Tag Archives: present moment

How To Use Buddhism to Help With Trauma

December 5, 2022 Myrna Young

We all have, generational trauma, and suppressing, trauma, and being oblivious and a lot of time, depending on when, trauma, occurs. It can affect how much we remember. Where is my mind? It follows me wherever I go. Buddhism, is about understanding how the, mind, works.

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Bio

Melissa Moore PhD has dedicated her adult life to teaching the tenets of Buddhism and Contemplative Psychology, helping students better manage their emotions, explore the notion of intrinsic health, and understand their interconnected, non-dual nature.

Melissa's latest book, The Diamonds Within Us, brings modern context to ancient Tibetan Buddhist teachings. The lessons within this book aim to help readers discover how to better integrate their human experience to live more empowered lives. Melissa reveals how to befriend yourself as you are, and access the wisdom of emotions. She teaches how to embody deep listening skills, using resources when working with others, address long-standing fears and challenges in relationships, explore and sync with the invisible forces of life, and much more.

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Where is my mind: The Body and Mind are inseparable

Myrna: You said that your mind follows you wherever you go. Where is my mind?

Melissa: Wherever you find the body you find the mind, it is inseparable from the body. We can sense and store experiences in our bodies. That's part of our mind, our thinking mind is always thinking about the future or thinking about the past. We are never in the, present moment. Where is my mind,? It's never focused on what I am doing. And so wherever we go, there you are, and so you can't really ever get away from yourself. Right?

So, where is my mind? How do I befriend it? We're always trying to change ourselves, which is another form of aggression. When we're trying not to be who we are, we are not being kind to ourselves. Every one of us is actually pretty perfect as we are even when we have disabilities and problems. There's a jewel inside all of us, but we need the right conditions for that to shine.

Myrna: It that a part of, contemplative psychology? What is the definition of, contemplative psychology?

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What is Contemplative psychology

Melissa: Contemplative psychology, is, Buddhist psychology, in an engaged form. So Buddha, God, whenever you study, Buddhism, you're studying, Buddhist psychology, because, Buddhism, is the language of, psychology, right? Buddhism, is about understanding how the, mind, works. The, Buddhist, path and what makes it so appealing is it can be done very intellectually.

In, karuna, as in, contemplative psychology, we make it very experiential. We not only talk about the teachings of the five skandhas, which is how the, mind, creates itself, but we look at those aspects of, mind, how we engage them in our daily life. So we sort of study under the hood, how the, mind, operates, but we bring it personally down into what that means on a day to day basis. We do a lot of experiential exercises, and processes and methods that teach us about the non duality that you and I are not separate.

Myrna: All right. I like that. So if you're saying that the, mind, follows us wherever we go, and the, mind, is in the body, I'm assuming that your work is teaching people how to not have the, mind, follow them. Is that correct?

Melissa: It's not that you don't want your, mind, with you in your body. It's a question of what your, mind, is doing.

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Using Buddhism to release trauma

Myrna: That's what I meant. Let's take for instance, right, you talk about women, or I think you said women, but let's say anyone that has a mental issue, and or maybe they have, trauma, from their past, and they're stuck in the past. Because their, mind, is following them in the, present moment. Their body has all kinds of disease and all kinds of pain. So when you go through the, karuna, program, are you are telling them how to release the, mind?

Melissa: Not to release it, much more how to utilize it. I teach how to utilize and work with your, mind, so that there's a certain amount of, mind training, that happens which has to do with learning how to synchronize your body, your breath or your speech because speech is not only what you know, from a, Buddhist, perspective, we say synchronize your body, speech and mind together, the, present moment.

And most of the time we're not doing that, right. We're doing one thing we're driving in the body. The, mind, is thinking about what we have to do or what we didn't do. Or we may be driving and we might be feeling bad because our kid got a bad grade or something. You know, we were constantly multitasking. We're splintered. But when we learn to synchronize our body, speech and mind in the, present moment, even just sometimes, then it is powerful.

It took me a very long time to learn how to do that because I did have a lot of, trauma, in my body. And it's only recently that I've been able to access some of that with some of the new therapies and things so this doesn't isn't an answer for all. We are addressing, trauma, because we're learning so much about, trauma, and how it abides in the body.

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Using Buddhism to welcome the present moment

But learning how to bring your, mind, to the, present moment, and experience what you're experiencing in the, present moment, is profoundly powerful. So usually we use our body to anchor ourselves in feeling. Sometimes we're thinking so wildly, we can't do anything except feel your body right now. How it feels, how it's sitting in the room.

Just bringing your breath into the present moment and then kind of scan your body puts you in touch with your feelings. Your, mind, is located somewhere in your body. You can use your body as an anchor to the, present moment, and bring yourself present. And then we teach how to work with those emotions because all emotions from our perspective, have wisdom.

But a lot of times we're managing them we go. I don't want to feel that so how are you doing? I'm fine. You know, we have real conditioned ways of working. Or another alternative is we can act on our, emotions. But really to meet the, emotion, we have to feel it in the body. We experience it fully and listen. And that's where the, contemplative psychology, part is.

You befriend us you actually befriended it as your teacher, and take it as in because, emotions, can be very difficult and painful. So there's a certain amount of training ourselves to abide in discomfort without acting out and without suppressing things. So that takes time.

We all have, generational trauma, and suppressing, trauma, and being oblivious and a lot of time, depending on when, trauma, occurs. It can affect how much we remember. A lot of my, trauma, was pre verbal, right? So took me a lot to be able to recover that. But what do I mean when I say your, mind, follows you? So I'm talking about our, habits of mind. And of course, trauma, informs our, habits of mind. Right?

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Understanding the emotional content around trauma

So the training isn't it about releasing it, because there is work to be done to release and discover, trauma, but our work has to do with understanding that there's some emotional content around it and that emotional content has wisdom. And it you know, for example, like anger, people don't want to feel angry, right? But anger has a real purpose. It's for one thing, it's how we set boundaries. How we know how to say no, when we need to say no. It's also how we can learn what we don't want in life and being very clear about you know, it sharpens the mind. Right? Or even jealousy, which is usually coming out of a comparative thing where we're comparing ourselves,

Myrna: I'm a Christian. And what I've heard about, Buddhism, is a from Buddha himself and, and his teachings about suffering and his teachings about, the mind. I also follow guru's like Sadhguru and Deepak Chopra. So, first of all, talk to us about, Buddhism. What is Buddhism? What are some of the foundational principles of, Buddhism, and then we want to talk about this, tantric Buddhism, because, to me, when I hear the word, tantric, I'm thinking sexual energy.

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Buddhism was not from Buddha

Melissa: Well, Buddhist, Buddhism, really wasn't from the, Buddha. Buddha, himself was not a, Buddhist. And it's a what I love about, Buddhism. I've had many people of other faiths in my trainings, because, Buddhism, is kind of a philosophy or an understanding of the, mind, and the development of the heart to be beneficial to others. And of course, all religions have their version of that.

But, Buddhism, offers a very distinct path of, meditation, where you learned, not everybody can meditate. I've recently I'm really reevaluating because, Buddhism, like everything else has been colonized in America and whitewashed. So I want an individualized tool teaching us about learning how, meditation, is the tool to teach us how to synchronize our body, our speech and our breath, that which exchanges with the world in our, mind, in the, present moment, and that is how we evoke sanity.

So many people come to my trainings and I'm very specific, that I'm not offering a spiritual path. I'm condensing down the teachings of the, Buddha, and a very ancient recipe of how to develop a potent heart, a compassionate heart. That's an essential recipe into western psychological process. And then also how to bring that presence to others. Like as a listening presence or as a compassionate friend. And so these kinds of trainings, don't have anything to do with, Buddhism, except that we draw on the wisdom of, Buddhism, but one doesn't need to be a, Buddhist.

Tantric Buddhism originated with Hinduism

Okay, wants to get into, tantric Buddhism. So it was initiated by a very wild character named Padma Sun bhava, who went to Tibet. And he's brought, Buddhism, to Tibet in the eighth century, and he was bringing, Tantra, which is basically, tantric. Tantra, teachings come from Hinduism, and the Vedic tradition came before them it kind of married with, Buddhism, right? All these traditions marry. But, Buddhism, a, tantric Buddhism simply means using anything in the world to wake up, including things that you wouldn't consider spiritual.
Sexuality is kind of where it's been taken, especially in North America in the hippie days, everybody was doing, Tantra. One should be very careful if someone says I'm going to teach you, tantric Buddhism. Wrong because it's a very specific lineage that needs to be built on the foundation of all the other, Buddhism, the classical, Buddhism, of no harm.

So I think we have to be careful with this word, tantric Buddhism. It just simply means using anything to wake up like one's habits or addictions or that you can wake up and become a kind and compassionate person. So it's about a path of transmutation.

Book The Diamonds With Us — Book: The Diamonds With Us

Book The Diamond Within Us

Myrna: Okay, so that's awesome. All right. So you wrote your book and you call it “The Diamond Within US” or conversation has been about understanding your your mind body, and, and looking inside you mentioned that we have we're all gems, right. So tell us about what do you mean by the, diamond within us? Also why you wrote the book and what do you want people to walk away with after reading the book?

Melissa: Well, we have a practice in, Karuna, training called shining the dual, which is where we bear witness to others skills and holding others in compassionate exchange. First we learn how to see everyone as having strengths, real strengths, genuine strengths, authentic strengths, and how to call those out. They may not be your strengths and they wouldn't be how you would do it, but how do you see through the eyes of people what they bring which is different than you? Right?

And we practice that in, karuna, it takes a kind of intensity and intensification the same way diamonds take a lot of intensification and are formed in the muck and slime. Just like lotuses the classic tradition is lotuses grow in the muck and slime but they're pure and white on the outside. It's the same principle that we had, and I really do truly believe because I have worked with all walks of life and and even people suffering with very chronic mental conditions such as schizophrenia and some of these very difficult mental states.

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The teaching of Karuna

So, the book is really an offering of the teaching that I've done. It doesn't follow the curriculum of, karuna, but it's also used as a kind of textbook in, karuna, training. But it's also just an offering because a lot of people don't know what, contemplative psychology, is. I hope they will because I feel like what I'm teaching should be taught in kindergarten, honestly, I feel it is the operating system of our body speech and mind and we don't know how to use it.

Myrna: What do you want them to walk away with after reading?

Melissa: Well, I hope that my book instills the importance of loving kindness, that it can be cultivated towards ourselves and towards others, that making friends with our strengths exactly as we are with all of our warts and our problems.

Myrna: Well that's good, that's another way of saying, self love, people might think, why do we need to teach, self love, but you're right. A lot of people don't love themselves, they look in the mirror, and they don't like what they see. Tell us about your website. I'm assuming that you offer the, Karuna, classes on your website or courses, right?

Melissa: Well, we don't offer courses through the website www.karunatraining.com that we advertise and if they come to our website or in a training, you can sign up for our mailing list and then you'll get our newsletters. I am about to launch information about a new cohort because we do our bigger trainings or certificates in cohorts. so we'll probably start in the spring, I'm just getting ready to publish that and putting it all together. And then we have other courses every month. We have a, Karuna, live where people can come on live time and we do a little, meditation. There's usually a topic and a talk that goes along with our newsletter, and then we do an experiential exercise so people can get a taste of the work.

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Using Spiritual Psychology as A Personal Transformation Tool

October 17, 2022 Myrna Young

Spiritual psychology, is a lens that we look through that teaches us everything that's happening in our life, is happening for us. That all of our challenges are beautifully designed opportunities, or I should say beautifully disguised opportunities giving us the steppingstones, we need to grow and evolve and transform. It is a, personal transformation, tool that helps us into our next level of protection to really fulfill our intelligence, which is the fullest realized expression of who we come here to be in this life.

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What is Spiritual Psychology

Donna: Spiritual psychology, is really a technology that was innovated and pioneered by doctors Ron and Mary Holman at the University of Santa Monica. Spiritual psychology, is a lens that we look through that teaches us everything that's happening in our life is happening for us. That all of our challenges are beautifully designed opportunities, or I should say beautifully disguised opportunities. Giving us the steppingstones, we need to grow and evolve and transform into our next level of protection to really fulfill our intelligence, which is the fullest realized expression of who we come here to be in this life.

Book: Original Wisdom: Harness the Power of the Authentic You

And that's what it is. It's a perspective, right? It is a way to see the world and when we start seeing the world as if everything that's happening is really this beautifully designed opportunity for us to grow and learn and change and evolve. And we start seeing the world from an empowered place, rather than seeing the world from a place of feeling victimized by life circumstances and life's happenstance of life's craziness.

Myrna: That is actually quite good. And I would get as you're talking, I'm imagining myself in a coaching session, and you're talking to someone, and they are saying Oh, my life has been very bad, and all these different things happened to me. And then you can turn that around and say, you know what, what did this teach you? What do you think that this revealed to you? What strengths did you bring out of that? That is a, spiritual psychology, session.

I am actually loving it. Now you guys are calling it a different name. But the Bible teaches that everything happens for your good. Actually, it's one of the scripture verses that I that I adhere to, and it's one of my foundation scriptures is that yes, everything happens for your good. So now that I've opened that door, so how do you use, spiritual psychology, as a, transformation tool, in your coaching sessions?

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Heart centered listening is one of the principles of spiritual psychology

Donna: Well, there are 33 principles and practices of, spiritual psychology. And so, I use each of these principles and practices to support the client in doing their life from a different place. And you know, two of our foundational skills the University of Santa Monica has entitled the skill, heart centered listening, and I call it, heart centered listening. The original name for seeing the loving essence I have renamed to big acknowledgement. A big acknowledgement is the recognition that you and I are, spiritual beings, on this epic human adventure. And when I recognize you also as a, spiritual being, having this public human adventure, then there's something about that that makes us the same.

And when we begin to recognize that for every single person on the planet, then we can really recognize that we really are all one and we're all in this together. We're all facing the same challenges and the same trials and the same opportunities. You know, we all are in club human together, having this human experience.

Heart centered listening, is really about it's about what you do all day in your in your job Myrna with these podcasts that you do and like deeply listening to another person giving them the space to share from a center heart opened place where they are free to explore their own consciousness. And download from the infinite universe kind of trickle into the conversation. And when we invite that, infinite intelligence, into the conversation, who knows what's going to happen? That is why we call it, spiritual psychology.

Myrna: I love it. Yes, yes. You're talking my language girl. Yeah, I you know, we are all love. I love Deepak Chopra. And you know, Deepak Chopra always says that we are all, spiritual beings, having a, human experience, manifesting through a, central nervous system. So, each one of us is manifesting, through our individual, human nervous system. But eventually we're all we're all connected.

One of the one of the things that he says, and I was even meditating on this morning, is that we're all like a wave in the ocean. We're all part of the ocean and each one of us is a wave. And so, what you are saying is beautiful. And you are correct when you recognize that we're all one, and we're all spirit and we're all connected, that changes your perception on your struggles. Is that what you are calling, spiritual psychology?

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Spiritual psychology is the gateway to acceptance of our humaneness

Donna: Well, yes, it's one way that you can go with it. And, you know, the longer I'm on this spiritual path, the more I realized it's really about loving my humaneness. And I think a big gateway to, transformation, and how I work with my clients is really inviting them into a deeper level of reverence for their, human experience, a deeper level of acceptance for the human. A deeper level of acceptance for ourselves, you know, for how we fall short of our own aspirations in life, and how we relate to ourselves, when we're going through something difficult.

That's really where we have an opportunity to have a different experience in our life. I love what you were sharing about Deepak Chopra. And one of the things that the way that I like to say it is we are all unique, individualized expressions of, the Divine. And no two of us are the same, right? Every single one of us is this gorgeous depiction of, the Divine. And how magnificent is that? And it's quite a miracle.

And it's quite miraculous, but we overlook it on a regular basis. And so, I helped people slow down and tune in so that they can begin to recognize their power, the real power, the power that comes from inside of us, not the power that we think that we get from our job or for money or from a status position or anything like that. Helping people to recognize that they have this inherent power within them. And that power is a source of our aliveness. That is that power is the source of our expression out in the world as a drop in, the Divine.

Myrna: Very true. It's actually very powerful. Very powerful, because, you know, one of the reasons that I concentrate so heavily on the, mind, is because that's where it starts. It's how you think is your thoughts is your thought process. And, yeah, once you recognize that, that you're limitless, that you're powerful, that you actually shape your destiny and that is all part of, spiritual psychology.

It doesn't just happen, you're shaping it by your thoughts and if you feel empowered, or if you feel a victim, you know, that's basically my story as well. Yeah, you got to realize, you have power and instead of being stuck, you have the power to change your life, if it's going in one direction, just like you did. You figure that yeah; I am just on a treadmill. And what did you do? You did something about it, right? You didn't stay there and wait until you're 65 and then say, you know, my life has been terrible.

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Reclaiming our authentic power

Now, one of the other things that we were talking about is how can we use consciousness to reclaim our, authentic power.

Donna: We have to become present, be in the, present moment, Myrna? We're all so caught up in the future with the two dues right? We got to go here. We got to do this. We got to do that. And our mind, you know, our attention and our energy go into the future. Or we're stuck in the past, right? We're obsessing about I should have said this, or I should have done that. And we're caught up in yesterday and what really is over that we can't even change. But when we can be here in this, present moment, right now, and place our energy and our intention on person, the situation whatever is right in front of us. Then we are tapping into our, consciousness, in the highest way that we can at the time.

Myrna: Right. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yes, because yes, consciousness, is definitely being present and nothing happens outside of the, present moment. A lot of people are always in the past or the future. But change only happens in the, present moment. So, that's pretty good. All right. Now one of the things that you do in your in your work, is you talk about the, power of the I AM. So, talk to us about how you help your clients to using, I AM, to pivot for to help with their, transformation.

Donna: Thank you so much for asking this question. I see this as one of the most powerful tools that we all have in our toolbox. And it's the two little, teeny tiny words, I AM, because when we say those words, we are making a declaration. We are making a proclamation to the universe. And so, I invite your listeners to just pay attention. What comes attached to these two little words in your life? Are you walking around saying, I am, tired? I am, exhausted. I am, sick. I AM, whatever. Because the back story that we're telling, then those are the results that we are creating.

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Using I AM in transformation

And so, I see this as literally like using a magic wand. We are instantaneously reaffirming what we do want to experience, what we do want to occur. So, we can put our attention, our focus on that immediately and begin to say things like,

I AM, doing the best that I can in the moment.
I am, moving towards radiant health and wellbeing.
I am, vitality.
I am perfect, just the way God made me.
I am, accepting all of myself, no matter what society says about you.

So, it's really a powerful way to change our current reality. And I talk extensively about this. I have a whole chapter called, I AM, or it's called the responsibility of, I am, in my book “Original Wisdom: Harnessing the Power of the Authentic You.”

My book really talks about my journey and how I left the corporate arena, and Myrna it wasn't a straight path. I gotta tell you, it wasn't hiding guidance. I didn’t wake up one morning and said, I'm going to be a coach. It didn't happen like that. And as a matter of fact, if you could have told me that I was going to be in these sacred, intimate, loving, connected one on one conversations with people I would have said oh, hell no, that's never gonna happen. Because the time that my journey began, the, mindset, that I had, was completely different than the, mindset, that I have now.

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Mindset and personal development

Myrna: I know, we're in the, personal improvement, and, personal development, space, and we grow along with people that we teach. I am listening and learning something every single day so we're growing in that space. And for me, because I get to speak to excellent guests like yourself, I'm learning, It’s like a school for me. I'm learning from all my guests. And yeah, your, mindset, keeps shifting.

But I want to touch back on that, I am, statement because one of the things that I love saying is, I am the universe, and that's basically what you were talking about. Earlier, when you said that we are, spiritual beings, right. And we're part of the Infinite is the fact that, I'm the universe, right? The universe is inside of me. So now you coach, and you have your master's degree. So why did you write the book and what is it that you want the readers to walk away with, after they put it down?

Donna: The truth is, I was really creating a workshop. I was putting together teaching points. And as I was going through these teaching points, I thought to myself, oh, I have a story for that. You know, I really want to illustrate that in a more visual way, in a way that people can remember or walk away with. And so, as I started compiling all of my stories, I kind of took a step back and I was like, that's my story. It's like my whole story. And after a little bit of rearranging, I unfolded, really this path and I don't tell the story in a chronological way, because of the way in which, I AM, pulled each of the concepts.

Original Wisdom: Harness the power of the authentic you

I deliver a dovetail experience to it so that each of them builds on their previous one. And really, what I want people to walk away with is a sense of that, authentic empowerment, a sense that they are so much more, we are so much more than what we have been taught. And original wisdom is an inherent intelligence in all beings, that is rooted in unconditional love.

And when I think about, our spirit or soul, the energy of that is unconditional love. So, the intention of my book is to help people remember what their needs are. They are made of love. And we just have stuff that stands in the way of that. And that's really what I help my clients do is remove those blocks, so that they can remember the truth of who they are.

Myrna: I love it. Where can we get a copy of your book and tell us about your website and tell us you know, you're a coach and you do offer personal transformation coaching. So, tell us tell our listeners how they can get in touch with you.

Donna: All of the information can be found on www.Donnabond.com. And my book, of course, is on Amazon and all of the major book retailers out there “Original Wisdom: Harness the Power of the Authentic You.” And periodically I have a masterclass that I offer called empower the authentic you where I teach live, the concepts that I offer in original wisdom.

Additional Resources

How to Replace Bad Habits With Success Habits

Life Coaching, transformation Friday

How to Be Successful:10 Secrets to Success

October 7, 2022 Myrna Young

I want to share 10, secrets to success, that are also my, secrets to success. I do believe that, success, leaves Clues. I have not achieved ultimate, success; I am still working towards it, but I am, successful, because I have succeeded in all the goals, I have set for myself.

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Definition of success

So, what is the, definition of success? Success, is defined the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.

We all think that, success, means the attainment of wealth and furthermore we think wealth is millions in the bank. But let me share with you a secret, you are wealthier that 95% of the world if you have a savings account, if you have a jar of coins, if you have food to eat and a roof over your head.

You are considered, successful, if you have achieved eminence which means you have a successful career or profession. How many of you know that you could have a PHD and be recognized with all kind of awards and accolades and still live in poverty. I say all that to say that I am, successful, even though I have not yet achieved great wealth.

My story is probably similar to a lot of people who achieved, success. Most successful people start off with nothing and I am no exception.

How to be successful

I was born in British Guyana, in South America. When I was born Guyana was very a poor country, it still is a Third World country. Both my mom and my grandmother were domestic servants and we didn't have much. My Dad taught me at a very early age the value of education to elevate ourselves out of poverty. He was very smart. When I was born he was in Teachers College and went on to get his PH.D in in London in his early thirties. This is the first step in, how to be successful, education.

I'm submerging myself right now in the book “The Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton and I'm understanding from Dr. Lipton, that genes give us 50% of our character and the other 50% comes from the environment we grew up in. Looking back, I can say that as a child, because I was the first born, I was cocooned in love so, the environment that I grew up in, kind of nullified the poverty thing.

Self Improvement Book: Out of the Snares — Out of the Snares of poverty, and abuse

10 Secrets to Success

So let me share with you the 10, secrets of my success, as recorded in my book Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement.

Secret # 1- Don't be a victim. Many women in the black community have been molested as children and I was one of them. We could use that story to become a, victim, of our circumstances and that stifles, success, because, victims, have no power. A, victim mentality, says that somebody did something to you and that person has the power over you. Instead, you need to become as a Player. When you are a player, I use the analogy of a blackjack game, regardless of what the dealer is showing, regardless of where you are and your circumstances right now, regardless of what you see physically in front of you, you can still play to win.

Rewrite Your Story

Secret # 2 – Don’t be defined by where you start out, rewrite your story. In the movie Maid in Manhattan with Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer Lopez was a maid and she lied about who she was so she could date a Senator, when she was found out and fired from the hotel, her manager told her just because we serve others, we are not their servants. They are no better than us because they have money. You are not inferior because you were born on the wrong side of the tracks or in a poor country. Your intelligence can take you from there and transplant you in the land of the riches. Another story I want to share with you is about Sydney Pottier. I was just watching his documentary on Netflix and he shared that he never saw lights, running water, a school nothing. He was born in a poor part of the Bahamas and when he first went to Nassau and saw the other side of how people lived, he was amazed.

Then he moved to Miami and started delivering food and encountered racism where because he was black, he was considered not worthy of anything. So he moved to Harlem where he saw for the first time, successful blacks. He decided to try his luck at acting, but he couldn’t read. He taught himself to read by reading the newspaper and got rid of his accent by mimicking a radio personality and he went on to become the first African American to win an academy award and star in the most iconic films. So regardless of where you start out in life you can always, rewrite your story.

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Secrets to Success: An abundant mindset

Secret #3 – Develop an abundant mindset – When I was a child, my parents were poor but I had a very wealthy Godfather. I spent a lot of time at his house and he treated me like one of his grandchildren. Because of my association with my godfather, I never wanted for anything. When I became an adult, this, abundant mindset, helped me always look at a glass half full instead of half empty.

I immigrated to Toronto, Canada at 17 years old. I immediately got a good job at a bank with no experience. After a couple of years, I decided to go to college. Canada is a country with lots of benefits. I was able to go back to school for free, unemployment insurance from my job paid for my schooling. I graduated with a degree in computer science and I decided to go to sell computers because I understood that that's where the most money was.

When you have an, abundant mindset, you look at the world as having everything you need and you don’t see lack. Because of this you attract into your experience abundance.

Secrets to success: Unleash the power within

Secrets to success, #4 – Unleash the power within. As I mentioned, after graduating from College, I took a job selling computers. A couple years into selling computers, my company received an invitation to attend a free seminar with Tony Robbins called, Unleash the power within. How many of you know that everything you need to be successful in life is pre-loaded into you at birth.

Joel Osteen says, we are all like a luxury car, we come pre-loaded with all kinds of luxury features and all we have to do is read the manual to figure out how to work them. Unleash the Power within, opened up to me my pre-loaded characteristics, I went into that seminar as a salesperson, I came out of that seminar an entrepreneur. Two months later, I started my own limousine service and went on to become the largest female operator in Toronto, Canada and winning the Entrepreneur of the year award.

Secret to Success, #5 – Persistence, never give up. If you have a goal or dream, never give up on it. My favorite mantra is “If you build it, they will come.” I have had several goals and dreams that I stuck with and, never gave up. My book “Out of the Snares” reads like a suspense novel as I give details about achieving my dream of becoming an American Citizen. I, never gave up; it took me 3 tries and 10 years but, in the end, I received this benefit.

I also kept looking for love, I have been married quite a few times until I found the man of my dreams.

I started my radio show and podcast 7 years ago and kept building and building. I knew I had to put in the time and finally, I have achieved, success. So, make persistence your top characteristic and never ever give up on your dreams.

Secrets to Success: Guidance from your higher self

Secrets to success, #6 – be open to guidance from the Divine or your, Higher self. You have to live consciously to be in communication with your spirit guide. I know now that the things that we see and the things that we pay attention to, is the universe speaking to us and directing us to our purpose.

The way to open yourself up to guidance from your, higher self, is to meditate and quiet your mind. I am most open to inspiration when I wake up in the morning and I act on all my inspiration messages so as to keep them coming.

Secret to success, #7 – Action. I am not one of those people who think about things for years and do nothing. I get inspiration and I move. Case in point. One day I was flipping through a newspaper and I saw the word Life coach under the name of one of my church members. I had never heard or seen that word before.

I was reading this book at the time and the author was saying that if you would like to find out how someone is achieving success buy them lunch or dinner and pick their brains. So, I invited my church sister to lunch and asked her everything I needed to know about becoming a Life coach. I didn’t waste any time, I took,action. I was enrolled in University of Miami coaching program the next month! Like I said, I move, I take, action.

About a year after becoming a, Life Coach, I received an invitation to be a guest on a radio show and talk about my, secrets to success, The show was aired on WDJY 99.1 Metro Atlanta. Hype Media Global owned the station and they loved my personality and my content and offered me my own show! The rest is history. The radio show turned into a podcast and a television show on Preach The Word Worldwide Television Network , Action, is the first step to the rest of your life.

Secret to Success: learn as you go

Secrets to success, # 8 – Jump in and, learn as you go. As I mentioned, when Hype media offered me my own show, I didn’t hesitate by saying I don’t know what to do. I had to learn to interview, I had to learn to produce my own show and then learn how to convert it to a podcast. I learned as I went on, then I had to learn how to write a blog, then I had to learn how to edit my website, how to do SEO, Etc. I am still learning every day.

Secrets to success, #9 – practice meditation. There are so many benefits to, meditation. For me, meditation, allows me to control my energy and vibration. When you relax your body and quite your mind from thoughts of the past or future you are able to concentrate on the, present moment. The, present moment, is the only thing that matters, it is really a present.

The benefit for me is that I know that when I have positive vibration, I attract the good things. If you want to be, successful, you need to engage the, laws of attraction, to bring you what you dream about. The only way to do this is to control your energy. Meditation, relaxes mind body so that your spirit which is your, subconscious mind, can get to work. This is how you become the co-creator of your life. So, meditate and concentrate on what you want because where attention goes, energy flows!

Secret to success: Transform Your Mind

Secrets to success, #10 – Transform your mind, I encourage everybody that's listening to this podcast or reading this blog, to look at what beliefs and behaviors are not serving you and replace them. It is not easy because most of us live unconsciously, but awareness is key.

Look for the opportunity in any setback. I'm an optimist. I am not sure when this started, but I'm an optimist. Optimism is one of the foundations to, secrets to success, anytime something happens to me or I receive any kind of push-back, I look for the opportunity in it. What I'm talking about is, transform your mind, to obstacles or setbacks; when one door closes another door opens. Don’t spend too much time looking in the rear-view mirror, you are not going that way.

I was working for Office Depot when Office Depot and OfficeMax merged and they fired me and gave me a great severance package. I had worked for Office Depot for ten years. With that severance package, I started my own business and went into it full time. I never looked back. I had coworkers who wallowed in self-pity. What am I going to do? How am I going to find a job at 50 years old? Cry, cry.

I heard Oprah say it a different way.

The sun is always there even when the clouds are covering it. The sun is still shining underneath, you just can't see it. Always look for the silver lining, if you look for it, you will find it.

Live your life with intention. Intention is energy, it’s thought. Before you do anything, it first has to be a thought in your brain. Before you can hold anything in your hand you first have to hold it in your head.

These are my, secrets to my success; I hope you can make them yours.

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into, Transformation Fridays, with coach Myrna. I hope you were inspired today and look at, success, differently. I hope to see you back here next week for another episode of, Transformation Fridays. Until then Namaste

Additional Resources

How to Unleash The Power Within

5 mins with coach Myrna, Life Coaching, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast

What Is The Foundation Of Happiness

June 10, 2022 Myrna Young

What is the, foundation of happiness? We live in a culture where, happiness, is largely based on external forces. Like, what did we get and what did we achieve? And that's basically your, foundation of happiness. And when our life conditions don't match your expectations, we experience pain and fear. We suffer and become unhappy.

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Foundation of Happiness is Inner peace

But imagine what it would feel like if you could create a constant sense of, inner peace, and freedom and live each day in a beautiful state. Hi, I'm Coach Myrna young and welcome to, Five minute Fridays with Coach Myrna. I want to ask you what's preventing you from, happiness, and living in a state of, peace and joy?

I remember watching the, happiness movie, once. And this was a documentary that was recorded in India, where people who are living on maybe $100 a year living in huts with just covering over their head, most of them sleeping on rocks on the floor. And they were, happy. And this is why this was so unusual in the documentary.

It looked at the, foundation of happiness, what is happiness, and what causes, happiness. The end result of what that movie was trying to show was that it doesn't matter how poor you are, it doesn't matter if you don't have a lot of money. What matters most to the people and the, foundation of happiness, is family, and love.

Happiness, is making sure your children are safe and things like that. Research shows that 85% of our, happiness, comes from our, relationships. It's not just, relationships, with people, it's, relationship, with God as well. If you don't believe in God, then your, relationship, with the planet and the universe becomes important, but that is basically how we find, true happiness.

The, foundation of happiness, is living a life of peace and joy. Now, there's a time when I believed that your spouse, or your children or your boss, or somebody was responsible for our, happiness, but nobody can be responsible for your, happiness. I remember when Jennifer Gardner told the world that Ben Aflec was not responsible for her, happiness. He was not the foundation of her happiness. of course they broke up because he was cheating on her with the nanny but even though she was hurt her, happiness, did not come from external sources and events.

Definition of happiness

Nobody can be responsible for our, happiness. You think that you're going to be happy when you get a husband or when you get that new car or that new job. But once you get, what you find is when you get these things, you're not really happy, because, happiness, only comes from internal sources, and I personally found that the, definition of happiness, is correct.

It's true.

The, definition of happiness, is working towards a goal or purpose.

And that's where my, happiness, comes from. My ,happiness, comes from me trying to excel in what I do. I am a host on a radio program, podcast, I'm a lifecoach. Things that I am working towards, in order to better myself. I learn something new every day because, I practice CANI which is constant and never ending improvement. And when I find that I'm growing then I'm happy.

Good, personal relationships, enhances my life, when you're fighting with your husband you're not thinking of what you don't have in your life. When you're in the lack mode, you really can't access your, inner peace, and joy that actually brings you, happiness. So I want you to discover what's holding you back from, happiness.

What's holding you back from being happy. I would like to encourage you to tap in to, inner peace, with, meditation, and, mindfulness, and start living in the, present moment, because, happiness, can only be found in the present moment. That is the, foundation of happiness, being in the present moment. Not in the past, not in the future.

Take the time to sit with your feelings of unhappiness, or pain, or regret. And maybe you can even try to find a lesson in it. Because there's a test in every testimony. So try to find what the universe or God was trying to teach you with that circumstances that you said, made you unhappy. And then once you sit with it, and feel the pain and not trying to, self medicate, with drugs or food or sex or whatever you do to try to feel better.

You just sit with the painful feelings. When you sit with it, then you you will find that you can stop the pain and allow life to unfold in the beautiful way that it was meant to be. One of the things I do to stop the minor irritations in my personal life and that are trying to take my joy and peace away is to breathe deeply.

People will always irritate you. My little irritation comes when I call my husband, and he doesn't pick up the phone, and I'm wondering why he can't hear the phone, or my kids leave the house and not tell me where they're going and I think it's disrespectful. So I've learned to do something that's called R&R which is, relax and release. And what this is, I breathe in deeply and relax and then I breathe out through my mouth and release it out.

If you do this breathing method for a few minutes, then you will find that that irritation is no longer there. And the next time that person does that same thing, then you're actually not going to get irritated because you caught it. Caught it and you relaxed and you released it.

Conclusion

So that is all for today's five minutes with Coach Myrna. I hope that I shared a few things on, happiness foundation, and maybe you can start doing some of these things. In order for you to, be happy. Remember, happiness, is not from external sources. It is only from your internal peace or moving towards a goal or desire. What you moving towards it, you're in alignment with the universe and you will be happy. So until next time, Namaste

Additional Resources

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

Life Coaching, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, purpose, transform your mind

Using Mindfulness And Breathwork To Heal After Tragedy

March 7, 2022 Myrna Young

Kushal Choksi, 911 survivor, shares his story of surviving the collapse of the, World Trade Center, and then asking the universe why he survived. What was his, purpose, when he stumbled onto, Sky Breath meditation, and, breathwork, as a healing modality from, trauma; he realized that he had found his purpose.

Kushal's new book “On a Wing and A Prayer” tells his story.

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https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10204946-using-mindfulness-and-breathwork-to-heal-after-tragedy.mp3?download=true

Bio

Kushal’s thriving career as an analyst at Goldman Sachs was forever changed on September 11, 2001 as he made a split-moment decision to abandon his office and the co-workers who refused to leave the World Trade Center. Managing to narrowly escape, he witnessed the magnitude of death and destruction up close and was plunged into lengthy depression where he found himself believing life was meaningless.

His search for a renewed, purpose, began with a reluctant trip to a, breathwork, workshop and eventually turned into a decades-long journey of spiritual discovery, mind-blowing metaphysical experiences, and a fierce devotion to the life-altering benefits of mindfulness and meditation.

Today, Kushal and his wife run Elements Truffles, a New York-based artisanal chocolate company built on values of Ayurveda, sustainability, giving back and ethical trade. Kushal is a trainer of personal development, meditation, wellness, and leadership programs for the Art of Living Foundation. He has taught secrets of breathwork and meditation to thousands across the US, Europe, and Asia. And he serves on the US board of the International Association for Human Values (IAHV).

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Surviving 911

Myrna: How did surviving, 911, on, September 11, change your life? How did that tragedy make you more receptive to a new spiritual path of, mindfulness, breathwork, and, meditation?

Kushal: Great question. I think, you know, as I recall, the day started as any other day where I was on my way to work. And as I was coming out of the, the subway, in the bowels of the, world trade center, that's when the pandemonium broke around me and I froze. In that moment, I didn't know how to process all that. People were just running around, saying things that they understood, or they perceived, someone was saying a bomb had gone off.

Nobody really knew what was happening. Only one thing was evident, there was a fear, there was massive fear in the atmosphere. That's all I really remember that it was unsafe to be outside. I stepped out and as I was looking at the building, trying to process what had just happened, another plane crashed into the South Tower. Of course, in that moment, it became clear that this was a more deliberate action.

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And what followed after that, people jumping in front of me, just to end it willfully, or the first responders going in, almost walking into their own end, you know, and it was all kind of very unexpected and very difficult to process. It felt like a scene from an apocalypse movie that you can almost imagine, but you never think you would be part of it, or you would be living it. And as I was running away from it, the second tower just collapsed. And by a stroke of luck, I had just jumped on a ferry on the other end of the island that was leaving Manhattan.

I ended up being the last person on the last ferry that left the island that day. At that moment, I realized that I turned into a statistic, that I was now a, 911 survivor. And, you know, that day kind of prepared me and laid a foundation for what was to come in my life. Part of me was feeling very grateful, very happy that I had, I made it out alive, and I survived these horrific attacks.

Finding purpose as a survivor of 911

So, there was an enthusiasm to finish the unfinished business. I used to work on Wall Street now, that American dream that I have come to pursue as an immigrant, I had to go out and create a new dream. An event like this was a wakeup call to find, purpose in life. It was something that shook me up from my reverie and made me ask a bigger question. What is my, purpose in life?

This was a life changing event, I talked to many people and I say maybe, 911, was an event for me, but I feel everyone has their own, 911. Whether they were when their world crashed. It was that day 20 years ago before a pandemic like what we've just been through?

Myrna: Yes, we all we all walk away from something. So, you weren't at work yet when the planes crashed into the, world trade center? You were just coming out of the subway. Obviously, it wasn't your time. Were you running late for work? Were you supposed to be at work on time?

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Making the decision to Go

Kushal: No, the security person was asking us to go back in the building. Because, if you stepped outside, just on the other side of that glass door, it was raining cement chips, that insulation from the wall that glass splinters, embers from the sky, it was like really unsafe. And so, he was asking people to stay inside, but in that moment, I decided to step out and go. A voice from behind me tap on my shoulder and say, Just go. And so yeah, that was my clothes in the dryer moment, because the building collapsed a few minutes later.

The aftermath of 911

After, September 11, I think I can paint a broad brush and what I had was, depression. I think, depression, follows lack of interest, but for me, it was it was exactly the opposite. I was feeling so grateful that I had a second lease on life. That I felt I had to go after whatever was unfinished with even more gusto. I have tremendous force of life in me. It's just that I began questioning the, purpose of life, what's really the point of this life. I was I was doing well in my career. I got married to my soulmate but what was my, purpose in life?

So, I wouldn't really call it depression, but it was just, sometimes you are on autopilot. You're on a conveyor belt, and you were just going with the force of life and then something hits you with a club in your head and makes you question is this conveyor belt right for you? That was the first time I questioned my, purpose in life.

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Breathwork meditation

Myrna: All right, you found your, purpose, by going to a, breathwork, workshop and, breathwork, meditation, and that started your decades long journey in spiritual discovery. So why do you feel that proper breathing was so important to healing trauma? I don't know if you felt that you were traumatized from that, but if we don't want to use the word, trauma, why do you think that, breathwork, is so important to healing?

Kushal: I must confess that in the spirit of being very open and honest, that I did not go to that, breathwork, meditation, looking for, purpose. I was almost pushed into it against all my reluctance.

And so, the first time I meditated with, breathwork, with this teacher, this spiritual master, I was blown away. I had read all about keeping your mind in the, present moment, not thinking of the past or future just being in the, present moment. It was a fantastic, very well-read intellectual concept, lodged firmly in my head. But the first time did, breathwork, meditation, it became a tangible experience. That what it is to be in the, present moment, or what it is to have a mind without thoughts, or mind without an impulse. And that was the first time I experienced that.

Myrna: That is amazing, because most people take time to get there.

Kushal: I personally had tried it so many times before, and it didn't go anywhere. I want to come to that, why that was the case. This time, I effortlessly got there. So, then I started looking for scientific validation. That left-brain person that I was, I started looking for all the scientific underpinnings of that practice, or that, breathwork, meditation, that I experienced. And then I realized that it was real deal.

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Balancing Right Brain and Left Brain

I think the balance of both, left brain, and, right brain, is important. I think that brain is logic, analysis. Intensity, right brain, is more flow state, you know, calm music, you know, all of that emotion. So, I think a balance of both a judicious balance of both is very important. Either end of the spectrum, you somewhat lead an unbalanced life. And you want to, I think you want to be walking the razor's edge balances boredom.

Myrna: Why do you think that proper breathing aka, breathwork, heals your, trauma? Does it have to do with being in the, present moment, is that the doorway?

Kushal: There's a deeper scientific kind of effect that's happening on our nervous system. You know, any life experience that you go through, whether it's pleasant or unpleasant, it leaves a lesion or a scuff mark on your nervous system. It leaves like a, an impression in your system somewhere. Let me give you an example of something so simple as wanting to have a coffee in the morning.

First day, somebody offered you a cup of coffee in the morning, oh, you say it is the greatest thing. And next day, when you look at coffee, you remember the experience you had before. And you say, I want coffee. Third day, you are going to go and switch on the coffee pot. And the next day, if you don't have coffee in your apartment, that's going to make you feel miserable.

Sky breath meditation

So something as innocent as a coffee has created a pattern, or a conditioning of your mind. Some of the traumatic events, or some of the events of loss or anything of that nature does a very similar thing. Seeing something similar that evokes that emotion, keeps taking you back to that emotion. You know, for the, for the longest time, every time I would remove my shoes at the airport, it would take me back to the morning of, 911.

That was an impression that, 911, had created in my mind, and now, any such related events, were taking them back to past, not letting me be in more in the, present moment.

The practice that I learned, this technique is called, Sky breath meditation. And what, sky breath meditation, does is harnessing the rhythm of your own, breath. It clears your nervous system of this debilitating impression. Impressions that hold you back, impressions that take you back into those moments that you don't want to go back to.

So, the impressions make us, tied to our pass. So, what I experienced with, sky breath, was without effort.

You said a very beautiful thing earlier that I want to comment on, you said that you required visualization to move from, left brain, thinking to, right brain, thinking. Visualization, is an effort. Yes, not thinking of something or resisting thoughts is an effort. And as you know someone who is focused so much on, transforming the mind. You can't control your mind from the level of your own mind.

Transform your mind PTWWN TV — PTWWN TV – Healing with Breathwork

Using breathwork meditation to calm the mind

Myrna: Exactly. You got it. You know, that's the nature of the, mind. You cannot control it with your thoughts. Mind, does not subscribe, doesn't listen to effort. Your body listens to effort. If you want to build muscles, you have to put effort, but, sky breath, is complete effortless.

Kushal: So, what this, chi breath, did was without effort, it cleared my impressions and effortlessly took my mind to a place which was meditative. I had I tried so hard to meditate but when I closed my eyes all the profound ideas about what I wanted to have for dinner, all these trivial things which entered my awareness to the point that I cannot meditate. But now, sky breath meditation, changed all that through the simple act of, breathwork breathing.

What is Ayurveda

Myrna: All right, awesome. All right. Now, you also talk about, Ayurveda, what exactly is that?

Kushal: Ayurveda, is just science of life. It's also colloquially known as the sister science to, yoga. Yoga, focuses on body and mind. Ayurveda, focuses on nutrition, what you put inside your system. So, it focuses on achieving harmony, and balance, through your food, your food is your medicine. But unlike a lot of the trends these days, eg. keto or, paleo where you do certain things, and you definitely don't do certain things, Ayurveda, is not restrictive.

Myrna: I don't know why I have not actually investigated, Ayurveda, because Deepak Chopra and Sadhguru teaches about, Ayurveda.

Kushal: Ayurveda, has to do with the planet, it has to do with how we work with the seasons, it has to do with the time of the day. It's all about bringing that balance, bringing that harmony in your system, through eating right at the right time, in the right amount. I realized that as I went deeper into my practice of, meditation, my nutrition automatically started aligning, aligning with what I recommended.

Okay, and it was very beautiful, it didn't say, do this, don't do this, it was never about that. And the minute someone says, don’t do this, I want to do that. So that's why, Ayurveda, really resonated with me, because it said, do everything, just do it in the right amount at the right time. And mindfulness is about being aware, being mindful of what you do and eat.

Sky breath meditation and mindfulness

If you look at it scientifically, mindfulness, is a frontal cortex activity in your brain. And the research shows those people who practice, mindfulness, their frontal cortex is more developed. It is the thinking side of the brain. Mindfulness, keeps you at the surface level.

You turn off your mind, without effort. Turning off also requires effort. So, meditation, is not an act of doing anything but it's just being and then you are in that state. You connect with yourself and, meditation, happen.

Use a tool like, Sky breath, or some, breathwork, techniques allows you to connect with yourself and the more you are in touch with yourself, the more resilient you automatically become. The more aware you are at every moment, the more what is important and what is not becomes very clear. So, you may have these memories, like for example, if you like how you asked me earlier, take us to that day, 911, 2011 I can close my eyes and I can see every little detail in crystal clarity, but does it does not have the same emotional garbage or that negative charge that it used to have.

On A Wing and A Prayer

Myrna: Tell us about your book On A Wing and A Prayer where you can they can get your book. Tell us about your website, tell us about your handle on social media, so they can connect with you and, and how they can actually connect with you to learn, sky breath meditation.

Kushal: Sure. The book is available on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. You can get it from my website, the links on my website, it's my first name and last name www.KushalChoksi.com.

Additional Resources

Using Trauma As Your Fuel For Post Traumatic Growth

Life Coaching, Life Coaching Blog, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast

Mindfulness: Training Your Mind to Be Present

February 11, 2022 Myrna Young

Mindfulness, is the practice of training our minds to be, present, moment by moment. When we are, mindful, we are, conscious, of what is happening around us, our environment, our emotions, our reactions, etc. When we are fully, present, or practice, mindfulness, we listen rather than just hear, we perceive rather than just see. Mindfulness, affects everything we do, and impacts every interaction we have with others.

In this episode of 5 mins with Coach Myrna, I teach on the topic of, Mindfulness. Mindfulness, is the art of, being present. It is not as easy as it may seem to become, mindful. As humans we are controlled by automatic programming for over 95% of the time, so remembering to stay in the space of, mindfulness, is also saying to become more, conscious.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10058211-mindfulness-training-your-mind-to-be-present.mp3?download=true

Why Practice Mindfulness

Our minds are really good at shuffling between past, present and future, driven by our fears and desires, memories and imagination. Our minds habitually go from reflecting on the past one moment, to worrying about the future at the next moment, with very little time spent on being fully, present. This behavior is so habitual that we don’t even realize that we are not, present.

For some people, mindfulness, is primarily a way to enhance health or performance. For others, mindfulness, is a tool for self-exploration. And for yet others, mindfulness, is part of a spiritual path, a way to develop insight into the human condition and freedom from suffering.

Regardless of the motivation, scientists find that practicing, mindfulness, is associated with changes in the structure and function of the brain as well as changes in our physiological responses to stress, suggesting that this practice has important impacts on our physical and emotional health that are worth exploring.

How to Do Mindfulness

Mindful, action is connecting the body with the mind. Yoga is one way we connect our bodies and mind through movement to release stored stress and trauma. Mindful Breathing, is regulating our breathing to shift the way we feel, so we can better regulate our emotions.

Mindful Centering, is being aware of what you are thinking about as you think it. Becoming conscious of your thoughts and then using the breath to keep your focus in the, present moment. This allows you to center back in the, present, and breathe when the mind moves into the past or the future.

Focused attention is another, mindfulness, technique. This technique uses the breath to anchor the mind and maintain awareness. Focus your attention on the breath — specifically the rise and fall of the chest — and return to the breath whenever you get distracted or notice your, mind, starting to wander.

What is Mindfulness meditation

Mindfulness Meditation, is an ancient Buddhist tradition that focuses on clearing your, mind, and stillness. You can think of, mindfulness meditation, as training for your, mind, in the same way exercise trains your physical body. Just as there are different workouts you can engage in to get your body fit, there are different types of, meditation, you can practice to sharpen your, mind. One of these types is, mindfulness meditation.

Like its name suggests, mindfulness meditation, involves becoming more mindful of the breath and the sensations in your body as you focus on your breathing. When thoughts come to the forefront of the, mind, you let them float away like colored balloons being taken away by the wind. You do not analyze the thoughts or let them take you into the past or the future, you simply let them come and go without being judgmental about them or trying to figure out what they mean.

Your goal is to become, mindful, of the, present moment, and how your body responds to these thoughts. This allows you to ultimately become less reactive to or overwhelmed by what you’re feeling — particularly when it comes to things like stress and anxiety.

Benefits of Mindfulness meditation

While, mindfulness meditation, may have once seemed like an esoteric practice that only monks or the highly spiritual did, it has now become mainstream. Everybody now knows of the measurable benefits of, meditation. Meditation, has undergone numerous clinical studies that are cluing scientists into the very real benefits this practice has. As it turns out, meditation, is officially great for your, mind and body.

When it comes to the science behind, meditation, different studies have investigated its relationship to a variety of different health conditions. While research remains ongoing, so far, there’s demonstrated evidence that, meditation, may promote an array of positive health effects, including:

A natural reduction in pain levels
Lower blood pressure in people who are at risk of developing high blood pressure
“Help with psychological distress, anxiety, depression, anger/hostility and coping ability,” according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Potential diminishing severity of irritable bowel syndrome symptoms after at least eight weeks of practice
Improved sleep for people with insomnia
Enhanced self-esteem
Possible reduction of widespread body inflammation
Better immune system functioning

On another practical level, mindfulness meditation, helps your body, including your nervous system relax.

How Mindfulness Meditation works

Mindfulness meditation, doesn’t only change our, mindset, and perspective, it actually can change the shape of our brains. Generalized neuroimaging, meditation, studies found that 8 weeks of, mindfulness meditation, also changes our brains, rewiring them towards more positive thoughts and emotions.

Your ability to relax has a profound effect on your bodily functions, and the relaxation, meditation, leads to can lower your blood pressure, improve circulation and lowers your heart rate. You could see less perspiration, less strain in your breathing and lower levels of stress hormones in your body.

One of the biggest benefits of, mindfulness meditation, is mental. Being, mindful, can reduce your stress levels and anxiety and make you feel more relaxed. Regular, mindfulness meditation, becomes a tool you can use throughout your life to boost your mental and physical wellness.

Meditation as a spiritual practice

For many people, meditation is a, spiritual practice. It can allow you to feel closer to God and more connected to your faith. This transcendent state feels otherworldly.

Meditation, may also help kids learn to become more grounded and stable. You should begin practicing, mindfulness meditation, with your kids. Children benefit from the act of relaxing and concentrating. Practicing, mindfulness, can help them with their emotions, stress, anxiety, and feelings, just as it can for adults. Life is full of new feelings for children, and you may see an improvement in your child’s wellbeing after introducing, meditation.

People, meditate, for different reasons. While some do it as a religious practice, others practice for, self-development, a better sense of clarity, or just being still and hearing God. Many hope to feel more balanced and relaxed by lowering their stress levels. Whatever your reason, start by trying a few techniques to see which works best for you. Remember to give it time and have patience.

Many who start, mindfulness meditation, give up because they can’t quiet their minds, but like I said earlier a technique is to let the thoughts come and go, don’t fight them because the more you resist, the quicker they come back. With practice, you will be meditating like the, Buddhist monks, in no time.

Conclusion

So start your practice of being, mindful. Pay attention to your environment, the sensations in your body and start seeing the benefits.

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna. I invite you all to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach for daily life coaching tips and strategies to live your best lives now.

Additional Resources

How to Reprogram your Unconscious Mind

Life Coaching, Life Coaching Blog, lifecoaching, mental health counseling, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast

How to Write Your Own Hollywood Ending

April 25, 2021 Myrna Young

A lot of times if you believe it and pray about it your, Hollywood movie, will turn out exactly the way that you want it to be. If we use our imagination, we can create our, Hollywood ending. Think of that bad job you are in and create your, Hollywood movie, with your own, Hollywood ending with you in your dream job, in your dream relationship and your dream family. First you must have the baseline of, self-awareness, then you use your imagination to write the script. Where do I want to get to, what’s my goal? You are the Director, Producer and star of your Life Movie.

My guest today is Linda Flanders, Author of “Hollywood Endings and How to Get One”

Years ago, my pastor preached a message that when we're born there is a blank page. We have a beginning, and we have an ending and in the middle we are supposed to write our story. We are the director of our life movie, producer and the Star in our, Hollywood ending.

Listen to the full interview Here

Writing your Hollywood Ending

Yes, you can create what you want with imagination an intention. The movie themes the world loves are few and simple; they are the themes that have been portrayed over and over since Hollywood began to make movies. These classics have the most wonderful endings: love overcomes all; good defeats evil; the wayward child comes home. Anyone can be a hero, and everyone has a Guardian Angel.

Hollywood Endings – Using Imagination and Intention is about self-awareness, recovery and enlightenment. It's for anyone who has ever wanted or dreamed of having a “Hollywood ending.” It is for those of us who never had a role model to show us how it's done. It celebrates the wonder of the movies and urges us to see movies once to be entertained, and then return to see them again to learn from them. We all deserve a Hollywood ending. This book can show you how with life lessons from Dances With Wolves, National Velvet, Die Hard, and The Color Purple, to name a few.

Rewrite your own story and give it a Hollywood ending.

Linda has been a, FeldenKrais, practitioner for 30 years and an independent video producer. Flanders and her sister Dr Dorothy Halla-Poe created the, matrix model, an innovative way to work with children's atypical behavior and, learning disabilities. They specialized in using the, filmmaking, process as a learning and teaching tool, focusing on projects that are educational and promote social and personal change.

Myrna – I love the idea of using the, Hollywood movie, and, filmmaking, process as a learning tool to help children with, learning disabilities. Can you share how that works.

Linda – I am a, Feldenkrais, practitioner and have been for 30 years and while that particular mode of learning has to do with learning, self-awareness, and learning through options. I started working with young children who needed physical therapy and occupational therapy; but their behavior was such that they were absolutely out of control and scared the, physical therapist, on the, occupational therapist.

I started working with children behavior focusing specifically on self-awareness and self-control. If we have those two things, we can pretty much guide our own, Hollywood ending. If we do not have them, then we are vulnerable to so many awful things that can happen in our life. If we cannot control ourselves and become the, Director, in our own, Hollywood movie, somebody else is going to control us.

I started using making, movies, as a fun activity with children and what I found was that even with multiple, psychiatric labels, attached to them and very bizarre behaviors, they all listened to the, director, if they played a part in a, movie.

When they had a camera in their face and the, director, said do this; they did it without hesitation. No attitude or behavioral issues. The children also loved watching themselves over and over in their, Hollywood movie. Science has shown that kids watching themselves act a certain way reinforces new neural pathways in their brain of new behavior.

Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

The, Feldenkrais method, is an educational way of learning to teach self-awareness.

Myrna – I understand the behavioral piece in making a, Hollywood movie; but I don’t understand how making a, movie, helps children with, learning disabilities.

Linda – In making our, Hollywood movie, I had them freeze for the camera while I ran around with the camera to a different angle, because that's how a, Hollywood movie, is made.

The children had to be in the, present moment, and they had to control themselves from the inside out. That is the huge piece of, self-control, and if they can gain, self-control, then they've got a better opportunity in school to be able to learn the different topics that they needed to learn.

In making a, Hollywood movie, they became much more aware of themselves and what they could do and what they couldn't do. When they fell apart and got angry or sad or wanted to be the star of the, Hollywood movie, those issued had to be worked out during the filming of the, movie.

Myrna – That’s great and innovative. I hope teachers who are listening will take some cues from you because now we all can make, Hollywood movies, with our cell phones!

Hollywood Endings and How to Get One

Let’s transition into your book. You wrote the book “Hollywood Endings and How to Get One” Tell us what would you like the readers to walk away with after reading your book.

Linda – Absolutely, it is a, self-help book, or a, self-improvement book. It teaches, mindfulness, helps with raising, self-awareness, on topics like “are you happy” “are you content with your job” etc.

The book teaches the science of, mindfulness, of paying attention to the moment, so you are fully present. In the science world this is called, neuroplasticity. Change your brain, change your life.

If we use our imagination, we can create our, Hollywood ending. You think of that bad job you are in and create your, Hollywood movie, with your own, Hollywood ending. First you must have the baseline of, self-awareness, then you use your imagination to write the script. Where do I want to get to, what’s my goal?

Your Hollywood Ending doesn't have to be romantic

The idea of the, Hollywood ending, is not necessarily a romantic one, it could be any goal you have. If you reach that goal that's a, Hollywood ending.

Myrna – When you were talking my mind went directly to the, Hollywood movie, Pretty Woman.

The movie started with the words, Hollywood, where dreams were made, anything is possible in, Hollywood! It ended with the same words.

But in the movie specifically Julia Roberts had a dream. She had a dream of her own, Hollywood ending. She actually told Richard Gere in the movie hey “all the time I was dreaming you about my Prince Charming, I would dream I would be locked up into this room in this castle and the prince would climb up and he would rescue me. Nowhere in my, Hollywood ending, did he say I’m going to put you up in a condo as my mistress.

It's really true, if you've got a goal and you've got a dream of your movie of life having a, Hollywood ending, it's very hard for someone to knock you off of it. Which is why she didn't accept that offer which she said was a good offer for a girl like her.

She had gained, self-awareness, in that whole process of being a highly paid call girl for a week.

Linda – In the book I do explain the three systems of the brain. I’m not a, neuroscientist; but the information's out there, I simply simplified it.

The Brain Systems

The producer brain, because without a producer you don't have a, Hollywood movie. The producer brain is the, reptilian brain, and that keeps us breathing. It keeps our heart beating. So, we don't have a lot of control over that one
The, limbic system, is the home of the emotions and we can live there we can, but we can also get stuck there. You can become a drama queen always reacting to life instead of working in the direction we want to go.
The cerebral cortex, the Director brain. That's where we plan, where we use our own judgment, where we use our common sense, our reasoning.

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There's another movie that Julia Roberts was in called “Sleeping with the Enemy” where she is in a very abusive domestic violence situation. I talk about that movie in my book, because if you can't leave a situation, you can watch that movie and get ideas to leave your situation.

In the, Hollywood movie, she planned her escape. She learnt to swim, she selected her disguises so her husband could not find her, she picked a place that she would live. She imagined her, Hollywood ending. She set all the pieces in order first, then she made her escape and that's what I’m teaching in the book. We could use, Hollywood movies, and our imagination to write our own, Hollywood ending.

Myrna – So you want readers to walk away with the vision that they can direct their lives. They can plan it out, they can be a director, the producer of their own lives, because their life is like a, Hollywood movie.

Linda – Yes, each chapter there is a list of a few things to do. The first one is go watch a, Hollywood movie, but I want you to watch this movie through this lens, so that you're watching the movie from a different perspective. You're gaining awareness from watching that movie. For example in the, Hollywood movie, Die Hard, with Bruce Willis.

In that movie there are places where Bruce Willis is so emotionally distraught, that he's not thinking. He throws some C4 down an elevator chute without recognizing that it's gonna explode and where's that explosion gonna come? It's gonna come right back up the chute into his face. That's an example of us doing something without thinking of the consequences which blows up in our face.

Myrna – I don't know much about movies or directing, but I know as a, Life coach, I always teach that we're the director of our own lives, because we make the decisions and direct our choices.

What is the FeldenKrais Method

One of the things within, Feldenkrais model, is taught through movement. We teach awareness, options and choice, but these lessons are taught through the avenue of movement. One of the classic lessons in the, Feldenkrais, community is called a pelvic clock. It's the ability to get your pelvis moving in all the different directions of a clock. It's better to be able to move a little bit in all these directions than a whole lot just one way, so it's definitely the opposite of one-way thinking.

In my work with children I teach them how to create a clock from clay. They have to make the clock and they have to make the one, two, three, four all the way to twelve. Then they have to make a little person and put the person in the center of the clock. The idea what if you altered your behavior just a little bit. Just a little bit to move to the next number on the clock. Step by step by step. You don’t have to stop doing something just change it a little bit.

It could be drug use, overeating or alcohol in adults. The idea is its okay if you can't completely stop drinking but can you cut back a little bit with awareness. If you can’t make a small change, then you become aware that you have a real problem.

It's this intertwining of movement and thinking with our emotions that get tied up in this knot and through the Feldenkrais method of movement and awareness you can break those up and then make small changes. Transformation comes faster because you've incorporated movement as well as thinking and emotions.

FeldenKrais Method uses movement to achieve change

Myrna – Yes that is the mind and body connection as taught in Yoga.

Linda – If we want to become the director in our own, Hollywood movie, then this is simply a way that we can do it. Shakespeare said that “the whole world is a stage and we're just actors on it”

Myrna – In this day and age everybody's got a camera, people are making big money just recording on their smart phones. You do not need the big fancy movie camera to record your own, Hollywood movie.

Free Feldenkrais Summit

From May 1st through May 10th there is a free online Feldenkrais summit that you want to invite our listeners and TV audience.

It's an international summit, so for those whole two weeks you have presentations that come from, Feldenkrais, practitioners around the world who have taken their work and specialized in it. You can learn about using this method to help with trauma. There is trauma from anyone who is victimized and has been traumatized.

Some have taken, Feldenkrais, into working with world-class athletes and top performers.

Some have taken it literally into working with animals. Linda Tellington Jones can do amazing things with animals.

I took it into behavior, so it could be applied in a whole bunch of different ways.

So, the summit has all these different international speakers. It is literally 24 hours of

Feldonkrais, awareness through movement.

It's all free so it's an opportunity for people to experience the, Feldenkrais method, and break up those muscular patterns so you can feel better. Because when you move better, you can feel better.

Conclusion

In closing a, Hollywood movie, I am going to suggest everybody go watch the, Hollywood movie, Baby Boom with Diane Keaton because in an instant she a New York executive and literally overnight she becomes a single parent of a toddler who had lost her parents.

She took the circumstances of her life and created her own, Hollywood ending.

It you found this content inspirational, Please remember to subscribe and leave a review on iTunes. You are invited to join my private Facebook Group called “Lifecoach”

Additional Resources

Life Coaching, Life Coaching Blog, Personal Development, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast, transform your mind

Using Z-isms and Life Lessons for Personal Growth

January 18, 2021 Myrna Young

A, life lesson, can be defined as something from which useful knowledge or principles for, personal growth, can be learned. When I was growing up my grandmother had a lot of these, life lessons, and principles. One of them was you can lead a horse to the water but you can’t make him drink! Today we are going to be talking about, Z-isms. If you don’t know what these are, download the audio.

Listen to the full episode here:

My guest today is Matt Zinman called a difference-maker, devoted to personally enrich the lives of at least 100 million people by 2025. His new book, “Z-isms: Insights to Live By” is based on his experiences as an entrepreneur, athlete, single parent, caregiver and nonprofit founder. Matt is also the host of “Insights to Live By,” a podcast that invites guests to share their own pearls of wisdom. In addition, Matt is CEO of The Internship Institute, which he established in 2007 to “Make Experience Matter.”

Introduction to Z-isms or life lessons

One of your, life lessons, is about, self-discovery, and mindset. So what are, Z-isms?

Matt – A, Z-ism, is a, life lesson, a filter in how it is that we experience the world around us. One of the which is, mood, health. I think everyone recognizes that pessimism and optimism apply to the very same set of circumstances. If you're having that kind of a down day you could just as well be seeing something differently than if you were having an up day; so recognizing where you are in your, mood, health at any given time is one filter.

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Another principle of, life lessons, is are you staying present or are you caught up in worry about the future. Maybe you're worrying about something that isn't certain to happen or you keep running something through your head that already happened that continues to just spiral and drag you down and change your, mood.

It's important to recognize that you are in the, present moment, and grounding yourself in, gratitude, is very key. Then there's perception itself and recognizing that you may not get it all right; but that is okay. We're not all the best listeners all the time we could be distracted.

Gratitude is the best life lesson for Personal Growth

Myrna – A lot a lot of people start their mornings with a, gratitude meditation, because if you have, gratitude, for the smallest number of things then it is good. It doesn't have to be that your dream job or dream relationship is happening. We all have goals and we all have dreams. You might be depressed because you're not where you want to be in life; but if you can just be, grateful, for what you have now, then you are enhancing your, personal growth.

Louise Hay has a, gratitude meditation, on YouTube that I do a few times per week.

It's really basic being, grateful, that you have electricity, that you have a stove that you can cook on, gratitude, that you have indoor plumbing! Etc. There's so many things that we can be, grateful, for.

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Matt – Your point about, gratitude, is so spot-on right we hear about it so much and there's a reason that, gratitude, works. It's really at that heart of life enrichment. It is the premier, life lesson.

If you do that, gratitude meditation, for just two minutes in the morning and before bed, for 30 days straight, I guarantee it will change your life.

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Beware of the Spiders life lesson

Myrna – Let’s talk about, spiders. One of your unusual topics in your book involves being aware of, spiders. You describe, spiders, as people who manipulate and drain others. Why did you call them, spiders, because I call those people leeches. They suck you, what does, spiders, have to do with draining you? Tell me the concept there?

Matt – Spiders, do have quite a bite. If you really take inventory of the people who were in your orbit, it's pretty easy to go down that list and recognize that person we choose to be vulnerable with. We don't want to put energy into always having to be on guard.

It takes a lot more energy to be devious than it does to be oblivious. For the, spider, they must remember their lies. When you're living the life of a manipulator or devious person, it doesn't come naturally you've got to plan it out.

You really need to tune into your Spidey senses to recognize that someone is trying to get you to do something you prefer not to do; but they know you can’t say no. We talked about people pleasers. They are the perfect person for the, spider, to manipulate.

Myrna – So you call them, spiders, because they suck, they're devious and because they weave webs and set traps, understood.

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Matt – Spiders, are also energy vampires, very needy people who are always around wanting your time and energy.

You really need to take a closer look at that person and decide whether they belong in your inner circle. A, spider, is going to spin a web and set traps for you.

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What kind of, z-isms, or , life lessons, do you coach?

Matt – I usually start with teaching, self-kindness. It comes back to valuing yourself and if you value yourself first, the rest comes naturally. Relying on that guiding principle around, self-kindness, you just cannot go wrong.

Self-kindness, is the is the escape hatch when you are caught in the, spider, web. If you get yourself caught in a, spider, web and you're being manipulated, if think of yourself and think about the wars that you've won and you feel, gratitude, or all these things can power you to change the situation.

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Conclusion Z-isms Life Lessons

Myrna – What can readers get from the book after they've read it?

Matt – I want my readers to understand earned confidence and become aware of, spiders, and things around them

energy management,
entrepreneurship,
concepts around inevitability to a degree the law of attraction
and gratitude in life.

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Whether you believe in the law of attraction or not, it has less to do with it as it does acting on things that come your way.

I tell personal stories throughout the book on the, life lessons, I have learned that I think will resonate with readers.

Additional Resources

7 Strategies to Personal Growth

happiness, How to be happy, Life Coaching, lifecoaching, Personal Development Podcast, Podcast

How to be Happy with Less

November 23, 2020 Myrna Young

What does it take to be happy? We live in a culture where, happiness, is largely based on external forces – like what we get and what we achieve. And when our life conditions don’t match our expectations, we experience pain and fear, we suffer. But imagine what it would feel like to create a constant sense of inner peace and freedom, and live each day in a beautiful state of, happiness.

Listen to the podcast here:

What’s preventing you from, happiness, and living a life of peace and joy?

Do you believe that others make you happy or are responsible for your, happiness? I used to think so. Until I realized that the definition of, happiness, is true. Happiness, is moving in the direction of your goals and dreams. So because my, happiness, comes from my thoughts and actions, I take away the responsibility of my spouse, friends, co-workers being responsible for my, happiness.

I encourage you to Discover what’s holding you back from being happy. Tap into finding inner peace through meditation and mindfulness that you can use to start living in the, present moment. Happiness, is only found in the present moment. Not in the future or the past. This is the time to sit with your feelings of, unhappiness, pain and regret and maybe find the lesson in them.

Once you sit with pain and, unhappiness, and not try to mask it with drugs, food or any of the things you do to not feel your pain, you can step into the unknown, and allow life to unfold in the beautiful way it is meant to.

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-find-happiness-in-2017/

How to be Happy in life, in the present moment

One of the ways I live in the, present moment, is I become aware of the little things that is taking away my, happiness. The small irritations like my husband not answering the phone when I call or my kids leaving the house and saying where they are going.

Learn, how to be happy in life, in the, present moment. No one is responsible for your, happiness. If you live in the present moment then the hurts from the past can't bother you. I remember when Jennifer Gardner was being interviewed about the betrayal of Ben Aflac. He had cheated on her and they were separated and there was a big scandal. Jennifer tried to stay in the, present moment, and be thankful for her 4 kids. She also said that Ben was not responsible for her, happiness. She alone is responsible for her, happiness.

Great lesson because when we give our power away, people will always trample on us. Life gives sand life takes away. The trick to, happiness, is not to be attached to the outcome.

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

How to be happy in life, by relaxing and releasing

When I feel the, unhappiness, or irritation coming on me, I practice R&R relax and release. When you feel that unwanted frustration you relax breathe deeply and release blow it out. Breathe deeply and blow it out through your mouth.

I learnt this in therapy. When a situation makes you, unhappy, and you don't attend to the hurt or pain. We stuff it down. We are not aware of what we are doing but we are hard wired to move away from pain and move towards pleasure, so when we feel pain or, unhappiness, we run from it.

So we self medicate with drugs, alcohol, food, sex, or whatever is around. In that way, we bury the pain. Whenever something is in the vicinity of this pain, we feel this tension in our gut because that is where we stored this pain. We begin to be, unhappy and we are not even sure why so we again stuff it down with drugs, alcohol, food and sex. We never want to feel.

To stop this cycle. Whenever you feel this feeling. Don't try to stuff down instead relax into it. Feel the pain, sit with it. Then breathe. Breathe to relax into it and then breathe it out. Try it next time some external situation makes you, unhappy.

5 Ways to Radiate on the Happiness Wheel

How to be Happy in life, with Less

In the, pursuit of happiness, material things such as money, a big house, fame, or fancy cars do not make us happy. Instead we need to first love and accept ourselves to be happy. Money or fame magnifies our, unhappiness, because now you are not sure who your friends are and you become obsessed about keeping this wealth.

How to be happy in life, with less is learning to find happiness in relationships, with family, with health, with being alive.

Daily habits to find, happiness

Smile. You tend to smile when you're happy. …
Exercise. Exercise isn't just for your body, it is for the mind. It releases endorphins for, happiness.
Get plenty of sleep, serotonin, the feel good hormone is released during sleep. That is why we are bitchy and, unhappy, with lack of sleep.
Eat with the, pursuit of happiness, in mind. …
Be grateful. Gratitude is the forerunner to, happiness. You can't be, unhappy, if you are feeling, gratitude
Give a compliment – giving a compliment makes other happy and that is turn makes you happy. Happiness, is serving others.
Breathe deeply. – breathing deeply releases tension in our muscles and relaxes the body.
Acknowledge the unhappy moments – don't try to stuff them down or ignore them. They are already here. Acknowledge them and let them know you see them and that this too shall pass. You will be able to look back at these moments and laugh one day.