The Emotional Trials and Triumphs of Cancer

Triumphs of Cancer

The fear of, cancer, can be just as powerful as actual, cancer, right? And not all, cancers, in fact  most, cancers, are not a death sentence. So, what I wanted to do was to explain in my book is that we don’t really know what people are going through.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9901987-the-emotional-trials-and-triumphs-of-cancer.mp3?download=true

 

Today I interview  David Richman who is a motivational speaker, personal consultant, and author of CYCLE OF LIVES and WINNING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK.

Cycle of Lives shares 15 REAL STORIES OF TRIALS AND TRIUMPH WITH VICTORY AND DEFEAT: Many books only share one perspective; however, David’s book provides cancer stories told from 15 different perspectives, allowing readers to examine a wide range of experiences, events, emotions, backgrounds, and viewpoints. This array of human experiences will help readers to grow in empathy and better understand how issues like suicide, abandonment, loss, survivor guilt, abuse, fertility, and more, affect the way people deal with the traumas that shape their lives, cancer, or otherwise.

How has your life been impacted personally by cancer?

David: What brought me to this project was, my sister was diagnosed with, terminal brain cancer,  in 2004. So, she was right around 40, married with two young kids, great profession, life going great for her. Then all of a sudden, she was diagnosed with, terminal brain cancer, and all that was going to be taken away. To me that was profound on a lot of different levels.  Because not only was she gonna face the reality that she was going to die soon. Some people get a terminal diagnosis, but survive, but my sister had no hope.

She had kind of come to terms with the fact that there was a lot of different aspects of it that she had to deal with. And I think that’s kind of true with anybody that might have that type of an issue, where you’re forced to face your own mortality. And with, cancer, especially, you’re kind of given sometimes time to get your house in order, right? A lot of a lot of people die on the spot, they don’t get tine to put their house in order.

Myrna: So, let me ask you, I know I’m jumping ahead of myself, but it seems like a good point to ask the question. Do you think that from the people that you’ve spoken to you, do they appreciate getting this time?  If somebody asks, how much time I got, and I said five months? Do they appreciate that time and knowing they have 5 months to live? Or they prefer not to know?

Do people appreciate knowing of their mortality

David: That’s a great question. I think it’s probably super personal. That’s the whole reason that I wrote the book, if you are going through, trauma, or know somebody who is going through, trauma, whether it’s terminal or not, but it’s related to, cancer, you know, some other major trauma,  if you do have the opportunity to form deeper connections with these people, do so.

The problem is, is that we often self-isolate, and or we abandon people not willingly, but we just, we don’t want to say we don’t know what to do. We don’t want to make people feel guilty. We don’t want to say the wrong thing or bring people down or whatever. And so, a lot of times, people do not use this time constructively.

Sponsored AD

In the book Warm Socks: Life Lessons From My Father, by Edna Brown Mark, the author shares that after meeting a stranger in a Medical clinic, she realizes that money and material things wasn’t what she needed to be happy. . She realized it wasn’t what her father had given her, it was what he had taught her.  To have a happy, fulfilled, and purposeful life. These gifts were priceless.

Warm socks: Life Lessons from my father is a captivating memoir you would want to give to anyone you care about. It’s a book about a father who didn’t give his daughter the materials things she wanted, but he gave her the most important gifts of all – powerful lessons to have a successful, fulfilled, and happy life. It’s a page turner. You won’t want to put the book down.

Pick up your copy of Warm Socks: Life Lessons from My Father, by Edna Brown Mark today on Amazon.

 

Myrna: How did you deal with your sister’s diagnosis? And how did you help her?

David: Great question. So, what we did was, throughout our adult lives, we were close, sometimes not close, because life just gets in the way, right. Like we she had her family and kids and friends and work and you know, just like gets in the way. After the, cancer diagnosis, though, I think we probably talked way more regularly and purposefully.

I had a friend recently who lost one of his best friends, and he said that they couldn’t count the number of, cancer nodes,  on his lungs, because there was too many, so he died really quickly after his, cancer diagnosis. And my friend said, that was probably the best way, why put him through all that pain?

Sometimes the reality is there, I felt like with my sister, even though she fought for three or four years, I mean, there wasn’t an option for her to survive, because she had a massive tumor and it spread. What happened was that anytime that I reached out, she was available. We didn’t always talk about heavy stuff. But knowing that there was a finish line, fast approaching, I think that we, with intentionality really tried to try to bond as deeply as we could.

Sponsored AD

Having bad credit and being denied credit every time you apply for anything can be extremely frustrating and embarrassing. Bad credit may be a problem, but there is a solution: Back on Track Financial: You can improve your credit scores with Back on Track Financials’ credit development program, which helps you fix and build your credit.

Their number one priority is boosting your credit scores by removing negative items from your credit and educating you on how to establish and manage your credit file. Back On Track has the roadmap to getting your scores within the 700-800 range. Aren’t you tired of fantasizing about the car you could drive, the house you could live in, or the business you could start?

Turn your dreams into reality by getting back on track today. Back on track has experience removing everything from large items such as bankruptcies and student loans down to small items like medical bills collections and hard inquiries. They have removed it all. Their service is more affordable than ever, give them a call today at 404-694-6569 or visit their website at Go.FicoRush.com

Transform Your Mind Podnews
Transform Your Mind Podnews

A terminal diagnosis of cancer

Myrna: Now, a lot of people who are given that diagnosis would say I’m gonna make peace because they tell you to put your house in order and make sure you tell everyone you love them. And maybe you should do the things that you have always wanted to do. You think that people do that, like their, bucket lists? Do they do that?

David: I think that’s a rarity. Because you know, we live in denial. And one of the people I spoke to was a doctor, an oncologist at NYU. She told me that no one accepts that they are going to die from, cancer. They always have hope, so very few people put their house in order or do things on their, bucket list. One of the things she told me that really made a lot of sense was, the human brain is not wired to be able to really contemplate in an understanding way our own mortality, it just doesn’t just doesn’t happen.

I think that kind of explains why we don’t ever want to put our house in order and we don’t ever want to do those, bucket list, kinds of things. Because we just don’t think we’re going to die. So the vast majority of people that I spoke to, they did have a fair amount of denial, either from them or the people that they loved. They put off taking care of things. They were abandoned by people that loved them, they self-isolated and didn’t close loops that they probably should have closed.

Sponsored Ad

Hey! Are you always scrolling Amazon trying to find the best deals? How about trying something different and head over to happyhourshopping.com Happy Hour Shopping is an online store where you can find the best Amazon products at happy hour prices!
Here you will find interesting, innovative, and high-quality merchandise at reduced prices all in one store.  This online store has a collection of over 5,000 products including luxury, beauty, clothing, electronics, automotive parts, kids toys and much more.

So, enhance your life and save time! Grab the best products any online store has to offer as soon as possible and don’t miss your opportunity to save time and money, because opportunity never knocks twice. That website again is https://happyhourshopping.com/

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Cancer patients live in hope

Myrna: So true, that is why suicide is so against the norm, because most of us are wired to preserve our life, and we will go to great lengths to stay alive, even when the quality of our lives is taken away, we want to live. So that is a very distinct, very good information to put out to someone who is reading this, that is either going through, trauma, or they know someone who has been given a terminal diagnosis of, cancer. Make sure that you tell your loved ones that you love them and put your house in order.

David: My book is not all about death and dying from, cancer, because, cancer,  does not always mean death. Even the fear of, cancer, can be unbelievably traumatic for some people, right? Imagine if you received a diagnosis, it was early diagnosis, like a stage one, cancer, or something, and very treatable. But now you got to live the rest of your life thinking in the back of your head, oh, my gosh,

  • Am I allowed to go out in the sun?
  • Should I eat a certain food?
  • Do I need to exercise more?
  • Is this, cancer, going to come back and take me?
  • Do I not have kids because I don’t want to lose them in case my, cancer, is fatal.
Sponsored Ad

It may surprise you to know that over 90% of businesses fail within the first 5 years. That is why Artsy Animate want to help you to scale your business for success. According to business owners, two reasons for failure, are money running out and ineffective marketing. In order to grow your business and shine, you need people to help you grow.

Here at Artsy Animate, we dabble in all of it. Our team of experts all have over 5 years of experience, we develop top quality websites and offer you our best SEO strategies to help you rank and stay ahead of the competition at an affordable price. We will help/guide you reach your ultimate goal – success- bringing in more clients for your business. For more information, visit www.artsyanimate.com OR contact us at support@artsyanimate.com

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Living in fear of cancer

I mean, the, fear of cancer, can be just as powerful as actual, cancer, right? And not all, cancers, in fact  most, cancers, are not a death sentence. So what I wanted to do was to explain in my book is  what are people going through that we might not know? Or what, traumas, have affected them so that they’re not able to navigate this kind of traumatic diagnosis of, cancer.  Because we don’t really know what people are going through.

Myrna: Yea death and taxes are the only thing that are guaranteed. And yet, we don’t want to we don’t want either of them.

One of the things you said, though, is that, went and you interviewed, these 15 cancer survivors even though each one of their stories were different, you found something that was consistent that linked all these stories.  What is the link?

Sponsored Ad
Book Living through Alchemy
Book Living through Alchemy

What every cancer patient fears

David: Sure, so there were two things that was consistent. And just to add one more thing to what you just said is it also is not just people that had gone through, cancer, that I spoke to, but also caregivers, doctors. I spoke to people that never had, cancer, themselves, but their lives were centered around, cancer, as a caregiver, or maybe they were with a loved one who went through, cancer.

So, I wanted all those different perspectives, because I think that it’s not the same. If your spouse is diagnosed with, cancer, there still is an unbelievably deep and traumatic set of emotions that go through you, as well, right? You’re not even the one with, cancer, but imagine what you must go through watching your spouse go through, cancer.

But the two things that I found that were quite consistent with every person I spoke to whether they made the book, or they didn’t this is one:

  • No matter how crazy people lives are, nobody thinks their life is that interesting. They’re just living their life
  • Two they feared asking for help. The theme that we’ve been talking about, which is almost everybody not everybody, had a big identification with the thought of, I don’t know if I’m equipped to form really deep connections with the people around me about what I’m going through.
  • They are dealing with the tasks like how do I get to my appointment? How do I get my kids watched while I’m in the chemo chair? How do I navigate time off work? How do I eat healthier?  They don’t want to be a burden, so they have a hard time asking for help. And that was very, very consistent with almost every single person I spoke to.

Myrna: Do you think it’s because people don’t really like to ask for help?

David: That’s definitely a. Yeah,

Sponsored Ad
Sassynchicfashions.com
Sassynchicfashions.com

We carry the biggest collection for church fashions from designer church suits, church dresses, and church hats.

https://sassynchicfashions.com/

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Patricia’s story: I don’t get colds, I get cancer

There was one story about this woman her name is Patricia and she made the statement I don’t get colds, I get, cancer.  From that statement, I delve into her, mindset, and I am assuming that she’s had a hard life because she made the comment that I don’t get colds, I get cancer, which tells me that, cancer, kept coming back. But, one of the reasons that I want to I want to I want to touch on it, is because I also know when we make statements like this one, then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, what can you share about Patricia’s story?

David: Wow, that’s a great insight. So, her story is really fascinating. And one of the things that was hilarious was like the second conversation I had with her she tells me, “My life’s not that interesting.” So,  let me try to explain her story. Her story is pretty fascinating, because I thought it was about the fact that she had, beat cancer, five different times over a 35-year period. But that’s not what her story is about. Near the end of her talking to me, I asked Patricia, I go, Hey, What’s your secret? Like how did you, beat cancer, 5 times?

And she said to me, well, ever since I moved on from x, and I’ll give you point x in a second. She said, every time that I moved on from point x, all I did was I just said to myself,

Every single day, you have to put your feet on the ground, get up out of bed, and go about your day.

Transform Your Mind PTWWNTV
Transform Your Mind PTWWNTV

Now sometimes David, I was able to make my bed and walk away. Other times, I make my bed and lay right back into it. But I wanted to get up and put my feet on the ground and make my bed and go about my day. Oh, wow. Now not knowing her story. If you told me life was get your feet on the ground and make your bed and go about your day, I’d roll my eyes go on, whatever, you know, good for you.

But her story is this so when she’s a teenager she was in a relationship and that the relationship was exceptionally abusive. To the point where she has is forced to cut ties with every person that she knows, including her family friends, not allowed to go out anywhere on her own. He beats her up if he just thinks that she’s having a bad thought. I mean, it’s horrible. Okay, so after four years she learns how to escape by getting another identity and she escapes that abusive relationship.

Shortly after she escapes, she gets diagnosed with, cancer, for the first time. Over a 35-year period she gets diagnosed with, cancer, five different times and five different types of, cancer, very serious. Her story is while beating the first, cancer, she met some someone and he becomes the only person that she had ever met that she could trust and that she could love and felt would love her no matter what.

This man helped her recover from that abusive situation she had escaped from. And he was beside her for her whole life, during which time she was fighting all these different, cancers,  and living her life. This love sustained her through battling her cancers, caring for her dad who died of, cancer.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Everyone has their time in the barrel

She looked at herself one day in the mirror, and she said, hey, don’t walk around, like all burden. Don’t walk around all emotional.

Everybody has their time in the barrel. All you do is just keep getting up, keep putting your foot on the ground, make your bed and go about your day.

And I’m just like, holy cow. She’s had been through all of that and the only solution to her was, everybody’s got a tough life. Everybody has it bad, you could be burdened by it. Or you could not just get your feet on the ground, make your bed and go about your day. I’m like, That’s brilliant. Right. And so, so that’s, that’s Patricia’s story. So, I mean, there’s more way more to her story you have to read the book.

Myrna: Well, you surprised me with that answer. But I get it. When I looked at that statement. I don’t get colds, I get cancer. I thought that was a, defeated mindset. You know, saying I’m always sick. And then you become always sick, like self-fulfilling prophecy. But instead, she’s looking at, cancer, almost like a cold, something that you get through. You get, and you just go on with your life!

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Never sick a day in my life except cancer

David: And you know, one of the first things she said to me, she goes, I never been sick a day in my life. I never had a cold; I never had the flu. I have never been sick except for, cancer, and all the other stuff that came with it, I literally have never been sick a day in my life. And she goes, if somebody wrote a story about me, it would be titled, I don’t get colds, I get cancer!

Myrna: What do you want the reader to walk away with after reading your, cancer stories?

David:  Well, first of all, what I want them to know is that each one of the book participants, doctor, patient, loved one, whatever survivor, they chose a, cancer focused charity, or other charity that they wanted the proceeds of the book to go to, so 100% of the proceeds of the book, no matter where it’s sold, or how it sold, it gets divided up between the organizations that they chose. So that’s number one. What I want the reader to know is they’ll be doing some good financially, there’s not a lot of money in books, but 100% of it will go to support their organizations.

But I think what more you know, like that saying, we talked about it earlier, like you never know what people are going through. That’s what I want readers to walk away with. We really have no idea what people are going through.  For example, Patricia finished a master’s in art. She’s an amazing artist and when you were sitting next to her in art class and admiring her work, and she’s admiring yours, you would have no idea what she had gone through.

Book Cycle of Lives: Cancer stories
Book Cycle of Lives: Cancer stories

Conclusion

Myrna: How can readers get their hands on your book? How can they connect with you on social media?

David: Yes, the book is available wherever books are sold. So, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, your local bookstore. Up until a week ago, I couldn’t have said this. But now the audible is out. So, it’s, it’s available as a book, as an e book or as an audio book. In fact, we had 15 different actors each read one of the different stories, so it’s very entertaining, and very inspirational and it’s not very heavy. There’s a lot of inspiration that can come from these stories.

They can connect with me on Facebook or Instagram @cycleoflives or @David Richman or go to my website www.David-Richman.com  And they can learn about the institutions that we’re supporting, and all the other things that are going on around this whole cycle of life’s project.

Additional Resources

Nothing is Impossible: How to Turn Life’s Challenges Into Opportunity

 

How to Heal the Mother Wound From Your Childhood

Mother wound healing

We all know that children from zero to seven are all like little sponges, downloading everything. This is when the, mother wound, gets started. Mothers, are nurturers if the child is not getting nurtured, they fail to thrive.

I want to say that I personally have not had a, mother wound.  My, mother, and I are pretty close. I’m the eldest of four children and my, mother, she’s actually my best friend. But I understand the pain from the, mother wound. I adopted three children from the, foster care, system who were heavily wounded by their, mothers.  They all had, abandonment, issues so,  I experienced firsthand how the, mother wound, affected every aspect of their lives.

The girls became promiscuous with men and boys, wanted friends and have people like them. Also because of the, mother wound, they were not being able to bond with me or my husband, because another bi-product of the, mother wound, is, attachment disorder, so the adoption was not successful in integrating our families.

My guest today is Keri Hummingbird, author of “Love is Fierce: Healing the Mother Wound. If you or anyone you know need healing from, mother wounds, this is the episode for you.

Listen to the full interview here:

 

Introduction

Keri Hummingbird Sami is a soul guide, shamanic healer, award winning author and inspirational speaker. Kerri has over 20 years of experience in helping women rewrite the story of their lives through inner transformation, connection to essence, remembrance of purpose and realignment to authenticity and truth.

Myrna – Kerri what was your relationship with your mother like? Were you wounded by your, mother?

Kerri – Myrna even though your personal experience with your, mother, from your vantage point is very healed, which is a beautiful gift, there is like an ocean of not healed women on the planet. Having a, mother, as a life preserver who knows how to love is so beautiful and really pivotal because everything that happens in our early life, starting from the moment of conception is being recorded.

Starting from the moment of conception in the mother’s womb, babies are being formed in the, consciousness, of the, mother, it can’t be any other way. You’re inside the, mother, you’re being formed by the, mother’s, beliefs about herself, beliefs about the world, ancestral traumas that are unhealed; all of it goes inside of our ancestral DNA in our very human bodies.

Sponsored Ad

https://www.youtube.com/c/AlexJulia/featured

https://open.spotify.com/track/7MCbqgmUZ32O3kcqsu0Xoe?si=79ccb84e41b84b65

Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV
Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV

Your Communication with your mother starts in the womb

Just imagine that the voice that you speak to yourself with it starts forming when you’re being formed inside your, mother’s womb, so however your, mother, speaks to herself is how you start to learn to speak to yourself. If the, mother, is not confident or if she’s had sexual traumas or if she does not believe in herself that’s going to influence your development. If the, mother, believes in herself, if she’s strong, if she’s vibrant then you’re getting that. You’re getting that training inside as you’re growing inside her body.

They’ve proven now that babies are able to perceive outside the womb, they’re able to perceive not only what’s going on inside the, mother, but also the outside environment. Babies can perceive things, they can hear voices, a vibration happens they can feel things, they sense things.

So, the beginning of education in earth school starts from the moment of conception. We all know that children from zero to seven are all like little sponges, downloading everything. This is when the, mother wound, gets started. Mothers, are nurturers if the child is not getting nurtured, they fail to thrive.

 

If a child is not being nurtured by the mother they develop a mother wound

If you experience a big loss like an, abandonment, early in that zero to seven age range, that’s hugely impacting. Anywhere along your development from zero to twenty-one, anything that happens is going to be huge for you, because all of your various bodies are getting developed.

Your physical body is getting developed first, then your emotional body is getting developed then your mental body is getting developed, then your spiritual body gets developed until age 28, so all of these bodies are being formed. Everything that happens in your life experience is like creating the context of your life, the inner context.

Myrna – In this moment anyone who is a, mother, should take that role seriously. It’s a big responsibility. Before I got into this consciousness space and this self-improvement space I would hear them talk about the men or women who are in prison and blame their parents. It all starts with their, mother wound.

I always thought it was a big old blame game, but now I know it’s true the, mother wound, develops into so many unfortunate situations.

Sponsored Ad

TwillightWing offers spells for various purposes from finding your Soul Mate, acquiring more Money, Healing, Lucid Dreaming and Astral Travel, and my most popular, Opening Your Third Eye, to name a few. I have over 17 spells ready for your desire!

For more information and to find the spell for you click the link below

https://www.etsy.com/shop/TwilightWingsMagicks

Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Your Mother Wound affects your children

Kerri – I want to reassure every, mother, because when I started learning about the, mother wound, I started going to self-judgment. I look at oldest child especially how his life rolled out. He’s really struggling with this and that and I was struggling with the same things while he was in me. I had a lot of, mental health, challenges that I’d been working on when I was pregnant with him at 30.

I had already been working on it for 15 years from the time I was 15 years old because I had early, childhood trauma, so I was trying to heal and I thought I had it all together and then he came into my womb.

This happens to a lot of, mothers, because you get pregnant and then your whole physiology changes. Any traumas from your childhood comes right up to the surface. You start having, postpartum depression, or other things and you’re like why is this happening. I was really excited to have this baby. Why am I going through, postpartum depression?

Having a baby, it’s like the big purge. One of the reasons for, postpartum depression, is not dealing with stuff from your past or not dealing with your, mother wounds. Psychology makes an effort in helping, mothers, to cope with this kind of thing. I even invested in psychotherapy.
I would sit there every week and like try to work on myself.

Sponsored Ad

Think you need to spend all your time and energy chasing clients to succeed as a creative entrepreneur? Wrong! I’ll show you how to turn the tables and get clients attracted to YOUR BRAND.

If you’re like me, you want to earn as much as possible for as little work as possible. Economists call this maximizing your opportunity cost. I call this being smart and efficient.

How is this even possible?

I’ve created a proven process specifically for creative entrepreneurs so you can succeed. The personal coaching element allows you access to my wealth of knowledge without the price tag of many other coaches.

I take creative entrepreneurs just like you and I’ll teach you how to develop a brand that sets you apart in the market within the next three months using a simple, repeatable process that just plain works.

In the program, I’ll be teaching you everything from my 25+ year career of building better brands and squeezed it into a fast path program to help you go from zero to success in as little as 90 days. If you do the work, you will see results!

Schedule a free, 30-minute call to discuss your specific business needs.
https://buildabetterbrand.affinitymediacourses.com/BABBSCQFunneloptin

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

How the mother wound affects your romantic relationships

Myrna – If you’re abandoned by your mom or hurt by your mom, the, mother wound, it’s very hard for you to love yourself, then you can’t really be in romantic relationships.

You have to remove the subconscious programming that says you are not good enough and learn to love yourself.  If you can’t release the, mother wound, and love yourself, you will continue to struggle in romantic relationships. You must gain control of your life as it deals with this issue of the, mother wound?

Kerri – I think that subconscious holds the keys to all of it because if you think about this concept of the iceberg submerged in the ocean. The part you see above the water is the conscious mind, but there’s so much more underneath the surface.

There’s so much to explore about your own consciousness to understand yourself better, so that you can show up even better.

You didn’t choose to be molested , you didn’t choose to be abandoned, you didn’t choose to be hurt by your, mother, and have a, mother wound.

According to according to Dr Wayne Dyer‘s teaching he says we chose our parents, because we needed that experience in order to do what we have to do in this earth.

Sponsored Ad

Do you enjoy watching movies?  YES

Do you like to hear other people’s opinions on movies? YES

And do you find that you don’t always have the time to listen to an entire podcast about one movie? YES

Well then you might enjoy my new podcast…

LIVING FOR THE CINEMA

My reviews cover the good, the bad and the ugly of what makes each film unique but…in less than 15 minutes.

Check out LIVING FOR THE CINEMA

On all platforms including i-Tunes, Spotify, Google and anywhere else podcasts are available.

https://livingforthecinema.com

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Psychotherapy can help to heal the mother wound

My journey in psychotherapy helped my understanding of why I had a, mother wound. The home I grew up in from the time I was five years old, was very solid. My mom and my dad worked as a team. I didn’t always like the things that they told me I had to do, but they were caring, they were loving and attentive.

We had three-way hugs in a supportive family environment. We went sailing on the weekends, we had a nice life. So I was like, why am I so screwed up? I had this feeling that something got broken inside of me from my early childhood, because I knew that there was trauma from zero to five years old.

It was a big trauma. My mom married a man who was probably not suited to be a dad. He had his own trauma story from his own childhood of being abused by his mother and left outside of hotel rooms while she slept with men and things like that. He was abandoned in hotels for days, so we had all these traumas he was working through.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict
Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

Unresolved Wounds from your childhood affects your ability to parent

My, mother, started noticing that there was a really good possibility that he was going to molest me. I want to give my mom huge props, because many, mothers, stay in a situation like that afraid to leave, but my, mother, was a warrior of love. So left and found the next best pathway and that was my first step father.

My first stepfather was a violent drunk, so it was very traumatic. So by the time I was five after four years with this violent step father, we moved and just by chance met my second stepfather who I call my dad. He is the man my, mother, has been with for 45 years until he passed away three years ago.

Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts
Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts

Spirituality is the path to healing the mother wound

I started my spiritual path and for me that was the opening because it taped into beyond the mind, it taped into the body where a lot of trauma is stored. Many people know trauma is stored in the body and it taps into the emotional body. When you’re a child and you’re seeing these scary things happening, you don’t have words to talk. You don’t have language.

As an adult, you have to go deeper into the body, the somatic experience. You have to go into inner child healing, and make friends with all these aspects of you and become their parents. It’s really about re-mothering yourself and the re-mothering process takes some time because
of those early conditionings.

You have to stay in the conversation of love and kindness and gentleness long enough for it to start to sink in, and for these aspects to heal. Along that journey all kinds of modalities might happen for you. I found mine in a shaman. Somebody told me they got healed by a shaman and I was like sign me up.

Podcast Land 

 

How can men heal the mother wound?

What are men’s role in healing the, mother wound? A lot of times men add it to the damage that the, mother, started and then the men compound the, mother wound.

Kerri – Men can help by healing the mother wounds inside of them, because all men were boys and they came out of a, mother, so that’s why the solution is the, mother, because we all live in a, mother, to begin life. So, in order to heal we all have to walk back to the, mother.

Your relationship with your, mother, and the programming of love that you received from your, mother, is also your trust in your connection with the divine and earth. It’s a multi-dimensional conversation, because whatever lack of trust you have with your biological mother, that same lack of trust can show up in your connection with the divine, in your connection with the planet.

If you’re disregarding your body, you’re probably also disregarding your impact on the earth.

Luminary 

Why did you write the book “Love is Fierce: healing the mother wound”?

Kerri – My book uses my personal experience to illustrate various points that are very common across humanity so, there’s a lot of themes in the book that talk about why it is that we are in the situation we’re in right now. Why we have so much war and conflict, misunderstanding and divides between people. This is because of the breakdown of the matriarchy. The breakdown of the feminine and how a lot of the patterns we see are derived directly from breakdown of that primary relationship with the, mother.

I had to go through the deep inner work to write the book and to reveal the patterns, but honestly I’ve been working on this project my entire life.

Myrna – I understand, you had 20 years in psychotherapy. This project allowed you to heal your, mother wound, and also heal the, mother wounds, of your children.

Myrna – Where can our listeners connect with you get a copy of your book? How can they connect with you on social media and your website?

Kerri- They can connect with me on my website www.kerrihummingbird.com
On the website there is a link to sign up for 17 days of interviews on the return of mother wisdom, which I find to be really inspiring. I interviewed all these women and they have these beautiful things to say about where we’re going with humanity on the earth.

You can purchase the book on amazon and then you can take your confirmation number over to www.motherwoundbook.com  (receive 17 days of interviews for the Return of Mother Wisdom Series)

I also have a podcast called the Soul Nectar Show, I hope you’re going to come and be a guest on the show.

Free Gift

Love Mastery Game, and oracle card game that explains the Love Lesson you’re learning by a particular challenge.

Additional Resources

Reflection 4 Rejection: Surviving My Mothers Abandonment and Abuse

How to Heal After being Abandoned

Being, abandoned, by  a loved one cuts deeply in the heart resulting in emotional, abandonment.  It is the result of a significant person discarding you, dismissing you, devaluing you, or not acknowledging you. This type of invisible injury causes great harm to the recipient.  In fact, the term “recipient” is ironic because often the recipient receives nothing; which is the problem.

Abandoned by Love
Abandoned by Love

Regardless if you are, abandoned by your parents, a lover, a friend, a sibling. The feeling of, not being enough, overwhelms those who are, abandoned. No one sees it and it tends to go underground in terms of abuse. Victims simply feel empty and invisible.

Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast
Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

Sponsored Ad

Hello everyone out there! I just wanted to take a brief moment to share with you a major credit secret that most people are not even aware of that can help you with your credit needs.

In this day and age I think we all know how important good credit is and how credit is tied to everything we do from buying a house, a car, a job, an apartment, insurance, virtually everything comes down to your credit history.

The Problem is many of us have made mistakes or just run into circumstances beyond our control dealing with credit. The good news is that SecondCreditProfile.com can help you legally establish a new personal or business credit profile. This is the biggest secret that credit agencies don’t want you to know about. I encourage you to check out SecondCreditProfile.com for more information. Thank you

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Here are the top 3 reasons for feeling, Abandoned:

  • Devalued and rejected by others
  • Abandoned, by our parents
  • Feelings of, not good enough,  because we have lack.

When the, abandonment, wound is caused by an absent parent. When one of your parents has chosen to not be in your life, this cuts deeply. There is no easy explanation to be found by those who’ve been abandoned by a parent. Some try to make the best of the situation, ignoring that fact that they don’t have this parent in their lives; but the damage is still the same.  There are life-long consequences to parental abandonment.

Children in the foster care system that have been, abandoned, by their parents never regain their self-esteem. They look are other kids who have their parents and feel worthless. They end up most time becoming promiscuous because they look for love in all the wrong places.

Some learn to cope in different ways. Some pretend it doesn’t matter; some question their worth; others may be openly angry.  With, abandonment, comes defense mechanisms.

Sponsored AD

Are you a high-achieving woman of color who struggles with imposter syndrome, procrastination, and self-sabotage?

Are you tired of going to bed each night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, only for it to be more of the same?

Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?

Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then friends, check out the Productive on Purpose podcast. this podcast is for you! Search “Productive on Purpose” on your favorite podcast player to listen today!

Oh, and if you struggle with procrastination, go to planning.productivepurpose.com to download your free “Planning for Procrastinators” guide. It’s time to start walking in our purpose, y’all.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Sponsored AD

Just a young girl chasing her dream. SUNNI hare care is an organic line aiming to promote and maintain healthy hair in the African American community. I personally hand fill and label each bottle to perfection. This line is meant to be fun Please visit my website Sunni-hair products.myshopify.com
Follow the instagram page for updates @sunnihaircare

Abandoned, by Love

Most women who were, abandoned, end up in unhealthy relationship with narcissistic men who abuse them and, abandon, them again.  This pattern is repeated often.

Women who have been, abandoned, could be likened to a cracked vase. If you have been broken from, abandonment, then you can’t hold love, you can’t hold self-esteem, you can’t hold purpose, everything pours out of you.

It takes work to heal your cracks.  The first step in is to identify that you are broken from, abandonment.

Sponsored AD

Are you into fashion? Are you in need of things for your home? Look no further, BENJAMIN is a leading online accessory boutique that carries a wide variety of essential, yet overlooked and sometimes hard to find fashion, home and travel accessories. From the minimalist to the ultra-luxury, it is showcased here. www.thebenjaminshop.com

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Identifying your, Abandonment, Feelings

Once you have identified your, abandonment, issue and have processed through some of the feelings there are some other imagery exercises you can to do heal yourself. These are described below:

  1. Identify the part of you that is hurt.This can be labeled as your, “hurt inner child.” If the source of your hurt occurred in adulthood, this does not matter because the wound of, abandonment, most likely put you in a regressive state of mind.  You have likely regressed emotionally to a younger, more helpless age. Use imagery and visualize this inner child.
  2. Now imagine the part of you that is healthy and compassionate.This part of you is going to be instrumental in your healing from being, abandoned. You must come to the rescue of your inner, hurt self by offering love, time, empathy, hope, and encouragement.
  3. In addition to the hurt, abandoned, part of yourself, identify your coping mechanisms – particularly any personas or sub-selves that act out; the part of you that is trying to compensate for the hurt experienced by the abandonment of your loved one. Identify parts of you that are trying to respond to the hurt in an unhealthy manner.
  4. Talk to your inner hurt, abandoned, child.Assure her of her value and worth. Be present for her in a real and tangible way.
abandonment hurts
abandonment hurts

In the end, no matter who has hurt you, no matter how affected you may be from the resulting injury from, abandonment, you still have a life to live. Even if you have an ache in your heart for the missing person, you can still thrive in life; find hope and love, and live well. You do this by honoring your feelings, acknowledging the loss, validating the consequences of the loss, and enjoying your life.

Sponsored AD

Hypnosis-Everywhere with Ines Simpson explores, dissects, discusses and opens up the world of Hypnosis. You will discover that Hypnosis is a very big world indeed. In Hypnosis-Everywhere, Ines offers you tools and answers to deal with that tricky mind of yours, and proven ways to enrich your life.

Fears, Anxieties, Phobias, PTSD, Body health, Mind Health, Spiritual Health are just some of the things Hypnosis works for. Hypnosis-Everywhere is a show about our minds and the miracles we can achieve for ourselves and each other

webpage:  https://hypnosis.simpsonprotocol.com/hypnosis-on-the-radio

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

How the, Abandonment,  wound plays out in relationships:

  • Oversensitivity to criticism or feedback
  • Overreacting to conflict
  • Becoming a pleaser
  • Anxiety and fear of the other person leaving
  • Ending relationships early before the other person has a chance to leave
  • Jealousy or suspicion that your partner will hurt, cheat, or leave even when there’s no sign of malicious behavior
  • Self-doubt, insecurity, and lack of self-worth
  • Staying in an abusive relationship for fear of being alone
  • In more extreme cases of being deeply triggered during events such as break-ups, a divorce, or a loss:one might feel a total loss of control over their emotions, hyper-reactivity, anxiety attacks, fear, insomnia, weight loss or gain, and obsessive thoughts or behavior.

An, abandonment, wound is invisible to the eye, but it leaves telltale signs in how we relate to the external world, how we feel internally and how we behave in our relationships. It can have us spend our whole lives running from perceived danger. To test someone’s love like a straw that inevitably breaks, then using their resignation as evidence we’re living in an unsafe world. It can cause us to blindly accept the bad behavior of others, ignoring our own needs and prevent us from having a strong, powerful voice.

Sponsored AD

Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now, and this is find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose. The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walkthrough of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan to go after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.

Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

Additional Resources Abandonment

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-single-women-find-love/

How to Heal Your Brokenness

https://blog.myhelps.us/10-ways-childhood-trauma-impact-adults-in-love/

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-the-effects-of-childhood-trauma-4147640

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201706/4-ways-childhood-trauma-impacts-adults

 

 

10 Ways Childhood Trauma Impacts our Ability to Love

Child sexual abuse - break the silence
The Legacy of, Childhood Trauma

10 ways that, childhood trauma, can sabotage your love life and relationships. Relationship Coach Riana Milne joins The Transform your Mind podcast to discuss, childhood trauma, and how it impacts our adult life. Riana is the best selling author of “Love Beyond your Dreams” and “From Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success.”

For anyone who have had trouble maintaining healthy relationships, listen to find out if your have any of the, childhood trauma, that can affect your love relationships.

How Childhood Trauma affects Adults
How Childhood Trauma affects Adults

IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:

How does, childhood trauma, impact adults in life and love?
Riana goes over ten, childhood traumas, and relate them back to how they show up in our lives as an adult.
To get the most out of this topic, Riana advise the listeners to Get a sheet of paper and make three columns.

The first column you put “ME”, the second column you put “Your partner” and the third column you put “Your parents” because research shows, childhood trauma, go through the generations.

iHeart Radio

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-Transform-your-Mind-29542107/

So here are the ten, childhood traumas:

As I speak them remember that when you were child you’re very young and innocent all you knew is what mom and dad modeled to you so there’s
nothing to feel guilt or shame about.
I don’t want people to say no it didn’t happen because they’re embarrassed or they feel shame around it.
If it is a fact, if it happened write it down.
It is like putting a puzzle together. Once you know what your, childhood trauma, is and then how it’s showing up as a for you as an adult.
As a coach, I can start putting the pieces together and everything starts making a whole lot of sense.

My favorite line is you can’t change what you don’t understand.

Childhood trauma, #1
1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there’s also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder,
spending or gambling, workaholic etc. There’s 11 addictive behaviors.

Childhood trauma, #2

2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and yelling at each other? This, Childhood trauma, is typical is yelling screaming but this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like “you’ll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.

Childhood trauma, #3

3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let’s say they came home from school at 3 o’clock and mom if they’re in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours.

There’s anxiety around that. So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we’re out trying to support our kids there home alone.

Childhood trauma, #4

4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – This, childhood trauma,  could have happened in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools we’re supposed to teach our child another way.

If you’re beating them or hitting them you’re teaching them to be violent back. We don’t want to do that.

Childhood trauma, #5

5. Abandonment – There’s two types, childhood trauma, from abandonment. Fault and No Fault abandonment.
Here are three examples, childhood trauma, from no-fault abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24

Here is an example of “Fault” abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.

Childhood trauma, #6

6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to live with relatives because mom or dad couldn’t take care of you, that even includes Grandma’s, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn’t want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn’t want to go home.

Childhood trauma, #7

7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky. Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.

 

Childhood trauma, #8

8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time. Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I’m worthwhile too.

Childhood trauma, #9

9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years. Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that’s all
family trauma and community trauma. Today we can also have, childhood trauma, if we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass shootings in our community.

https://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/

Childhood trauma, #10

10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities. We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma. Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or the repercussions.

I am unlike every other love coach, because I specialize in how the past has harmed you and what you’re attracting. We call it same person different face. The repetitive toxic relationships and this happens to my clients who are very successful
in business but they struggle in love. They can’t figure out why like I can get the career right,

Sponsorship Deals

https://myhelps.us/podcast-sponsorship-transform-your-mind/

Sponsored AD

If you would like to improve the quality of your life and don’t have the budget to hire a coach, then I have an offer for you. Why not play the game of life and learn the skills to maneuver life situations. How many of you have played the game of monopoly and learned the value of having property to collect rent?

1. The Coaching Game features 65 associative cards that explore significant everyday life themes.
2. Punctum fosters associative connections between photos, themes and questions. These flexible combinations make it a fascinating tool, highly effective in dynamic therapy, coaching and counseling.
3. Faces is a powerful way to get to know ourselves through the observation of others.

For more information or to purchase one or more games. Would make a prefect Christmas gift for someone you love. Head over to https://poy4all.com/transform/?ref=17

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Riana is offering a FREE eBook
Get it here:
www.HavetheLoveYouDeserve.com

 

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to the PODCAST so you can get new episodes as they are uploaded. You can listen on, iTunes,  TuneIn radio, iHeart Radio, Stitcher and Spotify.

 

There’s Nothing “Wrong” with You that Makes Dating So Hard! In Fact, 90% of People Have the Same Challenge when it comes to Love! (And They Don’t Even Know It Exists!)
Imagine attracting and having the Emotionally Healthy Love Relationship you’ve always wanted – and the life you are passionate about! It’s possible and I’ll show you what you’ve been doing “wrong”. (And it’s not what you think!)

It’s time to get the FACTS and learn EXACTLY what is going on, and How to Fix It!

Additional Resources:

https://blog.myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-surviving-mothers-abandonment/

4 Ways a Traumatic Childhood Affects Adult Relationships

What happens to us as children can affect the attachment style we carry into our adult relationships. Childhood Trauma, hugely influences attachment. Often people who grew up in happy, healthy, and stable homes where caregivers were emotionally available and responsive to their needs have a secure attachment style. These people don’t push partners away or cling too tightly. While they may have troubles in their relationships, an unhealthy attachment style isn’t the cause.

The Long Shadow of Childhood Trauma

A new study suggests that stress experienced early in life damages the ability to assess risk, creating young adults with poor decision-making skills.