Single means not married. If you have a boyfriend, you are single. If you are engaged, you are single. If you live with a guy, you are single.
So, what is the right way to be single?
Should you go to clubs and pick up guys for one-night stands? Should you play the algorithms from dating sites? Should you get a rule book and play the rules?
In this episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna, I share what you should do while prepare yourself for love.
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Movie: How to be single
I just finished watching the movie, How to be Single. The movie showcases three, single ladies. One woman using algorithms to select her perfect mate from 10 dating sites. Her goal was to find a mate and get married 18 months after meeting her man.
The second woman chose to sleep with strange men and have no meaningful connection with any of these men. To her sex was just a bodily function like peeing.
The 3rd woman didn’t want to be, single, so she slept with men hoping it would lead to something, but the timing was always wrong. She kept meeting men who were emotionally unavailable or wanted to play the one-night stand game. In the end she decided that it was great being alone and doing her own thing. She even either purchased or made her own contraption to pull down her zipper!
Single ladies are looking but not finding single men
I am sure most of the women listening to this podcast are not married, because it seems to be the culture. Everybody is looking but nobody is finding.
Also, it may seem condescending but let me share the definition of, single. Single, means not married. If you have a boyfriend, you are, single. If you are engaged, you are, single. If you live with a guy, you are, single.
So, what is the right way to be single?
Should you go to clubs and pick up guys for one-night stands? Absolutely not. I don’t know who started that trend. Probably the same person who made up the name whore. Sex should be a very personal and intimate experience. Everybody you have sex with leaves a part of themselves behind. Hollywood needs to stop promoting promiscuity. It is definitely not the way to be, single.
Single Ladies Throw out the rule book
Should, single ladies, have rules like Steve Harvey’s 90-day rule? In the movie “Think Like a Man” one, single, woman decided that her cookie did not come out of the cookie jar until after 90 days. So, she told her date this number and he was game to wait it out because now her cookie was something he wanted. Something interesting happened along the way. He started to like her and called her his girlfriend.
That was exactly why, Steve Harvey, gave this advice. The longer you wait to have sex, the man has time to get to know you as a girlfriend. I interviewed a relationship coach on the show the episode was called “What do men want” he says that as soon as you sleep with a man his emotional connection stops growing. So, the longer you keep sex off the table, the more his feelings for you grows.
Some, single ladies, subscribe to the theory that sex before marriage ruins a marriage. We can always find the extremes. The trick to being, single, is to find out what works for you. If you want the, girlfriend experience, I suggest you get to know the man before you introduce sex in the relationship.
How to be Single
I believe this is, how to be single:
- Enjoy your own company by learning how to be alone without being lonely.
- Getting to know yourself, your real likes and dislikes, what makes you happy. When there is no one around to please, you please yourself, you do more self-care. You go to the gym, not to meet men, but to improve yourself.
- Prepare yourself so you will be ready when your soul mate shows up.
You are in the meantime space.
Tune in next week as we talk about what to do while you are waiting for love.
This is life coach Myrna Young, and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. Thanks for listening. Until next time Namaste