What is The Purpose of Unhappiness?

Does Unhappiness have a Purpose

Does your unhappiness have a purpose? Does your negativity change anything? The answer is no, so why do we choose it?

I just finished reading the book The Power of The Now by Eckhart Tolle and he made the statement that we chose unhappiness even though it serves no purpose. He asked the does your unhappiness change anything?

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Childhood unhappiness: Did it serve you

The book the Course in Miracles states that we believe that when we are unhappy our unhappiness buys us what we want. Not true in fact it pushes what you want further away.

Take a child who has conscious parents. Let’s say the child decides to throw a temper tantrum because they want to watch TV or they want a toy or candy. Any good parent will not give it to them, in fact if my kids threw a tantrum or cried for anything, they never got that thing.  Just recently my foster daughter cried because she wanted to watch TV and she thought crying and carrying on would get her TV instead the TV was removed from her room. So, if crying and unhappiness did not get us what we wanted as children, why do you still use it as adults?

All negativity is resistance. Negativity ranges from irritation to fierce anger.

The ego believes that through negativity, it can change reality and get what it wants. It believes that through unhappiness it can attract a desirable condition or dissolve an undesirable one.

If your mind did not believe that unhappiness works, then why would it create it?

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Negativity keeps undesirable conditions in place

The fact is that negativity does not work; instead of attracting a desirable condition, it stops it from arising. Instead of resolving an undesirable one it keeps if in place.

Its only useful function of negativity, is that it strengthens the ego and that is why the ego loves it.

What is the ego? The ego is that portion of the human personality which is experienced as the “self” or “I” and is in contact with the external world through perception.

No other life form on the planet knows negativity, only humans. Just as no other life form poisons the earth that sustains it. Have you ever seen 2 ducks fight? They fight and then go their separate ways and then flap their wings to release the negativity and they are done. Humans carry around that negativity for decades. He did that to me! This negativity becomes, depression.

There is a line in the Matrix that says that Humans destroy their environment or land and then moves on the next place. What are you destroying with your unhappiness?

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Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

What is the purpose of unhappiness

Think about it. Has nagging your spouse ever resulted in him becoming the spouse that you want them to be or did it have the opposite effect? That is why the Bible teaches that a man would rather live on the roof top than live in a house with a nagging wife.

So today, I want to shine a light on unhappiness. Why do we create it if it does not get us what we want?

There are life situations that create unhappiness

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Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

How to be happy:  we have 3 choices:

  • We can remove ourselves from the situation
  • We can change how we think about the situation
  • Or we can accept the situation completely.

These are the options in, how to be happy. What good does it we do none of the these things, but just live with unhappiness? If you can successfully find which negative behavioral and cognitive patterns are making you unhappy, and address them, you’ll be able to start feeling happier in less time than you may think.

I will tell you what it does. It creates disease in the body and sends you to an early grave, but it never gets you what you want. Unhappiness serves no purpose other than to make you sick.

Even if you throw a temper tantrum and you get the toy in the store or your spouse gives in. Ultimately your unhappiness returns. It is only temporarily satiated.

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna.

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Find Your Purpose: What's in Your Hand

How to be Happy with Less

Finding Beauty in your now

What does it take to be happy? We live in a culture where, happiness, is largely based on external forces – like what we get and what we achieve. And when our life conditions don’t match our expectations, we experience pain and fear, we suffer. But imagine what it would feel like to create a constant sense of inner peace and freedom, and live each day in a beautiful state of, happiness.

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What’s preventing you from, happiness, and living a life of peace and joy?

Do you believe that others make you happy or are responsible for your, happiness? I used to think so.  Until I realized that the definition of, happiness, is true.  Happiness, is moving in the direction of your goals and dreams. So because my, happiness, comes from my thoughts and actions, I take away the responsibility of my spouse, friends, co-workers being responsible for my, happiness.

I encourage you to Discover what’s holding you back from being happy. Tap into finding inner peace through meditation and mindfulness that you can use to start living in the, present moment. Happiness, is only found in the present moment. Not in the future or the past. This is the time to sit with your feelings of, unhappiness, pain and regret and maybe find the lesson in them.

Once you sit with pain and, unhappiness, and not try to mask it with drugs, food or any of the things you do to not feel your pain, you can step into the unknown, and allow life to unfold in the beautiful way it is meant to.

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How to be Happy in life,  in the present moment

One of the ways I live in the, present moment, is I become aware of the little things that is taking away my, happiness.  The small irritations like my husband not answering the phone when I call or my kids leaving the house and saying where they are going.

Learn, how to be happy in life, in the, present moment. No one is responsible for your, happiness. If you live in the present moment then the hurts from the past can't bother you.  I remember when Jennifer Gardner was being interviewed about the betrayal of Ben Aflac. He had cheated on her and they were separated and there was a big scandal.  Jennifer tried to stay in the, present moment, and be thankful for her 4 kids. She also said that Ben was not responsible for her, happiness. She alone is responsible for her, happiness.

Great lesson because when we give our power away, people will always trample on us.  Life gives sand life takes away.  The trick to, happiness, is not to be attached to the outcome.

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

How to be happy in life, by relaxing and releasing

When I feel the, unhappiness, or irritation coming on me, I practice R&R  relax and release. When you feel that unwanted frustration you relax breathe deeply and release blow it out. Breathe deeply and blow it out through your mouth.

I learnt this in therapy.  When a situation makes you, unhappy, and you don't attend to the hurt or pain.  We stuff it down. We are not aware of what we are doing but we are hard wired to move away from pain and move towards pleasure, so when we feel pain or, unhappiness, we run from it.

So we self medicate with drugs, alcohol, food, sex, or whatever is around.  In that way, we bury the pain.  Whenever something is in the vicinity of this pain, we feel this tension in our gut because that is where we stored this pain.  We begin to be, unhappy and we are not even sure why so we again stuff it down with drugs, alcohol, food and sex.  We never want to feel.

To stop this cycle.  Whenever you feel this feeling.  Don't try to stuff down instead relax into it.  Feel the pain, sit with it. Then breathe.  Breathe to relax into it and then breathe it out. Try it next time some external situation makes you, unhappy.

5 Ways to Radiate on the Happiness Wheel

How to be Happy in life, with Less

In the, pursuit of happiness, material things such as money, a big house, fame, or fancy cars do not make us happy.  Instead we need to first love and accept ourselves to be happy.  Money or fame magnifies our, unhappiness, because now you are not sure who your friends are and you become obsessed about keeping this wealth.

How to be happy in life, with less is learning to find happiness in relationships, with family, with health, with being alive.

Daily habits to find, happiness 
  1. Smile. You tend to smile when you're happy. …
  2. Exercise. Exercise isn't just for your body, it is for the mind.  It releases endorphins for, happiness.
  3. Get plenty of sleep, serotonin, the feel good hormone is released during sleep.  That is why we are bitchy and, unhappy, with lack of sleep.
  4. Eat with the, pursuit of happiness, in mind. …
  5. Be grateful. Gratitude is the forerunner to, happiness.  You can't be, unhappy, if you are feeling, gratitude
  6. Give a compliment – giving a compliment makes other happy and that is turn makes you happy.  Happiness, is serving others.
  7. Breathe deeply. – breathing deeply releases tension in our muscles and relaxes the body.
  8. Acknowledge the unhappy moments – don't try to stuff them down or ignore them. They are already here. Acknowledge them and let them know you see them and that this too shall pass. You will be able to look back at these moments and laugh one day.