When it comes to a, long-term relationship, with a partner or spouse, we can maintain the thrill of being in love, and deepen our feelings of passion and intimacy past the first year. Statistics show that most, long-term relationships start out to fizzle after the first year. So to maintain the, long-term relationship, dance you have to embrace, intimacy.
However, to do this means avoiding certain behaviors, habits, and traps that, long-term relationships, commonly fall into the longer they stay together. Staying in, love, means taking the hard road and differentiating from negative past influences. It means challenging our own defenses and facing our, often subconscious, fears about intimacy.
Fighting for a, long-term relationship, means being stubborn about not getting in our own way of staying close to someone else.
Today on Mindset Transformation Radio and podcast, we are continuing with our series on the The Alchemy of Desire – The, Long-Term Relationship, Dance.
My co -host for this series is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste Intimacy Coach and, I am a Mindset Coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “The Alchemy of Desire and Intimacy”
What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.
We all Desire to be in loving fulfilling, long-term relationships, with our partners, our children, our friends and co-workers. We desire to have successful careers, some of us desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy, and today we are going to touch on the desire for flow in our, long-term relationship, and not ebb.
The Dance of Intimacy
Anyone in a, long-term relationship, knows the, relationship, dance well. It took me a while to understand this dance of, intimacy. I walked out of my first marriage at age 21 declaring boldly “I am no longer in love with my husband and I refuse to live in a loveless marriage at age 21.” After 4 marriages I now know that relationships EBB and FLOW and that we must work at, intimacy. Erotic love, turns into, Agape love. Passion and desire EBB and FLOW.
In all my, long-term relationships, fighting and then having, make up sex, was usually the shock than rejuvenated the, relationship.
In the beginning of anything there is more energy just as electrify is more powerful at the source, feelings are more powerful when they are new.
As feelings change and familiarity sets in the, intimacy, dance begins. Just as you have to practice the waltz on the dance floor, in a similar way you must practice your, long-term relationship, dance in the bedroom.
It is important to understand why you and your partner connected in the first place and why you disconnected.
Since all relationships begin within, the scenery out there is the scenery in here.
You have to love yourself first in a long-term relationship
You can’t give away what you don’t have. You have to be, love, before you can give away, love. So the first step when you become aware of the, EBB and Flow, in your relationship is to take an inventory of your, self love.
In our first episode I introduced the book “The Alchemy of Desire.“ In this book the lovers were passionate and couldn’t keep their hands off each other, then life happened and, intimacy, veined.
Every, long-term relationship, faces this junction of lack of, desire. Once, long-term relationships, become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again. To the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy if a, long-term relationship, is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity attention and nurture of earlier times is essential.
Relationship Advice How to Water your Long-term relationship
Here is some, relationship advice, In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and sunlight if they are to thrive.
We water our, long-term relationships, by showing interest in our partners. We shine light on our, relationships, by smiling and being genuinely happy to see our partners.
I was at a stand-up comedy show with Mike Epps a few years back and he made a joke about how his wife would meet him at the door with a beer and loving embrace when they were first married, and now she shrugs and says oh it’s you!
I am genuinely happy to see my husband walk through the door and when he calls me during the day. I let him know that I appreciate him thinking about me.
The marriage relationship is an important piece of the, long term relationship, dance
Myrna – Margo what is your take on the, long-term relationship, dance? Personally you have mentioned several times that your, long-term relationships, end after 10 years. What does the dance look like to you?
Margo – I don’t know why but my, long term relationships, always seem to last only 10 years. The men leave me.
Myrna – Looking back can you see the point when the, long-term relationship, ebb resulted in a break? How can anyone listening understand that ebb into a flow?
Myrna – What are some tips to keep Desire flowing instead of ebbing?
spend quality time together
be open to new experiences – if your partner likes to do something be open to new
show your love, don’t hold back
keep your identity as an individual
don’t be defensive in communication, be open in communication
be generous, give as you would want to receive
Understand that there is Eff and Flow in all Long-term relationships
If you find yourself in, Ebb and flow, should you panic or understand that is the flow of life that what goes up must come down.
It is fact that whenever you lean in to a relationship the other person leans out. That is the make up of, long-term relationships, there is, ebb and flow.
Have you been dealt some bad cards in life? Understand Ebb and flow of life
Then I invite you to an afternoon of learning and inspiration on “How to deal with the cards you have been dealt in Life”
This event will be at the Main Broward Library at 100 South Andrews Ave , 6 th floor, Fort Lauderdale, FL
on Saturday May 12 from 2.00 to 4.30 pm
Come out and be a part of our studio audience.
The first 5 guests will get a FREE autographed copy of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
This is a book signing and a live talk radio show airing locally on WDJY 99.1 FM Metro Atlanta
If you need more information, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
What happens when there is, infidelity, in your marriage? Statistics show that as much of 70% of men and women cheat on their spouses and committed partners.
Today on WDJY 99.1 FM straight talk radio our topic is “How does, Infidelity, affect Intimacy and Desire for our Partner ” We all Desire to be in loving fulfilling, relationships, with our partners, our children, our friends and co-workers. We desire to have successful careers, some of us desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy, and today we are going to touch on our desire for our partners to be faithful to their commitment to us.
Introduction to Infidelity in Marriages
My co -host for this episode is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste Intimacy Coach and, I am a Mindset Coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “How does, Infidelity, affect Intimacy and Desire for our partner”
What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.
The dictionary calls Alchemy a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination.
I will tell you from personal experience that there is nothing that transforms an intimate relationship into something magical, like the surety that your partner will not break his vows or commitment to you, that he or she loves you unconditionally and would not look at another. But how do we, survive infidelity, when it happens?
How to Survive Infidelity
Not too many of us can walk in that space, being able to swear that our partners would not cheat on us.
UK Artist Ben Newman brings a different kind of taste to satirical art. This is sultry and saucy at the same time.
His boldness in combining sexy female characters with robots present in the fantasy world is amazing with an intense desire for intimacy.
The solution to infidelity is not always divorce
Myrna – Margo as an, intimacy coach, how has your clients dealt with, infidelity?
Believe it or not, most people decide to stay in their marriages after, infidelity. The important thing is to address the issues that might have lead to the, infidelity, and get the necessary help to recover.
Infidelity in marriages, Divorce isn’t always the solution, particularly when the unfaithful spouse is remorseful and devoted to changing. Here are some things you need to know if you are dealing with the fallout of, infidelity, in your marriage.
Betrayal is in the eye of the beholder.
Infidelity is not a marital deal breaker
Most affairs end – a man rarely leaves his wife for the other woman
You are not alone
It helps to get help
How have you dealt with, infidelity?
I have dealt with, infidelity, several times in my life. I have dealt with, infidelity in marriage, and, infidelity, in, love relationships.
When I was younger and more emotional I would leave immediately. As I matured I seek to understand first and love unconditionally.
Some therapists believe that, infidelity, destroys the fabric of a, relationship, which cannot be repaired. These therapists declare, marriages, dead on arrival but, I believe it is up the the individuals.
What happens when Desire goes looking somewhere else?
History will show that men don’t need a reason to cheat on their partner. But for this discussion we will look at the Lack of Desire as the reason for the, infidelity.
What can we do when desire dries up and we no longer feel the spark for our partners?
Men like uncertainty, they like variety. Most men who cheat don’t want to leave home. They love their spouse and like the security of home but they seek adventure.
I was just reading the unauthorized biography of Angelina Jolie and how his, infidelity, had consequences he did not anticipate. John Voight was tempted by great sex and cheated on her mother who promptly left him when Angelina was 6 months old. John Voight had no interest in leaving his wife and 2 kids; but the lure of exciting sex was something he could not pass up. That dalliance had far reaching consequences for his children and himself. He would be seeking a family for decades to come.
But men don’t have to go outside the home for exciting sex. As women we could bring the excitement and adventure to our bedroom. We could bring the feeling of having an affair to our bedroom.
Whatever you are doing now, we could do something different. If you always make love with all your clothes on, in the bed with the lights out; then start making love on the couch, fully clothed, with all the lights on!
Become the mistress. Meet in a hotel, set up dates, role play and dress up, send sexually explicit text messages.
I remember a friend of mine who divorced her husband because she found a video his mistress sent to him. That is how the women are stealing our men, they excite them.
What happens when women go looking for love
Okay, enough of the men having unmet needs and looking for excitement in the bedroom. What about our unmet needs?
Women have unmet need as well and are catching up to men as they too are looking outside the home for fulfillment of their desires.
Myrna – Margo, how can women communicate their unmet desires to their partners?
Margo – Before women go looking for love in all the wrong places, they should learn to become the mistress and turn up the marital sex. They can do this by role playing and other sex games.
How do we as women deal with infidelity of spouse or partners?
There are several schools of thought about this topic.
If you want things to change, you have to change.
Maybe you are a nag, maybe you don’t like sex, maybe you take no pride in your appearance, maybe you have trust issues, maybe you are boring.
You have to know yourself to grow yourself.
Ask yourself what have I invested into this relationship? Are you a taker or do you contribute to the peace and happiness of your man?
I remember Jennifer Gardner saying after she experienced the, infidelity, from Ben Afflec . She determined that it was not Ben Afflec’s role to make her happy. He cheated on her with the nanny. She was taking stock in what she brought to the table and understood it was not someone’s else role to make her happy. Happiness comes from our true self.
You can’t give away what you don’t have.
If you found this podcast inspiring, please subscribe and leave a review by clicking the link below. iTunes Podcast
Attention, is the magical process of that facilitates the transformation of your desire, to reality. This Alchemy of, desire, allows this transformation to happen faster if we empower it with, attention.
In this episode we are going to teach you how to use the, Power of Attention, to manifest all your dreams and desires.
What is, desire, – desire, can be called the feminine face of God! I love this sentence! desire, is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.
The Alchemy of Desire
We, desire, our partners physically and spiritually,
we, desire, our careers,
we, desire, to procreate and have children,
we, desire, to be emotionally and physically healthy,
we, desire, to be wealthy
but most of all we, desire, to fulfill our purpose on this earth and leave it a better place then we found it.
We talked about how to manifest the, desires, of your Heart. The first step is knowing what you want. The second step is adding, attention, to it.
We talked on how to use the, Energy of Desire, to create something magical. If you missed those 2 episodes, please listen to then my iTunes podcast
Power of Attention
Today I want to talk about the “Power of Attention”
• Now that we know what we want.
• We know how to use the energy of, attention, to engage the laws of attraction.
• Now we want to light our, desire, afire with, Attention.”
You remember as a kid you would hold a magnet over a piece of paper and have the, attention, of the sun light the paper afire? That is what the, Power of Attention, can do to your, desires.
So, lets dive right in.
Using the power of attention to attract your soulmate
Tune in to Sticher to listen to my guest tell her personal story of using, The Power of Attention, after her divorce to attract her soulmate.
The word, desire, does not only belong with, sexual desires. As a, Mindset Coach, today I want to show you how the energy of, Power of Attention, to transform your, desires, into something magical.
Activating The power of Attention
Attention, is your power source. Rarely does a quality life just show up by chance. What you give your, attention, to expands.
If you want your dream to come through, you have to do more than dream. You must focus your, attention, and activate, the power of Attention.
The power source for having an Intention that comes through is, Attention. What you pay, Attention, to will grow.
If your intention comes from the level of your true self, it can attract anything. Attention, activates the, energy of Attraction.
Every wish or, desire, is like a tiny seed that contains the blueprint for the tree that manifests from the seed. The seed of, desire, which is also the seed of any Intention needs nourishment to grow.
How to Manifest your Desire
If you want your, desire, to manifest here are some important ways to put the right, attention, on it:
1. Have a clear intention or goal; don’t muddy it with doubt and fear regarding why it won’t come true.
2. Have positive emotions around your, desire. Feel how good it will be to fulfill it and hold it in your hands.
3. Believe that what you want is beneficial to you without any negative consequences to those around you.
4. Be prepared for any response the Universe brings and be flexible to where you go from there.
5. Feel confident that hidden sources will come to your aide once your, desires, are released to the universe.
6. Find time to meditate on your, desires. At the level of the soul, the energy of attraction, is most powerful.
Using the Power of Attention for Love
Margo, how can someone use the, Power of Attention, to change someone’s feelings about them?
I have known lot of men who are able to woo women by paying them, attention. I have been on the receiving end of, attention, that changed my feelings for a partner a few times in my life. My Pastor once said that women are responders, I agree.
In our last blog post we talked about 4 of the ways renowned sexologist Jaiya believes that we are wired. We discussed the:
the Sexual and
the Kinky sexual types.
Jaiya is the author of Red Hot Touch? Today I though we could look at the Shape Shifter who can be all those energies.
Here are the 5 Sexual or Erotic Blueprints.
6. Energetic: Turned on by space, tease and anticipation.
7. Sensual: Turned on by comfort, relaxation and all the senses ignited.
8. Sexual: Turned on by nudity and flat out sexual intercourse.
9. Kinky: Turned on by the taboo and power play.
10. Shapeshifter: Turned on by all of the above.
Margo, since today we are looking at ,The Power of Attention, how can a woman who is the, Shape Shifter, to create something magical in the bedroom?
This episode of the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast is being brought to you by Hypnosis Everywhere and M-I-X- A-M-O-R-E.
Today we talked about, The Power of Attention, and to use this energy to create transformation in your lives.
I want to leave you with this thought. When all three legs of the tripod are in place –
and pure awareness; the path is open.
You become the conscious master, the Energy of Attraction, is activated.
There are certain things that hinder the manifestation of, desire. Severe obstacles such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, substance abuse and toxic relationships block the manifestation of your desires. It gets tangled up in personal problems.
So be sure to meditate on your, desires, and rid yourself of toxicity either from substance abuse or toxic relationships.
If you found this episode inspirational or you learned anything, Please subscribe to my Itunes podcast and rate and review this Episode, so we can be encouraged to bring you more episodes every week.
Would you like to have, 50 shades of Grey, in your Bedroom? Find out how to have the, sexual confidence, of, Dakota Johnson, by embracing your, Goddess, in the Bedroom. Life Coach Myrna Young, interviews Intimacy and Orgasmic Coach, Margo Blake. Margo is going to teach you How to Embrace Your, Goddess, in the Bedroom with, sexual confidence.
As a teen mom Margo was forced into developing her, sexual confidence, at an early age. At 48 years old she decided to learn the secrets of the, intimacy, that had always eluded her. Even though she was always, sexually confident, She wanted to know more about the RAW, Vulnerable parts of herself that she always held back from men and address her, fear of intimacy. She wanted to find out for herself and also to teach other women to embrace there, intimacy issues. So she started, intimacy coaching, teaching women How to be, sexually confident, and embrace their Goddess in the bedroom, 50 shades of grey, style.
Your own, 50 Shades of Grey, in the bedroom
In celebration of the movie “50 Shades Freed” and Valentines Day, I wanted to give my listeners a gift. A gift of Awakening along the lines of the Awakening felt by, Dakota Johnson, by Christian Grey.
Margo teaches women to use their voice to tell their partners what they want and don’t want. She teaches women that men should be in servitude to them and they should have, sexual confidence, about their sexuality, embracing their Goddess and their, 50 shades of grey, in the bedroom fully!
As women of all ages are bored with their partners, the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, captures and excites women, the same way Christian Grey captures and excites, Dakota Johnson. Women are bored with the vanilla love making and vanilla lifestyle. We want our ice cream with sprinkles on top!
Can you tell my audience your back story. How did you start, intimacy coaching?
Well I’m going to try to dothis very quickly because I am 54 yearsold and fabulous, so I’m going to try tospeed it up. I was a teenage mom at 16 years old. I started to embrace my, sexuality, as a teenager but lacked, sexual confidence, and I had no, intimacy, with my partners.
I got married and divorced and when Iturned 48 I felt I was missing out on life. I was close to 50 years old and my wholehistory of my relationships with men was sad. Men alwaysleft me. I’m going to transition out myrelationship which was going on 10 yearsand I wanted to be me and embrace my, sexuality and become more intimate with my partners.
That’s how Ibecame an, intimacy coach, and started, intimacy coaching. I dida transformational workshop and certification with One Taste Coachingand Istarted to mentor clients for the last
six years. The last three years I’ve beenon the journey ofbecoming an intimate orgasmic Life Coachwith One Taste.
2. Question 2: What advice would you give to young women today on how to embrace their, Goddess, in the Bedroom and to How to be confident about their, sexuality?
If I had to give myself mysixteen-year-old self advice about mysexuality the first thing I would have asked was, why am I with this particularguy? As they develop, sexual confidence, you want to start telling men what you want andby doing that, we create awhole world of men of servitude. So onceagain the advice I would give youngwomen and older women is learning tocommunicate what your desires are. I want it this way, no Idon’t want it that way.
50 Shades of Grey the Movie
In the movie, 50 Shades of Grey, Dakota Johnson, is a young woman inexperienced in sex and becomes drawn in the world of a, dominatrix, Christian Grey. All three movies were well received; but it still received a lot of criticism about showcasing abuse of women. What do you think the message of the film, 50 shades of grey, is for young women like, Dakota Johnson?
The movie, 50 shades of Grey, to me is is all about love andservice and sex and that kind of thing
but I remember when I took my mom to see the movie. Iposted it on Facebookseveralwomen responded with outrage saying how can I glorify that movie itabuses women.
Margo- I embracethe movie, it’s of excitedusto escape having a vanilla lifestyle. It’s a different
type of lifestyle that they both agree on. It’s all about giving upand surrendering to your man. It’s all about, intimacy, and, sexual confidence. That’s what, Dakota Johnson, did she surrendered to the power-play. Shetrusted herself , and her, sexuality.
That person that posted on yourFacebook page that she was abused couldn’t have seen the movie. She didn’t seewhat you and I saw, because there was no abuse, it was it wasconsensual sex even though Christian Grey was a, dominatrix.
What constitutes, intimacy?
Margo what would you call, intimacy? Is it that raw vulnerablepart that you allow your partner or yourfriends to see?
Margo- Intimacy, it’s the partof you that does not lie. It’s the partof you that allows your friends, your family, or your lover to look you in the eye andconnect with you. Sohypothetically if you are feeling sad canlook at your daughter or your daughtercan look at you and connect with you?
Because some of us were masks. We wear amask our whole life, we don’t allow peopleto see that vulnerable part of us.
Intimacy, is being able to communicate whatyou’re feeling and not masking. Intimacy, is allowing thatperson to really see you without lyingand without the drama.
Myrna – How does, intimacy, come into play in the bedroom? How do we find our, Goddess, in the bedroom?
Margo – Intimacy, is having theability to tell your partner exactly howyou want it, when you want it and how longyou want it. That’s, intimacy. You don’t need tobe like an army instructor, you just communicate. There’s no words it’sjust your bodies and it’s just your mind.
How do, Single Women over 40, find the love they want? How do they prepare themselves in the meantime while waiting on, Love. Where do they find, single men?
Single women, who are believing God for a partner, can enhance their in the meantime experience by having the right mindset on why they want a partner, what are the best watering holes to find a partner and how to renovate, Love’s house, so that it is ready for Love.
Listen to the full interview here:
Finding Love Introduction
I think the best, dating advice, is that when, Love’s House, is fully ready for, Love, the right partner will appear.
Dating advice, for, finding love again
Work on being the best you.
Become clear on your strengths and the areas that needs improvements
Eg. Are you a good housekeeper or a good cook; but you lack self-esteem and self-confidence? Then work on improving your self -confidence
Advice for single women, Be clear on why you want a partner
Do you want a partner for security or to help pay your bills?
Do you want a partner because it is culturally acceptable to be married or in a relationship?
Are you looking for a partner to complete you?
Or Are you looking for a soulmate and equal partner to share your life?
The last one was the perfect answer. Many, single women, and some, single men, are out there looking for a partner that contributes something to their lives; but never consider what they are bringing to the table. Why would someone choose you?
Where do you, single women over 40, meet, single men?
The reason that so many, single men, and, single women, are still single is because it is hard to meet people.
Here are the most popular Watering holes for the, single woman.
Most Christian, single women, would love to meet their spouse or partner in the church; but that is rare because most, single men, in church are using the church as their watering hole!
Bars are the most popular place for, single women under 40, to meet a man; but here is some, dating advice. Bars have become hookup places for casual sex with no commitment; but in every scenario there are exceptions to the rule and you can, find love, at a bar.
My daughter had the perfect combination, she met her Fiancé in a club; but he was also from her church!
I met my husband on a train. He was the officer who checked for tickets. The train is definitely not a watering hole; but soul mates will attract each other like a magnet in any place. Gas stations, parking lots, grocery stores, bus stop, anywhere!
I have met past boyfriends at a car wash, by friend introduction, Dance club, school, bus stop, train, and work and they were all committed relationships.
Finding love again, on Dating Sites
The newest place for, single women, to meet, single men, now are dating sites. The good thing about dating sites is that everyone on the site has the same goal, to meet a partner, or to start, dating, again.
As a realtor I love FSBO (For sale by owner) because they already want to sell their homes. I don’t have to convince them to sell, only that I am the right agent to sell their homes. Same with the dating site. You don’t have to convince anyone to have a committed relationship, only that you are the one they are looking for.
Dating sites are tough if you are, finding love after a heartbreak, because it would be hard to trust. They are great for, single women over 50, because these women are not in the clubs or other social events. They are home on their computers.
My co-host today is Arifah Yusuf, a registered social worker and mental health counselor.
Arifah from a mental health perspective what can, single women, do to make sure they are sending the right vibes to a potential mate? Let’s say they meet someone at one of the many watering holes?
It’s really challenging sometimes, when it comes to giving off the right vibes, as different people enter spaces with their own intentions and interest. It’s important for those that identify as women, to be mindful of their expectations and also have personal boundaries for themselves and others, so when engaging in conversations with, single men, they can better be aware of the right vibes vs negative vibes, from themselves and others interacting with. Some key tips, I would give are:
Before you try, finding love again, get to know yourself first and understand your past relationships (what worked/ didn’t work). This will help you get ready for a relationship, as you will be better able to recognize what you are looking for and if that relates to signs of a healthy relationship.
Some, dating advice, Go to spaces where you may find someone with similar interest like you, somewhere that you feel comfortable and exudes positive energy. Most likely, you will attract like minded, single men, that will give off similar positive energy.
Be assertive and clear when communicating. Engage in conversations to discover common interest, identify personal traits.
When, dating, be open to new experiences.
Know your boundaries and if you feel someone is not respecting them, have your exit and safety plan ready.
These are some of the, dating advice, I would tell my, single women, clients to keep in mind when thinking about meeting a, single man.
Where did you meet your husband?
I met my husband Kevin Mortley while I was working in the entertainment industry as a promoter. He was also involved in the industry, promoting concerts for artist, and a graphic designer. He reached out to me online and we had a conversation over the phone.
How do, Single Women, prepare, Love’s House?
Almost 20 years ago, I read a book by Iyanla Vanzant called” In the meantime, finding yourself and the love you want”
The concept of this book is prepare yourself and your life for love while waiting in, Love’s House.
One of the first things I remembered she said was to,
Start by living your, single life, like you are already in a relationship.
You are making room for a partner. But the synopsis of the book is to look at your, single life, as a 3 story house, complete with a basement and an attic.
She calls this house, Love’s House. Loving yourself in the meantime while you are waiting on, finding love again.
In the basement of, Love’s House, you are pretty miserable. You are hurting, lonely and disillusioned. Your emotions are blame, anger, and fear. But the basement is also a place for healing. For understanding yourself. If you don’t fix yourself in the basement, you will carry that baggage and hurt into your next relationship.
Arifah how do you help, single women, heal from hurt and blame?
Finding love after heartbreak, first fdentify and validate the pain.
Express yourself –Talking to a trust friend, family member or counselor is often a good way to soothe painful emotions and support healing.
Self care – take a break and find time for things you enjoy or would like to try (creative activities, manicure, hairstyles, movies, journaling, baking etc.)
Learn from it – An attitude of learning will help you discover value in the experience. You may also discover a curious new freedom: recovering from an emotional trauma or heartbreak makes you stronger, wiser and more resilient.
Reinvest in your new reality. Set goals and write down the steps and supports you need to begin working on them. Spark new energy and interests into your life, to find purpose and love of something else.
On the first floor of , Love’s House, you are no longer miserable and is able to look objectively at why you attract the people in your life that you do. Who are let’s say are emotionally unavailable, abusive, unsupportive etc.
On the second floor of, Love’s House, single women, Love’s house is where you change the dialog from victim to player. You educate yourself to play. You read books on, finding love again, you listen to podcasts on relationships, you start improving yourself, you become the picture card that everyone man wants.
The most important, dating advice for, single women, on the second floor is that there is nothing wrong with you. You are enough and any man should be happy to have you. Say it until you believe it if you need convincing.
The third floor of, Love’s House, is when, single women, are living the, single life, and loving who you are as a, single woman. Content with herself, whole, needing no man to complete her. She is confident, self-sufficient, courageous and beautiful inside and out.
The top floor is the Attic
In the attic, single women, showers themselves with unconditional Love. Single women over 40, are able to receive the love of, single men. This is where you will begin to attract the perfect partner because negativity, does not live here.
You know what you want and, who you seek is also seeking you!
Arifah What, dating advice, you have for, single women, through the phases of finding themselves in, love’s house.
Make sense of your past
In order to thing about, finding love, first uncover who we are and why we act the way we do, we have to know our own story
Differentiation refers to the process of striving to develop a sense of ourselves as independent individuals. In order to find ourselves and fulfill our unique destinies, we must differentiate from destructive interpersonal, familial and societal influences that don’t serve us.
In order to find ourselves and, finding love after a heartbreak, we must all seek out our own personal sense of purpose. This means separating our own point of view from other people’s expectations of us. It means asking ourselves what our values are, what truly matters to us, then following the principles we believe in.
Recognize your personal power when, finding love again
When we know what we want, we are challenged to take power over our lives. We are accepting ourselves as a powerful player in our own destiny. Harnessing our personal power is essential to both finding and becoming ourselves
Single women over 50, must silence their critical inner thoughts
This destructive thought process can be made up of a judgmental attitude that tells us we aren’t good enough to succeed or don’t deserve what we want or a soothing-seeming attitude that tells us we don’t have to try or that we need to be taken care of or controlled.
Know the value of friendship with, single men
We can seek out people who make us happy, who support what lights us up and who inspire us to feel passionate about our lives. Being friends while, dating, gives you the opportunity to learn things about the person that you may not have learned otherwise
Story of a, single woman, finding love after a heartbreak
In the last episode, I mentioned that I would love the listeners to join my Life coach group on Facebook. They could ask questions and have myself and other members give them, dating advise.
Here is a question from Mari. Her husband died last year and she wants, dating advice, on how to start over. What should she look for in a mate?
As a, life coach, I think that, single women, starting over or starting out, dating, again should have a list of what they want in a man.
It should go deeper than tall, dark and handsome!
You should have common interests,
be equally yoked,
have the same standard of living,
similar sex drive.
The list could be lengthy and you are not going to get every thing on your list but you are shooting for 80%.
Arifah What’s your, Dating Advice, for Mari
Hi Mari, its never easy after a significant loss, or, finding love after heartbreak. There is no starting over, as your husband will still play a role in your lifestory. Moving forward, you want to know what type of role that will be, maybe its pictures in a photo album or another memory keepsake. You need to figure this out, before you move forward, as sometimes we feel guilty, which is normal; but its apart of the grieving process, allow yourself to acknowledge that is what it is and determine what new reality are you hoping for in seeking a mate.
You can start with figuring out what you want, create a love resume for yourself in terms of what would characteristics, interests, you are looking for in that, single man. Once that’s done, you are half way there to having a mindset and discovering possible spaces or friends your potential mate may visit.
This is a question from our last episode. We talked about fear and courage in our last episode.
How Do I handle the fear of, Dating, Steffy from India. Writes.
All I know is that I’ve a great fear. I’ve some kind of burden in my mind and I am not able to figure it out. I am a, single man, I wake up in the middle of night and I have these panic attacks and stuff, tried meditation; but I am not able to concentrate. I need advice on, dating. Finding love again. The more I try the more I lose my hopes and start feeling worthless. Please help.
Since this is a mental health question I will let Arifah answer this one.
Hi Steffy, thank you for sharing your lived experience with fear. It sounds like it is impacting your daily routine and ability to accomplish meaningful goals, such as, finding love. I want to say its common for people that are experiencing anxiety to lose hope, but you not worthless and help is available.
It may be helpful to monitor your daily routine and meals for the day, for example, stress/sugar and caffeine can increase anxiety. Make an appointment to see your family doctor or at a clinic if you are able too, to share how you are feeling emotionally and physically. Your doctor can provide professional advice to best help you.
In regards to fear of speaking to, single women, it’s helpful to practice writing down what you want to say, then reading it to yourself out loud or in front a mirror. If you have friends/family you feel comfortable around and that are supportive, you can also practice public speaking in front of them first to get comfortable before larger crowds.
Breathing exercises and drinking water/herbal teas can be helpful in calming the nerves. As well, watching videos or reading books from motivational speakers, that may offer tips you may find helpful.
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How to, find your Soulmate,, we’ll have tips today on, how we attract our soulmate, how to live with him or her, and have out of body physical love! Today I am continuing my talk with International renowned author Ilona Selkie. Our topic is, “How to, find your Soulmate,”
Ilona an International best-selling author, Seminar leader, Lecturer, Musician, CEO and co-founder of Living from Vision.
For over thirty years, Ilona has inspired thousands of people
worldwide to discover the power of their consciousness and to create successful
lives. Ilona has written four books one of them we’re going to touch on today because in
that book she specifically she talks about how to, find your soulmate. That book is called
“Dolphins Love and Destiny” Ilona’s newest book is called “Dream Big, the Universe is
In my first interview with Ilona, On the Transform your mind with coach Myrna radio and podcast, we talked about the Quantum Field, and energy. Today we are using that energy and we’re going to direct it specifically to, How to, find Your Soulmate,” In addition to authoring the four books, Ilona has produced music and meditation CDs, co-authored two books with Brian Tracy, and one with Jack
Canfield. She has also been a regular guest on A& E and Bravo TV with Jack
Canfield, and was a producer and TV host for the Quantum Living show on Women’s broadcast TV.
I love talking about soulmates specifically, “How to ,find your Soulmate,” and we’ll have tips and tidbits today on, how we attract our soulmate, how to live with him or her, once we found them and have union into old age!
Every single person needs to know this. I’m going to tell you how I met my husband
And, “How I found my soulmate”, I think that he’s my, soulmate and I want you to confirm that or deny it based on data I will share later in the program; but yes we’ll get into all the details on, “How to, Find your Soulmate,” it it’s going to be a very
interesting conversation, and one of the things I love about this show
is that I learn as much as my audience from interviewing my guests. I pick topics that are stimulating and tantalizing, and that I and everyone listening could find some commonality with it. So yes this is one of the topics that everyone will be interested in listening to your expertise on.
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Ilona, tell us your journey from your childhood to
becoming the CEO and co-founder of Living from Vision. Please share that
with us and why don’t we tie it right into our topic today, “How to, find your Soulmate,”
From some magical moment when I was maybe 10 years old, I had a
flash of a person in front of my mind who I knew was going to be my husband.
Now he had a beard, he played guitar, he spoke English. Honestly those were my
goals and my desires. That was on my bucket list as to what my husband had to
be. I was German mind you. I’m in Germany, I’m going to school, but my husband needs to be able to speak English from England!
He would be speak English, have a beard, and play guitar so those were my
Requirements. Then I saw a flash again. I was walking through
downtown my little village, and it flashed into my mind, this future husband image again.
Myrna – I met my husband and, soulmate, as I walked into a train. He was the officer on the train collecting tickets. He was by the front door as I walked on the
Train. I noticed him. I said to myself, of a new officer. He was Black. I had not seen a black officer on the train before, so I noticed him. He told me later, that when he saw me walk onto the train, he had a warm feeling in his body. He’s never felt that before. I took the train every day to and from work. The next time he saw me sitting on the train, he built up the courage to come and talk to me. We talked for about half an hour until I got off of my stop and when I got off of my stop my heart and my whole body went into somersault. It was an amazing! I had this feeling of euphoria. I knew that he was going to be my next husband! I well
I’m not sure if I know he was going to be my next husband, but I knew he
was in my next relationship and that I had definitely, found my soulmate, I was still married at the time, but the relationship had run its course and we were on the way out. So, I knew he was going to be my next relationship. My heart didn’t stop some somersaulting for the
entire week! Every time I was on the train, I couldn’t even read. I could not do
anything, but keep an ear out for him coming to talk to me. I was just expecting him to show up and my heart just kept somersaulting! Yes, we had a connection right away.
An Overview to, Finding Your Soulmate,.
The first truth in how to, find your soulmate is to understand the nature of a soulmate. It’s strange, but most people don’t sit down to figure out what a, soulmate is. As a result, people often force the wrong person into fitting the, soulmate mold. If you want to know how to, find your soulmate, then you need to actually “know,” rather than wing it in understanding what a soulmate is.
Ilona – that so awesome because I think the body doesn’t lie. If we’re attentive to our body signals and feel our heart and are open to it without numbing it with alcohol or
numbing it with anger or numbing ourselves with other kind of
prescription drugs. If we stay clean, if we listen to our body, if we’re open to
the knocks of the universe and the universe talking to us, I think we really
feel a lot through our body. I definitely love my body and you know
some people will tell you they get sweaty palms and they get weak knees.
Myrna – I know that but my heart just jumped up and down like a trampoline! I
tell you it was like sometimes, it wasn’t a heart attack somersault, it was like so
like a kid jumping up and down on the bed. I wanted to
ask you, “How do you usually, find your soul mate,”
I’ve read about people, finding their soulmate, before they meet them in person.
Here are some examples of, Finding your soulmate, before your meet them in person:
• I just finished reading this book called “After the Dance” by Jan Gaye, she was Marvin Gaye’s wife. Marvin Gaye was one of the top R&B;
singers of our generation. She was his wife. She wrote in her book that when she saw him at
8 years old, she had a crush on him. She fantasized about marrying him and she
fantasized about being his woman. When she finally met him at 17 years old, He took one look at her and fell in love with her, even though she was 17 years his junior and still in high school. She became his second wife when she was 20 years old and the mother of his two kids.
• Then I heard about Megan Good. This is, how she, found her soulmate,
Megan Good is a very popular black actress. She said that there is this guy, Devon Franklin that she knew that she was going to marry. She knew that he was going to be your husband and she started telling everybody he was going to be her husband. This was before they met or he knew who she was. When he met her, I don’t know what happened; but you he felt an immediate attraction to Megan and told himself he’s a preacher and
she’s a movie star. It was not going to work. But whatever energy that was guiding them, worked it out. The attraction was too powerful and they ended up getting married. That is how they both, found their soulmate,
• Angelina Jolie, I know you know her. He didn’t turn out to her, soulmate. She decided that she was going to marry Billy Bob Thornton even before she met Him! She tattooed his name on her inner thigh.
So my question is. Is that , How we, find our soulmate,? Does the Universe picks our, soulmate, for us?
Ilona – I get the vision thing. Honestly that’s
what I do write about in my book “Dolphins Love and Destiny” you can get my
books all on Amazon. If you just google my name alone Ilona Selke you will find my books. But let me tell you what happened after I found my, soul mate, and this ties into a bigger question Karma and destiny. Is it their free will? Is there a predestined life? Do we have a guide? Your subconscious mind is helping you because that’s what they say that
anything you dream about, your subconscious mind is going out there and
working for you as you’re dreaming about it.
I saw this as the big question. Do you make up life or does it make you up? To
what degree do you we have input in, How to, find our soulmate,?
So, let’s fast forward about another 6 years, not a couple years but six years.
I have a dream and in my dream
God speaks and says there’s another man you’re supposed to
Marry. Wow I say God, I am so happy we’re living like two love birds. Living, loving
working everything together. Everything we do is the same, we love everything, we
we’re just a match made in heaven. I think I got that dream wrong!
Whatever you hold in your head, you can hold in your hand!
It could be money, it can be people, it could be anything that you
Want. Once you think about it, there are some things
that you can do in order to make that happen.
So, Ilona what can normal mortals do to manifest their vision and, find their soulmate?
I know you are operating at a higher frequency, but 90 % of my
listeners are not going to be at your level. So what can we do every day?
Let’s give a picture here. Let’s say that you’re in your 40ths and you know you’re not married and you want to be married. You’re looking for your, soulmate, you know men have come and gone, but nobody is your, soulmate. How do you lay the ground rule or answer that question, how do I, find your soulmate,?
I’m going to tell the story. I had a coaching client who came to me for help in her career but she was going through a bad relationship so inevitably we would talk about her relationship. She had three failed relationships in which she felt used because she had money stolen from her. But she couldn’t handle being alone so she became a pleaser in her relationships.
She was miserable in her current relationship and this guy was once again using her and
taking advantage of her. I said to her, you have to
stop being afraid and picture the perfect guy that you want. You’ve got to picture what you guys are going to be doing together, picture the house you’re going to living in, etc.
We started working on that and a couple months later, one of her
ex-boyfriends from her high school contacted her on Facebook and
within a couple of months this girl had moved half the way across the country from Florida
to California and was in this absolutely wonderful relationship, the same one she imagined when we did our mind work together.
A year later they got married to her, soulmate, and she is now incredibly happy. She found her, soulmate.
Ilona – Here is a trick, if you want to fall in love with someone or have them fall in love with you, gaze into their eyes for five minutes straight.
What happens when you look into another person’s eyes? They say the eyes are the door to the soul. Now imagine you’re looking but you’re not just looking at the pretty color of their eyes or whatever else you might see. Look at the feeling that you get. Almost like you could look through their pupils into another universe. Imagine you could dive into that big universe and find the star that shines through their eyes. That is how you connect with someone. That is how you get them to fall in love with you!
In my book The Wisdom of the Dolphins Love and Destiny, I described it offen in my book Dream Big the Universe is listening. This is how we can connect soul to soul and when we take time.
When I wake up I go into my inner world and I\ say hello beloved, and I see my beloved Don as a star within the heavens. I imagine it as the source, God you know that we meet as a pinnacle does of two points, two lines meeting in the singular apex and at that point where you can merge two into one. When you can manage to surrender to your own identity into
that feeling of actually touching in to the other one and merging and becoming
one flame. Imagine two candles making one flame. When you get into that state, you
can practice and get there. I teach people, how to, find your soulmate, this way. They can all do it. That moment is love. You asked me to define love and here’s my definition.
Love is where two or more unite in one.
I mean we can do it as a group, we can do it as a family, we can have an apex you know like a pyramid, you know mother, father, children. You can have the apex of the unity of the family as an energy center.
I do it with Don my husband, and I go into that apex into that singular
flame and I ask that flame, I say guide our relationship to the highest possible
good for all concerned and to be of service. Because there is an intelligence
within that union that starts happening because no two physical things can be in
the same place right? We bump into each other, but our souls can merge into
singularity. I found my, soulmate
Myrna – That’s awesome, that is that is very true. In our last segment, we talked
About, how to, find your soulmate, and manifesting your, soulmate, we talked about merging two souls. You know looking into you know your partner’s eyes and seeing not
the physical body but seeing their energy. I was just actually learning that from a book that I’m listening to right now from Dr Dwayne Dyer. Basically that’s what he suggests that you know don’t see the physical, just see the soul of the person, you can look
at them through the eyes of love. That’s exactly what Ilona was talking
about. So now we want to pull on her so that we can take the conversation to the next
level. I know that the word tantric sex is something to do energy, so Miss India you know about the Kama Sutra. Give us some little tidbits in how to merge our souls into fabulous sex!
How to Merge your souls into fabulous Sex
Ilona – right yes physical as well as soul union. Let’s take a deep breath here. I want to start
out with a quote from Erich Fromm from his book “The Art of Loving” and he says
build walls between people now it might be a small lie, it may be an omission of
something you feel embarrassed about. Well I tell you the greatest sex starts
with the feeling, well not everybody will agree with me, but I tell you the
greatest love fulfilled sex starts with being willing to be seen. You know with
warts and all. I mean if you’re willing to be seen for who you are and that
includes all your emotional baggage, maybe your incongruencies, maybe the fact that
you had a bad thought or whatever it is you don’t want to download this whole
thing the first date. No you wait until both of you bit-by-bit reveal to each
other your deepest internal selves. You don’t have to start out with the darkest
secrets first no make it gentle and slow, but come clean to your lover to your
beloved, let them see you for who you are. Because that’s the only time you will
feel loved is when you are no longer acting to be somebody that you think
they might love. So let you learn, let yourself be seen for who you are
and start loving yourself.
I remember the day when I laid in bed and said ok God I’ve tried to get over jealousy. I guess I’m failing. This is it me warts and all. I am still a jealous woman and I am not sure how to help myself so could you accept me like this? and I was just swept up into the heavens and God said OK. You are who you are and by just offering myself up and being willing to be seen in my eyes to God.
I made this up in my head, but I still imagined that I just surrendered who I was and I said this is me and I’m trying my best! Well I was blessed, honest to God. Later on I had angels help me walk through situations where they came in and they uplifted my energy field, and I didn’t feel jealousy I felt loved!
I felt spaciousness and that’s another thing, when you are entering into let’s
say a sexual relationship with a person if you can call in support of energies
whether you imagine them to be angels, or your inner fear guides or just plain out God or even your ancestors or your subconscious it doesn’t matter what you frame. Just say please help me discover this ability to be to merge into union and bring the right person who is capable of doing that with me, because it’s no use being the quiet Queen when your counterpart isn’t
capable. So ask for help, how to, find your soulmate,.
Slow down, breathe breathe as much as you can don’t be a rabbit, I mean that’s the number one
thing we need to slow down to perceive the heart, the feeling and the way you do
it is you say let’s stop for a moment and just breathe and feel each other. Let
me tell you, he will have more pleasure in the end I guarantee it to you. If you
delay, I learned this from a French lover when I was young
delay, delay attend trick is all about delay.
So here comes the next part you can do breathing exercises, you can look into each other’s
eyes, but what really matters is learning to sense maybe in little baby steps at
first where do you feel that the other person really is present with you and
now I’m going to give you an image. Imagine that pyramid right
so you can meet at the base of the pyramid or you can go Midway King’s
Chamber or you can go to the apex, and you can go even beyond into the stars
and if you can, and are breathing through this with your partner, I mean it takes
two people to tango, but you can then start merging or feeling or pretend
that you’re merging with the other person’s soul.
Doing this during orgasm allows you to pretend in your own way, not to just give away to the feeling of pleasure like
rise up in your breath and pull it up and out through the top of your head
into this imaginary apex in the universe with the other meets that beings soul.
Whether you know whether he or she is there or not just pretend you can do it,
touch them go for them and offer this ecstasy to the divine.
If you can believe in the divine you are really well off if not just turned over to the core big bang,
the source give it to that source. In the moment of doing that. Now it takes a lot of discipline to do that you pull up
your breath you say here God I give you my orgasm ah, you’re imagining that
you’re meeting the other being soul you’re going inside kaboom. It’s
fireworks, you feel them at the other place at other time space, your body
will know what to do, believe me your body will go through whatever it goes\
through even for women or particularly you know who might take a little bit
longer or some who don’t orgasm, at a just the feeling of union will satisfy that sense
when they go while the guy while let’s say typical women are a little bit behind the curve not all but
and I don’t know about ethnicity but a lot of women I know they’re a little bit
slower on the draw and you know it takes them longer and if the guy isn’t that
feels like falling yeah it’s just biology you know it’s like anyway it
takes the guy we go and journey with that other person’s soul now if you’re
the guy listening right now do it with your woman. If you’re same-sex, do it with
whoever you’re with and merge up into an imaginary apex of a particular spiritual.
Make it special, yeah that’s real and here is my promise.
Here’s my promise if you do this while you’re orgasmic, your orgasm will last longer.
Longer and be more satisfying you come out of the whole experience like ahhh oh
my God what have I been missing?
They’re saying that one of the reasons that men go to have
affairs and then end up falling in love kind of thing, because they
think that they can just you know have sex and run, but then they’re connected.
If you knew that to become even more connected, you transcend the body and you get into the spiritual.
Myrna – I had a guest on my show you know very earlier on and she talked about the Tantric Sex, she gave me a little exercise that I do. She said that you when you if you breathe with
your partner similar to what you’re saying but if you if let’s say you’re
lying in bed and you hug them and you decide to breathe and sync with
their breath it’s almost like that spiritual hug kind of thing.
I want to remind you I love your reviews for the podcast “Transform your Mind with coach Myrna” Available on iTunes, Sticher, Tune in, Google Play,iHeart Radio. Your reviews help the show increase in ranking, which means more people can listen to fabulous content every week to get tips and strategies to Live their best lives Now!
Download Ilona’s FREE APP. It is easy to use. Wouldn’t you like to have an APP in the
morning you just turn it on ten minutes and it gets you into that space where
you get in touch with visualizing or feeling your success in advance and asks
you to listen to your soul or feel into it and it’s beautiful music, soft voice
and it starts your day out right with focus. I made an APP for you for the morning
and evening so it’s only ten minutes. It doesn’t hardly take any time to get
started that’s why it’s so easy most people have ten minutes.
So visit my website Ilona Selkie or the APP store and download for Free and remember to subscribe, rate and review the podcast.
What is the Alchemy of Desire? – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in our spirit to lead us to our purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.
We have Desire for our partners physically and spiritually, we desire our careers, we desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy.
So why the topic the Alchemy of Desire you ask again?
My co-host today is Margo Blake, a One Taste coach. One Taste has a coaching workshop called the Alchemy of Desire. This workshop focuses on sexual desire; and I wanted to expand that Alchemy of sexual desire to encompass all desires.
Let me share with you the meaning of Alchemy.
The dictionary calls Alchemy a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination. That includes.
“finding the person who’s right for you requires a very subtle alchemy”
In his book Mr Tajpal tells the story of a young couple, penniless but gloriously in love. Obsessed with each other, they move from a small town to the big city, where the man, who dreams of being a writer, works feverishly on a novel, stopping only to feed his ceaseless desire for his beautiful wife.
A chance occurrence allows the lovers to abandon the city for a mist-shrouded spur of the lower Himalayas and move into a sprawling old house, which they hope will embody their love. At first they pursue their deep physical need with a reckless intensity. But during renovations of the house, a set of diaries written by the original inhabitant—a glamorous American adventuress—is unearthed, and the narrator finds himself irresistibly drawn away from his wife and thrust into another world and time, into the hole of history. As his life and love fall apart, he slowly begins to uncover the dark secrets at the heart of her story, until the shocking truth is laid bare and all certainties are overturned.
It also offers, in searing, lucid prose, a deeply sensual and moving meditation on the nature of desire, history, truth, and art.
The word desire does not only belong with sexual desires. As a mindset coach I created a work shop to help me and my clients manifest the desires of our hearts. As mentioned in the definition of the word Alchemy. Alchemy is the magical process of transformation and creation.
• We must identify the desires we most want to have and then breathe life into them with the power of our emotions.
• To bring the quantum possibility into particle existence emotions is the key.
• Emotions is the only way to give power to our thoughts and animate them.
• When we focus conscious energy towards what is desired and give it life through emotion, what we desire will always show up.
• I teach my clients to create a list of all the attributes they desire.
• Its Like going into a restaurant and ordering your desire. What do you want to eat?
• You don’t just go into the restaurant and order whatever they are serving; so you shouldn’t do that with your life either.
• Be clear on what you want to create. It is important to live life from that vantage point. Imagine your most important desire is already yours, imagine that it is already happening.
• To do this Ask yourself the following questions:
• 1. What is life like now that I have the thing I want the most?
• 2. How is life different than it was before when I didn’t have the thing that I want the most?
• 3. How is my time spent differently?
• 4. How does it feel when I wake up in the morning?
• 5. What does my new day look like?
• 6. Where do I lay my head at night?
• 7. Who is with me?
• 8. What type of new experiences am I having?
Feel the emotions. Emotions is what activates the Law of Attraction.
• Thought – located in the upper region of the body. Encompasses the throat, third eye and crown Chakra. This area of the body is responsible for creation. All your desires are created here. Your third eye is in the middle of your forehead between your eyes and your crown Chakra is the top of your head.
• Feeling – when thoughts and emotions are combined, they meet at the Heart Chakra. Feelings come into play when the mind interprets emotions.
• When you change the attached emotions to your thoughts, it will creates different feelings.
• We must marry thought and emotion to give us the ability to have the things we want. That is how we create the Alchemy of Desire.
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I was listening to a Tony Robbins podcast last week and the host was interviewing renowned sexologist Jaiya. Jaiya is the author of Red Hot Touch ? Jaiya told a personal story in which she said she is wired as an Energetic. Energetics according to Jaiya are able to achieve sexual fulfillment by tapping into the energy in the bedroom.
• The energetic is turned on by arousal, tease, anticipation and space. They’re very turned on by light touch, slow touch, and feeling very safe.
Her partner on the other hand was wired as a Sensual.
According to Jaiya, the sensual is turned on by all of their senses being ignited. Tastes, smells, beauty, they really want beauty and they bring beauty into a sensual sexual space. They also love candles, romance, music, bathtub time, massage, full body touch.
So, Jaiya says that for 3 years she would get into bed and initiate sex and her partner would turn his back and say he was tired and not in the mood. She said she would cry herself to sleep because she felt that her partner did not love her any more and was no longer sexually attracted to her.
Her partner on the other hand said he was tormented because he felt like a looser because he could not satisfy his woman. This went on like I said for 3 years until finally they figured out that he needed the sensual to get aroused and was not turned on by her chop chop let’s do this attitude.
How do you coach your clients to bridge incompatibilities in the bedroom?
Tune in to listen how Margo coaches her couples to communicate in the bedroom.