Tag Archives: 5 min Fridays with Coach Myrna

From Knowledge to Action: If You Know Better, Do Better

In a world brimming with information and opportunities for growth, the simple yet profound mantra “If you know better, do better” serves as a guiding light on the path to personal development and positive change.

Key Takeaways:

  • Acknowledging that you “know better” requires self-awareness and reflection.
  • Understanding alone is not enough; action is the catalyst for transformation.
  • Embracing a growth mindset and overcoming the fear of failure are essential for progress.

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The Power of Self Awareness

The first step towards personal growth and positive change is self-awareness. Acknowledging that you “know better” requires a heightened sense of awareness, where you recognize areas in your life that can be improved. This self-reflection can encompass personal habits, relationships, or even societal contributions.

Social contributions include social security contributions by employees, employers, and self-employed individuals, and other contributions whose source cannot be determined. They also include actual or imputed contributions to social insurance schemes operated by governments.

For example, smoking is a habit that many people know is detrimental to their health. The knowledge that smoking causes lung cancer is widely available, yet some individuals continue to smoke. This discrepancy between knowledge and action highlights the importance of self-awareness. By recognizing the negative impact of smoking and acknowledging that they “know better,” individuals can take the necessary steps to quit and improve their health.

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Do Better: Breaking the Chains of Inaction

While self awareness is crucial, understanding alone is not enough. Action is the catalyst for transformation. The mantra “If you know better, do better” challenges individuals to break free from the inertia of complacency and take intentional steps towards positive change.

In today's fast-paced world, it is easy to become overwhelmed by information and remain stagnant. However, true growth and progress require action. Merely knowing what needs to be done is not sufficient; one must actively engage in the process of change. As the saying goes, “knowledge is power, if you use it.” It is through action that knowledge is transformed into tangible results. My people perish for lack of knowledge, is no longer true.

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Transform Your Mind Podnews

If you know better, do better: Embracing Growth Mindset

The mantra “If you know better, do better” embodies the essence of a growth mindset. A growth mindset is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. It is a mindset that embraces challenges, persists in the face of obstacles, and sees failure as an opportunity for growth.

In a culture where information is readily available, there is no excuse for feigning ignorance. With the abundance of resources such as books, podcasts, and online courses, individuals have the means to acquire knowledge and learn new skills. By embracing a, growth mindset, and actively seeking out opportunities for growth, individuals can continuously improve themselves and their lives.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Overcoming Fear of Failure

The, fear of failure, often hinders progress. Many individuals, know better, but do not, do better, because they are afraid of failing. However, the mantra “If you know better, do better” invites us to confront this fear and take action.

Failure is not something to be feared but rather embraced as a learning opportunity. Elon Musk once said, “Failure is a learning experience. The only way to learn is by making mistakes.” Each attempt, even if it falls short of the desired outcome, brings valuable lessons and insights. By reframing failure as a stepping stone towards success, individuals can overcome their fear and take the necessary risks to achieve their, personal development goals.

Accountability: Do better if you know better 

Beyond personal growth, the mantra “If you know better, do better” emphasizes accountability. It challenges individuals to take responsibility for their actions and fosters a sense of accountability not only to oneself but also to the wider community and the world.

When individuals recognize that they have the knowledge and ability to make a positive impact, they become accountable for their actions. This accountability extends beyond personal spheres and contributes to the betterment of communities, societies, and the world at large. By taking ownership of their actions and striving to do better, individuals can create a positive legacy for future generations.

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Alitu the podcast maker

Do better: Inspiring Others through affirmative action 

Living by the principle of “If you know better, do better” sets an inspiring example for those around you. Your actions become a beacon, encouraging others to embark on their journeys of positive change and continuous improvement.

When others witness the transformative power of, affirmative action, they are inspired to follow suit. By leading by example and demonstrating the positive outcomes that can be achieved through knowledge and action, individuals can inspire a ripple effect of betterment in their communities and beyond.

The Ripple Effect of Betterment

The cumulative effect of individuals striving to do better creates a ripple effect that extends beyond personal spheres. It contributes to the betterment of communities, societies, and the world at large, creating a positive legacy for future generations.

When individuals embrace the mantra “If you know better, do better,” they become agents of change. Their actions, no matter how small, have the potential to create a ripple effect that inspires others to take action. This collective effort towards positive change can lead to a brighter, more enlightened future for all.

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Habit Grows Out Of Environment — Out Of Doing The Same Thing In The Same Way Repeatedly — Out Of Thinking The Same Thoughts Over And Over — And When Once Formed It Resembles Cement Which Has Sent In The Molds And Is Hard To Break.”

In Conclusion

In the tapestry of personal growth, the mantra “If you know better, do better” weaves a thread of wisdom and action. It calls us to move beyond passive awareness and embrace the transformative power of intentional, positive change. As we navigate the complexities of life, may this mantra guide our decisions, inspire our actions, and lead us toward a brighter, more enlightened future.

Additional Resources 

Mind Power: The Amazing Power of Your Mind

Setting Goals In Clock Time vs Psychological Time

Setting goals, in, clock time, means we are not emotionally attached to them. We are able to enjoy the journey and not just the destination.  But when you, set goals, in,  psychological time, you are never fulfilled when you achieve them.  You have heard of people who, set goals, and when they attain these goals, they are only happy for a brief moment and then they are unfulfilled again. That is because they are psychologically attached to the goal. The subconscious mind is telling them that until this goal is achieved, happiness is not possible. Or until this goal is achieved, they are not successful.

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Setting goals in psychological time

Let’s say owning a house on the beach is your symbol of success and you tell yourself that until you live on the beach in a beautiful mansion, you cannot feel fulfilled or feel successful. This means that you are not going to enjoy the journey.  You are psychologically tied to living on the beach as your means to the end.

Or let’s take the goal of being married. Most women have this goal.

Marriage could be a symbol of acceptance that you are enough, because someone says you complete them, or they can’t live without you etc. Marriage could symbolize the success you dreamed of as a little girl.

But what happens when you achieve this goal? Does it create lasting happiness? The divorce rate is 50% or higher. Nothing wrong with that goal but do you stop living until you get married.  Are you enjoying all the perks of being single?

Does achieving any goal fulfill you forever? You know the answer to the question.

No it does not.

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Setting goals in clock time

That is because goals set using, psychological time, says that until this event happens, you will not be happy or successful or fulfilled.  When you achieve these goals, you are happy for a few days and then you are not.

Goals set with, psychological time, never fulfills because the goal post is always moving.

It is okay to set goals, but you must enjoy the present moment.

You must enjoy where you are now.

If you ask yourself what is lacking now, the answer should always be nothing.

Goal setting, in,  clock time, says If success comes, I will accept it, but if it doesn’t, I am okay with that too.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

That is why we can’t tell ourselves that until something happens in life then we will be happy, fulfilled, complete etc. because not only can you die waiting for this goal to manifest, but if you achieve this goal, you will still not be complete or happy. Why because you have to take care of the inside before things on the outside.

When you take care of your inside, joy is always your partner. You are happy with or without.  You are happy for the breath of life.  If you add success to this you will find fulfillment.

Additional Resources

How To Conquer The 5 Most Common Causes of Failure

212 Degrees: The Extra One Degree of Effort

At 211 degrees, water is hot. At 212 degrees it boils and turns to steam. That steam can power a train. The extra, one degree of effort is all it takes to go from water to steam.  Are you living your life on cruise control? If so, you will always be mediocre and always missing the podium. So, I want to share with you what happens between, 211 degrees, and just one extra degree at, 212 degrees.

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Water boils at 212 degrees

Below 32 degrees, water is solid.

Above 32, water is liquid.

At 211 degrees, water is hot.

At, 212 degrees, water boils, it turns to steam, and steam can power a train. One extra, degree, can change the state of water. One extra, degree of effort, can be the thing that takes you to the next level. One extra, degree of effort, in sports and life, can separate the good from the great. One extra, degree of effort, can change your life.

Here are some examples of that one degree of effort.
  • Olympic – Men’s Giant Slalom 0.17 seconds was the margin of victory that means that the winner gave that extra, degree of effort, to win by 0.17 seconds.
  • Olympic men’s 800-meter 0.05 seconds margin of victory. That means a push at the finish line. 0.05 seconds is a neck!

By giving that one extra, degree of effort, moved them from hot to steaming, these champions achieved results beyond their wildest expectations.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Podvine

Getting to 212 degrees daily

You can get to, 212 degrees, daily. The extra, degree of effort, is something we can all apply ..every day.

This is your life you are responsible for the results.

Those results that can take you beyond your wildest dreams.

So, if you want to win, then it is time to turn up the heat.

Nobody wants a Luke warm person.

Are you Lukewarm in your affections?

Lukewarm in your efforts?

If you are not feeling the heat, you are not pushing hard enough.

Have you ever tried to build muscle? How do you build muscle? You build muscle by giving that extra degree of effort to feel the burn.  When you feel the burn, we always want to stop, but you have to do one more repetition, you have to feel the pain that extra degree of effort to get to 212 degrees!!

Arnold Schwarzenegger said he used to work his arms until they hung limp at his sides shaking.

Do you think he was lukewarm in his training? No, the 6-time Mr. Olympia had steam coming from his nostrils!

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Here are 3 ways to turn up the heat to get you to 212 degrees:

Consider the ABC's of change:

Attitude: Everything starts with your attitude. When you turn up the heat, water starts the process of turning into steam. A small change in your, attitude, can have a positive impact on your behavior. When you have a positive, growth mindset, gritty attitude, your behavior improves. When you believe you can do something, you attack it with more force. Approach everything with the right attitude. You have to believe you can win. Water knows it can turn to steam.

Behavior: Growth and improvement happen in small, consistent acts over time. Show me your habits and show me how you are acting and behaving and I will show you how you will perform. Water changes when its temperature changes. We perform better when we make positive changes in our behavior and have better habits.

Consistency: You can't do something just once and expect to see change. When water gets to, 212 degrees, it starts to steam, but if you remove it from the heat then drops back down to, 211 degrees, it will return back to just water at 32 degrees. If you can't stay consistent, you will fall back to who you were, lukewarm.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Additional Resources

Motivate Yourself with The Power of Positive Thinking

 

Why God Loves Gratitude

Gratitude, is at the top of the, positive emotions, list and is an energy that attracts goodness into your life. Jesus, said, gratitude, can also make you, whole.

Welcome back to the transform your mind to transform your life the podcast. You are listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. Today I want to teach on the topic Why God loves Appreciative people.  I want to use as my foundation scripture Luke 17:15 to 18

One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him.

Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you whole.

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Why you should express gratitude

My Pastor Apostle Glover preached this message a few weeks back and it brought to my awareness that I have a good life because I came back to say thanks to God.

Just to be sure I knelt at the alter and gave God thanks for every blessing in my life.

I am big on, gratitude, my parents taught me to say thanks for everything I received. I never complete an email without thanking the person who sent it.

I have had personal relationships with people who were never appreciative of what others did for them and because of that never experienced life’s abundance and always struggled. They were never, grateful.

The 10 lepers healed by Jesus

Jesus said to the one leper, who returned that his, gratitude, or faith made him, whole. Why is, gratitude, so important to God?

Gratitude, is at the top of the, positive emotions, list and is an energy that attracts goodness into your life. Jesus, said, gratitude, can also make you, whole.

10 Common Positive Emotions 
  • Joy.
  • Gratitude.
  • Pride.
  • Serenity.
  • Interest.
  • Amusement.
  • Hope.
  • Awe.
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Podbay FM

What is the Definition of wholeness?

To be, whole, means that your insides match your outside. In other words if you feel peace and joy on the inside, life will present you peaceful experiences on the outside.

On the other hand, if everything in your world is chaotic then you know that you have no internal peace.

Wholeness is the state of being perfectly well in body, soul (mind, will and emotions) and spirit.

God expects us to give thanks for our blessings or we will not be well in body soul and spirit. That why God loves appreciative people.

How many times you have heard people say that they had huge financial success, but no peace or happiness on the inside? They did not feel fulfilled. That’s because there were not, whole. Maybe they are one of the ones who never came back to thank the Lord for blessing them with abundance and overflow. Only, gratitude, makes you whole.

When you live in, gratitude, God promises to pour our blessings you don’t have room to receive.

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curiocaster podcast

Express gratitude to the people who helped you

Don’t be like the nine, lepers, who were so happy to be healed that they forgot to come back and thank the person who healed them.  Remember to thank the people who helped you along the way. Not just your parents, but teachers, friends who were there for you in your time of need, supervisors who trained you or didn’t fire you when you messed up and of course your team. The people who help you succeed.

When you, give thanks, that energy seeps into all areas of your life creating, wholeness.

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RadioPublic Transform your mind
Practicing gratitude can:
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Improve immune function
  • Enable quicker recovery from illness
  • Allow one to enjoy more robust physical health
  • Promote happiness and well-being
  • Reduce lifetime risk for depression, anxiety, and substance abuse disorders
  • Help with coping more effectively with everyday stress
  • Show increased resilience in the face of trauma-induced stress
  • Help protect from the destructive impulses of envy, resentment, greed, and bitterness

https://youtu.be/q84cfJW_FP0

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I hope you were inspired to always give thanks and be, grateful, because God loves appreciative people. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources 

Look At The Heart Not Outward Appearance

How To Bloom In the Desert

The, desert, is a harsh, dry place sometimes called the, wilderness, and most of us have to go through it to get to our promised land.  In this episode of, 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I teach you how to, bloom, in the, desert.

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You have to go through the desert

There is no, promised land, if you don’t go through the, wilderness. You have to go through the, desert, to get to your, promised land.

You can’t drive by in your air conditioned vehicle. You have to spend some time in the, wilderness, and learn how to bloom in the dry harsh conditions.

You have to go through something to get to something

There is no, promised land, if you don’t go through the, wilderness. You have to go through something to get to your, promised land.

In the Bible, the term “Promised Land” refers to a specific region of land that God endowed to His chosen people, as part of their heritage. (Genesis 12Genesis 26:3Genesis 28:13) God first gave this pledge of land to Abraham saying, “I will establish your borders from the Red Sea to the Mediterranean Sea, and from the desert to the Euphrates River.” He then reiterated the vow to Abraham’s descendants until the time came for His people to claim their inheritance.

The people of Israel wandered in the, wilderness, for 40 years before they were ready to inherit the promise.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Podvine

You have to spend time in the wilderness, you can't drive through

You have to spend some time in the, wilderness. You can’t pass through in your air conditioned vehicle. You have to spend some time in the, wilderness. The, wilderness, is your in between place. You have to spend time there, but God does not intend for you to stay there. God did not intend for you or the people of Israel to die in the, wilderness.

If you die in the, wilderness, then you were never supposed to inherit, the promised land.

God promises to make a way out of no way, but in order for you to understand that promise you have to find yourself in a situation with no way out.

The pandemic was a, desert place, over a million people died. We couldn’t drink from our church, our family, our jobs, all the places we drank from was closed off to us.

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God sends help in the desert

The profit Elijah found himself in the, desert, and God sent him to a brook where the ravens fed him. Find your brook.  What is feeding you in your, desert place?

God says that no weapons formed against you shall prosper, he did not say the weapons will not be formed. You have to hold on and find the strength to fight the enemy and the weapons formed against you.

Sometimes you have to spend some time in the, desert place, in the place of loneliness, in the darkness of the night. The promise that joy comes in the morning is your scripture of your, promised land. Find your brook and hold on to the promise.

Even if you are in a fruitful place on the mountain top, if you keep walking, you will have to pass through the, desert! Life is made up of hills and valleys.

RadioPublic Transform your mind
RadioPublic Transform your mind

Your experience in the wilderness allows you to bloom

If you look back on your life you grew most in your, desert place.

What can cause a desert to blossom into a rose? Roses need water. They don’t do well with intense heat from sun blazing all day. It has no shade.

Is there anyone reading this who has blossomed while living in a concrete jungle?  Who has blossomed living with abusive parents?  Who has blossomed in the desert place of extreme property? Read Viola Davis story and it will give you hope that you could be the rose that, blooms in the, wilderness.

The purpose of the, desert, is to teach you how to walk with the giver of living waters, The Holy Spirit.

Additional Resources

Your Struggle is Part of Your Story

How to Nurture Your Seeds into a Tree

We are born with invisible, seeds of greatness, inside of us, that we need to nurture in a, tree. endowed with a combination of unique gifts, strengths, and talents. Some of us are born into less-than-ideal circumstances, and some of us are born into a more privileged life. Regardless of economic realities, or the environment we were born into, each of us has the ability to nurture our, seeds of greatness, as our own unique, seeds. It doesn’t matter where you start out only where you end up.

In order for your, seeds of greatness, to become a harvest, you must consistently tend to them. If you neglect the God-given, seeds, you were born with, they will eventually die because the, weeds of neglect,  will kill them.

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Sadhguru teaches we have to protect our seeds

Sadhguru says that all of us have come into this world with the same, seeds, but for this, seed, to become a, tree, between a, seed, and the, tree, there is a journey to be made. If you want the, seed, to become a, tree, you have to nurture the, seed, and you have to protect it from the, weeds, of automatic negative thoughts.

The same, weeds, have been bothering humanity for a million years, still human beings haven't figured out how to handle these, weeds. Weeds of life, like anger, hatred, jealousy, fear, endless doubt. These, weeds, have lasted so long, because, weeds, don't need any care, they sprout up because we don’t cultivate the, garden of our minds. Weeds, don't need any protection, weeds, don't need any cultivation, they just grow without any help from you; but if you want a, sacred seed, to sprout and prosper, you have to pull up the, weeds, you have to cultivate the land which is your mind.

Transform Your Mind podcast curiocaster podcast
curiocaster podcast

Your seeds need water and sunlight to turn into a tree

You have to make sure enough water and sunlight finds its way to the, seed. How do you do that? Let’s say you were born with the talent of singing, you have to nurture your vocal cords, you have to protect your voice, you have to practice singing daily until you can sign like an opera star. What are the, weeds, that could snuff out your talent? Like Sadhguru says doubt.  Maybe jealousy of someone who is better that you because they are giving their talent the sunlight it needs and you are in the corner doubting yourself and being jealous of them.

Are you surrounded by thorns that are choking out what your heart desires and what you were put on this earth to do, or are you planting your, seeds, in fertile soil where your dreams can flourish?

What, seeds of greatness, do you have to plant and nurture into a, tree? Does your mind provide the fertile soil where your dreams can take root?

How do you nurture your, seed, into a, tree? You prepare the soil of your mind and make sure it is fertile and conducive to the growth of your, seed.

Additional Resources

Universal Law of the Harvest: Are you Eating Your Seed?

 

Jim Rohn on How to Improve Yourself

In the episode of 5 Min Fridays with Coach Myrna, I share 4 secrets to improving yourself as taught by Jim Rohn. Every book you read, every podcast you listen to, every seminar you attend, starts changing your philosophy.  Now if you're excited, and you're ready to change your lifestyle and improve yourself, here are the steps to improve yourself.  Improving yourself will one day show up in your bank account and in your lifestyle.

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How to Improve Yourself by Jim Rohn

You don't have to change what's outside, all you got to change is what's inside.  To have more you simply have to become more.  Don't wish it was easier wish, you were better.  Don't wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Start working on improving yourself by making these personal changes and it'll all change for you.

Jim Rohn, says here's the secret, learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. Once I got that it turned my life around. He said if you work hard on your job, you'll make a living. If you work hard on yourself, you can make a fortune. He said If you would have known me at age 25 you would have said, Jim Rohn's, a hard worker you didn't know me you would have said that. I'm the guy that don’t mind coming in a little bit early, and staying a little bit late. But If you'll start working harder on yourself than you do on your job, work hard on yourself and develop the skills, work hard on yourself and develop the graces all of the stuff necessary to become more valuable to the marketplace. Your whole life can explode into change.

When you improve yourself Life is no problem

  • Promotions – no problem
  • Becoming more valuable to the company – no problem
  • Money – no problem
  • Economics – no problem
  • Future – no problem.

You just go to work on the right thing. Don't try to change the seed, don't change the soil, don't change the sunshine, don't change the rain, don't change the mix of seasons.

Let the miracle of everything that's available work for you and start working on the inside.

  • Work on your philosophy.
  • Work on your attitude.
  • Work on your personality,
  • Work on your language,
  • Work on the gift of communication,
  • Work on all of your abilities.

If you'll start making those personal changes, I'm telling you, everything will change for you.

Success is not something you pursue

Success, is something you attract by the person you become. Success, is not something you pursue. So, the whole key to unlock all the treasures, whether it's economic treasures or spiritual treasures, financial, social personal every way you can possibly think of is by your own, personal development.

Then he added one more which is so important, and it's probably worth its weight in gold. Here it is. What you become is much more valuable than who you are today.  You become by the books you read, you become by the thoughts you have. If you want the things on the higher shelf, you got to stand on the books you read. Every book you read; you get to stand a little higher, so you can get the things on the higher shelf.

Every book you read, every podcast you listen to, every seminar you attend, starts changing your philosophy.  Now if you're excited, and you're ready to change your lifestyle and, improve yourself.

Here's the steps to improve yourself:

  1. Find out how things work. The first key to doing better and improving yourself is find out how things work.
  2. Then you need, ideas. The books you read can give you, ideas. Become a good reader. All of the successful people I know, they're all good readers. Curiosity drives them to read. You need, ideas, on a new business, you need ideas to start something new. You may think you need, money; no the problem is lack of,  ideas on creating wealth. It isn't lack of, money. It's a, lack of ideas. So, if you get the idea so you can change anything. When you find out something that works, put the information in your journal. Don't use your head for a filing cabinet. Put it in your journal so that you can do the next best thing, Repetition, repetition, go over it. And if you repeat it, go over it. Sure enough, someday, some mysterious day. The idea takes root and shows up in your bank account and your lifestyle.
  3. Study success, it leaves clues. If you wish to be successful, study success. If you wish to be happy study happiness. If you wish to be wealthy study wealth, don't leave it to chance. Make it a study. Some people just go through the day with their fingers crossed. You've got to study the things that can change your economic, social, spiritual personal life.
  4. Finally, learn, study, grow, change. It's what, how to improve yourself, is all about. Human development, takes time, incredible amounts of time. It does take time for personal development, it does take time for, spiritual development, physical development and, mental development. So, it is important to keep feeding the mind, nourishing the mind.

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of, 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I hoped you were encouraged to keep improving yourself daily by reading and looking for new ideas because whenever you seek, you will find.

Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources 

 

Ten Ways Women Jump Into The Wrong Relationships

Today I want to give some, relationship advice, and teach on the topic Ten ways women jump into the wrong, relationships.

I have heard it said that, women are responders, and it is true.  Men know this and that is why they court us.  And sometimes we find ourselves in relationships just because we were courted.  eHarmony says that both men and women can fake us out for 2 years before we see who they truly are.

So today I want to share about some of the ways we as women jump into the wrong relationships.

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Relationship advice: Don't ignore the warning signs

  1. We as women ignore the, warning signs; we ignore the internal alarms and move ahead into a love fantasy. Thinking we are the one that can make him change. Case in point, a man hollers at you and he is living with a woman or he is married. He tells you that he is only there for some reason and that he no longer loves his wife. He promises to leave in a certain amount of time.  99% of the time men never leave, but let’s say he will and string you along sometimes for years.  Don't ignore the, warning signs. Let me give you some, relationship advice, If he hasn't left before he met you, he ain't going leave.
  2. Some women feel that it is a dog eat dog would out there and that good men are hard to find. Because we fear being alone, we accept the first person who comes along, only to be left beaten, ripped off and sometimes even impregnated. Here is some, relationship advice, never go into, relationships, as a needy person. Men can smell your need, It’s like giving beef to a blood hound. Its not going to end well for you.
  3. Another reason women jump into the wrong, relationships, is we confuse friendship for romantic love. Love is about chemistry; friendship is a bonus in a love relationship, but friendship without love is a roommate arrangement.
Podbay FM Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podbay FM

Some relationships should stay as friends

  1. As women we have a hard time saying No, so sometimes when you just want to be friends we get caught up in intimate, relationships, and have no chemistry with our partner. Some, relationships, should stay as friends but we have a hard time saying no, I just want to be friends.  Next thing you know he is asking to move in and you say yes or even marry him and you know that you are not in love.
  2. You get caught up in packaging and promises. We all like the playboys. They look good, they know how to make you feel like a woman, but you are just a plaything for them. You fall in love and they just like you. They have no intention of taking the, relationship, to the next level while you are shopping for wedding dresses.
Transform Your Mind podcast curiocaster podcast
curiocaster podcast

Relationship advice: never issue an ultimatum

  1. You demand a commitment or issue an ultimatum and the man goes along with it because it suits his purpose at the time. But how many of you know you can’t force love it is either there or it is not so he goes along with it until he finds something better. You become his in the meantime woman.
  2. As I mentioned earlier, women are responders, so men dole out gifts and charm and we respond to the treatment without exploring if this, relationship, is right for us. But how many of you know that people can only play roles for a short time. Sooner or later usually after the man gets what he wants they move on to the next victim.
  3. You allow blind faith, which leads to blind love, to take you into a relationship that is unhealthy. A lot of Christian women would stay in unhealthy relationships praying to God to fix the other person, but if God didn’t send the man, he is not going to fix him.
RadioPublic Transform your mind
RadioPublic Transform your mind

Love and sex are not the same thing

  1. Sexual compatibility, is mistaken for love. It took me a while to understand that sex and love are two different things. Women are emotional creatures and usually fall in love with their, sexual partners, men on the other hand are very good at compartmentalization. They are able to separated good sex from love.
  2. Breaking up is hard to do. Women stay in, relationships, even though they are miserable trying to work things out even though most times the men have already moved on emotionally. I have learned personally men leave emotionally long before they leave physically.

Additional Resources 

How to Find your Soulmate

Coach Myrna: How to Be Single

Single means not married. If you have a boyfriend, you are single. If you are engaged, you are single. If you live with a guy, you are single.

So, what is the right way to be single?

Should you go to clubs and pick up guys for one-night stands? Should you play the algorithms from dating sites? Should you get a rule book and play the rules?
In this episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I share what you should do while prepare yourself for love.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11609109-coach-myrna-how-to-be-single.mp3?download=true

Movie: How to be single

I just finished watching the movie, How to be Single. The movie showcases three, single ladies.  One woman using algorithms to select her perfect mate from 10 dating sites. Her goal was to find a mate and get married 18 months after meeting her man.

The second woman chose to sleep with strange men and have no meaningful connection with any of these men. To her sex was just a bodily function like peeing.

The 3rd woman didn’t want to be, single, so she slept with men hoping it would lead to something, but the timing was always wrong. She kept meeting men who were emotionally unavailable or wanted to play the one-night stand game. In the end she decided that it was great being alone and doing her own thing. She even either purchased or made her own contraption to pull down her zipper!

Podbay FM Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podbay FM

Single ladies are looking but not finding single men

I am sure most of the women listening to this podcast are not married, because it seems to be the culture. Everybody is looking but nobody is finding.

Also, it may seem condescending but let me share the definition of, single. Single, means not married. If you have a boyfriend, you are, single. If you are engaged, you are, single. If you live with a guy, you are, single.

So, what is the right way to be single?

Should you go to clubs and pick up guys for one-night stands? Absolutely not. I don’t know who started that trend. Probably the same person who made up the name whore. Sex should be a very personal and intimate experience. Everybody you have sex with leaves a part of themselves behind. Hollywood needs to stop promoting promiscuity. It is definitely not the way to be, single.

Goodpods podcast

Single Ladies Throw out the rule book

Should, single ladies, have rules like Steve Harvey's 90-day rule?  In the movie “Think Like a Man” one, single, woman decided that her cookie did not come out of the cookie jar until after 90 days.  So, she told her date this number and he was game to wait it out because now her cookie was something he wanted. Something interesting happened along the way. He started to like her and called her his girlfriend.

That was exactly why, Steve Harvey, gave this advice. The longer you wait to have sex, the man has time to get to know you as a girlfriend.  I interviewed a relationship coach on the show the episode was called “What do men want” he says that as soon as you sleep with a man his emotional connection stops growing. So, the longer you keep sex off the table, the more his feelings for you grows.

Some, single ladies, subscribe to the theory that sex before marriage ruins a marriage. We can always find the extremes. The trick to being, single, is to find out what works for you. If you want the, girlfriend experience,  I suggest you get to know the man before you introduce sex in the relationship.

Transform Your Mind podcast curiocaster podcast
curiocaster podcast

How to be Single

I believe this is, how to be single:

  • Enjoy your own company by learning how to be alone without being lonely.
  • Getting to know yourself, your real likes and dislikes, what makes you happy. When there is no one around to please, you please yourself, you do more self-care. You go to the gym, not to meet men, but to improve yourself.
  • Prepare yourself so you will be ready when your soul mate shows up.

You are in the meantime space.

Tune in next week as we talk about what to do while you are waiting for love.

Conclusion

This is life coach Myrna Young, and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. Thanks for listening. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources 

How to Find your Soulmate

 

Your Focus Determines Your Actions

Are you aware of your, emotional home?  It is what you, focus, on when the going gets tough, determines your, actions. Your, emotional home, is the emotion you return to when life events happen, good or bad. For example, have you ever been fired? What did you, focus, on?

What was your, emotional response? Did you, focus, on fear that you will be homeless?  Was it hope that you will find a better job, or did you, focus, on gratitude, that now you can do what you really love. Science shows that our, emotions, have a home and we always go home.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10921352-your-focus-on-determines-your-actions.mp3?download=true

 

Tony Robbins, tells the story often about one Thanksgiving when he was 11 years old, his step father had just lost his job and they were eating saltine crackers and butter for dinner when there was a knock at the door and a man was there with a basket of food and a Turkey.

His father was not grateful for the food. He told the man at the door. We don’t accept charity and tried to shut the door in the man’s face. The man put his foot in the door and responded it was not charity and he was just the delivery man.

His father took the food without saying thanks and slammed the door in the man’s face.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

What you Focus on  is your emotional home

The meaning you give life events determines the, actions, you take.

Tony’s father chose to, focus,  on the fact that he could not provide for his family and that is why someone had to send them food.

The meaning he attached to this, focus, was that was he was a failure.

His, actions, were to leave his family.

Tony on the other hand chose to, focus,` on the fact that they had food, his emotion was, gratitude.

The meaning he gave it was that strangers cared.

The action he did was to pay it forward and at 17 years old started his organization, Feeding America.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

What actions did you take when you felt pain

Many of you listening had events that happened in your childhood that shaped who you became as an adult and formed your, emotional home.

We’re you sexually molested as a child?

We’re you bullied in school because you wore hand me downs and your shoes had holes in them?

Did your parents favor your siblings?

In every one of those scenarios, you focused on the situation.

You probably give it the meaning that you were worthless or unlovable.

What, actions, did you take?

Did you become sexually promiscuous?

Did you sleep with boys or men to get money to buy stuff?

Did you hate your parents or siblings?

The, emotions, that came from the meaning affect our, actions, and are the, emotions, you return to when you are hurt.

Let me help you change the narrative – you have to deliberately draw a line in the sand and change it.  It takes work to, rewrite your story.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

STEPS TO REWRITE YOUR STORY

  1. Examine your habits
    Instead of focusing on what you want to change, turn your attention to the bad habit or habits that lead to you wanting to learn how to change yourself. Are your sugar cravings at 10 PM what lead to you being overweight? Is your habit of sleeping in and arriving at work late getting in the way of your promotion? Once you’ve identified the, negative habits, you can create better ones that will help you, rewrite your story, such as utilizing delayed gratification.
  2. Practice every day
    Once you know what your new, healthy habits, are, practice them every single day – no matter what. Have a backup plan in case circumstances get in the way of your new habits and don’t allow yourself to cut corners.
  3. Focus on self-reflection
    One of the habits that lead you to wanting to learn how to change your life around was not facing reality. You need to, focus, on realistic self-reflection throughout your journey and, when needed, ask those you trust for their perspective. Are you improving? If not, what else needs to change?
  4. Surround yourself with good people
    When you spend quality time with good people who love you, you develop a natural support system for your new habits and you are able to, rewrite your story, in a nurturing environment.
  5. Keep taking risks
    If you want to learn how to change your life, you cannot stay in your comfort zone. You need to take risks until you get comfortable with those risks – then take more. The more you push yourself, the easier it will become to rewrite your story and transform your life.

Conclusion

Can you use your story to help others?

If you take control of your mind and, focus, on making better decisions, sometimes the worst experiences in life turn out to be your best teachers and your, testimony.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of, 5 min Fridays, I hope you were inspired to become aware of your emotional home and if is not a positive emotion, change it. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources 

How to become Limitless: Emotional Intelligence Leadership