In this episode I talk with Wytisha Williams. Wytisha’s mother tried to take her life at 5 years old, she was molested by her biological father and she attempted suicide several times, but God won’t let her die before she achieved her purpose. Her purpose is to help those who are suffering under the weight of depression, pain, or suicidal thoughts, to become their voice; that is why she wrote the book He Wouldn’t Let Me Die
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Wytisha Williams is a Mental Health Counselor/ PLPC born in Louisiana. She is also a disabled United States Army Veteran and transformational speaker. She coined the word Mind Empowerment which was inspired by the understanding that every challenge begins and ends with the mind. She created the character M.E. who is a white eagle with a crown and cape that represents her brand which signifies a person soaring above the obstacles that were meant to destroy any person.
The crown signifies being a conqueror of adversity and the cape represents being a superhero to oneself. Wytisha knows to defeat any challenge you must empower, equip and properly nurture the mind. She is also the author of HE WOULDN’T LET ME DIE!: To not walk in the purpose that you were given life for is a life not worth living.
Myrna: You start off your book summary with the following statement “This book is based on a series of true events such as the gruesome experience of a mother trying to murder her child, while the same child endures, sexual abuse, by their biological father.” So can you share your story with us please.
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My story of trauma and dysfunction
Wytisha: My life growing up was pretty much a life full of dysfunction. Severe, trauma, because the two people that actually brought me into this world, the most important people in my life, caused me the most, trauma. At age five, my mother tried to take my life. And then around the same age, I had an experience of, molestation, with my biological father. So, growing up, enduring so much, trauma, and it wasn’t just in the household, I suffered a lot of unfair and unjust treatment through from my family members.
So as a child, I did not understand what was taking place and so many different things, so many different what I would call spirits were a part of my life that I lacked, self-esteem. I also endured some of the same abuse and unfair treatment, and bullying in school. I then begin to lash out and react in a way that was uncontrollable, which resulted to me being in a part of the judicial system in a negative manner, becoming a juvenile delinquent, which later kind of trickled over to my adulthood.
But, I always had a feeling that there was something better out there for me. I wanted to get out of Louisiana, so I actually attended college for a year but after still not addressing that, trauma, not receiving help for those childhood traumatic events; all of that stuff that was suppressed and deep down inside. I was still getting into trouble with the law. So, I decided to go into the, United States military. However, when you don’t deal with, childhood trauma, it only manifests in a different manner, or a different way.
So, my behavior became quite severe while I was serving active duty and I was required by my chain of command to receive therapy and address issues that I had endured during my childhood. So that led to me receiving therapy. And that’s when I developed a passion for therapy. It actually planted a seed inside me and motivated me to want to be that voice for people that suffer inside. So, I began the journey of becoming a therapist.
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How the Military helped with my trauma
Myrna: Wow. You know, as you tell the story, I know that you’re healed from it, because I’m not picking up any residual effects of, trauma. So, you have released it. That’s awesome. It looks like you were also injured in the, Military, and became a, disabled veteran. What happened there?
Wytisha: Not trying to go into too much detail. Being an active-duty soldier, I’ve endured multiple conditions within my body. And it’s so funny because when people see me, from outward appearance, they’re like, oh, where are you disabled? I have I have so much pushback when I go to get my disabled pay. When I go to get my certifications, and any type of discount. You know, I get so much pushback because I don’t look disabled. What I continue to do is educate people on is every disability is not visual, you can’t always see every disability, having, mental illness, that’s considered a disability, and you can’t see it.
Myrna: True, I know what you’re talking about. PTSD, which is a disability, you can’t see that either. What inspired you to write the book and share your story, and why did you pick such an amazing title?
He Wouldn’t Let Me Die!: To Not Walk in the Purpose that You Were Given Life for is a Life Not Worth Living.
God won’t let me die after several suicide attempts
I know from your bio, that you tried to commit, suicide, several times. So, let’s talk with that your now. Is that the reason you wrote the book, you named your book, He wouldn’t let me die?
Wytisha: Absolutely, yes, the title coincides with me trying to take my life. Like I say it was, trauma, from the very beginning of my childhood. Yeah, I tried try multiple times to, commit suicide. I did not want to be here, because I just felt hopeless. I felt like I wasn’t worthy of love. I felt like nobody loved me. And I always felt that I was alone. And throughout so much, trauma, and always just being picked on in the home at the school in the community. I’m just like, I’ve never understood why every time I go somewhere, somebody wants to abuse me.
So, when I say my self-esteem was just little to none. The title also ties into people trying to take my life. I’m speaking about, you know, my mother, the giver of life other than my Creator. Her trying to take me out at the age of five. And then you know, I even talk about in my book, another near death experience that I faced with another family member at the age of seven. So, it was like doing the whole entire time of my childhood someone was trying to take me life. When I just looked back over my life, God wouldn’t let me die. So, that’s where the title came from. The enemy has been trying to take me out since birth. You know and he wouldn’t let me die.
Myrna: Why did you write the book?
Wytisha: I’m in a place now where I can actually tell the story holistically without any bitterness or without any type of anger or resentment. My book is basically to help others. So, what started happening to me is I could not sleep and it was like a spiritual thing. It was like God just kept telling me look, you overcame this. There are so many people that do not overcome, trauma. There are so many people that that has attempted to, commit suicide, and has accomplished it and they’re no longer here to tell the story.
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God wouldn’t let me die until I shared my story
And so as a therapist, I talked to so many people that experienced, trauma, abuse, molestation, sexual assault, and they will not talk it. about that mean they will not come for free. God just kept telling me you have to release book, because your story is going to help others heal and transform. And honestly, I’ve fought against it for so long because I did not want to verbalize it or disclose it. So, I had to get to a place where I told myself it’s not about you. It’s about the people that you are going to help.
Myrna: That’s amazing. You know, as you were talking, I was trying to think about what your parents thought about your book?
Wytisha: I don’t have a relationship with either one of my parents especially since the book has come out. Like I said, I don’t have any resentment towards them and I try to make it clear to so many people. And honestly, I wish that we could have actually gone on this journey together. I know that both of my parents experienced, trauma, there was some things that happened to both of them in order for them to do to me what they did. So, when I became older, I began to understand that it didn’t it begin with me, it didn’t begin with them. Somewhere along the line something took place. And so, I’m so adamant about finding answers.
So I did ask both of my parents what happened? Let’s talk about this thing. But their like whatever happened, it happened and we’re not going to talk about it.
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Holding your parents accountable
Myrna: Well, they’re probably not holding any accountability, because they were never, arrested or charged or anything. So, they’re going to say that what you’re saying is not true. They’re not going to admit it. But yes, you have to talk about it. And a lot of people wait until their parents die actually, before they come out and talk about these things because they know how it’s gonna affect the family. So, I give you kudos for being brave enough to talk about it now, so that you can help other people.
As for your parents, it’s very true. Hurt people hurt people. It didn’t start with you, something happened to your parents. That’s the reason they abused you. They should go on a journey of healing and they should ask your forgiveness, to be quite honest, and they should do that before they die. Have you forgiven them?
Wytisha: I don’t have any ill will towards them as people. I can’t say that I have forgiven them.
Myrna: You’re doing great. We’re talking about some very difficult things here and you’re doing great. Excellent, let’s switch to, mental health awareness. You talk about being on the wrong side of the judicial system, serving in the, military, and now being a Therapist. Which one of these roles helped you the most with your, mental health, and, mind empowerment? .
Wytisha: All where necessary, the combination of every last milestone every less accomplishment is what actually has helped me to this point. The experience of me being on the wrong side of the judicial system actually helps me when it comes to counseling, because I can also counsel and help individuals that had been incarcerated. I actually work in a correctional facility, so I can relate on those issues.
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Helping veterans with military trauma and sexual trauma
I can also help and assist other, veterans, that are suffering from, PTSD, or any other type of, military trauma, any type of military, sexual trauma, you know, things of that nature. And being a therapist, of course, the one of the best techniques and counsel that you can put there is empathy, being able to empathize, being able to relate to a client, because it’s one thing when you have an education, education is great, but most people they identify when the limitations of education.
When you sit down and you can actually listen to a person and then you can relate and understand and then also give them recommendations or help or resources that you have also utilized for yourself or apply to your own life. That takes it to another level.
Myrna: So true. One of my coaching clients told me that she would not go to a life coach that hasn’t gone through the same experience that she wants help with, because she doesn’t want anybody tell her stuff that they haven’t gone through. This is why a lot of my coaches and even therapists always help clients with the issues they’ve overcome.
What do you want readers to walk away with after they put the book down? What is the goal of your book?
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The goal of Book: He Wouldn’t Let me die
Wytisha: The goal of the book is to help others that have been through the same experience. Understand that as you say, and I love the way that you put it that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know by being a therapist, there are so many people that are still stuck in there, childhood trauma. And a lot of it comes from not wanting to talk about it, not being able to talk about it. So, I always tell people that this book was to basically be the voice for people that suffer in silence.
I want this book to be able to reach people in every nation, because I’ve shared it’s not about gender. It’s not about race. It’s not about the creed. It’s not about social economics, because we all on some level has experienced some type of, trauma.
It doesn’t matter if it was psychological, mental, emotional, you know, and I shared this before. I mean, you can experience, trauma, as small as your parent making you tie your shoes 100 times a day and when you become an adult you no longer want to wear shoes with laces. Or your, trauma, can be as severe as the abuse I suffered, sexual abuse, and physical abuse.
I want people to be able to read this book and say if she did it, I can do it too. If she overcame it, I can overcome it too. And I just want to be that voice and I want to be that witness that you can overcome it. You can overcome it, that the, trauma, does not control you. It does not have to control you, you can find a way to heal and find a purpose and find joy, peace and happiness through all that you endure. And you have to be willing to let go of the pain.
We all want to learn, how to die. When life is no longer fun for us we sometimes want to, die.
Myrna: How can people connect with you on social media and pick up a copy of your book?
Wytisha: You can pick up a copy of my book He Wouldn’t Let Me Die!: To Not Walk in the Purpose that You Were Given Life for is a Life Not Worth Living
On amazon.com. You can reach me on Facebook Wytisha Williams and also Instagram @WytishaRisingPhoenix.
Reflection 4 Rejection: Surviving My Mothers Abandonment and Abuse