Tag Archives: science of happiness

How to be Happy: The Happiness Formula

Are you Happy? Today Dr Ahia, Psychologist and I discuss, How to be Happy. Their is a mathematical formula for, happiness. H=S +C + V i.e. means Your happiness is based on your set point.  What are the conditions that make you happy. Are you choosing to make the voluntary choices to make to be happy.

The, happiness formula, is a mathematical equation on, how to be happy.

  • What does it take to be happy?
  • To answer that question you have to understand your blueprint for, happiness.
  • Your blueprint is the story you have in your head about how life is supposed to be.
  • The most popular archetype is the blueprint that says you have to be successful to find, happiness.
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Here is a Test to see your Capacity for, Happiness:

  • What is an area in your life that you feel happy about?
  • Then ask yourself, why are you happy with that area?
  • You could find, happiness,  in your body, your marriage, your career, your friends, your finances, your kids, your relationship with God etc.
  • If your Life Conditions or LC match your blueprint for, happiness, you will find, happiness,  in this area.

Let's pick an easy one to see, how to be happy, I am sure you know people who are happy with being overweight.

They find, happiness, with their body because their blueprint says,  Big is Beautiful.   They love being Big.  You may also know someone who is a twig and they feel fat. You become unhappy with your body when you step on the scale and it is different than your blueprint for, happiness, with your weight or body.

  • While you are in this space you can also get clarity on why you are Unhappy with some areas of your life.
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The Happiness Formula, How to be Happy

  • Happiness, is defined as a feeling of contentment, that life is as it should be. Perfect, happiness, comes when you have all your needs met according to your blueprint of what life should be.

 

  • Here is the formula for, Happiness

  • H=S +C + V
  • Happiness is “H”
  • S – Set point or genetic capacity for happiness
  • C- Conditions or circumstances of living
  • V – Voluntary choices

 

  • Your Set point or core belief is both genetic and environmental. Do you see life as an opportunity or do you see life as a problem?
  • Your set point for, happiness, is determined in the first 3 years of life by parents or caretakers. Your neurons mirror your parents. If your parents were always criticizing each other or playing the victim; that's what you grow up to be. A critical person always seeing the glass as half empty instead of half full. You feel victimized by life. You blame the system for your lack of, happiness, in life. You feel you were born on the other side of the tracks.
  • On the other hand If your parents were happy, then you grew up thinking that life is a place for service and to look for the silver lining under every cloud. Never being the victim because victims have no power. Your set point on, how to be happy, if pretty high.
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Can you find, Happiness?

  • Your set point represents 50% of your, happiness, so if you have a negative set point, you are always fighting an uphill battle.
  • Fortunately, your set point for, happiness, can be changed  through therapy?
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The second factor in the, Happiness Formula is your capacity for happiness or your Life Conditions “C”

  • C = Conditions of living – conditions of living represents 10 -12% of your, happiness. For example If you are extremely poor you can't be happy because your basic needs are not being met and your poverty becomes a source of stress.
  • There is a movie I saw years ago called the, Happiness, movie. It showcased people in India living in very poor conditions, earning something like $100 per year and they found, happiness.
  • How to be happy,  they had love, they had family and since poverty is what they knew from birth, their blueprint for, happiness,  was different than someone born into wealth.
  • Do you know poor people who are happy? I am sure you do.
  • When your Life conditions don't match your blueprint that is when you suffer. Stress, depression, substance abuse this is the doorway they enter from. Not always but most times.

 

The next leg on, How to be Happy,  is “V”

  • V = Voluntary Choices. These are the choices you make every day =these choices represent 40% of your, happiness.
  • If your choices are all about personal pleasure then your, happiness, will be transient.
  • In the US the #1 choice for personal pleasure is shopping
  • #2 is alcohol and  food
  • # 3 sex
  • When you make choices for personal pleasure your, happiness, lasts a few days or a few months at best. If you are trying to find, happiness, by acquiring things like cars, clothes, houses, jewelry.  The, happiness, lasts a few weeks or at best 6 months then it is no longer a source of joy.
  • This is the same for alcohol, food, drugs, sex.
  • Lasting, Happiness, does not come from external sources.
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  • If you are suffering in your marriage, your relationships, or anything other than your health, you can change your blueprint and find, happiness. If you feel you have no control to change your Life conditions, that is when there is pain.
  • You can change your set point through meditation and expanding your consciousness.
  • If you don't like your conditions of living or your body, change it. It is in your control. If you don't want to change your conditions then you must change your blueprint.
  • When I first got married my husband and I fought constantly. We had different blueprints of what marriage was supposed to be. We are still together today because we both changed our blueprints. Most couples end up in divorce court because they refuse to change their blueprint of what it take to find, happiness, in a marriage or after a divorce. 
  • Instead of making the choice of personal pleasure, spend your money or time on experiences like vacations, adventure, entertainment, being social with friends etc. Creating Good memories make you happy.
  • The fastest way to, happiness, is to give others attention, appreciation, acknowledgment, affection, or acceptance.
  • Before you make choices, ask yourself would this choice make me happy? Will it make others happy? You cannot find, happiness, making others unhappy.
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Additional Resources The Happiness Formula

How to Heal Your Brokenness

Understanding How to Use Reiki Energy for Mind and Body

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-secret-to-living-the-life-of-your-dreams/

Positive Psychology and the Science of Happiness

 

 

5 Ways to Radiate on the Happiness Wheel

Happiness, cannot be seen or touched,  it is Spiritual. In the, pursuit of happiness, we all want to be on the, happiness wheel. Why do we all want to be Happy? Because everybody wants, happiness.

The healing influence of being on the,  happiness wheel, travels literally at the speed of light. Like a single inspiring thought that goes out on the internet and reaches millions of people in just a few hours; being on the, happiness wheel, multiplies exponentially … Replacing chaos, confusion, and conflict with order, clarity, and peace.

There are two types of, happiness:

  1. The first kind of, happiness, comes from things turning out the way we’d like them to. This is known as, happiness, for a reason. You are on the, happiness wheel, because life is good. We say, “I’m happy because I have a family and friends,” or “I’m happy because I am in a relationship,” or “I’m happy because I’m going on vacation,” and so on. This kind of, happiness, is inherently fleeting because it depends on external reasons that can be taken away from us at any time. Although we tend to avoid thinking about it, we can lose our friends, our job, our savings, our health, and our loved ones at any time.
  2. These are temporary, external sources of, happiness, that come and go like a passing breeze. But, a real, happiness wheel, can only flow from the inside out. It cannot be achieved by depending on people, things, employment etc.

Happiness Film

In the movie “show me the money” Tom Cruise made popular the phrase “you complete me” I know it sounds good and we all would like to know that someone feels that way about us; but someone else cannot truly complete us.

Only God is our source of true, happiness. He promises to “never leave you or forsake you.

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So how do you radiate on the, Happiness Wheel, from the inside out?

As a Spiritual Life Coach, I have researched the following ways:

  1. Laughter – Laughter is a symptom of spirituality. Laughter is the flow of love coursing through your body. Laughter is the nectar of present moment awareness. Invite more laughter into your life and relish the magic in every moment.
  2. I am a very happy person. I have massive amounts of energy, I laugh frequently and smile naturally all the time. Once in a while something or someone would knock me off my, happiness, perch; but I don't linger there. I immediately seek out  my Happy place. Remember the movie “Happy Gilmore”?

You can't be your best if you are not in your happy place.

Places to Find, Happiness

  • Taking a walk in nature, either on the beach or in the park. When I lived in Toronto, and it was cold outside, I would take a drive,
  • Watch a funny movie and laugh till I cried,
  • Read a love story.
  • You have to know your happy place and go there often.
  • When you play and laugh with abandon, you enter into the present moment, which is the only place where you can experience happiness.

Sources to Radiate Happiness on the, Happiness Wheel

Unconditional love – Love is a spiritual emotion. Physiology has a truly alarming statistic that states that if a mother gives up on a child he or she becomes truly lost. If the entire world gives up on him or her the child would still have hope; but if the mother is still supporting him, regardless of how many people write him/her off, that child can change and turn his or her life around.

That is why God hard wired unconditional love into mothers. The Disney movie Maleficent does an awesome job with this theory with the love of a mother substitute! The message, the only true love is the love of a mother! I love Angelina, she is my hero. When you love unconditionally, you access your spiritual realm and, radiate happiness, from the inside out. The object of your love is able to feel that love and revel in it.

Unconditional love on the, Happiness Wheel

When we don’t practice unconditional love, we experience pain, doubt, and unhappiness. We can't get on the, happiness wheel.  Love isn't a capricious emotion but is a state of being. It is an experience of unity with all creation. In spirit we are pure love.

We don't have to search outside ourselves for love, because love is our essence.” David Simon

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Meditation– Allows us to tap into your own inexhaustible source of inner peace, fulfillment, spiritual development, personal development and self- awareness. The essence of meditation is experiencing our innate wholeness, the unity of our body, mind, and spirit. True, happiness, is an internal state of consciousness that allows us to be happy for no reason at all.

We score high on the, happiness wheel. It is independent of the circumstances, events, people, and things in our lives. This happiness comes from the realization that our true self isn’t our body, thoughts, emotions, personality, possessions, accomplishments, relationships, or any other time-bound attribute. Our essential nature is pure, unbounded consciousness, also known as the field of all possibilities.

The attributes of this, happiness wheel,

  • include happiness,
  • love, timelessness,
  • compassion,
  • creativity,
  • wisdom,
  • silence,
  • and grace.

Replace Fear with Love – One of the clouds that obscure our innate state of, happiness, and block our spiritual awakening is unnecessary fear and anxiety. This fear is a negative emotion that causes anxiety, inflammation and pain. The root cause of this fear.

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Fear causes us not to be on the, Happiness Wheel

Some of the symptoms of fear are:

  • afraid of rejection,
  • failure,
  • intimacy,
  • embarrassment,
  • abandonment,
  • loss,
  • the unknown,
  • being judged,
  • being alone,
  • losing control,
  • expressing our true feelings, and so many other things.

Spiritual Life Coaching can help you release the grip that fear has on you by expanding your awareness to the pure potentiality of your true self and nature, which is infinite, whole, and unbounded.

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Become Conscious – In my book “Becoming Conscious, My Awakening” I write about becoming conscious of my spirituality, becoming conscious of Synchro-destiny, a term this is used to label that every moment is as it should be, and that there are no coincidences in life.

Everything is preordained. When you accept this fact, then you will live more in the moment because you realize that in this moment is where miracles happen. The bible says “seek and you will find” if you look for the miracles of life, you will find them and then you will radiate on the, happiness wheel, from the inside out.

Just as a radiant sunrise can be hidden behind the clouds, our inner, happiness, can become obscured by constricted awareness, limiting thought patterns, and emotional turmoil. Yet no matter how long we have been lost in fear and limitation, we can learn to rise above the clouds of conditioning and awaken to the source of happiness within us.

 

Additional Resources 

How to be Happy: The Happiness Formula

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

 

How to Find Hardcore Happiness and True Success

How to Find Happiness After a Tough Year

 

How to find happiness, after a tough year, your circumstances could be bad. You could have gotten a divorce, you could have lost a job, you could have lost a loved one.  Can you find, happiness, after a loss? In the, pursuit of happiness, guru's teach that, happiness, could only be found on the inside, so we can be happy regardless of losing a loved one, losing our job, a sickness, or divorce.

But the question is portable because we can add anything after the, How to find happiness,  after….! We can add, How to find happiness, after my kids leave home, or, how to find happiness, after someone close to me dies, or, how to find happiness, after I lose my job etc..
We can substitute any phrase.

Happiness, comes from the inside.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness,   is the universal goal of everyone who has breathe.

Let’s look first at the relationship you have with yourself.
Self-love is so important to, happiness.
You have to try very hard to love yourself. If you can't love yourself no one else can love you.
If you can't love yourself you can never be happy.
You can start by finding one thing about you, that you love.

God knew what he was doing when he created you. Everyone has at least one thing that makes them stand out.
Find it and give it love every time you look into the mirror.
And if there is something you can change, Change it. If you can't change it, find a different perspective on it and learn to love it.
You can change your weight, your hair color, your teeth, your wardrobe.
You can’t change your height, your skin color, your sex!
There is no sense whatsoever about being unhappy about something you can’t change about yourself or about something you can change; but won’t.

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How to be Happy

I just saw one of the most inspiring movies of the decade. Hidden Figures.
As a coach, this movie had so many nuggets.
1. The women were ambitious and they took control of their lives. They did not sit around and blame their skin color.
In one scene, one of the women was bitching that in order to get a promotion she had to upgrade her education.
The problem was that the only school she could do this at was an a white’s only school. So what did she do?
She petitioned the court to change the school to an integrated school. She researched and presented her case to the judge with such passion that the judge had no choice but to grant her the motion.

In another scene, IBM computers were going to make the woman computers obsolete, so the leader of the group took it on herself to learn how to program the computer. She had to steal the programming book from the white’s only library because the colored library had no such books! That is the, pursuit of happiness, working towards a goal.

There is always something you can do to improve your circumstance.

You are either part of the solution or you are part of the problem.

I covered the other 2 ways to find, happiness, in the video.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you.
3 And your relationship with God.

As you can see relationship is key!
We are social beings, we need connection, even if it is with one person.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

How to find happiness in life

I would like to end this post with this story.
I was searching the internet for a story on, Happiness, and I came across this movie called Finding Happiness by Yogi Swami Kriyananda..
Yogi Swami has Ananda colonies all over the world where people live in harmony and higher consciousness in nature.
Ananda means true joy is within.

Yogi Swami choose to build his colonies in nature because being in the presence of beauty is important to uplifting consciousness.
As you all know the East teaches the importance of meditation.
Meditation allows you to find your sense of security inside, it allows you to find your sense of self inside and when you find these things inside of you, you can never lose it because no one can ever take it away.
The Ananda colonies teaches that if you live to be happy, you will find things that make you happy and the number one thing that makes us happy is selfless service to others.

I also added a bonus audio on “How to control your thoughts”
As you know that, happiness, comes not from what people do to you or your circumstances but how you think about it.
So your internal dialog and your thoughts must be controlled and channeled into positivity and gratitude for you to find, happiness.
I urge you to find all the things that make you happy, and do them.

Find the things that make you happy, make it a necessity to be in nature at least once per week!
I guarantee..
You will not only find, happiness, but you find your bliss!
Namaste

Additional Resources

 

How to be Happy: The Happiness Formula