How to Replace Bad Habits With Success Habits

Break bad habits

Will Moore is a serial entrepreneur and TEDx speaker. This blog is about replacing your, bad habits, with, success habits, thereby  transforming your life.

Habits, are very important. We always say that, it takes 21 days to form a, bad habit, but now some people are actually challenging that. They’re saying it takes about three months or 90 days to form a, habit.

Whatever we do on a consistent basis, it forms a, habit,  regardless it is a, bad habit, or, success habit. So, today we’re talking about transforming our lives through, success habits, and replacing the, bad habits. The, habit, that we’re trying to develop is the, success habit, that leads to  happiness.

Success habits, generally increase your happiness.

Listen to the full interview here: 

Bio and Introduction Bad Habits

Will Moore is a serial entrepreneur, TedX speaker, life coach, and happiness expert. After exiting his delivery startup for $323 million in 2019, Will confirmed what he’d spent the past 25 years researching: True happiness isn’t about money, power, or fame;  it’s about figuring out what makes you happy and taking consistent action on those things every single day.

To do this, Will has thrown out the book on traditional, self-improvement, creating instead a unique system that reduces friction by combining the latest in science and technology with, success habits, and universal principles: gamifying the process and building momentum. Will’s company, Moore Momentum, is addressing the “Social Dilemma.” and helping people hold themselves accountable by taking the necessary action to replace their, bad habits,  with, success habits.

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Transform Your Mind Amazon

5 core areas to build Success Habits

  • Mindset,
  • Career & Finances;
  • Relationships,
  • Physical Health,
  • Emotional Health
  • Giving Back.

Moore Momentum is committed to helping people fire on all cylinders on their way to becoming an unstoppable force, so they can then pay it forward to help the world do the same!

Myrna: Awesome bio. It sounds that you’re very successful. It’s everybody’s dream to have an exit strategy that makes them several million dollars especially 323 million so that is a great foundation. So, what you are doing with More Momentum? Can you tell us how you got into this journey? Understanding that happiness does not come from fame or it does not come from money or it doesn’t come from power as everybody seems to think.

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Understanding Where Happiness Lies

Will: My mom was an alcoholic. She was verbally and physically abusive. My parents divorced early, we moved around a lot. I just never really fit in and I just kind of got to a point where I was basically suicidal in college. Serendipitously one of my professors introduced me to a book, “How to Friends and Influence People” by Mr. Dale Carnegie. It sort of changed my mindset and started to shift me towards what I call a growth owner mindset.

Myrna: I read that book.  I found it very difficult to understand but it is a  classic.

Will: I’ve read it so many times. It was written back in the 40s some 70 years ago, and still  it still stands today which is to me is a testament of the universal principles. These Universal principles in life,  if you follow them, if you abide by them, if you lead your life by them and build your, habits, around them, you’re going to succeed.

You’re not going to be happy if you ignore them or try to cheat the system. You’re going to struggle, so that sort of opened up my mind to the principle of friends.

It’s not about you, give to other people if you want to have more friends than you can handle.

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How to Win Friends

I just took that to heart. I started to shift and I started taking all the poor me victim stuff self talk which was a , bad habit, and started asking people questions about themselves.  It was like my own human science experiment.  I started taking notes, seeing what worked and what didn’t. I noticed people responded well when you took interest in them.

I started making, friends, and was becoming more popular.  People actually started liking me, compared to what was constantly being played in my head, “I’m a loser nobody likes me.”

That just started my, success habits,  journey, and I never stopped. I became an insatiable, self-help, beast. I was reading book after book on, self-improvement.”  All the books that I could get my hands on including “Think and Grow Rich”, “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, etc.

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My #1 Success Habits was reading Self Help Books

I started to live this more holistic type of lifestyle, I call it  ‘firing on all cylinders’. When you start to develop these, habits, you’re building momentum and creating, success habits, in each of the 5 core areas.  People around you can feel your momentum and your energy. When we sold our solar business in 2019 for a combined 321 million, I had enough money where I could say, okay I don’t technically have to work anymore I can concentrate on building my, success habits.

Myrna: I started my spiritual journey with Robin Sharma’s book “The Monk who Sold His Ferrari”. I understand what you’re talking about.

How did you transition to understanding, bad habits, and, success habits? You started off with, “How to win friends and influence people”, How did you combine that into, habits?

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Changing your Bad Habits into Success Habits

Will: Success habits, were not as integral and central as they are now for me, as I got deeper into, self improvement, I started identifying my, bad habits. I call them, failure habits, and replacing them with, success habits; but I wasn’t doing it  consciously.

I didn’t need to shine a spotlight on all my, bad habits, that was causing me, negative momentum, in each of my five core areas.  I just decided to replace my, bad habits, with, success habits.   The book that brought my, bad habits, home was  “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. I read several years ago.

It all comes down to your, habits. You are your, habits. We run on autopilot 90% of the time and we’re just doing the things that we have done repeatedly, whether they’re good or bad and here’s the kicker, habits, don’t care if they’re helping or hurting you. We are all creatures of, habit.

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Your Bad Habits are automatic

Myrna: I go on autopilot mode almost every time I drive so I know what you taking about. I’ll be meaning to go someplace different, next thing I end up at the place where I wasn’t supposed to go.

Will: That’s a perfect example, where your brain is trying to conserve energy. A lot of people have no idea that our brain finds the safest route. To start replacing a, bad habit, find a replacement, success habit.

Myrna: You discovered the, success habits, and the, bad habits, and then you just made it integral to your More Momentum training. Now, let’s get to the Seven the Habits of Successful People. You mentioned that you read the book it was written by Stephen R. Covey and it’s called “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People”.

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Seven Habits of Highly Successful People

Will: One of the things that people do is they get caught up in thinking that certain, habits, are going to lead to the promised land.  These seven habits is the formula for being happy, because your belief system plus your repeated actions plus time equals who you will become.

  • Habit 1: Be Proactive
  • Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind
  • Habit 3: Put First Things First
  • Habit 4: Think Win-Win
  • Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
  • Habit 6: Synergize
  • Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

The Book the Secret  had the answer to the universe, but they didn’t  have the action part of it. It’s like you can’t just think about what you want. You got to actually take action, you have to build your, success habits.

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Action is the way to build your Success Habits

Myrna: I love it, you mean you can’t just put a picture on your vision board and then 10 years later you manifest it?

Will: Right. That’s right exactly. I had a, vision board. I  still do sitting right here.  You have to take consistent action to manifest your vision.

You have go to tell yourself, I got everything within me to kick ass. It’s only a matter of time. Obstacles are temporary roadblocks and every step of the way, I’m going to fail forward and I’m going to become bigger, better, faster, stronger, smarter, on my way to becoming this unstoppable force. That’s the attitude you got to have, and it doesn’t come easily.

It doesn’t come overnight and that’s why the compounding part – your belief system plus your repeated actions or, habits, plus time equals who you become.  Those actions start becoming, habits, and they turn into things that are actually automatically building your, momentum, along the way versus hurting it. That’s how you become the person that you want to be.

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The Mindset of Success Habits

Myrna: What are some, success habits, that we can start doing? Not necessarily talk about the failure or bad habits yet, give us a couple of success habits that you have discovered.

Will:  Your, mindset, is essentially the thoughts that are going through your head Some people have the, bad habit, of talking baldly to themselves about themselves. They say things like

  • You are not good enough
  • I will never be anybody
  • People don’t like me
  • They have a victim mindset that says people are always out to get them.
  • Some tell themselves things like I was born this way, there is nothing I can do about it

We have to have the, mindset, that that says, you can’t succeed without failing. If you’ve got a good, mindset, going everything else becomes incrementally easier.

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The Habit of Transforming your Mind

Myrna: I agree with that. That’s why this show is called “transform your mind to transform your life” because your mind is the first place to start, human transformation.

Will: For your career and finances, I’d say very first thing you should do is figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are. Then start focusing on the things you’re good at and make that part of your daily routine. You’re moving that stuff forward and then peripherally the other things that need to be done will get done.

 I’d say the top, habit, for that goes back to Mr. Dale Carnegie – “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, is just make other people feel special.

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The Habit of Making People Feel Special

Whether it’s your significant other, your friends, your family, your colleagues at work, or acquaintances:

  • Remember names,
  • Remember details about people,
  • Be genuinely interested in what they’re saying (you may have to fake it at first, because we’re all selfish egotistical creatures by nature) but what happens is you actually start to see that they respond to you. They’re interested in you, that becomes addictive and then you do become more genuinely interested in them.

It’s this feedback success loop thing you get into and it’s magical and it just propels your life because, you can’t go through life on your own, you got to have other people.

For physical health, I’d say the top, success habits, are:

  • There’s your sleep,
  • Watch your nutrition
  • Movement, there’s your exercising.
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Success Habits for Emotional Health

The final tip I would give for the final core emotional health and giving back, I’ll give two tips because they’re kind of slightly different things. For the, emotional health, part the question is

  •  Are you living a life full of passion, purpose?
  • Do you actually enjoy the ride or are you just constantly like looking down scratching off to do’s”, trying to just get through the day?”
  • The, habit, of enjoying life and  expressing your passion is important.

I would also say proactively making a list of the things that you love and then making sure that you’re incorporating them into your life regularly is a great, success habit. Whether it’s doing a sport or whether it’s creativity if you’re an artist, you like to paint, and you haven’t painted in 10 years.   Use technology and sign up for class or get a buddy that you can paint with.

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Erase Bad Habits with a regular routine

Get it into your regular routine because again it’s a, habit, like anything else, and if you start doing it then all of a sudden you’re doing it, you don’t even have time for the, bad habits, to get an opening. With a regular routine thoughts like “Oh, I don’t have time for this” or  “Oh, I have conflicting schedules”  A daily schedule starts to improve your life, because you’re incorporating more of the things that you love and are passionate about.

The last, success habit,  is “giving back”. I have a mantra that I say to myself every morning. I’ve memorized it.  I focus on all the things that I want in life and then at the end of it, I talk about what I’m grateful for. So, I get this feeling of  “Oh, man I’m so lucky and it just boosts me up and rocket propels me into the day because I start happy and excited.

Myrna: I love that. That was a good idea to give a, success habit, from each of your five core areas of life. So as we wrap up, so tell our listeners more about your business – More Momentum. How they can get in contact with you and what exactly is your program.

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Moore Momentum Training

Will: moremomentum.com is the website. There’s a “see the Momentum Movement” tab at the top and you can sign up. I’ve got a weekly blog and newsletter that I do at the top. There’s also the social media buttons (Instagram, Facebook and Twitter)  My Instagram page is  @willmoremomentum. I post viral videos of stuff and I’m trying to make it fun by gamifying the experience. I’m helping people trick their brain into wanting to watch the stuff that’s good for them.

I’ve got the App that’s coming up so I super excited.  I think I mentioned briefly earlier, the App it’s going to just take everything I’ve been doing over the last 25 years and culminate it into one device where you can stop your, bad habits, in these five core places and replace them with, success habits.

In the game, you’re a rocket ship. You’ve got your five core cylinders of your engine in order to fly up to the moon and break earth’s gravitational pull. You got to get enough momentum to get off the ground by stopping those, bad habits, and replacing them with, success habits, one step at a time. I make sure I take it through very slowly. Remember the law of compounding – if you rush into it, you try to change everything at once. It’ll never work then all of a sudden you’re flying off to different planets and universes and solar systems and you’re meeting aliens along the way.

You’re getting universal principles and tips flying through asteroid fields building up your armor and becoming an unstoppable force.

It’s super exciting. You can sign up on my website for that as well. If you click on the App, it’ll say “be notified when the App is Available.”

Conclusion

Myrna: I absolutely love it. Wow, so that’s great not only for adults but for children teaching them that they can do anything. If they want to get to the moon or to get to the top of their goals. Whether it’s a, success habit, or a, bad habit, you just keep doing it. It’s actually pretty good to replace those, failure habits, and make them into, success habits, so you can do it.

If you found this blog and podcast inspirational, please subscribe, rate and review The Transform Your Mind Podcast on iTunes. Leave your comments below if you have, bad habits, that you need to change into, success habits.

Additional Resources

What are the, Secrets to Success,? Here are my 10 Secrets

 

How to Find Love, the Second Time Around

How to find the right man, second time around

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relationship in her 40 year marriage to her soulmate husband. Her strategy
benefits men too, after all the more knowledge you have the more you can
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Patricia also produced and hosted the TV show called the Patricia Fuqua show, a
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relationships.

Well Patricia that is a very excellent Bio, it covers a lot of territory.
I always like to start off my show asking my guests of their journey to this point in their career. Can you talk about your journey to becoming a relationship expert and author specializing in the second time around? I know that you’ve been married for years and I need to say congratulations right off the top because that is quite
an accomplishment; but how did you transcend your own relationship to
becoming a coach?

Well, now I’ve honed and polished my communication skills; but it wasn’t
always this way. There was a time in my marriage when I
was depressed because I was juggling career and the needs of young children
and my husband. I got really depressed because I was
really feeling sorry for myself and then I got mad went into
this deep funk. It wasn’t until I discovered that I had the choice to be
happy or to be sad that I started to turn myself around. It wasn’t my husband
it wasn’t my children, it wasn’t my job, it wasn’t my life. It was the way I was
looking at it so, when I discovered that I could be happy as a choice as well as
being sad, I started to reach for
better feeling thoughts, finding something good about everything and
anytime somebody made me upset or I felt overwhelmed. I said okay so what’s the
silver lining here? I started to get answers and so as I
discovered the power of choosing how I was going to feel about any situation or
any person or relationship I said to myself this I have to share with the
rest of the women in my life, because we could be so much happier if we only knew we could just choose to do it. I have the technique to show them so that’s when I became inspired to start coaching women because I love happy
people. I just love being around happy people and helping them
learn to be happy. Helping them to have more love in their lives.
I always been a spiritual person studying spiritual practices, some people would
say religion, and always I wanted to be in alignment with source, some people
would say God, Universe, Higher Intelligence. There are many names
for that creator and so as a result that’s how I started coaching. I started
saying well this is what I’ve learned about being happy and in love, so I’m
wanting to share this with you and we can personalize it for you so that you
too can have more love and happiness in your life. And that one day that I
had this record-breaking seminar for women, it was just like they were
lined up around the table and down the aisles waiting to speak to me. I
was just giving them these nuggets of wisdoms and, second time around, nuggets that I had come to from my
reading from my study and they were walking away happy, so it was a great day.
It was it’s one of those peak experiences.

Wow that is awesome and you know a lot of people would go through that process and keep it all to
themselves, so it’s absolutely great that
you through that process realized that everything is better when you share.
That’s an overstatement, everything is better when you share. God gives
you a testimony, so that you can share and you can encourage and it’s really
profound that you had this really record-breaking experience of everybody
wanted a piece because you’ve hit on something.
Happiness is a rare quality, even when you’ve got all you want
somehow a lot of people are still not happy and you know it’s really
interesting; but I did an interview on this show with a monk
called Swami G about 2 years and this morning Facebook shared the memory.
I reposted, he was saying that happiness doesn’t come from external
Sources, just like you have figured out it comes from inside and that’s why you
know the Buddhist monks talk about enlightenment, because when you’re
enlightened you know suffering and unhappiness doesn’t come to you.
I woke up this morning with some heavy things going on in my
life and my children, and when I posted it. I said, I wish that
I myself can tap into that field today. I was meditating this morning from very early in the morning and it just didn’t
work because my mind was too busy. So, if you have
gems that help people, that is why they’re lined up because it’s something that you know we all require at some point in time. We don’t have to be depressed but some days just knock you down. Good story so I’m glad that you
were able to bottle your experiences to help others to
to get there as well. You touched on something as well about you being
very spiritual and connected to source. So my second question is how can other
women use intuitive and spiritual practices as a guide for better relationships?

Let’s just add happiness on to that.
That’s the exciting part of my practice because when I’m sharing with women the seven principles that are in the book, Second Time Around,
meditation is number one and I’m glad that you’re a meditator because even
when we feel that, oh my God my mind is so busy it didn’t make a difference, it
does make a difference because you’re quieting your mind,
and it can give you a different perspective on a situation. I’ve
learned over time that women need to or benefit from having a different
perspective on the situation, or relationship, and dating and love and
happiness because we can as a group, are very sensitive and emotional. Some
more than others, and when we can tap into that place where we’re feeling not
as positive as we could and start to look at least one positive thing
about a situation, you recognize what they’re feeling and to shift. It’s kind of
like this morning you said you woke up with heavy feelings and the meditation
didn’t feel like it was making a difference, however if it ever entered
your mind that oh well this is something I could be thankful for in this
situation, that is going to raise your emotional tone.
We get stronger at managing our feelings and eventually we get to the place where
we can move more quickly up this emotional scale to happiness or at least
optimism, and after meditation if you say to yourself oh well it wasn’t
quite as bad as I thought because B and C is in place, you move up the scale.

You are correct, this morning I didn’t come up with
any positives, but I came up with some guidance and that’s basically what
happens when you quiet your mind right the Universe, God, your
Higher self gives you some guidance and some next steps.

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Some of the other principles have to do with just mining. Like gold mining your own story to figure out
what you really want to experience in relationship. Some women want to feel
pampered and protected and privileged, and you know what is it each woman needs is to discover or to remind herself what she really wants to experience in relationship. Some women are very conventional and they like the idea of
having a man play a man’s role, do the man things in in the conventional
sense, manage the house, take out the garbage,
that sort of thing. Other women want somebody to plan their
fun, so what is it that helps you feel the way you want to feel in
relationship, that you would like that other person to be doing?
That’s one of the key principles, there are seven total principles we don’t have
time to go into them all now. Meditation to manage your own
thoughts and feelings.

Awesome, alright so again we’re
touching on mindsets a little bit, so this is an interesting question for me to ask you because we’re specifically talking here about the, second time around. Women who has been divorced, the woman is maybe in a
committed relationship, maybe not necessarily married; but they’re
starting over again and your mindset is very crucial because your mindset can
actually keep you from making this a positive experience.
So what mindset do you coach your women and men then that they have to develop when they’re in the second time around?

I have the attitude that there is a lid for every pot.
That’s an old southern expression that means all they have to do is be very clear on the vision of what they want to experience and they will meet that person.
So those mindsets have to be in the present. If we’re going to develop a relationship a, second time around, that is satisfying and that can last. Having a lid and every pot means that
there’s a match for you somewhere, and if you have a clear vision on
the match you know as a coach as well any coaching whether it’s for whatever
you want just have a clear vision of it and that’s the way you attract it to you.
I was thinking that is the most important mindset that they have to develop is that they have release the baggage of the last relationship. How do you feel about that?

It’s important to be aware of the baggage of the last
relationship because it can be like a weight around your ankles pulling you
down and away from what you want. It’s also important to be able to shift
that attitude that you might have developed, that feeling about
relationship or about the opposite gender that you had. The awareness the
self-awareness of knowing what that attitude is that’s blocking you will
allow you to come up with an alternative, so that you can do the things, say the
things that will help you attract that clear vision that you have. That’s the
lid for your pot so to speak.

okay like I said in the beginning of the podcasts, I’ve been around
the block several times myself and what I have found. To clarify I have been married
like four times, what I have found is that a lot of times the baggage is
you come out of a relationship and there is a negative experience you make sure
that there’s not that a negative experience is not in your next partner;
but a lot of times you find something else right, so how do you coach women
around “hey I don’t want to have a guy like that again kind of scenario?

second time Love

love-sweeter-second-time-sweet-photos-eula-valdez-rocky-salumbides.html#73456

I understand what you’re saying and the
Law of our Universe, some people call it the Law of Attraction but the way it’s
set up is that it wants us to be happy that law is God in action or the
Universe in action or the Creator in action. We are put here to have fun
that’s the point in the studies that I have had
and so when we focus on what we really want the universe hears.
The trick becomes being able to manage your feelings and
your thoughts and your attitudes so that you’re focusing on what you really want
it doesn’t understand anything except for what you spend the most time
thinking about, so if you’re spending most of your time thinking about oh my
God that was the worst relationship ever, I never want to see a guy like that again! Well, that’s what you’re going to get more of or some variation, because you’re
spending so much time on it and that’s what a Universe is answering.

That is the perfect answer because, yes that is exactly what happens.
That’s why a lot of women go in relationships that are
almost the same because they keep attracting the same kind of man or the
same kind of relationship because they’re saying well this is this is what
I don’t want. Let’s take an example of a cheater, this is what I don’t want or
even an abusive relationship, and then you are cycling through those all the
time because they tell the universe what they don’t want and that is exactly what
shows up. I like what you said, whatever you spend time thinking about
whether it’s what you don’t want or what you do want then that’s what’s going to
show up. Excellent answer.

Patricia, who would you say is your ideal client?

My ideal client is a woman of experience and substance who has had more than one relationship, I used, second time around, because that’s a very familiar expression; but she usually has raised her children, she’s launched them
into college or into the work world and she’s comfortable in her career and in a single mom. All these years I’ve been raising the kids I’ve been taking care of other people. I have a great social life; but where is my special partner? I like this woman. I prefer this as the ideal client although men in the situation my teachings work as well; because they have had enough variety and experience they know what they want through conversation and we can plan how
their strategy is going to roll out and make it happen. I shouldn’t say
make it happen but we can work with my spiritual principles so that they’re very clear on what they want, they know how to manage their mindset, they know what they would prefer to experience, they’re open to using these practices. Example: One of my clients was sitting at an
outside cafe in my little town here of Menlo Park one afternoon with her
college son who was home for the holiday and a man saw her at this outside café,
parked his car came over to meet her. She had been trained by me who
had the strategy of being approachable, she looked radiantly beautiful; because I
said honey anytime you go out you have got to look good. People are attracted by
the visual. She was in line with that and so he came
over sat down next to her as if he were her best friend they started chatting
well as her calm was being the hostess and making him
feel comfortable; because she found out right away that he was her type of
guy. At the end of that short conversation, he passed his telephone
number to her on a napkin and said if you want to continue this just give me a
call, that was six years ago. They’re still together.
It’s about being clear, always being ready so you don’t have to
get ready and being ready for who comes into your world; so that you can check
them out and decide if you want to get to know them better.

I love the last tagline. I think Will Smith says that best he says you
should always be ready cause if you’re ready, you ain’t got to get ready.
All right now let’s get a little personal and transparent. I know
you’ve been happily married for over forty years
you talked in your BIO in your journey or your history that
there was a period of time when you were depressed, because you’re doing so much, and your happiness came after you decided that you had
a choice and it was not your husband or your kids job to make
you happy. I absolutely love that. I know this personally
because that’s the reason I’m finally happy. After
running around and trying to find happiness by having other people give it
to me, the reason I’m happy in my relationship
is because I meditate and I do me. I don’t depend on anyone
else to be to make me happy. I make myself happy; but I saw this in
print the other day when Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck had left her. He
cheated on her with the nanny and I think she was having an interview and
she said point blank that it was not Ben’s job to make sure that she was
happy. I’m sure a lot of people that are not in our space
wouldn’t understand that; but I absolutely loved it.
So what would you say is the reason for your marital success?

Well marital success means also that there’s a the dark side of it that there
are some times that are not successful and after years there have been times
where I haven’t been successful at being happily married and so now that I am
happily married, that I’ve gone through some things so the idea here is
every situation that has conflict in it, I have learned to ask
myself what would you prefer here Patricia? And when I get the answer to
that then I can get busy, I can start conversations. In the book, I’m leading
women to go from “first date to soul mate” with these principles and it doesn’t
stop once you meet and develop the relationship with your soulmate, the
conversations and the communication has to continue through the inevitable
conflicts that happen between two people in an intimate personal relationship. So
as a result I’ve learned to use that very powerful question
“What would you prefer here Patricia?” That tells me that I
need to start doing my practices and asking that question.
What is it you want the man to do? What it is you
want the woman to do? We don’t communicate what we want we just fight about it because we’re expecting to be mind reader’s.

As we wrap up our show today, Patricia how can our readers and listeners get in touch with you and get a copy of your book, second time around?

I would love to chat with people or let them know a link for the book and so I would ask people to just email me Patricia@datingdiamonds.com Put in the subject line “chat” or “Book” and I’ll send
you a copy of the book
which will go into some of the seven principles that I talked about.

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3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

 

Happiness! The Universal goal of everyone who has breathe. So how can you find happiness after a divorce?

Coach Dan Willms talks about how your behavior affects your happiness. I agree; but here are my thoughts.

 

What is happiness?

Let’s start with what it is not.

  • It is not how much money you have.
    It is not how big your house is.
    It is not what kind of car you drive.
    It is not found in any external thing!

Here are 3 ways to find, happiness, after a divorce:

1. Your relationship with yourself.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you.
3. And your relationship with God.

Let’s look at each of these
As you can see, relationship is key.

We are social beings, we need connection, even it is one person.
That is why people commit suicide at Christmas, because while everyone is celebrating with family and friends they are alone.
It is also the reason that social media is so powerful, it allows connection to others.

I will share a story.
This woman from Toronto sent me a friend request on Facebook. She was the friend of one of my friends. I accepted. Then she started reaching out to me about coaching and about my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” .

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I found out her story.
Raped twice when she was a teenager, sent to live with her father in another country who abandoned her, got pregnant and gave her child up for adoption. She was living in a studio apartment alone. Facebook was her lifeline. You don’t know who is on the other end of that friend request!
So if you are lonely, connect!

These are a different training and a different mindset to come from a perspective of abundance instead of lack and limitation, and that’s really where my internal work has been. Each time I shift up belief, a thought, a perspective from lack and limitation to one of abundance, my life just expands and explodes.  You know what society says is this is accomplished, then you’ll feel successful and a lot of people get there, and they feel empty, they feel like that it doesn’t have much meaning in their lives or they’re not feeling satisfied or fulfilled. The truth is that as long as we’re chasing things outside of ourselves we’re always projecting our happiness or our fulfillment outside of ourselves. Fulfillment is never outside of ourselves, it’s within ourselves and it’s in the present moment. where all of our power exists.

1. Let’s look First at your relationship with yourself.

The first secret to finding happiness, You have to love yourself.
If you can’t love yourself, no one else can love you. If you can’t love yourself, you can never be happy!

You can start by finding one thing about you, that you love.
Come on, God knew what he was doing when he created you. Everyone has at least one thing that makes them stand out.
One of my daughter’s friend’s laments about the fact that she has no breasts and no curves. She can’t find a boyfriend. Why? Because she projects that and that is what the men see. Not loving herself shows up in other ways in a relationship.

Now look at some women who do not fit the cultural norm of beauty and weight. I can guaranty you that in every situation if she loves herself, she will be in a healthy relationship.
Plus, if there is something you can change about something you don’t like about yourself, do it.
If you can’t change it, find a different perspective on it and learn to love it.

2. Your relationship with those closest to you
A mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a best friend, a spouse are top on the list of level 5 intimate relationships. A level 5 relationship is a relationship with someone who knows your intimate secrets. Someone who you share everything with and they with you. If you have someone like this in your life. You are blessed indeed.
Now you may be wondering why I did not add children to that list. Children gives us profound happiness especially when they are young. But you can’t share secrets with your children so they don’t provide the intimacy we look for to be happy.
To be happy find a level 5 friend and cry on their shoulders!

3. And finally, your relationship with God.
The beauty of having a relationship with God is that it alone can make you happy. If you have a relationship with God, you will love yourself, you will be happy alone because you feel God’s presence with you always, your relationships will be healthy because you will love unconditionally because that is what God teaches us to do. You will find opportunities to bless others and that will make you happy.
A relationship with God is not just going to church, it is not just knowing scripture, it is not just about tithing. The relationship I am talking about is being in direct communication with God.
Going to God with your issues and struggles and seeing him make a way out of no way. Seeing him turn the weapons formed against you into blessings. Being able to receive guidance from the Holy Spirit every day. When you walk in that space everything else in your life falls into place.

You will not only find happiness again, but you will find bliss!

Listen to the full episode on YouTube
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