How Does Grief Affect Mental Health

Samantha Ruth Grief

Grief, is like going to a movie where you’re watching a horror movie and the next person to you is watching a comedy. It was poignant for me to understand that somebody’s life can be storming and the next door neighbor has sunshine.

My guest today is Samantha Ruth, grief expert and we are going to be talking on the topic “What does, grief, and, mental health, have in common.” I know that we’re in a time where a lot of us are experiencing, grief, – our loved ones are dying left and right. We’re in a place where we can’t really socialize, so we’ve got a lot of, grief, and, mental health, issues come in. Samantha will shed some light on how to ease some of the pain and suffering that accompanies, grief.

Download full interview here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9673108-how-does-grief-affect-mental-health.mp3?download=true

Brief bio of Samantha Ruth

Samantha Ruth is a Transformational Psychologist, speaker, best-selling author, and founder of Griefhab, a 24/7 support community for anyone who has experienced a loss. Sam helps people around the world turn their pain into their power by guiding them to be their true selves.

Her mission is to change the way the world views, mental health, so people can openly speak about whatever issues they have, and get the help they not only need, but deserve without fear of judgment, labels, and repercussions.

Sam understands what it’s like to feel overwhelmed, lost, stuck, and alone. After unexpectedly losing her husband Jim, Sam felt like her life had been shattered into tiny, unrecognizable pieces. It took this experience for her to learn how to tune out the noise of everything and everybody else and focus on listening to herself. Her favorite quote:

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass … it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

Helping others through their grief

Myrna: Can you share your story of losing your husband and how did that tragedy help you achieve the purpose of helping others through, grief. A lot of times, I firmly believe that God gives you a test so you can have a testimony. God puts you through the storm so you can help other people and that’s obviously what your story is turned out to be. Now, can you share a little of it with us?

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Transform your Mind Podbean

Samantha: My husband was everything me. I met him when I was 24 years old and living in Michigan. We were together for a few years, but we were still young, silly and career driven. So, we went our separate ways. During that time, he moved to Colorado and we reconnected in June of 2013. We were married the following August and he passed away unexpectedly just a little over three years later. I had left my family and my career. I was just completely lost and had no idea what to do next.

Grief is like watching a horror movie while someone else is watching a comedy

Myrna: There’s a, grief, story I heard a few months back. This woman told the story that one day, ( she was a psychologist) she  and her husband were going to pick up their son from the Airport. He’s wasn’t her child, it was her husband’s son and he was turning 18 the next day. They were going to go pick him up from the Airport and she decided to walk her dog before they left. While she walked her dog, her husband said he was going to jump in the river for a quick swim (that’s something he did every day).

While she was walking her dog, she suddenly heard him scream. She didn’t pay much attention to it, because she knows he was a strong swimmer. When she heard him scream again, she decided to go to investigate. She saw her husband clutching a tree in the middle of the river, apparently there was some kind of a wild current that day and her husband was trying to hang on to the tree, but the current was too strong and he was swept away.

She actually physically saw him drowned right in front of her eyes. Her whole world shattered, she was overcome with, grief. The hardest thing she had to do was telling his son that his father died in his 18th birthday, knowing that he would never be able to celebrate his birthday again.

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iHeart Radio

Grief is like a black cloud

Until that story, I never really understood, grief. She said when you have, grief, it’s like you don’t have sun anymore, but your neighbor has sun. She said she would get up in the morning and while she had this black cloud of, grief, her neighbor would be getting up and going to get his morning paper and clueless of what’s going on at his next door neighbor!

Grief, is like going to a movie where you’re watching a horror movie and the next person to you is watching a comedy. It was poignant for me to understand that somebody’s life can be storming and the next door neighbor has sunshine.

Myrna: You said your, grief, was like your world shattered into tiny pieces? Can you expand on how you handled that?

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Grief is invisible

Samantha: I also want to add that, grief, is also invisible. We don’t have a cast over a broken arm or something that people can see. We live in this world that avoids the uncomfortable conversations.  The first year after my husband died was a complete blur to me.  I was in deep, depression. If you told me we went to Japan together, I would trust your memory over mine. I went through the motions, I survived.

I am a psychologist trained in, trauma, and there was pressure. I don’t know if your friend who’s also a psychologist experienced that, but there was pressure to bounce back quicker than anyone else would, because it’s what I do and I couldn’t or wouldn’t do that. I had to find my own way. There were sunny houses all over the place, but I felt like I lived in a forest.  I had to figure out how to get through the maze all by myself.  The world expects you to get back to work, your family, everybody’s pulling from a different direction.

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Self care is important in grief and loss

I made a conscious decision because I was in so much pain, I had to take care of myself.  I went in a direction that was unfamiliar to me and to everyone else, which made more noise, but, self care, was the way through.

So, to anyone struggling with, grief,  I encourage you to find the strength to listen to the voice inside your head, don’t listen to the others.

Myrna: You’re able to take the knowledge that you learned from going through that traumatic experience to help others through, grief.  You founded the company called Griefhab,  can you tell us about your company.

Samantha: I am on a mission to change the way the world views, grief, and, mental health, because my experience showed me how similar the two were.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Grief and loss because of the Coronavirus pandemic

Myrna: We’re on in some unprecedented times with the, Coronavirus pandemic. How does your company help other experiencing, grief and loss, because of the, coronavirus pandemic?

Samantha: Tuning out the noise and not letting people expectations like – “Hey, you should have gotten over it by now.”  What I mean, and my advice as a psychologist is, you need to have a support system and that’s important. Grief, can be isolating and you can feel different and lonely and there are people who get it.  The pandemic has uprooted millions of people’s lives and you are not alone.

Talking really does help even if somebody is just listening and they’re not actually physically doing talking, it does help. Talking is the way through, grief. Please, loved ones and friends, be patient with us. It might be uncomfortable for you, but it is the only way we will heal.

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What does grief and mental illness have in common?

Myrna: What does, grief, and, mental illness,  issues have in common? What are the, stages of grief, and how does it affect your, mental health?

Samantha: I do not believe that you can grieve without, anxiety, and, depression. Going through the grieving process, there are such stigmas around both. I’ve lived with the world of, mental health, stigmas when I was  early in healing journey. I learned that people treat someone grieving the same way as they treat someone with a, mental illness; they don’t know how to act around them and they don’t know what to say. I felt all of these stigmas and all I had done was lose my husband.

What, grief, and, mental health,  have most in common is that they can be isolating and alienating. That’s the reason I am trying to make noise and let the world know that everything we know is backwards. We have to talk about it, we have to lean on each other and the stigmas are backwards.  We need each other. I am one voice and anyone that’s willing to share their personal stories by raising their hand and saying I am not okay, even just saying “I’m having a bad day”, will erase the stigma.

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Depression and anxiety is a stage of grief

People don’t know we’re grieving. It’s invisible, mental health. They can’t see, depression, or, anxiety.

Samantha: You can’t grieve without going through, anxiety, and, depression, it is one of the, stages of grief.

Myrna: They also say that there are, seven stages of grief. So, where does the, anxiety, and, depression, fit in?

Samantha: Well, I mean there’s pressure to attend A, B, C, D and E immediately after, grief and loss.  I haven’t spoken to anyone who has experienced, grief and loss, that doesn’t have some sort of, anxiety, about going back to work or attending an event, even if it’s virtual.

It’s a tidal wave of, anxiety, it comes and it goes and it doesn’t end. You get through in the beginning, it’s like you’re drowning and you come up for air and you find a buoy or somebody to hold on to (that’s one of your support system). That’s how it is for a while, then eventually you can swim and float and then all of a sudden, a wave comes out of nowhere and knocks you down and it could be a month later or a year later or even a decade later.

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Is there an end to grief?

Myrna: As a psychologist, is there a way to do something to prevent the, grief, coming back like a decade later?

Samantha: It doesn’t get better, it gets different and that’s why people expect holidays, anniversaries and certain life events to be difficult days. But it could just be next Tuesday and it could be a difficult day for no reason. The good things you experience are met with sadness, because the person you want to share it with the most isn’t physically here, so, grief, is always there.

Something would knocked me to my knees in the beginning and I would be down and out and I would barely get myself back together, and then something else would come and knock me right back to my knees (it’s not like that now). If something happens, I can cope and get through it. It’s still painful, but I have learned how to navigate so that I’m not back down on my knees.

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Grief vs trauma

I went to the University of Michigan and I can’t perform the same way I did, my brain has been permanently altered because of the, trauma, of grief.

Myrna: That is very interesting, trauma. They call it big “T” – traumas and little “T” – traumas. Now, what you’re saying someone with, grief, should take it one day at a time. Work with the present moment, that is how everything changes. You can’t go back into the past, you can’t go into the future, all changes happen in the present moment.

Myrna: Let’s say that I have somebody that’s going through the grieving process, what are some of the things that I can do to help? This is very important because I remember what you shouldn’t say to somebody. What can we say or do for someone experiencing, grief?

How to Help with Grief

Samantha:  Say “I’m here for you”. Don’t ask “what do you need”, is a very stressful question. We don’t know the answer, so just be there for us. Give someone experiencing, grief and loss, multiple choice questions, not essay – say I’m going to the store and I’m getting you stuff. Do you want bread or milk?  I can answer that question.

Myrna: Yes, the same woman who lost her husband in the river said that people came to her home and helped her clean her house and cooked for her, because these are things that you have no interest in doing during the grieving process, but nobody ever really thinks about that.

Samantha: Grief, is a tough journey and something each one of us is going to experience in our lives because death is something that happens and it’s unavoidable. Not everybody lives until they’re 95, there’s going to be sudden death at 30s, 20s or whatever. Where people don’t expect it and that’s when it’s harder, but we’re all going to be touched with it.

Mental Health stigmas

Myrna: How can we help break some of the, mental health stigmas?

Samantha: I think it’s similar to, grief, I think by talking about it, we break the stigma.   When I tell people I have, anxiety, a lot of people ask questions because they don’t know. Telling one person or starting one conversation helps break the stigma of, mental illness.  It doesn’t have to be going on the news and telling the world, but we won’t change things if we continue to hide it and make it like it’s something bad.

Myrna: Tell us about your book, why you wrote it, what do you want the reader to walk away with at the end of reading it?

Permission Granted to Grieve

Samantha: My second book was called “Permission Granted to Grieve”. I think it’s important that the world understands that you have to grieve, you have to heal, you can’t ignore it. Everything I’m saying is the same for, grief, and, mental health.

My upcoming book is called “Ruthless”. My last name is Ruth and I lost my husband. I became ruthless, but ruthless is perceived a negative. So, redefining ruthless is my journey. I want people to see negative things as strengths and perceived weaknesses as advantages. I’m taking this negatively charged word and making it okay.

Myrna: Tell us about your company Griefhab and your 24/7 support community. How can someone get in touch with you? What is your website? Tell us how you help people at Griefhab?

Samantha: There are two elements to Griefhab; one – it’s 24/7 support community. You don’t have to wait until your next appointment to talk to somebody. You don’t have to struggle, there’s always support available and that’s a free community on Facebook. You can go there on FacebookGriefhab or it’s on my website www.samantharuth.com.

Conclusion

There’s no judgment, this is about healing your way and asking the questions that you don’t feel safe asking anywhere else. People who feel that they need more support like I did, like sending out the death certificates and dealing with the creditors and all the things like getting the light bulb changed, finding somebody to get your groceries and make things, so you don’t have to do anything.

I do all of that in addition to working with you. When I had to present a death certificate, it knocked me down. So, I want other people to know those are tasks that we can do for you, so you can just heal.

Myrna: Thanks for tuning in to the Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life radio podcast and television show. If you’ve not done so yet, please rate and review us on iTunes so that we can get this message out to a wider audience. Until next time, blessings.

Additional Resources

Understanding Mental Illness – My Bipolar Life

 

Entrepreneurship: Tips for Women Battling Mental Illness

Entrepreneurship - Tips for mental illness

Entrepreneurship, is the process of setting up a business. For, entrepreneurs, battling, mental illness, controlling their, emotions, is their superpowers, when it comes to building a business of our dreams.

My guest today is Scout Sobel. She is the author of the “Emotional Entrepreneur” and we are going to be having a very interesting conversation today on, mental health, specifically the, mental health, of entrepreneurs.  As you consider, entrepreneurship,  you need to understand how our, emotions, guide you in everyday life.

Download and Listen to the full interview here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9479167-entrepreneurship-tips-for-women-battling-mental-illness.mp3?download=true

Bio

Scout experienced her first depressive episode at the age of 14 and was formally diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, at the age of 20. Living with a, mental illness, brought an onslaught of symptoms: anxiety, hypomania, depression, catatonia, psychosis, and, suicidal ideation.

Her perception of her life weighed down on her so poignantly that she dropped out of college, could not hold a job or internship, was hospitalized, experimented with medleys of prescription medication, and went through two outpatient programs.

One day her husband (then boyfriend) looked at her lovingly and said, “I don’t care if you’re depressed. If you are depressed and hopeful, I can be in this relationship. If you are depressed and hopeless, I can’t do this with you.” 

Book Emotional Entrepreneur

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Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

That was the moment her life changed. She started infusing her life with hope and began to take radical responsibility for her emotional state. And after intense, self-development, work – support groups, holistic healing modalities, prayer, routines, and physical wellness, she found, entrepreneurship. Through, entrepreneurship, she learned to unconditionally love her life through the pain, challenges, and celebrations. She learned that she wanted to be here.

Today, Scout is the Founder and CEO of Scout’s Agency, a female-focused PR agency that specializes in getting women as guests on, podcasts.

Her debut book, The Emotional Entrepreneur, provides the, mindset, and, emotional tools, she learned from managing her, mental illness, that have helped her succeed in business and, entrepreneurship.

Entrepreneurship and mental illness

Myrna: I want to start off with something you say in your book “The Emotional Entrepreneur”, you said that our, emotions, are our guiding superpowers when it comes, entrepreneurship, and building a business of our dreams. How did your, emotions, guide you to become an, entrepreneur?

Scout: Very shortly after I was diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, my husband said those sentences that changed my life and I started infusing hope into my days. Which beautifully led me to faith through that process of showing up to support groups, writing gratitude lists etc. My gratitude list and my journal, every single morning reading every self-help book Barnes and Noble had to offer.

I was sitting with my friend at a coffee shop and we were looking through an Indie magazine (I love fashion magazines). I just looked at her and I asked do you want to start a magazine with me? She said yes, let’s do it. We were going to print it at Kinko’s and pass it out to our friends for free. This was going to be a borderline arts and crafts project.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

What does it mean to be an Entrepreneur

Suddenly, something in my mind just flipped and immediately I went home. I got the Instagram handle, I searched for printers in the area and then set up five appointments with all the best printers in 50 mile vicinity. I went to see them and then they quoted me ten thousand dollars. I said to myself, ‘I have to find ten thousand dollars’.

Then, I started a kick starter campaign and fast forward, our second issue was picked up by national distributor and sold in newsstands across the country. I was 22 at the time.

The third issue had musician Halsey on the cover and I woke up to an email from Barnes and Noble asking if they could distribute my magazine as well.

So, in that three-issue process of, entrepreneurship, and  running that magazine, I went from the girl that had to pull herself out of bed, to becoming an, entrepreneur, who was in charge of everything. It was like walking through quicksand.   I couldn’t deal with responsibility. I became the girl that over functioned. I became the girl that went the extra mile in such a short time.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Becoming an Entrepreneur

I found out that, entrepreneurship, was two things that I felt:

  1. Entrepreneurship, has the same highs and lows as, bipolar disorder.  My mind could really understand the emotional pattern behind it.
  2. I was unable to show up for the responsibilities in my life, because I always had a psychiatrist note that could excuse me.  I didn’t have to go to friend’s birthday party because I had a, mental illness.  All my friends would understand or try to understand etc.

I really used my, mental illness, as a, crutch, to avoid responsibility and avoid showing up in my life in the ways that I really needed to, but when it came to, entrepreneurship, there was no note a psychiatrist could write out because I couldn’t tap out of it .

If I tapped out, the whole thing would fall apart, so it was almost this contradictory paradox.  I had to have all the responsibility on my shoulders in order for me to show up, I had to be completely present in every aspect.   So, I found in the beginning of, entrepreneurship, that I showed up because I had the freedom to create what I wanted to create and I couldn’t call in sick, that didn’t work anymore.

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The entrepreneurship path leads to happiness

Myrna: I also believe that, happiness, is working towards a goal and there is no better goal than when you’re working for yourself and you’re trying to grow your business as an, entrepreneur.  I also like your confession that you were using the doctor’s notes as a cop-out in life.

A lot of people do that, they lead with their illnesses. It doesn’t even have to be, mental illness, it could be a physical illness and they lead with that. Oh! I can’t do this because of this, mental illness, it’s a cop-out because we know being in the inspirational space, that people overcome challenges all the time.

They defy odds and do amazing things with no hands and no legs.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Are you addicted to your mental illness

Scout: I think it’s important. I don’t know if it’s touched upon enough and it’s something I say that can ruffle feathers or maybe trigger some people. I was addicted to my, depression. My, depression, my anxiety and my, mental illness, while it kept me in such distress and pain and chaos and crying fits and, anxiety attacks.

It kept me in my comfort zone, it kept me in the predictable, it kept me in what my body was used to. So, in many ways, it held me back from my healing because it said “no, that freedom out there, that’s unknown – (we don’t know what’s going to happen over there).

Let’s just stay in the pain so we can predict what’s happening, we know how this is going to go. It prevented me and allowed me not go through my formative early 20s not assuming responsibility for my emotional state.

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Taking responsibility for mental illness

So my, mental illness, was very real and tangible, and loves to visit me at times when I would prefer it not to.

There was a lot of moments and I think most of my suffering came from the fact that I allowed myself to play the victim.  I blamed the cards that I was dealt on my despair and suffering. The minute I realized and took responsibility and accepted that these were the cards that I was dealt, I started to use my emotional landscape as my superpower.

Today, ten years after being diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, and  16 years after having my first depressive episode, I feel wildly safe in my, emotions.

I think they are my biggest teachers, mentors and guides. They have helped me with, entrepreneurship. They are the reasons I am successful with Scott’s Agency. I also started recognizing that when I got into, entrepreneurship, this game was a, personal development, game. It wasn’t a play, it wasn’t a market strategy (those are all parts of it) but at the end of the day, successful, entrepreneurs, are successful because of their emotional strength and their, mindset.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
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What does it mean to be an entrepreneur

I saw that so many women who had the resources, the education, the access to funds, are not getting into the game of their dreams because of self-doubt, because of fear and anxiety. That’s when I woke up. My, bipolar disorder, primed me to walk through emotional hell, to gather the strength and the tools that I could then apply to living out my purpose (which is running Scouts Agency, writing books etc).

So, once I realized that it was the emotional landscape that was holding us all back from success, that’s when the light bulb went off in my brain.

Myrna: Yes, it’s true our, emotions, dictate the quality of our lives which is basically why I named this show “Transform your Mind to transform your life” because if you believe that you can, you can. And if you have this, crutch, that says you were born poor or you were born black or you were born with a, mental illness, or you were born with whatever, crutch, that you want to tell yourself, that prevents you from moving forward, and your life is not going to be transformed.

Scout: Everyone can find a, crutch, no matter who they are, no matter if their life is technically great on paper or technically really unfortunate circumstances, we can all easily rely on a, crutch.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Entrepreneurship and the emotional ride of uncertainty

Myrna: How can, entrepreneurs, handle the emotional rollercoaster and what kind of, mindset shifts, that they need in order to become a successful, entrepreneur? You talked about your purpose and the fact that your, bipolar disorder, with your highs and lows allowed you to have the emotional strength to become an, entrepreneur.

Let’s talk about the, entrepreneur, that is doing everything. What kind of advice would you give to that, entrepreneur, (female) let’s say that wants to start a magazine or a hair salon or something and has to deal with all the aspects of, entrepreneurship, and the uncertainty?

Scout:  First cultivate the belief that you’re safe in your, emotions, and then unconditionally accept that uncomfortable, emotions, are highly part of this game and that you will survive them.

That you are safe in your, emotions, and that you can reduce the suffering above the pain. What I mean by that is if you can limit the, anxiety, about the, anxiety, or the sadness about the, depression, we can work with the root cause.  Uncomfortable, emotions, and really understand what it’s trying to tell us, that makes you an, entrepreneur.

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Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

Don’t expect entrepreneurship to be fun

So, before you jump into the game, understand that you’re going to be juggling all the hats.

  • You’re going to be the customer service expert,
  • The graphic designer,
  • You’re going to be the social media manager
  • The sales manager.
  • The website designer

All these roles that you have to figure out.  On top of that you’re going to have to walk through the uncomfortable discomfort that comes with that responsibility. So, know and accept that’s part of the game.

It’s really suiting up and really pulling in from your personal power and strength. It’s not expecting that, entrepreneurship, is going to be easy, fun and glamorous.  That you’re always in alignment, you’re flowing with creative ideas and your courses are selling out with six figure launches automatically etc. The fires will come more often than the successes.

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Entrepreneurship is living from the end

Myrna: As a Lifecoach, I understand what you’re trying to say, but it’s a very hard pill to swallow, because people go into, entrepreneurship, with the dream of riches and wealth and they don’t necessarily go into it thinking of the fires. They understand it’s hard work, but it’s very hard to smile and say I’m going to walk through the fire.  Tony Robbins, make you do the fire walk and I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s setting you up for that you can walk through the fire and not get burnt.

I follow Dwayne Dwyer and he talks about, living from the end. So let’s say that you become an, entrepreneur, for a certain end purpose or end game.  When you’re walking through the fire, if you can see that end then it will give you the strength in order to not chuck it in and to move forward.

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Entrepreneurs need to prioritize their mental health

You said that every, entrepreneur, should prioritize their, mental health, but not every, entrepreneur, is going to have, depression, or, bipolar disorder. However, mental health, covers a gamut of things.  So what’s your advice on that?

Scout: When I wrote the ‘Emotional Entrepreneur’, it was really not for the mentally ill. I think the beauty of the conversation about, mental illness, that it is coming to the forefront in the last few years.  When I was diagnosed 10 years ago, no one is talking about, mental illness. Now the conversation is beautifully being opened. In the conversation about, mental illness, being open, the conversation about everyone’s daily, mental health, is being opened and that’s really the people I want to talk to.

All of my messages are not for those who struggle with, mental illness, it’s for those who have, mental health, which is all of us. I think, for too long we’ve been told that if we don’t have a, mental illness, then there’s nothing we get to prioritize. When our experience here on earth is based on how we relate to our, emotions, and many times we act in spite of our, emotions, when our, higher self, knows better or our, higher self, would have had a different plan for us.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Mental health is not only for people diagnosed with mental illness

So, if you’re an, entrepreneur, and you are listening and you’re like; ‘well, I’m going to go through fires, I’m going to go through ups and downs, I’m going to have to figure out whatever messed up our product or makes a client unhappy. Now, I got to figure out how to make payroll and all of those things you might as well emotionally feel safe during that process because your business is going to soar if you are emotionally sound and strong within.

Myrna: I’m glad you’re saying that, mental health, is not necessary for people that have been diagnosed with, mental illness, but it’s very important to keep your, mental health, strong.

One of the things that I love about your bio is that you talk about your prescription medication for the people that have been diagnosed with, mental illness. Can you share your journey?

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

Prescription medication for mental illness

Scout: This month celebrates one year of being, psychiatry medication, free and I don’t say that to promote the stigma or to promote anyone to go off their medication. I simply say because, psychiatry medication, got me to a point where I was able to go off them and then flourish in my life. Though, there were a lot of dark moments with me and my trial and error for medication.

If anyone is listening to this, and he’s considering, psychiatry medication, for a, mental illness, diagnosis or, mental health, diagnosis, and he’s feeling ashamed around that, I really invite you to end that shame and that stigma. There are times in our lives where we need to take things to physically and mentally treat our illnesses, our bodies, our spirits and souls etc. I never felt shame around taking the, psychiatric medication.

I really invite you to not passively wait for, psychiatry medication, to come save your mental state, but to really recognize that it’s just a little boost and the rest you really have to show up for. The idea that, psychiatry medication, is going to heal you completely, for me was very helpful because I wasn’t just passively playing the victim and waiting for something else to take over me and heal me. Medication really does a very small percentage of your healing for you.

Psychiatry medication is just the launching pad to healing

Psychiatry medication, can provide that launching pad, but really get ready for yourself to show up for you. I would say to really be your own advocate in the psychiatry office, ask about the symptoms, ask about what’s coming off the medication, ask about the withdrawals, do I have to ease off for two months?

I say this because I was put on a, psychiatry medication, where I was not given the correct information about the withdrawals and it was a really traumatic experience for me. So, it’s really good to ask about the side effects.

The Emotional Entrepreneur

Myrna: Can you tell us about your book “The Emotional Entrepreneur”? You said it was not written for people that have been diagnosed specifically with, mental illness, but to help people prioritize, mental health.  I like that play on words. What do you want the readers to walk away after reading your book?

Scout: The Emotional Entrepreneur is really the emotional guidebook for, entrepreneurship. If you are someone who wants to start an agency, a podcast, a product based business, a life coaching, career etc; you might be purchasing books on how to manage clients. You might even be purchasing books on how to hit six figures, you might be purchasing books on how to close more sales, deals, how to brand your website etc, this book is the emotional part of all of that. This is going to be your guidebook towards navigating fear, combating impostor syndrome and enjoying yourself along the way.

By celebrating small wins and believing in yourself, it’s going to help you reframe your relationship to your, anxiety, as you get started. It’s going to make you understand that, entrepreneurship, and starting your own business is the biggest personal development game, and you get to be emotionally supported in that.

Transform your mind PTWWN TV
PTWWN TV

Conclusion

Myrna: How can readers connect with you on social media or get a copy of your book?

Scout: You can follow me on Instagram ‘@scoutsobel’, that’s the best place to connect with me. In my bio, there are links to Scout’s Agency, my podcast and you can buy the book there. You can as well get the book on Amazon when you search for “The Emotional Entrepreneur by Scott Sobel”.

Myrna: One of my biggest takeaways about, depression, was reading the book; “The Work” by Byron Katie. I mean I have never actually heard of a, depression, like she went through.  She said that she was so depressed that she had to put herself in a halfway house, and she laid on the floor and couldn’t get up and couldn’t move until one day she decided to change her inner dialogue and change her mindset.

Thank you guys all supporting the Transform Your Mind podcast, please leave us a review on iTunes if you found this content inspirational.

Additional Resources

Understanding Mental Illness – My Bipolar Life

 

Dealing with Anxiety Disorder after Addiction

Addiction and recovery side effects can include, anxiety disorder, and panic attacks. In this episode Dr Tra Ahia, Psychologist offers treatment options for dealing with, anxiety disorder.

I was listening to a podcast last week and the guest was talking about her, anxiety disorder, and her story triggered a memory of a personal acquaintance who was a heroin addict and developed, anxiety disorder.

My first introduction to Anxiety Disorder

In the late 80’s I was working in sales and my boss’s daughter was an, Heroin addict. We were close enough that she would tell me what it was like being addicted to Heroin. She told me how she would cook the heroin until it became a liquid and then she would shoot it into her neck because she got a more immediate high. She showed me the holes in her neck which she covered up with scarves. Her father who was wealthy gave her a car and she sold that car for peanuts to get money to buy Heroin.

She attempted to go to rehab several times; but always walked out because she said they just left you in a room to scream in pain. She said the pain of withdrawal was unbearable. She then started a methadone treatment which is a synthetic version of Heroin.  They reduced the dose of the methadone gradually to wean your body off Heroin. But what I want to get to was her, anxiety disorder. She got such bad, panic attacks, her gut was always in knots, that she couldn’t leave the house without her safe person, her boyfriend. I don’t remember if he used drugs; but when the relationship ended she was unable to leave to leave the house for weeks, not even to buy groceries. Then she was too anxious to start dating. She stressed about some man asking “Can I touch your boobs” I don’t know what became of her; but I think of her often.

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Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean

What happens to the brain with Anxiety Disorder

If you have an, anxiety disorder – Your brain raises ahead to predict the future. The guest on the podcast had, anxiety disorder, and she described it as “life fright” or , agoraphobia, She said to think about Stage fright. You feel nervous, you think you are going to freeze up or faint, you start to sweat, you think people are going to laugh at you etc. well people with, anxiety disorder, or, agoraphobia, feel like that all the time.

They have, agoraphobia, talking to strangers, checking out at the grocery store, at the bank, going for an interview, at a cocktail party, almost any conversation with a stranger, that’s why the guest called it “life fright.”

 

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

How does Anxiety lead to Life Fright

Dr Tra  as the author of the book “Call me an Addict, war on women” How does my story regarding anxiety being called “Life Fright” relates to your experience?

I think for that young lady or whoever coined that term, for her that helped her manage her, anxiety disorder.  That term helped her understand for herself this thing that she was feeling, so for her that was a good term to use, this, Life Fright. My thoughts when I think about, life fright,  is that I’m afraid of living period.  The entire gamut of life, so for me I would not use that term as a replicator to, anxiety disorder; but I can see why she did.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

I understand there are 3 types of, Anxiety Disorders,

  1. Situational anxiety
  2. social anxiety and
  3. high functioning anxiety

Can you explain the difference of these forms of, anxiety,  and which is most common with substance abuse?

There are more than just three types of, anxiety disorder,  way more.  I think it’s important also for the audience to understand that when we talk about, anxiety disorder, we’re talking about an irrational fear or, agoraphobia, of something that someone is experiencing.  It’s irrational, it’s not logical that you are excessively fearful over this specific situation or you’re apprehensive about something or you have difficulty managing daily tasks.  So when we think about, agoraphobia, or,  anxiety disorder, I want them to know that it’s irrational to know your heart is racing, and you feel like you’re going to die.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

There are six main categories of, anxiety disorders,  like I said there are more than three!

  1. Phobias
  2. Panic attacks, with or without, agoraphobia, you have
  3. Generalized, anxiety disorder,
  4. Obsessive compulsive disorder or, OCD,
  5. Acute stress disorder and
  6. Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD

 

The American Psychological Association lists research on how, anxiety disorder, is diagnosed.

This disorder called, anxiety disorder, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual

It’s normal to become anxious and at one time or another. A car almost hit you, you are going for an interview, you sense danger etc. Anxiety is normal under certain conditions, what we are talking about here is the irrational fear or, agoraphobia, that is a disorder.

Something who’s unable to leave their home. This is, agoraphobia, they have a fear of leaving surroundings that they’re familiar with.

This a serious affliction.

 

There are three systems of functioning that need to change in, Anxiety Disorder

  1. Cognitive
  2. Physical and
  3. Behavioral

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How would, high-functioning anxiety, work?

An addict could develop a, panic attack, because perhaps they’re they don’t have the substance anymore, or it could be someone who gains, agoraphobia,  as a result of some interaction they’ve had with a place they frequented to attain their substance.

An addict with, high-functioning anxiety, usually is on a treatment plan in conjunction with medication to control their, anxiety disorder.

An addict could develop a, panic attack, because perhaps they’re they don’t have the substance anymore, or it could be someone who gains, agoraphobia,  as a result of some interaction they’ve had with a place they frequented to attain their substance.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Anxiety disorder is a form of mental illness. Dr Tra outside of substance abuse, what are some other  contributing factors to, Anxiety Disorder?

I understand that mental illness presents itself in many forms:

  • Schizophrenia
  • Anxiety disorder
  • Anorexia
  • Depression
Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

My research shows that these disorders present themselves as early as 14 years old and can be treated successfully by mental health professionals if treatment is started early; but because people feel that mental illness equals crazy, they don’t talk about it or seek help.

Research show that 90% of suicides results from mental illness like, anxiety disorder, and depression. How does talk therapy from a Life Coach, social worker or Psychologist such as yourself help patients?

Talk therapy allows the client to feel listened to and understood.  It allows them to download and get advise.  It can save many from suicide.

 

How would you help someone suffering from, anxiety disorder?

Mental illness is something that keeps a lot of people up at night but nobody wants to talk about during the day

It is the visitor who enters without knocking

1 in 20 become disabled by mental illness i.e. Can’t function in society

So let’s start talking.

ANXIETY, has become the defining mental health issue of our decade — women are affected at twice the rate of men, and now children and young adults are also more stressed and anxious than ever before. Join us to learn nutritional and gut solutions for your anxiety!

 

Additional Resources

Drug and Alcohol Treatment for Women with Trauma

https://blog.myhelps.us/understanding-and-managing-compulsive-behaviors/

https://blog.myhelps.us/call-me-an-addict-child-abuse-statistics-p3/

https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/suicide

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/kc/suicidal-thoughts-ideation-193026

7 reasons Mindfulness Meditation can Grow your Business

detoxing the body and soul

Mindfulness Meditation,  is not just for Buddhists and monks.  Meditation, unlocks the power you have within to take your business to the top.

When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, spirituality, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self.  As many successful entrepreneurs know, reduced stress  is the foundation to creating the business and lifestyle you want.  If you are not removing your limiting beliefs and constantly working on your vision, you are limiting your own growth and the growth of your company. You are the lid!

Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation

As a leader or an Entrepreneur there is no better way to overcome obstacles, rise to the top or be creative with out first quieting the noise in your head. When you become still you tap into your creative power by connecting to your source. During, mindfulness meditation, you experience that peace that surpasses all understanding that the bible talks about.  When you forget about all the things you have to do and just focus on the life inside you by witnessing your breathing, you move closer to becoming conscious and understand your purpose. Being quiet and still allows you to listen to instructions from the  higher power who guides you. It is said that it is easier to guide a horse in the direction it is running in; so when you fall into line with what God wants you to do for his Kingdom then your business and your life become less of a struggle.

The reasons we practice, mindfulness meditation, are as varied as the many ways there are to, meditate. In the West, most people are drawn to, mindfulness meditation, to quiet the internal chatter of the brain and to reduce stress. Mindfulness meditation, is indeed a very effective stress reducer, but its benefits—sometimes mysteriously hidden—are far more bountiful. The actual act of, mindfulness meditation, can be as simple as sitting quietly and focusing on your breath while repeating silently a, mantra, a word or phrase. for example the, om mantra, or the Gayatri mantra. There are countless traditions and no singular “correct” way to practice, mindfulness meditation.

Find a practice that you like and stick with it for a while. Notice how you feel as you go about your days. If you find that you have more patience, feel grounded and better able to respond to stressful situations, and are more in touch with your intuition or “gut feelings,” you are enjoying the many benefits of, mindfulness meditation.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

I practice, mindfulness meditation, by finding a quiet place in the morning as I drink my coffee. I listen to a, guided mindfulness meditation, tape on topics such as “activating consciousness“, visionary me meditation, “the law of attraction” etc. as I listen I clear my mind by mentally repeating a centering thought and witnessing my breathing.  At the end of my meditation I am  relaxed,  totally open and creative. I usually write some deep insights after my meditation sessions and I get answers from God and the Universe to questions I ask. This is the perfect way to become a visionary and an innovate leader.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Mindfulness Meditation, is good for our Physical Bodies

Scientists gathering data on, mindfulness meditation, have found that a consistent practice of, mantra meditation, not only boosts the mind, but it also bolsters the body. Studies shows that, meditation, can help reverse heart disease, reduce pain, and support the immune system, better enabling it to fight disease.

The mind-body connection between stress and disease is abundantly apparent as science is finding that, mindfulness meditation, can lower production of the stress hormone cortisol. This means, mediators, are better able to adapt to stress in their lives.

2: Mindfulness Meditation, is good for Our Relationships

Paradoxically, while, meditation, helps us tune in and turn inward to our true essence, it also helps us detach from our own egos to connect with others in more meaningful ways. Couples counselors have found when they assign their clients,  mindfulness meditation, the couples become less angry, more self-reflective, and more loving. When we become aware of—and honor—our interconnection with other beings, we are able to recast our perspectives, see our worries in a different light, and embrace gratitude, which is the heart’s memory.

The bible teaches that we can’t change others only ourselves and when we, meditate, we tune into who we really are. Our ancestral legacy is a brain that is primed to focus on negative experiences and has a tendency to get stuck in conditioned patterns of thinking, returning again and again to thoughts of anxiety, depression, and limitation. So in our relationships we tend to focus on what we do not have instead of what we do have.  As you meditate on a regular basis, you develop what is known as “witnessing awareness”—the ability to calmly and objectively observe a situation, notice when you are being triggered, and consciously choose how you want to respond. The ability to be present and aware is extremely valuable in every relationship.

3: Mindfulness Meditation, helps prolong our lives

When you, meditate, you strengthen your intuition, awareness, and most importantly, your own sense of self.  Yogis and doctors both agree, mindfulness meditation, even just a few minutes of deep breathing—relaxes the brain, reduces anxiety, and decreases depression. We say we can’t afford the time to, meditate, but the truth is we can’t afford not to. When we tell ourselves we don’t have time to exercise, or meditate, then we will make time for sickness and depression. During most of our waking lives, our minds are engaged in a continuous internal dialogue in which the meaning and emotional associations of one thought triggers the next.

We hear a snippet of music and suddenly we’re thinking about the first time we heard that song with an old boyfriend or girlfriend and how that relationship ended. If we’re still holding emotional pain over that ending, those feelings may bubble up and then our mind may veer into criticism, self-pity, or worries about the future. Mindfulness Meditation, is one of the best tools we have to counter the brain’s negativity bias, release accumulated stress, foster positive experiences and intentions, and enjoy the peace of present moment awareness. A large body of research has established that having a regular meditation practice produces tangible benefits for mental and physical health, including:

  • Decreased blood pressure and hypertension
  • Lowered cholesterol levels
  • Reduced production of “stress hormones,” including cortisol and adrenaline
  • More efficient oxygen use by the body
  • Increased production of the anti-aging hormone DHEA
  • Improved immune function
  • Decreased anxiety, and insomnia

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

4: Mindfulness Meditation, Reduces Stress and Burnout

What role is more stressful than the role of a Leader? None, as a Leader you are responsible for the lives of your employees, families, and your commitment to your community? Chronic, unmanaged stress can make you sick and accelerate aging. As many scientific studies have found, prolonged stress can contribute to:

  • high blood pressure,
  • heart disease,
  • stomach ulcers,
  • autoimmune diseases,
  • anxiety,
  • cancer,
  • insomnia,
  • chronic fatigue,
  • obesity,
  • depression,
  • and accelerated aging.

During, mindfulness meditation, your body releases stress and reverses the effects of the flight-or-fight response—that ancient instinct we all have to either run from perceived danger or take it on in battle. Intended as a short-term protection mechanism, fight or flight causes our body to speed up our heart rate, increase our blood sugar, suppress our immune system, reduce insulin production, pump out stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, and reduce the blood supply to our digestive organs. All of these reactions happen so that our body can focus on either running away as fast as it can—or staying to fight. Although few people reading this face daily threats to their bodily existence, many live in a prolonged state of fight or flight, generating stress in response to bad traffic, criticism from a spouse, or a disagreement.

Regular, meditation, dissipates accumulated stress and cultivates a state of restful alertness. There are many compelling studies showing the power of, mindfulness meditation, to relieve stress and promote inner calm. For example, a 2011 study published in the Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine Journal found that full-time workers who spent a few hours each week practicing, mindfulness meditation, reported a significant decrease in job stress, anxiety, and depressed mood.  The reason, meditation, is so popular among successful individuals is it helps release stress, lets go of excess thoughts and expand awareness. As you dive deeper into your, mindfulness meditation, practice you see people events and circumstances as they really are, not as they are perceived to be. It allows you to have an internal Locus of control. That means that you don’t react to external stimuli but are proactive with action plans and goals. It also means that as challenges arise in your business, you will not get overwhelmed; but face those challenges calmly and efficiently.  As an Entrepreneur Leader, meditation allows you to turn your failures into successes.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

5: Mindfulness Meditation, Enhances Your Concentration, Memory, and Ability to Learn

As researchers have found, mindfulness meditation, can help you tap into your brain’s deepest potential to focus, learn, and adapt. While scientists used to believe that beyond a certain age, the brain couldn’t change or grow, we now know that the brain has a quality known as plasticity, enabling it to grow new neurons and transform throughout our lives.  Meditation is a powerful tool for awakening new neural connections and even transforming regions of the brain.  A recent study led by Harvard University and Massachusetts General Hospital found that after only eight weeks of meditation, participants experienced beneficial growth in the brain areas associated with memory, learning, empathy, self-awareness, and stress regulation.  In addition, the meditators reported decreased feelings of anxiety and greater feelings of calm. This study adds to the expanding body of research about the brain’s amazing plasticity and ability to change habitual stress patterns.

Many other studies provide evidence for the value of, mindfulness meditation, in improving the ability to stay focused in world filled with increasing distractions, and demands on our attention. For example, research conducted by the UCLA Mindful Awareness Center showed that teenagers and adults with ADHD who practiced various forms of, meditation for just eight weeks improved their ability to concentrate on tasks, even when attempts were made to distract them. In the world of the Entrepreneur Leader, the ability to focus when you are pulled in so many different directions is extremely important to your success.

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6: Mindfulness Meditation, Improves Your Creativity and Problem-Solving Skills in your Business

We each have an estimated 60,000 to 80,000 thoughts a day—unfortunately, many of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday, last week, and last year. The mind tends to get stuck in repetitive thought loops that squeeze out the possibility for new ideas and inspiration. Mindfulness meditation, is a powerful practice for going beyond habitual, conditioned thought patterns into a state of expanded awareness. We connect to what is known as the field of infinite possibilities or pure potentiality, and we open to new insights, intuition, and ideas. And as we meditate and focus on our breathing, we stop this continuous cycle.

 

7: Mindfulness Meditation, Decreases Anxiety, and Insomnia

The emotional effects of sitting quietly and going within are profound.  The deep state of rest produced by, mindfulness meditation, triggers the brain to release neurotransmitters, including dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. Each of these naturally occurring brain chemicals has been linked to different aspects of happiness:

Dopamine plays a key role in the brain’s ability to experience pleasure, feel rewarded, and maintain focus. Serotonin has a calming effect. It eases tension and helps us feel less stressed and more relaxed and focused. Low levels of this neurotransmitter have been linked to migraines, anxiety, bipolar disorder, apathy, feelings of worthlessness, fatigue, and insomnia. Oxytocin (the same chemical whose levels rise during sexual arousal and breastfeeding), is a pleasure hormone. It creates feelings of calm, contentment, and security, while reducing fear and anxiety.  Endorphins are most commonly known as the chemicals that create the exhilaration commonly labeled “the runner’s high.” These neurotransmitters play many roles related to well being, including decreasing feelings of pain and reducing the side effects of stress.

Additional Resources 

https://blog.myhelps.us/medical-intuitive-readings-what-your-spirit-is-telling-you-through-symptoms/