Desire – I got to have it

Desire - I got to have it

Welcome to transformation Fridays with coach Myrna, today I want to talk on the subject of, desire – when you, got to have it.

Desire is energy, the, energy of desire, is a force that creates movement towards a desired goal or purpose. The target determines the arrow! When you, desire, something, you think about it all the time and the universe gets to work on manifesting it for you.

When we use the word, desire, we could mean either one of 2 things, the desire, for things, or the desire for sex, sexual desire.  In this episode I share tools on how to manifest your, desire for money, and other tangible things.

Download Podcast Here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11270228-desire-i-got-to-have-it.mp3?download=true

When you got to have it

The concept of a, burning desire, was introduced at the beginning of the book “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. In the book Hill tells the story of a little girl whose momma sent her to get 50 cents from her uncle. This little girl went and told her uncle my momma would like to have 50 cents. The uncle replied tell your momma I don’t have no 50 cents.

But the little girl did not leave she just waited. Minutes go by and the uncle turns around from what he has been doing and noticed the girl still standing at the door, he says go on now before I take a belt to you. Still the little girl would not leave. Finally, he walks towards her preparing to give her the belt and this little walks towards him looking him straight in the eye and yelled at the top of her lungs “my momma got to have that 50 cents

The uncle amazed put his hand in his pocket and took out 50 cents and gave it to her.

A, burning desire, what is when you, got to have it. If you, got to have it, you won’t go away when someone tells you no, you won’t throw in the towel at the first failure. You won’t move until you get it.

RadioPublic Transform your mind
RadioPublic Transform your mind

Sylvester Stallone had to have the part of Rocky Balboa

I love the story of Sylvester Stallone. I have a chapter dedicated to, desire, in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” and I tell the story of Sylvester Stallone. If you have never heard it let me share.

Sylvester Stallone was broke, that’s usually how good stories start. When you hit rock bottom the only place you can go is up.

Anyway, Sylvester was broke and couldn’t afford heat in his home. One day he decided to go into the library to get warm and someone left a book on the table he was sitting on. He decided to read this book. It was a compilation of the works of Edgar Allan Poe. He devoured the book. He said that the book moved him and helped him to stop thinking about himself and to want to help other people. It made him want to become a writer.

He immediately went home and starting writing movie scripts. He wrote a few screen plays and made a few bucks. One day he happened to watch the Mohamed Ali vs Chuck Wepner fight and was inspired to write the story of Rocky Balboa about a nobody fighter given the “million to one opportunity” to challenge for the heavy weight title.  He sat down and wrote this script straight for 20 hours without taking a break.

Then he started pitching the script to producers. He was turned down by several studios until he found one that offered him $150,000 for the script, but Stallone had one condition he had to star in the film as Rocky. The studio said no way we are not going to spend millions to produce a film and place an unknown guy who talked funny to play the lead. They said no way Sylvester said, no deal.  His desire to play the Rocky was non-negotiable he had to have it.

Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm
Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

The energy of desire will bring you what you need

They kept upping the price they went all the way up to $450,000 and he still said no. Think of that little standing girl by the door not moving until she got her 50 cents.

Stallone would not budge his, burning desire, was to play the lead as Rocky and he had to have it. Meanwhile he was so broke that he had to sell his dog for $50 and he stole his wife’s jewelry and pawned them for money.

But just like the uncle the studio finally said yes, and the rest is history. Sylvester Stallone got his goal to be a movie star because he had to have it. The film went on to make history scoring 10 Academy awards, winning best picture and triggering one of the most financially successful movie series in history. It cost Stallone $15,000 and a part in the movie for him to buy back his dog.

My own personal story was the same, my, desire, to become an American Citizen was a, burning desire. I had to have it and I didn’t take no for an answer. I applied 3 times for permanent residence and the third time which was an act of total bravery, the immigration officer said to me it looks like you really, desire, this benefit and gave it to me!  I did really want this benefit. America was my promised land, the land of milk and honey, the land of generational increase!

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

The energy of the desire for money

When we use the word, desire, we could mean either one of 2 things the need for things, or the desire for sex, sexual desire.

Let’s take a deep dive into both of these types of, desire.

Starting with the, desire for things let’s look at the most common goal.  The, desire for money, or riches. How do we transform our, desire for money, into its physical counterpart, money, in our hands

I just finished reading the book “Think and Grow Rich” for the 5th time and the author gives us 6 steps to alchemize your, desire for money, into money in your hand.

6 steps to alchemize your desire for money

Step # 1 Name your, desire – do you want a million dollars, do you want $50,000 dollars what is the amount of money you want? It can’t be general like, I want to be rich.

Step # 2 – Select a time frame you, got to have it, by. For example, I need a million dollars in my bank account by the time I am 65 years old.

Step # 3 – What are you going to do to get this money. What service are you going to give in exchange for this money. Most people that dream of a million dollars dream of winning the lottery. This is not a bad, people win the lottery every week, but that, desire, can’t be alchemized because you are not exchanging service for pay.

If you have ever gone on YouTube, you will see literally thousands of examples of this. Every Ad is about someone selling you a course on how they made millions, and they want to share the secrets and steps with you. That is what they are offering in exchange for money.

Step # 4 – Create a plan to get this money. Let’s say you decided you want to have a million dollars in your bank account by the time you are 65 years old, and you want to make this money by selling a course on how to start an online business. This is the stage to create the plan. How are you going to find your audience, once you define your audience, how are you going to get them to click your link to your squeeze page. How will you sell your course? Will you do a webinar or workshop? Create a plan to get this money.

Step # 5 – Write it down.  A plan in your head does nothing to alchemize, desire. Writing it down gives it form. Thoughts are formless, a plan on paper starts the wheels turning to bring it from the formless to form. That is money in your hands.

Step -# 6 See yourself having your desire. See yourself with a million dollars in your bank account. How is your life different, what are your doing, who are you do it with?  If you plan to retire at 65 see yourself relaxing, traveling the world or just sipping margaritas in your back yard with a view of the mountains.

These are the steps according to Napoleon Hill to alchemize your, desire for money.

Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast
Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

Now let’s look at sexual desire

In the book “The Alchemy of Desire by Tarun J Nepal the author says that love is not the greatest glue between 2 people. Sex is.

The book talks about the day he woke up after 15 years of marriage and no longer had a, sexual desire, for his wife.

He goes through the, alchemy of desire, what makes you, desire, someone and what happens when you no longer, desire, them.

He said he was still madly in love with his wife, but his, desire, for her had died. A man needs, sexual desire, to make his body parts work. The body is the true engine of life. When a man loses, sexual desire, for a woman, when this happens women ask is it me? Is it something I did? Was it something I said? The answer is I don’t know.

We don’t know why we fall in love; we don’t know why we have, sexual desire, it just happens and when it goes away, we don’t know why. What we do know is that when sex leaves a marriage it is over.

Desire is energy. Behind every, goal, is the need to feel good! Everything you, desire, is because you think it will bring you some form of pleasure.

Transform Your Mind Podnews
Transform Your Mind Podnews

There are 7 major positive emotions.  Desire heads up the list.

The seven positive emotions are:
1. Desire
2. Faith
3. Love
4. Sex
5. Enthusiasm
6. Romance
7. Hope

Positive emotions enable the, Law of Attraction, to bring you like thoughts. Here is the process that starts with the, energy of desire.

  • You, desire, something, then you package it with positive emotion. Thoughts are energy travelling at a high rate of vibration. Thoughts that have been modified or stepped up by any of the major, positive emotions, vibrate at a much higher rate than ordinary thought.

When you think of your, goal, package it with, positive emotions, and see yourself walking in those, positive emotions, like happiness, gratitude, success. And when you tell yourself you, got to have it, the universe says okay!

Conclusion

Thanks for spending time with me today. I appreciate your time.  Tune in next week for another episode of, transformation Friday, with coach Myrna.  Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources 

How to Accelerate Your Soul Journey: Clear these Money Blocks

How to Let Your Desires Flow

How to let your, desires flow, out of you. We can become like the, Alchemist, and transform our desires and let our, desires flow, out of us when we realize that we are abundant.
Whether it’s a relationship, whether it’s a job whether it’s travel, whatever is your most intimate, desire, we’ve been teaching you, me and my co-host miss Margo Blake has been teaching you how to achieve the, Alchemy of Desire, which is the magical transformation of thoughts into manifestation.

Today I want to conclude with now that you’ve got it how
to flow with it so we’re calling this episode “How to let your, desires flow”

How to let your desires flow

  1. Knowing what you want, and once you know what you want in order to activate it you need to put some emotion to it and that is how you activate the,  Law of Attraction.
  2. Using the, energy of desire, to create something magical.
  3. Put your attention on your, desires, so that you can light your, desires, on fire!

 

How to keep what you now have

What you have in your hands need some work, you just don’t get it and then you don’t have to do anything else.
Relationships, require work, and most people have a false sense of entitlement.
They feel that it is enough that they are just there in the relationship and
all they have to do is show up or come home every night and they feel that
they’re doing something. People think that you should love them as they are
and they don’t need any work or they don’t need to make any changes.

I remember one of my ex-husband’s actually saying this to me.
A few months after we were married I asked him to take more care with his
Appearance and hygiene because he was walking around looking like he was homeless and this was his response and I quote

“This is what you bought and you can’t send it back”

A lot of people feel that hey you picked me, you bought me, you got into a relationship with me, so you must be okay with how I am, and you know you gotta put up or shut up. But that does not lead to a healthy relationship.

Your desires need work to manifest

Some ask why do I have to do all this work? I have heard people say it’s either a fit or it’s or it’s not. Why try to force a square peg in a round hole? Good question. It’s true, that there are some square pegs that definitely do not need to be forced into a round hole because it’s never gonna fit right; but we’re not talking about the obvious misfits. We’re talking about couples have some synergy. They have love but they just got to do a little bit of work.

We all know the spouse or a partner that just comes home and turn on the TV and pay his partner no attention. Those are the ones were talking about. Relationships,  needs work to keep them fresh and healthy.

When, relationships, are not fresh and healthy, couples then become roommates and it’s never more evident as when you go to your partner and you say “Hey this is not working out, I think we should we should go our separate ways and they say sure why not. They agree!

My gosh that is like a slap in your face or like someone throwing a cold bucket of water on you! That is not the response you want but; that’s what happens when the relationship Ebbs and Ebbs and nobody pays any attention and you’re now just roommates. What has happened is that your partner has emotionally checked out a long time ago and they’re just there for I don’t know, finances, the children or whatever the reason. You have to let your, desires flow.

When you break up with someone you want them
to miss you. You want them to chase you. You don’t want them to say.
“Sure, why not!”. That’s not the response that we should get when
we’re trying to terminate a relationship right?

When desire stop flowing

I remember reading Gabrielle Union’s book We’re Going To Need More Wine”  and she told the story a very sad story about the night she had a fight with her first husband. She describes this relationship as feeling like you are driving towards a brick wall yet being incapable of mashing on the breaks! Her marriage was going down the tank for a long time but she didn’t want to give up on it.

So, she told the story about a night she had a fight with her husband one of their many fights and she ran out the house in the middle of the night, four o’clock in the morning or some ridiculous time like that. She expected her husband to chase her because you know your husband should be worried about you, he’s supposed to be to protect you!

Gabriel ended up sitting by a tree and falling asleep. When she woke up in the morning she was sure that her husband was worried about her and called the cops. She expected to find cops all over her house when she got home. Instead she found her husband fast asleep.
That’s when she realized there was no hope for her marriage. Her husband’s, desire, for her had stopped flowing.

What can you do to keep desires flowing

So ladies and gentlemen, Ask yourself what do you bring to the table?
You now have the object of your affection, you won. He or she is now yours what are you going to do to keep him or her?
Ladies maybe you were a seductress and got the man interested, now what? What else you got?
One quality will bring someone to the table and even make them fall in love with you but it will not keep them. It will not hold them.

Lots of people love others, but can’t live with them.
Lot of couples divorce yet are still in love, that is because you need a pairing of attractive qualities.
A one hat trick is not going to be enough in the long run.
Ladies, You know that there is a long line of seductress waiting around the corner to entice your man.
Men if all you got, is that you are the provider, well all your woman has to do is look to the left or right and find another man with a job and he can replace you.
What is your unique paring? What make your, desires flow?

This information was the reason I went through 4 husbands.
They all had one thing but not the unique pairing I required to hold me.
I will tell you it took me almost 30 years to find it in my current relationship.
My unique paring was ambition and genuine caring. Caring for me and my daughter.
When you get this unique paring you get not only an attraction but you get an addiction.
The “and” is what makes you difficult to replace.
What I would like to do now is play for you an except from one of the relationship experts I interviewed on this show to add some context to our conversation. Ms Inez Bracy is a coach and author of Rejuvenate your life: 21 days to feel like a woman again.

Days to feel like a woman again by Inez Bracy

5 Ways to let your desires flow

1. Meditation
Your journey begins whenever you say it is. Meditation allows you to connect to your inner self and let your, desires flow, out of you.
Now is this moment if you decide this second yeah this makes perfect sense to me. I am going to do something to start changing my life.
If you decide that that’s perfect and you go into silence and into meditation, being still, whatever it is you desire to change will reveal itself to you. It will come in a way where you are given steps to take.
Now I can tell you this when that comes, it is going to come very quietly, it’s not going to be loud and boisterous, it’s going to tell you perhaps you should do this or that.

2. Celebration
The next thing that I enjoy is celebrations. Celebrate something every single day and that’s what my blissful living challenge is all about. So many times we can get caught up in everything that’s going on around us. Almost like a vortex we get just sucked into it; but if you’ve ever been around a baby, small babies or under two years old. Up to that age the baby’s just gurgles and giggles and they are just so happy.
I imagine it now.

Being blissful allows your desires to flow.  They have no reason not to be. We lose that along the way from boundaries and everything else that comes along. When we lose that we get to recapture and reclaim it because it is our birthright. Babies come in the world with it. We could to reclaim our birthright and no matter what is going on in our environment, we can still choose bliss.

3. Vibration Frequency
The more you start to celebrate, the more you lift your vibrations and The more you sing, the more you dance, the less often you will have to shovel; because your vibrational energy is at a point now where it’s attracting to you those things that are good. This level of vibration is higher so you’re going to be attracting love, you’re going to be attracting Joy, you’re going to be attracting bliss.

Yes, I talk about gratitude like that but; I guess it’s the same word be grateful for what you have regardless of what’s lacking. Don’t concentrate on what you don’t have. Concentrate on what you want. So that you can raise your vibrational frequency and attract good things.

So, yes celebrating having gratitude very important.

4. Vision
Another thing is to visualize. To live in a space of visualization to write out what it is you want. When I’m working with my clients, I say to them I desire you get to write out your vision for your life. Where do you want to live?
How does it look? How does it show up?

Sit down and see yourself in the theater of your mind. On your own stage and you’re the actor and the producer!
Write out your vision for your life.

5. Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda
We can spend our entire lives lamenting Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda and that’s all in the past. All in the past, it’s already happened or didn’t happen. Those words have no value to this present moment. They have no value to your future either.
So you should begin to eliminate woulda coulda shoulda from your vocabulary

Additional resources 

Transform Your Life: How to Use the Energy of Desire

How to Maintain a Long-Term Relationship

Maintaining long- term Relationships

 

When it comes to a, long-term relationship, with a partner or spouse, we can maintain the thrill of being in love, and deepen our feelings of passion and intimacy past the first year.  Statistics show that most, long-term relationships start out to fizzle after the first year.  So to maintain the, long-term relationship, dance you have to embrace, intimacy.

However, to do this means avoiding certain behaviors, habits, and traps that, long-term relationships,  commonly fall into the longer they stay together. Staying in, love, means taking the hard road and differentiating from negative past influences. It means challenging our own defenses and facing our, often subconscious, fears about intimacy.

Fighting for a, long-term relationship, means being stubborn about not getting in our own way of staying close to someone else.

Today on Mindset Transformation Radio and podcast, we are continuing with our series on the The Alchemy of Desire – The, Long-Term Relationship, Dance.

My co -host for this series is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste Intimacy Coach and, I am a Mindset Coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “The Alchemy of Desire and Intimacy”

What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.

We all Desire to be in loving fulfilling, long-term relationships, with our partners, our children, our friends and co-workers. We desire to have successful careers, some of us desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy, and today we are going to touch on the desire for flow in our, long-term relationship, and not ebb.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

 

The Dance of Intimacy

Anyone in a, long-term relationship, knows the, relationship, dance well. It took me a while to understand this dance of, intimacy. I walked out of my first marriage at age 21 declaring boldly “I am no longer in love with my husband and I refuse to live in a loveless marriage at age 21.” After 4 marriages I now know that relationships EBB and FLOW and that we must work at, intimacy Erotic love, turns into, Agape love. Passion and desire EBB and FLOW.

In all my, long-term relationships, fighting and then having, make up sex, was usually the shock than rejuvenated the, relationship.

In the beginning of anything there is more energy just as electrify is more powerful at the source, feelings are more powerful when they are new.

As feelings change and familiarity sets in the, intimacy, dance begins. Just as you have to practice the waltz on the dance floor, in a similar way you must practice your, long-term relationship, dance in the bedroom.

It is important to understand why you and your partner connected in the first place and why you disconnected.

Since all relationships begin within, the scenery out there is the scenery in here.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

You have to love yourself first in a long-term relationship

You can’t give away what you don’t have. You have to be, love, before you can give away, love. So the first step when you become aware of the, EBB and Flow, in your relationship is to take an inventory of  your, self love.

In our first episode I introduced the book The Alchemy of Desire. In this book the lovers were passionate and couldn’t keep their hands off each other, then life happened and, intimacy, veined.

Every, long-term relationship, faces this junction of lack of, desire.  Once, long-term relationships, become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again. To the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy  if a, long-term relationship, is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity attention and nurture of earlier times is essential.

Relationship Advice How to Water your Long-term relationship

Here is some, relationship advice, In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and sunlight if they are to thrive.

We water our, long-term relationships, by showing interest in our partners. We shine light on our, relationships, by smiling and being genuinely happy to see our partners.

I was at a stand-up comedy show with Mike Epps a few years back and he made a joke about how his wife would meet him at the door with a beer and loving embrace when they were first married, and now she shrugs and says oh it’s you!

I am genuinely happy to see my husband walk through the door and when he calls me during the day. I let him know that I appreciate him thinking about me.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
https://tunein.com/podcasts/Motivational/Transform-your-Mind-p1102799/TuneIn Radio

The marriage relationship is an important piece of the, long term relationship, dance

Myrna – Margo what is your take on the, long-term relationship, dance? Personally you have mentioned several times that your, long-term relationships, end after 10 years. What does the dance look like to you?

Margo – I don’t know why but my, long term relationships, always seem to last only 10 years.  The men leave me.

Myrna – Looking back can you see the point when the, long-term relationship, ebb resulted in a break? How can anyone listening understand  that ebb into a flow?

Myrna – What are some tips to keep Desire flowing instead of ebbing?

  • spend quality time together
  • be open to new experiences – if your partner likes to do something be open to new
  • show your love, don’t hold back
  • keep your identity as an individual
  • don’t be defensive in communication, be open in communication
  • be generous, give as you would want to receive

Understand that there is Eff and Flow in all Long-term relationships

If you find yourself in, Ebb and flow, should you panic or understand that is the flow of life that what goes up must come down.

It is fact that whenever you lean in to a relationship the other person leans out.  That is the make up of, long-term relationships, there is, ebb and flow.

Have you been dealt some bad cards in life? Understand Ebb and flow of life 

Then I invite you to an afternoon of learning and inspiration on “How to deal with the cards you have been dealt in Life”
This event will be at the Main Broward Library at 100 South Andrews Ave , 6 th floor, Fort Lauderdale, FL
on Saturday May 12 from 2.00 to 4.30 pm
Come out and be a part of our studio audience.
The first 5 guests will get a FREE autographed copy of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
This is a book signing and a live talk radio show airing locally on WDJY 99.1 FM Metro Atlanta
If you need more information, email me at info@myhelps.us

Additional Resources

5 Mindset Shifts For Couples to Have Fantastic Relationships

How does Infidelity Affect Intimacy In Marriages

infidelity in marriages

 

What happens when there is, infidelity, in your marriage? Statistics show that as much of 70% of men and women cheat on their spouses and committed partners.

Today on WDJY 99.1 FM straight talk radio our topic is “How does, Infidelity, affect Intimacy and Desire for our Partner ” We all Desire to be in loving fulfilling, relationships, with our partners, our children, our friends and co-workers. We desire to have successful careers, some of us desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy, and today we are going to touch on our desire for our partners to be faithful to their commitment to us.

Introduction to Infidelity in Marriages

My co -host for this episode is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste Intimacy Coach and, I am a Mindset Coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “How does, Infidelity, affect Intimacy and Desire for our partner”

What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.

The dictionary calls Alchemy a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination.

I will tell you from personal experience that there is nothing that transforms an intimate relationship into something magical, like the surety that your partner will not break his vows or commitment to you, that he or she loves you unconditionally and would not look at another. But how do we, survive infidelity, when it happens?

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

How to Survive Infidelity

Not too many of us can walk in that space, being able to swear that our partners would not cheat on us.

In a previous blog, we talked about how to manifest the desires of your heart. The first step is knowing what you want. The second step is adding emotions to it.

In our second blog on the topic of, infidelity,  we talked on how to use the energy of desire to create something magical.

In our 3 blog we Used the Power of Attention to light our desires afire after, infidelity.

If you missed those 3 episodes, please download on then on iTunes, Sticher or TuneIn podcast.

Today we want to turn up the heat another notch as we talk about the controversial subject of, infidelity, and how it changes Intimacy.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Relationship Coaching

Margo is an, Intimacy coach, with One Taste. So let’s start off our discussion today by having her weigh in on the conversation.

Illustrations of an intense desire for intimacy

UK Artist Ben Newman brings a different kind of taste to satirical art. This is sultry and saucy at the same time.
His boldness in combining sexy female characters with robots present in the fantasy world is amazing with an intense desire for intimacy.

The solution to infidelity is not always divorce 

Myrna – Margo as an, intimacy coach, how has your clients dealt with, infidelity?

Believe it or not, most people decide to stay in their marriages after, infidelity. The important thing is to address the issues that might have lead to the, infidelity, and get the necessary help to recover.

Infidelity in marriages, Divorce isn’t always the solution, particularly when the unfaithful spouse is remorseful and devoted to changing. Here are some things you need to know if you are dealing with the fallout of, infidelity, in your marriage.

  • Betrayal is in the eye of the beholder.
  • Infidelity is not a marital deal breaker
  • Most affairs end – a man rarely leaves his wife for the other woman
  • You are not alone
  • It helps to get help

How have you dealt with, infidelity?

I have dealt with, infidelity, several times in my life. I have dealt with, infidelity in marriage, and, infidelity, in, love relationships.

When I was younger and more emotional I would leave immediately. As I matured I seek to understand first and love unconditionally.

Some therapists believe that, infidelity, destroys the fabric of a, relationship, which cannot be repaired. These therapists declare, marriages, dead on arrival but, I believe it is up the the individuals.

What happens when Desire goes looking somewhere else?

History will show that men don’t need a reason to cheat on their partner. But for this discussion we will look at the Lack of Desire as the reason for the, infidelity.

What can we do when desire dries up and we no longer feel the spark for our partners?

Men like uncertainty, they like variety. Most men who cheat don’t want to leave home. They love their spouse and like the security of home but they seek adventure.

I was just reading the unauthorized biography of Angelina Jolie    and how his, infidelity, had consequences he did not anticipate. John Voight was tempted by great sex and cheated on her mother who promptly left him when Angelina was 6 months old. John Voight had no interest in leaving his wife and 2 kids; but the lure of exciting sex was something he could not pass up. That dalliance had far reaching consequences for his children and himself. He would be seeking a family for decades to come.

But men don’t have to go outside the home for exciting sex. As women we could bring the excitement and adventure to our bedroom. We could bring the feeling of having an affair to our bedroom.

Whatever you are doing now, we could do something different. If you always make love with all your clothes on, in the bed with the lights out; then start making love on the couch, fully clothed, with all the lights on!

Become the mistress. Meet in a hotel, set up dates, role play and dress up, send sexually explicit text messages.

I remember a friend of mine who divorced her husband because she found a video his mistress sent to him. That is how the women are stealing our men, they excite them.

What happens when women go looking for love

Okay, enough of the men having unmet needs and looking for excitement in the bedroom. What about our unmet needs?
Women have unmet need as well and are catching up to men as they too are looking outside the home for fulfillment of their desires.

Myrna – Margo, how can women communicate their unmet desires to their partners?

Margo – Before women go looking for love in all the wrong places, they should learn to become the mistress and turn up the marital sex. They can do this by role playing and other sex games.

How do we as women deal with infidelity of spouse or partners?

There are several schools of thought about this topic.
If you want things to change, you have to change.
Maybe you are a nag, maybe you don’t like sex, maybe you take no pride in your appearance, maybe you have trust issues, maybe you are boring.
You have to know yourself to grow yourself.

Ask yourself what have I invested into this relationship? Are you a taker or do you contribute to the peace and happiness of your man?

I remember Jennifer Gardner saying after she experienced the, infidelity, from Ben Afflec . She determined that it was not Ben Afflec’s role to make her happy. He cheated on her with the nanny. She was taking stock in what she brought to the table and understood it was not someone’s else role to make her happy. Happiness comes from our true self.
You can’t give away what you don’t have.

If you found this podcast inspiring, please subscribe and leave a review by clicking the link below.
iTunes Podcast

Additional Resources

How to Flow with Desire