How To Silence The Voices In Your Head

Silence the negative voices

The voices in your head are also called your inner dialogue or self-talk. These voices are always talking; they are always commenting on everything you see. It is a running commentary. The more we try to shut them off, the louder they become. Today I want to bring awareness to these voices because whatever you say to your self is what you are creating.

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We have 5 voices in our head

Psychiatrists say we have 5 voices in our head and only one of them is the voice of God. We have to learn to distinguish between the ego voice and the voice of the holy spirit because listening to the wrong voice can steer you very wrong.

For example. I used to have a voice in my head that encouraged me to write notes to my boyfriends and husbands telling them what I think of them.  I thought I was being real and factual, but those notes damaged my relationships.  Now whenever the voice in my head tells me to write a note, I write it, but don’t send it!

I remember having foster children who stole and I would tell them whenever the voice in their head tell you to take something that does not belong to you then you talk back to this voice NO.

There are 5 voices that we can talk about and here are some thoughts about what they are and how to manage them.  I call them the 5 C’s.

The first three voices are the broadly helpful voices – your Core voice from your higher self, your Confident voice and your Cautious voice.

The other two voices are the ones that can cause real issues.  They are your Critical voice and your Conceited voice.

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What the voices in your head tell you

This is the first way to silence the voices in your head by talking back to them. If the voice in your head is saying things like:

  • You can’t do it,
  • Your success is not going to last and you will be homeless again
  • You are never going to find someone to love you because you are not educated and can’t hold a conversation.

You have to talk back to this voice and tell it

  • “I am going to do it just watch me.”
  • My success may not last, but I am never going back to where I came from.
  • I will find someone to love me because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Another voice is the one that lists the issues on your mind or perhaps makes internal lists of things you need to accomplish. You may also talk to yourself when you’re preparing a speech or a presentation, where you “play” what you’re going to say in your mind ahead of time.

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

The negative self talk voice

The self talk voice is the voice that plays in my head the most.  I am always having conversations with other people in my head. I remember once this girl said something to me that I couldn’t get out of my head for months. It was a negative comment and the voice in my head would replay it and replay it over and over again.  It took up residence in my head. The more I tried to stop the replay the more it came back.  I would even shake my head to get rid of this ANT which is automatic negative thoughts.

The volume of this particular ANT diminished over time but your ANT can be self-criticism and this is one way to silence this voice.

Write down your ANT in a notebook and them write responses to them. For example:

It could go something like this:

  • ANT: “I messed up at work. I’m probably going to get fired.”
  • Answer: “Mistakes happen. I do a good job one mistake is not going to get me fired.
  • OR
  • ANT: “My son really acted up today. I’m not a good mom.”
  • Answer: “We all have bad days. I am doing the best that I can”

This is one way to rewind the negative tape playing in your head and record over it.

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Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

Strategies to silence the voice in your head

Some of the other ways to silence the voices in your head are:

  1. You have to put word on word – decree and declare
  • My body is blessed
  • My mind is blessed
  • My marriage is blessed
  • Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life
  • My children are blessed
  • My grandchildren are blessed

You have to silence the voice in your head by speaking back to them. Because you shall have whatever you say.

It you say that you will live all your life without love, then you will.

If you say to yourself that you will always be poor, that will be your experience.

You have to decree and declare like the apostle Paul said “When I get to the end of my life I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Talk back to your negative voices

You need courage to continue when there is a threat. Don’t let the negative self-talk stop you from finishing the race.

  • What do you remember when things get tough?
  • Do you remember when God brought you out?
  • Do you remember when God made a way out of no way

Talk back to the voice in your head and say God chose me to go through this. If God thought I couldn’t handle it, he won’t let you go through it.

We can’t see the enemy but he is everywhere.  We have to know the difference of being crushed by the Lord and being crushed by the world.

You cannot have change without disruption.  Don’t be sidetracked by the disruption. Don’t let a disruption distract you from your purpose.

Tell yourself that in every disruption there is opportunity.  Don’t fail to prepare for what’s next because you are focusing on what’s gone or the disruption.

Leaders are determined by how much you move things from one place to another moving the disruption to victory.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

There is purpose in every disruption

When you have a purpose, no disruption can move you off your destiny.

T D Jakes says Once the grapes have been crushed you can’t get the juice back into the grapes.

If you want to be wine you have to be willing to give up being a grape.

You cannot have change without disruption.

The voices in your head area distraction, talk back to them or let ignore them.  If you do this they will eventually go away!

Additional Resources 

How to Stop Negative Self Talk

4 Ways Your Brain is Hardwired for Negative Thinking

We have to change the, negative thinking. I work on not just on your, stinkin thinking, but also your behaviors, because they both work in sync together.  So for example, if your, stinkin thinking, is all men are liars and cheaters, you're coming in to a relationship waiting to be cheated on and lied to and that is what you manifest.

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Bio

Jaime B. Haas is founder of the Jaime B. Haas Method, a guided process that draws from spirituality, positive psychology, mindfulness and life experiences. The Method helps individuals heal from intergenerational, societal and emotional trauma, freeing them to reconnect with their personal power, gain clarity on what they really want to achieve in life, and dismantle any deep-seated beliefs holding them back from moving forward. Her work is motivated by a painful past, at 40 she came to a place of complete surrender. Her approach is rooted in the belief that when you focus on finding the root of the pain and the related stories you’ve told yourself you will be able to change the way you see yourself and the world. Known to her clients as the Soul Surgeon, they say her Method has helped heal wounds that no other modality, including therapy, was able to help them achieve and find lasting love—starting with themselves

Myrna: Can you share your back story.  You mentioned that at 40 years old you came to a place of complete surrender. How was your childhood?

Jaime: Finding the, core programming, right? I'll try and give you the basics, but I was adopted having a younger sister.  My parents have isms. So, isms would be like, food addiction, spending addictions. My father left when I was 10 years old, for another woman that he was cheating with on my mother, and I went and moved in with her and her children. And so, that was the beginning of the end, because I worshiped my father. When my father walked out on my mother, she became completely emotionally unavailable. Her addiction started taking off and then I had very abusive step family that were very intent on hurting me and trying to divide my father and I.

Myrna: So sad. It sounds like it's still painful for you to talk about. But I wanted to get the connection between your childhood and your adult story.

Jamie: Thank you. Yeah, I mean, I feel sad for little me. You know what I mean?  I think I've done so much work around it.  I don't really talk about myself as much anymore, I talk to my clients. My mother wound up hating men and had a lot of negative stories about men that she used to pour into me, and also a lot of stuff around money and work. My father was like, you're just gonna get married to this rich Jewish man and be taken care of. Don't worry about you wanting to dance or you want to act. No, none of that's gonna happen. Those are just a few of the multitude of stories and programming that I got that created me at 40 in the bottom.

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Our Negative Thinking is downloaded from our parents

Myrna: Okay, let's talk about the positive things now. So, when you hit rock bottom, you spent two years figuring out why. What I'm understanding is that you started erasing all those, negative thoughts and, negative thinking, stinkin thinking, that was downloaded into you by your mom. Let's say somebody is in the same scenario or situation and they can't seem to make it happen. How can we start changing the, negating thinking? Yeah, what is the first thing you do?

Jaime: I just want to be clear; this is for men or women because I work with a lot of men, that maybe been divorced. We have to go back to the, root belief system. Most of my women clients are very angry at men and have very specific thoughts and, beliefs, about men and relationships. And my men clients are very angry at women and has very specific experiences, thoughts and beliefs around women. First, we have to get to what is the top, negative belief, or limiting fear-based thoughts that's going on in your head. So, I usually start with that and most people the first, negative thoughts, we must release are “men are liars and cheaters” and “women are all controlling”.

Myrna: Wow, you hit the nail on the head.  If we're going to characterize men, that's actually pretty good.

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Limiting negative beliefs drives our relationships

Jaime: Because that's a, negative thought, right? Or a, limiting belief, or a, fear-based thought, but it's the prevailing thought that's driving the ship. Because then you make all of your decisions based on how you're going to protect yourself, how you're going to react to something new.

Myrna: So, let's say that you were you think that all men are liars and cheaters, and that's because maybe your father cheated on your mom. Then you experienced it yourself. And maybe you have a sample of two or three, but then you say all men are liars and cheaters. How do you change this, stinkin thinking?

Jaime: So let me see if I can break it down in a different way for you because if you've had an experience and you are thinking that all men are cheaters. We have to change that, negative thinking. I work on not just on your, stinkin thinking, but also your behaviors, because they both work in sync together.  So it's like if your, stinkin thinking, is all men are liars and cheaters, you're coming in to a relationship waiting to be cheated on and lied to.

So this is where the pattern where it comes in.  So you come in and whatever the, coping mechanisms, you have set up for your, negative thinking, and specific behaviors you're doing, bring you back to the original pain. So you have all these behaviors to protect yourself, but in the end, you end up been lied to and cheated on. And you're like, I knew it. How did I end up here again?

Myrna: Yep, whatever you think about, you bring about.

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Negative thinking affects our behaviors

Jaime: That's correct. Well, and this is I'm trying to explain to you in a bigger way and I can then unpack it in a smaller way, but I need it because my, belief system, is based on that you are in a state of woundedness. You will continue to bring in people and situations to take you back to the wound to reaffirm the pain. So okay, that's manifesting 101.

But it's in direct relation to not just our, negative  thinking, but how we're behaving. So how are we going to change that? So on the top line, there's like, we can go on the top line or the deep stuff. So on the top layer, is that you're gonna have to tell yourself a different story about men. Like there are good men in the world. There's good, honest, loyal men in the world. And I am bringing them in. All my turnarounds are, affirmations.

Because all the negative stuff you've been telling yourself is actually a, negative affirmation. You've now created a way of being by affirming this belief. So now we have to unprogram and reprogram in a new way by telling yourself a new, affirmation, to imprint a new belief. The new, affirmation, is “there are good men in the world.” “There are good, honest, loyal men in the world and I am bringing them to me.” Are you with me so far?

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Stinkin Thinking: Men are liars and cheaters

My, belief system, all men are liars and cheaters was downloaded to me from my mom. She hated men after my father walked out on her.  Not only did she tell me that all men lie and cheat, but she added all they want to do is get in your pants. Once they do, they're gonna leave you. And so I really had a thing for men, I wanted to stick it to them. I have other clients that were afraid of men, but I wanted to go out and punish men. I wanted to punish them so they couldn't do it to me. I didn't get cheated on. I like hurt everybody.

So I had to do a lot of cleaning up my, stinkin thinking. But the most amazing part of my, stinkin thinking, was that I built a, belief system, on my mother's pain, not mine. He did that to her not to me.

Our, belief systems, follow us everywhere. We take our, beliefs, into work, into business, into friendships, into our relationships, everywhere. As deep seated core program, beliefs and stories, and it affects every area of our life. It's so powerful, we don't even know.

I'm gonna interject, I got to stick up for my men. All the men that I work with had really controlling, dominating, emotionally abusive mothers. And so they actually don't do any of the stuff we're talking about. They're actually afraid of women. They are people pleasers.  Which means they're totally dishonest because they're terrified of being punished.

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Myrna: There's always an exception to the rule. I do know a lot of very nice men that are very family oriented and love their families and love their wives. And wouldn't wouldn't even think to cheat. I think that happens when they fall in love and they have a family. I didn't know what happens when they're sowing your wild oats.

So let's talk about psychology for a minute. Before we get onto your, Jaime B. Hass method. You're saying that we are hardwired for, negative thinking, and  there's four ways that we're hardwired to have, stinkin thinking.  We become programmed by our childhood experiences and maybe early adult experiences that have left us wounded. So where does the, negative thinking, come from?

Jaime:  As a child what our parents say is very powerful. And the more they say it, the more it is programmed into us, the more we start telling the story, the more than the, negativity, comes in.

Myrna: I don't have any psychological understanding of why we are more prone to latch onto and stay focused on the, negativity. And it's really fascinating, right? Because there could be all this good, but it's like the minute there's something bad happens, that's all we think about.

Jaime: We actually are hardwired for, negative thinking. That is why I created the, Jaime B Hass method, that has helped women heal their wounds and achieve lasting love.

So not just women, though. I want to be clear, men and women. So, what I've come to find is that, negative thinking, is the root of the problem. It's a lack of self love and a disconnection from self and trying to get our well being from the outside. So the first part of the journey is learning how to love yourself. Right because once we love ourselves, truly love ourselves, we can allow in more negative feelings like loneliness.

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Self love is the way out of stinkin thinking

Until we practice, self love, we're fractured and so all the relationships we bring in are going to be fractured. I call it, emotionally unavailable. We're, emotionally unavailable, because we're not even there for ourselves, we don't love ourselves. So, you know, that is actually the beginning. of the journey. I don't tell you that right away because people be like, I don't want to get into coaching where I have to love myself like what is that about?  I just want to fix the problem and move on.

Myrna: I love that yeah, if you can't love yourself. You can't be in a love relationship because you can't give away what you don't have. It's very profound.

Jaime: Yes, that's correct. And so what I've also found is that there's not one thing that fixes the problem. It's actually a concoction of a multitude of things when done all together, to create the secret sauce. And so, you know, in the getting to the self love and starting to create a connection with the universe and yourself and then reprogramming and changing your thinking and your behaviors.

The more that magnet within you shifts and changes the more what you start to bring in shifts and changes and all of your relationships become more loving. The people and situations become more aligned with who you are inside. And then you're bringing in that person that perfectly aligns with you who you are now.  But we have to evolve and change first so that we can change in shape shift and change inside to match up and align with that which we are actually calling in and desiring.

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The Jaime B Haas method

That's the first layer. I have found that there are 10 actions to help us get to, self love, and connection.  What I do in the, Jaime method, is that we do the patterns with your parents. I go back to mom and dad, specifically three patterns for parent each parent, we do a letter of healing.  It's really the letter of acceptance and healing. So that when we do that, remember in the beginning I said you if you're in a state of woundedness you will bring in light so we heal the wound. We are no longer attracted to or attracting that.

So we do that last person we do is yourself and then we begin to manifest and it's just but we have to heal clear reprogram and change everything and love ourselves and get a connection with the universe so that we can really be this vessel, this huge magnet of magic, so to speak of love and healing. And then we start aligning with and bringing him you're not chasing going after figuring it out.

People in situations start coming to you a lot of attraction you know like thoughts, you know, when you are in a negative space, then you're attracting, negativity, to you because that is basically what's what's the alignment you know, like attracts like.

So when when we're in that place, we actually surround ourselves with people who are also in negative thinking, who are also talking that way who are reaffirming that even if we're not talking about it, they're talking about it right. So we carry it from our childhood into the present day. So it's like and then we're watching like the news and finding the negative things are we're watching certain things, or reading a lot of things or being around people and going into situations that where it's all this pervasive negative talk.

Conclusion

Myrna: What inspired the topic and how our listeners can get in contact with you.

Jaime: Okay, great. Thank you. So I'm working on a book right now. It's actually on, self love. Actually, because my method will come later. The reason being is that anyone can do this. And if you do it for 30 days, it changes your life immediately. So that I wanted to get the fastest way of healing out to everybody and anybody that you get it now. my website is www.jaimebhaas.com My Instagram is Jaime B Haas and  my Facebook is Jaime B Haas and also my YouTube is Jaime B Haas.

You can find the, self love, actions on my web site.

Additional Resources

Motivate Yourself with The Power of Positive Thinking

 

 

Who is Tending your Mind Garden?

Tending your mind garden

 

As a gardener of your, mind, you have to be vigilant about tending your, mind garden. Imagine your, mind, as a garden. Positive thoughts are the beautiful flowers that brighten your life. Negative thoughts are the ugly weeds that spread and suffocate your happiness, by cutting off sunlight. Just like plants we need sunlight to thrive.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” ~Buddha

Negative thoughts can take the form of fear, self-doubt, guilt, anger, blame, insecurity, prophesying or any thought that makes you feel bad! 

Garden your, mind, to kill the ANTS, Automatic Negative Thoughts

The mind garden of fear

Fear  – defined as false events appearing real, is the number one reason that we don't achieve success in this life, it grows when we don't tend our, mind garden. Fear of the unknown, that feeling of uncertainty. Our, minds, spin tales of past events when we failed or of someone we knew who failed.  One way to Kill this, automatic negative thought,  or weed in our, mind garden, is to imagine what is the worst that could happen.

If you hate your job and are afraid to leave for fear that you would be able to find another job that pays as much or more than you are making now; talk back to this fear and say that you are skilled and you would so get another job. If the worst that could happen is that you run out of money and can't eat or become homeless; then you plan ahead and either find another job before you quit or acquire the necessary skills to get the job you want. Doing nothing because you are afraid should never be an option. There is also a positive side to this ANT or weed in your, mind garden.

If you are afraid of losing something be it your spouse, your job, your home; it tells you that these things are important to you and that you should do the necessary due diligence to keep them. For example if you fear losing your spouse, then you should work on keeping the marriage fresh, you should keep yourself attractive and don’t let yourself get to 300 lbs and you should serve your spouse and make them feel special.

 

Self-doubt grows in your mind garden

Lack of confidence is a very powerful, automatic negative thought, or weed that could unchecked in your, mind garden. One of the most essential character traits to have is confidence. It is sexy and it allows you to command attention. When this, automatic negative thoughts, is telling you that you are not good enough, you will not get that promotion because you don't have a degree for example; talk back and tell it that you are the best person for this job and that it is their loss if they don't hire you.

Tend to your, mind garden, and pull up this weed.  If you don’t, you will never move from where you are today. You will never be an over achiever or the top sales person on a team! You need self-confidence to achieve success.

Guilt is a weed in your mind garden 

Guilt, is a result of your conscience in your, mind, telling you that you have violated your own core value. It is telling you that you did something that is moving you away from your predetermined goal. You can pull up this weed from your, mind garden,  by telling yourself that you recognize your mistake and that you have forgiven yourself. Don't let the guilt and shame arrest you and keep your, mind, in bondage.

Anger – Anger ANTS, automatic negative thoughts,  keep telling you that someone had no right to do something. The more you think about it, the angrier you get. Psychologists say that anger is like an iceberg, what you see is just the tip but there is more ice for miles below the surface. If you are conscious you have an Anger Management problem, then you should understand (with the help of a Therapist) what is causing your anger.  You can pull up this weed from your, mind garden, by telling this , automatic negative thought, that you cannot control what someone else does; the only person you can control is yourself.

Blame – this, automatic negative thought, can be very destructive. When you blame others for the results you are having in your life, you assume the role of the victim. As the victim, you have no power to facilitate change. You pluck this ANT from your, mind garden, by becoming a player. As a player you take back control. Regardless of what the dealer is showing, you can still win! You are not the product of your circumstances. Everybody has a story, it is how you handle adversity and challenges that define and grow you.

Prophesying – the prophesying, automatic negative thought, talks to you about what it knows about the future! It tells you things like “you are never going to close that sale”. “The customer is going to string you along and they will never buy” or “it is never going to work out”. You remove this ANT from your, mind garden, by declaring that you cannot predict the future. You do not have a crystal ball!

Automatic negative thoughts are the weeds in your mind garden

My, Automatic Negative Thoughts, generally take the form of conversations. These ANTS usually starts crawling when I get a trigger. You know what happens when you step on an Ants nest? The Ants all run out at the same and start attacking, they bite!

Tony Robbins teaches about anchors and how to replace the negative ones with positive ones. If you have this problem you should check out his book “The Power Within“. The way I handle these, automatic negative thoughts,  is by shaking my head when I become conscious that they are crawling around. I physically shake my head like I am trying to shake them off me, then I bring my attention to my breathing for a few minutes. If they come back again and they usually do, I download them in my journal and that usually takes care of the problem for me and frees my, mind.  This is how I tend my, mind garden. 

I tend the Garden of my mind by becoming Conscious of the thoughts that make me feel bad!

Positive thoughts on the other hand are like flowers, they beautify your gardens and bring smiles to anyone who stops and pays attention to their beauty; in a similar way positive thoughts make you beautiful to anyone who you have interpersonal relations with. But the beauty of positive thoughts is that they make you feel good. It is not only sex that makes you feel good!

Tending to the garden of your, mind, is an ongoing process.

I’ve seen firsthand how dangerous it is to let the weeds of negative thinking take over your, mind, and just like in your natural garden the weeds thrive more than the flowers or plants. In a similar way when you allow the, automatic negative thoughts, to run free in your head; they snuff all the joy out of your life. All you see is darkness, because they are blocking the sunlight from getting in! Let's look at a garden metaphor to bring an awareness of what happens when weeds take over a garden. Left alone the weeds flourish, creating a dark, tangled mess.

Is your, mind garden, full of weeds?

 

This morning I stepped outside and noticed one of the largest weeds I have ever seen. I didn't notice it before because it looked like a tree. It had a trunk, and was taller than the other flowers. I thought to myself; how on earth could a weed grow so strong and big?  The answer is simple:  their purpose is to take the nutrients from the plants, so they get big when your plants become weak and die.

So it is too with your, mind: An unattended, mind, can create havoc for you because your, mind, is amazingly receptive to whatever suggestions may be dropped into it. It has been said that the subconscious mind cannot take a joke. This simply means that whatever belief is introduced to it, it takes seriously as an instruction to grow that thought-seed into a full-blown plant–be it a rose or a weed, and it can’t tell the difference.

How to plant positive seeds in your, mind garden

When you stop and consider how many thought-seeds are purposefully planted in your, mind garden, on a daily basis, it may cause you to tend to your mental garden with a bit more regularity. This is in addition to all the seeds that were planted in your mind unconsciously. As you listen to the radio, watch TV or even sit in a restaurant where others are talking, your mind hears it ALL, irrespective of whether you are conscious of it or not. Given what’s going on in our world today with all of the talk that comes from fear and anger, this is a vital point to grasp. Even when you engage in gossip or negative conversation with or about others, your subconscious mind hears it all. Be careful of the seeds you let in.

A, mind, expanded with an implanted thought cannot be returned back to its original form.  Leonardo DiCaprio starred in this complicated movie called “inception”, the implantation of another person's idea into a target's subconscious.[Hollywood understands this concept. The only way to avoid this type of mind pollution is to be consciously focused on positive activities and limit news and gossip.

There are some companies that have a zero tolerance for gossip. They treat it like a cancer and remove the gossiper immediately.

The action you and I need to take is clear isn’t it? It has been proven that the human mind thinks thousands of thoughts a day. Instead of planting a mixed bag of thousands of various seeds, from fearful to simply confused and unfocused thought-seeds, which will require a full time gardener to pull up the weeds, why not specialize in planting one or two types of seed? Plant thought-seeds about yourself and others that are rooted in reverence and loving-kindness.

Plant seeds that focus on God’s Presence at the center and circumference of all you say think and do, at work, home, or play.

Be mindful…be skillful in the seeds you plant and how you nurture them. Your life is your garden; keep the weeds out because that is one way in which you can personally beautify our world. You owe that much to yourself and to those who receive the benefit of  the seeds you plant along the way.

Additional Resources

https://www.priorygroup.com/mental-health/anger-management/symptoms-of-anger-management

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201812/fear-false-evidence-appearing-real

 

http://blog.myhelps.us/principle-4-have-a-positive-mind-set/