Reflection 4 Rejection: Surviving My Mothers Abandonment and Abuse

Author Interview, Transform your mind podcast

Author Traci Thomas offers, reflection on her, abandonment by her mother in her book, Reflection 4 Rejection. Traci answers the question “Is child, abandonment, rejection by the natural mother?”  If so how does this rejection affect the child’s self worth and self esteem for the rest of their life.

In her book  “Reflection 4 Rejection ” —Surviving A Mother’s Abandonment And Abuse.” Traci Thomas shares her story and how she got to the other side.

Here is Traci’s story:

On, reflection, I feel that, rejection, by your natural mother, it’s such a unique, unusual, weird, inhumane space to be.   It nonetheless served such a  great purpose in my life, and what I mean by that is the following.  It’s one of those preambles whereas once you have survived this type of, rejection, you pretty much can walk on water, and I mean that literally and figuratively.  It’s one of those scenarios and situations very few people ever experience or understand.  When you suffer from, abandonment, you’re in your own community and it’s isolating; but yet you’re so powerful at the same time.

With that being said once you overcome this, abandonment,  and it is a challenge, it’s a lot to muddle through.  However, once you get through it, and you’re on the other side, there’s nothing you can’t do.  So in my situation, it’s like a head of bipartisan.  I had two scenarios, two lives coexisting at one time.  I had a father who had full custody of me at three years old.  That’s when my natural, mother, and my dad were divorced back in 1968.  I was born in 1965, that was unheard of within the United States.  Very few fathers gained custody of their children or their child, so that in itself is a profound statement.  That also shows you how little fight my natural, mother, put up to keep me.

I do remember one particular time my, mother,  did quote, unquote kidnap me.  She did take me when I got off the school bus when I was in kindergarten, and she took me to Philadelphia and thank God my father and the FBI came and rescued me. But even when she’s so-called put forth some effort, to show that she wanted me, it was still a situation where I was locked up in a room, there were German Shepherds downstairs and the FBI had to come and get me.  She never really exemplified that she wanted me; but that’s okay and that’s what I explained in the book.  It’s perfectly okay, because I define what, abandonment, is.  It’s a supernatural definition.  I actually give you, hind sights, definitions, elaborations and explanations as to what’s going on.  What’s happening, why your natural, mother, abandoned, you.  It took me 50 years to figure it out, which is sad, but at least I figured it out.

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What does, Abandonment Issues, Mean?

Wikipedia says that, abandonment issues, causes Abandoned child Syndrome.

  • Abandoned child syndrome is a proposed behavioral or psychological condition that results primarily from the loss of one or both parents or sexual abuse.
  • Abandonment issues, may stem from  physical (the parent is not present in the child’s life) or emotional (the parent withholds affection, nurturing, or stimulation). The abandoned child syndrome is not recognized as a mental illness.
  • Mothers, who leave their children, or when a parent is alienated from their children by the other parent (after a bitter divorce, DCHS, or foster care), can cause psychological damage to the child. This damage is reversible, but only with appropriate assistance.  Abandoned children may also often suffer physical damage from, rejection, malnutrition, starvation, and abuse.

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I want to comment on something you said that’s a little different from my normal association with, abandonment, you said it took you about 50 years to get to the other side and it was very isolating; but once you got to the other side you felt like you could walk on water.  Which is a very positive spin on, abandonment, because if you were to take a survey of the, child abandonment, community you will find that most kids end up having a lot of self-esteem issues, they don’t think they’re good enough.

When you feel, abandoned, it’s not your imagination.  When you make every effort imaginable to connect or contact your natural mother and every single attempt, every single effort, every single expendable energy that you put forth, the end result is just this repellent. It’s this, rejection, of your natural, mother, not wanting you or your natural, mother, treating you as if you’re a bill collector. Your natural, mother, is literally tolerating you and can’t wait to get you off the phone.  When you’re in a scenario like that again and again, it’s so bizarre.

Podcast interview Questions: Reflection, 4, Rejection

What was your Objective in writing “Reflection 4 Rejection ” —Surviving A Mother’s , Abandonment, And Abuse.?

On, reflection, once you’ve been in a situation where you’ve made every effort and did somersaults, headstands, back-flips,  anything you can think of to connect with your natural mother, and every single attempt is unproductive and counterproductive.  It’s toxic, and it’s unhealthy, because of the way that you feel afterwards.  You literally feel as if you’ve been punched in the stomach with every single attempt to get the love of your, mother.

You’re in tears and you’re shaking, and you have anxiety, and then you go through life thinking that you’ve got to kiss every behind in the universe.  You have this feeling of inadequacy this feeling of I’m not good enough, there’s something wrong with me. That’s why I wrote the book, because I do not want another human being going through five decades of what I went through. That’s why I engineered and composed the book.

My objective in writing the book, is for someone to have an open mind and instead of going through life telling themselves, my own, mother, didn’t want me. Even though that is true, instead they can tell themselves that they have every right and privilege to not want her either.

Power is something you take, nobody gives you power.  You snatch power.

So what I wish to do with this work, with this writing,  is to allow an individual to look at being, abandoned,  in hindsight. Let’s  really look at it and put an autopsy and microscope on, abandonment, for a second.  If you really do this it’s not hard at all, you won’t have to go through all these dog and pony shows and tail spins.   Kissing this one’s tail, and doing back flips for this person, and making your, mother,  love you, trying to buy this person,  begging for love, please love me, please like me.  You don’t have to go through all of those mental gymnastics. It’s not necessary. I’m trying to save somebody 50 years.

Reflection 4 Rejection
Reflection 4 Rejection

Abandonment, from Relationships

Can this scenario be also transferred to people who are, rejected,  period?  I mean because, rejection, and being, abandoned,  are not only synonymous with, mothers, or parents.  Men can reject you, your friends can reject you,  jobs can fire you.  Is this information transferable?

I placed a laser focus on this particular relationship between a  child and a natural, mother.  This ironically is not, rejection,  and if you read the book you’ll totally comprehend what I’m speaking about.  The natural, mother, is not rejecting you, the natural, mother, is rejecting the reminder of neglecting you.  The natural, mother, doesn’t even know you.  How can somebody reject you when they don’t even know you?  That makes absolutely no sense.

I’ve seen that the trauma that it is caused in young  lives and almost every aspect of being , abandoned, or, rejection. So it’s kind of good to tell yourself that your natural, mother, didn’t reject you because she doesn’t know you.  If you actually do believe that I can understand that it is easier to get to the other side.  That’s good, I like that spin.

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What is the main message of your book Reflection for Rejection?

I wrote the book to give some insight to, child abandonment.

What message would you give to that listener of why they should go out and buy the book?

It would be in their best interest even if they don’t get the book, if they just listened to the podcast, because it summarizes the book.  It’s their prerogative if they wish to purchase it or not.  I mean that’s their choice; but with that being said.

Don’t ever allow another person, place or thing to define your self-worth.  Don’t do that. Don’t ever give someone that opportunity or luxury.

I know you talked about your natural mother not  really rejecting you because she didn’t know you; but did you touch on psychologically what was happening to her for her to have that unnatural response to her biological daughter?

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast
Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

My father, God bless his soul, was extremely intimidating.  He was a very wealthy, powerful, articulate, worldly man. He traveled a lot because he was a computer programmer, so he was extremely I guess very controlling.  So I give my, mother, an inkling of understanding, because he was pretty much a womanizer.

I’m not giving her a full 24-hour pass, but I am giving her an hour pass.  I can’t really give her a full 24-hour pass, because there are, mothers,  who have gone through the same episode and they didn’t react that way.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
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Are You Angry at your mom for her Abuse and, Abandonment?

  • One of the things that I noticed talking with you Traci is that I see no evidence of PTSD from being, abandoned, by your, mother. Post traumatic stress disorder in teenage girls, usually develops for girls who have been sexually abused, neglected, or abandoned. You said that every time you tried it to communicate with your mom, or tried to make her love you, or tried to form a relationship; you felt like you got punched in the stomach.  At those times were you ever angry?

What’s so interesting is that I got angry at the end.  Like right in the last year. My book goes in chronological order. In the book, I actually highlight the events that have occurred during the last five decades, and what’s so flabbergasting to me is  that I didn’t get angry and livid until the very end.  I wasn’t angry at her, I was angry at me for participating.  I was so livid at myself for wasting so much time, that it took me decades to come down from the humiliation, the frustration,  the hurt, the pain, the disappointment,  the monotony, and the redundancy.

Getting to the other side, puts you in a disposition where you’re at total complete peace. I call it a, mother, transplant because once you realize why she acts the way she does, once that clicks in your brain, a light bulb goes off and you’re free.

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How did you handle Rejection and Reflection?

When you read the book  you’ll completely understand what’s going on and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Your, mother, didn’t reject you, she can’t reject you because she doesn’t know you.

Yes, I understand what you’re saying.  After you become immune to the, rejection, and you get on the other side of, abandonment, when you get to the other side,  you feel empowered like you can walk on water.  Nobody else has the capability of hurting you.

Childhood trauma and, abandonment, affects children  in many ways.

Childhood trauma, #1
1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there’s also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder,
spending or gambling, workaholics etc. There’s 11 addictive behaviors.

Childhood trauma, #2

2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and
yelling at each other? The typical is yelling screaming but
this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like
“you’ll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.

Childhood trauma, #3

3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for
long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let’s say they
came home from school at 3 o’clock and mom if they’re in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours. There’s anxiety around that.
So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we’re out trying to support our
kids there home alone.

Childhood trauma, #4

4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – The rape or Molestation could have happened
in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than
the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools
we’re supposed to teach our child another way. If you’re beating them or hitting them you’re teaching them to be violent back. We don’t want to do that.

Childhood trauma, #5

5. Abandonment – There’s two types, childhood trauma from, abandonment. Fault and No Fault, abandonment.
Here are three examples of no-fault, abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24

Here is an example of “Fault”, abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home
and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new
girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.

Childhood trauma, #6

6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to
live with relatives because mom or dad couldn’t take care of you, that even
includes Grandma’s, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn’t
want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was
always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn’t want to go home.

Childhood trauma, #7

7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not
fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky.
Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.

https://blog.myhelps.us/confidence/

Childhood trauma, #8

8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a
medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time.
Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you
perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful
or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I’m
worthwhile too.

Childhood trauma, #9

9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved
a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years.
Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that’s all
family trauma and community trauma.
Today we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass
Shootings.

https://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/

Childhood trauma, #10

10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities.
We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma.
Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they
act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or
the repercussions.
Two examples of sociopaths are Steve Jobs and Tiger woods.

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Additional Resources 

Uninvolved parenting, sometimes referred to as neglectful parenting, is a style characterized by a lack of responsiveness to a child’s needs. Uninvolved parents make few to no demands of their children and they are often indifferent, dismissive, or even completely neglectful.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-uninvolved-parenting-2794958

Child abuse happens when a parent or care giver of a minor child allows, inflicts or permits physical or sexual abuse or allows a situation where there is a risk of physical injury. Child neglect means a minor child lacks adequate care and is danger of physical or psychological harm.

https://www.divorcesource.com/ds/children/abuse-and-neglect-to-children-in-a-divorce-261.shtml

What are the Symptoms of Adult ADHD?


 

We most often associate, ADHD, with children; but statistics show that 60% of childhood, ADHD, transforms to, adult ADHD.

We as have seen or been parents to the child who never stops or sits down.

In addition to never sitting down they are also:

Symptoms of Childhood, ADHD

  • Are impulsive
  • Have trouble focusing
  • Have trouble managing their emotions
  • Have difficulty remembering information
  • Don’t start tasks (or don’t finish them)

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So how does it feel to be in a relationship with someone with, adult ADHD?  Here is one woman’s story

I dated 4 men with, adult ADHD, or ADD.  One was predominantly hyperactive; two inattentive, one likely mixed. I fall under the vagueness of “mixed” myself, which means I show characteristics of hyperactivity — the impulsiveness, the occasional non-stop talk, the rash decisions — and inattention: the fuzziness, the daydreaming, the drifting off mid-conversation.

I learned the, ADHD, tricks early on like, touching him when I needed his attention and he was working. I learned to move my fingers from his face to mine — the universal signal for eye contact — when he began to drift off.

The two inattentive men,  naturally tended toward household chaos, an inability to finish projects, and a desperate need for legal stimulants.

Understanding is the key to calming the chaos in the relationship.

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I’m curious about, Adult ADHD. Does kids with, ADHD,  become adults with, adult ADHD?

For clarity let’s make sure people understand the acronym for, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Individuals can have, attention deficit disorder, without the hyperactivity and that disorder is ADD.  Things to keep in mind about, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or, Adult ADHD,  is that, yes you can have, ADHD, in  childhood and about 60% of kids grow up still having the same symptoms and become, adult ADHD. One of the interesting pieces about this is that it’s important for folks not to misconstrued information about what they’re seeing the adult exhibit.  Certain characteristics of, Adult ADHD, can mimic other disorders like for example Thyroid disease.

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Does the 40% of kids who don’t have, adult ADHD, become cured?

Not necessarily , they could have developed coping skills to manage the, ADHD, behavior so the symptoms were minimized. They could have also learned strategies on how to behave or how to compensate for the symptoms.

What are the different types of, Adult ADHD?

When you look at the diagnostic and statistical manual that psychologists use.  It gives you  clarity on how, Adult ADHD, is diagnosed.  There are different types 3 types of symptoms that we see in, ADHD.

  1. Inattention
  2. Impulse Control
  3. Hyperactivity

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We have to go through the process and can’t have people diagnosing themselves or their children or anyone else with the disorder. Sometimes you have symptoms because people don’t have appropriate amounts of minerals in their body or they might be subject to low levels of magnesium.  Things like that or people might have other diseases that might mimic, ADHD symptoms, so get these things ruled out with blood work.

ADHD in adults could mean you have an, ADHD, partner.

Here is what happening in their brain. What exactly is happening in the brain to cause someone to develop symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?

 

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

The Adult ADHD brain has impaired activity in four functional regions of the brain.

  • Frontal Cortex. This region controls high-level functions: …
  • Limbic System. This region is located deeper in the brain. …
  • Basal Ganglia. …
  • Reticular Activating System.

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The neurotransmitter in the brain is affected. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for how we organize our cognitive flexibility and being able to control ourselves and things that come into our frame of reference.

The Basal Ganglia helps to regulate communication within the brain, sending signals from one neuron to the other and is responsible for our motor control movement.  The Basal Ganglia is also responsible for regulating emotional volatility and the Reticular Activating System is our major relay system.  It controls the many pathways that enter and leave the brain and is responsible for arousal and consciousness.

ADHD in women
ADHD in women

Dr Gray who is the author of Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus wrote an article in which he claims that men with, Adult ADHD, have problems committing to women because of the disorder. Do you agree with that statement?

No, not at all.  I think there are other reasons that men can’t commit to women. Dr Gray is trying to give these men a pass.  I would love to see his research.

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Does, ADHD, medications cure the disorder?

Medications for, ADHD, are non-stimulant and stimulant meds depending on what the individual the parents would choose. I always think of other Alternatives besides the use of pharmaceuticals.  I would rather use in a non-medication treatment or neuro feedback to help with symptoms of, ADHD. Bio feedback can cure the disorder, medication just masks or controls but never cures.

if you give anyone who clearly has, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, medication for 6 months and the other Bio Feedback for 6 months, you will see the difference in the treatment results.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Does internet pornography rewire men’s brain to have, Adult ADHD?

I came across an article from Dr Gray and he was specifically talking about men who develop, Adult ADHD, because of pornography. He said pornography is re wiring men’s brain and causing them to develop, ADHD.  He said pornography also blocks love and connection with their partner.

https://wellnessforce.com/dr-john-gray-adhd-brain-health-sex-addiction/

Download to listen to the full episode

 

Shocking Facts About ADHD

  • One out of ten American children have been diagnosed with ADHD,
  • One out of seven American women over 55 will develop dementia,
  • Statistics reveal a greater risk of ADHD in children of divorced parents, particularly when boys are missing the regular influence of their fathers or their mothers are unable to find happiness

Additional Resources Adult ADHD

https://blog.myhelps.us/understanding-mental-illness-my-bipolar-life/

How to Disable your Autopilot Brain

Dealing with Anxiety Disorder after Addiction

https://www.verywellmind.com/add-and-attention-deficit-disorders-2161810#:~:text=Attention%20deficit%20disorder%20(ADD)%20is,completing%20tasks%20and%20social%20interaction.

 

Understanding Personalities: Which Archetype Drives You

Your Life Theme and, personalities,  shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes compose your identity.

John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman.  He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill.   That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, personality, controls  our communication.

Personality types
Personality types

 

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are.  That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions.  Decisions like, I know I like this or I don’t like that.

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Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

How does objects that we surround ourselves with express our identity and, Personalities.

John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn’t mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale.  That is how you read people.

Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun.  I want to appease the, personalities,  so when I  walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down.  I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

How does Objects identity our, personality?

Our, personality, as our way of expression.  Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization.  The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.

Myrna: I’m thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I’m thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.

True,  but  I  look at what do you like to do for fun?  What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?”  I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You

Your Life Theme offers the, personality,  framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.

You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or  “Life Themes.”

These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.

These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.

These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.

While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.

They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.

Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.

Personality Myers Briggs
Personality Myers Briggs

The Myers-Briggs, Personality, Type Indicator

An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
  • Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
  • Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
  • Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
  • Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.

According to, Myers-Briggs,  theory of, personality types,  people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:

  • Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
  • Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
  • Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)

The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:

  • Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)

The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.

The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.

The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.

The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.

All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:

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Are you tired of going to bed each night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, only for it to be more of the same?

Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?

Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?

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Oh, and if you struggle with procrastination, go to planning.productivepurpose.com to download your free “Planning for Procrastinators” guide. It’s time to start walking in our purpose, y’all.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personality types, are described here:

  • The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
  • The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
  • The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
  • The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
Personality INEJ
Personality INEJ

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.

What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.

All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:

To download a copy of John Personality test quiz visit www.JohnVoris.com

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Additional Resources, Personalities.

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

The Secret to Living the Life of your Dreams

How to Disable your Autopilot Brain

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_and_Type_B_personality_theory

Authentic Identity Assessment

What Are the 12 Archetypes and Which One Dominates Your Personality

 

8 Secrets to Sexy Total Health

Sexy, total health, is not about how you look on the outside but on the inside. When you become conscious of these secrets, you embody, total health care.

When you become conscious of nature, mental health, presence and spirituality you have, sexy total health.

In this episode of the Transform your Mind radio and podcast, Host Myrna Young, Life Coach, interviews UDO ERASMUS, founder of Udo’s Choice, author of the book Fats and Oils: The Complete Guide to Fats and Oils in Health and Nutrition and Total Sexy Health. Udo shares his 8 secrets to Sexy, Total Health.

Udo: I can remember the fear the anxiety I had as a child growing up during the second world war in Europe,  Sometimes you will hear me say that I was born in hell; and with a lot of help from visible and invisible friends, walked a long crooked path from there to heaven. I became a good reader of adventure stories, to escape hell even in the mind.  

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Are you tired of going to bed each night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, only for it to be more of the same?
Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?
Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then friends, check out the Productive on Purpose podcast. this podcast is for you! Search  Productive on Purpose”on your favorite podcast player to listen today!

Oh, and if you struggle with procrastination, go to planning.productivepurpose.com to download your free “Planning for Procrastinators” guide. It’s time to start walking in our purpose.

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As I grew older, along the way, I tried out many things and learned a lot. Every trade and job, every movement or breath and every step led me to the next turn on the path to find new, different and out-of-the-box possibilities.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean

I discovered that just like you  take time to go to the bathroom,  or time for breakfast everyday, you should take time to create awareness.  Go back inside to the core of your being, to the magnificence of your soul. 

You are not your body, you are the owner of the of your body. 

That is why I created Sexy, Total Health.

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Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

 My question to you is,  how much time do you spend with the owner of your body to create, total health? 

Myrna: Interestingly, I was listening to Dr Deepak Chopra on  Facebook live this morning and he was teaching about communing with nature and  negative ions from plants and trees. I started touching shrubs as I passed them in the park on my morning walk. I am seeking sexy, total health, myself. 

Udo: After searching for purpose for several years, I took a job as a pesticide sprayer and ended up with pesticide poisoning. Trying to cure myself, I started studying oils and fats. Frying your foods in oil  is associated with all kinds of problems including diabetes, inflammatory diseases like arthritis, and also with cardiovascular problems. So I developed a method for making them under protection from oxygen and heat. Oils are the most sensitive and therefore most easily damaged of the essential nutrients. Light, oxygen in the air, and high temperature damage them, and then they damage your body.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Did you get enough of the omega-3 or  Flaxseed oil in your diet? 99% of the population don’t get enough omega-3 needed for, total health care,  

Total health, is more than just using the right oils,  actually everything affects your, total health. For example your politics affect your, total health. if there’s something going on that isn’t  right with the heart or right with, total health care,  then it stresses you out.  

How active you are affect your sexy, total health,  the water you drink affect your, total health,  but we focus mostly on on the interaction with the world. Our kids, our employer, the religious system, or the educational system, or the political system.  Our awareness does not go inside.

sexy total health
Sexy Total Health

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Here are the 8 Secrets of Sexy, Total Health

  1. Digestion – EXCESS CARBOHYDRATES TURN OFF YOUR FAT BURNING GENES. Since excess carbohydrates (eating more of them than your body burns) can cause many health problems, it is only logical, practical and important that your body makes sure that you burn carbohydrates first.
  2. Nutrition – Fats and oils come in two completely contradictory forms. There are fats/oils that heal, and there are fats/oils that kill. The truth is that to make good choices for better health, you have to know which is which, and then choose the fats/oils that heal. More physical health problems come from bad (damaged) oils than from any other part of nutrition. Knowing how to use oils is essential to sexy, total health. 
  3. Mental health – Becoming aware of being aware, you discover both the calm stillness that is awareness’ nature, and everything else that unfolds in that stillness. Real, true, personal peace and mental health has its roots in the core of your existence beyond your senses. With that awareness, you can solve the challenges and conflicts within you and surrounding you. Mental health is essential to, total health.
  4. Presence – Presence underpins your essence and being. Your emptiness is not empty. It’s filled with your undiscovered magnificence and the precursor to sexy, total health.  Don’t get stuck in the words. Words only point at essence; they are not essence. Let them float in the space of your being, and become aware of that space in you.
  5. Consciousness – Consciousness is the field physicists call God.  Consciousness is everywhere. It is omnipresent, in charge of everything going on in the entire universe.
  6. Emotional awareness – Lack of awareness of your internal foundation begins your problems. Awareness of that internal foundation makes practical solutions to your problems available and accessible. Aware and focused in stillness, you find insights and knowledge. Stillness is the only known reliable practice for deepening insights. They are your best source of power, wisdom and manifestation. Live your life focused. Be focused in the present, which contains all that exists. Nothing is more powerful than the present moment.
  7. Natural living – clean water, clean food, clean air and being in nature
  8. Sleep –  is Life Energy it inspires creativity  and necessary for sexy, total health. 

Download your FREE copy of  Total Sexy Health Here:

https://www.totalhealthmembership.com/a/18255/VjRWdLPs

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The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walk-through of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan of going after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.

Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. ..That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

Additional Resources

Using Muse Guided Meditations to Reduce Stress

How to be Happy: The Happiness Formula

How Nutritional Supplements Help you Achieve Optimum Health

https://www.muscleandstrength.com/articles/sexy-health-equals-healthy-sex.html

5 Reasons feeling sexy is important for your health

How to Find your Passion in 2020

Have you found your, passion? Passion, is that burning desire that God placed in your belly at birth.  It is also called your burning bush.

Find your Passion
Find your Passion

In this episode I reference the Final chapter of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of Hope and Encouragement”

I call this chapter “God’s consuming fire your , passion.

 

In this chapter of my book  “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” I tell the stories of Walt Disney, Sylvester Stallone, and J.K Rowling. These are 3 examples of ordinary people who accomplished extraordinary things because they were able to convert their passion, the fire in their belly, into its monetary equivalent. Their passion was like a “burning bush” deep within their souls and they were driven to consummate this burning desire.

Free Download: Out of the Snares, How to Heal your Brokenness
Out of the Snares

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”

— Field Marshal Ferdinand Foch

What is Passion

Passion it is that thing that you were created to do. The thing that makes you feel good when you are doing it, like you transcended your body and entered the heavens. The thing that you would do all day for free.

What was Kobe Bryant burning bush? His Passion

Kobe Bryant was born with a purpose, he got the genes and the physical attributes to be a basketball player but;  he had to engage his, passion. 

Purpose  is what you were placed on the earth to do, it is  your contribution to mankind. The first way to uncover your, passion, is to find out what holds your interest and what you love doing.  God gave you your gift of purpose, and you’re not always passionate about your purpose; but if you can marry it to your, passion, it’s like pouring gasoline on the fire. You have to feed your, passion. That’s what  Kobe Bryant did and that is why he is a Legend. No one out worked him, he wanted to be the best and win championships. 

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Memoirs of a Senators Wife
Memoirs of a Senators Wife

One of the self-evaluation questions I ask my new coaching clients is “If you were the Power-ball winner of $500,000,000. What would you do with your time?” You see, when you take away the need to earn money, then your head becomes clear as to what your passion really is.

In my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” I tell the stories of Walt Disney, Sylvester Stallone, and J.K Rowling. These are 3 examples of ordinary people who accomplished extraordinary things because they were able to convert their passion, the fire in their belly, into its monetary equivalent. Their passion was like a “burning bush” deep within their souls and they were driven to consummate this burning desire.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean

For Walt Disney it was drawing and Art. Walt started drawing as an ambulance driver in the army. Then he became a commercial artist.  After being let go from his company, he decided to start his own graphics company. His company failed from bad management. Walt had a string of failures that included bankruptcy before he found success.  He married Art with imagination and created the happiest place on earth. His passion for drawing birth an empire that has gross revenues today in the billions of dollars.

Walt Disney World is now visited by over 5 million families every year, Annual cash flow from Disney’s consortium of products and films are in excess of 21 billion dollars.  It includes 535 Disney stores, a cable television station, amusement parks in Orlando, California, Paris and more. All because he would not let the fire in his belly die.

So what would you do for free?

How did Sylvester Stallone Find his, Passion?

Sylvester Stallone was born disabled. He suffered injury at birth that left one side of his mouth deformed and caused him to speak funny. Sylvester’s passion was born from being hungry. Like Les Brown would say “You got to be Hungry” Sylvester was broke and hungry. He was walking the street one day, cold and hungry and he decided to go into a library to stay warm. Laying on the table was a book about a fighter who overcame odds to win. That inspired Sylvester Stallone to go write the Rocky story. He wrote that story in one sitting. He did not stop for 20 hours. That inspiration was the gasoline that lit the fire that God put inside him. Again he married passion with imagination and wrote a story that resonated with each and every one of us. The story of Rocky. It made him a millionaire many times over.

“When you set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn.”

— John Wesley

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https://thelogicalindian.com/story-feed/get-inspired/inspirational-success-story-of-sylvester-stallone-rags-to-riches/

Back in the day, Stallone was a struggling actor in every definition. At some point, he got so broke that he stole his wife’s jewelry and sold it. Things got so bad that he even ended up homeless. Yes, he slept at the New York bus station for 3 days. Unable to pay rent or afford food. His lowest point came when he tried to sell his dog at the liquor store to a stranger. He didn’t have money to feed the dog anymore. He sold his dog for $25. He says he walked away crying.

Two weeks later, he saw a boxing match between Mohammed Ali and Chuck Wepner and that match gave him the inspiration to write the script for the famous movie, ROCKY. He wrote the script in 20 hours! He tried to sell it and got an offer for $125,000 for the script. But he had just ONE REQUEST. He wanted to STAR in the movie. He wanted to be the MAIN ACTOR, Rocky himself. But the studio said NO. They wanted a REAL STAR.

They said he “Looked funny and talked funny”. He left with his script. A few weeks later, the studio offered him $250,000 for the script. He refused. They even offered $350,000. He still refused. They wanted his movie, but NOT him. He said NO. He was not selling out, if they did not cast him, they couldn’t buy his script. It worked.  They wanted the script so badly, that they cast his as Rocky and history was made.

What is exactly the, Meaning of, Passion 

Passion,  is that which deeply stirs us or a developmental perspective, so it’s like the essence of our commitment.  Passion is the thing that drives us. You might hear older individuals say they “lost their will to live,” that means they lost their passion, their fuel.   Just like a child requires love to grow, we require passion to continue to grow inside. 

When we selectively share our, passion,  we engage the universe to manifest our, passion. 

It’s like putting gasoline on your fire when you engaged your, passion.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

How did J.K Rowling Find Her, Passion?

J.K Rowling was a single parent, a divorcee and out of work. On a train ride from Manchester to London she got the inspiration to create the Harry Potter story. But she was already a published author. Writing her first book at 6 years old and another at 11 years old. She became an English teacher because her passion was writing. Ms Rowling says

Failure stirs the fire in your belly to do something about your passion.

In 2015  J.K. Rowling’s 2008 Harvard commencement speech was published under the title ‘Very Good Lives: The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination’

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Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

My, passion, is learning, building and imparting. As a Life coach, author and motivational speaker, I am constantly learning, building and imparting into the lives of others.   I could do it all day and I do it for free.

Find your, passion!

“There is no greater thing you can do with your life and your work than follow your passions – in a way that serves the world and you.” Richard Branson

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

 

Dr Tra How can our listeners find their, Passion 2020?

What I encourage people to do is to focus on the positive at all times.  If they remove the negative, those emotional vampires, they will let the light in. Once you move away or walk away or even run away from negativity, you can begin to find your,  passion in 2020. Be passionate about whatever you desire, it doesn’t matter what it is, be passionate about it by surrounding yourself with those people who are similar in Life or those people who have already done it.  I remember people talking about Diana Ross, one of my favorite people. They were so upset with her for continually surrounding herself around for White people, and she told them she surrounds herself with anyone regardless of color who is going in the same direction as she or where she wants to go. 

The common complaint among a lot of people is that they need to, ‘find their passion.’

What is the difference between, Passion, and Emotion?

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Additional Resources How to Find Your Passion

https://blog.myhelps.us/8-find-your-passion-it-is-your-burning-bush/

What are the, Secrets to Success,? Here are my 10 Secrets

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-win-at-the-game-of-life/

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-passion-and-desire

https://www.forbes.com/sites/timothyjmcclimon/2018/11/12/purpose-vs-passion-in-leadership-which-do-you-need-most/

5 Differences Between Finding Your Passion and Finding Your Purpose

Using Muse Guided Meditations to Reduce Stress

Meditation has been proven to make real changes in your brain, like in the  actual structure of your brain. Using Muse, guided meditation helps you focus

Today I am speaking to Ariel Garten, Psychotherapist and founder of Muse Headband for, guided meditations.

Muse Headband comes with, free guided meditations, and help to reduce stress and improve sleep.

This topic that’s near and dear to my heart because I am a meditator.  So I am going to be learning as much from you as our audience on, guided meditations, and using, Muse Headband for meditation.

Ariel,  How did your work in psychotherapy and neuroscience lead you to becoming the founder of Muse?

My story is a really varied one. I was always interested in everything and how the world worked and how we work; so I went to school for neuroscience, so that I could learn more about the brain.  Our brain creates our experiences of life.  The movements of chemicals across our sinapps  create the experience of being happy of feeling connected to one another.  I became trained as a psychotherapist and so in psychotherapy so that I could  work one-on-one with people to help them understand the narratives that play in their minds, these are the stories that are in their head and shapes their existence.  I help them shift those narratives and stories so that they could be more comfortable with the life that they’re living.  I became really fascinated by brain waves.  Brain waves are the electrical energy that comes off your head. It’s real information from your brain.

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I began working with a professor at the University of Toronto and and we began to use an EEG system eg or sensors to detect brain waves to listen to people’s brain activity and create feedback loops.  We could literally make sounds from the energy coming off of people heads. We were actually creating musical experiences as you shifted your brain state from focused to relaxed.

I stood back and started to recognize that we could actually create company around this technology and uses this for human good.   I got together with my co-founders Chris and Trevor, two friends of mine one who’s an amazing electrical engineer the other amazing business person and the three of us set off to bring, Muse Headband for Meditation,  to the world.

In psychotherapy I would be teaching people to meditate as one of the tools to help them,  transform their mind,  but we all know that meditation is incredibly hard to do because most of us can’t quiet our minds. I sucked at meditation.  I teach it to my patients and they would go home and try to do it but their brains would bounce all over the place and they would be frustrated.

muse headband for guided meditation
muse headband for guided meditation

Muse Headband for meditation, gives you real-time feedback on your brain during, guided meditation.

Muse gives you audio feedback.  You’re actually hearing your brain state and it’s helping you guide yourself back into that state of focus when your mind wanders off.

When I meditate, there’s certain times that I can sit there and just concentrate on my breathing, and then the next time I’ve got all these thoughts that are bouncing around.  When you recognize that you’re no longer concentrating on your breathing you bring it back but that could be 30 mins later.

What is, Guided meditation?

Meditation is simply a practice or a training that leads to healthy and positive mind. It’s an exercise that you do regularly that leads to improvements in your mind and your brain.  The most common form of meditation that most people do first is a focused attention meditation. You might hear different forms of meditation and they all have a lot of similarities with their basics and focused attention.

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How does, Guided meditation work?

You focus your attention on your breath or part of your body.  Eventually your mind wanders away from the thing you’re paying attention to or the voice on the, guided meditation, onto a thought or a distraction and it’s your job to notice that your mind has wandered and come back to your breath.  It is incredibly simple.  You’re putting your attention on your breath, your mind wanders you realize your mind is wandered and instead of following your wandering mind you choose to come back to your breath. Your guide from the, guided meditation, would remind you to follow your breathe.

How do you Meditate?

  1. Sit or lie comfortably. You may even want to invest in a meditation chair or cushion.
  2. Close your eyes. …
  3. Make no effort to control the breath; simply breathe naturally.
  4. Focus your attention on the breath and on how the body moves with each inhalation and exhalation.
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What are the benefits of, guided meditation?

Focusing on your breath and returning to your breath is big deal.  When you do this really simple exercise, some pretty profound things happen to your mind and brain. Most of us just kind of go through the world on autopilot.  We just go through the world with a bunch of thoughts in our head and we assume we’re supposed to be thinking them.  We’re thinking about our brother who’s not feeling well or the groceries that we’re supposed to get or with the thing in front of us that we don’t really care about.

What happens is as soon as you engage in , guided meditations, and you put your attention on your breath, your mind wanders into one of those thoughts and you choose to say.  I don’t want to follow this wandering thought, I want to control my mind and put it elsewhere, on my breathe.  All of a sudden you have changed the relationship to your thoughts and that is HUGE.  You’re no longer just subject to the thoughts that are in your head, you can actually have control over them.  You can have dominion over your own mind. Every time you do this you get better and better at saying hey I don’t want to follow that thought, I want to come back to this, guided meditation, and my breathe.

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A lot of the thoughts that we have are negative, frustrating and repetitive so instead of just following these negative, frustrating,  repetitive thoughts and assuming that’s what happens, we can now observe them and say heck NO,  I don’t like that thought.  I don’t want to go there and choose to come back to focused attention and, guided meditation.

The benefits of, guided meditation

There’s literally over a thousand published studies demonstrating the benefits of, guided  meditation, and its impact on your mind your body:

  • Improves your GRE scores,
  • improves your working memory,
  • decrease your stress levels,
  • improves your attention and focus
  • improves your rest and relax response
  • takes you out of the flight or fight response

Deepak Chopra introduced me to, guided meditation,  maybe 10 – 15 years ago.  I have been a meditator for a while and there is a significant difference in everything about me because of meditation. One benefit is that I am able to relieve pain by breathing into the area.

There’s a ton of studies that demonstrate, guided meditation,  potential to improve pain.

One study shows a novice meditator or a short-term learning meditation can reduce their pain by 50%, expert meditators have been shown to be able to reduce their pain levels by 90%.

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Muse Headband for meditation,  has agency G and heart rate sensors inside of it that track your brain during your meditation.  The same way that a heart rate monitor will track your heart while you’re at the gym and let you know when you’re in the fat-burning zone.

Muse Headband for meditation, tracks your brain during, guided meditation, to let you know when you’re in focused attention. When your mind is wandering, it actually lets you hear the sound of your mind.  It lets you know when you’re focused and it warns you when your mind has wandered off and then guides you back into that state of focused attention.  Muse Headband for meditation, use really beautiful audio cues that you hear through your phone, in the same way a Fitbit connects with your phone.

What happens to our brain during, Guided Meditation?

Meditation has been proven to make real changes in your brain, like in the  actual structure of your brain.  It’s quite amazing.  There’s an amazing study from Dr. Sarah Lazar she’s a researcher at Harvard and she’s shown that meditation that can increase the thickness of your prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is the area of your brain right under your forehead and it’s the part of your brain that’s responsible for planning, organization and higher-order thinking.  It’s the thing that like separate us from other animals.  As Humans we have really developed prefrontal cortex.  As we age our prefrontal cortex actually becomes thinner;  but Dr Lazar was able to show that people with a long term, guided meditation, practices were able to maintain the thickness of their prefrontal cortex even as they aged.  So quite amazing, guided meditation, actually was able to reverse the aging process by maintaining our prefrontal cortex.

Through the, guided meditation, process it actually strengthens the ability of your prefrontal cortex to now regulate your amygdala.  It’s like your prefrontal cortex is the parent and the amygdala is the little three-year-old having a temper tantrum.

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Can our Set point for Happiness be changed by, guided meditations to reduce stress?

Our set point is our capacity for happiness,  and apparently it is set very early in life from our parents or our caretakers.  Deepak Chopra says that, guided meditation,  can move that set point so your capacity for happiness increases. I thought this statement was interesting enough for us to include it in our conversation today, so can you touch on the neuroscience behind this statement.

During, guided  meditation,  you begin to recognize that you can have control over your thoughts.  Typically the next thing that happens is you recognize that you are not your thoughts, and if you are not your thoughts you are also not all of the stories about yourself that your thoughts have been telling you about you. At some point with meditators there’s this unbelievable shift where you realize that like you know the things that you learned about yourself in the grade 3 school yard when you were being picked on are not true. So you let go of that perspective in the same way you let go those negative thoughts and that is unbelievably liberating. So your capacity for happiness or set point shifts.

 

Additional Resources for, Guided Meditations

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-reprogram-your-unconscious-mind/

https://blog.myhelps.us/the-top-7-reasons-meditation-can-help-your-business-increase-revenues/

How to be Happy: The Happiness Formula

https://www.headspace.com/meditation/sleep

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-in-world/201304/how-reset-your-happiness-set-point

 

How to be Happy: The Happiness Formula

Are you Happy? Today Dr Ahia, Psychologist and I discuss, How to be Happy. Their is a mathematical formula for, happiness. H=S +C + V

The, happiness formula, is a mathematical equation on, how to be happy.

  • What does it take to be happy?
  • To answer that question you have to understand your blueprint for, happiness.
  • Your blueprint is the story you have in your head about how life is supposed to be.
  • The most popular archetype is the blueprint that says you have to be successful to find, happiness.
Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Here is a Test to see your Capacity for, Happiness:

  • What is an area in your life that you feel happy about?
  • Then ask yourself, why are you happy with that area?
  • You could find, happiness,  in your body, your marriage, your career, your friends, your finances, your kids, your relationship with God etc.
  • If your Life Conditions or LC match your blueprint for, happiness, you will find, happiness,  in this area.

 

Let’s pick an easy one to see, how to be happy, I am sure you know people who are happy with being overweight.

They find, happiness, with their body because their blueprint says,  Big is Beautiful.   They love being Big.  You may also know someone who is a twig and they feel fat. You become unhappy with your body when you step on the scale and it is different than your blueprint for, happiness, with your weight or body.

  • While you are in this space you can also get clarity on why you are Unhappy with some areas of your life.
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The Happiness Formula, How to be Happy

  • Happiness, is defined as a feeling of contentment, that life is as it should be. Perfect, happiness, comes when you have all your needs met according to your blueprint of what life should be.

 

  • Here is the formula for, Happiness

  • H=S +C + V
  • Happiness is “H”
  • S – Set point or genetic capacity for happiness
  • C- Conditions or circumstances of living
  • V – Voluntary choices

 

  • Your Set point or core belief is both genetic and environmental. Do you see life as an opportunity or do you see life as a problem?
  • Your set point for, happiness, is determined in the first 3 years of life by parents or caretakers. Your neurons mirror your parents. If your parents were always criticizing each other or playing the victim; that’s what you grow up to be. A critical person always seeing the glass as half empty instead of half full. You feel victimized by life. You blame the system for your lack of, happiness, in life. You feel you were born on the other side of the tracks.
  • On the other hand If your parents were happy, then you grew up thinking that life is a place for service and to look for the silver lining under every cloud. Never being the victim because victims have no power. Your set point on, how to be happy, if pretty high.
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Can you find, Happiness?

  • Your set point represents 50% of your, happiness, so if you have a negative set point, you are always fighting an uphill battle.
  • Fortunately, your set point for, happiness, can be changed  through therapy?
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The second factor in the, Happiness Formula is your capacity for happiness or your Life Conditions “C”

  • C = Conditions of living – conditions of living represents 10 -12% of your, happiness. For example If you are extremely poor you can’t be happy because your basic needs are not being met and your poverty becomes a source of stress.
  • There is a movie I saw years ago called the, Happiness, movie. It showcased people in India living in very poor conditions, earning something like $100 per year and they found, happiness.
  • How to be happy,  they had love, they had family and since poverty is what they knew from birth, their blueprint for, happiness,  was different than someone born into wealth.
  • Do you know poor people who are happy? I am sure you do.
  • When your Life conditions don’t match your blueprint that is when you suffer. Stress, depression, substance abuse this is the doorway they enter from. Not always but most times.

 

  • The next leg on, How to be Happy,  is “V”

  • V = Voluntary Choices. These are the choices you make every day =these choices represent 40% of your, happiness.
  • If your choices are all about personal pleasure then your, happiness, will be transient.
  • In the US the #1 choice for personal pleasure is shopping
  • #2 is alcohol and  food
  • # 3 sex
  • When you make choices for personal pleasure your, happiness, lasts a few days or a few months at best. If you are trying to find, happiness, by acquiring things like cars, clothes, houses, jewelry.  The, happiness, lasts a few weeks or at best 6 months then it is no longer a source of joy.
  • This is the same for alcohol, food, drugs, sex.
  • Lasting, Happiness, does not come from external sources.
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  • If you are suffering in your marriage, your relationships, or anything other than your health, you can change your blueprint and find, happiness. If you feel you have no control to change your Life conditions, that is when there is pain.
  • You can change your set point through meditation and expanding your consciousness.
  • If you don’t like your conditions of living or your body, change it. It is in your control. If you don’t want to change your conditions then you must change your blueprint.
  • When I first got married my husband and I fought constantly. We had different blueprints of what marriage was supposed to be. We are still together today because we both changed our blueprints. Most couples end up in divorce court because they refuse to change their blueprint of what it take to find, happiness, in a marriage or after a divorce. 
  • Instead of making the choice of personal pleasure, spend your money or time on experiences like vacations, adventure, entertainment, being social with friends etc. Creating Good memories make you happy.
  • The fastest way to, happiness, is to give others attention, appreciation, acknowledgment, affection, or acceptance.
  • Before you make choices, ask yourself would this choice make me happy? Will it make others happy? You cannot find, happiness, making others unhappy.
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Additional Resources The Happiness Formula

How to Heal Your Brokenness

Understanding How to Use Reiki Energy for Mind and Body

The Secret to Living the Life of your Dreams

https://www.pursuit-of-happiness.org/science-of-happiness/

 

 

What is the Connection between Sexual Abuse and Addiction?

child sexual abuse
Child Abuse, and, sexual abuse,  Statistics, show a connection between, child abuse, Mental Health, addiction, and depression.
In her book “Call me an addict, war on Women” By Dr Tra Ahia. shares Kreta’s story of, child abuse, and sexual abuse, that started with her biological mother. I think this is very rare. Kreta said her mother was a sick person. Her, child abuse, was by her mother. Her mother used to make her kids do sexual acts on her boyfriend and her. Her mother and boyfriend also had sex in front of her and her brothers and sisters. This, abuse, started when she was about 4 years old.
Listen to the full interview here:

Kreta’s story of, sexual abuse

Kreta was raped by an older boy around the age of 7.

Kreta’s, child abuse, started when she was only 8 or 9 years old when she started smoking weed, crack and sniffing blow. As she got older when she didn’t have money she would perform sexual acts for coke.

Even though she was a good student in school she started ditching school to sleep with older men and eventually dropped out of school.

She started working for a pimp who continued her, sexual abuse, he beat her all the time and had other men rape her and pie on her. After a string of, sexually abusive, relationships She got pregnant several times while still doing drugs. She had two abortions; but decided to keep her third pregnancy – a baby girl.

She went in and out of rehab several times trying to stay clean but always relapsed.

Kreta’s story ended the saddest of all 3 stories from the book “Call me an Addict, war  Her, strange addiction, was out of control. She got so high one night that she stabbed her baby to death. She got life in prison.

Kreta’s has so many of the, Child Abuse, Statistics, in her story

  • Risk for intimate partner violence
  • Alcoholism and alcohol abuse
  • Illicit drug abuse
  • Smoking & drinking at an early age
  • Depression
  • Suicide attempts

I want to say that Kreta’s mother surprised me; but I have heard, sexual abuse,  stories like this one before. I had a coaching client who told me that her mother stopped having sex with her husband and when she was 4 years old gave her to her husband to have sex with. Tyler Perry tried to bring attention to this, child abuse, and, sexual abuse,  in his movie Madea Family Reunion .

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3) Parents set your own exchange rate. Eg  1 point may be equal to 1$. Having collected a certain amount of points, the children may ask their parents for their “salary” for their work!

Why this AP useful for PARENTS: Because it will help to give Kids a sense of responsibility and prepare them for the things they need to do when they become older.

Why this AP is useful for CHILDREN: Children will be rewarded when they help out with chores around the house! They will have the opportunity to get a “salary” or pocket money in exchange for working on their tasks.

Parents, this AP will teach your children responsibility and reward them in the process.  To download this AP head over to Google Aps

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
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Here are 5, Statistics, about, sexual abuse, offenders

  1. Ages 12 to 14 are the peak ages for child offenders.
  2. 70 percent of perpetrators have between 1 and 9 victims.
  3. Child abuse,  statistics, show as many as 40 percent of children who are, sexually abused,  are abused by older or more powerful children.
  4. Sex offenses are the crimes least likely to involve strangers as perpetrators. Although a smaller percentage of, sex offenders, are women, the majority are male. Sex offenders, are generally NOT “dirty old men” or strangers lurking in alleys. They are typically not obviously mentally ill or retarded. In fact, sex offenders, are usually well known and trusted by the children they victimize, and frequently are members of the family, including fathers and stepfathers, brothers, aunts and uncles, grandparents, and cousins. There is no clear cut description or profile of a, sex offender. Thus there is no way to recognize a potential, sex offender, and  abuser; and it’s often hard to believe that a trusted individual would be capable of abusing children.
  5. Children who disclose their abuse within one month are at a reduced risk for, depression, or substance abuse and, addiction. Believe your kids when they talk to you and LISTEN. 

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Why, Addiction, and, Depression, are by products of, Child Abuse

Although any type of, addiction, can trigger violence, those most likely to impair judgment, like drug and alcohol, addiction, are most often linked to addiction-related violence. Drug and alcohol use can weaken self-control, it’s not uncommon to see people who are under the influence engaging in behavior they usually wouldn’t if they were sober.

People living with, strange addictions, who commit violent crimes, is usually as a result of intoxication or as a means of obtaining money to finance their habits. According to an article published in Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment, more than 75 percent of people who seek treatment for, drug addiction,  report having performed acts of violence, including mugging, physical assault and using a weapon to attack another person.

People who suppress negative feelings like anger or, depression, are more likely to drink or use, drugs, to the point of intoxication and exhibit violent behaviors. If you have Pent-up rage and you are using drugs, you are more likely to act violently because loss of self-control can increase your chances to act on your anger.

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Dr Tra Ahia How does CBT help a, sexual abuse, survivor to love themselves? What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

Evidence is growing that cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is an effective treatment for, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, including those who have experienced physical, child abuse, and other traumatic events.

Most of the studies that have evaluated Trauma focused-CBT have been well designed. This treatment model represents a synthesis of trauma-sensitive interventions and well-established CBT principles  treatment-outcome studies for, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, and otherwise traumatized children. The therapy was developed to resolve post traumatic stress disorder, and, depression, and anxiety symptoms, as well as to address underlying distortions about self-blame, safety, the trustworthiness of others, and the world. The treatment also fits, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, and other traumatic experiences into a broader context of children’s lives so that their primary identity is not that of a victim.

Child abuse,  statistics, show that CBT therapy allows, sexual abuse, victims to learn self love.

Drug and Alcohol Treatment for Women with Trauma

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Arifah What does, Child abuse, statistics, show about self love?

It shows that if, child abuse, and sexual abuse, victims do the following, They begin to heal.

  • Take your time
  • Recognize that your needs matter
  • Forgive yourself and knowledge of self through therapy
  • Find a support group
  • Learn to practice self-compassion, to rid yourself of shame-based beliefs, such as you are worthless, defective, bad, or unlovable
  • Find time for self care activities (journaling, exercise, mediation, art, hanging out with people that care about you).
  • Gain new experiences (i.e. get involved in the community)
Call me an Addict
Call me an Addict

 

Dr Tra I am curious after listening to 100 stories like the ones you told in your book and from all the data you have collected over your 30 years in this space.  Why do you think fathers and stepfathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, and cousins, abuse, little girls?

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I want to comment on one of the, child abuse,  statistics,   the one that says 70% of perpetrators have between 1 to 9 victims.  I remember my,  sexual abuse, It was from a man  who I called grandfather, even though he was no relation.  He used to tell me to bring my friends, and he would do the same thing to them as he did me. In fact he had a reputation of liking little girls.  I never told anyone!

That’s another thing, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, statistics, show,  victims never tell.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Here are 5 tips for loving yourself after, child abuse, and, sexual abuse, 

  1. Read Positive affirmations
  2. Heal the mind through the body (ie. Boxing, Running, Martial Arts)
  3. Mindful breathing exercises and meditation (stop, breathe and think app)
  4. Channel your pain into creativity ( i.e.journaling)
  5. Ask for help when you need it

 Conclusion, Child Abuse, and, Sexual Abuse 

Dr Tra, Do you support the, child abuse statistic,  that says that if kids who are experiencing trauma of any kind tells someone who offers support, it has a direct and positive effect on the, sexual abuse and addiction connection?

Totally, when you tell someone what is being done to you, you release the shame of thinking you are to blame. You will also get help to cope with the emotions.  When you stay silent it eats away at you all your life and then you self medicate with, drugs,  and alcohol and your, sexual abuse, continues into your adult relationships.

Additional Resources on,  Child Abuse and Sexual Abuse

Drug and Alcohol Treatment for Women with Trauma

https://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/

https://blog.myhelps.us/10-ways-childhood-trauma-impact-adults-in-love/

https://www.masterproblems.com/2017/02/what-can-be-done-about-child-abuse.html

When Your Child Can’t Speak

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/subabuse_childmal.pdf

 

 

How to Stop Self Sabotaging Behavior

self sabotaging behaviors

Self sabotaging behaviors, move us in the opposite direction from our goals. When we understand the patterns that underlie, self sabotage, we begin to free ourselves.

 

We then begin to allow ourselves to interact with ourselves and the world with greater success, joy, and fulfillment. The process of breaking through denial, facing your fear, anger, and other difficult emotions, and making peace with your pain, leads to an ending of the internal war with yourself.

You can step fully into the greatest expression of yourself. Finding the wisdom inside the wounds you’ve endured is one of the most important conversations you’ll ever have with yourself about, self sabotage, because on the other side of it is the emotional freedom and depth of joy that you were born to have.

Introduction to, Self Sabotaging Behaviors

In this interview Sabrina Johnson, inspirational Speaker and Author,  talks on how she overcame different aspects of, self sabotaging behaviors, because of her lack of self confidence and negative self talk. Overcoming, Self Sabotage, and taking Inventory of your failures is one way to stop, self defeating behavior.

Whatever form it takes – whether, self sabotaging behaviors, or limiting thought patterns; self sabotage,  always diminishes the passion and energy we need to fulfill our dreams. At the heart of the matter, it is possible to create as much love, fulfillment, success and joy as we feel worthy of having. By identifying how your inner saboteur is, self sabotaging,  your life, you can make radical progress toward that which you want.

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Overcoming, Self Defeating,  behavior by changing your Mindset

Mindsets are beliefs – beliefs about yourself and your most basic qualities.

Think about your intelligence, your talents, your personality. Are these qualities simply fixed traits, carved in stone or can you cultivate and grow these traits?

Your intelligence is not a fixed quantity which cannot be increased. With practice, training, and above all method, we can increase our attention, our memory, our judgment and become more intelligent than we were before.

In a, Fixed Mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits thus the, self defeating, behavior

In a Growth Mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.

The, Fixed Mindset, is a, Defeated Mindset

The, fixed mindset, creates an internal dialogue that is focused on judging. e.g

  • “I am a loser”
  • “I am the giver in this relationship and I get nothing in return”
  • “I am a no good husband”
  • “My partner is selfish only thinks about himself”

People with a, growth mindset,  are sensitive to positive and negative information; but they’re attuned to its implications for learning and growing. They ask themselves “What can I learn from this” How can I improve “How can I help my partner do better.

Self sabotage
Self sabotage

How to Overcome, Self Sabotage, at Work

I have always been someone who spent years trying to move my life forward I always say that I am a dreamer;  but the problem was I made decisions and choices in my life that counteracted that data.  I told myself I wanted to move forward; but everything that I did was, self sabotage, my behavior caused me to move backwards.

If I stopped and did an honest self-assessment and really seek God for direction on what am I needed to do. I would figure out  why  I was  seemingly repeating the same, self sabotaging, cycles in my life.  It was at that point that I began to really recognize certain, defeated mindsets, or negative truth about myself that I held  about myself subconsciously that was preventing me from moving forward and continuing these, self defeating behaviors.

For instance I’ll give you an example. I am very career-driven, so I desire to move up the career ladder.  I have a master’s degree in marketing;  but whenever I went to apply for a director level or VP level positions, I get intimidated and, self sabotage, by talking myself out of applying for that position. I would apply and start working at a lower position and then the next couple of months I’m miserable.

Inevitably my employer would see in me what I couldn’t see in myself and they would give me more responsibility. Then I would complain about being overworked and underpaid.  My, defeated mindset, would make me, self sabotage, and take a lower position than I was qualified for.  Then I would leave these jobs because it wasn’t what I wanted and then the cycle would begin all over again at another company.

I had to say OK God I need your help.  Give me the courage to jump in even though I felt fear.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

What is a, Defeated Mindset

Myrna: Let me not skip over this huge opportunity to ask you Sabrina. Since you’ve done whole bunch of self-assessments,  why did you have a, defeated mindset, and, self sabotage,  yourself all those years?  Why did you not have confidence in your abilities?

Sabrina: That is a great question Myrna,  and that was something I had to really pinpoint.  I was listening to a speaker and he said when you lack self-confidence, somewhere along the line in your life someone fed into your mind that you were not good enough. That you were not worthy enough.  I started looking back on past unhealthy relationships and past hurts and start to really connect the guys who rejected me.  Hurts from past relationships.

I had to rely on my faith and ask God for guidance. Outside of that I read a lot of self-help books and articles on how to overcome a, defeated mindset,  how to build your confidence and how to speak with confidence;  but a lot of it, the core of it really has to go back to the words that I was speaking to myself.  So when I started to get intimidated by the Job description, I would remind myself that I have done this job in the past.  You’re not going to take a different role in the company then do this job and not get paid for it. I started being my own cheerleader.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Here are 4 steps to Overcome, Self Sabotage 

  1. Become aware of your emotions. Your emotions are the language of your body.
  2. Change your emotions by thinking of want you want. Eg. You have applied for a promotion 2 times now and you keep being passed over. A, defeated mindset, says I am never going to get this job I had better get used to this and begin to, self sabotage, Instead imagine yourself in this new position. Feel in your body how it would feel to sit at that desk with your name on the door.
  3. Your emotions will change and so will your body. It believes it is living in the future now.
  4. That’s the way to get over, self sabotaging behavior. Change your brain to change your life.
Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

 Additional Resources on Overcoming, Self Sabotage, 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-self-destructive-behavior/201512/understanding-self-destructive-dysregulated-behaviors

https://lonerwolf.com/self-destructive-person/

A Guide to Changing Self-Destructive Behaviors

 

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-does-emotional-intelligence-affect-your-success/

How to Raise your Self-esteem by Erasing Self Doubt

https://blog.myhelps.us/5-mindset-transformations-permanent-relationships/

How to Transform your Career with Purpose

Ways to find your Purpose

For some people their, career, is closely interwoven with their, life purpose. Keshia Morris, is that person, Political Activist and Project Manager with Common Cause.

In this interview on the Transform your Mind radio hour and podcast, Life Coach and Mom Myrna Morris Young, trace the story of, Keshia Morris, as an undocumented alien, to her starting her career as a Psychologist, to getting a tug from God to transform her, career with purpose, to help with our democracy.

Listen to full interview here:

 

Introduction to a Career with Purpose

Keshia Morris is  the project manager for the, Census 2020, with Common Cause and is getting a lot of media attention because of the Trump’s administration efforts to add the question “Are you a Citizen” to the, Census 2020.

Keshia Morris, talks about the importance of the Census, the reason the Trump administration was trying to add this question and, Common Cause, fight for a fair democracy.

The media attention started when, Keshia Morris,   wrote an amazing article that was published in the Miami Herald that highlighted her, career, with purpose.  In this article she talked about our personal journey to becoming permanent residents in the United States and why the question on the Census asking “Are you a Citizen?” would have a negative affect on our democracy.

After that article was published, several podcasts and radio personalities wanted to interview her.

Before we could get to what God has done in Keshia’s life as far as her chosen, career, with purpose.  She chose me to be her mother. I knew from the moment she was conceived that she was born to do great things. She was conceived on my honeymoon and was born 9 months later on my 30th birthday. So even without being conscious I knew that she was born with a, life purpose.

Again without being yet conscious; but understanding the principle of generational increase,  I started my journey to becoming an American Citizen.  I believed that there were more opportunities for my children here in the USA.

Both my children are Canadian,  and maybe my  assumption was incorrect, but our perceptions become our reality.

Keshia Morris,  went through high school as an, undocumented alien. The beauty of this country is that children didn’t require papers to go to public school until higher education. Without a vision, I could have sent her back to Canada to go to college; but that was not even a consideration. I paid out of state fees for  her first 2 years of college. I could only afford one class; but she was in College.

I got married again in 2006 and my husband sponsored both of us, and we became  permanent residents or documented immigrants.

Keshia received her BA  and started out on her intended career as a  Psychologist.

How Keshia’s Became On Purpose, career coaching

One day while listening to the audio book “A long walk to Freedom,” by Nelson Mandela, she had what is called a Damascus experience. Everything that was before was no more. So this is where I want to pick up the story.

Setting Goals and purpose for your career?

I want to start off by saying that you tell my story so much better than I do. Just laying out for our listeners how I got to the moment where I decided I wanted to do something new with my career.  I had always thought that I that I was going to be a psychologist.  As a child people kept telling me that oh you know you’re great at giving people advice, so I thought  I might as well make a career out of this and try to achieve the American dream.

Psychologists make a lot of money.  I started getting into listening to audio books in my car and as I listening to Nelson Mandela’s  “A long walk to freedom”  I would say in the very first few chapters of the book,  I feel like it changed me and changed my trajectory of my life almost immediately.  It was also the time of the sequester where the government was shut down.  I interpreted this as wealthy special interests groups were getting in the way of  government and our lawmakers not being able to do their jobs.   I didn’t feel like this was right,  so I felt an extreme tug to try to do something about it.

I had already invested over 4 years as a Psychology major and started with my masters degree credits which were not inexpensive.  I had already amassed about $30,000 in student loans before  listening to Nelson Mandela’s book.  I felt an immense tug from God that becoming a political activist was my, career purpose, I wanted to help change the democracy the United States of America.

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How to look for signs that your, career, is on  Purpose

Question #2: How did you know that this was God. What were the signs?

I knew it was God because it changed the trajectory of my life in seconds.  I was now a new woman and had a firm grasp on what my, career, should be.

Things lined up for you. I was a new Life Coach at the time and you requested a coaching session. I remember it,  like it was yesterday. Because what I said out loud was not what I was thinking. I told you to go for it. To make a plan and pursue this goal.

  • You applied to schools and got into your number 1 choice, American University,
  • Before graduation you got an internship at your number 1 choice for employment, Common Cause,
  • You received a job offer with, Common Cause, immediately after graduation. So we know that you were on, career purpose, because God opened doors.

Why family support and career coaching is so important to your career

Question # 3: What advice would you give our listeners who face obstacles. No family support, not accepted to schools, kids at home etc.

I would tell them to believe in the vision that you can have it all.  Believe in yourself, believe in God and believe in their, career purpose,

Keshia Morris, you are getting National attention now as the Project Manager for  the 2020 Census at Common Cause. The Trump administration has been very unfriendly towards immigrants and, undocumented aliens, and intended to use the question “Are you a Citizen?” on the, Census 2020, to instill fear to the non-Citizens,  so as to set up, Gerrymandering.  Common Cause fought for this question to be removed from the Census and won.

Question # 4 Please explain the importance of having this question removed from the, Census 2020, and what exactly the Census does for our democracy.

Gerrymandering is  manipulating districts to give one party advantage over the other.  We have definitely seen a lot of gerrymandering being done by Republicans;  but we do absolutely know that Democrats do it as well.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

What is the Census 2020?

The Constitution mandates that a Census or accounts of all people that live within these United States be counted for apportionment purposes every ten years.  So every ten years the Census Bureau takes counts of everyone that lives here.  That is including illegal aliens, that is including children and newborns.  Everyone should get counted.

What this count does for our democracy is it apportioned the amount of seats in Congress.

There are 435 seats and the House of Representatives and those 435 seats are distributed based on population size.  Right now about each congressional district has about 700,000 people.

In a State like Florida, for example that has a population of maybe six to nine million people, but say only eight million people were counted in the, 2020 census, that means that Florida would get less congressional representation than it actually truly deserves because one million people were not counted.

The Trump administration wanted to add this last minute question “Are you a Citizen”  to the, Census 2020, I say last minute because usually each question is tested and vetted thoroughly for about three years before a question can be added to the census. It has to go through Congress and an approval processes.  The Trump administration came in and decided they were not gonna do any of that, and just announced that they were going to add this question to the,  Census 2020,

Census Bureau researchers have found that if this question were to be added to the,  Census 2020, about 6.5 million people would not answer the census form and thus insure a fair census.  So advocates like, Common Cause, but really across the board, millions of people stood up and said that this is wrong.  Common Cause, took the case all the way to the Supreme Court and the Supreme Court sided with us.  They said that the Trump administration cannot add this question to the, Census 2020, they called the reason the Trump administration gave to add this question, contrived.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Myrna: I heard you say in one of your interviews that the data that comes from the, Census 2020, is confidential and  it’s illegal for anybody to use this information for harm to the people. I know you said that if this question was on the, Census 2020, 6.5 million people would not have answered because they might be afraid that someone will come to their door.  But what you said is that information is never presented in such a way that somebody can know who filled out the form, and if they were going to actually use information from the data, they will use the information as a collective.

I am curious as to why research shows that 6.5 million people WOULD NOT  have responded to the, Census 2020, if the question “Are you a Citizen” was on the form?

Keshia Morris: My answer to that question is twofold.

The law states that your responses on the census cannot be used to cause harm to any person.   That means that it can’t be sent to ICE to enforce immigration law.  It can’t even be sent to your landlord if you have too many people living in in your household.  However, what the Trump administration wanted to do, was to create fear.  That information isn’t always communicated correctly and even if it was, people don’t trust that the Trump administration would follow the law.

So it’s better just not to have the question on the, Census 2020, whatsoever.

The Trump administration has given up on their efforts to add the question “Are you a Citizen” on Census 2020, but they are now trying another way to get this information. President Trump has now issued an executive order to get administrative data to be collected for the purpose of redistricting.  Common Cause, is fighting for this not to be the case, and it  absolutely will be challenged through litigation.

Facts about the, Census 2020,

Section 2 of the Constitution requires a count every 10 years of every person residing in the United States—citizens and non-citizens, newborns and seniors, documented and undocumented, homeowners, renters, and the homeless. The, 2020 Census, will be in full swing during the Winter, Spring and Summer of 2020.

Counting hundreds of millions of people is an immense undertaking, and it’s critical for state legislators to start preparing now. Census data determine the allocation of more than $800 billion in annual federal funding and are often used in state and local policy-making, decision- making, and research. An inaccurate census in 2020 would jeopardize state funds for over 300 federal programs and compromise crucial supports for marginalized communities. 

Census data are also used for the reapportionment and redistricting processes and therefore vital to advancing a fair and representative democracy. Ensuring that all residents in your state are counted will require funding, coordination, and commitment from policymakers but will provide your constituents the resources and representation they deserve.

Research shows that if the question “Are you a Citizen” was on the, Census 2020, 6.5 million people would not fill in the Census thereby states would be unrepresented by millions in congress.

Myrna: From listening to all your numerous interviews I will list them. I have learned that the Census data is confidential and it is illegal for anyone to use that data to target aliens.

Unrig the System Podcast with Alex Wardlaw

Podcast Episode for Bipartisan Solutions for Ending the Prison-Industrial Complex Once and For All

Carry On Friends The Caribbean American Podcast

The Real New Network

Myrna: I have had a front row seat to your growth from a Psychology major into a political activist. I have watched you take the mike and rally a crowd. I have listened you spout very technical data about the history of our democracy with names and dates of legal documents.  As your mother, I am impressed by your transformation.

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-lifted-by-your-purpose/

How to Master career strengths

Question # 6: Take us through how you released your fear of public speaking. What did you do to get yourself from this abstract fear of speaking and communicating to what you do now?

I am still working on being an effective communicator and working past my fear.  My fear has lessened a bit,  there was a time where I mean I couldn’t get in front of people and I couldn’t say two words without my voice shaking, without saying um a hundred times, without looking completely lost. So yeah  I definitely think that I have I’ve experienced some growth and really all I can say, well the main thing I can say that got me around the corner is practice.

There’s that Malcolm Gladwell books that says you need like 10,000 hours of practicing something to be an Expert.  You just named a bunch of the interviews that I’ve done; but you know each of those interviews requests, I started off by saying NO.  because the fear is still there.  But I able to overcome the fear by resting in the fact that this is for a, life purpose, and  I am working towards the goal of having this democracy be the best that it can be.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

How to Transform your, Career, with  purpose

As we wrap up our show today, I want to leave you with these thoughts.

There is a difference between living an active life and a, purpose driven life. We all lead active lives. To be active does not mean we even have to physically do anything. We could be mentally active and be making plans and, setting goals,  etc. but not going anywhere. But when we are living a, purpose driven life, our energy and activities has a, life purpose, and meaning. Pause to reflect the purpose of your chosen, career. What is the meaning of your, career, purpose.  What is the quality of the energy you are expending. When you have a, career,  of purpose, the more energy you expend, the more renewed you are. On the other hand, when you are not on, life purpose, the energy you expend is not renewed, instead you end your day depleted and diminished.

A, purpose driven life, and, purpose driven career, alters the course of history.  I hope you all find yours.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Keshia Morris, one final question What do you want your contribution to be to God’s Kingdom?

To make this country’s democracy the best it can be, that is my, career purpose,

How can any of our listeners get in contact with common cause to support the organization, volunteer for the census or reach you for speaking engagements or interviews?

Listeners and readers can reach me at

Keshia Morris
Census & Mass Incarceration Project Manager
Common Cause
805 Fifteenth St, NW, Suite 800
Washington, DC 20005
(o) 202.736.5774 |

 Additional Resources for, Career Purpose, and Census 2020

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-lifted-by-your-purpose/

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-a-diamond-by-finding-your-purpose/

https://blog.myhelps.us/program-positive-change/

Today’s Ruling on the Census Citizenship Question Still Leaves Room for Worry

 

Ep. 116 – The Census: All the Facts & Why It is Important