What does, child sexual abuse, look like? It is the face of innocence interrupted.
Millions of children are victims of, sexual abuse, every year from people they trust. Fathers, brothers, uncles, family friends, their mothers boyfriends…the list goes on.
The, BTS documentary, is shining a light on this issue with their documentary, “Breaking the Silence.”
This documentary, “Breaking the Silence,” aired on the TLC network. This one-hour special featured interviews with people and children impacted by, sexual abuse, including two members of RAINN’s Speakers Bureau, survivors Ter-rae Lee and David Moody, as well as survivor-advocate Erin Merryn, the force behind Erin’s Law.
Child Sexual Abuse Cheryl Burke
One of the speakers on the program was Cheryl Burke of Dancing with the Stars fame. Cheryl shared her, child sexual abuse, story. She was a victim of, sexual abuse, by her kinder-garden school teacher at the tender age of 6 years. She shares how that experience has shaped her life and defined her subsequent choice in lovers.
Burke, 31, said the, sexual abuse, started when she was in kindergarten. She didn’t name anyone specifically, but said, “He would make me watch pornographic videos. He was kind of like that fatherly figure – I think he knew my weakness, that I was very insecure.
Burke, 31, said her parents had divorced and her father had moved away, so this man was tasked with watching her and took advantage.
“I couldn’t speak up for myself. It was hard for me to say no. In a weird way, it was like I didn’t want to hurt him,” the native Californian added.
The dancing star eventually had to testify against the man when she was 6, she said.
Facing your Abuser
“My mom was there holding my hand, I was shaking and there was my molester right in front of me. It was so terrifying to see him face to face. I remember taking a lot of breaks because I would just break down,” she said, adding it was dance that brought her back.
Some other famous, child sexual abuse, survivors were Oprah Winfrey and Dr Maya Angelou. All three of these women overcame their childhood obstacles and went on to live remarkable lives, but some are not so fortunate. In my book “Out of the Snares, A story of hope and encouragement” I share my, child sexual abuse, story and give my readers 10 life principles on how to not only overcome your childhood story; but how to succeed in spite of it.
Oprah’s Child Sexual Abuse story
The media mogul Oprah Winfrey recounted her own experiences with, sexual abuse, which included being raped at the age of nine.
“Anybody who has been verbally abused or, physically abused, will spend a great deal of their life rebuilding their self esteem,” Winfrey said in front of 3,000 students.
She recounted being physically beaten as a child, saying it was a cultural experience many African- American children went through. She also said was raped and molested.
Winfrey talked about some of the positive aspects of her life: How she learned to read before she was three, how she wished to be Diana Ross, and how she skipped school because she wrote a note to her teacher.
Description of her happy times didn’t last, though.
“I grew up in an environment where children were seen and not heard,” she said.
“I was beaten regularly.”
One such beating, she said, stuck out in vividly in her mind.
“I went to a well to get some water and carry it in a bucket. And I was playing in the water with my fingers, and my grandmother had seen me out the window and she didn’t like it.
“She whipped me so badly that I had welts on my back and the welts would bleed. And then when I put on my Sunday dress, I was bleeding from the welts. And then she was very upset with me because I got blood on the dress.
“So then I got another whipping for getting blood on the dress.”
Here are the 10 Biblical and Universal Laws that can help readers rewrite their story of Child Sexual Abuse
1. Keep Your Vision in Front of you – Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of vision casting.
2. The events in your life whether good or bad, work together for good. Your, child sexual abuse, was your teachable moment. God said I know your expected end. Stay the course; don’t give up until you win.
3. Let the Universal Laws of Attraction, the Laws of Intention work for you – Ask and it will be given unto you.
4. Have a Positive Mind-set – Take control of your thoughts and attitudes. Get rid of ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts) from your, sexual abuse.
5. Use what you have in your hand- You were created with a purpose; God gave you the skills and talents you need to complete your task. Stop waiting for the right time.
6. Be intentional about your Growth- Be proactive, be intentional, build on your gifts, and continually improve.
7. If you build it, they will come. Be a servant first.
8. Find your Passion – it is the Fire in your belly. Become conscious of what lights you up. God put that Fire in your belly as a beacon to achieve your purpose. You can achieve your purpose in spite of your, child sexual abuse.
9. Love – it is what makes this Human experience worthwhile. Love yourself first. Love is spirit, God is spirit.
10. Business Consciousness – how to create a startup company and succeed in marketing.
Millions of people suffer from at least one of the, compulsive behaviors, Compulsive shopping, Compulsive eating, Hoarding, Compulsive sexual behavior.
—often, even when the individual wishes they could stop—despite the fact that the act triggers negative outcomes, leads to interpersonal conflicts, or damages mental health.
Listen to full interview here:
Introduction to Compulsive Behaviors
Common activities that can develop into compulsions include, compulsive shopping, hoarding, eating, gambling, sex, and exercise. Though some behaviors are easier to over-indulge in than others, in reality, nearly any behavior has the potential of becoming a, compulsive behavior. Some people even talk compulsively, for instance.
There are also obsessive compulsive disorder, in which a compulsive person performs certain behaviors to relieve underlying anxiety or other negative emotions. A well-known example is a person who checks and rechecks everything—if the stove is turned off, for instance, or if the door is locked.
These behaviors rarely decrease anxiety in the long run; in most cases, they only provide temporary relief. In extreme cases, compulsive behaviors start to take over the person’s work, home, and social life, at the expense of normal activities.
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How are, Compulsive Behaviors, and addictions connected?
Compulsive behaviors, have a genetic effect and are often seen in identical twins. I know 17 year old identical twin girls who came into the foster care system at 4 years old and have had trauma. I attributed their, compulsive behaviors, to genes from their biological parents and environment from their early years in foster care. They started, compulsive behaviors, like stealing from about 5 years old, as they grew older that transformed into, compulsive shoplifting, then they started running away and couldn’t stop, now they are compulsively, hoarding.
Compulsion behaviors, often arise after stressful events, trauma, or abuse as we have seen in our study of addictions. When people engage in, compulsive behaviors, they become trapped in a pattern of repetitive actions or senseless thinking from which it can be difficult to break free.
Treatment is often key for overcoming, compulsive behaviors.
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How does normal behavior turn into, Compulsive Behaviors?
As far as the brain is concerned our rewards are reward important, so regardless of whether it comes from a chemical or an experience and you know that there’s a
reward and people who indulge in , compulsive behaviors, like gambling, eating, sex, and shopping, become trapped in the reward system of dopamine.
Types of, Compulsive Behaviors
Compulsive behaviors come in many forms, all of which can be quite debilitating or even dangerous.
Hoarding, for instance, are those who are unable to part with even the most worthless possessions. Many hoarders find the act of purging so distressful that they live under extremely crowded and potentially harmful conditions.
Compulsive Hoarding, is a psychiatric disorder which involves the accumulation of personal possessions to the point at which these accumulations interfere with your quality of life to a significant degree. The acquisition of “things” and failure to throw away unneeded objects can result in only mild symptoms of a cluttered home to a home which is too unsanitary for healthy living. At the current time, it’s thought that between two and six percent of the population is living with some degree of hoarding disorder.
Compulsively taking selfies and posting on social media
Compulsive sexual behavior or sexual addiction
What negative triggers enable, Compulsive Behaviors like, Hoarding.
The brain tricks us into thinking that we need the reward so we perform the, compulsive behavior, to re up the Dopamine
I know that as humans we move towards pleasure and away from pain. In my role as parent with kids who have, compulsive behaviors. These behaviors are cemented because they engage the reward centers of the brain.
How does one break that reward system for, Compulsive Behaviors?
Don’t wait until sexual temptation attacks you before you see it as a formidable force which seeks to destroy you. Its insidious tactic is designed to enslave you into sexual sins and keep you locked into erotic desires. How you perceive sexual temptation in your life, determines how well you will overcome its deceitful force, and walk in total victory.
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Let’s look at compulsive sexual behavior, or sexual addiction. Sexual addiction, is represented by, compulsive behavior, in commonly available sexual practices, such as
Attending strip clubs,
Paying for sex through prostitution,
Excessive use of pornography,
and repeated engagement in extramarital affairs.
Compulsive sexual behavior, otherwise known as sexual addiction, is an emerging psychiatric disorder that has significant medical and psychiatric consequences. Until recently, very little empirical data existed to explain the biological, psychological, and social risk factors that contribute to this condition. In addition, clinical issues, such as the natural course and best practices on treating sexual addictions, have not been formalized. Despite this absence, the number of patients and communities requesting assistance with this problem remains significant. This article will review the clinical features of compulsive sexual behavior and will summarize the current evidence for psychological and pharmacological treatment.
Dr Ahia What forms of, Sex Addiction Treatment, would you administer to someone suffering from, compulsive sexual addiction?
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How would you treat a youth that had the compulsion for taking selfies or even shoplifting?
Psychopaths have no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five Americans, are secretly, sociopaths and so we have Jeffrey Epstein.
There are some subjects that fascinate me and one of them are, sociopaths.
This fascination began when I read the book the “Psychopath Next Door.”
This story was about a man who selected this woman because of her vulnerability.
Sociopaths, always chose their victims.
He actually knocked on her door one day and began a friendship with her, then he got her to move away from her friends and family to this remote house in England.
Sociopaths, always want to get you away from your friends and family because friends and family strengthen us. Jeffrey Epstein, had his island in the Virgin Islands
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The definition of a Sociopath
This house in England was a beautiful large Victorian home. This man let’s call him Jim told this that he inherited this property and had her suggest that they modernize the house with her money.
Later in the story after she had escaped with her life, she found out that the property was rented, it was a con to get her money.
Sociopaths, are liars.
Then Jim started abusing her, verbally and emotionally, then physically. He told her if she ever left him he would kill her. Every time she attempted to leave, he would find her and punish her. Finally in desperation she walked for miles in the freezing cold one night to someone’s home and hid there.
Sociopaths, keep you in control with abuse. Remember the Robert R Kelly documentary? All the women said that he controlled them with physical abuse and punishment like starvation when they disobeyed his orders. Like going to the bathroom without getting permission
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Like I said, this story imprinted on my mind and since then I have been able to spot, sociopaths. Almost all of them are good looking and charming and they use this asset to reel in their victims.
Jeffrey Epstein, was also good looking and charming and was able to charm his way into getting jobs as a teacher and securities broker without having any of the necessary paperwork, because he dropped out of college.
Sociopaths vs Phychopaths
As a, sexual predator, they use this good looking charm to make women fall for them and after they get them emotionally tied, they switch from charming to becoming a monster.
Sociopaths, are also narcissistic. They can feel no emotions so they do unconscionable things without batting an eyelid.
Jeffrey Epstein, sexually abused hundreds of children for decades by luring them with $200. He knew that to a 14 year old $200 was a lot of money. If he ordered a call girl or prostitute the price for a massage and sex would be $2000 not $200; but then of course they wouldn’t turn him on. Only young girls turned him on.
What is the difference between, sociopaths vs psychopaths? Sociopaths and psychopaths are usually dishonest. In my story Jim swindled over a $100,000 from his victim to modernize a house that he didn’t own.
Jeffrey Epstein, was also a thief. He stole $46 M from one of his employers and was fired from another for stealing.
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So to answer the question are all, sociopaths, predators? I would say yes, Sociopaths, are always looking for their next victim. They may not be ALL in like, Jeffrey Epstein, and, Robert R Kelly; but they are, sexual predators, who charm women, men and children out of whatever their prize is. There are, sociopaths, scamming old people out of their last dollar and have no remorse that these seniors have no funds left to live out their lives
The Sociopath next door
We are accustomed to think of, sociopaths, as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a, sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.
How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes, sociopaths, more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths, are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths, learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.
The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more, sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a, sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath, is beckoning, do not join the game.
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What is the difference between a, Sociopath, and a Psychopath?
I don’t use either term, you’re speaking about an, antisocial personality disorder. Several people in our lifetime like Jeffrey Dahmer’s and other individuals like, Jeffrey Epstein, can be diagnosed with, antisocial personality disorder. The reason why I use that term, a psychological perspective and diagnostic criteria is attached to that term.
There are seven diagnostic criteria that we would use in order to diagnose someone exhibiting, sociopath, behavior:
One there’s a pervasive pattern as well as a disregard for and violation of the rights of others. This behavior starts occurring usually at the age of 15 years old.
Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest, as we saw with both, Jeffrey Epstein, and Robert R Kelly.
Deceitfulness very much so. Very easy for, sociopaths, to be deceitful. Jeffrey Epstein scammed a gentleman that he worked for out of millions of dollars. He taught in a school without the proper credentials. He said he went to certain schools and never attended the schools.
Repeated lying, some of these men even use aliases. They scam others for their own profit. Their personal profit and pleasure.
Irritability and aggressiveness as indicated by repeated fights or assaults
Reckless regard for safety of self and others. Consistent irresponsibility as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work, behavior or honor financial obligations.
Lack of remorse, indicated by being indifferent and to or rationalizing having hurt mistreated or stolen from another individual.
Are Sociopaths Narcissists?
Sociopaths are narcissists because they have no conscience, the barometer to tell you when you are doing wrong. I can imagine it may be a struggle for some, sociopaths, so that’s when they become, sexual predators. The sexual part of it with the, sexual predators, become hard to control. It becomes an addiction.
I was actually very surprised when, Jeffrey Epstein, did go to prison the first time for 18 months and he got himself out on a work permit, that he was still continued bringing women in to his office to have sex. The same behavior he was in prison for, he continued doing!
Ted Bundy did the same thing. They incarcerated him and he escaped twice and continued the same behavior. He continued the same exact behavior with those women, killing and murdering and having sexual encounters with them.
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That’s part of the impulsive label. I personally think that the reason, Jeffrey Epstein, did not stop or had no remorse is because he was wealthy. He didn’t care about these women, he just cared about himself and his sexual desires. They called him, sociopath narcissist, you can call it, antisocial personality disorder, all these different labels; but he knew what he was doing was wrong and he thought that he could buy his way out, and he did for quiet some time.
I was quite impressed that the first time, Jeffrey Epstein, was on trial, he had eight lawyers, a team of eight lawyers! I am sure that cost him millions; but Robert R Kelly was poor. I mean he couldn’t even afford a proper lawyer so he’s still in prison.
How are sexual predators created?
What is the, test for a, sociopath? Well that’s a good intro to the, sociopaths vs Psychopaths, and your definition of, anti-social Personality disorder. How does that lead them to become, sexual predators?
I’m not just talking about, sexual predators, but the , sociopath narcissistic, piece where they have no conscience don’t care about their victims, just into your fulfilling of their desires. You mentioned Jeffrey Dahmer and you talked about Ted Bundy. I’m assuming that you put them in this in this conversation, because they’ve also been diagnosed with, antisocial personality disorder, commonly called, sociopath.
These are mental health issues probably passed on from parents and grandparents. Some, sociopaths, develop after being abused as children. Robert R Kelly was raped as a child by his aunt.
How would the women look for, sociopaths, out to take advantage of them?
Firstly, they don’t want to trust. You want to be more cognizant of who you’re trusting.
We want to be aware of someone asking you about your life in terms of your financial abilities.
You want to be more cognizant to the fact of strange men visiting your home. Limit the frequency that they visit or stay in your home. Visit their dwelling to see where they live.
See what their lifestyle is. Talk to their family members don’t even allow them to come to your home for at least 90 days after you meet them.
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The, sociopath, or the person with, antisocial personality disorder, always chooses their victims.
The documentary said that, Jeffrey Epstein, had the ability to read his victims and offer whatever they wanted.
I have worked with families who had children that have been sexually assaulted. In my first intake, my first conversation with the parents, I say to the parents that their child has the 50% likelihood of being sexually assaulted again because pedophiles tend to know. They can read them. They can either pick up on the fear or the vulnerability.
They choose their victims, Robert R Kelly looked for the women with weak minds. Jeffrey Epstein, looked for girls with no parental influence, were poor or needy.
Young females have to be vigilant because people will try to manipulate them and do things to them to get them to perform sex acts. Someone gave, Jeffrey Epstein, three twelve-year-old girls as a birthday present. You saw some of the images of some noted men today some powerful men including Prince Andrew who hung out with, Jeffrey Epstein, they partook of these young girls. Some of them had daughters of that same age. So mothers look out for your daughters.
I tell parents it’s okay to be quote-unquote a helicopter parent. It’s okay to not let your kids spend the night over someone’s house. It’s okay to be a hands-on face-to-face with your kid till they are at least 18 going into college.
If you value your child’s life and you do not want your child to be fractured into pieces as a result of this trauma from a, psychopath, be vigilant. I work in the education field right now and there are people that will become educators or social workers on campuses or they’ll work with the children because they know they have access to be with them alone with children.
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