence or self-esteem I hope this episode gave you a starting point to change your thinking because when you transform your mind you will transform your life.

Additional Resources

What Is The Foundation Of Happiness

business, creativity, emotional intelligence, Life Coaching, mindset

How to Develop an Adaptable Mindset

August 29, 2022 Myrna Young

When you have an, adaptable mindset, it means you're going to be, adaptable, to almost anything in life. So, what's the definition of an, adaptable mindset, and how can we develop it?

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Bio

Robert Overweg is the founder of the, Adaptable Mindset program. He and his team empower people to develop their own, adaptable Mindset, to develop mental flexibility. Learn how to create, mental space, and to find new possibilities. In our rapidly changing world, we keep feeling the impact of unpredictable events to which we have to adapt.

Robert teaches how, adaptability, is about empowerment and finding new perspectives. The Adaptable Mindset program has been applied at several Fortune 500 companies including Chanel, and Heineken, multiple SMEs and innovative schools. They have also supported over a thousand students and solopreneurs with their online program.

Myrna: What do you credit your, adaptable mindset, to even as a kid?

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Developing an adaptable mindset as a child

Robert: My parents gave me a lot of freedom to explore. The told me, hey, if you want to be an artist or professor, do what makes you happy. I was always photographing crawling around and founded my own photography company when I was like 17 years old. I was very naïve and I thought, hey, I can do this. I was just always failing forward again and again. I noticed that a lot of people haven't had that upbringing. But it's not necessarily to have such an upbringing to be able to flow through life.

You can also find it later on, but it takes work and that's why we found with the, Adaptable mindset program, and like all of our testimonials show that people can find their spark and find their drive can find these different perspectives again. You can make the work fun and you can make the work playful so it's it doesn't feel like a work just creating, mental space.

Myrna: When I was growing up, everybody said that, you needed to be a lawyer or a doctor, to be considered successful and they were stuck in that. If they didn't go to medical school or they didn't become a lawyer, they kind of felt that they were a failure of some sort, you know what I mean?

So, a, creative mindset, would definitely be an, adaptable mindset. Because in order to have, creativity, you've got to let energy flow through, you got to let source flow through. You got to be in touch with and feeling your environment. So that's probably why you gravitated towards, adaptability, and started your design company at 17. You had that, creativity, almost kind of built in.

So, like I started off by saying, we are, adaptable. As human beings we were born with the ability to be, adaptable. So why do we need that, adaptability? Why do you think that God hardwired us to be, adaptable, people?

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We have to adapt to survive

Robert: God did it to everything. From nature to animals otherwise you aren't able to survive. It's just a very natural thing to do. Also, if we look at new theories, we also see that it's not just survival of the fittest and adaptation. It's also working together and that's maybe something that we forgot a little bit as humankind. Most of us have heard about survival of the fittest, but not about doing as a collaborative effort. And yeah, I think like everyone also has the ability to have an, adaptable mindset, we make so many silly rules, which narrow our frame of view, which limit our own, creativity.

And then we put upon our children and we teach that limitation in schools as well because we make life simpler than it is. we compartmentalize things at school. So, we deny people who understand the entirety, you are not trained in intuition you're not trained in in compassion. You're not trained in imagination. It's mainly different kinds of sports, more of the art skills and then you get grades. And then if you if you don't pass your grades, then you're a failure like entire system is set up to compartmentalize not really help you.

Adaptable mindset in business, is the same in organizations too much compartmentalization. You're not really valued for your, creativity. And then we have media which is constantly distracting your social media which is railroads are thinking we're constantly being narrowed in a frame of view we're being boxed in. And that's not how we are meant to be meant to be. You should be able to find your own path and do whatever the heck you want actually, as long as it contributes to the to the greater good.

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An Adaptable mindset is adaptable to change

Myrna: When I thing of an, adaptable mindset, I'm thinking along the lines of, adaptable to change. Alright, so let's take the pandemic. We had to do a lot of changes and we had to, adapt. In fact, they're saying that we will never go back to where we were before. So, let's say that, we're accustomed to the grind of getting up in the morning at six o'clock and taking the train or driving in rush hour traffic to get to work and then all of a sudden, you are stuck at home by yourself.

You don't have people to talk to, you don't you don't have that communication with people. A lot of people got really depressed, because they didn't have that outlet. So, talk about that kind of, adaptability. Why do we need, adaptability, for things like crisis?

Robert: A lot of people, of course, everyone went through this experience, and some fared better than others. Right? A lot of people indeed became depressed and weren't really connected anymore to what inspired them. The people who did flourish, often took care of themselves, or went out for walks, did their own exercising, took care of proper nutrition, maybe even getting in touch with the restoration.

So, everyone has to decide. It doesn't matter if he fails, then you pick up the next one and just keep on expanding the mind even putting new information in and just keep on repeating that. Also being conscious of how the world reacts to it and what the world needs. So okay, now I need to work from home. But what can I do? You can do that by finding different perspectives and assessing how you can get out of the situation or how you can get the most out of it while remaining calm.

The world is very demanding, you need to find that countermeasures to be able to get clarity again and to connect again to what you want to do instead of the outside world.

Most people don't like change

Myrna: As you were talking, I remembered that a lot of times me personally and some people that don't like change, right? And anytime that you have opportunity to change, you kind of want to stay the same because you're comfortable there. But I found that anytime I resist change, and then I leap forward into it, It works out a whole lot better than what I was didn't want to change from. Who would have thought that people would like to work from home. But now they're finding reasons that it's a whole lot better.

You kind of, adapt, to whatever situation you're in and that's probably why God programmed us with, adaptability, because things change. Even our wealth and our health, sometimes you can go from, being very wealthy and then you're poor, and you got to, adapt. People don't really, adapt, but they at least try. Or you go from being healthy one day to being bed ridden the next day.

You got to find a way to make that work for you. You know what I mean? So, when I think of, adaptability, that's what I'm thinking of, any situation that has changed, and you got to fix it. One day you are married and you’ve got the second income and all of a sudden, you're divorced and you now you are a single mom struggling to pay your bills. We all have to develop an, adaptability mindset.

Who moved my cheese

We always resist change. I remember way back when I was in the corporate world, they, you know, one of my companies made us read this book, Who Moved My Cheese, and they made all employees read that book as part of the onboarding training because they know that people hate change, and everybody's gonna resist change. Corporations hire coaches to help people, adaptability mindset.

What are some of the pros the pros, of an, adaptable mindset?

Robert: If you have an, adaptable mindset, there’s room for growth? You ask yourself, what can I learn from it? If there's nothing that you can learn from it, just move on.

Myrna: Yeah, there's always something you can learn even if it's not what not to do. So, if we find that our personalities are the type of person that we don't like change, we're stuck in the same mode. You know, that our parents told us to do, you know what I mean? We're not growing, we're not curious. We're just stuck. How can someone in that space, develop adaptability? Is there like some steps that they can do?

Robert: Yeah, I think it's very beneficial to start with what you're curious about. Because what you're curious about is about, adaptability.

Myrna: A lot of people that are not curious, let's assume they're not curious. They're just gonna do what they know.

Curiosity leads to adaptability

Robert: Well, there's always something that you can be curious about. It can even be a TV program or channel on discovery or whatever. You do need to have a sense of, curiosity, still in you, otherwise, there needs to be a willingness from the individual. You know, that it starts there. It starts with you taking that step forward, and putting more of the stuff in your life, which inspires you.

And if you find something even if it slightly makes you curious, then keep on exploring and keep on pulling on that thread and through more of that into your life. It could also be that you just feel that your mind is totally overflowing and you don't have any space, you don't have any time to be curious.

Myrna: With an, adaptable mindset, you can change because the mindset is your software, right? So, when you have an, adaptable mindset, that means you're going to be, adaptable, to almost anything in life. So, let's discuss what is an, adaptable mindset, your definition. How can we develop that mindset?

The adaptable mindset is about openness

Robert: That's what, mindset, is that you're always able to find a fresh perspective that you have openness, openness to new ideas is a very large aspect of that. Because openness allows you to see more things. It's also about expanding our frame of mind. You know, everyone has their own specific frame of mind through which they look through the world.

And sometimes we forget that everyone has their own specific frame of mind, that the frame is like a letterbox issue to the world. It narrows your frame of view whether you notice it or not. So, it's always a good idea to start chipping away at that frame to try and expand it and expose yourself to art, to movies, to music that it lights up your soul and do that often and maybe less of the Instagram scrolling. Did you know that Kim Kardashian has a new boyfriend? Not really expanding her frame of mind?

Myrna: Yes, a lot of time and other people's business take up space in our mind. Everyone is now watching Johnny Depp.

Robert: We need to create more brain space to also filter more content, but also work on creating more cognitive flexibility through movement through sports like yoga, meditation, cycling, strength training, all of these things are scientifically proven to create more cognitive flexibility. It makes you better able to deal with uncertainty and ambiguity like strength training, strong mind and body because a strong body equals a strong mind.

Creating mental space

It's so extremely logical, but we are we've become such sedentary creatures and we're always sitting in a chair on our phone. And of course, you'll be more flexible because you've got such so much data of solutions and possibilities and your, subconscious mind, is able to make new connections. The other important thing is it's what you see with people who have great scientific discoveries Nobel Prize winners. All of these people, they also have, mental space.

And they had ways to sort of resynthesize what they experienced by playing violin, doing juggling unicycling going for long walks, going sailing, and doing that for hours. When do we still take time ever do nothing? Absolutely nothing. Or just react to something like violin or go for a walk. It's often that we have a second device for doing something else or thinking about something to think different and to speak different as well.

So, what we see is that most people change when they encounter change. They say, Ah, it's not possible. Oh, that will never happen here. And you know, all like these walls that they put up. And it's debatable if that is very helpful. But what might be more beneficial is to always think positive and how it could be possible. And just always having that open view.

The Adaptable Mindset program

Myrna: Your, adaptable mindset program, you said that you have helped over 1000 students and a lot of entrepreneurs you know solo entrepreneurs. Tell us about your program.

Robert: So, we have an online program, which is curiosity based, it's very playful. You can choose your own boss through the program and you can start with our nature game’s philosophy, doesn't really matter. And just take all your inspiration and expand your mind. There is a masterclass in there as well on how to create, mental space. There is a segment on how to deal with a, fear of failure, like all things that you use during your development, and you can just choose what you need and what resonates with you.

You don't have to do everything or actually anything at all. I don't really mind like as long as it actually works for you. So, we've got the online program, and then we do workshops, and organizational transformation in these larger organizations as well. And then normally, the first week with Chief Technology Officer head of innovation, head of digital, someone in a leadership position, and then we talk about the ENA company. How other teams are structured, what people are lacking, how to stop being stressed out, these kinds of things and then make a custom program to support people in resolving these challenges. So, you get more creativity, more imagination, more mental space, because that is what most organizations need.

Myrna: That's awesome. What's your website?

Robert: www.adaptablemindset.com

Additional Resources

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How Ketogenic Diet Helps Reverse Diabetes

August 26, 2022 Myrna Young

Thom King, Founder of the Steviva brands and author of the book “Guy Gone Keto” explains the, Ketogenic Diet, and how it helps reverse, diabetes, alleviates Alzheimer's and dementia.

Your body, the human body has the ability to burn two types of fuel. Your body can burn glucose or your body can burn, ketones,. So in the absence of glucose in your body, that's when the switch goes on and you start to burn, ketones.

I'm sure a lot of people are like what the heck are, ketones,? Ketones, are actually metabolized fat. Your liver produces ketones by metabolizing fat; so basically if you are eating a high-fat diet, lots of butter, coconut oil, avocados etc. your liver is actually metabolizing those fats and turning them into, ketones, that is a, ketogenic diet,

Your body operates very efficiently on, ketones, you have these little cells in your body called, mitochondria, that probably sounds very fancy; but think of, mitochondria, as the little batteries that powers your cells. They're found in every living thing on the face of the planet and the more you feed your, mitochondria, the more energy you have. If the, mitochondria, live on, ketones, then you want more, ketones, in your, diet. In the, ketogenic diet, you're able to produce more energy from your, mitochondria, and this elevates brain function.

I would say that the biggest benefit of the, ketogenic diet, is elevated brain function and, cognitive function.

The, ketogenic diet, not only reverses the, Diabetes epidemic; but it also alleviates Alzheimer's and dementia. People on the, ketogenic diet, also says it helps them with, brain fog, as well.

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Coconut oil, is one of the fats recommended in the, ketogenic diet, people consider, coconut oil, sort of an exogenous, ketone, but that's not 100% true. Exogenous means that you're taking it from the outside of your body and putting it into your body; but it's by consuming, coconut oil, that your body or your liver actually metabolizes that, coconut oil. The liver then converts that over to, ketones, and so you'll feel an instant rush of energy.

The, Ketogenic Diet, and Sweeteners.

The main benefit of, ketones, and the, ketonic diet, is reducing our intake of sugar. We want to reduce glucose and carbohydrates in our blood.

One of the ways to do this is to not use sugar, but use an alternative. Thom King is the founder of the Steviva Brands.

The, ketogenic diet, benefit from healthy sweeteners like Steviva because your body can’t turn it into glucose.

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The, ketogenic diet, comprises of 70% fat, 20% protein and 10% carbohydrates. The carbohydrates should come from cruciferous vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower, kale, brussels sprouts etc.; not sweeteners like sugar.

Anything that grows above the ground is essentially good to eat in the, ketogenic diet, if it grows under the ground, it is probably going to be too high on the glycemic index and you don’t want to eat it.

One the biggest principles in the, ketogenic diet, is going to be avoiding sugar, because sugar will take your body out of ketosis. You want to deprive your body of sugar, so it forces your body to burn fat for energy, and that is where alternative sweeteners come in.

Some of the sweeteners that we use would be Stevia, some of them are monk fruit which comes from a natural fruit from Southeast Asia. We also use Organic Erythritol is a natural sweetener found in fruits and fermented foods, derived from fermented corn. It's about 70 percent of sweeter than sugar; but doesn't have any calories to speak of and no impact on blood sugar.

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We work with a lot of different sweeteners but probably the one that I'm most excited about right now is called Keto Sweet Plus, it is a blend of Monk fruit and Stevia, and you can use this just like you would sugar. So, if you're baking and you need something to rise, it will do that. It also engages in fermentation. It also participates in what's called my yard effect! That is the interaction of proteins and fats which creates caramelization. So, when you're barbecuing, and you slather on a bunch of barbecue sauce you'll notice that you get like the hard shell. You know it gets crispier than is actually that is. That is a function of the artifact, and so this particular sweetener works well in baking and condiments, and it's been my go-to sweetener over the past couple years and works well with the, ketogenic diet,

If you head over to www.steviva.com you will find hundreds of recipes, you adopt them as your own. All of them are part of the, ketogenic diet, with low carb recipes.

Guy Gone Keto and the Ketogenic Diet,

Guy Gone Keto I would say it's a guidebook. It is my journal from eating bad foods and being 40 lbs overweight to becoming healthy again. I was carrying 40 pounds of extra weight, getting, brain fog, my blood pressure was 190 over 99 and at that point it's like I need to make a change.

So I just started journaling about it and a year later I had a book, and months after that I had a publisher.

I do have some recipes and meal plans for the, ketogenic diet, but I would say that the premise of the book is more the steps or even the tools that you will need to make a lifestyle change.

I started reading your book and it reminded me of Mel Robbins book the “5 Sec Rule” In the beginning of her book she shares her story of what her life looked like before she found the “5 sec rule” your book Guy Gone Keto, you started off in the same way sharing your story. It makes the readers connect with you more.

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Download to listen to the full interview and hear more details of the, ketogenic diet, and how it helps reverse the Diabesity epidemic.

Transform your mind Podcast iTunes — Download on iTunes

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-loose-weight-without-dieting/

https://www.wholesomeyum.com/low-carb-keto-diet-plan-how-to-start-a-low-carb-diet/

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