In an age where, beauty standards, and the pressure to conform are omnipresent, the quest for, self love, and authenticity remains a journey that many grapple with. The conversation between life coach Myrna Young and Isabelle Miller, a model, content creator, and, social media influencer, sheds light on the nuances of building a robust, social media presence, while nurturing, self love. In this podcast we delve into the heart of these themes, exploring the interplay between personal growth and, digital influence.
Self-Love Beyond Beauty Standards: Embracing one's uniqueness and rejecting society's narrow definitions of beauty is key to personal fulfillment.
Growing Social Media Influence Authentically: Consistent, high-quality content, collaboration, and being true to one's brand are crucial for gaining followers.
Dealing with Negativity: Maintaining self-esteem in the face of criticism involves a mix of ignoring negativity, engaging constructively, or blocking unhelpful feedback.
Embracing Self Love Beyond Social Beauty standards
In the world of fashion and beauty, adhering to traditional standards often prescribes a narrow path to success. But as Isabelle Miller poignantly highlights, finding prosperity as a model while standing only five feet one inch tall challenges the preconceived notions of the industry's, beauty standards. Echoing this sentiment, Miller states, “I am who I am and I love it. I refuse to accept rotten fruits in my basket.” Her journey as one of the, social media girls, emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and the rejection of societal pressures that seek to dictate one's self-worth by their, beauty standards.
Through Miller's narrative, we uncover the reflection of, self love, as an act of resistance—a belief that true beauty isn't a metric but an essence that defies standardization. This perspective compels us to rethink how we perceive and value ourselves in a world that often favors uniformity over individuality.
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Cultivating a Social Media Following with Integrity
Social media platforms, have become arenas where influence is currency, and as Isabel Miller's experience demonstrates, growing an audience to over a million followers is no mean feat. Miller shares, “Quality over quantity… consistency is super important.” She stresses the significance of creating content that resonates personally, sparking authentic connections with her audience.
Her success story is characterized by persistence, collaboration, and an unyielding commitment to, personal branding. As an aspiring, social media influencer, she navigates the digital space, Miller's insights serve as a blueprint for building a sustainable and impactful online presence without succumbing to the temptation of fitting into a pre-defined mold. The takeaway is clear: carve your niche, be persistent, and your unique voice will find its audience.
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KiaraAngelica studios presents First Lady's the Genesis. Come and witness the genesis of an era. Three pastor’s wives are consumed with the problems they're each facing within their individual marriages and churches. It isn't until one of them reaches her breaking point that these first ladies who are strangers to each other unite to lift their sister in Christ up.
Meet us at the Sewell Cultural Center located in Marietta Ga, on March 1st for an evening show or March 2nd for either a matinee or evening show. God will be glorified in this production & strong themes will be covered, please visit
You can also visit https:// kastudios.co to follow us on social media for all updates regarding this production.
We’ll save you a seat at the show!
First Ladies of Genesis
Beauty standards: Managing Negativity and Criticism in the Public Eye
An inevitable aspect of heightened visibility is exposure to public scrutiny and unwarranted negativity. Isabelle's handling of negative feedback because of social media, beauty standards, offers concrete strategies for anyone in the public eye—ignore, engage, or block. That is part of her, self love. She advises against internalizing external judgments, urging instead to consider the source and intent of the feedback. “It's up to us to give them chances or not give them those chances,” she asserts, advocating for self-preservation over appeasement.
Miller's personal policy of eliminating “rotten fruits” from her life underscores a profound understanding that self-respect must prevail above all else, especially when navigating the treacherous waters of, social media, engagement. These strategies can not only protect one's mental health but also safeguard the authenticity of one's, personal brand, and, brand image.
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Leveraging Authenticity and Self-Respect
Isabelle Miller's conversation with Myrna Young offers a glimpse into the intertwined nature of, self love, personal branding, and confronting negativity in a social media-driven world. Her experience echoes a truth pertinent to anyone looking to leave their mark: sustenance of, self love, and integrity forms the cornerstone of enduring influence.
By embracing our individuality, persistently sharing content that aligns with our true selves, and managing criticism with grace, we open ourselves to genuine connections and personal growth. As we look ahead, let these insights nurture our relationship with ourselves and with our audience, reminding us that the journey to self-acceptance is as transformative as it is liberating.
Additional Resources
Chapters
Timestamp
Summary
0:00:02
Introduction to the episode and guest, Isabel Miller
0:01:52
Tips for gaining a large following on social media
0:05:20
Overcoming challenges and rejection in the modeling industry
0:09:40
Balancing professional and self-taken photos on social media
0:11:16
Discussing the process and challenges of creating content for YouTube
0:14:20
The impact of big YouTubers on aspiring creators
0:15:14
Importance of supporting small and casual creators
0:16:10
Journey towards self-love and acceptance
0:16:24
Dealing with negative comments about appearance
0:17:51
Ruthlessly eliminating negativity from life
0:19:00
Holding people accountable for their actions
0:19:45
Importance of self-confidence and not tolerating negativity
0:22:20
Negative comments even for beautiful individuals
0:23:31
Defining self-love and its significance
0:23:47
Loving oneself beyond negative comments
0:24:18
The false sense of self-righteousness in online criticism
0:25:06
Envy and projecting inadequacies onto public figures
0:26:51
Handling negative comments on social media
0:27:33
Discerning valid criticism from baseless feedback
0:28:12
Don't believe negative comments, respond or ignore
0:29:30
Overcoming low self-esteem and negative thoughts
0:31:26
Breaking mental boundaries and limited mindsets
0:35:01
Enjoying self-expression and connecting with others
In this post, Brandi Mechele debunks 4 commonly-held beliefs about fulfillment and success. Brandi shares that if we can loosen up our grip on these beliefs, we can begin to experience more fulfillment and success in our lives.
Brandi is an intuitive and empowerment coach who spends her time guiding others and facilitating energy healing focusing on building the subconscious capacity. She has extensive experience working with high achieving female entrepreneurs, helping them align with financial success while staying through to their values and purpose. Her clients might initially come to her to scale their business and make more money, but they leave with a deeper sense of fulfillment within their lives on a holistic level.
Myrna: Can you share your backstory, what led you to begin this work? When did you notice a lack of fulfillment in your own life?
Brandi: I was raised as many people are to be very goal oriented. My parents were amazing in helping me to chart my course and set lots of goals, and I was very fortunate to be someone who excelled at many things; so, I had an impactful career in the corporate world. I escalated to being a VP covering the United States and Canada. I was a national caliber athlete in college and tried out for the Olympics and so I realized that I had checked all these boxes. I live in an amazing city, in a home of my dreams with a family. I had always had this idea that if you checked all the boxes, achieved all your goals that happiness would be kind of the outcome and unfortunately that's just not true.
I think many people come to realize that they've had the success that they've dreamed of and not been able to align any of with this inner fulfillment and inner purpose, and so I took a step back and said you know what's missing. I concluded that happiness needs to be its own goal, it needs to be its own purpose in your life, and that when you focus on happiness as a goal versus an outcome, that's really when you align with your purpose and find and find true fulfillment.
That's when I took a pivot in my life and got to the place where I am here today with you.
Myrna: I've heard this story so many times, in fact my very first coaching client when I became a coach was someone with a similar story to yours. She wasn't looking for happiness she was looking for this inner fulfillment and she quit her job and became a coach because most people get more fulfillment when they serve.
I want to circle back to when you said that happiness shouldn't be an outcome of a goal that happiness should your only goal. I can't leave that alone so how do we how does someone listening set the course to have happiness be their goal?
Brandi: I believe fundamentally that when you have high Achievers that it's really easy to make happiness a goal because they're used to aligning to goals and really knocking it out of the park. So through my own work with myself which took place over many years prior to becoming a coach, developed a four-step process that I call B.A.S.E and I think it's foundational to everyone's life.
B – is about beliefs. What beliefs do you have? Especially the ones that are limiting in nature and how have you gotten to that place as it pertains to happiness. The reason I use happiness versus fulfillment is because I think that you have to be happy to be fulfilled. If you're not happy, if you're fulfilled you'll always be happy and if you're unhappy you'll never be fulfilled.
So happiness is oftentimes easier for people to align to than fulfillment because fulfillment feels so big like what is my purpose, what am I meant to do. But if we think of life as these moments and every single moment we're seeking happiness and ultimately we'll live this really full life that has a sense of purpose, has the service that you mentioned.
So the B really is about like what are those beliefs that are precluding that from happening.
Are in alignment for happiness
A – is alignment, vibrational alignment. What does happiness look like to you like oftentimes you ask people that question and they just don't know, they're like I don't know what makes me happy. They might think you know if I get married I'll be happy, if I have a big house I'll be happy, it's usually types of goals.
What does it take for you to be aligned? So we spend some time around that and then self-awareness really because ultimately we are co-creating our reality in every single moment. I think oftentimes we talk about manifestation as this idea of like I'll manifest a husband, a house, weight loss. I'll manifest all of these things, but when you take a step back from that and realize that your entire life is a manifestation not just the good things and then you really take back your own power.
S – Self- awareness because we create situations that pulls us out of homeostasis. We return to that same place over and over again and so that's really what the self-awareness allows us to do, because once we create awareness we can move out of searching to really having kind of this path to our our destiny.
E – is about, emotional regulation, and that really is the biggest of them all, any moment of unhappiness is really correlated to this origin story that we have. Emotional regulation, is a term generally used to describe a person's ability to effectively manage and respond to an emotional experience. There are times in our lives when we were probably really little where we were given these ideas about who we were. Our identity and how we showed up in the world and oftentimes we're looping around those situations. It can be Big T trauma it can be Little T trauma, but the goal is really to keep the memory of our experiences of our childhood.
So I believe that B.A.S.E is foundational to our lives and once we are able to harness kind of those four pillars we're really going to Skyrocket from there and live a life that's a good path
Myrna: I love it but as I'm listening to you I remember I've done lots of episodes on happiness including the happiness formula. Everybody's end goal in life is to be happy and you're right it's a little different from fulfillment.
Fulfillment vs happiness
Brandi: I was happy, I had the husband of my dreams, I had this beautiful child, I'd won many many awards in my corporate career, I always ran sales teams and I never finished below the top 15. So I had this body of work that was everything I ever dreamed of, I was a little girl from Detroit so I didn't have this idea that my life could be so big and so vast.
I sat there in my happiness and I said but there's still something missing.
Myrna: That happens to so many successful people. You said in your bio that people come looking for money because they believe it will bring them happiness but find fulfillment instead.
Brandi: Success doesn't equal happiness.
Myrna: I'm reading a book now by Eckhart Tolle called The Power of Now and Then in there he talks about goals. Goals in clock time and psychological goals. Clock goals is just saying by the time I'm 30 I'm going to be married. That means that your happiness or fulfillment is tied to this goal. A, psychological goal, is always moving. The target is always moving so that's that's one way to put it, but you hit the nail right on the head. Happiness is fleeting.
Beliefs and self worth
Myrna: How do you teach your clients to find this happiness end goal?
Brandi: B.A.S.E is the foundational practice around beliefs. Two of the beliefs you have to have is that you are worthy of having the life that you're seeking, and so say to people all the time that if you show me your life, I'll show you what you think you're worthy of having. So self-worth is like really pretty straightforward.
Myrna: So let's circle back to a couple of things, you're correct self-worth and self-love they're two big things that we package them together here for Simplicity; but self-worth and self-love is what the what has been communicated to them and it's usually in childhood or early adulthood. Somebody looked at you and and called you ugly and you carry around this beliefs that you are ugly all your life.
Those are great practices to build your happiness capacity as well as you know building your your self-worth and your self-love so so that's awesome all right so let's focus a little bit now on um some of the, limiting beliefs, that, black women, have that stops them from feeling fulfilled?
Brandi: Specifically in communities where black or brown communities you'll find that you have three generations that are in the same Financial circumstances. Nobody breaks out and I believe one of the reasons to show us about mindset is because in order for you to break out you have to have a different mindset, you have to have a different set of beliefs.
Having the right mindset for success
You have to have the mindset of I want to be successful. It's all about mindset and when you get the mindset right then you start challenging the beliefs. You're challenging beliefs that says women can never do this.
Myrna: I was born poor and I know what a, poverty mindset, is. If you have a, poverty mindset, you really can never be wealthy because even if you have the money you'll still be rich with a, poverty mindset. My whole work, my whole philosophy is about changing your mindset because once you change your mindset, you can have your dreams become a reality. The Bible teaches do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Conclusion
Tell us about your B.A.S.E coaching program and your framework. How can listeners get in touch with you talk about your website your social media handles.
Brandi: I appreciate that Myrna, I publish a free journal on the first and 15th every month and you can find that on my website www.brandimechele.com I am just on the precipice of launching a group coaching program and you can also go to my website and sign up there to be informed about that group coaching. If you were interested in working with me one-on-one or with the membership coaching and then if you were interested in working with me one-on-one or in the group you can also find that on my website so and all my handles are @Brandi Mechele on Instagram as well as on Facebook so I'd love to connect with your listeners and hear from them.
Please sign up for Brandi's 4-week program & her container program here:”
Matheo Galatis teaches how we can connect to our, inner guidance system, to know ourselves and to find, who are you, your beliefs systems inherited from your, genetic patterns. Once you know, who are you, then you will be able to use the, law of Attraction, to get the things you want in life.
Matheo Galatis founder of the, Know Yourself teachings, aimed at supporting you to cut through the confusion in the, personal development industry, and learn about the hidden dynamics that affect your life. He has trained over 200 professional coaches, was a director of a coaching company in South Africa, worked in organizations such as Oracle stratus, South Africa, Mars, Africa and clients from 27 different countries, ranging from successful CEOs, political and public personalities, executives, coaches, trainers, therapists, and entrepreneurs.
But they are mistaking the, personal development industry, to a whole new level by supporting people to find what he calls your, transformational why. The one thing that usually prevents people from getting, unstuck, and achieving their desires.
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We develop our belief systems from genetic patterns
Myrna: That's an awesome Bio. It seems that you are in the work of service helping people to get to know them selves again. What was your journey to becoming a teacher of, personal development? How do we pick up these, genetic patterns?
Matheo: Essentially this is what happens. To know, who are you, and, know yourself, I explain in quite a bit of detail the different ways we take on stuff from our parents and the generations before. It can happen through observation. When we're growing up, we have certain experiences and we observe our parents, we start mimicking what our parents do.
So, that's one way, but it runs even deeper. Our parents, sometimes they have something unexpressed in themselves, a dream or maybe an emotion that's suppressed. And they've suppressed that, they push it down. Now what happens is when they conceive a child, the DNA of the supreme shun or the suppression is obviously encoded into the gene, because everything is according to the gene.
The gene knows there's a, suppression, and that gene goes into the child and the child now has a, suppression. Now the job of the, suppression, sharing is not to be there. The purpose is when something's suppressed, it's suppressed momentarily or temporarily moved and at some point in life it needs to be expressed in words.
For example, if someone has a, suppression, at a very young age and they don't process it, its hard for them to know, who you are. They don't work through the short stays inside the system, it's frozen inside the, muscle memory, in the, subconscious mind, of the brain. And what happens is they continue living with us. Now if they don't deal with it in their lifetime, that's obviously restoring the genes and is going to get passed on to the next generation.
Children don't do well at home, they don't become aware of it that's gonna get passed on, so we have something in our evolution that is already in inside of us to help us with, traumatic patterns. Some emotions are blocked, so when children are born later on life at some point they are triggered and that's what pushes the buttons of the parents.
When children start behaving in ways the parents don't like, I call the parent control we think wow my child is out of character. The child is not actually out of character, the child is just mirroring or expressing things that the parent doesn't want to see inside themselves and haven't processed within themselves.
Children will start acting out bringing forth, subconscious patterns, from their parents. A, guidance system, is your, spiritual journey, where you've got like a router or an angel or your higher self, and they're communicating with you. I like to call this the, inner guidance system, is the connection to your, true self, and finding out, who are you.
Your, guidance system, helps you connect to your, true self, when you're not connected to your, true self. When you're connected to yourself, you're able to distinguish in an instant, what is true and right for you versus what is not. In an instant, there is no debate in the mind. There's just a sense of yes or a sense of no. And it's not happening from a fear. It's not happening from a desire, it's happening from this, inner knowing.
These, beliefs, are part of our, belief system, there are, family patterns. So, an example with a, belief system. If you have a, belief system, I'm not worthy, how do you behave? If you're very insecure how do you behave? The other way is to trying to cover up the perceived unworthiness and show that you're worthy. The, belief system, I'm not worthy is a persona which is not you, it's just a, belief system.
This belief of unworthiness can develop into a, people pleaser. I'm a, people pleaser. The, people pleaser, that person owner's a person has developed in order not to feel the unworthiness.
Myrna: I get what you're saying a lot of times they say the extroverts are covering up some some deep down feeling as well that's why they need to be the life of the party.
Okay so alright so what we're talking about though is our, inner guidance system, and, knowing yourself. What you're saying is you let people understand that the personality that they're projecting to the world is not real. And you help them to connect to their, inner guidance system, to know themselves.
Letting your inner guidance system uncover who you are
Matheo: Right. So that's what I mean by, inner guidance system, is that you have a an innate intelligence telling you what's true and right for you right now. It tells you, who you are.
Myrna: So talk about whats behind, beliefs. I know we talked about that a little bit, but maybe we can expand on it a little bit by because you said, belief systems, are difficult to resolve. So so let's go with our example that we're talking about this person that, you know, doesn't feel that there were any.
So when you go into the training and coaching, you help them understand to peel away those layers and understand, who you are. They're maybe not feeling worthy because of something they inherited or maybe something somebody said to them 40 years ago, or whatever, you need to peel that back. But why do you think it's difficult for someone to resolve that specific, belief system?
Matheo: It is challenging working with a, belief system. A, belief system, was created a long time ago so around up to the age from conception up to the age of seven, eight years old our, belief systems, about ourselves and about life and about other people are formed.
How we perceive the world is being created, so this is at an age where the brain is just absorbing everything that is happening in the world and making associations. But a lot of people might rarely even get to that, belief system, because they're dealing with other, belief systems.
I developed a belief of I'm shy or a persona I'm shy. And because this happened at two years old, I grew up as a shy person, knowing that oh, I'm just shy, I'm just a quiet person, so I'll become an accountant and an auditor. Yeah, because I'm shy. So, who are you? Are you shy or an extrovert?
Train yourself to connect to your emotions, train your souls to connect to your body, so that you know how you feel at any time, whether it's good or bad emotions doesn't matter, connect to them. Allow yourself to have these emotions, because that's how you're going to go down into the, beliefs, and into the other aspects that are hidden inside of you.
And that's what we want to identify and remove what's hidden. Because when you remove what's hidden, then you start to become more and more free.
Myrna: And that's how you, know yourself, and find out, who you are. This is what we're talking about here. I had a short stint with a therapist. I talked to her for about a month or so, and one of the things I got from those sessions was not to stuff down my feelings but to catch them and breathe into them.
This has been an incredible conversation to highlight your skills highlight what you do for people. And I will tell you there's so many people that are walking around don't know, who they are. I don't want to use I use the word broken, but people become broken from past traumas. So what you what you're doing is phenomenal. Tell us how somebody can sign up or how you offer this training.
Matheo: The teachers that came before me and many researchers and scientists know that the subconscious runs our life. We're able to to retrain and recondition the subconscious, but doing it the correct way is important. We have to uncover what's causing In the subconscious mind to dictate our lives. So I put together the, Know Yourself teachings, and this essentially explains step by step how finding out, who you are, works, how thoughts become, beliefs, how emotions work.
Using your inner guidance system to find out who you are
Emotions, are like a garden system, we go in and out gamify. Not listening to your, inner guidance system, does not bring you back on track.
Myrna: So explain how our, internal guidance system, works when we're not listening to our own, inner guidance.
Matheo: I go through the five different ways that we take on stuff from our parents, help clients realize that there was are many patterns running their life. Many of them was the specifically looking at the, family patterns.
When we talk about the, renewing of the mind, it is not simply about changing or adjusting how you think, but renewing your sense of, self-consciousness. Renewing your mind, impacts your conscience, which is your sense of what is right and wrong. It impacts your heart, which in Hebrew literature is the center of your being.
Renewing your mind, runs much deeper than simply making confessions and changing how you think upon a thing. Apostle Paul teaches “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind”
Pastor William L Glover speaks on the biblical principles of what God meant when He said “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
Pastor Glover just completed a powerful series on, renewing the mind, it was a four part series, you can watch the full series on the Mount Hermon Ministries YouTube Channel. But today we're going to pick some of the important pieces of that, renewing your mind, series to share with you.
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Dr. William L. Glover is the Senior Pastor of Mount Hermon Ministries. He also oversees the Dew of Hermon Early Learning Center and is Campus Director of Life Christian University at Mount Hermon Ministries. He has a strong mandate for Education, Missions, Leadership Development, Justice Ministry and reaching the lost for Christ.
Having ministered in nine different countries on 29 international trips, Dr. Glover is an anointed teacher, preacher, and international speaker. He has assembled ministry and medical teams that have seen thousands of souls saved and thousands more received desperately needed medical care. His passion is to reach the globe, but God has fashioned his heart in the shape of Africa.
Through Mount Hermon Ministries, he is very involved in reaching his community through educational empowerment. He is a founding board member of L.I.F.E (Lee Interfaith for Empowerment), a Network of Congregations committed to finding solutions to systemic justice issues in Lee County; is an Executive Board Member of Healthy Lee, a group of faith, business and health professions committed to inspiring healthy life styles, and chairs the Religious Affairs Committee of the local branch of the NAACP. Dr. Glover is also Co-Founder (with Pastor Cheryl Glover) of Redeeming Influence Community Outreach, a non-profit that serves blighted communities.
Dr. Glover has earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Bible and Theology from Southeastern University (formally Bible College), a Master of Arts degree in Religion from Florida State University, a Master of Education degree in counseling from Florida A & M University, and his Doctor of Ministry degree in Theology from Life Christian University.
Dr. Glover is also the author of the three books: Justice: God, Nations, and Systems, which examines the role of faith in addressing systemic justice issues which plague the systems of men; 30 Days of Excellence, a daily devotional that focuses on cultivating a culture of excellence in Faith, in Speech and in Life; and Ready for the Harvest, a study on how to release the principle of seedtime and harvest into your life.
Book: Ready for the Harvest Transform Your Mind Podcast
Dr. Glover is married to Pastor Cheryl Glover. Four wonderful adult children enhance their lives: Brittney, Jade, Jana and William II. Dr. Glover credits God for His demonstration of goodness and continues to trust in His faithfulness throughout his Pastoral Ministry.
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Myrna – My first question to you Pastor Glover is why did why do you think God wanted you to preach on, renewing your mind?
Pastor Glover – that's an excellent question Myrna. I ended the 2020 year with a series of messages entitled, living in your redemption. The idea being that God had already paid the price for redemption and that he's redeemed our lives from destruction.
Whatever destruction has occurred in our lives, be it:
personal,
financial,
relational
emotional
mental
God has already invested in the price to redeem and restore us from that destruction. That message was received so well that I began to contemplate well how do I get people to embrace that, mindset, and the, renewing your mind, messages were born. If a person can hear something, but if it's not internalized and if it's not received, then it's not going to have an impact on their lives.
So that series of, renewing your mind, messages was born out of that realization of moving people from the point of where they are, to living in the redemption and, renewing their minds.
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Myrna – you talked about the three different parts of the, mind, that God wants renewed.
Can you share with us the three different parts of the, mind?
Pastor Glover – Sure there are different aspects to each individual sermon, but the broad overview is the reason the, mind, is important is found in the wisdom literature. Scripture reveals that the, mind, is connected to and influences:
our psyche
our conscious
and our heart
When we talk about, renewing of the mind, it is not simply about changing or adjusting how you think, but it impacts your sense of, self-consciousness. It impacts your, conscience, which is your sense of what is right and wrong. It impacts your heart, which in Hebrew literature is the center of your being.
So, renewing your mind, runs much deeper than simply making confessions and changing how you think upon a thing. Apostle Paul teaches “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the, renewing of your mind”
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One is internal and one is external. It impacts our, psyche, our consciousness, and our heart. So it is the, transformation, of the total person, the total being.
What is the Flexible mind, the Fluid Mind and the Fixed Mind?
We need to have a conversation about what kind of, mindset, you are working with.
Is your, mindset, flexible?
Is your, mindset, fluid?
Or do you have a, fixed mindset? Which could be good or bad depending on what it's fixed on.
When we talk about the, psyche, the, psyche, being your sense of, self-consciousness. Why do we need, renewing of your mind, in your sense of, self-consciousness? Because it's our sense of awareness, our sense of, self-worth. It also is our mental and emotional health, so if your, mind, is not flexible, you need work in your sense of awareness.
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Some people who are not self-aware or there's some people who suffer from, low self-esteem, or there's some people who are damaged mentally and emotionally. If you don’t have a, flexible mindset, which means pliable then you will resist God doing the eternal work in your, psyche, to, transform your mind. So, in order for, transformation, to occur you have to have a, flexible mindset.
There can be no, transformation, if you're unwilling to change.
The Fluid Mindset
Conversely a, fluid mindset, means that you are evolving, you are open to change. If you don’t have a, fluid mindset, you internalize and have what some call “stinking thinking.” You have a toxic, mindset, about yourself or about people. For instance oftentimes when people experience hurt in a relationship, they'll say I’ll never trust another man again or I’ll never trust another woman again.
So, if you don’t have a, fluid mindset, you're not willing to let that hurt go and embrace truth.
The Fixed Mindset
The third, mindset, you mentioned was a, fixed mindset. Just like when we lay concrete, we have to do the work before the concrete sets, because once it sets it's fixed. So, we have to be careful what we let set in our minds. We have to do the work while the concrete is fluid and pliable.
A, fixed mindset, is like set concrete.
Renewing the mind, is like renovation of a house. You’ve got to rip out things, knock down walls or beliefs before you can put in the new things or new learnings.
When we're inviting God to, transform your mind, then we have to understand our, psyche, our, self-consciousness, and our heart. That's why the, mind, is so important because it is connected to all of these aspects of the human person and they're all interrelated yet distinct.
Myrna – Someone with a, fixed mindset, like concrete why did you say that God can use this person?
In the, Life coaching, world, when we talk about a, fixed mindset, we're saying that there’s no growth in this person. But if your, mind, is set like concrete, is it possible for it to be changed?
Pastor Glover – Well yes but again you must have awareness of your, fixed mindset. You can get at that concrete two different ways. Through, transformation, which speaks to internal work that has to be done. The word, transformation, comes from the Greek word metamorphosis and so that speaks of going through a, transformation, but it starts from the inside out.
The other word that's used is, renewing, which literally has to do with renovating. When concrete sets, the only way to change it is to get a jackhammer and that's very painful work. People oftentimes will not choose to do that work, because it is painful, noisy, and messy. But if you're going to lay a new foundation in your life, you must do the, mental, emotional and spiritual work to jackhammer a, fixed mindset.
Myrna – How can God jackhammer to change that, fixed mindset?
Fixed mindset in marital relationships
Pastor Glover – I think an example in the context of, relationships, particularly in the context of, marital relationships, a lot of work that has to be jackhammered in counseling sessions really has to do those, fixed mindsets, about marriage that have been set, but are toxic and are not healthy.
Couples have very different ideas about the foundation of a, marriage, and what it should be about. It is really about how men and women are socialized in our society. Young girls are socialized towards inter interdependent relationships. That's means they play together, they share much more readily than men do. They are invested in group success as they are reared and everybody kind of having a good time.
Boys are socialized totally different. They are taught to stand on your own two feet, be independent. Be a man, don't share your emotions. So, men are much less equipped than women in, marital relationships, to handle a, fixed mindset, that's why women are 10 times more verbal than men.
One of the fun exercises I like to do when I’m dealing with, communication, is I’ll ask the man and the woman to get a sheet of paper and have each one writes me all the feeling words they are aware of. The woman's list is four times longer than the man,
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I’m curious though you also say in your message that God can use a, fixed mindset.
Pastor Glover – When you lay concrete, it's properly set, it is suitable for what you want to build on it. So, let's pull in this conversation, purpose and destiny. If you have great purpose or great destiny, you have to take the time to lay the foundation. If your foundation is fixed, God can build on it.
People do not take the time to factor in the type of foundation they need to lay to accommodate their dreams and visions of what they want. That can be applied to anything, in my book “30 Days of Excellence” I teach that excellence is in the foundation that you lay for, purpose and destiny.
Be ye not conformed to the world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Why did God say that do not be transformed to the world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind?
The World is Battling for your Mind
Pastor William L Glover – Because it is all a battle for the, mind. This simple principle is found in Proverbs.
“As a man thinketh so is he”
Your, mindset, determines the reflection of who you are and it determines who you will be.
We would never be greater than our thoughts about things.
We would never rise above our thoughts about things.
We will never allow ourselves to be pulled beneath our thoughts about things.
Our thoughts reflect where we are going.
It's a battle for your, mind. The world we live in today, people don't want to do the work, to think for themselves. There is professional, think tanks, and these, think tanks, think for people and feed them what to believe, what to say.
They all are vying for our, minds, we don't tune in to learn anymore from the news, we tune in to determine what we need to think. So, hence “do not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the, renewing of your mind.
That, transformation,
happens through the word of God,
that transformation happens through your relationship with God
that transformation happens through a community of faith like-minded believers who are committed to growth.
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Your, heart, which is the center of your being, the seat of your soul and this is important because wisdom literature teaches us that we should guard your heart for from it flow the issues of life.
Everything that matters, that's important to us impacts our, heart. If the, heart, is injured, broken or unhealthy because the, heart, plumps the pumps the blood. The, heart, pumps the influence of that thing to your spirit and to your soul and to your body.
So, when we talk about the, transformation, then it's holistic and God is always at work in our lives trying to move us to a place of wholeness in all three of these areas as it pertains to renewal and, transformation.
As we wrap up how can listeners connect with Mt Hermon Ministries Fort Myers? Tell us about your books and how we can connect on social media.
You can connect with our ministry, we are currently streaming on YouTube and Facebook at MT Hermon Ministries. You can join us Sundays at 11 a.m. you can go to our website.
The justice book which is about your community of faith finding relative relevance as a
change agent in your community
30 Days of Excellence which is a 30-day devotion that cultivates habits of excellence in your life and
Ready for the Harvest which teaches us how to apply the principle of seed time and harvest in our lives and all these can be found on Amazon.
You can contact me personally at dr.wmglover0613@gmail.com
My Spiritual Father Helped in the Renewing of My Mind
I enjoyed the conversation, so thank you like we've known each other for 14 years let me also state how proud I am of you forging the way. I remember when you began this journey and witnessing your evolution and growth. Witnessing how God is enlarging your territory, makes me very proud. I want to encourage you to continue that journey.
Myrna – Thank you Pastor and I’ll share something publicly with you that when I wrote my book and you said that you're proud of me, it brought tears to my eyes because it was the first
Time someone told me that. My father had never said he was proud of me.
As my spiritual father thank you so much for saying that I appreciate it. God sent me to you specifically I didn't share our story of how I came to be under your guidance, but our connection has a purpose.
Thank you for tuning in to the Transform your Mind to Transform your Life radio podcast and television show. If you are um listening on iTunes I would love for you to subscribe, rate and review. I also want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach.
We all know that children from zero to seven are all like little sponges, downloading everything. This is when the, mother wound, gets started. Mothers, are nurturers if the child is not getting nurtured, they fail to thrive.
I want to say that I personally have not had a, mother wound. My, mother, and I are pretty close. I'm the eldest of four children and my, mother, she's actually my best friend. But I understand the pain from the, mother wound. I adopted three children from the, foster care, system who were heavily wounded by their, mothers. They all had, abandonment, issues so, I experienced firsthand how the, mother wound, affected every aspect of their lives.
The girls became promiscuous with men and boys, wanted friends and have people like them. Also because of the, mother wound, they were not being able to bond with me or my husband, because another bi-product of the, mother wound, is, attachment disorder, so the adoption was not successful in integrating our families.
My guest today is Keri Hummingbird, author of “Love is Fierce: Healing the Mother Wound. If you or anyone you know need healing from, mother wounds, this is the episode for you.
Listen to the full interview here:
Introduction
Keri Hummingbird Sami is a soul guide, shamanic healer, award winning author and inspirational speaker. Kerri has over 20 years of experience in helping women rewrite the story of their lives through inner transformation, connection to essence, remembrance of purpose and realignment to authenticity and truth.
Myrna – Kerri what was your relationship with your mother like? Were you wounded by your, mother?
Kerri – Myrna even though your personal experience with your, mother, from your vantage point is very healed, which is a beautiful gift, there is like an ocean of not healed women on the planet. Having a, mother, as a life preserver who knows how to love is so beautiful and really pivotal because everything that happens in our early life, starting from the moment of conception is being recorded.
Starting from the moment of conception in the mother's womb, babies are being formed in the, consciousness, of the, mother, it can't be any other way. You're inside the, mother, you’re being formed by the, mother's, beliefs about herself, beliefs about the world, ancestral traumas that are unhealed; all of it goes inside of our ancestral DNA in our very human bodies.
Your Communication with your mother starts in the womb
Just imagine that the voice that you speak to yourself with it starts forming when you're being formed inside your, mother's womb, so however your, mother, speaks to herself is how you start to learn to speak to yourself. If the, mother, is not confident or if she's had sexual traumas or if she does not believe in herself that's going to influence your development. If the, mother, believes in herself, if she's strong, if she's vibrant then you're getting that. You're getting that training inside as you're growing inside her body.
They've proven now that babies are able to perceive outside the womb, they're able to perceive not only what's going on inside the, mother, but also the outside environment. Babies can perceive things, they can hear voices, a vibration happens they can feel things, they sense things.
So, the beginning of education in earth school starts from the moment of conception. We all know that children from zero to seven are all like little sponges, downloading everything. This is when the, mother wound, gets started. Mothers, are nurturers if the child is not getting nurtured, they fail to thrive.
If a child is not being nurtured by the mother they develop a mother wound
If you experience a big loss like an, abandonment, early in that zero to seven age range, that's hugely impacting. Anywhere along your development from zero to twenty-one, anything that happens is going to be huge for you, because all of your various bodies are getting developed.
Your physical body is getting developed first, then your emotional body is getting developed then your mental body is getting developed, then your spiritual body gets developed until age 28, so all of these bodies are being formed. Everything that happens in your life experience is like creating the context of your life, the inner context.
Myrna – In this moment anyone who is a, mother, should take that role seriously. It's a big responsibility. Before I got into this consciousness space and this self-improvement space I would hear them talk about the men or women who are in prison and blame their parents. It all starts with their, mother wound.
I always thought it was a big old blame game, but now I know it's true the, mother wound, develops into so many unfortunate situations.
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Kerri – I want to reassure every, mother, because when I started learning about the, mother wound, I started going to self-judgment. I look at oldest child especially how his life rolled out. He's really struggling with this and that and I was struggling with the same things while he was in me. I had a lot of, mental health, challenges that I’d been working on when I was pregnant with him at 30.
I had already been working on it for 15 years from the time I was 15 years old because I had early, childhood trauma, so I was trying to heal and I thought I had it all together and then he came into my womb.
This happens to a lot of, mothers, because you get pregnant and then your whole physiology changes. Any traumas from your childhood comes right up to the surface. You start having, postpartum depression, or other things and you're like why is this happening. I was really excited to have this baby. Why am I going through, postpartum depression?
Having a baby, it's like the big purge. One of the reasons for, postpartum depression, is not dealing with stuff from your past or not dealing with your, mother wounds. Psychology makes an effort in helping, mothers, to cope with this kind of thing. I even invested in psychotherapy.
I would sit there every week and like try to work on myself.
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How the mother wound affects your romantic relationships
Myrna – If you're abandoned by your mom or hurt by your mom, the, mother wound, it's very hard for you to love yourself, then you can't really be in romantic relationships.
You have to remove the subconscious programming that says you are not good enough and learn to love yourself. If you can't release the, mother wound, and love yourself, you will continue to struggle in romantic relationships. You must gain control of your life as it deals with this issue of the, mother wound?
Kerri – I think that subconscious holds the keys to all of it because if you think about this concept of the iceberg submerged in the ocean. The part you see above the water is the conscious mind, but there's so much more underneath the surface.
There's so much to explore about your own consciousness to understand yourself better, so that you can show up even better.
You didn't choose to be molested , you didn't choose to be abandoned, you didn't choose to be hurt by your, mother, and have a, mother wound.
According to according to Dr Wayne Dyer‘s teaching he says we chose our parents, because we needed that experience in order to do what we have to do in this earth.
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My journey in psychotherapy helped my understanding of why I had a, mother wound. The home I grew up in from the time I was five years old, was very solid. My mom and my dad worked as a team. I didn't always like the things that they told me I had to do, but they were caring, they were loving and attentive.
We had three-way hugs in a supportive family environment. We went sailing on the weekends, we had a nice life. So I was like, why am I so screwed up? I had this feeling that something got broken inside of me from my early childhood, because I knew that there was trauma from zero to five years old.
It was a big trauma. My mom married a man who was probably not suited to be a dad. He had his own trauma story from his own childhood of being abused by his mother and left outside of hotel rooms while she slept with men and things like that. He was abandoned in hotels for days, so we had all these traumas he was working through.
Unresolved Wounds from your childhood affects your ability to parent
My, mother, started noticing that there was a really good possibility that he was going to molest me. I want to give my mom huge props, because many, mothers, stay in a situation like that afraid to leave, but my, mother, was a warrior of love. So left and found the next best pathway and that was my first step father.
My first stepfather was a violent drunk, so it was very traumatic. So by the time I was five after four years with this violent step father, we moved and just by chance met my second stepfather who I call my dad. He is the man my, mother, has been with for 45 years until he passed away three years ago.
Spirituality is the path to healing the mother wound
I started my spiritual path and for me that was the opening because it taped into beyond the mind, it taped into the body where a lot of trauma is stored. Many people know trauma is stored in the body and it taps into the emotional body. When you're a child and you're seeing these scary things happening, you don't have words to talk. You don't have language.
As an adult, you have to go deeper into the body, the somatic experience. You have to go into inner child healing, and make friends with all these aspects of you and become their parents. It's really about re-mothering yourself and the re-mothering process takes some time because
of those early conditionings.
You have to stay in the conversation of love and kindness and gentleness long enough for it to start to sink in, and for these aspects to heal. Along that journey all kinds of modalities might happen for you. I found mine in a shaman. Somebody told me they got healed by a shaman and I was like sign me up.
What are men's role in healing the, mother wound? A lot of times men add it to the damage that the, mother, started and then the men compound the, mother wound.
Kerri – Men can help by healing the mother wounds inside of them, because all men were boys and they came out of a, mother, so that's why the solution is the, mother, because we all live in a, mother, to begin life. So, in order to heal we all have to walk back to the, mother.
Your relationship with your, mother, and the programming of love that you received from your, mother, is also your trust in your connection with the divine and earth. It's a multi-dimensional conversation, because whatever lack of trust you have with your biological mother, that same lack of trust can show up in your connection with the divine, in your connection with the planet.
If you're disregarding your body, you're probably also disregarding your impact on the earth.
Why did you write the book “Love is Fierce: healing the mother wound”?
Kerri – My book uses my personal experience to illustrate various points that are very common across humanity so, there's a lot of themes in the book that talk about why it is that we are in the situation we're in right now. Why we have so much war and conflict, misunderstanding and divides between people. This is because of the breakdown of the matriarchy. The breakdown of the feminine and how a lot of the patterns we see are derived directly from breakdown of that primary relationship with the, mother.
I had to go through the deep inner work to write the book and to reveal the patterns, but honestly I've been working on this project my entire life.
Myrna – I understand, you had 20 years in psychotherapy. This project allowed you to heal your, mother wound, and also heal the, mother wounds, of your children.
Myrna – Where can our listeners connect with you get a copy of your book? How can they connect with you on social media and your website?
Kerri- They can connect with me on my website www.kerrihummingbird.com
On the website there is a link to sign up for 17 days of interviews on the return of mother wisdom, which I find to be really inspiring. I interviewed all these women and they have these beautiful things to say about where we're going with humanity on the earth.
You can purchase the book on amazon and then you can take your confirmation number over to www.motherwoundbook.com (receive 17 days of interviews for the Return of Mother Wisdom Series)
I also have a podcast called the Soul Nectar Show, I hope you're going to come and be a guest on the show.
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