Fixing the root and not the fruit. You can’t change the fruit without changing the root. Fixing the root, means we must change our, limiting beliefs, to have the desired fruits. The fruits of life are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
You may have heard the phrase, external locus of control. That is when your happiness is derived from events outside yourself.
Today I want to talk about an, internal locus of control. That means fixing the root vs fixing the fruits. Putting our focus on beliefs, our roots not our behaviors, the fruit.
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Fixing the root: your limiting beliefs
In other words, If you want to change the visible, you must first change the invisible.” If you want to change the fruit, you must plant a different seed.
We will look at both of these phrases today because we want to, fixing the root and not the fruit.
Internal locus of control, means that control comes from within. You have personal control over your own behavior. When you have an, internal locus of control, you believe you have personal agency over your own life and actions. Because of this, these people tend to have more, self-efficacy.
If you have an, internal locus of control, you will not let people push your buttons. Firstly, let’s look at people finding our soft underbelly and deliberately pushing it to get a reaction from us. We’ve all had our buttons pushed to the point where we feel we can’t take it anymore. The button pusher may or may not be aware that they are exposing your unresolved hurt or trauma, but the truth of the matter is that the buttons belong to us, and we are the ones who must deal with what comes up. The more we take responsibility for our own feelings and reactions, the less tender these buttons will be.
That is why, fixing the root, and not the fruit is important
Fix the root of the problem
When you, fix your root, and be at peace with yourself you will find the peace that defies all understanding that Jesus preached about.
The button pushers will stop trying to get a reaction from you, the bully’s will stop trying to make you feel bad about yourself etc.
For the longest time my button was my age. I understand why that guy called Lebron James old. He is a button pusher. He was pushing Lebron’s buttons not sure if Lebron James was ruffled by that or he was secure in his roots. I have fixed my roots on my age issue. Change the way you think of a thing and the thing you think of will change.
So, fixing the root, will have you worrying less about your fruit. By fruit I mean your behavior when someone is nasty to you, call you names, or pushes your buttons, you can just respond by saying that is me. I accept it or that is not me and I reject that. I am not letting that stick to me.
Internal Control Personality Characteristics
Here are some characteristics we get after, fixing the root.
- Hard working– always putting in effort to achieve goals
- Confident – recognizing the skills and knowledge required to overcome challenges
- Physical healthy – considering it their active obligation to eat healthily, partake in regular exercise, and remaining diligent in keeping up with medical appointments
- Responsible – holding themselves accountable for successes and their mistakes or failures
- Positive – feeling happiness, peaceful, and relaxed about the future because increased control over life leads to minimal stress
- Independent – not relying on others for success
- Studious – valuing knowledge and the skills it contributes to overcome obstacles
- High self-esteem – respectful of oneself and confident in abilities
External Control Personality Characteristics
When we don’t, fix the root, here are the fruits we will reap.
Those with an external control also display a particular set of personality characteristics.
- Insecure – not confident in their own abilities and continually doubting they can accomplish difficult goals. Low self-esteem.
- Dependent – reliance on other people for tasks they are capable of doing without assistance
- Hopeless – feeling emotions like “what’s the point” or as if any response to a life event is futile
- Passive – resigning effort to surmount challenges because their actions won’t make a difference in the outcome
- Indecisive – events are not analyzed to the fullest causing difficulty to make concrete decisions