How to be Confident after a Divorce

Building true,  confidence, after the betrayal of a partner is a gradual process. How to be confident, after a, divorce, is a gradual process. No one is going to turn into a positive, self-confident, person overnight. But if you’re in need of a place to start, here are 6 tips on, how to be confident, after losing your man.

This week on Transform your Mind podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Confidence mentor Di Ridell. Di is going to talk to us today on the subject “7 Ways to get your, confidence, back after a, divorce, of death of a spouse.”

 

10 Tips on How to Build Confidence:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. I know from experience that this is a, self-confidence,  killer, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone younger. Remember that you’re only seeing the surface of their lives and looks, not the underlying reality. Focus instead on what’s important–your own strengths and goals.

2. Keep your limiting beliefs at bay.
Even the most successful people with healthy relationships have limiting beliefs about themselves, but the biggest difference is that they choose to focus on their strengths and possibilities instead of their limits.

3. Live in a positive reality.
Don’t say anything about yourself that you don’t want to become a reality. Positive thoughts and words alone won’t make you a more, confident, person, but, confident, people do think a lot of positive things about themselves. Remind yourself of what you’re capable of and what you’ve already accomplished.

4. Don’t mask it.
Self-confidence, isn’t the impression you give others; but how you feel about yourself. It’s all about who you are, where you are, and where you want to be in your own life and relationships.

5. Change what you can.
Confident, people know they cannot change the past, but they can change the future. They make daily choices that lead them toward the future they want to live out.

6. Be fully committed.
Be fully committed to doing whatever you can to build your success every single day, accepting full responsibility for your life. If it gets uncomfortable, you’re probably on the right track! Don’t procrastinate, do what it takes without agonizing or drama.

7. Practice Self Love

8. Take action to get back on the horse. Don’t isolate yourself 

9. Have a Level 5 Friend to share your darkest thoughts

10. Complete yourself and not wait for someone to complete you

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The nature of confidence

You should not allow your, confidence, to be dictated by someone else’s feelings in any facet of your daily life. Your feelings are just as valid as theirs, and you should never allow someone else to sink yours like an anchor, just because you have been through the, divorce, experience.

Your behavior should not be driven by the emotions of anyone, especially your ex-spouse.  They may attempt to reenter the picture for whatever reason, and while that reason may be valid and may need to be dealt with, there is no reason you should allow their thoughts and their feelings to bring you down or shatter any progress you have made in rebuilding your confidence.

You cannot and should not allow yourself to be manipulated in this way. If you sense that the conversation is headed in a direction that you are not comfortable with, it is imperative that you exercise some, self-love, and remove yourself from any narrative that would damage your post-divorce recovery process.

You need to be able to believe in your ability to rebuild your life and move forward. After a, divorce, you may begin to question your ability to make life decisions, but do not let one setback color your perspective and prevent you from making these types of calls.

Whether it is through your job, your friends, your family, or a new relationship, you can make different aspects of your new life matter and move past the negativity of a dysfunctional and unhappy marriage. Your productivity in starting over and taking each step to a new future is something you should be proud of and should give you the, confidence, boost you need to take additional steps.

If you like this content, please subscribe to my iTunes podcast and leave a review. Thank you
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Additional Resources

How to Raise your Self-esteem by Erasing Self Doubt

 

How to Find Hardcore Happiness and True Success

How to keep a man

Research shows that, hardcore happiness, leads to a wide range of benefits for our performance, health, relationships and more. So, rather than success being the key to, hardcore happiness, research shows that, happiness, could in fact be the key to success. Indeed, hardcore happiness, also brings substantial benefits for society as a whole. For example, a review of more than 160 studies found “clear and compelling evidence” that happier people have better overall health and live longer than their less happy peers.

Welcome to the Mindset Transformation blog and podcast with Coach Myrna Young. Today my guest is Swami Brahmananda Saraswati. Swami G as he is affectionately called, has a mission to help over one million people find, Hardcore Happiness, and true success. He has designed a master class on How to find hardcore happiness and true success.

  • At the end of the, hardcore happiness,  training you will have learned:
    How to find your purpose,
  • How to live your life to the fullest and achieve happiness here and now,
  • without having to wait/delay or postpone feeling vibrantly alive every day!

In keeping with the theme of my podcast and blog, I always like to leave you with a tip of the week from Coach Myrna.

Finding Hardcore Happiness from Fulfillment

This week my tip of the week comes from the book by Deepak Chopra, The 7 Levels of Fulfillment.

Happiness comes from fulfillment, Deepak Chopra’s book the 7 Levels of Fulfillment, references 7 ways to find happiness from fulfillment.

In order for us to find fulfillment we must be Open and Activate or awaken our inner sources of calm, love, and truth,
Spiritual awakening is natural. The process is like waking up in the morning and opening your eyes to the light.
There are, seven levels of Fulfillment, When you are fully connected to the light of being which is the light of the self.
There is a light that shines beyond all things on earth, beyond the highest heavens,
This is the light that shines within you.

1: The First level of fulfillment is pure potentiality
2: The 2nd level is Fulfillment from Giving
3: The 3rd level is Fulfillment from Sowing and Reaping
4: The 4th level is Fulfillment from Love
5: The 5th level is Fulfillment from The Desires of your Heart
6: The 6th level is Fulfillment from Detachment
7: the 7th level Fulfillment from being on purpose

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Introduction to Using Meditation to find Happiness

• Swami Brahmananda Saraswati was raised in India and at age 4 began studying with ascended masters in an ashram in the Himalayas. By age 12 he was teaching, yoga, and, meditation,  at the ashram’s yoga school. In 2009 Swami left India to study pre-medicine at a university in Iowa: Maharishi University of Management. He has taught 1000s of people yoga, meditation, and Ayurveda. Now he wants to bring happiness to an even larger audience. Swami is warm and gentle teacher full of light and enthusiasm.

He was taught powerful practices that have been independently validated by science to be beneficial to human health including stress reduction, enhanced well-being, creativity and productivity. His compassionate and knowledgeable approach to teaching allows full spectrum learning. He says often we have 100% freedom and 100% responsibility, and this world is dominated by action. Through his teachings and exercises many people have transformed their lives by improving their health and helping them become more deeply connected to themselves.

In this podcast Swami G answers the following questions:

• What is happiness?/ How do I know if I’m happy?

Happiness, is an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and, fulfillment. While happiness has many different definitions, it is often described as involving positive emotions and life satisfaction.

Because, hardcore happiness, tends to be such a broadly defined term, psychologists and other social scientists typically use the term ‘subjective well-being’ when they talk about this emotional state. Just as it sounds, subjective well-being tends to focus on an individual’s overall personal feelings about their life in the present.

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• Why does happiness matter?

Research shows that, hardcore happiness, leads to a wide range of benefits for our performance, health, relationships and more. So, rather than success being the key to, hardcore happiness, research shows that, happiness, could in fact be the key to success. Indeed, hardcore happiness, also brings substantial benefits for society as a whole. For example, a review of more than 160 studies found “clear and compelling evidence” that happier people have better overall health and live longer than their less happy peers.

The sad truth is that in recent decades we have become substantially richer but no happier. We have reached the point where mental health is one of our greatest social challenges – causing more of the suffering in our society than either unemployment or poverty. This is why increasing numbers of policymakers and leaders are now calling for measures of progress to be based on human wellbeing and happiness, not just economic factors such as growth in GDP.

• Does the Happiness Formula work for everyone

The, happiness formula, does work for everyone. Here is the formula. Seligman soon came up with a formula for happiness, H=S+C+V, where happiness (H) is the sum of a person’s genetic capacity for happiness (S), their circumstances (C), and factors under their voluntary control (V)

So Let me ask you this question. Are you Happy?

If you are struggling with Anxiety, depression, career issues, relationship issues, work/life balance, performance & productivity enhancement?
Then this training is for you .

Are you longing to feel happy in life?
Are you tired of living an uninspired, unenergized and luke-warm life?

If you are ready to live the life of your dreams, and find, hardcore happiness, feel in control, fulfilled and driven with purpose then head over to nakedmoment.com where Swami Brahmananda will help you to find the missing pieces and become the person you were born to be.

You deserve, happiness, and you CAN attain it. With Swami’s guidance and the power of an entire community of, happiness seekers,  you too can wake up happy.

Don’t know what your perfect life looks like?
Can’t seem to get out of your own way?
Always feel down, filled with fear or guilt?
Do you feel like your environment isn’t supporting you?

Stop feeling like there is no way out. There’s one clear step to take to find, hardcore happiness, and right now if you head over to nakedmoment.com/transform there will be some amazing free bonuses for you to get a head start on your happiness journey. Don’t wait. Join a growing community and get happy.

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Bonus Gift!
For all my listeners who sign up for the Happiness training, send me an email to info@myhelps.us and I will send you a bonus gift of my “Mindset Shift Focus Wheel workbook” You need a mindset shift in order to be happy in the present moment regardless of your circumstance.

If you found this blog post and podcast inspiring, please subscribe, rate and review and also share with your friends.

Additional Resources

How to be Happy: The Happiness Formula

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

 

How to Find Happiness After a Tough Year

How to Find Your Purpose in Life

You can, find your purpose, in life by paying attention to your passions. Your master, purpose in life, is to spread happiness. You will always see the optimism in life no matter how dark it may seem.

Are you lifted by your purpose? This week on Mindset Transformation Radio and Podcast, I interview Ms Arifah Yusuf who is not only lifted by her, purpose, but founded a company called Lifted By Purpose where she helps youths in Toronto, Canada to become lifted by their purpose.

As Arifah was working with the youth she noticed their tattoos and decided to have a spin off company called Tattoo Stories. She used the tattoos stories to help her clients share their stories through the images they permanently put on their bodies.

How to Find Your Purpose in Life

How we perceive images can help us, find your purpose.

How you react to an image can tell you a lot about you, including your, life’s purpose.
Art speaks to us because it’s about us. It’s about our collective and individual journeys in this wondrous, immeasurable universe.

As Chuck Klosterman said, “Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.”  Images stir up numerous emotions in the beholder: awe, shock, sorrow, rage, and even repulsion. You may feel an intense, nameable emotion within seconds of seeing an image, or it could take several minutes of staring at the image before you can decide what it means to you. And as art is as diverse as the people who create and perceive it, the responses to it naturally vary. Art can play a crucial role in self-discovery and an individual’s, purpose in life.

Image test to find your purpose

Click the link below to take your image, purpose, test and see what it shows is your, purpose.

https://themindsjournal.com/this-image-test-will-reveal-your-true-purpose-in-life/

I took this test and my test revealed that my purpose was to spread Happiness. So True.

“Your master, purpose in life, is to spread happiness. You will always see the optimism in life no matter how dark it may seem. You can distinguish the lightness from the darkness and this is what takes you to another level. With happiness, everything can be cured and your purpose is to spread this feeling in times most needed.”

Bio

Arifah Yusuf, is a registered social worker from Ryerson University. She has 12 years experience engaging and developing programs for youth, facilitating workshops and providing counseling services. Ms. Yusuf was nominated and awarded the Community Health Champion Award for her dedication working with youth. In 2015 she received the leadership award from Canadian Alliance of Black Educators and in 2016, the Ontario Leading Women in Community Award.

She is trained and certified by the National Organization for Victims Assistance, Traumatology institute, and is a Mental Health First Aid Instructor. In her role at Lifted By purpose, she is the Founder and Executive Director.

 

How did you find your purpose?

Can you tell us your journey as a social worker and how it transitioned into founding Lifted by Purpose?
I grew up a a rough neighborhood in Toronto. As a youth, I had a family member who died from Homicide and that affected me profoundly; but I did not have an outlet to grieve so I became very depressed. As I got older, I wanted to become a social worker so I can help other youths who experienced trauma to have a space to talk and get help. This is how I found my, purpose.

Today “Lifted by purpose” helps youths, find their purpose, and provides services to help the youth with coping skills and prepare for a purposeful future.

Using tattoo stories to find the meaning of life

You have an offspring from Lifted by purpose called Tattoo stories. Can you tell our audience what that is about and how tattoo helps youths find their, purpose.

During counselling I started asking my clients to tell me their stories about the permanent tattoos on their bodies. I found that these tattoos were connected to their, purpose in life. Most life events are marked with a tattoo.

Services offered to help find your purpose

What are some projects and services provided by Lifted by purpose.
At Lifted by Purpose we focus on the arts.
Some of our services are:

  • Music stress program 10 to 20 weeks
  • Playlist therapy that identifies tracks that speak to grief or loss
  • How to have healthy Relationships
  • How to identify triggers that move them into making bad choices
  • Identify coping skills
  • Tattoo stories and what they mean

I see from the information you provided me for the interview that your target audience is young people between the ages of 16 to 29 years who are at risk or already in the justice system. How does your program help these young people, find your purpose.

Our program helps our youth to harness their story

  • Understand how to utilize their stories to understand themselves.
  • Reflect on how their stories has influenced their choices in life
  • How to flip a negative story into something positive
  • Action steps. Are they ready to make a change
  • How does their story affect their purpose and lift them up.

How does Tattoo stories tie into meaning of life

Tattoo stories Helps the youth understand their, purpose and have a voice that can help others on their journey.

 

Order Here

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/6-ways-to-find-your-purpose/

 

 

How do You Define Success?

Barack Obama great Leader

Defining Success

Question 1: How do you define success?
As successful musicians, would you define, success, by how far you have come in your career or do you feel that success has to do with how happy we are?

Joe: I define, success, as the simple act of making, goals, and working towards it.
I believe that we should make both short term, goals, and long term, goals, i.e make 6 month, goals, so we can check them off as we achieve them and longer term, goals, like 5 to 10 years.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Definition of Success

William – I define, success, as “Not Quitting”
I believe that we have to persevere to accomplish our goals and success to me is being knocked down and getting back up.

Darrell – I define success as a legacy.
I believe that we have to leave legacy for our children and families.

Question 2: How have you used failure to fuel your success?
Can you tell the audience of some of your most profound failures and how it lead to your ultimate, success?

William – We should use failures to help us grow and to learn from our mistakes.
Also I have developed the personal mantra that says that

No means Not Now!

So I have become successful by just getting the No’s out of the way to get to the Yes
I also believe that the acronym POOR means Pass Over Opportunity so I always look for opportunities in my failures.

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Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

Failure makes us Stronger

Darrell – Failure makes us stronger.
For me failure is never an option.
My acronym is JOB Just Over Broke
Because if you have a job and working for the man, you will always be Just Over Broke!

BIM – When you fall you get back up, you never stay down.

Joe – I won’t lie, failure makes you want to quit!
When your kids are hungry and they are looking at you with eyes that say we are hungry
It does make you want to quit but you always have to remember your WHY.
If you don’t know your WHY, then you will fail because you will not have the strength to persevere and stay the course.

Define the Success Mindset

Question 3: As you know, success, is a mindset.

What are some of your beliefs that allowed you to succeed?

Joe – My belief is what you get out what you put in!
And Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

BIM – Pray! I am always on my knees praying

Darrell – I believe in a higher power

William – I believe Why Not Me?
Why can’t I be a successful Entrepreneur?
I believe that God put us on this earth to live more abundantly and not just to survive.

How to be Successful

What advise would you give to our listeners including our female listeners on, how to be successful.

There has been a lot of attention lately on women having to endure male advances and harassment to succeed. How can women be successful without giving up their values to men? How do you feel this can be prevented?

William – Women have to believe to believe in their, success. They are smarter than men because they have natural intuition. They are and as such they should not have to give up their morals to get ahead.
They have to believe that they have equal rights as much as men to the positions they aspire to be in.

How do you define your success?

  • Success, is the achievement of something that you have been trying to do.
  • Success, is the achievement of a high position in a particular field, for example in business or politics.
  • Someone or something that is a, success, achieves a high position, makes a lot of money, or is admired a great deal.


As we enter into the New Year, what are your, goals, for, success?
Where did you miss the mark in the year that passed?

Do a year in review.
Did you let circumstances get the way of your perseverance?
Or did you achieve all your goals?

If you did not, maybe this would be the time to invest in yourself and hire a Life Coach.

Learn more

Additional Resources

Nothing is Impossible: How to Turn Life’s Challenges Into Opportunity

Is Love the Same in Christianity, Hinduism and Buddhism?

love christianity hinduism
Love,  in, Christianity, is reflected in God’s love for us, he sent his only begotten son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins. The bible, teaches us to Love one another as we love ourselves.
The Bible, “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in, Christ Jesus, our Lord.”

Love, in, Christianity 

Jesus Christ, is my teacher and the Son Of God.  Loving yourself is more than providing the necessities of life for oneself. It is more than finding good employment, providing for one’ s family, a nice house and some money in the bank. It is deeper than that.
Love, is spirit. It can be felt by strangers. It is a force of good and a power that connects us all. When you, love in Christianity, you take time to know and acquaint yourself with this force.  We are dually physical and non-physical beings, it is the secret to access the quantum universe.
Unfortunately, most of us only concentrate on the physical because that is what we see. We think we, love, ourselves because we take care of our bodies.
  • We exercise (some of us).
  • We eat nutritious foods that nourish our bodies (some of us)
  • and we protect ourselves from the sun and get the recommended amount of sleep (again some of us).

But how often can a stranger feels your, love, because you gave them a welcoming smile? How often do you find a quiet spot and pay attention to your breathing, your source and the center of your spirit? How often do you feel the, love, from a flower or from the stillness of a tree? God shows his love in, the bible, verses about, love, and by the beauty he created in nature. When we show our appreciation for nature we find God in beauty.

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Have you ever felt love from an inanimate object like a painting or a building? I visited the Taj Mahal earlier this month. It is one of the seven wonders of the world because of it’s beauty. When you visit the Taj Mahal you feel the love for which it was intended. The building was constructed to immortalize Emperor Shah Jahan’s, love, for his wife.  So, love in Christianity, means to appreciate your neighbor, as you appreciate yourself, extend that feeling past the boundaries of your family and trauma and make the world a better place to live.

Love in, Hinduism

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Hinduism, The eternal affection of Radha and Krishna has been the subject of great, religion, and philosophical imagery and is one of the foundational ethos of Hindu dharma.
The, love, of Radha and Krishna is not rooted in physicality. On the contrary it is allegorical. Jesus Christ, says “the mind that constantly remembers me, comes to dissolve and revel in me”.
Radha is the personification of this deeply devoted mind. The pain of Radha’s separation from Krishna is the pain of the estranged soul searching for the embrace of the universal spirit. Radha is the individual and Krishna is the essence and objective of life.
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Radha is always the chosen one, but when Radha realizes the pride of having the Supreme Lord all to herself was coloring her mind, he disappears from her heart. Krishna then multiplies himself to be present between every two Gopis. The Gopis are believed to represent thought waves. The presence of Krishna between every two  Gopis, symbolizes that the eternal truth exists everywhere, and it can be perceived by the true seeker even between two thought waves.
Radha represents the purest and most beautiful amongst these divine thoughts and Krishna represents the supreme bliss that can be attained by dedicating one’s mind to the divine.
Excerpt from Shyam Banerji “Hindu Gods and Temples”

Love, in, Buddhism

Basic Buddhism  – Buddhism, is both simple and profound. On a daily basis it advocates watching the mind so that all thoughts, actions and words manifest a kind and compassionate attitude towards all others. It is the loving heart that places others above self. Herein lies the ultimate wisdom of existence.
When you understand that the existence of all things, all beings, and all concepts is empty except in relation to other things, beings, and concepts, then you will be close to becoming awakened, crossing into a state of permanent happiness.
When you succeed in eliminating ignorance and replacing it with real wisdom, suffering comes to an end; because in understanding the true nature of existence you are no longer bound by the illusions of Samsara. It is Karma – the law of cause and effect- that gives life it’s moral code. The Buddha thus advised doing everything to create good karma, for this has the power to propel you into a rebirth in circumstances that are conducive to practicing Dharma.
Thereby having the chance to attain enlightenment. Practicing Dharma means showing generosity, having a good heart, love, purifying negative karma, and creating good karma. It also means embarking on a spiritual path that leads to enlightenment.

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When The Vision Fails: Dealing with Failure

dealing with failure

What happens when the vision ends? dealing with failure. In November 2016, most of the country was left in shock when Donald Trump won the general elections, because he did not win the popular vote. Hilary Clinton , failed, at her bid once again to become the first woman president of the United States of America. This was the second time an non established candidate knocked her off the podium. What was the cause of this, failure? I understand Hilary had a hard time, dealing with failure. Why did a woman who has been in politics for over 50 years, been the wife of a great president, founder of a great charitable foundation that provides vaccines for millions of poor children around the world, a champion for the people, lose to a man with no political experience, thinks that some people are superior to some because of their religion, sex and disability?

Was this, failure, because first and foremost she is a woman? It is harder, dealing with failure, when you lost because you are a woman.

 

Overcoming Failure

In Numbers 27 we see the daughters of Zelophehad, challenging an age-old law that said the women could not inherit the land. In those days’ women were not even counted as part of the church congregation. This was the pre-CHRIST era. Yet today we are still fighting for women’s rights.
Millions of men and women in the United States of America voted for Donald J Trump because he is a white male. One of my followers on Facebook posted that Hilary couldn’t run the country because she is a woman!

Let’s bring this discussion closer to home. Specifically, your home.

What happens when you have a clear, vision, that you worked on every day for most of your life and you fail to realize it time and time again? How do you, deal with failure? The bible says “Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” Refuse to be deterred by opinions, policies, and traditions. Do you become disheartened, dealing with failure? God can change the minds and hearts of the populist. What he did for the daughters of Zelophehad, he can do for Hilary Clinton and he can do for you. We can, overcome failure, by keeping the, vision, in front of you and get back up every time you get knocked down.

 

5 things you can do after, failure, of a goal, company, dream, marriage etc.

1: Watch your Thoughts

Most of us do not understand the power of our thoughts.
Dealing with failure, our thoughts are the highest energy frequency, and has the power to attract like thoughts floating around in the energy vortex. If you don’t watch your thoughts and consciously send back the negative thoughts that make you feel bad, you will experience, failure, for sure. Before you know it you would be a powerful magnet attracting every like thought that comes into range. Keep this up and soon you will be like a hot air balloon that is too filled with poop to take off!

2: Find the good in the situation is another tip to, dealing with failure

Shakespeare says

“Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”

Brian Webb author of Don’t Give Up, don’t ever give up shares his story in his book with that name and is great advice for, dealing with failure.
One day he had a headache like he had never felt before, extremely intense, he felt like he needed to throw up so he went to the bathroom. While in the bathroom he and passed out. He woke up 3 days later from a coma to find out that a blood vessel had ruptured in his brain. He could no longer walk or talk. He realized that life as he knew it, was over.
Doctors predicted that he would never be able to walk, drive a car or live independently again.

Three months later he was released from the hospital. He couldn’t talk, walk, or work. In fact, there was a lot of things he couldn’t do. But he decided to focus on what he could do instead. You heard the saying. When life gives you lemons, or, failure? You make lemonade! Well he decided to make some lemonade.

There is good in every situation, we live in a world of contrast. Nothing exists without its opposite. Find the good in your situation.
Brian decided to focus on fitness.

With the help of his therapist he began to exercise. He began learning to walk again. When he fell down, or experienced, failure, he would get back up. Walking turned to running. This man who could not walk a year ago, now became a marathon runner! I am in perfect physical health and I can’t even run a 5K race without stopping and I would guess this would be true for most of you listening. What makes some people hold a vision in front of them and don’t take failure as an option, while others give up after the first try?

Why is Brian’s story so inspirational? Because of his way of, dealing with failure. He turned his, failure, into triumph. He decided to focus on what he could do instead of what he couldn’t do, and with practice and time, changed his life trajectory. He walked again, talked again, ran again and worked again! What do you need to get back on? I can promise you that if you work at it, you will succeed.
Where there is a will, there is always a way.

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3: Change the momentum after Failure 

I love Abraham by Ester Hicks. I was listening to one of her videos a few months back and someone in her workshop asked her why he kept attracting negative experiences even though he was conscious about his energy vortex and made conscious effort to clean up his vortex. Your vortex is your energy frequency or your aura.

Abraham’s response was to explain momentum. Ever heard the saying:

The worst it gets, the worst it gets, and the better it gets, the better it gets?

That is all about momentum. If you think bad thoughts and feel bad, then you attract more, failure. The only way to stop the negative spiral of, failure, or negative momentum is to find something about the situation to be grateful for.

Let’s say you are Nick Vujicic and you were born with no arms and no legs. Can you think of a worst fate? You are totally dependent on someone to bath you, feed you, and wipe your butt, for the rest of your life. He can’t even hug his wife. Yet Nick is one of the happiest people you will ever meet. He found many things to be grateful for and because his vortex is full of positive momentum, he attracts great things. He travels all around the world getting paid to speak and motivate others. He has a beautiful wife and son. He learned to swim, use his toes as his hand and do lots of things people with hands and feet take for granted.

The thing about momentum is that it resets itself while you are asleep and is great for, dealing with failure. When you sleep, your spirit leaves your body in much the same way it does when your body dies. So, you have to deliberately keep the negative momentum going by thinking negative thoughts when you wake up in the morning. One way to change the momentum is to develop the practice of thinking of things you are grateful for before bed and on rising. The other is to find something in the situation to be grateful for. In the case of Hilary Clinton. She could be grateful that she will not speed up her aging by 20 years in the time span of 4 years. We all see what that job does to Presidents! It is a time warp!

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4: Look for an alternate way to serve, what is your plan B?

I was watching Oprah, another of my favorite people, on Super Soul Sunday a few months back and this very inspirational story was showcased.
This story was about this boy now man who had a, vision, from God when he was 10 years old of swinging his daughter around while she was laughing hysterically. He even got her name in his vision, Cloe. He held this, vision, to his heart dearly and never doubted for a moment that this, vision, would come true and that one day he would have a daughter just like he saw. Cloe had olive skin and brown eyes.

In his early 20’s, he started dating and subsequently fell in love with his childhood friend who was blond with fair skin and blue eyes. Having the vision of his daughter clearly in his mind, he didn’t think that this was the woman God intended for him to marry, because she could not be the mother of a child with olive skin and brown eyes.
One day they were sitting in his car discussing the future and started talking about children. His girlfriend told him that she wanted a daughter and that she would like to name her Cloe. He couldn’t believe it.

Would you have liked to be a fly on the wall when they both discovered that they were meant to be together, because God gave them both the same dream! Halelewa!
He knew that this was the girl that God chose for him to marry.

They got married and immediately started trying to have a family, they couldn’t wait to meet Cloe; but nothing happened. Four years passed, six years passed. The pain was deep from this, failure.  How could God give them both a, vision, that failed. How could he be so cruel. For a time, they both became separated from God. They no longer believed. But their faith returned!
The obvious next choice was adoption but they both rejected that option at first. They both wanted their own child. They wanted the baby girl named Cloe. They thought adoption was putting a band aid over their pain.

Finally, after many years of, dealing with failure, they made the mindset shift and decided to adopt a baby. They found an alternative way to fulfill their purpose of being parents.
They waited for some time for the right fit. Months passed before they received an email that a pregnant mother had chosen them to be parents of her unborn child. She was giving it up for adoption. She was also having a girl!

There were exhilarated! Finally, they were going to be parents of a baby girl. They started choosing a name. Cloe was off the table. Cloe was the name of the baby girl God had intended for them to have. This baby girl was not the vision that God had given both of them.

They decided to meet the mother of their new baby girl and get to know her. They drove to her home and when she opened the door, the man noticed that she looked like a grown-up version of the little girl named Cloe that he saw when he was 10 years old. Same olive skin, same features, same eyes. When they sat down to visit with the mother. She asked them if they had a name picked out for the baby. She told them she had a name and she hoped they would keep it. Can you guess what it was? I am sure 100% of you listening would guess right. Cloe.
Still gives me chills. I don’t know what will be Hilary’s path, history will let us know but I know for sure that if the, vision, comes from God, there is never, failure.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

5: Remember that there are several routes to your destination if you experience failure

Don’t get tied to a particular path. God is like your GPS navigation system, he can take the fastest route, the scenic route, he can bypass the city and construction zones; but he will get you to your destination. God gave this couple a, vision, that they will be parents of a baby girl named Cloe. He never showed them a vision of the wife being pregnant or delivering a baby. They added that little piece. He showed the man a, vision, of him playing with a daughter named Cloe. He showed him the destination.

If you believe that your, vision, is from God, then when you experience, failure, you would refuse to be deterred. You would not grow weary and disheartened. In, dealing with failure, you would look for an open door, you would look for the lesson so that you can be better prepared for the next battle. You would never quit until you WIN or you DIE. God said in the bible “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” So hear this, if you have failed in something, know that it is not the end!

As I wrap up this post from the Transform Your Mind radio show and podcast. Today I have been coaching on “When The Vision Fails: 5 Things you can do after a failure.” I hope you gleamed something and had a few aha moments. If you have experienced failure, I hope you were encouraged to get up and try again.

You can listen again to this broadcast and any of my previous shows by downloading then on iTunes.
Please remember to subscribe and leave a review.

If you would like to contact me for personal coaching or to be a guest on this radio show and podcast please contact me on the web @ www.myrnayounghelps.com

Additional Resources

Can you recognize your failure symptoms?

How to Assemble Your Power Team Like WandaVision

power team wandavision

Valeri Bocage lost everything in hurricane Katrina and used her pain to create her company Powerful Women International. She believes that the greater your pain the greater things that are birthed from this pain. In the, WandaVision,  prequel, Vision, was, well, very dead. … Wanda eventually managed to destroy the Mind Stone – and, Vision, – but Thanos turned back time and plucked it out anyway. Both outcomes killed, Vision.

Valerie says  that whenever you focus on what you have lost, you can never move forward. Her purpose was to make a difference.
She says to figure out who your audience is. Who are you supposed to make a difference to?

My tip of the week is:

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

Our guest today shared her story of losing everything in hurricane Katrina and bouncing back to become the CEO of Powerful Women International. To do that she had to have positive self-worth and positive, core beliefs. Beliefs are the truths people hold on to that guide our life. The power of belief can trap you, as in the belief that you deserve only a limited amount of happiness. Or belief can free you, as in the belief that you are safe and protected in the cosmic plan.

When you open your awareness to your strongest, core beliefs, which are known as, core beliefs, two things happen. First, you find out who you are and why you behave in the ways you do. Second, new energies become available when you pursue the, core beliefs, that are life-supporting, fulfilling, and spiritually transforming.

A powerful, core belief, is pure and direct. It gives you a clear sense of who you are. It isn’t confused, conflicted, or compromised. Let’s take steps to make this the kind of, core belief, you are activating. Step one is to bring your, core beliefs, into awareness. The four, core beliefs,  you want to activate are:

  • I am loving and lovable.
  • I am worthy.
  • I am safe and trusting.
  • I am fulfilled and whole.

You already have existing, core beliefs, in these four areas of love, self-worth, security, and fulfillment. Your beliefs can’t be changed simply by throwing out an old one and adopting a new one like changing your wardrobe. The change must come at the level of self-awareness. At the core of your being, where your true self resides, the truth about you is clear and unequivocal: You deserve unconditional love; you are of unique worth in the universe; you can trust Nature to protect and uphold you; and your fulfillment comes from being whole.

To overhaul your beliefs means that you get closer and closer to your core beliefs, these four inner truths, which are absolute. Right now, there’s a gap between them and what you experience. For most people, the positive and negative side of their core beliefs depend on how good or bad their experiences have been in the past. If you have been deeply hurt in love, for example, it is hard to adopt the core belief that you deserve infinite love.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

A Self-Awareness Exercise to Create Your Core Beliefs

Hawkeye on , WandaVision, is self aware that he is the weakest link.  Although he is an extremely skilled marksman, Clint Barton is often considered to be the weakest Avenger seeing as he’s just a regular guy with a bow and arrow.  Reliving experiences from the past only keeps you stuck in the past. Your core beliefs are activated in the now, every day. They can only be changed in the now! Here’s how:

Look upon what’s happening now as a reflection of your,  core beliefs.  If the reflection is negative, pause and ask yourself why it fits the storyline your beliefs create. If you experience any kind of abusive treatment, for example, this reflects a victimhood story supported by a core belief that keeps you in the story. If you experience unexpected kindness, on the other hand, this reflects a storyline that includes compassion and reflects a core belief in how much you deserve love.

A, core belief, that God has plans to prosper you, will take you through any setback.

• Valeri Bocage started Powerful Women International in 2006 after moving to San Francisco, a move that was prompted by the loss of everything during Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. Valeri lost everything except her indomitable spirit to help others. Initially, Powerful Women International was formed to help women live their dreams and to begin to support each other worldwide to fulfill their utmost dreams and expand themselves as leaders worldwide.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

How did Valerie build and assemble her Power teams?

Power Team, is  a team consisting of people who possess all the strengths needed to achieve your mission. They are an extension of you not a mirror. 

You’ve thought about your, power team,  and created an ideal customer profile based on that aspiration. The same thing should be done as you prepare to build your, power team, members.

As you make a list of your, power team,  you’ll need an:

  • accountant,
  • marketer,
  • social media manager,
  • content writer,
  • public relations manager,
  • customer service representatives

This is the time to aim high; to refuse to settle for less-than-ideal.

With her,  Power Team,  by her side, Valerie was able to take her brand to more people, with greater positive impact. Too many brand builders work to simply fill positions, when they should be working to hire those people who will further the reach and value of their brands. Who will you hire next? What challenges are you experiencing whilst hiring? What difference your, Power Team, made.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

 

Additional Resources

All-girl engineer team invents solar-powered tent for the homeless

Daniela Orozcoshe recalls how many homeless people she saw on her way to school when she was a high school freshman.

 

How do You Define Success?

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

How to Detox the Body and Soul for Internal and External Success

detoxing the body and soul

No matter how diligent you are about your wellness routine, your body is still a repository for dangerous toxins from the environment and everyday products so it is important to, detox your body. We are most times tricked by misleading labels that use words like  “natural” or “healthy,” that are full of preservatives, nitrates, antibiotics, and hormones.

Today on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Life Coach Kim McDaniel.
Kim is going to teach us, How to Detox the Body, and, Soul, for Internal and External Success. Kim is the author of the book “Come out with your hands Up – The Joy of Surrendering on God’s terms”

Why detoxing is important:

Detoxing your body, is important because your body is your asset. Building sky scrapers on weak foundations can be detrimental. In the same manner, piling on outer successes without addressing the internal structure, can look great from the outside, but cracks in the foundation will have one of two outcomes – explosion or implosion. Regularly, detox your body, to help to ensure the integrity of the structure – our structure – and it must be intentional.

 

The function of the Soul 

Detox your body, and your, soul. The function of the, soul, is to indicate it’s desire.
The function of the mind is to choose from it’s alternatives.
The function of the body is to act out that choice.
The, soul, speaks to you in feelings. Feelings are the language of the, soul.
There comes a time in the evolution of every, soul, when the chief concern is no longer the survival of the physical body, but the growth of the spirit. No longer the attainment of worldly success, but the realization of self.
Upon death, the body and mind are not dropped. The body changes form, leaving it’s most dense part behind, but retaining it’s outer shell, joining with the spirit as one energy mass of  three dimensions.

How to Detox your body Naturally

Choose to, detox your body, naturally instead of using chemicals. The rewards are many. You won’t just be healthier when you, detox your body,  you’ll have more energy, boost your immune system, and improve your cognitive abilities. With that in mind, here are 3 ways to, detox your body, that is to cleanse your body of harmful chemicals and other toxins.

  • Drink green tea. It’s not a myth that green tea has powerful antioxidant effects to, detox your body. Antioxidants help the body counteract “free radicals,” dangerous compounds that result from toxic influences in the body.
  • Drink more water. Drinking plenty of water is one of the best ways to, detox your body. Water helps eliminate chemicals from your intestines and kidneys, which makes it an ideal for, detoxing.
  • Take a steam bath. This should be the capstone of every successful body, detoxing, process. Steam therapy helps provide cellular-deep elimination of stubborn toxins that accumulate in your body.
Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

How frequently should one do a detox for the body?

This is a really good question because if you, detox your body, for too long or too often you can loss valuable nutrients along with the toxins and leave your body depleted.

For this reason I wouldn’t recommend doing a ‘full on’ cleanse were you restrict your diet for more than 2 to 4 times a year.

Diabetics also need to be careful of, detoxing, because they require a steady supply of energy. If you are ill, it is advisable to seek medical supervision for any, detoxification process.

If you practice vegetarianism or veganism you don’t consume as many toxins as meat and diary eaters so you need to, detox your body, less often.

 

Detoxing the “soul” – what exactly does that refer to?

Detoxing your body,  is vitally important, but when will we take the same consideration for our, souls?

When you, detox your body, you put yourself  on a special diet and carefully monitor three basic things:

  1. Healthy, clean, detoxifying food and drink
  2. Anything harmful, like chemicals and toxins, caffeine and harmful medicine  
  3. Things that promote your health and help purge toxins

There are many more toxins attacking your, soul, than your body, and just like your body, it’s not good! The toxins—sinful habits, lack of prayer, inappropriate hobbies—in your, soul, are so bad for you that they can damage your body, too. If only we could test the state of our, soul, at the doctor’s office we would become conscious of these toxins.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Is there really a science to detoxing the brain?

You’ve probably heard of  how to, detox your body,  intended to cleanse your body and jumpstart better health and weight loss. But what about a, brain detox? Your brain is the most metabolically active organ in your body. As such, it can be damaged from environmental toxins. It is also vulnerable to toxic relationships, toxic habits, and toxic thinking patterns. In fact, it’s your brain that carries the heaviest toxic load in your entire body. And for many of us, that load has never been greater. With the pandemic, rampant anxiety, and other stressors, now is the best time ever to do a brain detox.

No science to, detoxing, the brain. If your brain has been assaulted by toxic substances, toxic people, or toxic thinking, it puts you at risk for cognitive and mental health problems. Functional brain imaging with SPECT can help you see the health of your brain and understand areas that need optimization. A troubled brain can’t wait. During these uncertain times, your emotional and cognitive well-being is more important than ever and waiting until life gets back to “normal” is likely to make your symptoms worsen over time.

What is the relevance of building fences – I thought success looks like building bridges.

Tell me a little about your Get in S.H.A.P.E. program to Detox Your Body
S – Stress and Sleep
H – Hydration
A – Alkaline
P- Purpose
E – Energy and Exercise

 

There is another way to, Detox the body, and the, Soul!
Take that much needed break from your hectic city life and explore the soul-cleansing North-East.

Follow Coach Myrna
Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/MyhelpsInc/
Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/myhelps/
Twitter @ https://twitter.com/myrna_morris
web: www.myrnayounghelps.com
blog.myhelps.us

If you are interested in becoming a guest on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast email Coach Myrna Young @info@myhelps.us

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/90-days-of-encouragement-for-the-listening-soul/

 

 

How to Become the Author of Your Life

Be the Author of Your Life

We are the, author, of our lives. When we were born we had an beginning page and an end page.  It is up to us to, author, and fill in the pages in-between. We are the, author, of the script, the director and the producer of our lives. Life by design, is what I teach as a, life coach. And I think that one of the first things that we can do is if we understand the power of self-amplifying feedback loops, the way our spaces influence our thinking and our thinking in turn influences our spaces.  We could then control what happens to us by exercising creative control over the circumstances that we throw ourselves into.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Introduction to Life by Design

There’s always going to be the wild card. There’s always going to be the circumstances you can’t plan for; but, life by design, is the concept that we can use our thoughts and the, law of attraction, to bring to us all that we desire.  There’s always the unexpected relevance and the, serendipity. But just like that book The Power of Pull talks about, we can funnel the, serendipity, or we can channel the, serendipity, funnel. We can help engender and engineer serendipity by the choices that we make every moment, and live a, life by design.

  • We all have experienced the, serendipity, of relevant information arriving just when we were least expecting it.

  • It was only through pure, serendipity, that I met my best friend!

  • Your chances of finding such a feature are down to either extremely assiduous trawling or mere, serendipity.

So by cultivating rich social networks, by cultivating weak ties, not just closed ties but the weak ties, by becoming connectors and by connecting others so that they connect us, we create a world in which these self-amplifying feedback loops feed on top of each other. So good circumstances lead to other good circumstances which lead to other good circumstances and each one of them encourages us to then live more openly and participate in that sort of creative flow space. Live a, life by design.

Be the, author, of your own self-help book, I just really believe that our creative choices ultimately shape who we become and so we should all be discerning and be radically open whenever possible and I think that we really can make a masterpiece out of our own lives if we so choose. But that requires, it requires a boldness of character as well, because seeing the radical freedom to live a, life by design. We have to compose our lives, what Leary called internal freedom.

The vertigo of freedom, this dizzying – what do I do? I can do anything? Well, the paradox of too much choice. But I think we can embrace that with courage and with boldness, and once we do, there’s nothing we can’t do but, author, the life we want.

Author of our Own Lives

As the, author, of our own lives we can begin by taking control of our own lives. This  requires recognizing that while family or social circumstances influence our character, they do not determine it absolutely. The same is true of the most basic instincts that come from our heredity and bodily constitution. These instinctive ways of acting can be molded and guided by the exercise of a will that heeds the dictates of a well-formed reason.

Our personality is forged to the extent that we make free decisions, since our actions not only alter our environment but also shape our way of being. Although at times we aren’t fully aware of it, the repetition of acts leads us to acquire particular customs or attitudes in facing reality. Therefore when we explain the reason for our spontaneous reactions, rather than saying “that’s the way I am,” we should often admit: “that’s the way I have made myself.”

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iHeart Radio

Our lives are conditioned by factors that are often difficult to control: for example, the quality of family relationships, the social environment in which we grow up, an illness that limits us in one way or another, etc. Although often we are unable to ignore or undo these limitations, we can certainly change our attitude in confronting them, especially if we are aware that nothing escapes God’s provident care. “It is important to keep reminding ourselves that Jesus did not address himself to a privileged set of people; he came to reveal the universal love of God to us. God loves all mankind, and he wants all to love him.  God is also the, author, and finisher of our lives. In any situation, even one that entails great limitations, we can offer God and our neighbors deeds of love, no matter how small these may seem. Who knows how great the value is of a smile in the midst of tribulation, of suffering offered to our Lord in union with the Cross, of patiently accepting small annoyances and setbacks! Nothing can quench a limitless love, a love stronger than suffering, loneliness, abandonment, betrayal, slander, physical and moral suffering, and even death itself.

Additional resources

How to be Happy with Less

How to Fly like an Eagle above the Storms of Life

 

Motivate Yourself with The Power of Positive Thinking

Positive mindset

You can motivate yourself with the 3 P’s Patience Persistence and Positivity.  Learn, how to motivate yourself, with the power of, positive thinking. 

Introduction to Positive Thinking

Synopsis of, Patience, Let’s  say you are stranded in the woods. It is dark and it is cold. You need to make a fire to stay warm and to cook anything you can catch. You find a dry stick and a hollow branch and you set about rubbing the stick and the branch together feverishly. You keep this up, rubbing and blowing patiently hoping to create a spark that could be nursed into a fire. You keep rubbing, and blowing. You have all day and all night….. you have, positive thinking, because if you don’t you will surely freeze to death.

Persistence, – When you get tired you take a short break and then you get back to work. You tell yourself, “The fire will start”.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

 

Positivity,  You believe the fire will start. You keep your, positivity, by telling  yourself “I will have fire, I will stay warm, I will have food to cook and eat”. You let none of the negative thoughts that pop into your head linger, you send them back immediately. Negative thoughts such as, you don’t know how to a make fire, you are not a cave man, maybe the bush is wet and it will not light, you will die of hunger and cold because no one will find you.

No.. as soon as any of these thoughts come into your mind, you reject them and send them back!. You keep rubbing and blowing with increased vigor. You tell yourself “I shall live and not die”.

I use this vision to encourage myself when I am working hard and not seeing results. I need, patience, to keep on working hard knowing that one day I will succeed. I need, persistence,  to do it every day and, positivity, to believe that I will succeed one day.

You can do the same. Find an inspirational story and use it as your map. Some real life examples are Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone. Arnold built his empire and muscles,

One bicep at a time.

Arnold had the, patience, and the, persistence, to stick with his dream of becoming a world champion and playing the part of Hercules in the United States of America. His, Patience, Persistence, and, Positivity, assured him success.

Sylvester Stallone had to sell his dog for $50.00 because he was starving; but he had, patience, to wait until someone offered him the starring role for the script for Rocky, Persistence,  to keep pedaling it to over 1500 studios in New York and the belief and, positivity,  that he will succeed…… and he did.

How to Motivate yourself

You make goals… but then you procrastinate.

You write a to-do list… but then you don’t follow through.

And this happens again and again and again. Seriously, what’s the problem?

You are not, motivated, So how do you, motivate, yourself?

Why are we so good at thinking of what to do; but so terrible at actually, motivate yourself, to actually doing those things?

Procrastination is a mood-management technique, albeit (like eating or taking drugs) a shortsighted one. But we’re most prone to it when we think it will actually help… Well, far and away the most procrastination occurred among the bad-mood students who believed their mood could be changed and who had access to fun distractions. Motivate, yourself so you can leave procrastination in the dust.

How to use, Patience, to, Motivate, Yourself

Meryl Streep on, Patience:

I no longer have, patience, for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me.  I, motivate, myself by have a low threshold for time wasters. I have no, patience, for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate.

I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no, patience, for anyone who does not deserve my, patience.”

The Power of Positive Thinking

The most famous work of Dr. Emoto was published in 1999 and is called ‘Messages from Water,’ which has sold millions of copies all over the world. In the book, Dr. Emoto explains in detail that what we say, feel, and what we listen to has an effect on water. The research clearly shows how the power of, positivity, can transform anything in our physical reality. He uses water as an example. Since human beings are made up primarily of water (60-75% depending on the source), water has a direct effect on us.

Dr. Emoto placed rice into three glass beakers and then fills the beakers with enough water to submerge the rice. To the first beaker, he states the phrase (in Japanese): “Thank you,” “You’re an idiot” to the second, and ignores the third.

A month later, the rice that was thanked fermented and gave a pleasant smell. The rice that was affronted turned black. Finally, the rice that was ignored began to rot. These depictions of the rice are clear in the video of the experiment.

In the end, Dr. Emoto is pictured explaining that how we treat children is especially important. According to Emoto, we should take special care in how we interact with them and ensure that attention is given. He explained that indifference does the greatest amount of harm, as demonstrated by the third beaker of rice in the video. It’s amazing how the jar with positive words was still white and fresh, when in our reality we would at least believe that it would definitely start to go bad. Amazing! That’s the power of, positivity, at work.

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/principle-4-have-a-positive-mind-set/

https://blog.myhelps.us/program-positive-change/