How to Maintain a Long-Term Relationship

Maintaining long- term Relationships

 

When it comes to a, long-term relationship, with a partner or spouse, we can maintain the thrill of being in love, and deepen our feelings of passion and intimacy past the first year.  Statistics show that most, long-term relationships start out to fizzle after the first year.  So to maintain the, long-term relationship, dance you have to embrace, intimacy.

However, to do this means avoiding certain behaviors, habits, and traps that, long-term relationships,  commonly fall into the longer they stay together. Staying in, love, means taking the hard road and differentiating from negative past influences. It means challenging our own defenses and facing our, often subconscious, fears about intimacy.

Fighting for a, long-term relationship, means being stubborn about not getting in our own way of staying close to someone else.

Today on Mindset Transformation Radio and podcast, we are continuing with our series on the The Alchemy of Desire – The, Long-Term Relationship, Dance.

My co -host for this series is my girl pal the fabulous Ms Margo Blake. Margo is a One Taste Intimacy Coach and, I am a Mindset Coach. Together we want to share our knowledge on this Topic “The Alchemy of Desire and Intimacy”

What is Desire – Desire can be called the feminine face of God! Desire is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.

We all Desire to be in loving fulfilling, long-term relationships, with our partners, our children, our friends and co-workers. We desire to have successful careers, some of us desire to procreate and have children, we desire to be emotionally and physically healthy, we desire to be wealthy, and today we are going to touch on the desire for flow in our, long-term relationship, and not ebb.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

 

The Dance of Intimacy

Anyone in a, long-term relationship, knows the, relationship, dance well. It took me a while to understand this dance of, intimacy. I walked out of my first marriage at age 21 declaring boldly “I am no longer in love with my husband and I refuse to live in a loveless marriage at age 21.” After 4 marriages I now know that relationships EBB and FLOW and that we must work at, intimacy Erotic love, turns into, Agape love. Passion and desire EBB and FLOW.

In all my, long-term relationships, fighting and then having, make up sex, was usually the shock than rejuvenated the, relationship.

In the beginning of anything there is more energy just as electrify is more powerful at the source, feelings are more powerful when they are new.

As feelings change and familiarity sets in the, intimacy, dance begins. Just as you have to practice the waltz on the dance floor, in a similar way you must practice your, long-term relationship, dance in the bedroom.

It is important to understand why you and your partner connected in the first place and why you disconnected.

Since all relationships begin within, the scenery out there is the scenery in here.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

You have to love yourself first in a long-term relationship

You can’t give away what you don’t have. You have to be, love, before you can give away, love. So the first step when you become aware of the, EBB and Flow, in your relationship is to take an inventory of  your, self love.

In our first episode I introduced the book The Alchemy of Desire. In this book the lovers were passionate and couldn’t keep their hands off each other, then life happened and, intimacy, veined.

Every, long-term relationship, faces this junction of lack of, desire.  Once, long-term relationships, become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again. To the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy  if a, long-term relationship, is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity attention and nurture of earlier times is essential.

Relationship Advice How to Water your Long-term relationship

Here is some, relationship advice, In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and sunlight if they are to thrive.

We water our, long-term relationships, by showing interest in our partners. We shine light on our, relationships, by smiling and being genuinely happy to see our partners.

I was at a stand-up comedy show with Mike Epps a few years back and he made a joke about how his wife would meet him at the door with a beer and loving embrace when they were first married, and now she shrugs and says oh it’s you!

I am genuinely happy to see my husband walk through the door and when he calls me during the day. I let him know that I appreciate him thinking about me.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
https://tunein.com/podcasts/Motivational/Transform-your-Mind-p1102799/TuneIn Radio

The marriage relationship is an important piece of the, long term relationship, dance

Myrna – Margo what is your take on the, long-term relationship, dance? Personally you have mentioned several times that your, long-term relationships, end after 10 years. What does the dance look like to you?

Margo – I don't know why but my, long term relationships, always seem to last only 10 years.  The men leave me.

Myrna – Looking back can you see the point when the, long-term relationship, ebb resulted in a break? How can anyone listening understand  that ebb into a flow?

Myrna – What are some tips to keep Desire flowing instead of ebbing?

  • spend quality time together
  • be open to new experiences – if your partner likes to do something be open to new
  • show your love, don't hold back
  • keep your identity as an individual
  • don't be defensive in communication, be open in communication
  • be generous, give as you would want to receive

Understand that there is Eff and Flow in all Long-term relationships

If you find yourself in, Ebb and flow, should you panic or understand that is the flow of life that what goes up must come down.

It is fact that whenever you lean in to a relationship the other person leans out.  That is the make up of, long-term relationships, there is, ebb and flow.

Have you been dealt some bad cards in life? Understand Ebb and flow of life 

Then I invite you to an afternoon of learning and inspiration on “How to deal with the cards you have been dealt in Life”
This event will be at the Main Broward Library at 100 South Andrews Ave , 6 th floor, Fort Lauderdale, FL
on Saturday May 12 from 2.00 to 4.30 pm
Come out and be a part of our studio audience.
The first 5 guests will get a FREE autographed copy of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
This is a book signing and a live talk radio show airing locally on WDJY 99.1 FM Metro Atlanta
If you need more information, email me at info@myhelps.us

Additional Resources

5 Mindset Shifts For Couples to Have Fantastic Relationships

The Alchemy of Desire: The Power of Attention

Attention, is the magical process of that facilitates the transformation of your desire, to reality. This Alchemy of, desire, allows this transformation to happen faster if we empower it with, attention.

In this episode we are going to teach you how to use the, Power of Attention, to manifest all your dreams and desires.

What is, desire, – desire, can be called the feminine face of God! I love this sentence! desire, is what God places in your spirit to lead you to your purpose. It is the key that unlocks what God placed you on this earth to do.

The Alchemy of Desire

We, desire, our partners physically and spiritually,

  • we, desire, our careers,
  • we, desire, to procreate and have children,
  • we, desire, to be emotionally and physically healthy,
  • we, desire, to be wealthy
  • but most of all we, desire, to fulfill our purpose on this earth and leave it a better place then we found it.

We talked about how to manifest the, desires,  of your Heart. The first step is knowing what you want. The second step is adding, attention, to it.

We talked on how to use the, Energy of Desire, to create something magical. If you missed those 2 episodes, please listen to then my iTunes podcast

Power of Attention

Today I want to talk about the “Power of Attention”
• Now that we know what we want.
• We know how to use the energy of, attention, to engage the laws of attraction.
• Now we want to light our, desire, afire with, Attention.”

You remember as a kid you would hold a magnet over a piece of paper and have the, attention, of the sun light the paper afire?  That is what the, Power of Attention, can do to your, desires.

So, lets dive right in.

Using the power of attention to attract your soulmate

Tune in to Sticher to listen to my guest tell her personal story of using, The Power of Attention, after her divorce to attract her soulmate.

The word, desire, does not only belong with, sexual desires. As a, Mindset Coach, today I want to show you how the energy of, Power of Attention, to transform your, desires, into something magical.

Activating The power of Attention

Attention,  is your power source. Rarely does a quality life just show up by chance. What you give your, attention, to expands.
If you want your dream to come through, you have to do more than dream. You must focus your, attention, and activate, the power of Attention.

The power source for having an Intention that comes through is, Attention. What you pay, Attention, to will grow.

If your intention comes from the level of your true self, it can attract anything. Attention, activates the, energy of Attraction.

Every wish or, desire, is like a tiny seed that contains the blueprint for the tree that manifests from the seed. The seed of, desire, which is also the seed of any Intention needs nourishment to grow.

How to Manifest your Desire

If you want your, desire, to manifest here are some important ways to put the right, attention, on it:

1. Have a clear intention or goal; don't muddy it with doubt and fear regarding why it won't come true.

2. Have positive emotions around your, desire. Feel how good it will be to fulfill it and hold it in your hands.

3. Believe that what you want is beneficial to you without any negative consequences to those around you.

4. Be prepared for any response the Universe brings and be flexible to where you go from there.

5. Feel confident that hidden sources will come to your aide once your, desires, are released to the universe.

6. Find time to meditate on your, desires. At the level of the soul, the energy of attraction, is most powerful.

 

Using the Power of Attention for Love

Margo, how can someone use the, Power of Attention, to change someone’s feelings about them?

I have known lot of men who are able to woo women by paying them, attention. I have been on the receiving end of, attention, that changed my feelings for a partner a few times in my life. My Pastor once said that women are responders, I agree.

In our last blog post we talked about 4 of the ways renowned sexologist Jaiya believes that we are wired. We discussed the:

  • Energetic,
  • the Sensual,
  • the Sexual and
  • the Kinky sexual types.

 

  • Jaiya is the author of Red Hot Touch? Today I though we could look at the Shape Shifter who can be all those energies.

Here are the 5 Sexual or Erotic Blueprints.

6. Energetic: Turned on by space, tease and anticipation.
7. Sensual: Turned on by comfort, relaxation and all the senses ignited.
8. Sexual: Turned on by nudity and flat out sexual intercourse.
9. Kinky: Turned on by the taboo and power play.
10. Shapeshifter: Turned on by all of the above.

Margo, since today we are looking at ,The Power of Attention, how can a woman who is the, Shape Shifter, to create something magical in the bedroom?

This episode of the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast is being brought to you by Hypnosis Everywhere and M-I-X- A-M-O-R-E.

Today we talked about, The Power of Attention, and to use this energy to create transformation in your lives.

I want to leave you with this thought. When all three legs of the tripod are in place –

  • Focused Attention,
  • Flexible consciousness
  • and pure awareness; the path is open.

 

You become the conscious master, the Energy of Attraction, is activated.

There are certain things that hinder the manifestation of, desire. Severe obstacles such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, substance abuse and toxic relationships block the manifestation of your desires. It gets tangled up in personal problems.
So be sure to meditate on your, desires, and rid yourself of toxicity either from substance abuse or toxic relationships.

If you found this episode inspirational or you learned anything, Please subscribe to my Itunes podcast and rate and review this Episode, so we can be encouraged to bring you more episodes every week.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/

 

http://blog.myhelps.us/alchemy-desire-episode-5-long-term-relationship-dance/