What happens when there is, infidelity, in your marriage? Statistics show that as much of 70% of men and women cheat on their spouses and committed partners.
Today on WDJY 99.1 FM straight talk radio our topic is “How does, Infidelity, affect Intimacy and Desire for our Partner ” We all Desire to be in loving fulfilling, relationships, with our partners, our children, our friends and co-workers. We desire to have successful careers, some of us desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy, and today we are going to touch on our desire for our partners to be faithful to their commitment to us.
Introduction to Infidelity in Marriages
My co -host for this episode is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste Intimacy Coach and, I am a Mindset Coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “How does, Infidelity, affect Intimacy and Desire for our partner”
What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.
The dictionary calls Alchemy a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination.
I will tell you from personal experience that there is nothing that transforms an intimate relationship into something magical, like the surety that your partner will not break his vows or commitment to you, that he or she loves you unconditionally and would not look at another. But how do we, survive infidelity, when it happens?
How to Survive Infidelity
Not too many of us can walk in that space, being able to swear that our partners would not cheat on us.
In a previous blog, we talked about how to manifest the desires of your heart. The first step is knowing what you want. The second step is adding emotions to it.
In our second blog on the topic of, infidelity, we talked on how to use the energy of desire to create something magical.
In our 3 blog we Used the Power of Attention to light our desires afire after, infidelity.
If you missed those 3 episodes, please download on then on iTunes, Sticher or TuneIn podcast.
Today we want to turn up the heat another notch as we talk about the controversial subject of, infidelity, and how it changes Intimacy.
Relationship Coaching
Margo is an, Intimacy coach, with One Taste. So let’s start off our discussion today by having her weigh in on the conversation.
Illustrations of an intense desire for intimacy
UK Artist Ben Newman brings a different kind of taste to satirical art. This is sultry and saucy at the same time.
His boldness in combining sexy female characters with robots present in the fantasy world is amazing with an intense desire for intimacy.
The solution to infidelity is not always divorce
Myrna – Margo as an, intimacy coach, how has your clients dealt with, infidelity?
Believe it or not, most people decide to stay in their marriages after, infidelity. The important thing is to address the issues that might have lead to the, infidelity, and get the necessary help to recover.
Infidelity in marriages, Divorce isn't always the solution, particularly when the unfaithful spouse is remorseful and devoted to changing. Here are some things you need to know if you are dealing with the fallout of, infidelity, in your marriage.
- Betrayal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Infidelity is not a marital deal breaker
- Most affairs end – a man rarely leaves his wife for the other woman
- You are not alone
- It helps to get help
How have you dealt with, infidelity?
I have dealt with, infidelity, several times in my life. I have dealt with, infidelity in marriage, and, infidelity, in, love relationships.
When I was younger and more emotional I would leave immediately. As I matured I seek to understand first and love unconditionally.
Some therapists believe that, infidelity, destroys the fabric of a, relationship, which cannot be repaired. These therapists declare, marriages, dead on arrival but, I believe it is up the the individuals.
What happens when Desire goes looking somewhere else?
History will show that men don’t need a reason to cheat on their partner. But for this discussion we will look at the Lack of Desire as the reason for the, infidelity.
What can we do when desire dries up and we no longer feel the spark for our partners?
Men like uncertainty, they like variety. Most men who cheat don’t want to leave home. They love their spouse and like the security of home but they seek adventure.
I was just reading the unauthorized biography of Angelina Jolie and how his, infidelity, had consequences he did not anticipate. John Voight was tempted by great sex and cheated on her mother who promptly left him when Angelina was 6 months old. John Voight had no interest in leaving his wife and 2 kids; but the lure of exciting sex was something he could not pass up. That dalliance had far reaching consequences for his children and himself. He would be seeking a family for decades to come.
But men don't have to go outside the home for exciting sex. As women we could bring the excitement and adventure to our bedroom. We could bring the feeling of having an affair to our bedroom.
Whatever you are doing now, we could do something different. If you always make love with all your clothes on, in the bed with the lights out; then start making love on the couch, fully clothed, with all the lights on!
Become the mistress. Meet in a hotel, set up dates, role play and dress up, send sexually explicit text messages.
I remember a friend of mine who divorced her husband because she found a video his mistress sent to him. That is how the women are stealing our men, they excite them.
What happens when women go looking for love
Okay, enough of the men having unmet needs and looking for excitement in the bedroom. What about our unmet needs?
Women have unmet need as well and are catching up to men as they too are looking outside the home for fulfillment of their desires.
Myrna – Margo, how can women communicate their unmet desires to their partners?
Margo – Before women go looking for love in all the wrong places, they should learn to become the mistress and turn up the marital sex. They can do this by role playing and other sex games.
How do we as women deal with infidelity of spouse or partners?
There are several schools of thought about this topic.
If you want things to change, you have to change.
Maybe you are a nag, maybe you don’t like sex, maybe you take no pride in your appearance, maybe you have trust issues, maybe you are boring.
You have to know yourself to grow yourself.
Ask yourself what have I invested into this relationship? Are you a taker or do you contribute to the peace and happiness of your man?
I remember Jennifer Gardner saying after she experienced the, infidelity, from Ben Afflec . She determined that it was not Ben Afflec's role to make her happy. He cheated on her with the nanny. She was taking stock in what she brought to the table and understood it was not someone’s else role to make her happy. Happiness comes from our true self.
You can’t give away what you don’t have.
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Additional Resources
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-flow-with-desire/