The Circle of Life: Embracing Motherhood

Circle of life: Motherhood

Keshia Morris Desir, my daughter and mom to be interviews me on motherhood.  In my book Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement I talk about motherhood and how being a mom is my purpose.

Download the podcast here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://verifi.podscribe.com/rss/p/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11999211-the-circle-of-life-embracing-motherhood.mp3?download=true

Bio

Keshia Morris Desir has a blossoming career in DC. She is an activist working in DC to disrupt the over criminalization of communities of color by investigating and exposing the underlying causes of mass incarceration through a democracy lens.  Getting incarceration money out of politics, and advocating for guaranteed voting rights for everyone, including people serving time in prison. But today she is speaking as my daughter about becoming a mother. She is entering into the second trimester of her first pregnancy.

Keshia: I am super excited to be here with my mother today to interview her on her book, Out of the Snares: A story of hope and encouragement and her chapter on, motherhood.

The very first question I have for you, mom is in your book, you share a bit about the, circle of life, and how your parents were not married when you were born. So, for folks that haven’t yet read the book, can you share a little bit about that experience?

Sponsored Ad

Are you ready for transformation! Is 2023 the year you are going achieve your dream then checkout

DreamBuilder® LIVE Virtual conference
January 27-29, 2023
3 days of transformation from the comfort and safety of your own home! Discover new depths of Mary Morrissey’s life-changing teachings on the proven, reliable, repeatable system for creating a life you absolutely love – faster and easier than you ever thought possible.

You will learn how to
Create extraordinary results in your life with the proven, reliable and repeatable 3-step system of ‘dream building’: BluePrinting, Bridging & Building.

Connect with a powerful online community of thousands of other dream builders, from all around the world, working together to create a vision-driven life.

Release your feelings of fear, doubt, worry, insecurity and unworthiness that’s holding you back in this challenging time – and replace them with the clarity, confidence and a prosperity-focused mindset that will propel you toward your goals and dreams.

https://www.bravethinkinginstitute.com/evg/life-transformation/events/dream-builder-live/

And sign up for this life changing event.  Click the link on the show page blog.myhelps.us
DreamBuilder Live Virtual Admit

January 27-29, 2023

This event will give you A set of tools, strategies and mindset techniques that will help you create transformation in every area of your life… for the rest of your life!

https://www.bravethinkinginstitute.com/life-transformation/events

Mary Morrissey DreamBuilder

My circle of life started with poverty and child abuse

Myrna: Yes, I would love to. Out of the Snares, is basically my story. It’s the story of me getting out of the snares of, child sexual abuse, poverty, being born in a third world country. And, of course, being born to parents, or who were not married. My mom and my dad hooked up and had sex and I showed up. They weren’t even really in a committed relationship. It’s one of those things that happened. When I read Oprah’s story I found out that her parents also hooked up just one time and created her.  We were both born for a purpose.

So, I pull that in to my experience, that I was born with a purpose. On that rainy day, all those years ago in Guyana, my mom was alone when I was born because my father was not around. And I feel that coming from that kind of nurturing environment, where my mother was my central figure or my central person. For a long time, it was my mom, it was my grandmother, it was my aunt. These are the people that kind of raised me and as I got a little older, my father came back into my life.

But yes, I learned everything that I know about, motherhood, from my mom and my grandmother and my mom is an amazing mother. She has four children, and she basically single handedly raised them all on her own because the men were not around. She was that unfortunate, the men kept leaving. Your dad and I broke up when you were five years old. So, I have been the most influential person in your life and I took that very seriously.  So, that’s basically my introduction to, motherhood.

Sponsored Ad

I have always wanted to do composting.  I see my brother doing it but I have always thought it was too much work!

Then I got a Lomi! Lomi allows me to turn my food scraps into dirt with the push of a button. Lomi is a countertop electric-composter that turns scraps to dirt in under 4 hours in express mode. There’s no smell when it runs and it’s really quiet. My plants took a beating from hurricane Ian so I have been using the grow mode in my Lomi to get composting dirt for my plants.  The grow mode takes 24 hours.

The beautiful thing about this is that it allows me to be eco-friendly. Since I got my Lomi, I throw out way less garbage. That means it’s not going to landfills and producing methane gas. Instead, I turn my waste into nutrient-rich dirt that I can feed to my plants.

If you want to start making a positive environmental impact or just make clean up after dinner that much easier, Lomi is perfect for you. Head to LOMI.COM/TRANSFORM and use the promo code TRANSFORM to get $50 off your Lomi. Food waste is gross, Lomi is your solution!

lomi-kitchen-composter
lomi-kitchen-composter

The connection between Single mothers and delinquent children

Keshia: As you were speaking, I’m thinking about my work.  And I’m thinking about what usually breeds or is usually the crux of, black families, being involved in the, criminal justice system. Thankfully, none of your brothers and sisters have been involved in the, criminal justice system, and I just want to know, what do you what do you attribute that to? Because often we do hear of, black families, that come from, quote, unquote, broken homes where fathers aren’t in the picture.  They get involved in crime, they go down the wrong path, they get involved in the, criminal justice system, somehow. So, what do you attribute your family success to?

Myrna: Excellent question. And I’ve thought about this a while now, not in Guyana, because we left Guyana as children. So, we weren’t old enough to get into the, criminal justice system, in Guyana. But when we were living in Toronto, Canada, we actually lived in the projects. And I have always wondered why my siblings didn’t get involved with the bad crowd.  I’ve always wondered about that and the only thing that I can come up with was that my mother loved us and we didn’t want to disappoint her. I was speaking to her a couple of weeks back. And it was really interesting what she said. She said to me, you know, I had yawl, and I took any job because I had yawl to feed!

Keshia: Thank you for sharing that mom, it was really helpful to hear that feedback. It was just something that I was thinking about. I’m just gonna turn it back over to you. I think you have something a poem that you’d like to share.

Sponsored Ad

This podcast is sponsored by Journy: Plan Life & Self care App. Journy is a personal growth organizer/planner that lets you save goals, personalized notes on categories of learning and improvement, easily watch educational content across a spectrum of categories to bolster your knowledge on a deeper level.

There are also routines in the app to help with planning and organizing.

Journy was developed by a US military veteran who wanted to help people struggling with PTSD regain a sense of control over their lives, but it can be used by anyone for personal growth, self-care and mental health. The App helps everyone maintain a sense of control, through organization, personal development, and self-care.

Download Journy: Plan Life & Self-Care App on Apple or Google Play Store or visit  www.journyapps.com

A portion of your monthly or annual subscription will be donated to refugees in need as well as providing scholarships to send kids and teens to Space Camp.

Journy: Plan Life & Self care App
Journy: Plan Life & Self care App

Motherhood my baby girl is born

Myrna: Yes. Right. So, in my chapter on, motherhood, I start off my book talking about the, circle of life, continues where I was born, and then I dived right into, motherhood, because it was something that was very important to me and made me feel so special. I have two biological children. I was 21 years old when my son was born, and then you my daughter was born on my 30th birthday. So, because she was born on my 30th birthday, she was a girl and a lot of women always want little baby girls. You know, I was tickled pink, in fact, it becomes more special than that. She was conceived for my honeymoon.

So, I came back from my honeymoon, and a couple of weeks later found out that I was pregnant. The immediate response of me learning that I was pregnant was joy. I mean, I didn’t know the sex until she came out. But we had a connection from the very beginning. So, in my book, I actually wrote a poem that I want to read to you guys. It says,

Poem my baby girl is here

My greatest blessing showed up on my 30 birthday,

A bundle of joy for born to this world

Six pounds, seven ounces of joy, my birthday gift. Oh, what a toy.

I little girl with curly brown hair, smooth black skin, with the face of an angel.

I shed a tear it was a love affair at first sight.

She reached through my heart and grabbed my soul forever more.

God had given me the desires of my heart, a daughter to adore.

Bird sang, trees swayed, the sun shone brightly, and the heavens opened up and poured out rain.

My baby girl was here. Keshia, her father whispered welcome to my world.

And her mother answered, Glory be to God, let her light shine brightly.

Let her be a delight.

Sponsored Ad

Do you feel overwhelmed with an invincible feeling of sadness?

At Meditative bliss, we will help you overcome the inexplicable stress you get from the boring routine chores and attain the solace and inner peace your soul has been yearning for.

This innovative medium will be a source of the most peaceful and relaxing free music.

Get ready to experience a euphoric treat for your spirit at meditativebless.hearnow.com

Visit us on YouTube and Spotify anytime.

Meditative bliss, serene your soul!

https://meditativebliss.hearnow.com/

 

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/meditativebliss777

2. Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/meditativebliss777/

3. Twitter – https://twitter.com/BlissMeditative

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Myrna: See, I spoke it into existence, you have been a delight. You have been the gift that keeps on giving. A lot of mothers and daughters have special relationships, but we have a relationship that everybody talks about, and it’s absolutely amazing.

Keshia: Wow. It’s been a while since I’ve heard that poem. I have a jacket on but if you could see my arms, I probably have goosebumps. I just hope to repeat that, I am heading as you said, into my second trimester. And I have a similar due date as our birthday so yeah, we should be hoping for three peat.

Myrna: Yes, yes. From our mouths to God’s ears.

Sponsored Ad

This episode is sponsored by Living the Tao: Spiritual Podcast
Do you want to embrace the wonder of the Tao? Journey inward to journey outward? As he has done for decades, Taoist Master Mikel Steenrod talks about the path of spiritual freedom and down-to-Earth, everyday living well in this podcast series.

Most podcasts are from people that are fans of Taoism, and appreciate the Taoist classic, Tao Te Ching, which is one small part of Taoism. This podcast is from a Taoist Master that has been talking about the daily practice and exciting ideas of Taoism for over twenty years, and is just now taking advantage of podcast technology.

Hear ideas about nature of the world, and of the human condition that can radically transform your daily life into a rewarding experience.

Living the Tao: Spiritual Podcast is available for free on Audible, Spotify or Apple or by visiting thetaoismforthemodernworld.com and clicking podcast. Listen now!

https://www.the-taoism-for-modern-world.com/living-the-tao-spiritual-podcast/

Living The Tao Spiritual Podcast
Living The Tao Spiritual Podcast

Motherhood: How to protect your kids from sexual abuse

Keshia: Okay. All right. Well, I’m gonna take this conversation a little bit differently. And I’m going to ask you a question, because at the start of this conversation, you started by saying that Out of the Snares is about you coming out of poverty, sexual abuse, and parents not being in the home. And so, we talked a little bit about the, poverty, we talked a little bit about parents not being in the home. But I’m wanting to hear a bit more about your memories of your, child abuse. And in your book, you also talk about how the memories of that, child abuse, came back to you after I was born.  Can you talk a little bit about that? About that time for you as you had me and those memories of, sexual abuse, came flooding back to you.

And then also maybe you want to give some advice to listeners that have experienced, sexual abuse, and have had daughters and now have to feel like they have to protect their child at all costs.

Myrna: Well, thank you Keshia, it’s a very important conversation to have. So let me start with me and then I will expand it out. I was, sexually abused, by my godfather.  I called him grandfather and I spent a lot of time at his house. So, that is the first problem that contributes to our black and brown babies getting, sexually abused, because apparently in our community it happens a lot. In my experience, it wasn’t a babysitting thing. It was just that, I was always at someone’s house. I was at my aunt’s house, I was at my grandfather’s house and when you’re sleeping over at people’s houses and there is men around, this is basically what happens.

Sponsored Ad

This podcast episode is brought to you by energyforjoy.com

Energy for Joy features a visual meditation video named Release and Align.

There are many, many benefits to meditation…

But meditation can be a problem for those who have a difficult time quieting their minds.

If traditional meditation hasn’t worked for you yet, visual meditation might be what you’re “looking” for.

Release and Align is a Visual Meditation created to provide the benefits of meditation without the frustration many experience as they try to meditate.

This visual meditation is an 8-minute video. It’s a type of meditation you practice with your eyes open and it works whether you quiet your mind or not.

Release and Align combines layered graphs and precisely positioned color patterns.

It uses leading edge color techniques and is designed to help you experience the benefits of meditation within minutes.

First, images of red, orange, and yellow help you release resistance.

Next, mellow colors of soft yellow, green, and blue will help bring you to equilibrium in order to stop any negative momentum and help you feel a calm balance.

Finally, alignment takes place— this is accomplished through sky blue, indigo, and magenta. These luxurious colors send the message to your system that your normal state of being is a calm, happy, and abundant state.

Experience the benefits of meditation and alignment.

Find out more at energyforjoy.com

Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict
Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

Mothers also need to protect boys

I read something from Tyler Perry, that was addressing this issue, and he was talking about our community. Most Black mothers don’t have money for a babysitter, so they always have the kids go and stay at the uncle dem house and this person’s house and all that kind of stuff. And this is basically what happens. Kids are being, sexually abused, by people that come to our homes and even boyfriends.  So, getting back to my, child abuse, I didn’t have any trauma attached to it as it was happening because this person was a loved one and I really loved him.

He showered me with gifts, we were poor, and he was rich. So when this experience was going on, I wasn’t traumatized in any way. I mean, I didn’t understand what was going on because it started when I was very young age. I didn’t understand what was going on until I started having boyfriends at 13 and realized, you’ve already had sex. These guys are gonna think that you’re a tramp.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Past sexual abuse trauma resurfaced after birth of child

That started my whole self-respect phase which worked for me because I was never promiscuous. So, it wasn’t very traumatic. When I recognized that it was wrong, I stopped it. There was no big problem. You know what I mean? But then, when you were born, something that I buried came alive and it was very, traumatic. I stopped wanting to have your dad to touch me, I had bad dreams. And whatever it was, clearly it was coming back up. I mean, and it was really an unusual response. Of course, I never went to therapy or anything. I just worked through it, but it started my vigilance of making sure you were not exposed to, sexual abuse.

And my vigilance came with people in my home and where I sent you to sleep over.  Your father and I split up when you were five years old. I made sure that anybody that I’m bringing to the house that I would, make sure I don’t leave you alone with that person.  At one point in time, my sister was living with me, and her husband started bathing you. And I immediately put a stop to that.

So these are the ways that you protect your girl children and boy children, because it’s not only girls now. But you protect them by knowing who they’re coming into contact with.  Our world is becoming really messed up because women are now molesting boys. Tyler Perry, tells a story of how he was molested by a woman and I think even Terry Crews revealed that he was also, sexually assaulted.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Motherhood: Be careful your kids are always watching

In my book, I share my views on, motherhood, and I believe that, motherhood, you are a role model for your kids. I remember you were always watching me. It was an incredible thing, you didn’t feel comfortable unless you’re in my presence watching and listening, watching and listening. And mothers or fathers, your kids are always listening. They’re always watching. So, you can’t say “Do as I say it, not as I do.” You’ve got to do it. You’ve got to walk the walk. So, I was a role model to you and I taught you things that my mom taught me. For example, to make decisions for yourself.

What do you feel is the role of a mother and how do you plan to embrace, motherhood?

Keshia: Yeah, I mean we’ve talked a lot about protection, I definitely think that the role of the mom is to protect their cub so to speak. When we watch Animal Planet you always see the mother lion protecting her cub and protecting them from harm.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

The role of a mother

So definitely protection is the, role of a mother, as well as all the other things like:

  • Feed your children not only actual physically feeding, but emotionally feeding, feeding their self-confidence,
  • Teaching them to become contributing members of society
  • Helping them to find their purpose
  • Teaching them to love God
  • And how to survive in life
  • To lead by example, kids are always watching. You want to be able to not only say the important things, but show them the important things as well.

So how am I embracing motherhood? I’m still learning, I am just a few months in but yeah, I have been reading books and I am working towards embracing, motherhood.

It still feels weird. You know, hearing my baby’s heartbeat seeing it via ultrasounds. I mean, it just feels different. I can’t even really grasp the words to say like, how does it feel to know that something is living inside of you and living inside of your belly? Right. Something that you have to care for and nurture and protect and be worried for and scared for and love all at the same time. So, it’s very humbling. Maybe that’s the word.

Circle of life continues connection with baby

Myrna: I didn’t hear the word, connection.  Are you connecting to this baby?

Keshia: Thanks for putting me on the spot mom. I don’t know if I would say I am connecting with the baby yet. I don’t feel connected yet. I did have the feeling that morning that it was a girl even though all along I’ve been saying they think it’s a boy. But that morning I did say yeah, you’re a girl. So maybe. Also, the day before I found out that I was pregnant. I said we need a new car and went out and bought a new car that day. Because I’m like we you know, we need a new car for family planning. So, I guess she is speaking to me.

Myrna: She’s sending you those signals. Yes, yes. Amazing. All right. Well, listen, Keshia Morris Desir. You did not disappoint. We had an incredible conversation. Thank you for sharing your, motherhood experience, with me and my audience.  Wishing you the best pregnancy and delivery.

Additional Resources

How To Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse

 

Why God Won’t Let You Die Before Your Time

God won't let you die

 In this episode I talk with Wytisha Williams.  Wytisha’s mother tried to take her life at 5 years old, she was molested by her biological father and she attempted suicide several times, but God won’t let her die before she achieved her purpose. Her purpose is to help those who are suffering under the weight of depression, pain, or suicidal thoughts, to become their voice; that is why she wrote the book He Wouldn’t Let Me Die

Download the podcast here 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://verifi.podscribe.com/rss/p/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11847922-why-god-won-t-let-you-die-before-your-time.mp3?download=true

Bio

Wytisha Williams is a Mental Health Counselor/ PLPC born in Louisiana. She is also a disabled United States Army Veteran and transformational speaker. She coined the word Mind Empowerment which was inspired by the understanding that every challenge begins and ends with the mind. She created the character M.E. who is a white eagle with a crown and cape that represents her brand which signifies a person soaring above the obstacles that were meant to destroy any person.

The crown signifies being a conqueror of adversity and the cape represents being a superhero to oneself. Wytisha knows to defeat any challenge you must empower, equip and properly nurture the mind. She is also the author of HE WOULDN’T LET ME DIE!: To not walk in the purpose that you were given life for is a life not worth living.

Myrna: You start off your book summary with the following statement “This book is based on a series of true events such as the gruesome experience of a mother trying to murder her child, while the same child endures, sexual abuse, by their biological father.” So can you share your story with us please.

Sponsored Ad

I have always wanted to do composting.  I see my brother doing it but I have always thought it was too much work!

Then I got a Lomi! Lomi allows me to turn my food scraps into dirt with the push of a button. Lomi is a countertop electric-composter that turns scraps to dirt in under 4 hours in express mode. There’s no smell when it runs and it’s really quiet. My plants took a beating from hurricane Ian so I have been using the grow mode in my Lomi to get composting dirt for my plants.  The grow mode takes 24 hours.

The beautiful thing about this is that it allows me to be eco-friendly. Since I got my Lomi, I throw out way less garbage. That means it’s not going to landfills and producing methane gas. Instead, I turn my waste into nutrient-rich dirt that I can feed to my plants.

If you want to start making a positive environmental impact or just make clean up after dinner that much easier, Lomi is perfect for you. Head to LOMI.COM/TRANSFORM and use the promo code TRANSFORM to get $50 off your Lomi.  Food waste is gross, Lomi is your solution! With the holidays just around the corner, Lomi will make the perfect gift for someone on your shopping list.

lomi-kitchen-composter
lomi-kitchen-composter

My story of trauma and dysfunction

Wytisha: My life growing up was pretty much a life full of dysfunction. Severe, trauma, because the two people that actually brought me into this world, the most important people in my life, caused me the most, trauma. At age five, my mother tried to take my life. And then around the same age, I had an experience of, molestation, with my biological father. So, growing up, enduring so much, trauma, and it wasn’t just in the household, I suffered a lot of unfair and unjust treatment through from my family members.

So as a child, I did not understand what was taking place and so many different things, so many different what I would call spirits were a part of my life that I lacked, self-esteem. I also endured some of the same abuse and unfair treatment, and bullying in school. I then begin to lash out and react in a way that was uncontrollable, which resulted to me being in a part of the judicial system in a negative manner, becoming a juvenile delinquent, which later kind of trickled over to my adulthood.

But, I always had a feeling that there was something better out there for me. I wanted to get out of Louisiana, so I actually attended college for a year but after still not addressing that, trauma, not receiving help for those childhood traumatic events; all of that stuff that was suppressed and deep down inside. I was still getting into trouble with the law. So, I decided to go into the, United States military. However, when you don’t deal with, childhood trauma, it only manifests in a different manner, or a different way.

So, my behavior became quite severe while I was serving active duty and I was required by my chain of command to receive therapy and address issues that I had endured during my childhood. So that led to me receiving therapy. And that’s when I developed a passion for therapy. It actually planted a seed inside me and motivated me to want to be that voice for people that suffer inside. So, I began the journey of becoming a therapist.

Sponsored Ad

Gifting is hard. Bombas makes it easy with socks, underwear, and t-shirts that feel good and do good. They feel good because they’re thoughtfully designed with the softest materials, and they do good because for every item you purchase, Bombas donates another to someone in need.

Bombas is the perfect gift for those on your list that has everything because everyone could use beautiful socks or underwear that fit perfectly and are soft and comfortable.

Bombas’s holiday collection puts a modern twist on traditional festive colors and designs. Think rich purples and greens, geometric snowflake designs, sweater-inspired textures, and retro ski patterns.

And did you know that socks, underwear, and t-shirts are the three most requested clothing items in homeless shelters? That’s why Bombas donates one item for every item you buy.

So far, Bombas has donated over 75 million items of clothing. That’s a whole lot of comfort, and a whole lot of good.

Give the good this holiday season with Bombas. Go to Bombas.com/transform and use code transform for twenty percent off your first purchase.

Bombas women socks
Bombas women socks

How the Military helped with my trauma

Myrna: Wow. You know, as you tell the story, I know that you’re healed from it, because I’m not picking up any residual effects of, trauma. So, you have released it. That’s awesome.  It looks like you were also injured in the, Military, and became a, disabled veteran. What happened there?

Wytisha: Not trying to go into too much detail. Being an active-duty soldier, I’ve endured multiple conditions within my body. And it’s so funny because when people see me, from outward appearance, they’re like, oh, where are you disabled? I have I have so much pushback when I go to get my disabled pay. When I go to get my certifications, and any type of discount. You know, I get so much pushback because I don’t look disabled. What I continue to do is educate people on is every disability is not visual, you can’t always see every disability, having, mental illness, that’s considered a disability, and you can’t see it.

Myrna: True, I know what you’re talking about. PTSD, which is a disability, you can’t see that either.  What inspired you to write the book and share your story, and why did you pick such an amazing title?

He Wouldn’t Let Me Die!: To Not Walk in the Purpose that You Were Given Life for is a Life Not Worth Living.

Book He Wouldn't let me die
Book He Wouldn’t let me die

God won’t let me die after several suicide attempts

I know from your bio, that you tried to commit, suicide, several times. So, let’s talk with that your now. Is that the reason you wrote the book, you named your book, He wouldn’t let me die?

Wytisha: Absolutely, yes, the title coincides with me trying to take my life. Like I say it was, trauma, from the very beginning of my childhood. Yeah, I tried try multiple times to, commit suicide. I did not want to be here, because I just felt hopeless. I felt like I wasn’t worthy of love. I felt like nobody loved me. And I always felt that I was alone. And throughout so much, trauma, and always just being picked on in the home at the school in the community. I’m just like, I’ve never understood why every time I go somewhere, somebody wants to abuse me.

So, when I say my self-esteem was just little to none. The title also ties into people trying to take my life. I’m speaking about, you know, my mother, the giver of life other than my Creator. Her trying to take me out at the age of five. And then you know, I even talk about in my book, another near death experience that I faced with another family member at the age of seven. So, it was like doing the whole entire time of my childhood someone was trying to take me life.  When I just looked back over my life, God wouldn’t let me die. So, that’s where the title came from. The enemy has been trying to take me out since birth. You know and he wouldn’t let me die.

Myrna: Why did you write the book?

Wytisha: I’m in a place now where I can actually tell the story holistically without any bitterness or without any type of anger or resentment. My book is basically to help others. So, what started happening to me is I could not sleep and it was like a spiritual thing. It was like God just kept telling me look, you overcame this. There are so many people that do not overcome, trauma. There are so many people that that has attempted to, commit suicide, and has accomplished it and they’re no longer here to tell the story.

Sponsored Ad

Are you WASTING MONEY on subscriptions? 80% of people have subscriptions they forgot about. Maybe for you it’s an unused Amazon Prime account, or a Hulu account that never gets streamed. That’s why I use Rocket Money formerly known as Truebill. Rocket money helps me track all of my expenses – and because of it, I no longer waste money on subscriptions I don’t even use.  

The app shows all your subscriptions in one place, and then cancels for you whatever you don’t want. ● Rocket Money can even find subscriptions you didn’t know you were paying for. You may even find out you’ve been double-charged for a subscription. ● To cancel a subscription, all you have to do is press CANCEL, and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. 

Get rid of useless subscriptions with Rocket Money now. Go to ROCKETMONEY.COM/TRANSFORM. Seriously, it could save you HUNDREDS per year. That website again is ROCKETMONEY.COM/TRANSFORM. ● Cancel your unnecessary subscriptions right now. 

Rocket money
Rocket money

God wouldn’t let me die until I shared my story

And so as a therapist, I talked to so many people that experienced, trauma, abuse, molestation, sexual assault, and they will not talk it. about that mean they will not come for free. God just kept telling me you have to release book, because your story is going to help others heal and transform. And honestly, I’ve fought against it for so long because I did not want to verbalize it or disclose it.  So, I had to get to a place where I told myself it’s not about you. It’s about the people that you are going to help.

Myrna: That’s amazing. You know, as you were talking, I was trying to think about what your parents thought about your book?

Wytisha: I don’t have a relationship with either one of my parents especially since the book has come out. Like I said, I don’t have any resentment towards them and I try to make it clear to so many people.  And honestly, I wish that we could have actually gone on this journey together. I know that both of my parents experienced, trauma, there was some things that happened to both of them in order for them to do to me what they did. So, when I became older, I began to understand that it didn’t it begin with me, it didn’t begin with them. Somewhere along the line something took place. And so, I’m so adamant about finding answers.

So I did ask both of my parents what happened? Let’s talk about this thing. But their like whatever happened, it happened and we’re not going to talk about it.

Free Android Tablets
Free Android Tablets
Sponsored Ad

Looking for an amazing gift for you, friends, or family this holiday season? 
 
The Outreach Programs of America has partnered with The Affordable Connectivity Program (ACP) to provide Free Tablets that comes with Free Wi-Fi for 5 years, with a one-time activation fee of only $11.00. 
 
The tablet is yours forever! 
 
They’ve teamed up with Android and T-Mobile to bring some of the best tablets in the market to you valued at $150.00 
 
Some of the ways you may qualify are if you receive Pell Grants, SNAP, EBT, Medical etc 
 
Visit our Linktree today whether you’re in college or apart of the community to sign up and checkout more ways you may qualify today. 
 
Go to our https://linktr.ee/tabletsfor11 as see if you qualify  

Transform Your Mind Podcast Podvine
Transform Your Mind Podcast Podvine

Holding your parents accountable

Myrna: Well, they’re probably not holding any accountability, because they were never, arrested or charged or anything. So, they’re going to say that what you’re saying is not true. They’re not going to admit it. But yes, you have to talk about it. And a lot of people wait until their parents die actually, before they come out and talk about these things because they know how it’s gonna affect the family. So, I give you kudos for being brave enough to talk about it now, so that you can help other people.

As for your parents, it’s very true. Hurt people hurt people. It didn’t start with you, something happened to your parents. That’s the reason they abused you. They should go on a journey of healing and they should ask your forgiveness, to be quite honest, and they should do that before they die.  Have you forgiven them?

Wytisha: I don’t have any ill will towards them as people. I can’t say that I have forgiven them.

Myrna: You’re doing great. We’re talking about some very difficult things here and you’re doing great. Excellent, let’s switch to, mental health awareness. You talk about being on the wrong side of the judicial system, serving in the, military, and now being a Therapist. Which one of these roles helped you the most with your, mental health, and, mind empowerment? .

Wytisha: All where necessary, the combination of every last milestone every less accomplishment is what actually has helped me to this point. The experience of me being on the wrong side of the judicial system actually helps me when it comes to counseling, because I can also counsel and help individuals that had been incarcerated. I actually work in a correctional facility, so I can relate on those issues.

Sponsored Ad

This podcast episode is brought to you by energyforjoy.com

Energy for Joy features a visual meditation video named Release and Align.

There are many, many benefits to meditation…

But meditation can be a problem for those who have a difficult time quieting their minds.

If traditional meditation hasn’t worked for you yet, visual meditation might be what you’re “looking” for.

Release and Align is a Visual Meditation created to provide the benefits of meditation without the frustration many experience as they try to meditate.

This visual meditation is an 8-minute video. It’s a type of meditation you practice with your eyes open and it works whether you quiet your mind or not.

Release and Align combines layered graphs and precisely positioned color patterns.

It uses leading edge color techniques and is designed to help you experience the benefits of meditation within minutes.

First, images of red, orange, and yellow help you release resistance.

Next, mellow colors of soft yellow, green, and blue will help bring you to equilibrium in order to stop any negative momentum and help you feel a calm balance.

Finally, alignment takes place— this is accomplished through sky blue, indigo, and magenta. These luxurious colors send the message to your system that your normal state of being is a calm, happy, and abundant state.

Experience the benefits of meditation and alignment.

Find out more at energyforjoy.com

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Helping veterans with military trauma and sexual trauma

I can also help and assist other, veterans, that are suffering from, PTSD, or any other type of, military trauma, any type of military, sexual trauma, you know, things of that nature. And being a therapist, of course, the one of the best techniques and counsel that you can put there is empathy, being able to empathize, being able to relate to a client, because it’s one thing when you have an education, education is great, but most people they identify when the limitations of education.

When you sit down and you can actually listen to a person and then you can relate and understand and then also give them recommendations or help or resources that you have also utilized for yourself or apply to your own life. That takes it to another level.

Myrna: So true. One of my coaching clients told me that she would not go to a life coach that hasn’t gone through the same experience that she wants help with, because she doesn’t want anybody tell her stuff that they haven’t gone through. This is why a lot of my coaches and even therapists always help clients with the issues they’ve overcome.

What do you want readers to walk away with after they put the book down? What is the goal of your book?

Sponsored Ad

Italian Artist Aria Releases New Christmas Single Aria’s stirring, heartfelt track, A Christmas Letter, reinforces love and connectedness in a time when Christmas has taken on new meaning and significance in the wake of recent worldwide events VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMpIl7fRvRA

SONG: https://open.spotify.com/album/3159ZMJpHbgZWCEAXDWN8b?si=UjdbdqKhTU2iZfk0K8m3RQ

https://www.facebook.com/ariathecomposer

https://www.instagram.com/ariathecomposer/

https://www.youtube.com/@user-ez4or3wz4w

https://www.ariamusicworld.com

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

The goal of Book: He Wouldn’t Let me die

Wytisha: The goal of the book is to help others that have been through the same experience. Understand that as you say, and I love the way that you put it that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know by being a therapist, there are so many people that are still stuck in there, childhood trauma. And a lot of it comes from not wanting to talk about it, not being able to talk about it. So, I always tell people that this book was to basically be the voice for people that suffer in silence.

I want this book to be able to reach people in every nation, because I’ve shared it’s not about gender. It’s not about race. It’s not about the creed. It’s not about social economics, because we all on some level has experienced some type of, trauma.

It doesn’t matter if it was psychological, mental, emotional, you know, and I shared this before. I mean, you can experience, trauma, as small as your parent making you tie your shoes 100 times a day and when you become an adult you no longer want to wear shoes with laces. Or your, trauma, can be as severe as the abuse I suffered, sexual abuse, and physical abuse.

I want people to be able to read this book and say if she did it, I can do it too. If she overcame it, I can overcome it too. And I just want to be that voice and I want to be that witness that you can overcome it. You can overcome it, that the, trauma, does not control you. It does not have to control you, you can find a way to heal and find a purpose and find joy, peace and happiness through all that you endure. And you have to be willing to let go of the pain.

Conclusion

We all want to learn, how to die.  When life is no longer fun for us we sometimes want to, die.

Myrna: How can people connect with you on social media and pick up a copy of your book?

Wytisha: You can pick up a copy of my book He Wouldn’t Let Me Die!: To Not Walk in the Purpose that You Were Given Life for is a Life Not Worth Living

On amazon.com. You can reach me on Facebook Wytisha Williams and also Instagram @WytishaRisingPhoenix.

Additional Resources 

Reflection 4 Rejection: Surviving My Mothers Abandonment and Abuse

10 Ways Childhood Trauma Impacts our Ability to Love

Child sexual abuse - break the silence

10 ways that, childhood trauma, can sabotage your love life and relationships. Relationship Coach Riana Milne joins The Transform your Mind podcast to discuss, childhood trauma, and how it impacts our adult life. Riana is the best selling author of “Love Beyond your Dreams” and “From Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success.”

For anyone who have had trouble maintaining healthy relationships, listen to find out if your have any of the, childhood trauma, that can affect your love relationships.

 

How Childhood Trauma affects Adults
How Childhood Trauma affects Adults

IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN:

How does, childhood trauma, impact adults in life and love?
Riana goes over ten, childhood traumas, and relate them back to how they show up in our lives as an adult.
To get the most out of this topic, Riana advise the listeners to Get a sheet of paper and make three columns.

The first column you put “ME”, the second column you put “Your partner” and the third column you put “Your parents” because research shows, childhood trauma, go through the generations.

iHeart Radio

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-Transform-your-Mind-29542107/

So here are the ten, childhood traumas:

As I speak them remember that when you were child you’re very young and innocent all you knew is what mom and dad modeled to you so there’s
nothing to feel guilt or shame about.
I don’t want people to say no it didn’t happen because they’re embarrassed or they feel shame around it.
If it is a fact, if it happened write it down.
It is like putting a puzzle together. Once you know what your, childhood trauma, is and then how it’s showing up as a for you as an adult.
As a coach, I can start putting the pieces together and everything starts making a whole lot of sense.

My favorite line is you can’t change what you don’t understand.

Childhood trauma, #1 addictions

1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there’s also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder, spending or gambling, workaholic etc. There’s 11 addictive behaviors.

Childhood trauma, #2 Verbal Abuse

2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and yelling at each other? This, Childhood trauma, is typical is yelling screaming but this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like “you’ll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.

Childhood trauma, #3 emotional abuse or neglect

3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let’s say they came home from school at 3 o’clock and mom if they’re in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours.

There’s anxiety around that. So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we’re out trying to support our kids there home alone.

Childhood trauma, #4 Psychical abuse

4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – This, childhood trauma,  could have happened in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools we’re supposed to teach our child another way.

If you’re beating them or hitting them you’re teaching them to be violent back. We don’t want to do that.

Childhood trauma, #5 Abandonment

5. Abandonment – There’s two types, childhood trauma, from abandonment. Fault and No Fault abandonment.
Here are three examples, childhood trauma, from no-fault abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24

Here is an example of “Fault” abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.

Childhood trauma, #6 Adoption

6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to live with relatives because mom or dad couldn’t take care of you, that even includes Grandma’s, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn’t want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn’t want to go home.

Childhood trauma, #7 personal trauma

7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky. Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.

Childhood trauma, #8 Sibling trauma

8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time. Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I’m worthwhile too.

Childhood trauma, #9 Community trauma

9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years. Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that’s all
family trauma and community trauma. Today we can also have, childhood trauma, if we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass shootings in our community.

https://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/

Childhood trauma, #10 Mental Health

10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities. We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma. Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or the repercussions.

I am unlike every other love coach, because I specialize in how the past has harmed you and what you’re attracting. We call it same person different face. The repetitive toxic relationships and this happens to my clients who are very successful
in business but they struggle in love. They can’t figure out why like I can get the career right,

https://myhelps.us/podcast-sponsorship-transform-your-mind/

Sponsored AD

If you would like to improve the quality of your life and don’t have the budget to hire a coach, then I have an offer for you. Why not play the game of life and learn the skills to maneuver life situations. How many of you have played the game of monopoly and learned the value of having property to collect rent?

1. The Coaching Game features 65 associative cards that explore significant everyday life themes.
2. Punctum fosters associative connections between photos, themes and questions. These flexible combinations make it a fascinating tool, highly effective in dynamic therapy, coaching and counseling.
3. Faces is a powerful way to get to know ourselves through the observation of others.

For more information or to purchase one or more games. Would make a prefect Christmas gift for someone you love. Head over to https://poy4all.com/transform/?ref=17

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Riana is offering a FREE eBook
Get it here:
www.HavetheLoveYouDeserve.com

 

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to the PODCAST so you can get new episodes as they are uploaded. You can listen on, iTunes,  TuneIn radio, iHeart Radio, Stitcher and Spotify.

There’s Nothing “Wrong” with You that Makes Dating So Hard! In Fact, 90% of People Have the Same Challenge when it comes to Love! (And They Don’t Even Know It Exists!)

Imagine attracting and having the Emotionally Healthy Love Relationship you’ve always wanted – and the life you are passionate about! It’s possible and I’ll show you what you’ve been doing “wrong”. (And it’s not what you think!)

It’s time to get the FACTS and learn EXACTLY what is going on, and How to Fix It!

 

Additional Resources:

https://blog.myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-surviving-mothers-abandonment/

4 Ways a Traumatic Childhood Affects Adult Relationships

What happens to us as children can affect the attachment style we carry into our adult relationships. Childhood Trauma, hugely influences attachment. Often people who grew up in happy, healthy, and stable homes where caregivers were emotionally available and responsive to their needs have a secure attachment style. These people don’t push partners away or cling too tightly. While they may have troubles in their relationships, an unhealthy attachment style isn’t the cause.

The Long Shadow of Childhood Trauma

A new study suggests that stress experienced early in life damages the ability to assess risk, creating young adults with poor decision-making skills.

How to Stop Negative Self Talk

Most of the time our, self-communication, is negative.  Our, negative self-talk, is different from the way we talk to our friends for example.  So we need to tell ourselves “I don’t like the way you talk to me”

My guest today all the way from the UK is Cheyne Towers.  Cheyne is a hypnotherapist and, self-communication, expert and we are going to be talking today on, negative self-talk, and, mindfulness.

Listen to the full interview here:

 

Cheyne Towers. London-based hypnotherapist Cheyne Towers has been helping people to transform how they speak toward themselves for the best part of two decades. Through simple yet profound understanding he has successfully helped many who have suffered trauma, abuse, depression, and anxiety. Now the co-founder of The Dialogue of Self Liberation, Cheyne is sharing this practical transformational system online, helping people to develop The Mindfulness of Self-Communication, and nurture self-forgiveness and self-compassion. Always willing to connect Cheyne can regularly be found hosting the TDSL Global Community Calls, where he provides continuing support to people around the world who wish to improve and enhance the quality of their self-communications. As a lifelong martial artist, Cheyne has also developed seated Qigong for people with mobility challenges, and also teaches workshops at Sword Punk traditional weapons-training festival in the UK.

Does being a martial artist help with self communication?

Myrna – You are a martial artist and a, self-communication, expert. Martial art is a very controlled sport, so it lends to having control of your, mind. Can you share your journey from martial art to, mindfulness?  You mentioned that you’re helping people who have suffered, trauma, or, abuse, and depression.

Sponsored Ad

Make more money
Make more money

Do you have an extra 15 minutes per day that you’re willing to set aside to create an autopilot internet business for yourself?

Let me show you a proven method that I use as an affiliate marketer online to earn huge weekly commissions.

He calls himself “More Money” and he has been changing people lives for years. His method “$20 in 20 minutes” is nothing less than amazing!!

For more information check out “More Money” on the web at

https://www.multipleincomefunnel.com/vsl/traviivalentino

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Cheyne – From an early age, I had an interest in, inner development, self-development, meditation, and those kinds of practices.  I started practicing martial art around 17 years old.  I’m currently 55 years old and that’s been a constant throughout my life.

I never wanted to become a therapist, but through mutual friends, I was introduced to it by a very experienced, hypnotherapist. I studied with him as his personal student for the last four years of his life and during that time he took me through a process that totally transformed my life on every level for the better.

How I let go of my Negative Self-talk and repetitive patterns

Unbeknown to me, I’d spent 20 years of my life engaging in very, negative repetitive patterns of, self-talk, giving myself a very hard time, beating myself up, blaming myself for not being good enough, for having been a failure in relationships and many other things.

I didn’t realize that I was doing it. I hadn’t got a clue and he helped me in a very clear and methodical way to identify those unhelpful habits and, negative beliefs, that I’d picked up along the way about myself.

Sponsored AD

TwilightWing. Here is a link to my shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TwilightWingsMagicks

TwillightWing offers spells for various purposes from finding your Soul Mate, acquiring more Money, Healing, Lucid Dreaming and Astral Travel, and my most popular, Opening Your Third Eye, to name a few. I have over 17 spells ready for your desire!

For more information and to find the spell for you click the link below

https://www.etsy.com/shop/TwilightWingsMagicks

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Myrna – Did he put you under under, hypnotherapy, or did he just talk to you?

Cheyne – He used the methodology of developing the, mindfulness, of, self-communication.  The very first thing he had me do was to develop the skill of monitoring the dialogue I was speaking to myself. Moment to moment what are you actually saying to yourself, about yourself now in this moment is very important to stopping, negative self-talk.

Sponsor the Transform Your Mind TV Talk Show
Sponsor the Transform Your Mind TV Talk Show

How to Listen to your Self-talk

You need to develop the skill of listening to what you’re actually telling yourself and your, negative self-talk, from moment to moment. I bet you will discover that you don’t like the way you speak to yourself.

What are the stories you picked up along the way that no longer serve you? There’s a responsibility that we have toward ourselves, with regards to, how we speak to ourselves about ourselves.  We program ourselves through our, self-communications, but then we begin to utilize the more creative aspects of the imagination which is more the formal.

Sponsored AD

Think you need to spend all your time and energy chasing clients to succeed as a creative entrepreneur? Wrong! I’ll show you how to turn the tables and get clients attracted to YOUR BRAND.

If you’re like me, you want to earn as much as possible for as little work as possible. Economists call this maximizing your opportunity cost. I call this being smart and efficient.

How is this even possible?

I’ve created a proven process specifically for creative entrepreneurs so you can succeed. The personal coaching element allows you access to my wealth of knowledge without the price tag of many other coaches.

I take creative entrepreneurs just like you and I’ll teach you how to develop a brand that sets you apart in the market within the next three months using a simple, repeatable process that just plain works.

In the program, I’ll be teaching you everything from my 25+ year career of building better brands and squeezed it into a fast path program to help you go from zero to success in as little as 90 days. If you do the work, you will see results!

Schedule a free, 30-minute call to discuss your specific business needs.
https://buildabetterbrand.affinitymediacourses.com/BABBSCQFunneloptin

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

 

Hypnosis, or, self-hypnosis, is sometimes necessary to stop the, negative self-talk. Let’s say somebody can’t stop the, negative self-talk, about themselves because all their life they were hearing things like:

  • you’re not good enough.
  • you’ll never be nothing.
  • you will never amount to anything.
  • You will never be a success in life.

Myrna – Now they’re mindful of it because they’re listening. Can they stop without, hypnotherapy?

Transform your mind PTWWN TV
PTWWN TV

Can we stop the negative self-talk without Hypnotherapy?

Cheyne – I don’t like the term, hypnotherapy, or, hypnotherapist, because I think it’s a loaded term and people have many misconceptions about what, hypnotherapy, actually is. So I tend to describe that aspect of the work as I help people to harness the creative power of their imagination, so that they learn how to work with it, rather than be a slave to it.

Myrna – Hypnotherapy, migrates and it changes, so now you’re using the term, creative imagination. How did the martial arts piece fit in to your, negative self-talk?

Cheyne – That’s a great question.  I use a lot of metaphors and symbolism in this work because the metaphors and symbols convey things to the, subconscious mind. Which is where we need to make the alterations in the trigger mechanisms that are built up because of our experiences.

There’s a saying a very old Chinese saying the mind leads the chi

This is true of everything in life. If we fixate our thinking in a particular way, if we imagine a particular scenario that is what we attract into our lives.  The mind leads the Chi!

When we think about those negative imaginings, our energy, our Chi, gets poured into those molds and we kind of become that shape.

Sponsored AD

Have you ever been at the Right Place Wrong Time?  Clamant resolution understands the stress of having your budget hit by unexpected costs at the parking meter.  You mistakenly parked in an unauthorized area while rushing to meet with a potential client or for a doctor’s appointment.  Parking citations are a nuisance and the last thing you need is a setback while trying to get ahead.  Scrounging up money to pay parking tickets should not be one of the things you do, instead of attempting to pay with money that you don’t have or accumulating late fees; we offer interest based repayment plans.  With Clamant resolution you can secure the payment of your ticket while guaranteeing a feasible payback option.  More importantly you avoid the risks of having your vehicle registration canceled or your license suspended.  Contact Clamant resolution and get your parking ticket paid. Visit us on the web at  https://clamantresolution.com

Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes
Download on iTunes

Negative self-talk – I am not good enough

Myrna – I’m a, Life coach, I know that I’m not good enough is one of the top, negative self-talk, or, self-communication, that we partake of.

Cheyne – True, we torment ourselves and beat ourselves up and come up with all kinds of cruel variations on that theme. We would never dream of speaking to another person the way we speak to ourselves.  I Don’t Like the Way You Speak to Me.

We would never dream of putting another person down and yet somehow, we’ve become conditioned to believe that it’s somehow okay for us to talk to ourselves like that.

I’m going to title this “I don’t like the way you speak to me” because we don’t say nice things to ourselves. It is always, negative self-talk. We never say things like:

  • you’re so pretty.
  • you’re so beautiful.
  • you are going to kick ass in this job.
  • I am good enough for this promotion.

No, the, self-communication, is always negative.

Cheyne – I did that for 20 years of my life totally unconsciously until my teacher helped me to to spot it.

Self-liberation is a program to help us with, negative self-talk

Myrna – That’s amazing, so he pointed you to your purpose. That helped you create the, self-liberation, program.  Tell us about it.

Cheyne – The dialogue of, self-liberation, is the name that I’ve given to the methodology of understanding the principles of, negative self-talk. I also call it the “rinse and repeat.”

Sponsored AD

youtube.com/c/alexjulia
https://open.spotify.com/track/7MCbqgmUZ32O3kcqsu0Xoe?si=79ccb84e41b84b65

Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

 

People have come to see me in all states of, brokenness. I’ve worked with many people who’ve been raped, who’ve had experience of, sexual abuse, violent, abusive relationships, all kinds of, trauma.

Yet when it’s explained clearly to a person that there is a way for them to begin to change literally the stories, they’re telling themselves about themselves.

Just because we’ve had certain experiences in our past, those experiences don’t need to define who we are today.  What defines who we are, is what we do with the experiences we’ve been through.

How do we process those experiences?  We can learn from those experiences and choose to no longer communicate about the past as if it were the present or the future. We can chose to stop the, negative self-talk.

Self-liberation is a freeing experience

This is an incredibly freeing and liberating experience, so the dialogue of, self-liberation, is process of learning how to communicate toward ourselves. In a way that has nothing to do with, positive affirmation, nothing to do with fake positivity or anything like that. It allows us to stop communicating to ourselves in, self-abusive, self-limiting, self-pitying, ways in the present tense and the future tense.

Myrna – I’m listening very intently to what you’re saying, because someone who’s reading this wouldn’t understand the depth of what you’re saying. What you’re saying is someone who has been, broken, they’re a victim, someone has done something to them and yet the, negative self-talk, that they’re telling themselves is saying that because of this, you are nobody. Because of this you’re not worth anything.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

I was in this same situation for a long time myself, I didn’t get out of it until I was in my 40s.  I was, sexually abused, as a child and I carried shame with that. I experienced that, self-liberation, myself once I started talking about it.  Now I don’t have any shame attached to it because I was a victim, I was a child. A child can’t give consent to anything.

What does, self-liberation, look like on the other side of shame?

Cheyne – Guilt and shame are really common themes in, trauma. We all commonly normalize the behavior and then end up blaming ourselves. We communicate to ourselves, well I must have deserved it for some reason or another.

When we uncover what we’ve actually been communicating toward ourselves, then we can utilize the use of the, creative imagination, to change the dialogue. We have online programs that we have via the website that we’re teaching the dialogue of, self-liberation.  We have various audio materials, some of those are what we refer to as guided contemplations.

These are spoken voice exercises to encourage the person to speak out loud with their own voice in an unconditionally open, self-supportive, and non-limiting way.  We have these suggested spoken voice exercises we call guided contemplations plus audio exercises of guided visualizations. The guided visualizations are designed to help people to take old memories of experiences that were upsetting or traumatic or just incredibly challenging and then to use their, creative imagination, to begin to change how they choose to view the memory.

Myrna – One of my most favorite quotes from Dr Wayne Dwyer

Change the way you look at a thing and the thing you look at will change

 

All we have to do the work.  I love Byron Katie, she has a book called “The Work. Change does not come without us doing the work!

We have to do the work to replace our negative self-talk

If you don’t do the work, you will continue to be with your bottom feeder emotions.  The guilt, the shame, the anger, the blame.  You will play the blame game. I’m not going to do well in life, because my parents abused me, or somebody abused me. In my book “Out of the Snares, a story of Hope and Encouragement” I call this stop being a victim and become a player. When we are in the, game of life, and we get bad cards, we have to learn how to play to win with those cards.

Sponsored AD

SERGIO LUCIANO WATCHES

Would you like to Stop wearing a watch and start wearing a timepiece? Then Sergio Luciano watches are for you.  Find out why most luxury men’s watch searches start and end with Sergio Luciano Watches.  Perfect timepieces that make a perfect statement.  At Sergio Luciano their watch specialists have worked hard to become the greatest reliable marketplace for luxury men’s watches online.  You’ll love the look; you’ll love the price. Now is the time to love their design.

Head over to Sergio-luciano.com and Use coupon code coachMyrna to get 15% off your order.

100% Satisfaction guaranteed.  That’s https://sergio-luciano.com

Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts
Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts

 

Tell our readers how they can get more information on your work.

Cheyne – thank you very much Myrna, my website is www.learntdsl.com.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

 

TDSL means the dialogue of, self-liberation.

We have an audio program which is in the form of an app which you would download to your phone with five audio lessons with accompanying audio exercises in the form of guided contemplations.

We also have a live program which consists of drip-fed PDF material over a five-week course with accompanying audio exercises plus one live zoom call with a small group of people once a week at the same time each week for five weeks. We’ve been running this with people around the world now for the last year and we’ve had some just wonderful feedback from the participants.

 

Conclusion

I want to thank you guys for tuning in to the Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life Radio  Podcast and television show. Please leave a review on iTunes and give us a rating if you liked this blog and podcast.

If you are listening on Spotify or any of the other podcast players, please subscribe and turn on your notification so you can be notified of new episodes.

I also want to invite you to join my private Facebook group called Life coach, we have daily inspiration in this group to help you to, transform your life, by, transforming your mind.

Additional Resources

https://www.findcourses.com/search/emotional-intelligence-training

Life Leadership & Success

 

Does Serving a Prison Sentence Affect Change?

Does Prison reform?

Does serving a, prison, sentence change your outlook in life?  Rocky Singh Kandola talks to us today on the subjects of,  rape, child abuse, prison, physical assault, and more.

Listen to the full interview here:

Rocky Singh Kandola is a 33 year old successful Indian businessman born in New York City and currently living in Los Angeles. Rocky owns a showroom in a high traffic area in the downtown area of Los Angeles. He says “I am both a felon and a Philosophy Graduate”   Rocky spent his “high school” life in 9 different facilities and, boot camps, around the world, some of which are now closed due to severe, child abuse, rape, and torture. He have almost died at least 8 times. Half of his face and jaw are fake from an attempted murder on his life. He’s been shot, stabbed, kidnapped, and kicked in the face resulting in over 20 major surgeries in his adult life.

How did Rocky end up in Prison

Myrna – Can you tell us your story of what led to you being, incarcerated.

Rocky – I spent a lot of time in different facilities and, boot camps, across the world at a young age.  My father was a very traditional Indian parent. Indian kids were supposed to stay home, study and get straight A’s. I was not that kid, I was a lot more outspoken. I was wild and carefree.  I wanted to be out and about and party with friends so me and my father bumped heads often.

I was sent to my first worldwide association of specialty program, boot camp, at age 15. Paris Hilton recently shed a lot of light on these, child abuse, boots camps, in her documentary.

Myrna – Oh my gosh, I saw her documentary.

Rocky – I went to one of the, boot camps, that were outside of the U.S, this one was in Mexico.  Keep in mind these are for-profit businesses that operate in very manipulative ways towards the parents as well as towards the children in order to further their business.

Sponsored Ad

Up is Higher than Down Podcast We Explore how to be Deliberate, Defiant, and Determined to Look up! Get Up! And Stay Up! Despite the challenge Listen to others share how they keep it moving during these stressful times. Join up is higher than Down from all major podcasting networks Come on over to our Up is Higher Than Down Facebook Group and keep the conversation going. Grab-an-UP and Go! Remember, Any part of Up is Higher Than Down. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/up-is-higher-than-down/id1539007527

up is higher than down podcast
up is higher than down podcast
Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Life in Boot Camps

My parents didn’t really know about the trauma the, child abuse, the, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or the, mental abuse, that was going on at these, boot camps.  They would tell the parents your kids are going to manipulate you.  They’re going to lie to you, don’t listen to them.  Our communication was controlled, we weren’t allowed to write or talk call home.

These, group homes,  boot camps, very regimented.  As soon as you walked in, your hair is shaved, you’re sleeping on the ground for 10 days,  you’re screamed at, or you’re beaten, and yelled at.  Forced to lay in positions on your stomach with  your chin on the ground and your hands and feet tied behind your back for hours.

You’re forced to wake up at 2 am o’clock in the middle of the night and go outside and stand in the rain and count the rain. These, group homes, boot camps, did all kinds of cruel mental games to brainwash and break a child.  It’s not hard to break a child especially at that age.

I learned to adapt and to work the system and I used that knowledge when I was in, prison. I would go into these, group homes, boot camps, every six months of my life, then go home, raise hell and be sent to another, group home, 6 months later.

Sponsored Ad

Ladies are you looking to revitalize and rejuvenate? Then head over to golwbeautybiz.com for all your natural feminine products. We have Yoni care products for your body, face and nails. Check out our Yoni jasmine bar soap or our Yoni Steam Herbs that helps Heals and tones the tissues of vagina

*Regulate irregular or absent menstrual cycles.

*and Increase Fertility

Check out these products and more at www.glowbeautybiz.com

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Did life in these book camps train you for Prison?

Myrna – What did you get arrested for and sent to, prison?

Rocky – The, prison, thing came about because I was selling drugs and doing everything from robbing, stealing,  breaking into cars. I started getting into heavier drugs until the federal government and the state local police set up a sting operation. This task force followed me around for quite a bit of time and got me to sell narcotics to an undercover agent.

I was arrested and charged with distribution. I was sentenced to  seven to nine years in, prison.

Prison, was very scary place; but after a few months, I got out I kind of got back in the same lifestyle.  I’m not really the type person you can scare or punish into changing.

Sponsored Ad

It’s time for a light revolution!

Daily spiritual and self-care practices are important for both mental and physical well-being.  Reiki is an energy healing technique used for relaxation and stress reduction.  Now, it can be easily incorporated into your daily routine.

At The Light Revolution, you can enjoy Reiki sessions at any time and place you want.  Our Reiki sessions and Ritual brand clearing products are designed to be convenient and accessible tools for your spiritual and self-care practices.  They are ideal for those with limited time, access, ability, or mobility, and can be used at the time and place you choose.

Performed by a Usui Master and certified practitioner, our Reiki sessions help balance your energy, enhance healing, and promote calmness. Both single sessions and subscription packages are available.

We bring you The Light Revolution distance Reiki and Ritual brand clearing products to make your place a safe and sacred space.

Schedule or order now at www.TheLightRevolution.com.  Follow us on Instagram at thelightrevolution_

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Does a prison sentence reform the inmate?

Myrna – You were in, prison, I think you said for seven or eight years and then you said that when you came out of, prison, you went back into the same lifestyle.  What you think, prison, did for you if anything?

Rocky – I was in prison for about two years,  in jail for a year then rehab for another year.

I learned so much in, prison.  There’s people going to, prison, with different attitudes, different crimes. I  went in there as an adaptable chameleon.  I’ve been institutionalized since I was 11, so I knew it was gonna be another institution.  I knew there were certain things I had to learn like how to navigate between judges and counselors and convicts and inmates.

I didn’t really have any troubles, I had a pretty decent level of respect for, prison. People were curious about me, why was I in prison in Alabama? What was this Indian kid doing in a, prison, in Alabama?

On top of that I spoke Spanish and I played basketball, so it was very easy to transfer between a lot of race wars in an Alabama, prison. It was easy to go between White and Black and Mexican inmates.

Understanding How to Use Reiki Energy for Mind and Body

Sponsored Ad 

Two Ten Podcast
Two Ten Podcast

Are you looking to be inspired by 2 Black women who are mothers, as well as doctors?  Then check out the Two Ten Podcast. This podcast chronicles the lives and lived experiences of two professional mothers, who were married by age 20, had professional careers, earned their Doctorate degrees, and each had 5 kids out of their own wombs!

Carol and Aimy each have unique experiences and even though they have reached their goals, they are still dreaming while being relatively young busy moms. Join them on their journey. Check out the Two Ten Podcast on Buzzsprout.com

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Selling Drugs in Prison

I quickly developed a sense of wanting to help, so I started writing motions for people in, prison.  Most inmates didn’t know how to read and write. But in spite of wanting to help and do good, I quickly got back into selling drugs in, prison.

Myrna – How do you sell drugs in, prison?

Rocky – There are certain areas in, prison,  you meet someone that’s for lack of a better term gay and they’re happy putting substances inside of their butt area and they would sneak in drugs for you. They would then clean it out, put it in a certain area, tell you where it is and you go pick it up. I then go bag it up and then redistribute it.

It’s a whole different world inside, prisons. I am smiling now but looking back it was  nerve-wracking and very scary, because if you get caught, you’re in big trouble. Outside of that I liked the time I had to myself in, prison. I read books and journal and make a plan for my life.

I started plans for my business plan in, prison.

Sponsored Ad 

Hey guys! ! Are you wondering how to get back to a normal life and keep your indoor surroundings safe during this pandemic? Then check out The Vollara Air and Surface Pro, a powerful surface and air Purification Unit that helps you, your family and friends experience safer surfaces and breathe healthy air every day .  This unit is extremely effective at safely destroying 99.9 % of viruses , bacteria, mold, toxin , dust and other contaminants. Tested and proven, The Vollara Air and Surface Pro can inactivate the SARS virus also known as Covid19 virus ) both in the air and on surfaces. The Vollara Air and Surface pro is the first Machine of it’s kind to have FDA Clearance.

To learn more and to Order your machine today. Visit thepurifiermachine.com.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Planning your life while inside Prison

When you take your time while you’re in, prison,  to really set goals and set a future up for yourself, when you get out of, prison, you’re already a step ahead versus the person who just

closed their eyes and did their time in, prison.

It’s such an important thing planning and preparing and framing your mind for when you leave, prison. I’ve learned in my life from, sexual abuse, physical abuse,  in , boot camps,  and being beaten in, jail.

Myrna – You have to change your mindset, that is why this the show is called the Transform your Mind podcast. The system feels that when they, incarcerate, people, they felt punishing them by sending them to, prison, or, jail, for a couple of years that they will reform them and change behaviors. But like you said you can go to, prison,  and get worse because drugs are still selling in, prison.

You send someone in there who’s innocent and they come out worse than when they went  in, or you can go to, prison,  and you can get your GED.  Some go to, prison, and had such a horrible time in there that they vow never to go back to, prison.

Sponsored Ad

GRAB ANYTHING. PLACE ANYWHERE. View any Image in Augmented Reality!

Copy, Compare and Shop with AR.

GRAB AR is the revolutionary App that uses AI and AR technology to copy any Image to your device camera and view the Image in your Surroundings. Visualize how objects look in any environment.

INSTALL THE GRAB AR APP & SCAN THE QR CODE BELOW FOR DEMO

Make any of your existing product Images able to be viewed in AR. Now you can generate GRAB AR QR Codes / Mobile Buttons for your product Images with ease! Create your own AR QR Code.

GRAB and view any Image in Augmented Reality, from any Website, using the GRAB AR QR Code Generator Browser Extensions.

https://grabar.app

Child Abuse and Sexual Abuse
Child Abuse and Sexual Abuse

 

Statistics of repeat offenders Recidivism to prison

Myrna – What is the statistics of how many people reform from being sent to, prison, and the percentage of those who are repeat offenders?

Rocky –  I believe our, recidivism, rate in America is close to 70 percent. I went back to, jail, twice after my release from, prison, twice for about a month. The system to be truthful is

almost designed for, recidivism, to make you mess up, so you can go right back to, prison, and serve more time.

Myrna- I would say that you were lucky that your father sent you to India and you used that opportunity to start your hair business. Tell us about your business.

Sponsored Ad 

Hey guys: are you or your loved ones driving for Uber or other rideshares during these uncertain times? Take advantage of this New Year’s special and get an automotive sneeze guard designed to be used inside vehicles. Now only $89, and includes free shipping.

Made out of virtually indestructible polycarbonate; These shields will not crack or shatter. Minutes to install -no tools required

That’s ONLY $89 Includes free , fast shipping  within 5 business days. WOW!
Get yours today sneezeguardian.com

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Planning a successful business from Prison

Rocky – I started my business plan from , prison. Then when I was in India after I left, prison, I had time to meet manufacturers, go to the small markets where they’re selling hair and really do a lot of research. Everything happens for a reason.  I never thought I’d be in India after, prison.  While I was there and everything started falling into place. Within a week I had the name for my business, paid for the domain and then made a Facebook post. I had the ability to learn from an Indian perspective about the manufacturing side before I learned about marketing in the U.S.

Myrna – How can listeners contact you and support your business?

Rocky – My main website and personal blog is hair made https://www.rockykandola.com/

And https://hairmaidenindia.com

You will find links there to all my past podcast episodes.  You’ll have all the businesses that I currently run, from my hair company, to my Tea company, to my vacation rental property company in Florida.

Sponsored Ad

keke-wyatt-keke-covers
keke-wyatt-keke-covers

Keke Wyatt Song Oui from her Keke Covers album. Original song by Jeremih. Listeners can find song on Youtube by searching Keke Wyatt or clicking on the following link:

https://www.youtube.com/c/mskekewyatt/videos

 

Conclusion

In closing I want to remind you to subscribe to the Transform your Mind Podcast YouTube channel or iTunes and please rate and review our podcast.

I would also like to invite you to join my private Facebook group called life coach, we have a lot of life Coaches with daily inspirational messages.

 

Additional Resources

Reflection 4 Rejection: Surviving My Mothers Abandonment and Abuse