Tag Archives: goal setting

5 mins with coach Myrna, happiness, Life Coaching, setting goals

Setting Goals In Clock Time vs Psychological Time

Setting goals, in, clock time, means we are not emotionally attached to them. We are able to enjoy the journey and not just the destination.  But when you, set goals, in,  psychological time, you are never fulfilled when you achieve them.  You have heard of people who, set goals, and when they attain these goals, they are only happy for a brief moment and then they are unfulfilled again. That is because they are psychologically attached to the goal. The subconscious mind is telling them that until this goal is achieved, happiness is not possible. Or until this goal is achieved, they are not successful.

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Setting goals in psychological time

Let’s say owning a house on the beach is your symbol of success and you tell yourself that until you live on the beach in a beautiful mansion, you cannot feel fulfilled or feel successful. This means that you are not going to enjoy the journey.  You are psychologically tied to living on the beach as your means to the end.

Or let’s take the goal of being married. Most women have this goal.

Marriage could be a symbol of acceptance that you are enough, because someone says you complete them, or they can’t live without you etc. Marriage could symbolize the success you dreamed of as a little girl.

But what happens when you achieve this goal? Does it create lasting happiness? The divorce rate is 50% or higher. Nothing wrong with that goal but do you stop living until you get married.  Are you enjoying all the perks of being single?

Does achieving any goal fulfill you forever? You know the answer to the question.

No it does not.

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Setting goals in clock time

That is because goals set using, psychological time, says that until this event happens, you will not be happy or successful or fulfilled.  When you achieve these goals, you are happy for a few days and then you are not.

Goals set with, psychological time, never fulfills because the goal post is always moving.

It is okay to set goals, but you must enjoy the present moment.

You must enjoy where you are now.

If you ask yourself what is lacking now, the answer should always be nothing.

Goal setting, in,  clock time, says If success comes, I will accept it, but if it doesn’t, I am okay with that too.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

That is why we can’t tell ourselves that until something happens in life then we will be happy, fulfilled, complete etc. because not only can you die waiting for this goal to manifest, but if you achieve this goal, you will still not be complete or happy. Why because you have to take care of the inside before things on the outside.

When you take care of your inside, joy is always your partner. You are happy with or without.  You are happy for the breath of life.  If you add success to this you will find fulfillment.

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How To Conquer The 5 Most Common Causes of Failure

5 mins with coach Myrna, Life Coaching, Life Coaching Blog, lifecoaching, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, setting goals

How To Conquer The 5 Most Common Causes of Failure

Failure, leaves clues so a coach can recognize your, failure symptoms. Most of us run on auto pilot. Science shows that 95% of humans operate on a subconscious level, and only 5% of us are aware and conscious of our daily actions. One of the reasons coaching is so successful is that it allows you to “know thyself” a little better by revealing your, blind spots, or areas of, unconscious patterns, including why we fail.

Most of us are unable to clearly state our abilities. We overestimate them, we underestimate them, we become complacent; we allow them to decay. Occasionally we are unaware that they exist. It is important you recognize your, failure symptoms

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Here are the 5 most common causes of failure

1: The most common cause of, failure, is to, blame, others.  Don't blame me, Victims, have no power, when you, blame, others for your, failure in life, you are saying that you have no power.

It is said that the difference between witchcraft and medicine is that when a man falls sick, witchcraft makes him ask ” who did this to me” medicine makes him ask “what did this to me”.

When we, blame, others for our, failures, we do not recognize that no one has the power to make us fail, you must accept responsibility for your part and learn from it.

Do you Blame Yourself?

2: The second cause of, failure, is the tendency to, blame oneself. We tell ourselves things like “why was I such a fool, what an easy mark I am, why do I always put my foot in my mouth etc.” For example, your marriage fails and you, blame yourself, for choosing the man in the first place. You, blame yourself, for not recognizing the red flags.

How to stop self blame:  – Instead of, blaming yourself, you should tell yourself that you did your best with the information you had at the time and that it takes 2 to make a marriage work. Blaming yourself plants deep feelings of inferiority and insecurity which will later strike up like weeds to dominate the garden of your mind. Excessive, self-blame, opens the door to guilt. Self-blame, also closes the door to, self-development.

How to set goals

3: The 3rd cause of, failure, has to do with, setting goals. Having no goals or having low goals. Dr William Menninger says “a fellow must know where he wants to go, if he is going to get anywhere.”

No goals are bad enough, but, low goals, are worse. Like, setting goals, to get the highest number on video games. That is an example of a, low goal.

Happiness is the pursuit of a goal or purpose, if you have, no goals, then you are a, failure.

How to set goals: choosing the wrong goal

4: The 4th common, cause of failure, is choosing the, wrong goal. Imagine that you have the, goal, to become a social worker, you graduated with your Bachelor’s Degree and your Master’s Degree and then worked for 20 years as a social worker; but you get to your 50’s and realize that what you really wanted to be was a politician and work for the citizens of your country to make policies than benefit all. After reaching the fifth nor 6th decade it is too late to turn back. That is why it is a good idea to understand your passions and listen to your heart early in life to determine the direction you should go.

Taking a short cut

5: The 5th, failure symptom, I want to leave you with today  – is taking a, short cut.

An electric current will follow the line of least resistance; but a bulb glows because there is resistance.

Taking the short cut, many of us choose the shortest, easiest quickest way to success, only to discover that success was illusory; the bulb did not glow. No conquest can be achieved without hard work– no conquest can give true pleasure if it has not required hard work.

My grandmother would say there are, no short cuts in life, when you take the path of lease resistant you usually find yourself at the wrong destination and have to start all over.

https://youtu.be/UDZvuXqZDQ0

Conclusion

These are the 5 most common, causes of failure, if you become conscious of them then you can recognize them when they show up and make a better choice.

  • Never blame anyone for your life, you are in control.
  • Do not blame yourself, we were not given a manual at birth, we do as best as we can with the information we have.
  • Goal setting – Happiness is working towards a goal, set goals and work towards them.
  • Check in with yourself thorough out your life to see if you are getting any fulfillment from your career, so you won’t get to your 50’s and find out that you chose the wrong path.
  • Finally, don’t take the, short cut, they rarely get you there faster.

Thanks for turning in to this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Additional Resources

5 Powerful Strategies to Achieve Any Goal

Entrepreneur, Executive Coaching, improving sales, Leadership Coaching, Life Coaching, Personal Development, small business, Spiritual Life Coaching

5 Powerful Strategies to Achieve Any Goal

Without a plan your, goals, are just a dream. The most important ingredient for success is a plan!
A plan is usually the distinguishing feature in the success or failure of any, goal.

A study of 100 students in business school found that 66% of students that wrote a business plan succeeded in business even though the business plan was not an accurate accounting of where the business ended up. It seemed that just formulating a plan makes you succeed because it creates a visionary.

Here are 5 strategies to help you achieve your, goals:

1. Faith,  You must believe in yourself.

  • A dream or can inspire you and motivate you to action only if you Believe that you can make it happen.

Some don'ts:

  • Don't have a, plan B.
    When you have a, plan B, you are telling your subconscious that you don't believe that the plan “A” is going to work.
  • Don't tell yourself that your, goal, is not realistic. Just remember to reap where you plant.

“If you can think it you can achieve it” ~~Ophra Winfrey

  • Watch your self-talk and internal dialogue.
    Eg. Your, goal, is to be Regional Vice President Sales but; you tell yourself it will never happen because your boss does not like you. Whether that is a fact or not, you will never be promoted to Regional Vice President Sales until you replace that thought with a winning one.

 

  • 2. Clarity – Your , goals, must be clear.

    What do you want? What is your destination end? What is the vision?
    Would you like “Peace of mind?”
    Would you like “Financial freedom, and security?”
    Would you like “A higher quality of life for you and your family?”

It is not more money. It is not to own your own home your, goals, are what you are going to get from achieving these things.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

3. Jump in – Stop waiting for the right time.

  • Chris Gardner calls this “stop digging your potatoes”
    There is never a better time than the present.
    Don't wait until you have the time to upgrade your education.
    Don't wait until you are fired from the job you hate to look for a better one.
    Stop making excuses and jump in.

4. Understand your past to gain, clarity, for your, goals

  • Your past has valuable information about who you are and why you are. It is a storehouse of information.

“Those who cannot remember the past is bound to repeat it.”

It has evidence of where you get stuck, evidence of what you do when the going gets tough, which road do you choose, evidence of your beliefs.

Examine the movie of your life and understand the lessons this helps with self-mastery.
All experiences from your personal library are valuable to create self-awareness.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

5. Understand your Why. Why do you want to achieve this, goal.

  • Why do you want to leave a Legacy?
    Why would you like financial freedom?

It is the general belief that the organizing power of the Universe will help those whose, goals, are to serve humanity. Your Why should benefit others and not just yourself.

How to set Goals vs Objectives

Whether you're working on a team project or defining, goals, for an entire company, it's critical your employees are on the same page when it comes to terminology.

Goal setting, is different from objectives, often seem like two interchangeable phrases. “We have ambitious, goals, for the new year,” you might tell your marketing team, following up with, “Our objectives are aggressive, but entirely possible.”

When used in a marketing context, it's easy to misconstrue. To ensure efficiency and unity, then, it's vital your employees are up-to-date on the two terms you likely use when outlining your quarterly and yearly strategy.

Motivation for Goals is Purpose

Goals, are also different from purpose,  are almost similar and one could hardly come across any difference between the two at one glance. Purpose and, clarity, are interlinked, because purpose is the, motivation.  .

One of the main differences that can be seen between the two is in the time factor. People try to reach their achievements by setting deadlines. On the other hand, deadlines are not applicable in a purpose.

It can be called as the point one wishes to achieve. On the other hand, purpose can be called as the reason one aims at to achieve a goal. Unlike purposes, goals always go forward in a specific direction.

Purpose, which is all about direction, is that something that influences drive. Unlike dreams purpose is broader and deeper.

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Purpose is directly influenced by the values and beliefs one holds. Purpose is deeply rooted in a person. Unlike goals, purpose can b said to be central to human life.

Goals, and  purpose, can be measured whereas purpose cannot be measured. The end result can be seen whereas in purpose, it is not that visible. Achievement,  aims that a person seeks. It is that which one wants to accomplish. It involves the establishing of specific, realistic and attainable objectives.

Goals, have a specific target. On the other hand, Purpose does not have a specific aim. Goals, can be short term, long term or personal. However, a purpose cannot be short or long term but only pertains to something personal.

Purpose can be termed as a fundamental need of a human being, which gives a meaning to his actions.

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-aim-and-purpose

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Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-a-diamond-by-finding-your-purpose/

Can you recognize your failure symptoms?