Your Focus Determines Your Actions

Your focus determine your actions

Are you aware of your, emotional home?  It is what you, focus, on when the going gets tough, determines your, actions. Your, emotional home, is the emotion you return to when life events happen, good or bad. For example, have you ever been fired? What did you, focus, on?

What was your, emotional response? Did you, focus, on fear that you will be homeless?  Was it hope that you will find a better job, or did you, focus, on gratitude, that now you can do what you really love. Science shows that our, emotions, have a home and we always go home.

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Tony Robbins, tells the story often about one Thanksgiving when he was 11 years old, his step father had just lost his job and they were eating saltine crackers and butter for dinner when there was a knock at the door and a man was there with a basket of food and a Turkey.

His father was not grateful for the food. He told the man at the door. We don’t accept charity and tried to shut the door in the man’s face. The man put his foot in the door and responded it was not charity and he was just the delivery man.

His father took the food without saying thanks and slammed the door in the man’s face.

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What you Focus on  is your emotional home

The meaning you give life events determines the, actions, you take.

Tony’s father chose to, focus,  on the fact that he could not provide for his family and that is why someone had to send them food.

The meaning he attached to this, focus, was that was he was a failure.

His, actions, were to leave his family.

Tony on the other hand chose to, focus,` on the fact that they had food, his emotion was, gratitude.

The meaning he gave it was that strangers cared.

The action he did was to pay it forward and at 17 years old started his organization, Feeding America.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

What actions did you take when you felt pain

Many of you listening had events that happened in your childhood that shaped who you became as an adult and formed your, emotional home.

We’re you sexually molested as a child?

We’re you bullied in school because you wore hand me downs and your shoes had holes in them?

Did your parents favor your siblings?

In every one of those scenarios, you focused on the situation.

You probably give it the meaning that you were worthless or unlovable.

What, actions, did you take?

Did you become sexually promiscuous?

Did you sleep with boys or men to get money to buy stuff?

Did you hate your parents or siblings?

The, emotions, that came from the meaning affect our, actions, and are the, emotions, you return to when you are hurt.

Let me help you change the narrative – you have to deliberately draw a line in the sand and change it.  It takes work to, rewrite your story.

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STEPS TO REWRITE YOUR STORY

  1. Examine your habits
    Instead of focusing on what you want to change, turn your attention to the bad habit or habits that lead to you wanting to learn how to change yourself. Are your sugar cravings at 10 PM what lead to you being overweight? Is your habit of sleeping in and arriving at work late getting in the way of your promotion? Once you’ve identified the, negative habits, you can create better ones that will help you, rewrite your story, such as utilizing delayed gratification.
  2. Practice every day
    Once you know what your new, healthy habits, are, practice them every single day – no matter what. Have a backup plan in case circumstances get in the way of your new habits and don’t allow yourself to cut corners.
  3. Focus on self-reflection
    One of the habits that lead you to wanting to learn how to change your life around was not facing reality. You need to, focus, on realistic self-reflection throughout your journey and, when needed, ask those you trust for their perspective. Are you improving? If not, what else needs to change?
  4. Surround yourself with good people
    When you spend quality time with good people who love you, you develop a natural support system for your new habits and you are able to, rewrite your story, in a nurturing environment.
  5. Keep taking risks
    If you want to learn how to change your life, you cannot stay in your comfort zone. You need to take risks until you get comfortable with those risks – then take more. The more you push yourself, the easier it will become to rewrite your story and transform your life.

Conclusion

Can you use your story to help others?

If you take control of your mind and, focus, on making better decisions, sometimes the worst experiences in life turn out to be your best teachers and your, testimony.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of, 5 min Fridays, I hope you were inspired to become aware of your emotional home and if is not a positive emotion, change it. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources 

How to become Limitless: Emotional Intelligence Leadership

Saying Yes To Your Demons

saying yes to your demons

Saying yes to your, demons, is how you get rid of them.  Demons, feed on, negative energy, and, conflict.  So just accept them and tell yourself if you ignore them they will go away.

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The monk who gathered demons

There is an ancient story of a, monk, who leaves his cave to gather firewood and when he comes back, he finds his cave filled with, demons. They had taken over the joint. His first thought is I got to get rid of these guys, so he tries pushing them out, fighting them, lunging at them but the, demons, were unphased.

The more he tried to get rid of them, the more they settled in.

His next approach was to teach them the, dharma, and make them leave on their own.

He teaches them about, impermanence, nonphysical and physical, compassion etc. but they just stared at him with wide eyes understanding nothing.

He realized that these, demons, could not be manipulated to leave so he resigned himself and decided to find out what they were there to teach him. As soon as he accepted these, demons, most of them bow and dissolve except one.

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RadioPublic Transform your mind

One demon always stick around

There is always one fierce, demon, that sticks around that is difficult to get rid of. So, he walks up to this, demon, and said “you win, just eat me” and he sticks his head in its mouth and that, demon, dissolves also. The moral of the story.

The, demons, leave when you stop fighting and say yes.

How many of you can relate to this story? You are, conflict, with your spouse, your boss or best friend. You are trying to convince them of your point of view but the more you try to debate the issue the more they settle in on their point of view.

So, finally you say to yourself I give up you win and the second head on your spouse vanishes!

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Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

Teaching Dharma to the demons

The, monk, even tried to teach the, demons, the, Dharma, and about, impermanence, because they felt they were still alive.

Buddha, had three essential teachings called the, Dharma Seals. These three teachings of the, Buddha, are:

  • Impermanence,
  • no self and
  • nirvana.

For instance, our body is visibly impermanent and getting older every day, and yet this is something we don’t want to accept. Certain popular magazines that cater to youth and beauty exploit this attitude. In terms of view, meditation and action, their readers might have a view — thinking in terms of not aging or escaping the aging process somehow. They contemplate this view of permanence, and their consequent action is to go to fitness centers and undergo plastic surgery and all sorts of other hassles.

Enlightened beings would think that this is ridiculous and based on a wrong view. Regarding these different aspects of, impermanence, getting old and dying, the changing of the weather, etc., Buddhists, have a single statement, namely this first seal: phenomena are impermanent because they are compounded. Anything that is assembled will, sooner or later, come apart.

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Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

Nirvana, is a place of perfect peace and happiness, like heaven. In Hinduism and, Buddhism, nirvana is the highest state that someone can attain, a state of enlightenment, meaning a person’s individual desires and suffering go away.

Just as all-important legal documents have the mark or signature of a witness, all genuine practices of the, Buddha, bear the mark of these three teachings.

Teaching impermanence to demons

If we look into the first, Dharma Seal, impermanence, we see that it doesn’t just mean that everything changes. By looking into the nature of things, we can see that nothing remains the same for even two consecutive moments. Because nothing remains unchanged from moment to moment it therefore has no fixed identity or a permanent self.

So in the teaching of, impermanence, we always see the lack of an unchanging self. We call this “no self,” the second Dharma Seal. It is because things are always transforming and have, no self, that freedom is possible.

When you are fighting, demons, it is easy to say “I give up, eat me” because they feed on the energy of, conflict, fear, and, negative thoughts, just remember another ancient saying “this too shall pass” the, demons, only stay if you fight them.

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Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

Demons are here to teach us something

What can our, demons, teach us? Every, conflict, is here to teach us something.

If you are in a relationship and someone is always pushing your buttons, then that is an opportunity for growth. This, demon, is here to teach you to have an, internal locus of control. When you have peace inside, no one can deliberately push your buttons. You will find that the, demon, dissipates when  you don’t react or respond. It is no fun trying to steal your peace if you don’t lose your peace. Practice not reacting to the, demon, just say yes and they will leave you alone.

Say This too shall pass, everything is impermanent.

Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Additional Resources

Are You Trapped By Your Past?

If life Gives You Lemons Make Other Plans

coach Myrna If Life gives you lemons make other plans

You have all heard of the expression “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” It is a proverbial phrase that is used to encourage people to stay optimistic and to keep fighting in the face of adversity or misfortune. Lemons, suggests sourness and difficulty in life; making, lemonade, with, lemons, that is being handed out to you turns the whole sour episode into something sweet, positive, and desirable.

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Here is a story to illustrate How to Make lemonade out of lemons

When the British colonized India, they built a golf course in Calcutta, and they had a problem with the, monkeys. The, monkeys, would pick up the balls the golfers hit and put it somewhere else.

  • They tried to solve the problem by building a fence around the course, but, monkeys, climb, so that didn’t work.
  • They tried to lure the, monkeys, away with bananas, but then some were lured away, and others weren’t. Plus, all the, monkeys, for miles around would show up to feed on their favorite food, so that didn’t work either.
  • Finally, they changed the rules and had the golfers play the ball from wherever the, monkeys, dropped it. If life gives you lemons, make other plans.
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

This is a strange story to depict the mantra “if life gives you lemons,  make, lemonade, or other plans.” We don’t always get sugar and spice and everything that is nice, most of the time, things don’t work out the way we planned.

Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast
Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

We make plans but God makes other plans

One of my favorite shows was Private Practice.  Addison made a statement on the show that says

“We make plans but God, make other plans, he has the last word”

Your desire to have a baby could be so strong that you pray every day, you dream of your child every day, you think of your life with your baby every day, but it’s been 5 years and you are not pregnant. The doctors say you are infertile. Time to play the ball where the, monkeys, dropped it and make, lemonade, out of your, lemons. Make other plans, adopt a child, foster a child, look for a surrogate mother or start fertility treatments.

Another way to use the proverb, if life give you lemons, make, lemonade, is to practice the, law of detachment. This law states that in order to manifest our desires, we must release attachment to the outcome itself as well as the path we might take to get there, that you should only be attached to your end goal not the journey.

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Transform Your Mind Podcastland

You can put the law of detachment to work with these steps:

1. Today I will commit myself to, detachment. I will allow myself and those around me the freedom to be as they are. I will not rigidly impose my idea of how things should be. I will not force solutions on problems, thereby creating new problems. I will participate in everything with detached involvement.

2. Today I will factor in uncertainty as an essential ingredient of my experience. In my willingness to accept uncertainty, solutions will spontaneously emerge out of the problem, out of the confusion, disorder, and chaos.  I will understand that, if life gives me lemons, I will make other plans. The more uncertain things seem to be, the more secure I will feel, because uncertainty is my path to freedom. Through the wisdom of uncertainty, I will find my security.

3. I will step into the field of all possibilities and anticipate the excitement that can occur when I remain open to an infinity of choices. When I step into the field of all possibilities, I will experience all the fun, adventure, magic, and mystery of life.

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Transform Your Mind Podnews

If life gives you lemons remember the goal is the destination

If your goal is to retire and travel the world, that is your, destination goal. The journey could take you around that golf course several times back and forth, sometimes you would be stuck in the sand box, sometimes you will hit the ball in the lake, but if you keep playing you will eventually get to the 18th hole. Use this analogy for your life, just keep playing the, game of life. Don’t be attached to the journey just the, destination goal. If life gives you lemons, make other plans.

The target affects the arrow! Keep the target in your vision and the arrow will find it.

Forrest Gump said it best, life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you are going to get so,  if life gives you lemons, make other plans.

This is coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna.

Additional Resources

The Events in Life Work Together for Your Good

 

How God Uses Coincidence To Get You To Your Destiny

Ho God Uses Coincidence in Destiny

In this episode of 5 Min Fridays with Coach Myrna, we look at the,  Bible story, of, Joseph, to see how God uses, coincidence, to get us to our, purpose and destiny.  I show that there are, no coincidences in life, that every moment has been, preordained.
So, if you have been feeling unlucky because you had, coincidence, show up in your life that did not feel good, I want you to know that every event has a, purpose, and that is to take you to your, preordained destiny.

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Ephesians 2:10

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Bible Story Of Joseph and destiny

I want to use the, bible story, of, Joseph, the son of Jacob to show how God uses, coincidence. Joseph, was born with a purpose, prearranged by God. It was determined in his mother’s womb or before.

Because he was born to his father in his old age, his father Jacob loved him more than his 10 other brothers. That created jealousy. His brothers hated him because he was his father’s favorite. When Jacob made, Joseph, a beautiful robe of many colors, his brothers became even more jealous of him.  Then Joseph, started dreaming about his brothers bowing down to him and he decided to share his, dreams.

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iHeart Radio

Bad move, never share your, dreams, of success with others even family members because they will secretly hate you and want you dead. They may not try to kill you as Joseph’s brothers wanted to do, but maybe they would wish evil on you.

The good news is whatever God ordains no man can change.

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How God Used Coincidence to get Joseph to his purpose and destiny

It is amazing how God orchestrated getting, Joseph, to fulfill his, purpose.

  • First, he got Joseph’s father Jacob to love him more, thereby creating a fire starter.
  • Then he gave, Joseph, dreams, and inspired him to share them with his brothers, creating hatred.
  • Then he gave his brothers opportunity to sell him into slavery by inspiring his father Jacob to send, Joseph, alone to find his brothers.
  • The slave traders then sold, Joseph,  to the pharaoh’s captain of palace guard Potiphar.

How would, Joseph, get in position to fulfill his, purpose, if these apparent, coincidences, did not take place?

There are, no coincidences in life,  everything is, preordained, in God’s plan.

What you think is bad luck is actually God getting you in position for greatness.

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Joseph story of coincidences continues

Potiphar’s wife has the hots for, Joseph, but when he wouldn’t sleep with her, she seeks revenge by accusing him of trying to rape her and so Joseph is thrown into prison. The same prison that the Pharaoh sends prisoners from the palace.

Later Pharaoh throws his cup bearer and his baker in prison and who oversees them, Joseph!

Then God gives them both, dreams, and tells, Joseph, the interpretation of their, dreams. It so happens that in 3 days both, dreams, come through according to, Joseph’s interpretation.   The cup bearer is returned to his role in the palace and the baker was killed.

A full 2 years later the Pharaoh had 2, dreams, that he needed interpreting and that is when the cup bearer remembered, Joseph, the Hebrew slave who interpreted his, dreams, in prison.

Pharaoh sends for, Joseph, who interprets his, dreams. Joseph, tells Pharaoh that the, dreams, meant God is notifying him there will be 7 bountiful years followed by 7 Years of severe famine.

Pharaoh then makes, Joseph, administrative head of Egypt second only to himself. Everyone needed to bow down to him.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

God’s purpose for Joseph realized

God’s, purpose, for, Joseph, was to be the instrument that would save the Egyptians from all dying in the famine that was, preordained, before, Joseph, was born. The famine would have also have wiped out all of Abraham’s defendants as well and that would have made God’s promise to Abraham, that his defendants would be as numerous as the stars in the sky to be void, and how many of you know that God is not man, he does not lie. He used, coincidence, to move, Joseph, in position to realize his preordained, destiny.

Coincidence is to get you to your destiny

I wanted to share this story with you today to illustrate that you were born with a, purpose, and there are no, coincidence, in life. Every moment is, preordained. Think of all the, coincidences,  God had to orchestrate for, Joseph, to fulfill his, purpose and destiny. Most of them not in, Joseph, favor.

My life has been the same.  There were several, coincidences, that got  me to my, purpose and destiny. If I was to pick up my story from the time I arrived in Canada from Guyana.

I met this girl working in a factory making zippers. She took me with her to look for a better job. That, coincidence, got me a job at Scotia Bank and she did not find work. While I was at Scotia Bank, I met my second husband who was 12 years older than me and schooled me in life and suggested I go back to college.

After college I started selling computers.  the, coincidence, of how I met Tony Robbins. Tony came to town and sent free tickets to my company for his “unleash the power within” conference.  Tony Robbins inspired me to unleash my power within and I became the top female limousine operator in Toronto Canada.

This, coincidence,  brought me to Miami Florida. Miami was my Egypt, it is where I needed to be to fulfil my, purpose.  I will stop here, but you get the picture. There are, no coincidences in life, every step in your journey is, preordained, and is God’s plan, even the steps you take backwards.

Conclusion coincidence

So, if you feel you have been lucky or if you feel that you are unlucky, I want you to know that every, coincidence, has a, purpose, and that is to take you to your, preordained destiny.

This is life coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to 5 mins with coach Myrna.  I want to invite you to join my private Facebook group called Lifecoach. Hope to see you next week.  Namaste

Additional Resources 

How to Awaken to Your Soul Purpose