Tag Archives: talk therapy

Healing Childhood Traumas with LOVE

When we have, childhood traumas, our natural responses are shut down. We are not able to fight or flee.  This activates our, stress hormones. It changes our body and puts us into a sympathetic state, to ready us to  fight, flight or freeze; but when we can't, when we're impaired, we have to stay frozen in that situation.

Our body's, stress response, does not shut off. Our hormones continue to be elevated. And so, what happens over time, if we are constantly experiencing that stress over and over, it changes our biology.

In this episode Mandy Harvey shares her, LOVE Methodology, to help us return to the parasympathetic state.

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Mandy's childhood trauma

Myrna: How did you get into coaching?

Mandy: I got into this work because of my own trauma and my own healing process. I grew up in trauma.  I was just kind of born into it. I grew up in a home with a single mother who had her own traumas, and as a result that affected my experience with the world. She sometimes was there and sometimes she wasn't. There wasn't always love.

She often had men in the house that were very abusive and that abuse was often directed towards me. She remarried a couple of times in my childhood, but at the age of 14, she and the man that she was married to, took their lives, and it was a result of me coming forward sharing with a counselor at school what had been going on in my home as it related to sexual abuse, and emotional abuse.

Myrna: Wow. Similar to my story,

Mandy: So, my whole world instantly changed. I was placed in a home with family members, and, still kind of grew up with family, but I was very deeply affected as you can imagine by that experience. That was the start of therapy for me. And I spent a couple of years in therapy doing, EMDR therapy, work. Really processing the grief, and the guilt, because I felt very guilty.

Myrna; It was just about to ask you that but was gonna wait for you to finish. But yeah, I mean, gosh, that's huge guilt.

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Feeling guilty for telling

Mandy: I really took on the belief through that guilt, through that process, that I couldn't trust my intuition, that my ability to make a choice for myself would turn out into disaster. And I held that belief for a very long time, throughout my adult years. But as a child I was trying to navigate this guilt and hit a wall. At a certain point, I just couldn't talk about it anymore. My body started to ache. Every day I woke up in pain, physical pain, emotional pain, and I just started to get numb, and number and number and it was just like, I had no relation to the world anymore.

All I could see was this grief. It felt like I was being sucked down into this black hole.  All I could see and feel was just guilt, this pain of suffering, this thought of I just want to be back with my mom, even though it was traumatic, even though it was abusive and neglectful. That's all I knew. And for me that felt like love. As crazy as that sounds.

Myrna: How did you come up with the, LOVE methodology, as therapy.

Mandy: Well, it's something actually it wasn't, it wasn't named love. I named this after a year ago doing this work myself.

There was a moment when my daughter, my youngest daughter, she is someone who exudes emotion from one side of the scale to the other side of the scale from like pure bliss and joy to pure anger and rage. I mean, she has a wide spectrum. And anytime she was over in this rage part of her spectrum, I would get so uncomfortable.

One day she was in a moment of pure temper tantrum screaming she was really mad about something insignificant. And I had my back to her and I was washing the dishes and I could feel like a wave of heat moving through my body. And as I was getting higher and higher,  I could feel the rage. Like I could feel my jaw gets super tight, like, oh my god, I could just scream at her right now. Like she needs to shut up.

And I'm washing the dishes trying to ignore her. And she's just letting loose and finally I turned around, I had a glass in my hand and I threw it at her feet and I said :SHUT UP” she was shocked. That was the first time I'd ever screamed at her. And the look on her face was just fear.

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What is Somatic Experiencing

I started crying. She was crying. She's like, I'm so sorry. I'm a bad person. I didn't mean to upset you, you know like, so we're trying to pick up the glass and I'm crying and thinking like, what is happening? What is going on in me that I immediately revert it like this feeling what is this feeling in my body so I sought out, Somatic Experiencing, therapy work.

Myrna: Did you stop your original therapy at this point?

Mandy: Throughout my adult years, I had been in therapy off and on. So, at this point in time, I had not been to therapy in a while, but over the last 20 years I've been through multiple forms of, talk therapy, processing my abuse, processing the anger towards my mom, processing my childhood over and over again. But this was a whole different level.

And this is why I knew I needed something different because I've been talking about my story for 20 years and I can intellectualize it really simply and be like I know this is why I'm upset and you know that I'm like doing the job for the therapist. Right? But this was like a whole different level of awareness that somehow, I was holding more in my body than I was able to reach through just talking; because our body has a different story than our minds do about what happened to us.

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Releasing childhood traumas with meditation

Myrna: So true, I do this meditation from Dr Joe Dispenza about getting the mind out the body. Actually moving the energy up through the nervous system to the head. It is the Kundalini rising.

Mandy: It makes a lot of sense. We all have traumas that we hold in our bodies, we may not even really be aware of that influence, how we show up our behavior, our thoughts, our actions. But for me, it was once I started that Somatic therapy for about two and a half years. I healed more than I did in the previous 20 years of just talking about it. And it really gave me the tools to understand how to connect to my body, because up to that point. I was like a head, walking around in the world. I had disconnected from my body.

Myrna: So, how do you how do you heal women or help them heal from a stress and trauma using your, LOVE methodology?

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What is the Love Methodology

Mandy: The methodology called LOVE is an acronym. It's four steps, it stands for:

  • Listen- Listen to the thoughts, the beliefs that you that run through your mind on a consistent basis.
  • Observe – observe where you hold them in. Example your body. Where's the predominant location where you hold that thought of, I'm not worthy, or I'm not good enough or whatever that thought is?
  • V is for validated. So oftentimes, we are not taught to validate our emotions or experiences, which sometimes this is a hard step for people, but this is all about, if I feel that unworthiness in my heart space, you know, it's about teaching people how to have compassion for that part that's feeling very unworthy and very unseen. It's giving them a language to tap into that part of them. So, they can make a connection and start to repair and build trust and heal that part and integrate it back into their core self. Use experience. So, experience, meaning or sorry.
  • E is embrace with love. So, what does that part need? Tune into that part, that's feeling unworthy, that's feeling very heavy in my chest. And I get a validation and say, You're right, I can understand why you feel that way. What is it you need from me right now? That kind of sounds a little weird to talk to ourselves like that. But our bodies full of wisdom and insight into what we need in the moment.

So, if it's like, I need a hug. Let's go find someone who can really give you a hug or give yourself something else. Like I need to just sit outside or maybe take a walk, going to walk Great.  But it's in the process of meeting our needs. In the moment learning how to ask for what we need and meeting those needs starts to build up trust again.

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How to talk to ourselves with LOVE

Someone who's been traumatized and holds a lot of stress and anxiety in their body, and most likely be in a sympathetic nervous system state.  In order for us to heal and go deeper into some of the traumas. We must slowly help our nervous systems to release that trauma.

Myrna: So, what is the language that we're using?

Mandy: Well, the language is a little bit different for everyone. And what I mean by that is, my nervous system talks to me in a very specific way. And that might be different than how your nervous system talks to you. So, this is all about first getting people comfortable with recognizing they have a body that’s feeling.

So, for me, anytime I'm stressed my guts, my stomach gets so bloated and in intense discomfort. And the instant I feel that sensation. It's like a switch. I'm like, oh no, I'm feeling stressed right now. Okay, I need to take a minute to acknowledge that you know, reflect what's really making you stressed right now. Or when I would feel like it wasn't safe for me to speak up. I would feel it in my throat. I would feel like I can't swallow.

Childhood traumas and autoimmune disease

Myrna: What is the connection between, Childhood Traumas, and chronic health disease?

Mandy: Yeah. So, when we're a child, and you know, our natural responses are to fight flight or freeze. And when we're tired if we're in an environment that's abusive, or traumatic, and I'll just use mine as an example, if you are sexually abused, I was not able to fight or flee. This activates our stress hormones. It changes our body and puts us into a sympathetic state, to ready us to do those things and fight flight or freeze but when we can't when we're impaired and we have to stay frozen in that situation.

Our body's natural processes don't shut off. They continue to be elevated. In that stress response. And so, what happens over time, if we are constantly experiencing that stress over and over, it changes our biology, in that we become more sensitive to stress we get stressed faster and faster and faster every time that happens.

And it starts to create this low-grade stress response in our bodies and in our brains and sort of affects not just our physical body, but it changes the neuro chemistry in our brain, because of that constant assault. The, stress hormones, are running through our bodies through childhood and then into adulthood, where we have maybe more responsibilities or even more things that we have to be worried about. And starts to really degrade our system because the, stress hormones, are meant to be short bursts to help us get out of that environment, they're not meant to be long term.

So just like you were saying that inflammation over time, deteriorates our gut health, deteriorates our immune system, deteriorates our ability to digest foods.

The stress response to traumas

Myrna: a little bit more about your work, the LOVE methodology, the soothing way to heal many traumas, tell our listeners where they can connect with you and the kind of trauma that they need help with. Talk about your website, talk about your social media handles, and this is the time where we talk about your work.

Mandy: Awesome. Thank you. Yeah, I do I share that, LOVE methodology, in a few different ways. So, I do corporate speaking, I love to reach out to companies who are interested in helping develop their employees through health and wellness. Helping them manage their stress, learning how to regulate their nervous systems. And in those talks, and in those workshops, I often share this, LOVE methodology, because it's something very simple. You can do even at work. You can do it for five minutes. You can do it longer, but it's an empowering tool that can help you start to take control over experiences that you  feel like you don't have control.

And it can help you try to limit and shift how you are triggered in the workplace. So that's one place in which I share that. And then I also work one on one with people and do healing sessions. And so, in those healing sessions, we will leverage this methodology sometimes in one session. And other times maybe it's introduced over a series of sessions to emphasize that. And then here locally where I'm at I do guided hiking sessions where we hike and heal. I'm in Colorado.

What I would like to share with your audience is on my website, free downloads, video and a workbook that goes over this, LOVE methodology. So that's on the front page of my website. My website is www.Mandylharvey.com. My Instagram is @MandylHarvey

Additional Resources

What is the Connection Between Childhood Trauma and Autoimmune Disease?

Healing Trauma With EFT Tapping

EFT tapping is psychological acupressure. It combines ancient Chinese wisdom using our, energy meridians, the lifeforce that flows through in our body.  If we have past trauma that didn't fully release and we're simply just trying to feel better without addressing it, then it's probably going to still be running in our subconscious mind. So, EFT tapping allows us to clear it down to that subconscious level.

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Bio

Theresa Lear Levine is the founder of Becoming More Me where she helps professional women to get out of their own way and resolve their innermost pains, traumas and challenges so they can fully enjoy their success and present moments. She does this by using scientifically proven methods that help them to release what's currently holding them back and leverage their perceived weaknesses into superpowers.

By utilizing Theresa's unique approach to the, Emotional Freedom Technique, her clients have overcome nervousness and difficult situations such as preparing for big presentations, overcoming their fear of flying, and transitioning through divorce. Theresa’s personal struggles with past traumas, high functioning anxiety, and ADHD kept her in an ego driven holding pattern of dissatisfaction and stress for longer than she likes to admit.

Theresa is the host of the Becoming More Me Podcast and lives near Washington, DC with her husband, Jeff, and their 4 boys as well as their 2 yellow labs.

Myrna: How did you transform personal struggles with past traumas, high functioning anxiety, and ADHD to becoming an EFT master practitioner and health coach?

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Journey to EFT master practitioner

Theresa: Absolutely. And I wish I could say I figured it all out overnight and I'm here today, but it was a long and winding road. I always had ADHD that's there's no doubt about that. I didn't get diagnosed until my early 40s. And that kind of brought a new bag along with other things to figure out, but it was always apparent, and then your life brings about trauma for all of us. And I think a lot of us can get into a pattern of comparing our traumas and thinking mine isn’t that bad.  As I got into my 20s, and into my first marriage, and that ended in divorce after we had our first child, and there's so much that needed to be worked through.

I remarried and had 3 more kids. And I think that's when my ADHD really started to be more of a struggle for me, I couldn't juggle as well. There was more to keep up with and after I had my third child, I started a business from home doing more, more of the coaching and things that I had been used to focus mainly then on like nutrition, fitness, that kind of stuff. And very quickly as I was evolving in consciousness, I was realizing that I really wanted something deeper. I considered myself a personal development junkie. I always felt like I was learning and understanding things, but not being able to apply them to my life and make them work.

That's when I learned more about, nervous system regulation, in conjunction with, energy psychology and modern psychology and really was able to start getting out of my own way, locating places where my own energy was blocked. EFT has been around for decades. I have seen it used with Olympic athletes. I had seen it used with war veterans. I had seen it used with people who had worse trauma than me. It was that comparison again, where I was like, oh, I don't need this modality. This isn't what I need.

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EFT tapping works for everyone

I was a mom of three or four kids at the time and I just wanted to sleep through the night not be stressed, feel more connected in my marriage. lose a few pounds, you know, just it seemed like basic things, but they were all adding up to and I didn't realize that it was that same modality that helped war veterans or Olympic athletes. That could help me too.

And as soon as I opened up to that and realize the universal effectiveness and the scientific backing behind it and started using it, it was like that wall that was in front of me that was immobilizing me I was able to just cut right through it instead of trying to go around it or climb over it so it can be that really opened up the door because you can apply it then to pretty much anything and everything and I always find that when I'm working with people who are skeptical at first, the best of you apply it to something tangible.

Myrna; So, can we like expand on that? What exactly is, EFT tapping, and why does EFT have greater efficacy and speed than other healing modalities especially for trauma?

Theresa: EFT is a psychological acupressure you could say it combines ancient Chinese wisdom using our meridians our meridians are what our lifeforce flows through in our body, and we use these different points along them combined with modern day psychology. And by tapping our fingertips on these, Meridian points, the same point that if you were to go and have acupuncture done or a deep tissue massage, they will be inserting needles or pressing really hard. In EFT all we need to do is light fingertip pressure on some of these different points while we're focusing on the negative thing or the challenge, and giving it a voice.

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EFT tapping moves energy through your body

This allows the, energy blockage, to flow through.  An energy blockage is the source of any disease we have in our body. It allows those things to break free so that we transform the way that we feel about things. And what is really cool about EFT is that whether it is something emotional, or physical, it's effective on both.  Whether it's something that happened a really long time ago, something that's happening in your life right now, or something that you're worried or anxious about that hasn't and may never happen in your life.

I always find that when I'm working with people who are skeptical at first, the best thing is to apply it to something tangible, something physical.  That headache or a backache or something that you're really going to notice a difference or a shift immediately versus other things that it's equally effective on like money blocks or limiting beliefs or fears.  It works, obviously without any needles like, meridians acupuncture, we're just, tapping.

You can get right to the amygdala, that little walnut shaped part of your brain that's in charge of fight or flight. You're doing this instead of talk therapy, where you're more in the frontal lobes of the brain working, this cuts right to the chase of that, fight or flight, impulse that we all have, and it comes back along with your emotions and allows you to really access a new feeling about things and allows things to transform very naturally.

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Negative emotions from Trauma get stuck

And it also addresses the negative which I think a lot of people choose to overlook these days. Everybody just wants to feel better, be positive, that toxic positivity is kind of crazy. And we can't genuinely feel better and feel positively until we address the negative underlying things that are going on. And then once we do it's kind of like tilling the field to plant seeds, you now have this fertile soil where that what you want to plant can actually grow versus getting overtaken by the weeds or the negative emotions so to speak, that are still there.

So, it really helps for that and when you're thinking about it in the way of trauma. If we have a past trauma that didn't fully release and we're simply just trying to feel better without addressing it, then it's probably going to still be running in our subconscious mind in one way or another. So, EFT really allows us to clear it down to that subconscious level. And to do so very gently. A lot of people, they've been through something really difficult or really traumatic in their past. It's hard to talk about it and some forms of therapy can be traumatic themselves.

So, EFT is incredibly gentle. It's amazing how much progress that you can get without even having to go into great detail or tell the entire story or anything else you can really start to shift things and feel differently and also to feel more comfortable without sharing more of it than you would without the, nervous system regulation. EFT also works on a genetic level, like with epigenetic discoveries and things that are happening the way that our genes express can be affected by this type of work with, EFT tapping. There's a lot of studies going on about that right now. But things that we thought were once unchangeable, like our genetics, were able to see how much power we have over changing even marine power.

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

Tapping the meridian points moves energy

Myrna: Dr Joe Dispenza’s work deals with epigenetics.  You were talking about the, issues in our tissues, I have an episode on this topic, we do hold trauma in our tissues. Now, to the point where you just mentioned regarding the, meridian points, being almost the same as when you have acupuncture, I've never had acupuncture, but I've seen where they have the needles and things like that, but I don't think I've ever seen needles in the head. And I was asked to do some, tapping, a few weeks back, and I was asked to tap on my head. Tap above my breastbone and then tap certain points in my head. So can we talk about where normally that people tap.

Theresa: Absolutely, before EFT tapping came to be known the way that it is with the points that I'm going to share in a minute. There was a predecessor to it, where there was a lot of different brilliant end points that would get put into these formulas for people.  So, let's say that you were afraid of flying and you went to get one of these formulas created. They would tell you to tap certain number of times and a certain place and this map would be specific for you. It was also ridiculously expensive.  But when Gary Craig, who's known as the founder of EFT, learned all of this and figured out that we really only needed a certain number of points to create this energetic overhaul.

Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast
Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

EFT Tapping meridian points

He made this accessible to everybody. So, the main points that we're using in EFT are:

  • The side of our hand which is known as the karate chop point.
  • The top of the head.
  • We use the eyebrow, where the hair on the eyebrow starts near the nose.
  • We use the side of the eye,
  • We use under the eye,
  • Under the nose,
  • Under the mouth,
  • The collarbone, not actually the bone, it's kind of that mid chest point that sometimes called a sore spot.
  • We use under the arm.

If you hit all those spots, while focusing on that one thing that's bothering you, and you're hitting all those spots, well voicing it in the right way and everything else, then you're going to clear the energy around the issue because you've used all of those different spots. That's not to say that you can't clear it with just one like that.

The collarbone point is one of my favorites, one that you mentioned, a lot of times when I'm just sitting here talking with people, I'll just tap my collarbone or when I'm doing initially meeting with clients, a lot of times they start to share more you know emotional things and they'll start to get choked up, and I'll just say, hey, let's just tap or collarbones while we're talking.

Transform Your Mind Podnews
Transform Your Mind Podnews

EFT Tapping vs Talk Therapy

Myrna: So that's amazing. So when you do the, EFT tapping, you're combining tapping with, talk therapy. And while you talking the energy is passing through your body? Is it like the energy that's in our, chakra systems, or are this is more than emotional energy?

Theresa: Yes, and yes, both. I love that. I mean, if you're familiar with the, chakra system, we can talk about that because even when my clients have no idea what an, energy portal, or the, chakra system, is, I still am using that behind the scenes in my own understanding of what's going on with them. And for those that want to geek out on it with me, I'm always sharing little tidbits. But our chakra system is beautifully engineered.

It all has to do with the energetic container that you have created in your energy system and your chakras. So, I am always looking at those lower chakras to see what happened when a client's nervous system from their earliest years. The things that you know their inner child has been through or their inner teen or their inner young adult, their inner anybody up until this present moment.

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Transform Your Mind Podcastland

EFT can heal fear of flying

EFT can be used like a band aid and it can also be used for that like deeper wound cleanout when you want true healing. So, in the case of fear of flying, let's say that you've never done, EFT tapping, before and you're getting ready to get on a plane. It's not like you have time to meet with me a few times and actually get to the root of it and figure it out. But you do have time to do some of the band aid style tapping where you could feel a heck of a lot better on that flight and feel a lot more relaxed with some stuff that just addresses the in the moment feelings that are happening.  The negative energy and so on and so forth.

But let's say on your first leg of the trip and you've still got to fly back. You probably are gonna need to do the exact same thing when you fly back because we didn't get to the root of the problem. We just calmed things temporarily for you, but that's beautiful and valuable. It's kind of like when people go to see a psychiatrist to work on things and they get prescribed a medicine so that they can relax enough to actually be able to do the work. It is the equivalent of the medicine that allows you to relax enough to do the work.

Women in particular, need to have, EFT tapping, in their toolbox.

Conclusion

Myrna: How can readers can get in touch with you. I think you have some video gifts that you want to, share with the audience of how they can try this.

Theresa: My website is https://theresalearlevine.com/ The links to my podcast “Becoming More Me” ways that you can get in touch and all the other things that you might have questions about. If you're on Instagram I am @ https://www.instagram.com/theresalearlevine/