Does your unhappiness have a purpose? Does your negativity change anything? The answer is no, so why do we choose it?
I just finished reading the book The Power of The Now by Eckhart Tolle and he made the statement that we chose unhappiness even though it serves no purpose. He asked the does your unhappiness change anything?
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Childhood unhappiness: Did it serve you
The book the Course in Miracles states that we believe that when we are unhappy our unhappiness buys us what we want. Not true in fact it pushes what you want further away.
Take a child who has conscious parents. Let’s say the child decides to throw a temper tantrum because they want to watch TV or they want a toy or candy. Any good parent will not give it to them, in fact if my kids threw a tantrum or cried for anything, they never got that thing. Just recently my foster daughter cried because she wanted to watch TV and she thought crying and carrying on would get her TV instead the TV was removed from her room. So, if crying and unhappiness did not get us what we wanted as children, why do you still use it as adults?
All negativity is resistance. Negativity ranges from irritation to fierce anger.
The ego believes that through negativity, it can change reality and get what it wants. It believes that through unhappiness it can attract a desirable condition or dissolve an undesirable one.
If your mind did not believe that unhappiness works, then why would it create it?
Negativity keeps undesirable conditions in place
The fact is that negativity does not work; instead of attracting a desirable condition, it stops it from arising. Instead of resolving an undesirable one it keeps if in place.
Its only useful function of negativity, is that it strengthens the ego and that is why the ego loves it.
What is the ego? The ego is that portion of the human personality which is experienced as the “self” or “I” and is in contact with the external world through perception.
No other life form on the planet knows negativity, only humans. Just as no other life form poisons the earth that sustains it. Have you ever seen 2 ducks fight? They fight and then go their separate ways and then flap their wings to release the negativity and they are done. Humans carry around that negativity for decades. He did that to me! This negativity becomes, depression.
There is a line in the Matrix that says that Humans destroy their environment or land and then moves on the next place. What are you destroying with your unhappiness?
What is the purpose of unhappiness
Think about it. Has nagging your spouse ever resulted in him becoming the spouse that you want them to be or did it have the opposite effect? That is why the Bible teaches that a man would rather live on the roof top than live in a house with a nagging wife.
So today, I want to shine a light on unhappiness. Why do we create it if it does not get us what we want?
There are life situations that create unhappiness
How to be happy: we have 3 choices:
- We can remove ourselves from the situation
- We can change how we think about the situation
- Or we can accept the situation completely.
These are the options in, how to be happy. What good does it we do none of the these things, but just live with unhappiness? If you can successfully find which negative behavioral and cognitive patterns are making you unhappy, and address them, you’ll be able to start feeling happier in less time than you may think.
I will tell you what it does. It creates disease in the body and sends you to an early grave, but it never gets you what you want. Unhappiness serves no purpose other than to make you sick.
Even if you throw a temper tantrum and you get the toy in the store or your spouse gives in. Ultimately your unhappiness returns. It is only temporarily satiated.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna.