How To Find Body Peace After 40

May 7, 2023

How To Find Body Peace After 40

Body peace, is especially difficult for women over 40 because our bodies are changing, and there are two times in a woman’s life that are most susceptible to disordered eating. One is coming into fertility, the other is leaving fertility. Perimenopause, menopause, post menopause, that’s a time where our bodies are again changing, hormones are shifting. And again, what comes up is women become very vulnerable to disordered eating because we’re like, oh, my gosh, my body’s changing.

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Bio

Nina Manolson is a Body-Peace® coach. She helps people end the war with food and body and finally feel truly at home in their body—as it is. She is known for her deeply feminist, anti-diet, body-peace approach. She brings her 30 years’ experience as a therapist, Nationally Board-Certified Health & Wellness Coach, Body-Trust® Guide and Psychology of Eating Teacher to helping women create a respectful and trusting relationship with their food and body.

Nina’s Body-Peace work is all in service of helping people get off the diet roller-coaster, and into a compassionate and powerful way of eating & living which creates a positive long-lasting change in and with their bodies. Her courses, coaching and poetry positively change the conversation that women are having with their body. She also writes Body-Poems as a way to encourage a shift in the way we talk to, and about our body.

Myrna: How did you become a, body peace, coach?

Nina: My first diet was when I was nine years old. And then ensued decades of diets on and off, that diet roller coaster of like, oh yes, this is the new latest, greatest thing. This is it. This is how I’m gonna get that perfect body that you know all the magazines and all the blogs are talking about. And then of course that doesn’t happen, because 95% of people who go on diets gain their weight back, in two to five years. So that diet roller coaster was the story of my life to the point where I was like, this has got to change. This is frankly boring.

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Nina’s journey to becoming a body peace coach

And I have more important things to do in this life than to be obsessed about what I just ate or what the number on the scale is. And so, I started digging deep in my own life, which was a personal journey, but also became a professional journey. I became a therapist. I started as a body worker doing massages and helping women really feel comfortable in their own body. I started hearing women’s body stories and the trauma that we carry and all the shame that we carry about our bodies. Oh, my belly is too big. Oh, my underarms are still flapping when I wave. Oh, my butt is too you know, depending on the era too big too small to whatever, all that stuff that I was hearing.

And so then I got into also health coaching I was like, I’m gonna figure out how to eat right. Well, that’s not it either. Right? That’s not the whole answer. Of course, it matters, how we nourish ourselves, but that doesn’t actually impact how we feel about our body. So, I started to weave all of those together.

How are we in relationship to our body?
How are we in the relationship with our food? And that brought me to the work that I’ve been doing and really cultivating this work of, body peace, out of my own experience out of a lot of training.

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A poem about body peace: Please don’t weigh me

Here is a, body piece, poem that I wrote. I write poems about our relationship with our body. I want to open the conversation about the scale with a poem, because this conversation about the scale is so important, because so many women are like, yes, that number, but that number.

Please don’t weigh me.

She asked me to hop on the scale.

I said, No, thank you. She said we’d like to get a baseline for your health since you’re a new patient.

I said, I don’t subscribe to the belief that weight determines health. There are more powerful metrics that paint a picture of my vitality.

Another day, she asked me to hop on the scale. I said no, thank you.

She said we’re a surgical practice and we may need your weight to determine anesthesia dosages.

I said of course, if I need to have the surgery, I will get on the scale. But right now, we’re just having a conversation about the possibility of surgery, not actually prepping for another day.

She asked my daughter to hop on the scale. I said, No, thank you.

We don’t weigh ourselves.

I know that your mission is to support healing, but your scale and you’re telling my daughter is not healing. It’s harmful.

The bathroom scale does not determine our self worth

The, bathroom scale, buys into the diet cultures message that thin is better, that there’s a specific number that we’re aiming for your scale interrupts my daughter’s ability to trust her body. Your measurements have her measuring her self-worth against a number.

I am fighting for my ability to listen to my own body cues.

I am desperately trying to defend my daughter from the impact of a culture that values a particular size over substance.

I am advocating for women to have a relationship with their body that is based on internal cues, not external numbers.

Given my history of dieting and, scale addiction, if you weigh me now, you will be doing harm to my mental health instead of supporting my overall health. So please do not weigh me.

Myrna: That is an awesome poem. I am going to put away my scale! Tell us about your, body peace, message.

How do we find body peace with body imperfections

Nina: Okay, let’s say that you are a woman that has a scar, a C section scar, and maybe you’re single and you’re going into new relationship. You are ashamed to take off your clothes in front of a new man because you’re ashamed of that body. It could even be your own husband of 30 years and you are still ashamed for him to see you naked. You have, body shame. I teach my clients how to make the switch from, body shame, to, body peace.

We all know that feeling of being self-conscious in our body and getting naked. So, how do you make the switch? It’s not like a light switch. It’s not a light bulb that just goes on and off. We have had 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years of hating our body of feeling shame. So, we’re just can’t flip a switch and we’re gonna love your body. And no, that’s not how it works. That’s actually not sustainable. That’s what our $72 billion diet industry teaches us here. Here’s a new diet and you will change forever. And we all know that doesn’t happen.

What happens is we need to develop a practice. Body peace, isn’t a destination. It’s why my work isn’t called, body love. As much as I love the idea of, body love. Body love, is too aspirational for many women. It’s like what? I’m supposed to look in the mirror and love everything I see? And as an aging woman, my body changes all the time. I’m like, oh, there’s a new wrinkle I love it. Oh, there’s some new body fat, I love it. That’s just not realistic. It’s not real life.

Let’s get into a sustainable way of being with our body and finding, body peace.

Switching from body shame to body peace

Myrna: Excellent, what is the language? How do we talk to ourselves to find, body peace?

Nina: Okay, so, couple of things. One of the things that we’re cultivating is compassion for our body. So, we’re developing a conversation of compassion with ourselves, because we’ve learned the language of criticism, we’ve learned the conversation of hate with ourselves. And what does hate and, body shame, and criticism do? It makes us very stressed. What does stress do? It lifts our cortisol; it lifts up our stress hormones. What does that do? It reduces our metabolism, reduces our calorie burning. It reduces even our immunity.

So what do we want to do? We want to give our body compassion. We want to be kind. We want to have caring kind statements. For example, a woman has a new relationship and she is supposed to get naked and she doesn’t feel good about her body, she has, body shame. And the first thing I teach her is to have compassion and acknowledge, this is hard.

That’s the compassionate language. Not you should get over it, no this is vulnerable. This is hard. How do I create more safety for myself?

Another way might be to let her partner in on that and say, you know, this is vulnerable for me. I’m concerned that you might judge me. Because I have such a judging voice. I am concerned that you have that same judging voice. Now, frankly, if you are going to bed and having sex with somebody who’s judging, I would skip that one altogether.

Myrna: The thing is the man is not judging us. They don’t care about your scar.

Nina: They don’t absolutely don’t.

A good partner sees who we are. They see intimacy as a way to create more connection. They are not in it for the perfect body. And frankly, they don’t have a perfect body either. And we are not judging them. So, softening the conversation with ourselves is so important. And it’s also important in this process, to unpack a little. Where did that judgment come from? Because you didn’t pack that bag of judgment by yourself. We got it from your gym teacher. We got it from a parent. We got it from maybe a father who would criticize the people who had imperfect bodies on the street. We got it from the mean girls in high school, we got it from whoever we got it for from.

Lizzo body shame or body peace

So, we want to look at our, body shame, story. We get most of it from the images that we see in magazines and on the big screen. But even the women in the magazines don’t look like that. The images are photoshopped.

Poem about Lizzo and her body peace

This poem is called, I wish I felt like Lizzo.

We watched Lizzo belting it out shaking her stuff, being an icon of power and my soulful, beautiful beings have a friend looked at me and said, It’s okay for Lizzo but not for me.

I looked at her with one eyebrow raised and say I’m not understanding because I’ve heard it so many times.

The celebration of body liberation is for all women. Except for you. You’re all for fat positivity for owning being all sizes for owning our curves, our belly.

You admire that woman who lives in a large body when she walks into the room with competence and you say oh, yes, I love how she loves her body. I want every woman to love their body like that. But that’s not for me.

Somehow you believe the rules are different for you. You’re not allowed to feel good in your skin until you lose 15 pounds, until you have a flatter belly, until your arms don’t wave in the wind, until you fit into your skinny jeans, until you’re sure no one will judge your size, until, until, until.

It’s pretty new, you’re allowed to feel your power, your beauty, yourself. Lizzo’s body is not shrouded in shame. Her fatness is not covered in apologies. She’s not promising to be smaller, and you with the wondrous body that you live in right now. You deserve that too.

The scale addiction

Nina: The, scale addiction, is having to weigh yourself. Needing to know what the scale has to say about your life. My clients are like, but I have to weigh myself otherwise I won’t know. And then I must be in control and the scale starts to be this like push pull, push pull. I’m low on the scale. Yay. Thumbs up. I’m high on the scale, boo I’m abandoned and the number starts to be a moral judgment on our actual being as a human. So, here is the experiment. You take your scale and you put it in a plastic bag.

If you can’t toss it, which I know many people can’t. So, you take the scale you put it in a plastic bag and you tie a double knot around it and you take that bag, you put it in another bag with the scale facing down. You tie another knot. So now you have got this scale, two bags to double knots. Then you take that whole bag and you either put it in your garage or your attic or your basement somewhere you don’t often get naked, because I know the people who are hooked on the scale are taking up every little tidbit of clothing before, they step on the scale.

So, it goes out of the bathroom or the basement or garage or wherever somewhere you don’t get naked.

Myrna: You hit the nail on the head. I have scale addition myself. I wonder if I’ve lost weight. I feel a little lighter or I feel a little heavier. Maybe I should check.

Nina: You can start to think what am I asking the scale to tell me?

That I’m a valuable person,
that I am good,
that I can trust my actual internal experience of myself,
that if I feel vital, that I actually am because the numbers down or if I’m feeling a little sluggish that maybe I haven’t been eating in the way that I really would like to support myself?
Do I need a little piece of metal to tell me how I actually feel on the inside?

Larger body does not mean unhealthy

And I’m gonna say just straight up you don’t need the scale. It’s trusting your own knowing of your body. We do not need a piece of equipment to tell us how we are doing. We’re women we know what makes us feel good. I know what would make me feel mobile, agile, vibrant, alive. Sexy, sensual, all the good things and love it.

You can be in a larger body and be somebody who walks and who eats well, and who’s healthy. Health is not defined by the number on the scale, but rather some more important metrics. How’s your heart doing? How’s your cholesterol doing? How’s your blood sugar doing? Right? Those are important metrics.

To clarify that, I’m not promoting that you eat what the heck you want, whenever you want right with people because part of this work is giving yourself permission to eat and not being so tight and restricted.

Finding body peace after 40

Myrna: How do we have, body peace, after the age of 40.

Nina: Body peace, is especially difficult for women over 40 because our bodies are changing, and there are two times in a woman’s life that are most susceptible to disordered eating. One is coming into fertility. That is why you see eating disorders in teenagers, because their bodies are changing. This is normal, right? Getting a period and developing breasts. There’s normal waking, but our culture says oh, no, you should still look like you’re 12 and then the diets start.

The other time is when we are leaving fertility, pre perimenopause, menopause, post menopause, that’s a time where our bodies are again changing, hormones are shifting. And again, what comes up is women become very vulnerable to disordered eating because we’re like, oh, my gosh, my body’s changing. That can’t happen. Oh my gosh, I’m gonna pass that number on the scale, right? My belly is getting bigger, I’m gonna do something and we get into what I call body management. And that can move easily into eating disorders, obsession, and not actually enjoying our life.

Myrna: tell us about your, body peace, coaching programs and how our listeners can connect with you, your social media handles, your website, etc.

Nina: My website is www.NinaManolson.com. You can also just search bodypeacewithnina.com. And there’s a couple of things on that website that you’ll find that super helpful to start your journey into your own, body peace, journey and they’re all free. One is a, body peace, masterclass, that really goes into the different kinds of relationships that women have with their bodies. And the other is a journal that’s practicing, body peace. It’s a free journal, you can download it, and in there are some of my, body peace, poems.

But even more importantly, there’s 20 questions that if you were sitting with me, I would ask you about how is your relationship with your body? How did it come to be that way? How do you feel right to start you really asking yourself these important questions so that you can start to create a relationship with your body and we feel that feels good and solid? And the one last thing that I want to share that is brand new is I have an app, on body piece.

You can find more information about that, at body peace app. I’m super excited about the, body peace, app because it has tons of resources. It has the, body peace, seekers program. It has a, body peace, starter kit program. It has free meditations, body peace poems, the masterclasses there, it’s got a lot of resources to support you in your journey to finding, body peace. connect with Nina https://www.instagram.com/ninamanolson/

Additional Resources

How to Love Yourself and Heal The Body

February 20, 2023April 23, 2023

How to Reprogram your Mind to Stop Binge Eating

When you develop, Binge Eating Disorder, you aren’t able to fight your desire for food. It’s like an addiction. It IS an addiction. Binge eating, and overeating and how that negatively affects your health until you learn how to reprogram your mind.

My guest today is Dr. Glenn Livingston, author of “Never Binge Again” and our topic is “How to Reprogram Your Mind to stop, binge eating,”

Glenn Livingston PhD, is a veteran psychologist and was the long-time CEO of a multi-million-dollar consulting firm which serviced several fortune 500 clients in the food industry.

Dr Glenn has sold over 30 million dollars of marketing consulting services over the course of his career. You may have seen his previous work in major periodicals like the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Chicago sun-times, the Indiana Star Ledger, the New York Daily News, American demographics, or any of other major media outlets.

What is Binge eating disorder

Dr. Glenn can you tell us what makes you uniquely qualified to comment on, binge eating disorder?

Well I’m not just a psychologist who wanted to work with people to help them lose weight; I’m a guy who had a very serious, binge eating, problem myself.

I know what’s happening in the addiction treatment field that we’re being told that we’re powerless over the, food addiction, that it’s a disease. Binge eating, is

An irresistible impulse that gets worse over time.

Here is Dr Glenn’s story on how He conquered, Binge Eating,

I discovered a weird thing when I was a youth. I’m 6’4” I’m reasonably muscular and I figured out when I was about 17, that if I worked out for two or three hours a day, I could eat whatever I wanted. So my diet was boxes of muffins, boxes of donuts, boxes of pizza, boxes of chocolate bars. I was eating six, seven, eight thousand calories a day and it was no problem.

Well as you could figure out, I couldn’t continue, binge eating, like that as I got into my 20’s.

When I got to be about 22 or 23, married and in graduate school, I was commuting to school, I had all these responsibilities as a husband. I could barely work out two hours a week, much less two hours a day. But I couldn’t get rid of the cravings for, junk food. I had a, food addiction, and I started getting fatter and fatter. My triglycerides went through the roof, and I had doctors telling me that I was going to die in my 30’s if I didn’t find stop, binge eating .

I eventually figured it wasn’t what I was eating, it was what was eating me.

I had been doing some reading in alternative, food addiction, treatment by a guy named Jack Trimpey. He wrote a book called “Rational Recovery” and he made it clear to me for the first time that the seed of, food addiction, was really the, reptilian brain,.

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Binge Eating, Definition

Binge eating, is looking at food from the reptilian brain doesn’t know love. We’re all we’re all busy trying to love ourselves out of these, food addictions; but the reptilian brain doesn’t know love. The reptilian brain assesses something in the environment and says, do I eat it or do I kill it! There’s no love there, there’s no concern for tribe or family or friends or long-term aspirations or creativity or music or art. There’s none of that. It’s just eat, mate or kill, and when you look at the animal studies you see that is what happens when you short circuit the pleasure system.

You can walk a block in most cities and find a McDonald’s, a Burger King across the street. There’s a fast-food restaurant on every corner these days. So we don’t have physical electrodes in our brain; but there are chemical electrodes and concentrations of pleasure that we weren’t prepared to meet by evolution.

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Binge Eating, and what your choice of foods signifies:

My research found was that people who struggled with, binge eating, chocolate was definitely lonely or brokenhearted.
People who struggled with, binge eating, salty crunchy things, tended to be stressed at work people
People who struggled with, binge eating, soft chewy things like bread or bagels or pasta, tended to be stressed at home.

I found out from my mom, the reason I struggled, binge eating, chocolate.

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How to reprogram your mind to stop, binge eating.

I tell people the best way to stop the, food addiction, and, binge eating, is to is to think of the single worst trigger food or eating behavior that’s getting you in trouble.

Maybe it’s eating in the car, maybe that’s where you do all the damage. Maybe you could create one rule that says: I never eat in the car or maybe it’s a particular food. e.g I can only have salami on Sundays. Maybe it’s about how you eat, maybe it’s more like you need to pause and be more mindful. e.g I’ll always put my fork down between bites.

If there’s something that you know is getting you into trouble, binge eating, start with that one.

Binge Eating and the Reptilian Brain

Don’t worry if making this rule will help you loose weight or not. Unless your doctor says that it’s really urgent that you do, don’t worry about your weight. I just want you to get the hang of the way this mental game is played, because that rule allows you to separate your thoughts from your, reptilian brain.

Come up with a name for your, reptilian brain, I called mine my “pig”
Some people call theirs their food monster or food demon or something like that.
Then you want to listen for those destructive thoughts.
You want to listen for what your inner food demon says is the rationale that you should break the plan with, binge eating, you can do one of two things when you hear it.
You can ignore it, because it doesn’t matter how smart what is saying, it doesn’t matter how logical it sounds, if you know that it’s coming from your food demon, your pig, you now it’s bad. So you might as well ignore it even if it sounds like it’s got a PhD from Harvard!
You could write out what the food demon is saying and you ask yourself where is the lie within it. Where is the logical fallacy within it. For example maybe the food demon says one bite won’t hurt you, or you can start again tomorrow, which is based upon the logical fallacy that you’ll be in the exact same place tomorrow.

Food addiction leads to binge eating

If you reinforce the connection today between that craving and the actual eating of the food then, you’re going to have a stronger craving tomorrow. That means the, food addiction and, binge eating, will be a little worse tomorrow.

One of the ways to attack your craving and, binge eating, is to create a food plan. The food plan would have some things that you always eat, some things you never eat, and some things you eat sometimes.

I always eat five servings of fruit or vegetables.
I drink two whole glasses of water when I get up in the morning.
I will only eat pretzels at major league baseball games.
I only eat bread when I am out at a restaurant.
I never eat after 6 pm.
I never eat pizza.
I never eat more than two squares of chocolate a day.

Conclusion

While other addictions, such as alcohol and drug abuse, are more widely known and understood, food addiction, and, binge eating, isn’t. Hope this blog post and Dr. Glenn Livingston, author of “Never Binge Again” helps.

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Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-loose-weight-without-dieting/

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-get-rapid-results-by-eating-your-largest-frogs-first/

August 26, 2022October 21, 2022

How Ketogenic Diet Helps Reverse Diabetes

Thom King, Founder of the Steviva brands and author of the book “Guy Gone Keto” explains the, Ketogenic Diet, and how it helps reverse, diabetes, alleviates Alzheimer’s and dementia.

Your body, the human body has the ability to burn two types of fuel. Your body can burn glucose or your body can burn, ketones,. So in the absence of glucose in your body, that’s when the switch goes on and you start to burn, ketones.

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I’m sure a lot of people are like what the heck are, ketones,? Ketones, are actually metabolized fat. Your liver produces ketones by metabolizing fat; so basically if you are eating a high-fat diet, lots of butter, coconut oil, avocados etc. your liver is actually metabolizing those fats and turning them into, ketones, that is a, ketogenic diet,

Your body operates very efficiently on, ketones, you have these little cells in your body called, mitochondria, that probably sounds very fancy; but think of, mitochondria, as the little batteries that powers your cells. They’re found in every living thing on the face of the planet and the more you feed your, mitochondria, the more energy you have. If the, mitochondria, live on, ketones, then you want more, ketones, in your, diet. In the, ketogenic diet, you’re able to produce more energy from your, mitochondria, and this elevates brain function.

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I would say that the biggest benefit of the, ketogenic diet, is elevated brain function and, cognitive function.

The, ketogenic diet, not only reverses the, Diabetes epidemic; but it also alleviates Alzheimer’s and dementia. People on the, ketogenic diet, also says it helps them with, brain fog, as well.

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Coconut oil, is one of the fats recommended in the, ketogenic diet, people consider, coconut oil, sort of an exogenous, ketone, but that’s not 100% true. Exogenous means that you’re taking it from the outside of your body and putting it into your body; but it’s by consuming, coconut oil, that your body or your liver actually metabolizes that, coconut oil. The liver then converts that over to, ketones, and so you’ll feel an instant rush of energy.

The, Ketogenic Diet, and Sweeteners.

The main benefit of, ketones, and the, ketonic diet, is reducing our intake of sugar. We want to reduce glucose and carbohydrates in our blood.

One of the ways to do this is to not use sugar, but use an alternative. Thom King is the founder of the Steviva Brands.

The, ketogenic diet, benefit from healthy sweeteners like Steviva because your body can’t turn it into glucose.

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The, ketogenic diet, comprises of 70% fat, 20% protein and 10% carbohydrates. The carbohydrates should come from cruciferous vegetables like broccoli, cauliflower, kale, brussels sprouts etc.; not sweeteners like sugar.

Anything that grows above the ground is essentially good to eat in the, ketogenic diet, if it grows under the ground, it is probably going to be too high on the glycemic index and you don’t want to eat it.

One the biggest principles in the, ketogenic diet, is going to be avoiding sugar, because sugar will take your body out of ketosis. You want to deprive your body of sugar, so it forces your body to burn fat for energy, and that is where alternative sweeteners come in.

Some of the sweeteners that we use would be Stevia, some of them are monk fruit which comes from a natural fruit from Southeast Asia. We also use Organic Erythritol is a natural sweetener found in fruits and fermented foods, derived from fermented corn. It’s about 70 percent of sweeter than sugar; but doesn’t have any calories to speak of and no impact on blood sugar.

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We work with a lot of different sweeteners but probably the one that I’m most excited about right now is called Keto Sweet Plus, it is a blend of Monk fruit and Stevia, and you can use this just like you would sugar. So, if you’re baking and you need something to rise, it will do that. It also engages in fermentation. It also participates in what’s called my yard effect! That is the interaction of proteins and fats which creates caramelization. So, when you’re barbecuing, and you slather on a bunch of barbecue sauce you’ll notice that you get like the hard shell. You know it gets crispier than is actually that is. That is a function of the artifact, and so this particular sweetener works well in baking and condiments, and it’s been my go-to sweetener over the past couple years and works well with the, ketogenic diet,

If you head over to www.steviva.com you will find hundreds of recipes, you adopt them as your own. All of them are part of the, ketogenic diet, with low carb recipes.

Guy Gone Keto and the Ketogenic Diet,

Guy Gone Keto I would say it’s a guidebook. It is my journal from eating bad foods and being 40 lbs overweight to becoming healthy again. I was carrying 40 pounds of extra weight, getting, brain fog, my blood pressure was 190 over 99 and at that point it’s like I need to make a change.

So I just started journaling about it and a year later I had a book, and months after that I had a publisher.

I do have some recipes and meal plans for the, ketogenic diet, but I would say that the premise of the book is more the steps or even the tools that you will need to make a lifestyle change.

I started reading your book and it reminded me of Mel Robbins book the “5 Sec Rule” In the beginning of her book she shares her story of what her life looked like before she found the “5 sec rule” your book Guy Gone Keto, you started off in the same way sharing your story. It makes the readers connect with you more.

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Download to listen to the full interview and hear more details of the, ketogenic diet, and how it helps reverse the Diabesity epidemic.

Transform your mind Podcast iTunes — Download on iTunes

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-loose-weight-without-dieting/

https://www.wholesomeyum.com/low-carb-keto-diet-plan-how-to-start-a-low-carb-diet/

October 12, 2021October 12, 2021

How to Use Your Words To Change Eating Habits

The, words, that I used all the time was “I shouldn’t have eaten that”. Then I always pray to God for help to stop me from, binge eating. I didn’t want to, eat, all of that food, so I became like almost obsessive about, dieting, and my, relationship with food.

My guest today is Isabel Chiara.

This post is about transforming self-destructive eating behaviors with self-compassionate dialogue.

Listen to the full interview here:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/episodes/9356698

Introduction Eat Your Words

Isabel’s new book EAT YOUR WORDS is not the typical, self-help diet book, Instead, Isabel’s approach is a more narrative, semi-autobiographical exploration of the sensual-and-painful relationship to food so many of us can’t escape. The book expertly coaches from life lessons and experiences of the uber-relatable curvaceous girl entry into womanhood. Her hearty Italian appetite make for a complex-carb tale about the depth of our relationship with self-nourishment.

Myrna: Isabel, can you share with our listeners your own journey through, body shaming, and self-discovery?

Isabel: Of course. In my own journey, food, eating and, dieting, has always been a big point of contention my whole life. It was through this non-acceptable way that I eat and always focus on the food. I always guilty after eating, like I shouldn’t have eaten it.

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Your Words are important

I started using, words, like there’s a certain way to, eat, there’s a certain way to be with food, and, diet. Each day I try to do it, there was always a new, diet. That is what has been the journey of my life. It’s been a journey of the kind of needs to come to terms with on some level and I think the, body shaming, was me telling myself my body is this way because I ate all that food.

Many times in my book, my main character, I say she’s walking around with no head. This is to highlight that sometimes we are disconnected our head from our body. It’s a very common feeling or a life existence that is happening on some level. It’s kind of introspection book on the whole journey of the, body shaming, and coming to terms with the body, mind and spirit on some level.

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Eat Your Words: Stop the negative self talk

Myrna: How did you transition from walking around kind of discombobulated – which is a word where you’re not connected and then you got to the point where you’re going to, eat your words, because you’re not going to be telling yourself these negative things about food. What was your transition? Did you go to a Therapist?

Isabel: There have been a million people involved in this process, because you’re always a person with focus and you’re always trying to come up with a resolution to stop, self destructive eating. It’s almost like I became a researcher. It was really a journey of finding what was really in my own soul, what was I really like?

What’s up with me?
What’s bothering me?
What’s the pain about?
What am I trying to stuff down with food?

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

The Mind Body Connection to Dieting

If your body and mind are disconnected, you can’t even figure out what your, words, are saying to you. I saying to myself on a daily basis, a lot of negative, words, about myself and my body. I saying these, words, to myself before I, eat, and after I, eat.

What happens is when you take yourself to task on some level, when you start to really become conscious, you notice your, words. First thing I became conscious was I knew I needed to be in my body. Because when you are out of your body you eat unconsciously. For different people, it’s different things. I started to work out because I needed to feel my body and I was out of it.

The other thing was, as long as you’re feeling your body, then you get to hear your, words, and what you’re saying to yourself. So, the, words, started to become more conscious. What I have realized lately is that to be out of your body, you have to be really busy with things. If you’re busy, then you also have those, words, that are saying – oh! I’m so busy, I didn’t, eat, all day long and I’m starving. Now, I have a permission to just, eat, whatever I want, wherever I want and it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter which is what we say to ourselves.

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Self destructive Eating

Myrna: Where did your, self destructive eating, habits come from? I know you mentioned that you’re Italian and, Italian food, has a lot of carbs and pastas and things like that. Is that where your, eating habits, came from?

Isabel: Yes, except for Italians are for the most part are thin! I mean I’m in the restaurant business. I started my whole life in a family restaurant business, so my focus in life became food. At an early age, when we made food, we made huge meals. I never knew what a, portion size, was like. I never used the, words, portion size, until I was in my 30s and 40s!

I would go to my friend’s homes and they would have like a bit of rice, or a bit of meat. I was like confused when I was younger, because that was never what happened at our house. I understand now the, portion size, mentality that really showed up in my whole scope of thought. My whole thought pattern shifted.

I was no longer eating like I was at an you can eat buffet. My, eating habits, as a child made me end up with this buffet mentality.

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Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast — Podbean

Coping with Words and Body Shaming

Myrna: At some point in time, you developed, body shame. You took me through your self-discovery, how did you use your, words, to stop, body shaming and accepting that you are a curvaceous girl?

Isabel: Body shaming, comes when you start a comparison with other people who are a certain size. You see people in a certain way and then you start looking at yourself as different. Each time you talk to people, you’re like wait, why don’t I look like you? But it doesn’t matter because we already internalized that there’s something wrong with us.

Whatever we look like, we want to be someone else. People start to say oh, for a little girly you’re eating a lot. Then you start to make a correlation with; I’m eating a lot, there’s weight here and there’s something wrong with what’s happening in me. I’m not okay and that’s how one starts to develop, body shame.

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Self destructive binge eating

Myrna: Why do you think we purposely distract ourselves when making food choices to the detriment of our health and, binge eating?

Isabel: I’m not a psychologist, I just know. I’ve been looking at this behavior for a long time. What I think is that we distract ourselves because we don’t want to feel the things that is going on in our life. I think a lot of times, when we do choose, binge eating, we are actually eating food as a distraction.

Maybe the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing kind of thing. A lot of times, we start to, eat, because we start to feel something’s coming up. It doesn’t matter what it is, it could be happy, it could be sad, it could be like anger and/or even bored. I, eat, when I’m bored.

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Notice what going on in your body before you eat that food

When there’s nothing going on, there’s still something going on in your body. If there’s something going on your body, but you’re not present to it or you don’t want to know what it is or what for every reason, you’re not used to it. I think a lot of times people don’t recognize their feelings or they judge their feelings.

I’m a night time eater. I could do all day long with no food (because every emotion from the day maybe was just piled up), but at night, I’m like a wreck for that. Not for nighttime or for that one time and it’s all starting to come up and then we’re like let’s just go for it and we start, binge eating.

Myrna: Yes, that has been my biggest struggle for a long period of time. I couldn’t stop eating at night. It’s a little under control now, but that was my biggest struggle for a while.

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Diet and Nutrition

Isabel: I decided to lose the word, diet. I decided to do something different for myself which eventually added more nourishment and nutrition to my day. I first started with being in my body, and then I used my, words, to say let me give myself food instead of saying, I’m going to take away food and I’m not going to eat this.

I started giving myself different foods, I allowed myself to have more nutritious foods and I started creating a new mindset. This new mindset was alright. I was totally resistant to this, but I started finding a place that had green drinks. I could have green drinks which took the edge off of hunger and it made me feel in my body. So, instead of going into the business of my whole day, I’m going to add a green drink. Just one thing, I added nutrition instead of taking something away, I was going to give myself things.

If someone once likes eating at night, instead of having the bad things we want to, eat, at night you and what would you give what did you give yourself to replace that because a green drink. Just starting to give yourself other more nutritional things maybe you want to give yourself more vegetables than that and rice.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Using Your Words to Change your Mindset

Myrna: How can those of us struggling with, weight gain, and a pure relationship to food face the issue head-on?

Isabel: The first thing I say is to, change your mindset. Start creating an intention for yourself and start creating a, mindset, that you’re in the middle of the process. I always like to say we’re always in the middle of the process and that we are shifting. We’re always shifting and we’re always changing, even though it looks really bad – it always looks really bad before it gets really good. We’re going to start to use the right, words.

Myrna: Tell us about your book “Eat Your Words”, why you wrote it and what do you want someone that’s reading it to walk away with?

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Book: Eat your Words

Isabel: The book was a way to be conscious for myself like it really was. I wrote it for myself like a journal. I was really writing a book, but it was the stories of my life. So the goal was for me to get to some kind of resolution in my life. The stories are for people to really understand that they’re not struggling in this arena by themselves. This is really to bring the behaviors to consciousness and to show anybody that he/she is not the only one going through this. I mean most of the world is going through this on some level.

Now you become conscious of what the, words, are and how they affected our behaviors and through that, there is healing that can be done when you see something that somebody else is doing and you hear what their process is. I bring up a lot of processes.

Myrna: Where does the, “Eat Your Words,” come from? I’m assuming it’s internal dialogue.

Isabel: “Eat Your Words,” is internal dialogue and it starts at the origins of the family.

Myrna: It’s all about inner dialogue? But the inner dialogue as you can imagine is kind of runs your life and it could be conscious or unconscious.

Isabel: It wasn’t so sometimes.

Myrna: It’s unconscious right?

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Isabel: It was the, words, that I would say, as my mantra was, oh I don’t care. The biggest, words, were “oh I don’t care”. However, once you start saying I don’t care, it doesn’t just apply to what you are eating. It really becomes what you start to say to yourself, the, words, you use.

I don’t care,
Oh I don’t care about myself
So I don’t care what I put in my body.
Anyway I don’t care what becomes of my life.

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Conclusion

Myrna: How can readers connect with you and get a copy of your book?

Isabel: If anyone wants to get the first chapter of my book, just to see if they like it or if it works for them, they can go to https://isabel-chiara.com, on that page, they could download the first chapter for free or they could just buy the book on Amazon.

We also have a membership site called Healing and Activation Process Integrations. Happy place is what I call it. It’s going to be a lot of processes that are going to help people to get inside of themselves. It can move things and look at things differently and channel them differently.

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Additional Resources

How Ketogenic Diet Helps Reverse Diabetes

October 4, 2021October 4, 2021

How to Maintain Sustainable Weight Loss

Weight loss, and related challenges is not about, nutrition, but are projections of deeper rooted emotional and psychological challenges.

PAUL SALTER is a Registered Dietitian, Coach, Author, and, Sustainable Weight Loss, Expert, believes that, weight loss, and it’s related challenges, aren’t related to lack of nutrition or knowledge; but are actually projections of deeper rooted emotional and psychological challenges. We won’t be able to confidently maintain, weight loss, until those challenges are acknowledged and overcome. His passion is helping men and women just like you re-frame their thoughts and reshape their behaviors so that they can transform their relationship with food and dieting, and finally, lose weight, once and for all.

Download the full interview here:

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In this audio and blog, we’re going to be discussing how to guarantee a successful, weight loss, how to lose weight, and keep it off.

Since 2013, Paul’s worked one-on-one with over 1,437 men and women just like you who have collectively lost more than 10,000 pounds, thousands of inches, and maintained their results.

Myrna: What’s your story? You look pretty lean and fit. Did you have a problem with, weight loss, at one point and how did you become a, sustainable weight loss, expert?

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Paul: Yes, I appreciate the kind of words. I have quite an interesting and diverse journey. For me, it started off with a late growth spurt. What I mean by that is at 16 years old, as a multi-sport athlete, I was about 5 foot 1 and 110 pounds.

Paul’s Story: Becoming a Weight Loss Expert

As you can imagine it was quite challenging to keep up with all of my peers who were bigger, stronger and faster than me. It finally clicked one day, and I don’t know why. I like to give my mother all the credit for what I was eating and putting into my body. This, nutrition, enabled me to perform better during sport practices and competition. I was able to keep up with everyone despite the size disadvantage that they had. I took that nugget of knowledge with me and carried it into College, where I shared my new found love for exercise, weight lifting, and, nutrition, with friends.

Quickly I realized that my peer group was turning to me more often than not for advice related to, nutrition, and, weight lifting. It finally dawned on me that maybe I could get paid to just talk about, nutrition, and, weight lifting, all day. That was how I began to study for my, personal training, certification. I still remember to this day exactly where I was reading and I believe it was chapter 23 of the big exam book, it was called, sports nutrition.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Using Sports Nutrition for Weight Loss

That was my light bulb or the moment that I finally realized there are actually people out there who are helping others or helping even athletes pay attention to what they’re eating and when they’re eating, so that they can feel look and perform at their very best.

The very next week, I went into my supervisor (counselor’s office) declared my major in, dietetics, and then went down the path of studying, nutrition. I really wanted to get into, sports nutrition. At the time there were only seven, sports dietitians, in the whole nation. Crazy to think about right? So, it was definitely a very new area of focus, but I was fortunate enough to be proactive and a bit aggressive.

If you will put my resume everywhere to meet the right people to lead me through a path as a, sports nutrition, expert. I spent time in a hospital as a, dietician, I knew that wasn’t for me, but that was part of a, dietitian, training so I had to do it. I also spent a lot of time doing competitive body building as I went through this journey of self-discovery.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

This is where I started to really understand the holistic, specifically the emotional and psychological impact that, dieting, has on people. When we finish a, diet, trying to return, I guess to a sense of normalcy is a lot easier said than done. This revelation birthed if you will a passion for helping people, maintain weight loss .

How to Lose Weight: The Definition of Diet

Myrna: Alright, so let’s transition to our topic for today. As I said, we’re going to be focusing a lot on, diet, and, nutrition.

What is the, definition of diet? I know it fluctuates How does the, definition of diet, affect us, maintain weight loss?

I ask the question because, diet, is the number one influencing factor that people can’t maintain, weight loss. They go on a, diet, and six months later, they’re back to the same weight or even sometimes they gain more. What’s that about?

Paul: I think there’s two major driving forces behind this occurrence. The first one fits right into the, definition of diet. It’s a perfect opportunity to talk about this because there are actually two definitions to the word, “diet”.

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Diet – Eating fewer calories to Lose Weight

There’s one that we are all so familiar with – which is intentionally eating fewer calories to, lose weight. That’s the one that the, weight loss, industry promotes very heavily and tries, for lack of better words to brainwash us with.

The second definition is simply “a habitual way of eating, “and the best example I like to describe to illustrate that definition difference is a vegetarian or someone who follows a, plant-based diet, doesn’t necessarily mean that said person is eating to try to, lose weight.

What that, diet, encompasses is a lifestyle, a foundation of healthy behaviors in a healthy relationship related to our food choices. Where we all go wrong as a whole population, is we focus on the former definition only (i.e. intentionally eating to, lose weight)

What happens as a result of focusing on the wrong definition, is we develop a very short-term focus. Where things go wrong is we commit ourselves to:

30-day cleanse,
90-day transformation
a 12-week this and that.
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Dieting to Lose Weight is a Major Stressor on the Body

After you complete your 30 day cleanse or your 90 day transformation, motivation has now waned, excitement has now waned and now you realize you do not have a foundation of healthy eating habits to fall back upon. So you fall back on your past lifestyle and then the weight comes back.

Myrna: Okay, you’re saying that the, weight, comes back because they eat and fall back on their bad food choices, but I’ve been told or read that a lot of times, people gain the weight back because they changed their metabolism. The lowered their, metabolic rate, from, dieting. Can you talk on that?

Paul: One of the biggest things that we have to remember is that, dieting, is a major psychological and emotional stressor. Your body wants nothing more than to bring you out of that, diet. What happens when we begin eating fewer calories to initiate, weight loss, our body starts to enter this protective mode. It begins to hoard food and anytime we get excess calories it holds onto them for dear life, and store them to protect itself from future stress of starvation.

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How Dieting affects your Metabolic Rate

What happens is when we begin, dieting, our body wants to conserve energy and the way this manifests is simply our, metabolic rate, or the number of calories we burn per day begins to slowly decline. What also happens is there are hormonal changes that actually make you hungrier and less likely to want to stay on track with your plan. Our cravings increase. Our body is almost like a professional kick boxer, it’s going to punch and kick from any angle to fight, to get you out of that calorie deficit and you have to be prepared to handle the punches.

The kicks maybe head butts. The occasional elbow who knows what? That’s basically why you gain back the, weight loss, faster because you’re changing your cylinder structure.

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The #1 Reason Diets fail

Myrna: Would you say that’s the number one mistake that people make that leads to regaining the, weight loss?

Paul: The #1 reason, why diets fail, is this. I think it’s important to note, diet, to really initiate, weight loss, you have to be in a calorie deficit or there has to be some form of calorie restriction. . It’s literally an essential step, but what happens is, the harsher your, calorie restriction, or the longer your restriction, your body is so dynamic and adapts quickly.

Let me give a numerical example to help. Let’s say somebody’s eating 2000 calories per day, they decide they want to lose weight and they slowly drop their calories to 1600 or 1200, maybe even a 1000. People get too excited and make such harsh changes in their, calorie restriction, that their body adapts so quickly and then when they get to day 91 for example, and they just return to their old eating habits now, they’ve been accustomed to eating a thousand calories per day.

They go right up to 2000 calories or even more. Like I mentioned earlier, their body just wants to hold on to all of those excess calories to protect them and there comes the, weight gain. That’s the number one reason, why diets fail, harshly restricting calories.

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The proper way to Lose Weight

Myrna: Do you have another suggestion on the proper way to, lose weight?

Paul: Absolutely. The two points to keep in mind, the first is you want to try to, lose weight, eating as many calories as possible. Let me explain, I know that sounds a little funny.

Myrna: That’s what you call a paradox or something.

Paul: Yes like an oxymoron.

Myrna: Okay I got it. What’s the difference between a, pre maintenance diet, and, post diet maintenance? You just talked about the, post diet maintenance, phase which is where you gradually bring your calorie level back up so that your body can get accustomed to all this. What you’re doing to it? What should we do as a, pre diet maintenance?

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What is the Pre diet maintenance Phase

Paul: Fantastic question. The way I like to talk about a, pre-diet maintenance, phase is when somebody comes to me and it’s about 99% of those I work with, they say hey I want to lose X amount of weight and I want to lose it yesterday.

It’s typical we want all of our results yesterday. When I go through their questionnaire and have these initial conversations with them, I get a really good picture of their current foundation of eating habits and relationship with food. More often than not, people who want to start a diet don’t really have any foundation in place.

Maybe they’re dining out seven times a week or they’re skipping meals here and there, and then they’re binging later etc. So, this, pre-diet maintenance, phase is a point or an opportunity rather to start building a unique, sustainable weight loss, structure for that individual and because changing habits can be a stressful process on its own.

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Pre Diet Maintenance reduces stress

We don’t want to add additional layers of stress from, calorie deficit, like as we just mentioned that’s a psychological emotional and physiological stressor on its own, so it’s during the, pre diet maintenance, phase we’re not trying to, lose weight, whatsoever. We’re simply working on rebuilding a foundation of healthy eating habits, one that is unique and sustainable and also reframing or rebuilding our relationship with foods.

Myrna: Is this a diet?

Paul: Yes.

Myrna: Explain that so that someone’s reading can understand what that means.

Paul: Absolutely. In the 10 plus years of doing this, working with 1400 plus people those who have had the most success, it all boils down to three common principles and that’s related to the foundation of their food and eating habits. Those principles are:

simplicity,
individualization and
sustainability.

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Weight Loss Mindset

If you and I for example, we’re working together from day one I’m really going to ask you a lot of questions, challenge you to think differently about what an ideal day of eating, nourishing your mind and body, your soul looks like. I am looking to see you, weight loss mindset.

For example, maybe you only want to eat three times per day, maybe your best friend eats five times per day and you want to do the same. So, we focus on you, we really build a structure that is unique to you. If you want to eat three times per day, great. I’m going to have collected information about what your eating looks like.

I’m going to be able to identify what I like to call areas of focus or areas for growth. And then we’re going to start with the one I feel is the most important and that’s going to give you the quickest win right away. We’re going to take that and we’re going to build positive momentum before we move to the next one.

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Protein is important in your Weight Loss plan

One of the most common ones I get is a person coming to me under eating protein. So, I look for ways to add in protein throughout the day. I even like to say sneak protein in so you can reap the many benefits protein has to offer without making some completely upheaval change to your current approach to, nutrition, and eating.

Myrna: Alright, I got it. You’re just getting them maybe in touch with what they’re eating and getting them into starting the, diet, phase and maybe even seeing if they can follow it to be quite honest.

Paul: If you are going to, diet, and then maintain your ,weight loss, successfully, you should probably only spend about one percent of the rest of your life ever, dieting. Think about that for a minute, if you do one good diet and you learn how to, maintain weight loss, you never have to, diet, again which is fantastic.

Myrna: That’s where you’re talking about lifestyle right?

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Post Diet Maintenance

Paul: Yes. During the, post diet maintenance, phase, we want to pay attention to the gradual increases in your calories. Your portions to get you back to a level that supports everything you want to do and to live life to the fullest. But during this time too, we need to really put a lot of attention and time into redefining what normal or balance or moderation looks like for you as an individual.

We view each of those through the lens of sustainability, so that, weight loss, maintenance continues to happen as you operate on this new version of autopilot with your eating, exercise, and self-care habits.

Myrna: In your program do you include exercise or just a, nutrition, plan?

Paul: We focus a lot on, nutrition, but we actually focus a lot more on the emotion, behavioral and mindset aspects.

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Myrna: This whole, sustainable weight loss, equation entails so not much on exercise right?

Paul: Yes, the brain and the mindset.

Myrna: Someone coming into your program:

You help them with the, pre diet maintenance,
Put them on a, diet, to reduce calories
They lose 20 pounds
The, post diet maintenance, phase kicks in where it’s a lifestyle shift. If they do those three things, the million dollar question. Is, weight loss, sustainable?

Paul: Here’s the one thing I’ll include before someone enters our community and program. Before they receive instructions and the individual one-on-one care to build out their, pre-diet maintenance phase, they actually spend the first couple of months not even focusing on, nutrition.

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Understanding your relationship with food

We spend a lot of time up here and I’m pointing to my head and my heart. I am really looking to understand their past. How for example their childhood traumas, relationships with parents, guardians, friends and their environment shaped their current relationship with food.

We use this time as an opportunity to shine a big bright spotlight of awareness on some of the ways our past experience is affecting self-talk, limiting beliefs, thought counterproductive habits. We spend a lot of time there first before even getting to the, nutrition, because, if we can start making changes, they’re going to accumulate and compound over time.

Myrna: Tell our readers about your program, how you can help them maintain their, weight loss, goals and how they can contact you.

How the 5 Community Help you with your weight loss goals

Paul: Absolutely. My core focus where I eat, sleep, breathe and live these days is called the, 5 Community. This is where we work with high achieving women specifically mothers, to help them reclaim their confidence, their inner peace and calm through learning how to rebuild not only their relationship with food and dieting; but most importantly, the relationship with themselves, so they can, lose weight, reclaim their energy and truly feel, look and be their best.

The ways we do this is our central focus of the course. There is plenty of coaching such as:

one-on-one time,
online continuing therapeutic and
transformational curriculum that is with them every step of the way, but truly the magic comes within our community. When you surround yourself with a like-minded in a group of like-minded individuals truly is an opportunity to time collapse your results.

One of the worst things that I’ve observed happening specifically with the mothers I’ve worked with over the years, is they develop this sense that they are alone.

But when you surround yourself with like-minded individuals, you can actually restore hope, restore feelings that change is possible and it’s through the collaborative accountable and supportive efforts amongst our community. We’ve really seen some fantastic sustainable changes and of course on the scale, and in the mirror; but more importantly in mindset, relationship and emotions related to food eating and just simply being the best version of us.

The best place to connect and engage with me is on Instagram @paulsaltercoaching. The best website is going to be www.thepaulsalter.com

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Conclusion

Paul: Remember to trust yourself. The difference between an appropriate portion size and maybe a not so appropriate portion size is that you already know what to do. Before you spend your money and time energy and effort, trying to outsource to fad, diet, A B or C, focus on making one tiny positive change that is geared towards helping you feel a little better.

When you make that change successfully, then insert another one and you’re going to start to build, positive momentum, because when you begin feeling better, your energy comes up. Your confidence comes up, you’re just exuding this different level of energy that has a nice positive ripple effect on other areas of your life. Now, we’re talking about creating a win-win-win situation

Additional Resources

Health is Wealth: How to lose weight without Dieting

May 26, 2021May 26, 2021

Learn How to Get Back to Basics With These 7 Core Values

In order to transform your life, you must first transform your, mindset, by getting, back to basics. The principle here is that there’s a, mindset connection, that we need to make for these seven elements to become our, core values.

The reason that people are not activating the, basics, in their life is because there isn’t a personal, connection. The, mindset, happens before any strategy or tactic can form our, core values.

My guest today is T.J Loeffler is a transformational coach and author.

Listen to the full interview here:

T.J realized the right path is actually a change in, mindset, so he wrote the book “Back To Basics: How To Get More Out Of Your Life by Doing Less Than You Think” T.J’s seminar called “Welcome to Yourself” was inspiration from God about establishing our, core values.

Our identity “who am I” as the first step in “Welcome to Yourself. Our identity does shape our decisions which then shapes our legacy, our day-to-day priorities and our, core values.

Your past equals your present, if you keep stumbling and hitting your foot on the same thing, until you clarify it and see it, you’re going to continue doing that.

Transform your Mind Podcast Index

How do we go from “Welcome To Yourself” to “back to basics”?

T.J – Success is really about progress not perfection. Getting, back to basics, started because I was burned out. I was exhausted, and I needed to heal. I realized that until I went through the process of actually healing, changing and growing myself, there would be no way I’d be able help somebody else. I needed to reflect on my, core values.

That’s how, back to basics, came about, it’s like put on your mask first. You’ve got to heal yourself. You’ve got to be able to become whole again by focusing on your, core values.

The seven Core Value System

I teach about the seven, core values, elements or the, core pillar, system.

These are the key elements in the, back-to-basics, model.

Diet
Sleep
Movement
Active rest
Reflection
Connection
Fun

How do we define FUN

Fun, is an interesting one, somebody who’s reading this might say okay that sounds kind of cheesy; but let me tell you exactly what I mean. People who grew up in homes where there was extreme anxiety or anxiousness, guess what goes first, fun.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

So, people who don’t know how to return to joy in their life, might have grown up in an environment that was not necessarily healthy, and they learned how to cope with that by doing things that are no longer working for them, like over working. So when you use that, fun, tool of, back to basics, it puts the, fun, back into your life.

Connection and Back to Basics

The principle here is that there’s a, mindset connection, that we need to make to these seven elements our, core values.

The reason that people are not activating the, basics, and, core values, in their life is because there isn’t a personal, connection. The, mindset, happens before any strategy or tactic.

So, when you’re asking how do people get, back to basics? The first thing you need to do is to recognize the need to prioritize your, core values.

I would prioritize my day, when I didn’t know what I was doing. I was trying to figure out how do you grow a business; how to get more clients? I prioritized learning how to eat right, and eat on time and have enough energy in my own life.

A Healthy Diet is a Core Value

Diet – If you don’t eat right, you have no energy.

When it comes to vitamins and minerals, you’re probably looking for the bottom line: How much do you need, and what foods have them? The list below will help you out. It covers all the vitamins and minerals you should get, preferably from food. Calcium Foods that have it: Milk, fortified nondairy alternatives like soy milk, yogurt, hard cheeses, fortified cereals, unfortified almond milk, kaleHow much you need:

Adults ages 19-50: 1,000 milligrams per day
Women age 51 and older: 1,200 milligrams per day
Men age 51 – 70: 1,000 milligrams per day
Men 71 and older: 1,200 milligrams per day

What it does: Needed for bone growth and strength, blood clotting, muscle contraction, and more

Don’t get more than this a day: 2,500 milligrams per day for adults age 50 and younger, 2,000 mg per day for those 51 and older

Choline

Foods that have it: Milk, liver, eggs, peanuts

How much you need:

Men: 550 milligrams per day
Women: 425 milligrams per day
Pregnant women: 450 milligrams per day
Breastfeeding women: 550 milligrams per day

What it does: Helps make cells Don’t get more than this much: 3,500 milligrams per day

Sleep is important to reduce Stress and is a core value

Sleep – If you don’t, sleep, then you can’t function. Movement and exercise that’s obviously very important to, fun.

Highly successful people can have all the money in the bank and still can’t have, fun.

What’s the difference between active rest and sleep?

When you’re actually sleeping, there’s a fluid that washes over our brain and actually, helps us detoxify or take out some of the toxic thoughts that are built up as proteins in our brain. So, if we’re chronically under-slept, we’re allowing this protein not to do its job.

I don’t know if this is a scientific parallel equivalent, but you could think about this protein as kind of plaque buildup in your brain. If we are not sleeping well enough, if we’re not sleeping long enough, we’re not getting the cleansing that needs to happen in our brain, so we end up with what negative thinking.

If we continue over to, active rest, a lot of people that we’re working with are hyperactive. Hyperactive is the opposite of hypoactive, so when you think about hypoactive that’s more like reclusive or lazy.

People who are wired to be hyperactive or have taught themselves that this is how I get through hard situations that’s not a bad thing, however your body is not meant to be in a state of fight flight or freeze. So unless we can move from sympathetic tone towards parasympathetic tone or from fight flight to rest and digest state, our body is not going to be able to process things the right way.

Fight Flight or Freeze prevents digestion

For example, your nutrients from your food. You can eat all the kale and salmon you want, but if your body is in, fight flight, or freeze state you’re not going to be digesting that food properly.

So, active rest, helps you down regulate, it helps you go from that state of, fight flight or freeze, where you might be anxious or you might be shallow mouth breathing to a state where you’re more rested while awake.

Body meditation is now a trend, because people are over stimulated and they need a way to effectively down regulate. Here’s the key it’s like you’re hijacking your body your mind and your body have a, connection, that you need to make and many people have lost that, connection.

Active Rest is not Meditation

Active rest, helps you kind of re-establish that as does movement and other things.

The, mind-body connection, is what yoga does.

We’re coming through a, pandemic, it’s going on now for over a year. Many people might be feeling the consequences of that. You can feel isolated and alone in a city of 8 million people.

The key for, connection, is not quantity it is quality. The problem is people try and find, connection, through others before finding, connection, with God. It’s not that you can’t have, connection, with God through others, but it’s that there’s an intimate personal encounter that God wants to have with us.

Connection to God should be a core value

We host the presence of God, you’re connected to him wherever you go, but there’s really a development and cultivation that needs to happen to learn how to host the presence of God.

A lot of people do not understand the authority they have over the atmosphere in their home for example. They do not understand the awareness, or they don’t have the awareness to understand the environments that they’re entering into every single day.

I think research has shown that we do need people, it’s nice to have a relationship with God, but we actually do need people.

What is your research on loneliness?

Even though you might be spiritually connected to God, you still need people.

Tell our listeners how they can connect with you. You said that your book is delayed, but tell us about your first book and your website, coaching and your podcast.

Conclusion

If anybody listening or reading, first I hope first and foremost you receive what was shared today from Myrna and me as seeds. That’s my encouragement to you that when you receive seeds, you can let those seeds grow to trees and over time you know that is really something that you look at in your life. Let those seeds become your, core values.

If you want more seeds, you can go to my site is tjloeffler.com and there you’ll find not only the podcast, but you’ll also find access to everything else that Myrna mentioned, and the podcast is just a great way to start. The podcast is a great way to continue working on your mindset. My podcast is called Mindset with T.J Loefler.

You can listen to the podcast or you can purchase the book from my website corepillars.com. It’s called “Back to basics how to get more out of life by doing less than you think” teaching you the, core pillar, system.

I also want to invite you guys to join my Facebook group Lifecoach. If you have not done so already please subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review.

My team and I were referencing this scripture and I would like to leave this with you. I believe this will be encouraging to somebody who’s reading this blog.

1 Timothy 6:6, NIV: “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” … 1 Timothy 6:6, NLT: “Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth.”

When we find contentment with what we have and no need for more, we know that we can truly rest in God’s presence, however I would also say if you’re reading this and you do have a desire for more, that’s a healthy desire.

So, godliness with contentment is great, but you don’t have to be satisfied, there’s more out there so keep going.

Additional Resources

Ask Coach Myrna: How to Start Over?

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

February 11, 2021March 22, 2021

Health is Wealth: How to lose weight without Dieting

Health is wealth, If you don’t have your, health, no amount of wealth can buy it. A healthy, weight, is an indication of health so today we are talking about, how to lose weight, without dieting.

Listen to full interview here:

Health is Wealth

Think about it. Most of us dream about becoming wealthy but would you trade your ability to walk for a million dollars? I know I wouldn’t.

The second way we could look at the phrase, health is wealth, is that you can be healthy but poor and still be happy. On the flip side, you can have copious amounts of wealth, but if you don’t have your, health, you would willingly trade all your money to feel good or be healthy again.

So the message in this, health is wealth, series is, You can’t just trash your body and then try to alleviate the evidence of disease.

Healthy Weight Loss

Health, is not the absence of disease, disease is the absence of, health.

What is, health? According to the dictionary, health, is fitness of body or mind, and freedom from disease or ailment. It can be body fitness, or mental fitness.

What is wealth? In the same dictionary the meaning of, wealth, is stated as “a great quantity of money, valuable possessions, property, or other riches.

So in the first episode of this series we and going to unpack how your, health is your wealth,. To start off this series, our topic today is “How to Lose Weight, without dieting”

How to Lose Weight when you Have an Eating Disorder

Myrna – Dr Nina. What led you to do this work?

At a very young age, I suddenly and randomly developed an obsession with my size. I thought that my thighs should be thinner and I thought if my thighs were smaller, I would be perfect. By the way, I was a perfectly normal weight. But I became convinced that thinner legs would somehow make me better. This obsession just got worse as I got older and by the time I was an adolescent, I had full blown, eating disorder. My last thought at night was what did I eat today. I would fall asleep counting the calories and fat grams of my food intake for the day and figuring how to, lose weight,

The scale was my most welcome friend and my biggest enemy, it ruled my life. So much so that when I went hiking with friends or did anything fun like dancing, I would focus on how many calories I was burning instead of how much fun I was having. I would be calculating how, to loose weight,

Getting Therapy to Help Lose Weight

I would restrict restrict myself of food and then eventually I would binge and then purge. So finally I went to therapy. I would open up with my therapist about every aspect of my life except one, I never ever told her what was going on with me and food. I went to my therapist once a week for three years and I never talked about what was going with my. eating disorders.

After some time in therapy, I became aware of my feelings. I learned to process my emotions rather than to deny them. I learned to use words to comfort myself instead of using words to criticize myself. By the time I left therapy, I had zero, eating disorder, or, anorexia, issues and No unhealthy relationship to food. The amazing thing about this is that not once did I ever talked about food to my therapist. When I fixed my emotional issues, I fixed my, anorexia. So the answer to the question How to, lose weight, without, dieting, is first learning how to process your emotions instead of stuffing them down with food.

People ask me all the time. How did you recover from three, eating disorders, that consumed your life without ever talking about it? How is that possible? The answer is that whatever was going on with food and my, eating disorders, was a symptom of the actual problem, not the problem. When I learned different ways of coping with what was going on with me, I cured my, eating disorders including, anorexia.

How to, lose weight, by understanding why you eat certain finds of foods

I developed this formula to help people figure out you know what is eating them out.

If you like creamy foods like ice cream or frozen yogurt or pudding. It suggests a longing for comfort or nurturing. Limit your exposure to these foods to, lose weight,.
If you like foods that like bread, pasta, cake, pizza those are correlated to loneliness since they are bulky and they symbolically filling an internal void. Fill your internal void by finding a hobby. Doing something you like instead of eating. It will help you to, lose weight,
Finally, foods that are crunchy like chips or pretzels, anything with a crunch suggest you are angry. Dealing with your anger in a healthy way will help you to, lose weight.

The best way to deal with the triggers of emotional eating is try to understand where they’re coming from. It is the first step. The next step is to deal with those an underlying feelings of lack of self worth.

How do you see yourself?
How do you feel your loneliness?
How do you express your anger?
How do you deal with what you are feeling?

Weight Loss Tips

Nurture yourself with words instead of ice cream. If you use mean words to describe yourself and then you nurture yourself with food, it becomes a viscous cycle. You eat the ice cream and you call yourself nasty words for being so weak, then you eat again to comfort yourself.

When you feel good about yourself it’s easier to be good to yourself.

Self acceptance is the key.

The most practical thing that you can do, is to throw out your scale. It is a tyrant, it does not measure your value, it ruins your day. It has too much power over you, so getting it out of your life is a very powerful stance that you can take on your own behalf.

Download to listen to the rest of this powerful interview and learn five main reasons for diet sabotage.

Download and subscribe to hear all episodes in this series.

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Additional Resources

How to Reprogram your Mind to Stop Binge Eating

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322345.php

https://blog.myhelps.us/detoxing-both-the-body-and-soul/

https://blog.myhelps.us/tips-to-change-your-skin-change-your-life/

January 27, 2021January 13, 2021

How to Lose Weight Without Dieting

Dr Nina Savelle-Rocklin says “It’s not about willpower” In her book How to, lose weight, without, dieting, Dr Nina says dieting leads to, eating disorders.

Dr Nina is also the author of “Food for Thought” a book about the treatment of, eating disorders.

Our emotions feed our food intake. Our brain responds to emotions and feelings making it hard to, lose weight. Dr Nina is going to teach us today about how emotions affect our ability to, lose weight, and leads to, eating disorders.

In keeping with the format of my show, today my tip of the week looks at how positive emotions and negative emotions affect our daily lives.

Positive emotions or feelings can be likened to yeast in a loaf of bread. They raise your energy levels so that you can attract like thoughts floating around in the universe.

Thought impulses mixed with emotion are picked up quicker by infinite intelligence and acted upon.

7 Major emotions that helps to, Lose Weight

There are 7 major positive emotions:

Desire
Faith
Love
Sex
Enthusiasm
Romance
Hope
These are the most powerful emotions for creating wealth and happiness.

There are also 7 major negative emotions that lead to, eating disorders

Fear
Jealousy
Hatred
Revenge
Greed
Superstition
Anger

Positive and negative emotions cannot occupy the mind at the same time. One or the other must dominate. You must make sure that positive emotions constitute the dominant emotions of your mind.

Form the habit of scanning your body to determine how you are feeling. If you find negativity immediately shift to a positive thought. With practice your positive emotions will dominate and negatives cannot enter in.

Negative emotions and feelings make you feel bad and makes us over eat, and impossible to, lose weight. Feeling bad is unnatural so we try to eat something, drink something, buy something or do something to make ourselves feel better. That is the source of addictive behaviors. You need to kill the ANTS. Automatic negative thoughts.
Check out my blog at blog.myhelps.us for more information on how to control your Automatic negative thoughts.

Guest Biography

Nina Savelle-Rocklin, Psy.D. is a psychoanalyst, author, speaker and internationally-recognized expert in weight, food and body image issues.

She has been featured in the Los Angeles Times, Prevention, Real Simple, Huffington Post and many other publications, and is a frequent guest speaker on podcasts, radio, summits and other events, including the prestigious National Meeting of the American Psychoanalytic Association.

Dr. Nina’s personal experience gives her a unique understanding of what it’s like to struggle – and she knows change is possible! She brings a fresh perspective by helping people understand “why” they turn to food instead of focusing on what they’re eating. In addition to her private practice, she writes an award-winning blog, Make Peace With Food, hosts a popular podcast, Win The Diet War with Dr. Nina, and offers “food for thought” on her video series, The Dr. Nina Show.

She has contributed to two psychoanalytic books, and her book “Food For Thought” on the treatment of eating disorders is to be published by Rowman & Littlefield later this year. Check out Dr Nina on the web at https://winthedietwar.com
Can you share your history and what led you to do this work?

Show Notes:

• Topic Discussion: It’s Not About Willpower! How To, Lose Weight, Without, Dieting
•
• 2. Every year there’s a new fad diet – low carb, gluten free, Paleo. Why do you think, diets, don’t work?
•
• 3. What’s the best way to deal with food triggers that trigger, emotional eating?
•
• 4. What role does self-acceptance and self-esteem play in, weight loss?
•
• 5. For our listeners who want to make changes, what are some of the things they can do to create change?

•
• 6. A lot of people lose weight but gain it back, or they’re always in that yo-yo diet cycle. What causes people to sabotage their weight loss efforts?

How to Lose Weight Fast

Eat a high protein breakfast.
Avoid sugary drinks and fruit juice.
Drink water before meals.
Choose weight-loss-friendly foods.
Eat soluble fiber.
Drink coffee or tea.
Base your diet on whole foods.
Eat slowly.

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/motivate-yourself-with-patience-persistence-positivity/

Remember to subscribe to my channel to get notice of future life changing content.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8p2lfxF2GhOihRv8N3EZeA