How to Be Successful:10 Secrets to Success

October 7, 2022

How to Be Successful:10 Secrets to Success

I want to share 10, secrets to success, that are also my, secrets to success. I do believe that, success, leaves Clues. I have not achieved ultimate, success; I am still working towards it, but I am, successful, because I have succeeded in all the goals, I have set for myself.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11431435-10-secrets-of-my-success.mp3?download=true

Definition of success

So, what is the, definition of success? Success, is defined the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.

We all think that, success, means the attainment of wealth and furthermore we think wealth is millions in the bank. But let me share with you a secret, you are wealthier that 95% of the world if you have a savings account, if you have a jar of coins, if you have food to eat and a roof over your head.

You are considered, successful, if you have achieved eminence which means you have a successful career or profession. How many of you know that you could have a PHD and be recognized with all kind of awards and accolades and still live in poverty. I say all that to say that I am, successful, even though I have not yet achieved great wealth.

My story is probably similar to a lot of people who achieved, success. Most successful people start off with nothing and I am no exception.

How to be successful

I was born in British Guyana, in South America. When I was born Guyana was very a poor country, it still is a Third World country. Both my mom and my grandmother were domestic servants and we didn’t have much. My Dad taught me at a very early age the value of education to elevate ourselves out of poverty. He was very smart. When I was born he was in Teachers College and went on to get his PH.D in in London in his early thirties. This is the first step in, how to be successful, education.

I’m submerging myself right now in the book “The Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton and I’m understanding from Dr. Lipton, that genes give us 50% of our character and the other 50% comes from the environment we grew up in. Looking back, I can say that as a child, because I was the first born, I was cocooned in love so, the environment that I grew up in, kind of nullified the poverty thing.

Self Improvement Book: Out of the Snares — Out of the Snares of poverty, and abuse

10 Secrets to Success

So let me share with you the 10, secrets of my success, as recorded in my book Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement.

Secret # 1- Don’t be a victim. Many women in the black community have been molested as children and I was one of them. We could use that story to become a, victim, of our circumstances and that stifles, success, because, victims, have no power. A, victim mentality, says that somebody did something to you and that person has the power over you. Instead, you need to become as a Player. When you are a player, I use the analogy of a blackjack game, regardless of what the dealer is showing, regardless of where you are and your circumstances right now, regardless of what you see physically in front of you, you can still play to win.

Rewrite Your Story

Secret # 2 – Don’t be defined by where you start out, rewrite your story. In the movie Maid in Manhattan with Jennifer Lopez. Jennifer Lopez was a maid and she lied about who she was so she could date a Senator, when she was found out and fired from the hotel, her manager told her just because we serve others, we are not their servants. They are no better than us because they have money. You are not inferior because you were born on the wrong side of the tracks or in a poor country. Your intelligence can take you from there and transplant you in the land of the riches. Another story I want to share with you is about Sydney Pottier. I was just watching his documentary on Netflix and he shared that he never saw lights, running water, a school nothing. He was born in a poor part of the Bahamas and when he first went to Nassau and saw the other side of how people lived, he was amazed.

Then he moved to Miami and started delivering food and encountered racism where because he was black, he was considered not worthy of anything. So he moved to Harlem where he saw for the first time, successful blacks. He decided to try his luck at acting, but he couldn’t read. He taught himself to read by reading the newspaper and got rid of his accent by mimicking a radio personality and he went on to become the first African American to win an academy award and star in the most iconic films. So regardless of where you start out in life you can always, rewrite your story.

Podbay FM Transform Your Mind Podcast — Podbay FM

Secrets to Success: An abundant mindset

Secret #3 – Develop an abundant mindset – When I was a child, my parents were poor but I had a very wealthy Godfather. I spent a lot of time at his house and he treated me like one of his grandchildren. Because of my association with my godfather, I never wanted for anything. When I became an adult, this, abundant mindset, helped me always look at a glass half full instead of half empty.

I immigrated to Toronto, Canada at 17 years old. I immediately got a good job at a bank with no experience. After a couple of years, I decided to go to college. Canada is a country with lots of benefits. I was able to go back to school for free, unemployment insurance from my job paid for my schooling. I graduated with a degree in computer science and I decided to go to sell computers because I understood that that’s where the most money was.

When you have an, abundant mindset, you look at the world as having everything you need and you don’t see lack. Because of this you attract into your experience abundance.

Secrets to success: Unleash the power within

Secrets to success, #4 – Unleash the power within. As I mentioned, after graduating from College, I took a job selling computers. A couple years into selling computers, my company received an invitation to attend a free seminar with Tony Robbins called, Unleash the power within. How many of you know that everything you need to be successful in life is pre-loaded into you at birth.

Joel Osteen says, we are all like a luxury car, we come pre-loaded with all kinds of luxury features and all we have to do is read the manual to figure out how to work them. Unleash the Power within, opened up to me my pre-loaded characteristics, I went into that seminar as a salesperson, I came out of that seminar an entrepreneur. Two months later, I started my own limousine service and went on to become the largest female operator in Toronto, Canada and winning the Entrepreneur of the year award.

Secret to Success, #5 – Persistence, never give up. If you have a goal or dream, never give up on it. My favorite mantra is “If you build it, they will come.” I have had several goals and dreams that I stuck with and, never gave up. My book “Out of the Snares” reads like a suspense novel as I give details about achieving my dream of becoming an American Citizen. I, never gave up; it took me 3 tries and 10 years but, in the end, I received this benefit.

I also kept looking for love, I have been married quite a few times until I found the man of my dreams.

I started my radio show and podcast 7 years ago and kept building and building. I knew I had to put in the time and finally, I have achieved, success. So, make persistence your top characteristic and never ever give up on your dreams.

Secrets to Success: Guidance from your higher self

Secrets to success, #6 – be open to guidance from the Divine or your, Higher self. You have to live consciously to be in communication with your spirit guide. I know now that the things that we see and the things that we pay attention to, is the universe speaking to us and directing us to our purpose.

The way to open yourself up to guidance from your, higher self, is to meditate and quiet your mind. I am most open to inspiration when I wake up in the morning and I act on all my inspiration messages so as to keep them coming.

Secret to success, #7 – Action. I am not one of those people who think about things for years and do nothing. I get inspiration and I move. Case in point. One day I was flipping through a newspaper and I saw the word Life coach under the name of one of my church members. I had never heard or seen that word before.

I was reading this book at the time and the author was saying that if you would like to find out how someone is achieving success buy them lunch or dinner and pick their brains. So, I invited my church sister to lunch and asked her everything I needed to know about becoming a Life coach. I didn’t waste any time, I took,action. I was enrolled in University of Miami coaching program the next month! Like I said, I move, I take, action.

About a year after becoming a, Life Coach, I received an invitation to be a guest on a radio show and talk about my, secrets to success, The show was aired on WDJY 99.1 Metro Atlanta. Hype Media Global owned the station and they loved my personality and my content and offered me my own show! The rest is history. The radio show turned into a podcast and a television show on Preach The Word Worldwide Television Network , Action, is the first step to the rest of your life.

Secret to Success: learn as you go

Secrets to success, # 8 – Jump in and, learn as you go. As I mentioned, when Hype media offered me my own show, I didn’t hesitate by saying I don’t know what to do. I had to learn to interview, I had to learn to produce my own show and then learn how to convert it to a podcast. I learned as I went on, then I had to learn how to write a blog, then I had to learn how to edit my website, how to do SEO, Etc. I am still learning every day.

Secrets to success, #9 – practice meditation. There are so many benefits to, meditation. For me, meditation, allows me to control my energy and vibration. When you relax your body and quite your mind from thoughts of the past or future you are able to concentrate on the, present moment. The, present moment, is the only thing that matters, it is really a present.

The benefit for me is that I know that when I have positive vibration, I attract the good things. If you want to be, successful, you need to engage the, laws of attraction, to bring you what you dream about. The only way to do this is to control your energy. Meditation, relaxes mind body so that your spirit which is your, subconscious mind, can get to work. This is how you become the co-creator of your life. So, meditate and concentrate on what you want because where attention goes, energy flows!

Secret to success: Transform Your Mind

Secrets to success, #10 – Transform your mind, I encourage everybody that’s listening to this podcast or reading this blog, to look at what beliefs and behaviors are not serving you and replace them. It is not easy because most of us live unconsciously, but awareness is key.

Look for the opportunity in any setback. I’m an optimist. I am not sure when this started, but I’m an optimist. Optimism is one of the foundations to, secrets to success, anytime something happens to me or I receive any kind of push-back, I look for the opportunity in it. What I’m talking about is, transform your mind, to obstacles or setbacks; when one door closes another door opens. Don’t spend too much time looking in the rear-view mirror, you are not going that way.

I was working for Office Depot when Office Depot and OfficeMax merged and they fired me and gave me a great severance package. I had worked for Office Depot for ten years. With that severance package, I started my own business and went into it full time. I never looked back. I had coworkers who wallowed in self-pity. What am I going to do? How am I going to find a job at 50 years old? Cry, cry.

I heard Oprah say it a different way.

The sun is always there even when the clouds are covering it. The sun is still shining underneath, you just can’t see it. Always look for the silver lining, if you look for it, you will find it.

Live your life with intention. Intention is energy, it’s thought. Before you do anything, it first has to be a thought in your brain. Before you can hold anything in your hand you first have to hold it in your head.

These are my, secrets to my success; I hope you can make them yours.

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into, Transformation Fridays, with coach Myrna. I hope you were inspired today and look at, success, differently. I hope to see you back here next week for another episode of, Transformation Fridays. Until then Namaste

Additional Resources

How to Unleash The Power Within

August 3, 2022September 27, 2022

The Path to Self-Mastery

How does professional sports equip us for, self-mastery? Pro golfer Thane Marcus Ringler, Life coach and Author shares the path to, self-mastery.

In the guest chair today is Thane Marcus Ringler, a former pro golfer turned writer, speaker, collaborator, and entrepreneur and author of the new book “From Here to There – A Quarter-Life Perspective on the Path to, Mastery,”

After competing for nearly four years as a professional golfer, he transitioned out of the world of golf into his new endeavors as coach.
Can you share your journey to becoming a professional golfer and how it marries to your life today as a coach, collaborator and podcaster. There must be a story in there why you actually give up golf, love to hear it.

Journey to self-mastery

My journey like everyone’s life and path is a journey. Journeys take lots of time and usually involve lots of failure and mine is no doubt the same. I started playing golf when I was really young. My dad got me into it and I really enjoyed playing. I was a competitive kid so anything with competition in sports I was in.

In golf, there wasn’t anyone else responsible for your successes. Your path to, self-mastery, depends on only you. I felt like I had the most control in my success. As I progressed it became clear it was something that I could really build. My focus kind of narrowed on golf in high school. I started dropping other sports so that I could really focus on golf. I ended up playing in college at Masters University in California. I worked on, self-mastery, for four years in college.

It was clear that I had the skills to be a professional golfer. So, I decided to give it a shot. In my senior year, I created the business plan and the structure around getting the financing to play professional golf. I got 10 to 11 sponsors and investors to back me. So, when I graduated, I was able to turn professional right away, upon leaving college in May of 2014. That kind of kicked off my four-year journey of playing professional golf.

Professional Golf teaches mastery

It takes a professional golfer about 10 years to get from, here to there, there being the PGA tour, and to self-mastery, the ultimate goal for every professional golfer. It’s not an overnight thing. There’re the people that you know, Tiger Woods, Jordan Spieth and Phil Mickelson and the 1% of the 1% the superstars. Everyone else it takes an average of 10 years to get from, here to there, and to, self-mastery,

My first year was a lot of failure, and a lot of learning. It was this process of development and, self-mastery, the process of learning how to develop and grow as a human very much at the same time.

As a golfer I started to learn to grow and improve and see some slow signs of growth and success. About two years into the journey after I’ve gotten partial status, I started to face a systemic injury which started in 2016. It was a muscle strain in my back. Many different factors combined and that kicked off about a year-and-a-half journey of failing to rehab correctly, failure of treating the symptom versus the injury. When I did reach the end of those first three and a half years, it became clear that my body wasn’t 100 % healed.

But the bigger thing that happened was at my desires and giftings and abilities had kind of shown a different purpose. I felt more called to coach, so I made the decision this last December to transition out of Golf.

Finding true purpose

I truly believe what I’m doing now is my purpose. I believe that golf equipped me for my true purpose. I think that the journey of professional golf was a hyper-focused form of personal development and, self-mastery, because golf again is an arena where at the end of the day you have to take 100% ownership of your career, your life and your success because there’s no one to blame but yourself if you don’t succeed.

There are no coaches, there’s no teammates, there’s no referee, there’s no other external factors that you can blame for winning or losing. You have to take that ownership upon yourself. So, it really it forced me to leave no stone unturned in figuring out how to optimize and to, self-mastery, create the best form of myself as a competitor and as a golfer. You can’t control outcomes, but you can control your preparation and, self-mastery, of the game.

I never planned on being at this place where I am now, as a speaker and a writer and entrepreneur. All these things manifested because I was faithful to do the best that I could. In golf I left no stone unturned, and it has equipped me for his work. If I hadn’t been faithful to do that then I wouldn’t be ready. Golf allowed me to get, from here to there, and to, self-mastery,

There’s a really good book called “The talent code” by Daniel Coyle and he teaches whether you’re coaching soccer or teaching a child to play the piano, writing a novel or trying to improve your golf swing, this revolutionary book shows you how to grow talent by tapping into a newly discovered brain mechanism. He feels that just because you have the talent doesn’t mean
it will be nurtured to the level of, self-mastery, its deep work and deep practice to really develop skill, competence and, self-mastery, in any field it’s always a combination of nature and nurture.

Conclusion

Follow Myrna on Instagram, twitter, Facebook,

I think the mindset of a professional athlete is one that is competitive but not just competitive it’s also inspired. I think having clarity is really important as well. As an athlete you get objective feedback of win or lose, so you can figure out how to get, from here to there, and to, self- mastery, I think the same is true about having a vision. You have a goal you are striving for and you get feedback from whether you are successful or not.

What is your quarter life perspective on, self- mastery.
I give a lot of credit for this title to my grandpa. When I was writing this book, he was an influential voice in my head and life.

To listen to Thane’s Quarter life perspective on, self-mastery, Download the rest of this inspiring interview on iTunes, Google play, Stitcher, Podbean, and iHeart radio,

Additional resources:
https://www.thanemarcus.com/who/
The path to Mastery
the-quest-for-purpose-six-holistic-ways-finding-purpose/
https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-flow-with-desire/

April 15, 2022

What to Do If You Find Yourself In the Wilderness

Why are you in the, wilderness? The people of Israel wandered in the, wilderness, for 40 years and never got to see the, promised land, that God had given them.

They were in the, wilderness, because time and time again they showed contempt for God, never believing his word, even after witnessing time and time again his, miraculous signs.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10427193-what-to-do-if-you-find-yourself-in-the-wilderness.mp3?download=true

Here is a partial list of Gods miraculous signs

He sent plagues upon the Egyptians.
God protected their first born from death by telling them to smear blood on the door of their homes.
He brought them out of slavery.
God used Moses to part the Red Sea so they can escape Pharaoh’s army and then witnessed the Red Sea swallow the Egyptians up.
He sends, manna, from the heavens to feed them.
The Lord sent quail when they complained they wanted meat.
He gave them a land of milk and honey and they were too afraid to go get it.

You are in the, wilderness, because you let fear of the unknown predict your future.

The people of Israel refused to go into the, promised land, because they were afraid the giants in the land would kill them in battle and carry off their wife’s and children. They accepted defeat without even throwing a punch.

Don’t let fear of the unknown keep you in the wilderness

Why do you need to, transform your mind? Because that is the way out of the, wilderness. Caleb and his family got to possess the, promised land, because his mind was right. He had no fear.

He said “Let’s go at once and take the land, we can certainly conquer it”

The, wilderness, is a mindset!

The wilderness mindset

The, wilderness mindset, is like the, poverty mindset, it always want to return to the familiar.

The, wilderness mindset, is accustomed to, struggle, it can’t phantom victory and abundance it always returns to, lack and struggle.

When new opportunities are presented the, wilderness mindset, will always take you back to what it perceives as safety and that is staying right where you are in the, dry barren desert.

What is a poverty mindset?

What is, Poverty Mindset? Having a, poverty mindset is a fear that you will never have enough. It holds you back by convincing you that your circumstances will never change for the better. This way of thinking manifests in two ways: Always spending what you have because you may not have more later.

Your dry, barren place, is anywhere that is not feeding your soul. It could be an abusive relationship, it could be a job you hate, it could be living in an unsafe home. But you stay because it is familiar and your basic need are being met.

But you weren’t created just to survive, you were created to live in a land flowing with milk and honey, to live with joy, peace, happiness, abundance, harmony. You were created to live in paradise.

We were meant to thrive not just survive.

The difference between surviving in the wilderness and thriving in paradise

Surviving, is a grim struggle—you’re white-knuckling life, just barely getting by. Thriving, is living and thinking abundantly.

Surviving, is a drag, a daily slog to stay alive. Thriving, is joyful and infectious.

So what keeps us from, thriving?

Fear of the unknown,
Staying in your comfort zone
Not obeying God’s commandments
Not willing to do the work

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Conclusion

So, if you find yourself in the, wilderness, ask yourself why are you there and do the work to find and possess your, promised land.

That’s why the detail of the, Promised Land, overflowing with milk and honey was so important: God promised His people a land where everything was in top working order. This was a land abounding in fruitful pastures and efflorescent vegetation. This was a land functioning in its proper, God-designed rhythms. The result was natural abundance.

The description “overflowing with honey” offers a glimpse into what God desires and promises us all — an invitation for us to taste and see that the Lord is good.

This is coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Additional Resources

Why is Renewing Your Mind Important?

March 28, 2022March 30, 2022

How The Army Train The Mind To Achieve Purpose

Lusene Donzo started life in the US as a, refugee, from Liberia. After arriving in America he enlisted in the, US Army, and began, training his mind, to live his, calling. Listen to Lusene’s story of how he overcame a grand mal seizure, living on, welfare, to find success in the, army, as well as an entrepreneur and speaker.

Download the Podcast Here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10333001-training-your-mind-to-achieve-your-purpose.mp3?download=true

Bio

Lusene grew up in Monrovia, Liberia, and came to America as a refugee 17 years ago. October 20, 2016 his life changed forever where he ended up having a grand mal seizure and ended up in a coma. He quickly realized that tomorrow is not promised and as long as you have life you should chase after your dreams and things that matter.

He later graduated from Virginia State University as a computer science major, commissioned in the US Army in 2018. Today Lusene is an author, speaker, credit consultant and a United States Army Officer who loves empowering people and helping them build their credit. Lusene is the author of “The Power of Determination: Train Your Mind To Live Your Calling

Myrna: We are witnessing a war in, Ukraine, at this moment, I’m having chills now just thinking about it. We all know that the life of those, refugees, are not going to be easy. Right now, they don’t know where they’re going to be living or how they’re going to eat. So, your journey is an interesting one to talk about in this climate. Tell us, your story.

Lusene: So, originally, I grew up in Liberia, at the age of six, in 1990, Liberia had a civil war. I was born in 92. So I was born during the height of the Civil War. And I remember at the age of four or five years old that we would have rebels coming up coming the house and my mother at the time, she would hide me on the ceiling from the rebels, because they were looking for young men to fight the war. Children are the easiest individuals to take advantage of.

So my mom would always hide me, up in the ceiling, just to make sure they don’t find out that she has a male child. She eventually gave me to my grandmother to go live in a village in a different country, Guinea. So I lived in Guinea for about two years. It was a lot of struggle there we used so to eat in the same bowl. We all used to play together. It was more family, but it was a lot of struggle because at the time I didn’t know who my father was.

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I didn’t have my mother, I was just living with my grandmother and all my cousins and we were fighting to eat food. So it was it was one of those things that when I look back, at the position that I’m in right now, I am so humbled because especially I can resonate with what some of the individuals in, Ukraine, are going through because being a, refugee, is something that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

So once I left Guinea, I went to Ivory Coast, there was a civil war in the Ivory Coast and everyone that was not Liberian they were trying to kick them out the country. You needed this thing called les de Paseo, which is kind of like in America, a green card to stay in the country. America had a resettlement program for, refugees, in Ivory Coast to bring them to the states so my family applied. Nine months later, we ended up coming to America as, refugees. Initially we were on, welfare, collecting checks, food stamps, and all that, but eventually my mother got off, welfare.

Training the mind to get off welfare

Myrna: That is such a beautiful story. I came from Guyana, we weren’t that poor, but it’s still a third world country. I had the opportunity to go to Canada. That’s what’s got me out of my poverty. And then I ended up coming to United States. I support a charity that’s called food for the poor. And one of the things that they show are the kids in Africa eating from one bowl of rice. Oh my God, it breaks my heart. So you went through all that and then you ended up with a grand mal seizure? How did that happen?

Lusene: So after I came here, I moved around a little bit, and I moved to Philadelphia, I was living with my uncle in Philadelphia, where I graduated high school. I was working while in college, I was working a lot. I was, training the mind, by working hard and being determined to get off, welfare. I was working about 18 hours, I had school, I had ROTC, I was the Army Reserve. I was just doing too much.

I ended up having a seizure because I wasn’t getting adequate amount of sleep. I wasn’t eating a lot of nutrients. So my brain went into a shock and I ended up having a coma. I had a seizure initially, where I broke my left shoulder while I was sleeping, I then had a grand mal seizure, at the hospital. The seizure was so bad that I ended up in a coma for about six to eight hours.

Myrna: How old were you then?

Lusene: 24 years old.

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The Army trains you mentally and builds character

Myrna: Wow, so somebody told you about hard work, you came to America and you worked. It’s one of the things that immigrants do. You know, we’re not lazy. You’re trying to make it in this world and overworked yourself. Alright, but again, all our experiences in life are guiding us through something and what that you said in your bio. What you realized after this happened to you is that tomorrow is not promised and you should chase your dreams. So why did you decide to go in the, army?

Lusene: One of the main reasons I decided to join the, military, was because I wanted to challenge myself as an individual. Prior to joining the, army, I realized that I wasn’t challenging myself while I was living my life. And one of the things I realized that a lot of successful people have trials and tribulation, but they get through things that challenge them.

I joined the, army, because I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that I was not mentally where I needed to be. I wanted to develop my character to become better. So that’s one of the main reasons why I joined the, army. I think the, army, has been a blessing to me because it has helped me to be very resilient in everything that I do.

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Training the mind to become present

After I had the seizure, the doctors told me that I should give up on all my dreams because I was disabled and would stay on welfare since I would not be able to get a normal job. And that never resonated with me because I looked at myself in a mirror and, trained my mind, to become present. I said I did not come to this land of opportunity to be on, welfare.

So I challenged what the doctor told me. I started to, train the mind, with, meditation, until I was able to get off my seizure meditation. I told the doctors I did not want to stay on a seizure medication. I have a dream and I will return to the, army.

Another blessing was the fact that because I was in the, army, they paid for my medical bills which was over $350,000. I told my physical therapist, I can overcome this, I’m already, resilient. I’ve been through so much as a, refugee, so much, mental training, in the, army. I didn’t come to America to collect a disability check.

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Training the mind to build character

Myrna: Your first goal was that you recognized that you wanted to, train the mind, and you wanted to build your, character, and that’s why you went into the, army. And I’m understanding why the doctor was thinking that you would always be on disability because normally the cause of a seizure is something mental. And maybe he diagnosed that you’re always gonna have seizures.

Lusene: To, train the mind, to build, character, I asked myself:

How determined Are you?
How bad do you want to establish yourself?
How bad do you want to tell the world your story?
How bad do you want to write a book?
How bad do you want to set yourself up for success outside of the, army?

And that’s where my, determination, came from because I kept on talking to myself. I kept on repeating affirmations. I kept on turning down all the haters and naysayers that were saying I’m too young, I don’t have any credibility. And one of the things I realized is how can you get, credibility, if you don’t have a product? The best way to have, credibility, is what to get, credibility, so you have to start something.

Myrna: You were in the, army, and wanted to have a job outside the, military?

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Finding a product to build credibility

Lusene: Yes, I’ve always had multiple jobs even while I was in college. So I was never used to having one source of income, but it was a little difficult, with senior leaders constantly discouraging you and telling you that you cannot do this because you don’t have the, credibility, because in the, army, your rank is low.

Myrna: So what is it that you wanted to go after? Is that your credit consulting business?

Lusene: One of my ultimate dreams is to become the number one speaker on the planet, but the credit counselling business came very easy to me. I wanted to chase my dream of, entrepreneurship, and at the time, I didn’t have a product. So, I actually enrolled in Eric Thomas program, and one of the things he said was the best way to get credibility, was to write a book.

I started researching things that came very easy to me and, how to build credit, was very easy because I took my credit score from about 585 to 840 in 18 months. I realize this was an amazing accomplishment, and I said to myself, I have a skill that can teach other people. I started teaching people, how to build credit, for free and when I had 20 clients, I started charging and then eventually I went ahead and got certified. Check out my credit counselling course @

Myrna: Okay that’s awesome, I love that determination.

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How the army trains the mind

You book is about, training your mind, to achieve your calling. How did the, army, train your mind?

Lusene: So this is how the, army, train the mind. When you first get into the, army, you go through this thing called reception and immediately they tell you drop your bags, and you have sergeants yelling at you telling you what to do trying to break you. They tell you this is what you’re gonna do, they strip out all the civilian out of you. They now tell you, you are no longer a civilian. You are in the, US army, you’re a, soldier.

Now you’re going to be told what to do. Once you have acknowledged that, some people don’t, some people do. But once you have acknowledged that now they tell you to call your parents let them know you’re safe. You’re now in basic training. They’re now telling you when to wake up, when to go to bed, when to have personal hygiene and all those things.

Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV – Training Your Mind

Why the army trains the mind

The reason why the, army, train the mind, is to condition you as a, soldier. You’re going to be told to execute missions from higher officers, so they start, training the mind, on accepting orders in basic training. The first thing that the, military teaches you, is you have an assigned weapon. When you have an assigned weapon, what that does is that teaches you how to take care of something that you’re going to use to eventually kill someone.

So you’re going to learn everything about that weapon, because at the end of the day, if you’re deployed and your weapon jams, you have to know how to fix the malfunction. That could save your life.

After you learn how to take care of your weapon, you start training your legs. The, army, trains your mental toughness because they want you to be, resilient. They want you to be mentally fit, so when you’re tired, you stay sharp. You’re going through this training in the span of eight to nine weeks, where you’re waking up at four in the morning, you’re sleep deprived, and you haven’t seen your family, you don’t talk to your family, and you’re constantly being challenged.

That is how the, army, train the mind. You’re constantly waking up at 4 am in the morning, you’re constantly going to bed exactly at 9 pm, you have to make up your bed. You have to make sure your bed is detailed. You have to make sure your laundry is done. You have to make sure your lockers are clean. Don’t say these are small things. They’re, train the mind, to be a, US soldier.

You can take those lessons and you can apply them in your personal life or whatever it is that you want to do in your career.

Myrna: I absolutely love it. I read a few books on the Navy Seals training, but they, train the mind, of every, soldier.

The Power of Determination: Training the mind to live your calling

Tell us about your book why you wrote it and what you want the readers to walk away with.

Lusene: The book: The Power of Determination: Training the mind to live your calling tells the story of what I went through as a, refugee, being abused by an uncle who was mentally and physically abusive, joining the, army, having a seizure while in the, army, and still ended up enrolling myself in a speaker program. I talk about my credit program and , how to build credit, and give steps to help you, repair your credit.

The power of Determination train the mind — The power of Determination: Train the mind to live your calling

The reason why you should get the book, it’s a highlight my story of all the things that I went through, all the trials and tribulation, just to stay on course and stay, determined. I think one of the most important things in life is for you to literally, train the mind, to find your, calling. I wanted to, train the mind, to live my, calling, because I believe that every single one of us have a, purpose. We all have a, calling. And my, calling, is to inspire millions of people around the world by speaking. Check out Lusene on his website https://lusenedonzo.com/ and follow him on instagram @lusene2motivate

Additional Resources

Mindfulness: Training Your Mind to Be Present

March 11, 2022August 22, 2022

How to Regain Wholeness with Radionics

Don Paris, PH.D takes us through the history of, Radionics, and how the science of, Radionics, allows us to get information from subtle dimensional realities.

Bio

• Don Paris, Ph.D. is a published author, speaker, video producer, and musician. His book, Regaining Wholeness Through the Subtle Dimensions has been published internationally in German, Spanish, Japanese, Portuguese, and English. He is known as the guru of the SE-5, the world’s most respected subtle energy instrument.

He is well loved for his style of bringing challenging concepts into an easy to understand language and has been a popular speaker at the Global Sciences Congress, Congress of Spiritual Scientists and the United States Psychotronics Association.

He has created the most detailed explanation of the, principles of Radionics, and the most advanced training courses in the entire field. He began exploring the, subtle dimensions, in the early seventies, and has now trained people in over 30 countries around the world in the workings of, Radionics, and the, subtle dimensional realities.

Don was awarded an honorary doctorate degree in Human Sciences from the International University of Vitalogical Sciences in Stockholm Sweden in 2000 for his work with the, SE-5, and, subtle energies.

He and his wife, Ilona Selke, who work as a team, have contributed to radio and TV shows, and have been quoted in numerous publications around the world. They teach seminars in Quantum Psychology in the US, Europe and Asia.

When not traveling to teach, they divide their time between their homes in the Pacific Northwest and Bali.

In his work he had dedicated himself to bridging the barrier of the physical boundaries to the, subtle dimensional realities.

The History of, Radionics,

Radionics, started almost a little over a hundred years ago. Believe it or not this is when electronics were just kind of getting off the ground. Radionics, got the name from the word radio because that was the technology that was around at the time it was discovered.
Dr. Albert Abrams in the early 1900s and during that time period he was a medical doctor he was a medical genius doctor. He got his medical degree at age 16 and he too was young to practice, so he went to Europe and Germany and got another medical degree and then came back and started practicing medicine but this guy was an absolute genius and during that time period how they would diagnose a person.

One of the diagnostic techniques before we had all this fancy stuff was they would do a percussion technique on the abdomen. They would tap on the abdomen to see if there were any sore spots so it was kind of simple and you know kind of like they do with the doctors do it now.

One day he noticed that this patient came in and he tapped on his stomach for a minute it had this big hollow sound and it was like well that’s kind of weird. He’d never heard that sound before and so he went home and he thought about this is strange sound. So he had this guy come back in. The hollow sound was gone and he’s really puzzled about this.

He decided to put him back exactly in the same place in the same direction and the hollow sound appeared again and this totally blew his mind. So he got to thinking in his genius mind what earth energies was responsible. After much research, he was able to detect various types of disease by the sound tapping made on the abdomen.

Today if I put a resistance box in between the two people maybe I could filter out one disease versus another. We now have, radionics, which is computerized and a quantum leap from there but those very beginnings. I don’t remember how long 20 30 years he developed these processes, he taught doctors all over the world and about this time is when Rockefeller started investing into pharmaceuticals and they formed the American Medical Association which was basically from my perspective to help the Rockefellers get rid of both electro medicine and homeopathy that was their goal.

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http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-find-your-soulmate/
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February 20, 2022February 24, 2022

4 Techniques to Outsmart Your Brain

Welcome to the Mindset Transformation radio show and Podcast. Today Dr. Marcia Reynolds is going to teach us “4 Techniques to, Outsmart your Brain” Relax, Detach, gain clarity and ask yourself, How do I want to feel?

But First in keeping with that theme I want to share with you one of the classic stories of how our Brain can Outsmart us.

Acres of Diamonds

There once lived not far from the River Indus an ancient Persian by the name of Al Hafed. Al Hafed owned a very large farm with orchards, grain fields and gardens. He was a contented and wealthy man—contented because he was wealthy, and wealthy because he was contented. One day there visited this old farmer one of those ancient Buddhist priests, and he sat down by Al Hafed’s fire and told that old farmer how this world of ours was made.

He said that this world was once a mere bank of fog and the Almighty thrust his finger into the bank of fog and then began slowly to move his finger around and gradually to increase the speed of his finger until at last he whirled that bank of fog into a solid ball of fire, and it went rolling through the universe, burning its way through other cosmic banks of fog, until it condensed the moisture without, and fell in floods of rain upon the heated surface and cooled the outward crust.

Then the internal flames burst through the cooling crust and threw up the mountains and made the hills and the valleys of this wonderful world of ours. If this internal melted mass burst out and cooled very quickly it became granite; that which cooled less quickly became silver; and less quickly, gold; and after gold, diamonds were made. Said the old priest, “A, diamond, is a congealed drop of sunlight.”

Finding your diamonds in your back yard

This is a scientific truth also. You all know that a diamond is pure carbon, actually deposited sunlight. The old priest told Al Hafed that if he had a handful of diamonds he could purchase a whole country, and with a mine of diamonds he could place his children upon thrones through the influence of their great wealth.

Al Hafed heard all about, diamonds, and how much they were worth, and went to his bed that night a poor man—not that he had lost anything, but poor because he was discontented and discontented because he thought he was poor. He said: “I want a mine of, diamonds!” So he lay awake all night, and early in the morning sought out the priest.

Reminds me of the story I tell my children about the dog and his shadow. If you are not familiar, a dog is walking over a bridge and sees another dog with a bone. He decides he wants that bone as well and jumps in and loses the bone he has in his mouth because what he saw was not another dog but his own shadow. It is a story of discontent and greed!

Getting back to our story. Al Hafed woke the priest out of his dreams and said to him, “Will you tell me where I can find, diamonds?” The priest said, “Diamonds? What do you want with diamonds?” “I want to be immensely rich,” said Al Hafed, “but I don’t know where to go.” “Well,” said the priest, “if you will find a river that runs over white sand between high mountains, in those sands you will always see, diamonds.”

“Do you really believe that there is such a river asked al Hafed?” The priest replied “Plenty of them, plenty of them; all you have to do is just go and find them, then you have them.” Al Hafed said, “I will go.” So he sold his farm, collected his money at interest, left his family in charge of a neighbor, and away he went in search of diamonds.

Searching for what you already have

He began at the Mountains of the Moon. Afterwards he went around into Palestine, then wandered on into Europe, and at last, when his money was all spent, and he was in rags, wretchedness and poverty, he stood on the shore of that bay in Barcelona, Spain, when a tidal wave came rolling in through the Pillars of Hercules and the poor, afflicted, suffering man could not resist the awful temptation to cast himself into that incoming tide, and he sank beneath its foaming crest, never to rise in this life again.

Now, Al Hafed’s successor one day led his camel out into the garden to drink, and as that camel put its nose down into the clear water of the garden brook Al Hafed’s successor noticed a curious flash of light from the sands of the shallow stream, and reaching in he pulled out a black stone having an eye of light that reflected all the colors of the rainbow, and he took that curious pebble into the house and left it on the mantel, then went on his way and forgot all about it.

A few days after that, this same old priest who told Al Hafed how diamonds were made, came in to visit his successor, when he saw that flash of light from the mantel. He rushed up and said, “Here is a, diamond,—here is a diamond! Has Al Hafed returned?” “No, no; Al Hafed has not returned and that is not a diamond; that is nothing but a stone; we found it right out here in our garden.” “But I know a, diamond, when I see it,” the priest said; “this is a diamond!”

Then together they rushed to the garden and stirred up the white sands with their fingers and found others more beautiful, more valuable, diamonds, than the first, and thus were discovered the diamond mines of Golconda, the most magnificent diamond mines in all the history of mankind, exceeding the Kimberley in its value. The great Kohinoor diamond in England’s crown jewels and the largest crown diamond on earth in Russia’s crown jewels came from that mine.

The moral to the story is had Al Hafed remained at home and dug in his own cellar or in his own garden he would have had, acres of diamonds.

We are are all diamonds

We are all, Acres of Diamonds, Each and every one of us is unique with acres of talent and gifts. If we dig we will find them. Don’t be like Al Hafed and go looking for riches elsewhere. You are all, diamonds, in the rough.

Now let me tell you a little more of our guest today.

Dr. Marcia Reynolds is fascinated by the, brain, especially how to, outsmart your brain, what sparks feelings of connection, commitment, and possibility. She is able to draw on her research to help leaders have more meaningful conversations that inspire change. She has delivered workshops in 35 countries and has presented at the Harvard Kennedy School, Cornell University, and the Edwards School of Management in Canada.

Marcia is a true pioneer in the coaching profession. She was the 5th global president of the International Coach Federation and is the training director for the Healthcare Coaching Institute at Virginia Tech. She also teaches for coaching schools in Russia and China.

Interviews and excerpts from her books, Outsmart Your Brain, Wander Woman, and her latest, The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations into Breakthroughs have appeared in many places including Fast Company, CNN.com, Psychology Today, and The Wall Street Journal and she has appeared on ABC World News.

Marcia’s doctoral degree is in organizational psychology with an emphasis on the needs of strong, smart women in today’s corporations. She also holds two master’s degrees in education and communications.

Show Notes:

• What do mean by, Outsmart your brain.
The primary purpose of the, brain, is to protect you and to keep you safe.
Anytime you say something to someone that is critical they get defensive and they get defensive without thought. To, outsmart your brain, is really about making good choices. Stopping and asking what is my, brain, perceiving here and what is really true. You have to know how to stop, breathe and make good choices.
You have to shift your emotions. Take 10 sec to remember to care, take 10 sec to realize that this person is not trying to hurt me.
You have to change your emotion to change your thought to, outsmart your brain.

Here are the 4 Techniques to change your emotions and outsmart your brain.

1. Relax your body, release the tension. Take a breath let it out
2. Clear your mind. Quickly drop your mind to the center of your body
3. Center your mind on your Chi or 2nd Chakra
4. Choose how you want to feel.
• What prompts your brain to do things that sabotage your best intentions
The brain perceives a threat to something so it protects you.
If you are afraid it sees danger and sabotages your efforts.

• Is there something we can do to stop reacting?
You have to understand your emotions triggers.
They are there to protect you.
Like respect in the workplace.
The, brain, reacts because it may think that someone is trying to take control over you

• How can we use our heart and brain to control our emotions?

Quiet your mind and ask your mind or gut. What should I do?
Take a breath and go into your heart and then you usually say something better
When your heart and your gut is open then you have access to all three of your brains
Your brain, your heart and your gut.

• Are the brains of men and women wired differently?
We are born with the same wiring but whatever is rewarded as we aged that is what we become. Women were more head and gut based and men were more head based but that is changing.
Men are becoming more heart based because they are being raised by women.

• www.Outsmartyourbain.com

Go to discomfort zone resources for outsmarting your brain.
Contact Dr Marcia at marcia@outsmartyourbrain.com

web: http://www.myrnayounghelps.com
Author: “Out of the Snares”
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B013C71KHE
MyHelps Youtube channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8p2lfxF2GhOihRv8N3EZeA

February 12, 2022February 24, 2022

Who is the Team Player on Your Team? The 20/70/10 Rule

Who is your favorite team player?

Who is your favorite, team player? Is it LeBron James in basketball? Peyton Manning in Football, or Derek Jeter in baseball? Regardless of which star you pick, management knows that this, team player, is the “duck who lays the golden eggs” and they treat him with respect and shower him with dollars.

On the same team, suiting up in the same uniform, playing the same number of games, going to the same amount of meetings and practice workouts; you can have the star making 10 million per year and his team member making the minimum $300,000 per year. What exactly is the message management is trying to convey with this disparity in salary? The message is “you are the best, you are, the most valuable, team player, on this team.

We need you to win. We value you and your skills, we don’t want another team to be able to steal you away by offering you more money.” The other members of the team don’t grumble at the water cooler about the unfairness of pay. Instead they are happy to play in the presence of greatness and they are hoping that some of his skills will rub off on them.

Sales team player

Let’s bring this, team player, scenario to your, sales team. How are you letting the stars on your, sales team, know that you value their contributions? Do you reward them with praise publicly and personally? Do their bonuses reflect their value? I have been on, sales teams, where the top sales representative overachieves by 150% to revenue goal and the Sales Manager offers no public or personal congratulations. No fanfare! On top of that accounting tries to not pay by recalculating and cutting the amounts of bonuses.

The, 20/70/10 rule, of differentiation states that 20% of your team are your star players and should be showered with incentives to continue to perform at this high level. The next 70 percent are average or mediocre team members and management should offer them coaching to improve their confidence and skills sets.

Take the case study of Rolando McClain. He was the #1 draft pick for the Oakland Raiders in 2010. That means that he was one of the best coming out of college; but once in the NFL, he didn’t live up to his potential and he was released first by Oakland Raiders. He was then picked up by the Baltimore Ravens and later released as well.

Then when the Cowboys were looking for a linebacker, McClain came under their radar and they decided to check him out. They called his old college coach Nick Sabin and asked him what made McClain good in college. With this information the Cowboys received from Coach Sabin, they called McClain in for a tryout and made him an offer. The story goes that the exchange with the Ravens cost the Cowboys a bag of donuts! Jason Garrett the head coach of the Cowboys and his coaching staff worked with McClain, improved his confidence, and moved him from the bottom 10%, to the top 20%. McClain now starts every game and he and the Cowboys had an awesome year.

We could this sports analogy to show that the job of a Sales Manager is to move his mediocre, team player, up through the ranks with effective coaching. Sometimes an outside coach works best, because the employee can be honest. Beating them over the head with the numbers on the report is not the way to do it.

Who Is a Team Player?

A, team player, is a person who plays or works well as a member of a team or group. Teams in organizations need strong team players to perform well and reach their goals.

Team Players, motivates unity in the workplace

A teamwork environment promotes an atmosphere that fosters friendship and loyalty. These close-knit relationships motivate employees in parallel and align them to work harder, cooperate and be supportive of one another.

Individuals possess diverse talents, weaknesses, communication skills, strengths, and habits. Therefore, when a teamwork environment is not encouraged this can pose many challenges towards achieving the overall goals and objectives. This creates an environment where employees become focused on promoting their own achievements and competing against their fellow colleagues. This is not a, team player. Ultimately, this can lead to an unhealthy and inefficient working environment.

When teamwork is working, the whole team would be motivated and working toward the same goal in harmony.

Teamwork and Team Players offer differing perspectives and feedback

Good teamwork structures provide your organization with a diversity of thought, creativity, perspectives, opportunities, and problem-solving approaches. A proper team environment allows individuals to brainstorm collectively, which in turn increases their success to problem solve and arrive at solutions more efficiently and effectively.

Effective, sales teams also allow the initiative to innovate, in turn creating a competitive edge to accomplish goals and objectives. Sharing differing opinions and experiences strengthens accountability and can help make effective decisions faster, than when done alone.

Team effort increases output by having quick feedback and multiple sets of skills come into play to support your work. You can do the stages of designing, planning, and implementation much more efficiently when a team is functioning well.

Please call me for a free consultation if you are interested in improving the players on your team.

The last number is the bottom 10%. These team members should be moved out to other roles. If on a sales team and selling is not their forte, they could be moved to a supporting role, for example.

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-run-your-sales-meetings-like-a-quaterback/

January 31, 2022

How To Turn Your Pain Into Power

Abigail Damoah - Turn Your Pain Into Power

Abigail Damoah was wrongly convicted and sent to prison for 12 years. During this dark time in her life, she used inspiration for the bible story of David to find her, life purpose, of helping the women in, prison. She turned her, pain into power, and achieved tremendous personal growth by not seeing herself as a, victim.

Download podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9986464-how-to-turn-your-pain-into-power.mp3?download=true

Bio

After serving five years in a Florida state prison for a crime that she didn’t commit, and then two years later being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and undergoing major surgery to remove most of her colon, Abigail learnt one very important life lesson; you will find treasure in the darkest places if you simply change your perspective by turning her, pain into power.

During her, incarceration, Abigail became a Christian and learnt that life isn’t just about her. She was surrounded by women who had endured the most horrific traumatic childhoods and were now being victimized by the very system that was supposed to help them. She found the strength to end her pity party, opening her eyes to the immense suffering of others.

She began to use her gifts to make an impact on the lives of the women she was housed with. It was during the worst season of her life that she experienced true peace, contentment, and fulfilment because she found her life’s purpose, and learned how to turn her, pain into power. Abigail is the author of ” She is Risen from Destitute to Destiny”

book: She is Risen Turning Pain into Power

Using Adversity to turn pain into power

Myrna: All right, so here we have a whole bunch of, adversity. Being sentenced to 12 years in, prison, even if it’s for a crime you do commit, it is very traumatic. It is worst when it is a crime that you didn’t commit.

Can you share your story, why you were sentenced to 12 years in, prison? I know you said you only served five of those 12 years. Tell us how you survived that and turned that, pain into power?

Abigail: Okay, so I had my dream to live in America. I’m from the United Kingdom and after I finished my undergraduate degree. I relocated to Atlanta, Georgia to study and pursue an MBA. I got an internship in Florida. I flew down to Florida and I met a man. One night he called wanting to go out to a nightclub, and I agreed. He came and picked me up and we made our way to the nightclub and ended up having a car accident where he was killed, and I was seriously injured.

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My injuries were so extensive that I spent over six weeks in the hospital. My parents at the time decided the best course of action was to take me back to the UK, because there’s no way I was going to be able to look after myself in the USA. I recuperated and got back on my feet. And then in 2011, the state of Florida issued an extradition warrant for my arrest. I was charged with vehicular homicide. The legal definition for that is reckless driving.

So, I was accused of driving in such a dangerous manner that caused death or great bodily harm to another. While I was waiting for the extradition, I began to study the laws surrounding my case and discovered that I should never have been charged with a crime in the first place. The state of Florida had sent over the deposition, the discovery and detail they had a very detailed chronology, of exactly what happened. And one of the things that should have exonerated me from the beginning, was the fact that the road was under reconstruction at the time, so they had taken down all the speed signs.

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Extradition to the USA

There were no warning signs that the road was about to change and if you’re not familiar with that road, you would not know that you need to slow down. So, when an accident happened, all of a sudden, a curve came up and I hit the curb and the car ended up flipping over and going into a tree. So, based on that alone, I should never have been charged with a crime. But if you know anything about the laws in the United States, you know, sometimes it can be a bit one sided.

I was extradited to America to stand trial. I had a judge who had no legal integrity, because of the way my case had been portrayed in the media. She was determined to make an example out of me. I was found guilty sentenced to 12 years Florida State Prison. After serving 5 years, the case was dismissed.

Myrna: Wow. So sorry to hear what you have been through. I’m assuming you were driving.

Abigail: Yes, I was driving, it wasn’t my car.

Myrna: Yeah, that’s what I thought because he came to pick you up.

Abigail: The reason I was driving was because he got so drunk, that he was unable to continue the journey. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

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The Pain of prison

Myrna: So sorry for your pain. But the fact that the case was dismissed, I’m assuming that you’ve cleared your name.

Abigail: Yes, yes. My name is completely cleared. The sentence was vacated, and I was released from, prison.

Myrna: Did you get any money for it?

Abigail: No, absolutely nothing. The state of Florida had laws to protect themselves against wrongful convictions. So, I was knocked out of financial assistance there. But, it was a driving force behind what I do now because I had to start my life from scratch. I had to use the gifts that I had been given to build a life for myself, and turn my, pain into power. I didn’t have anything. I came back to nothing, but God worked it out for my good.

Going through the tunnel of adversity

Myrna: Well, they say that a lot of times, we must go through the tunnel, we must be beaten down all the way to the bottom, before we find our, purpose. We all go screaming into it because we really don’t want to go through pain, we don’t want to hit rock bottom. I’m in this space where I interview a lot of people and I remember talking to this woman. Her husband died and she started her coaching practice helping other women handle, grief. She turned her, pain into power, but we all prefer not to go through the pain even if it is the fire starter to our, life purpose.

So how did you manage after also being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and having most of your colon removed?

Abigail: I wasn’t raised in a Christian household, but I had a lot of Christian friends. If there’s one thing that I learned from them, even while I wasn’t a believer, was that they had this ability to see past their circumstances. So, before I even arrived in America, they were already speaking life into my situation. They were already telling me that this was going to work out for my good, something good is gonna come out of this.

And it wasn’t until, I became a Christian and I began to read the Bible and I began to apply those principles, that I was strengthened in that area. God gave me a perspective that enabled me to see things through his eyes, he gave me the ability to step outside of myself. I was surrounded by people who are who were suffering, who have been through women the worst heinous things. My whole perception changed.

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Helping people in prison turn their pain into power

Not only are people dying from much worse situations than I had, but I had to reframe my situation to say, okay, I’m in, prison, now, what can I do while I’m here to make an impact on the lives of the women that I am housed with? How do I turn my, pain into power?

I had a writing gift and there are women that couldn’t read or write. I remember the very first time I tapped into that. There was a woman that I was, bunking in, prison, she had a terrible situation, her children have been taken into DCF custody because of her arrest.

So, I wrote a letter for her. explaining the situation to DCF, speaking in legal terminology. She wanted her children to be put into the custody of her sister while she was in, prison, and lo and behold, that’s exactly what happened. Two weeks later, she came to me, I mean, she was in floods of tears. She was so grateful that I took the time to do this for her, and it was at that moment that I realized that what my, purpose, is connected to my gift of writing. Writing was how I was going to turn my, pain into power.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio — TuneIn Radio

Figuring out my life purpose

I also realized that my, purpose, had nothing to do with me, it was to enrich the lives of the people that I am surrounded by. So, from that moment, my prayers changed from Lord get me out of here, I can’t take this anymore to Lord who are the people in, prison, that you want me to impact? That started a tsunami of work. My inmates just started coming to get the help they needed. I started helping them write letters, probation letters, letters to their family, etc. It was one of the most, fulfilling aspects of my time in, prison.

Myrna: Now, how did you take own ownership of your situation? What was your internal dialogue?

Abigail: I dropped the, victim mentality. You know, it’s so easy when you’re going through a situation whatever it is, it’s so easy to point the finger and say is your fault that I’m here, but when you play the, victim, you are not helping anybody. You’re not helping yourself and you’re not helping anyone else. When I was in the, victim, state I felt so sorry for myself. You know, such an injustice had taken place.

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Victims have no power

I was depressed, I was in a place of desolation, I couldn’t sleep at night, I had no peace. But the moment I relinquished that, victim mentality, I came to the revelation that it wasn’t the state of Florida that put me in, prison, to punish me. I was placed there strategically to be empowered, and then to empower. I was placed there to turn my, pain into power.

So once my, mindset, changed, I was able to say I am going to use this situation to become the best person that I be and to help as many people as I can while I’m in here. That is exactly how I took ownership of my situation. I took the power out the hands in the state of Florida, and turned, my pain into power, because, victims, have no power.

Myrna: This is so true. Victims have no power. In my book, Out of the Snares, A story of Hope and Encouragement, I have a full chapter on, victims. My story was that I was abused as a child, but I never became a, victim. In fact, what I suggest we become a, player. You know, when you are playing a game of blackjack and the cards that you’re dealt with are bad cards? People use those same bad cards to win, in the same way when you become a, player instead of becoming a, victim, you play with the cards you are dealt. And that’s exactly what you did, you became a, player in the game, you decided that these are the cards that I’ve been handed, and I am going to make the best of the situation. I am going to turn this, pain into power.

How to become a player and turn pain into power

Myrna: You could have played the “what if game”. What if I didn’t go out? What if I didn’t agree to drive? But instead you said it happened. There’s no way you can go backwards, all you can do is make the best of the situation that you have right now and use it to help people and learn from it and turn your, pain into power.

What is the lesson that that that you took out of that? Were you able to equate it to a, Bible story? I want to talk about Joseph who was thrown in, prison, and it was strategic to God’s plan for him. And I am also thinking of a Job which is the chapter reading now in the Bible and all the bad things that happened to him.

Job declared God does only do good things for you. God does good things, and he does bad things.

Abigail: Joseph was one of my favorite stories in the Bible. And it wasn’t until I got to that Genesis chapter 37, where Joseph was put in, prison, that I found strength in my situation. Prison, shaped Joseph into the man that God needed him to be. I knew that my time in, prison, was in God’s hands, just based on that story alone. I learned a lot from Joseph and his, mindset, during that time. He refused to be a, victim, he used his time to assist other people. He was looking for others to help while he was, incarcerated, and it opened the door to his freedom.

Myrna: Yes, exactly helping people got him introduced to the king.

Using dreams and visions for your purpose

Abigail: That was a very powerful story for me, and I used that, bible story, to empower myself. So my God has given me dreams and visions, and I knew that, okay, I’m not living the dream and the vision now, but it is this situation here that is going to lead me to the destiny that God has for me and I had to remind myself of that daily.

Myrna: That’s amazing, I am loving our conversation. One of my personal mantras is that just like an airplane needs resistance to take off the ground, we need resistance to move up our next level. And whenever I have resistance in my life, when I was working full time when I received resistance eg. one door closed or something, I always knew that resistance was supposed to push me forward and up. The door closing from being fired got me into, Life coaching, helping women to, transform their mind.

A lot of women, especially minority women live in the, wilderness, and in order for them to get out of the, wilderness, they have to change their, mindset.

She is Risen from Destitute to Destiny

Tell us about your book, your book is called “She Is Risen from Destitute To Destiny.” Why did you write it? And what do you want people to walk away with?

Abigail: I wrote the book because I knew that I had a story to tell number one, and it wasn’t a story of the tragedies, but stories of, empowerment. The book a memoir, going back to my childhood, I packed a lot of things and I think that’s very important that you need to go back to, to know why things are the way they were. So, I went through that process in the book, I had a very turbulent teenage years, connected to childhood. But despite those challenges, I still managed to make something all my life, and it didn’t come easily, or immediately at all.

It was a very, very difficult situation and a very, very difficult process. And I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but what I do know is that you can, turn your pain into power, if you change your perspective on a situation. I could have not written this book. I could have so easily come out of, prison, and just felt sorry for myself, and accept government assistance and nobody would have blamed me

Teaching others how to overcome adversity

So, I had to look at the situation and ask myself what have I learned from this? And not only what have I learnt from it, but now what can I do about it? I decided I can teach other people about how to overcome, adversity. One of the things that helped me while I was, incarcerated, were the different, prison ministries. People would share these terrible stories, but they got through it, and that’s something that inspired me.

Myrna: Well, that’s the reason I asked you if you’re going into the, prison, and doing, prison ministry, because I know your story is powerful. Now you are on the radio, podcast and PTWWN TV, sharing your story, not only the people that are in, prison, is going to hear this, but people all over the world. Your story doesn’t just speak to someone in, prison, but speaks to any women in the, wilderness, the, wilderness, can be any dry place.

Additional Resources

Does Serving a Prison Sentence Affect Change?

November 15, 2021November 15, 2021

How To Ditch the Good Girl Label

The, good girl, label is not about being morally good, the problem with being a, good girl, is that at the end of the day, it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work for anyone. This isn’t an anti-morality conversation; it’s correcting our idea of what’s good and what’s right.

Download and listen to the full interview

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9553251-how-to-escape-the-good-girl-label.mp3?download=true

Sitting in the guest chair today on the Transform Your Mind Podcast, is Kasia Urbaniak. Kasia is the author of “Unbound: A woman’s Guide to Power”. Today, we are going to be talking about “How to ditch the, good girl label”.

Bio

Since founding The Academy in 2013, Kasia has taught over 4000 women to radically increase their power, agency and influence. Using practical tools, Academy graduates transform their lives by breaking the yoke of ‘Good Girl’ conditioning. They step boldly into leadership roles within their relationships, families, workplaces, and wider communities.

They become adept in the art of verbal self-defense against bulldozing, bullying, and gaslighting. They make bold, life-changing asks of the people around them in a way that feels good to the person being asked. They can hear “no” without getting flustered or giving up, and use resistance as a way to build intimacy and partnership.

Introduction

Myrna: Kasia, let’s start off by asking you what was your journey into founding the Academy, teaching women the foundations of power and influence? I read part of your bio that you were once a, dominatrix, I would love to hear about that.

Kasia: I found myself with an unusual set of training. I explored various spiritual traditions and wanted to transcend this world. The one that spoke to me because it seemed the most practical and magical was, Taoism.

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I was a Dominatrix while pursuing monastic education

Now, while I was pursuing my training and pursuing monastic education, the ironic part was there was no way for me as a girl growing up in New York City to be able to afford such things without getting a job that would pay me a lot of money in short bursts. So, I was working as a professional, dominatrix, in dungeons in New York City and then flying off to meet with teachers to convince them to teach me all the way up to mountain tops in China.

This lasted for the greater part of a decade. This straddling, absolutely insane split personality education, where I felt guilty about one when I was doing the other. What started happening was these extremes ended up merging when I started diagnosing people’s bodies as a, Taoist, trainee. I started going into deeper states of meditation and noticed that my training as a, dominatrix, allows me to notice the power dynamics , I started seeing similarities in my work as a, dominatrix.

I was paying attention to human beings and started to understand power dynamics the way you study martial arts. I began to teach this power to women, I do not teach as a, dominatrix, and I do not teach as a nun.

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After this wildlife of extremes, of desiring absolute purity and devotion while going into these wildly psychologically strange, weird and interesting places with other humans, I started noticing that I was changing. I saw all my friends around me and all the people in my life (the women especially), living in a world of assumptions and superstitions.

Women are communicating with their bodies all the time

I started noticing that women didn’t realize that they are physically broadcasting and communicating all the time. That their power magnetic. You could say more submissive, but it’s not submissive at all.

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Myrna: You had a lot of nuggets and you’re very right. When your publicist approached me and she started off with the, dominatrix, thing, I pushed back right away until I read the full bio. I understood what you were trying to say. You’re giving women the power of choice. Women can still be submissive and powerful, right?

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Are you a People-Pleaser or a good girl

Also, I know that being a people-pleaser and being a, good girl, doesn’t get you anywhere, people walk all over you. We’ve got a saying in my country “if you lay down like a doormat, people are going to walk all over you”. So, I understand you help women break the yolk of the, good girl, conditioning. So, tell us why specifically the label of a, bad girl, is beneficial because I’m interested in hearing your spin.

Kasia: Good girl, conditioning has a very long history and it comes from the agreement that we make not as spiritual and personal agreement, but an economic agreement of marriage. We have a deal and there’s nothing wrong with even holding that deal today, but the deal is “I will let you lead, but you provide for me”. So, up until very recently, a woman who had ambition, opinion, a vision and desires couldn’t express it as an individual. The best she could do and the best way she could fulfill her ambitions was to marry. The behaviors around the, good girl, are the behaviors we’re calling, good girl, conditioning.

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What is good girl conditioning

Such behaviors are basically the behaviors of how to be marriageable, how to attract and keep a good man, how to qualify to marry the most economically promising man – given that you can’t have a job, you can’t get educated, you can’t read, and you’re not allowed to leave the house (in some countries).

So, women learn “I don’t want to be a burden”.

How to be resourceful because if you’re the economic provider, then I have to be able to make big things out of little things (be resourceful),
Be moderate in temperament,
Not be too attractive so as to not get competition, but not to be noticeably unattractive, not to stand out in this way or that way,
Women are not to have too much sexual desire, in fact not to have too much desire at all.

Actually, it’s not just being accommodating, harmonious and warm, but also not having a voice essentially, they’re from women who are like I‘m not a, good girl, I don’t need anyone, I‘m fine.

The modern day, people-pleaser, is an outgrowth of the, good girl. Why we call her an outgrowth like a sister of the, good girl, but she’s still the same woman because even though she believes that she can have her desires, she has to go for what she wants by herself. She never asks anybody for help, she never burdens anybody, she does it all. She is the feminine and the masculine. She is the alpha female.

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Most of the women who come to my school are like this because, they’re very successful. They have families, they have careers and they have everything they want and they are exhausted and are furious; they have to do it all.

Myrna: it’s like the superwoman syndrome.

Good Girls learn to say No

Kasia: The problem is that men hold all the cards. Women don’t have the same experience as men because, men don’t do it all the same way. When they are in positions of leadership or have a career, they have support that the women in their same place do not have.

The issue with, good girl, conditioning is – you can say “I‘m an, independent woman, I push back and I stand up for myself. I have learnt how to say No. You can identify with someone who doesn’t have, good girl conditioning, but the truth is the conditioning comes out so quickly that we barely catch it.

We’re programmed and it’s in our subconscious and that is why I founded the Academy with my partner Reuben.

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Bad girls learn to ask for what they want

Myrna: Why do you say specifically that the, bad girl, label is good? How do you transform them from being a, good girl, to a, bad girl? What does, bad girl, really mean?

Kasia: Okay. We got three things, bad girl, is the first. The first of the three and the other two are really important elements of the, bad girl. So, the first is a really simple exercise and I want to set up the context of this exercise. Bad girls learn to ask for what they want.

I have the women that I work with this exercise which ends up being more difficult than it sounds. The intention is to write all the things you feel make you a, bad girl, onto paper. What we want to do is start opening Pandora’s Box in the safest way possible.

We start with a sentence completion, its part of a sentence you fill in the blank and you repeat it, You write “if I were a, bad girl. I would do ,,,,,,,,,,,”

We use, bad girl, specifically because it brings you back to that younger age where you start learning what you’re supposed to like, not like, what you’re supposed to think etc.

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Clear out the bad girl closet

The purpose of writing all these terrible things is that, the things we didn’t even know we put in the, bad girl, closet start coming out. When I explain part two and three, it’s going to become even more apparent how this works so you start opening the, bad girl, closet.

Myrna: I‘m sure a lot of it is around sex and what, bad girls, do and what, good girls, do not do.

Kasia: Some have ideas and desires of sexual liberation and some have ideas of standing up for themselves. Some feel that anger is bad, that, good girls, do not get angry. Good girls, is part of the submissive conditioning or why, good girls, don’t get angry.

The, good girl conditioning, doesn’t even let you become aware that your man is disrespecting you when he calls you names. Maybe he just treats you like a maid and then one day you wake up and start thinking; this is disrespect.

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How good girls get respect

Kasia: If you want respect, you never ever say I want you to respect me! That’s communicating there’s something wrong with you.

The moment you are voicing a complaint, you are creating an atmosphere of defense. We don’t want to be in defense mode, we obviously want to be in offense, mode.

Myrna: So, how does someone do it, how do we state our desires in offensive mode?

Kasia: The moment you ask them to do something specific, the power dynamic has changed. The issue with women is that their energy is too inward:

I‘m hurting,
I’m complaining,
I don’t like this,
This is a problem,
Look what you’re doing to me,
I am the victim,
I have no power,
You have to fix it,
It’s all your fault,
You don’t respect me etc.

The moment you start directing their actions, making those requests that would resonate with you as respect, you are in the dominant position. The moment you start making them in control of your happiness and telling them they’re doing a bad job, you are in defense mode.

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Is there such a thing as a High Maintenance Woman

Myrna: I heard this a lot that men say, “Oh, she’s too, high maintenance”, but you’re also saying there’s no such thing as a, low maintenance, woman just women who are not bold enough to ask for what they want.

Kasia: So, high maintenance, is a fad. No woman is, low maintenance, but when men complain about women being, high maintenance, what they’re actually saying is not you are too much work. What they’re saying is I never got the instruction manual on how to treat you as a woman.

Men just got used to ignoring and tolerating the complaints of women, because they never really understood what makes them happy. Women weren’t asking for the things that would actually light them up, give them orgasms, make them feel supported and empowered. What men got was a bunch of vague things.

You find a man who’s getting specific instructions for the first time; he’s like a little boy in a candy store like – yes, what can I do next? He feels competent and takes care of his women like he takes care of his car!

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A woman’s guide to power

Myrna: Tell us about your book, it’s called “Unbound: A Woman’s Guide to Power”.

Kasia: The book is a step-by-step training manual. It definitely talks about how to ask and how to get off the spot when you’re being bullied and bulldozed. There’s a lot of how-to stuff there also. I teach women how to create allies out of all the men in their lives. The book is also a journey through how to get all of the support that you need from the people in your life to make your actual dreams and desires come true.

Not the ones that you think are attainable and not the ones that you think are socially acceptable. A huge part of the book is breaking the, good girl conditioning.

Myrna: How can those listening and watching in TV connect with you? How can they get a copy of your book and get your get information about your Academy?

Kasia: The easiest way to find out more is to go to the website www.weteachpower.com.

We have an announcement on the site of all our classes. Also, there are tons of free resources and videos and things that the interested listeners, viewers and readers can engage with. The book is available everywhere books are sold. Penguin Random house published it and there’s my Ted talk that I delivered to 10,000 people live as well.

Myrna: Thank you for being so in-depth about understanding the mindset of women and the mindset of the power. What is your social media handle?

Kasia: @realkasiaUrbaniak on Instagram.

Conclusion

Please remember to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, we would love for you to rate and post a review so that we can get these fantastic guests out to wider audience.

Thanks for tuning in and until next time, blessings.

Additional Resources

How to Embrace Female Sexuality and the Divine Feminine

October 26, 2021October 26, 2021

How to Develop Emotional Resilience At Work

Emotional intelligence, can be measured but, emotional resilience, is how you emotionally utilize all those components to say – okay life is throwing me a bit of a curve ball at the moment. How do I work with it? I don’t like the situation that I find myself in, but what do I do? If you don’t do anything you’re going to fall over and that’s not being, resilient.

My guest today is Robin Hills, author of The Authority Guide to Emotional Resilience in Business: Strategies to Manage Stress and Weather Storms in the Workplace.

Robin has over 35 years business and commercial experience, helping executives and leaders develop, emotional resilience, through increased self-awareness and understanding of others.

Book: The Authority Guide to Emotional Resilience in the Workplace

Listen to the full episode Here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9437949-how-to-develop-emotional-resilience-at-work.mp3?download=true

Robin’s focus is on supporting personality and behavior in business, based on the everyday application of, emotional intelligence. He is the director of Emotional Intelligence (E.I.) for Change. A company specializes in training, coaching and personal development focused around, emotional intelligence, positive psychology and neuroscience.

His educational program on, emotional resilience, and, emotional intelligence, are used in educational establishments in South Africa, India, as well as over 5000 students in 125 countries.

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Introduction to Emotional Resilience

Myrna: Emotional Intelligence, and, emotional resilience, in the workplace is a big topic, because we know that a lot of our stressors come from working with people in the workplace. It’s not necessarily your spouse or your children or immediate family, but in the workplaces where we have the most stress and learning how to maneuver that with, emotional intelligence, or, emotional resilience, is actually a great skill.

Myrna: What does, emotional resilience, really mean and what was your journey into becoming an expert at it?

Emotional Resilience Starts Building at Home

Robin: I just want to say that, emotional intelligence, or, emotional resilience, in the workplace is going to be affected by what’s going on with your partner, what’s going on with your children, what’s going on at home, because these are going to drive your, emotions. So that when you’re at work, you don’t leave those, emotions, in the trunk of your car, you don’t leave them in the parking lot, you take them into work with you and they’re going to influence the way in which you engage with people.

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What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence, is the way in which you utilize your thinking with your feelings in order to make good quality decisions and build up authentic relationships. If you are awash with unpleasant, emotions, because of circumstances that are happening outside of work, you’re not really going to be in a good place, to have a jolly happy relationship with the people that you work with; particularly if you undergo levels of conflict with them and that’s going to mean that you’re not necessarily going to make the best decisions.

Those with a higher degree of, emotional resilience, can handle the stresses that come with daily life more effectively and calmly. They are also able to manage crises more easily. Fortunately, emotional resilience, is a trait that can be developed. In fact, it’s a trait that is worth developing for many reasons, not the least of which is that it can transform your life and your experience of, stress in the workplace.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index

How to Build Your Emotional Resilience

How did become an expert on, emotional intelligence? I was doing a sales job (a very high pressured sales job) within the pharmaceutical industry in and around the teaching hospitals of Central London and I recognized that my, emotions, drove the way in which I engaged with people. Interestingly enough their, emotions, drove the way in which they engaged with meat the time, that was at the end of the last century where nobody had heard of, emotional intelligence.

It wasn’t until the mid 90’s when the first books were published on, emotional resilience, that I suddenly realized, this was what I‘ve been searching for all my life. I asked my self what can I do in terms of working with this idea and concept?

At the time I hadn’t got much more experience than a lot of sales experience and a bit of management experience. So, it was really a case of building that experience, just getting more experience working with people, influencing, persuading people and understanding how they engage.

Myrna: A lot of times, emotional intelligence, has to do with learning to navigate that situation because a lot of times, nothing is wrong with you, but you have a boss or someone that you have to learn to intelligently deal with them.

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Emotional Intelligence Test

Myrna: Is there an, emotional intelligence test?

Robin: The word “test” is not quite right, but people call it a test. Let’s go along with this, I prefer to call it an assessment or an inventory. because a test, it implies that there are right answers and there are wrong answers.

However, I will say that the word test is widely used when we’re talking about, personality tests, and a lot of psychologists will refer to their instruments as tests. So, the answer to your question is – yes, there are quite a few, assessments, or, emotional intelligence test. Some look at measuring abilities, some look at measuring competencies and some mix the two together.

My preference is to look at one that mixes the two together and I’m a great fan of what’s known as the, EQI 2.0, the Emotional Quotient Inventory 2.0. There are other good, emotional intelligence tests, available, but I like that one because it’s got a 360 view.

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The, EQI 2.0, generates a leadership report and there are a wide variety of norms which means that we can select out western managers who are middle aged, between 30 and 40 and identify how people perform against that group.

We can look at a South African norm and see how people perform against that group. The, EQI 2.0, is the most widely used, assessment test, across the world.

Myrna: What exactly are you looking for when you’re doing this, emotional intelligence test?

Robin: Ideally, we’re looking for a sweet spot which is about seven or eight points which suggests that there’s room for improvement, but people have got that level of competency – that ability when it’s appropriate and when the circumstances are right for them to express themselves in that way.

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The Authority Guide to Emotional Resilience

Myrna: In your book “The Authority Guide Emotional Resilience in Business”, you’re combining, emotional intelligence, and, emotional resilience. How are they related?

Robin: Really interesting question because surprisingly, emotional resilience, itself is not a part of an, emotional intelligence, framework. Resilience, is about sticking to something to a certain extent that is measured in the, emotional intelligence assessment.

What we need to do is just to understand what, resilience, is. It’s a component of, stress management. Stress management, is part of, emotional intelligence, particularly if you’re looking at the, EQI 2.0, inventory. It will measure how you, manage stress. it will look at your, stress tolerance, to a certain extent that could be called your, resilience.

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How to Build Your Resilience

If we look at what, resilience, is, resilience, is not what most people think. It’s not about bouncing back, that’s not what, resilience is. Resilience, is having a realistic understanding of the situation that you find yourself in and accepting that things cannot always be brilliant all the time.

Having a kind of realistic optimism that life is good, life is meaningful – that’s an important component of, resilience. Then it’s having the adaptability, the flexibility and the creativity to make the most of the situation and put things to different uses in order to help you to grow and develop through the situation that you find yourself in.

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How Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Resilience Differs

Now a lot of those can’t be measured in the same way that, emotional intelligence, can be measured but, emotional resilience, is how you emotionally utilize all those components to say – okay life is throwing me a bit of a curve ball at the moment. How do I work with it? I don’t like the situation that I find myself in, but what do I do? If you don’t do anything you’re going to fall over and that’s not being, resilient.

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Mental Health is a component of emotional resilience

I think it’s also important to say here that people have got to look at their, mental health. If people are undergoing severe, mental health, issues there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. They’ve just got to seek the support that they need whether it’s clinical or medical support. It could be support from family or friends or a therapist.

It’s getting the support that they need to see them through that awkward patch. There is nothing wrong with having a, mental health, issue.

Myrna: Let’s transition into, stress, your book also deals with, stress. It’s part of the title. What are some of the, strategies to reduce stress, in the workplace using, emotional resilience?

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Using emotional resilience for stress management

Robin: I think one of the easiest and quickest ways to reduce, stress, is to understand your, emotions, and to recognize what, emotions, you are feeling and the impact that they are having upon you. Now, emotions, are emotions. There’s a lot of nonsense said about positive and, negative emotions. We can’t label, emotions, as positive or negative.

We’re experiencing, emotions, for a reason and the important thing is to understand the information that these, emotions, are trying to convey to us. If we’re feeling angry why are we feeling angry? What is it that we need to do in order to work with that anger?

A negative way of utilizing that anger is to bottle it up, and let it get worse or to go and take it out on the wrong person (your partner, your children, the cat or your subordinates in the workplace). That is not effective, stress management.

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How Leaders Use Emotional Intelligence

Myrna: If I’m a leader with, emotional intelligence, I would understand that change is a process and I wouldn’t get upset if there’s a lot of push back from people who are objecting to change. I would understand that it’s a process and sooner or later they will accept change. In the meantime, how do I guide them?

Robin: I think the most, emotionally intelligent, way of dealing with change is finding out what everybody needs and what everybody wants, because some people will need a lot more guidance than others. What I need will be different from what you need.

A good leader will actually adapt what they do and how they communicate with staff. A lot of leaders don’t have that time and are not prepared to put that level of investment into their employees.

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Emotional Intelligence and Stress Management

Myrna: Can you use, emotional intelligence, to, reduce stress? Is there a way you can think your, stress, away?

Robin: Yes, but to a certain extent. It’s also all about, self-awareness; it’s a fundamental component of, emotional intelligence. So, it’s having this knowledge about yourself:

What are you good at,
Are you utilizing your strengths,
Do you know your liabilities,
What are the obstacles that usually prevent you from succeeding?

I‘m not a great advocate for working with liabilities and weaknesses and trying to change them. I look at what you are good at? What makes you really special? I try and get more of that good stuff because if you can do it well, strangely enough all those weaknesses and liabilities disappear.

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Using Emotional Resilience to Manage stress at work

Myrna: When you’re at work, the things that you can control is yourself. You can’t control someone else, you can’t control the situations. If your company decides to move their headquarters and go to a different state there’s nothing you can do about that. All you can do is use your, emotional intelligence, to decide whether you’re going to go or you’re going to stay.

Myrna: Tell our listeners about your book.

Robin: My book is called the “Authority Guided to Emotional Resilience in Business Strategies to Manage Stress, and Weather Storms in the workplace” and of course it can be found on Amazon. I was very pleased for it to be published under the authority guide series, because it actually shows the level of authority behind the messages that are within the book.

But, if people are not interested perhaps in reading a book, I‘ve actually converted the book into an online course.

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Emotional Intelligence for change Course

You can actually go along and watch short little videos around each of the topics. You can look at those in terms of self-paced learning, so that’s another alternative. If people go to courses.ei4change.com, you’ll be able to find the course there. People can download, and get a free, Emotional Intelligence Book.

Additional Resources

Ten Characteristics of a Great Leader