Tag Archives: emotional intelligence

How to Release the Issues Held in Your Tissues

You have to heal in order to, transform, you have to, transform, in order to heal. You could address, tissue health, through some form of deep massage.  But if you address structural health first, without first addressing, tissue, the unhealthy tissue pulls the structure back out of play. Your, tissues, would be your, fascia, your muscles, your ligaments, your tendons, your bone.  When those, tissues, are unhealthy, when you push into them, guess what you find? You find pain.

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Stress and tissue health

Myrna: How did your mindset play into your transformation?

Christopher: Yeah, well for me my mind that has always been one of, transformation. So that was already in place, right. What I needed to learn is that stored, stress, meaning, unresolved stress, transforms into physical tension and that physical tension when it reaches a certain level, it creates what's called, emotional distortion. Mental stress, transforms into physical tension, that tension can get so high that it generates, emotional distortion.

And so, in order to transform you have to walk back through the door as you came in. And so, what I discovered is that 99.99999% of all human beings store their maximal saturation of, stress, tension and distortion, is about 86.4% average. Okay, so that means if I lined every human up on the planet right now, and I could work on them, we would find that they only have 15% of their mental, emotional, spiritual and physical capacity that isn't severely stressed.

It's funny because if you look into data, surrounded around intelligence, what do they tell you? They tell you that the average human is operating at about 10% Right? And the ones who are operating really high, functioning really high. They're getting about 12%. Right? So, the math is the same. Well, let's do the inverse of that.

What if we could reduce your lifetime accumulated, stress load, by 50%? What would that do to your intelligence? What would that do to your, physical intelligence? What would that do to your, emotional intelligence? What would that do to your, spiritual intelligence? What would that do to your, analytical intelligence? The truth is it would raise it dramatically. Okay, so not only was I discovering that along the way as I was moving attention to, stress, and the distortion and the, toxicity, from my body, I was having powerful mental insights and awareness every single day.

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Transforming unhealthy tissue to healthy tissue

Myrna: Okay, so tell us about that. What was how did you fall into that number one, I know that you were working on your master's and doctorate degrees in traditional Chinese medicine. For instance, you talk about your compound, complex stressors, and they started from the time you were a baby, a couple of days old, guide us through how this, transformation, of our stressors can help us to operate in a higher emotional capacity.

Christopher: As you remove tension from the body, and I'm talking about something very different than yoga for traditional stretching. What I'm talking about is changing, bone rotational relationships. And what that means is that you have different forms of health. So, you have, tissue health, so your tissue would be your, fascia, your muscles, your ligaments, your tendons, your bone, so to be in your structural tissue, when those, tissues, are unhealthy, when you push into them, guess what you find? You find pain. Okay, all right. You find discomfort.

If I lay on a table now, and we started running my elbow across all those little muscles across your back, we might find discomfort and pain. If we did that across the back of your legs and neck, shoulder, your jaw, wherever you have pain and discomfort there's a blockage of the natural flow of energy. Okay. So, in order to access the greatest amount of intelligence going inside of you, what would you have to do? You would have to remove the roadblocks and so the first step is you have to address, tissue health.

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Fix tissue health before structural health

Because if you address, structural health, first, without first addressing, tissue, the, unhealthy tissue, pulls the structure back out of play. Right. And so, there's a system out there that I've been developing called best of science, bioenergetic self-transformation sequence. For me, the most important part of the process is because it breaks the codependent dependent relationship between practitioners and patients.

Let's say I have a headache that I have to go to my acupuncturist, or I have to go to Walgreens to pick up some medicine then what's gonna happen?  I'm reliant on something outside of me in order to resolve something inside. But what if there was a way to actually learn how to move your body, how to resolve tension and, stress, get your, tissues healthy, so that you can resolve it from the inside out and not need someone from the outside.

That would put you in a very powerful position, because it means you could then determine how much time energy and effort you wanted to put into your body, brain and nervous system to produce the results. That you wanted to make yourself feel better every single day.

Myrna: That is awesome, I have an episode called “We hold issues in our tissues.”

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

The issues are in your tissues

Christopher: I'm the one who coined that phrase, “The issues are in your tissues.”

So, the, issues are in your tissues. I'm glad that's passed along. I coined that phrase 22 years ago. I'm happy to hear that it's gone around the world and come back to me. So, tissue health, right? Whenever your body's toxic, your, tissues, get unhealthy. Why? Because where does the, toxicity, sit? It's in your, tissues. And so, you want to remove that out of the, tissues, and the way to do that is through a simple system that I've been developing called machine, M A, Space X.

So, somebody's walking up and down your body and you're getting the feel or the discomfort that in those parts, that as a person starts to actually breathe relative to the true level of sensation that they're feeling. You know what happens? The body lets go of all of the, toxicity. Yes, I've had people their discomfort levels were like 13 out of 10. I get their breath up to a third team. And then literally 10 seconds later, they're lying there in complete comfort. Then I don't see them for a couple years. They come back and see me I get back on their body and guess what? They're still no discomfort. Right. So, this is what I mean by true, transformation.

I don't want to have to go see my chiropractor every Thursday, or every other Wednesday for 10 years. I want an immediate, instantaneous solution. Because if people are coming in and they're investing money, they need solutions.

Myrna: I know what you are talking about, my sister had a car accident and hurt her neck and she's been going to the chiropractor for 10 years!

I know that we're energetic beings. And when you talk about, your issues are in your tissues, I understand.  But I also work with the chakra systems, and I know that the energy gets blocked.  How are you, releasing the issues in your tissues?  Are we using the mind to clear the energy or how are we doing this?

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

You have to transform to heal tissues

Christopher: Well, there's several ways to do it. Okay, so we can always love when someone wants to transform. Transformation, begins with where you where you started, which is mentally, right, you have to set a clear intent. Because once you set clear intent, the universe lines up behind you to bring you the people, the resources, the dynamic situation that you need, in order to go on the transformational healing process, okay. And it's impossible to, transform, if you don't eat. Those things are inextricably connected at the root.

You have to heal in order to transform, you have to transform, in order to heal. So, you could go through addressing the, tissues, and , tissue health, through some form of deep massage. I don't mean going to the therapist and having somebody rub oil on and then paying them $200 bucks an hour. I live in Marina Del Rey, I promise you right now, I could find a $300 massage where they're gonna rub oil on me and play nice music in the background and three days later, I'm going to wake up with the same level of discomfort in my body. That is a terrible investment. Right? That would be like me going out and spending $300 on Bitcoin right now. Right?

Well, I'm talking about is spending $300 going into your body into the depth of where this stuff begins breathing, right breathing, matching your breath to the true level of sensation. If your, tissue, sensation is a seven out of 10 which that's quite an uncomfortable, okay. 10 is the maximum that's as uncomfortable as could possibly get and your breath is at a three.

You're gonna hold on to that discomfort. But if your breath is at a seven your, tissue sensation, is at a seven guess what happens when those two things match when your emotional body your breath and your physical body. The physical sensations match, guess what's going to happen?

Your pain disappears. It drops out. Guess what your body's always asking for, it's asking to be met emotionally. And when it's met emotionally, the brain goes okay, let it go. We got exactly what we needed.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
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Holding issues in your tissues

Yes, going back to the, issues in our tissues. Whatever issues that I had in store there and people have them everywhere, you know, whether it's so I get that you go down the rabbit hole you identify the source. And then you know it let's say there might be two hours and I'm listening and I'm investigating. And then I need to see those their story match up with their body, right? And then I go in and I start in on the, issues in the tissues, and 100% of the time, the story that they gave is exactly what's going on inside of their body. And what I mean by the story that they gave me about the environment that they were raised.

So, let's say I have a father who is dutiful, okay, super disciplined, hardworking, and you grow up in an environment like that and you're more of an artistic emotional child. Right? That's gonna leave a specific kind of imprint in you. And you're gonna build very specific kinds of strategies in order to avoid punishment, rejection, humiliation, violence, discomfort and pain from that parent. Right?

And so, what's the first step we have to do? We have to locate how that parent impacted you. Then we need to figure out how did your mom impact you? And every time their story about their mom and their story about their dad matches up with exactly what's going on in their body. It's happened every single time. And so now you're matching the story in the investigation with the body. And guess what we go in and start removing that tension and that, stress, and their relationship with their parents. Changes in one day.

They understand them, then they forgive them, they give them a space to be themselves. The most important thing is they're never ever triggered by their parent again.

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How to resolve complex stressors on a subconscious level

Myrna: You had all these, complex stressors. How did you resolve that?

Christopher: I resolved that with the steps that I'm explaining, but the impact was it changed the way in which I relate energetically and emotionally with women of authority. Okay, so you know a lot of my female teachers in high school says that I was kind and smart and charming, but I wouldn't be willing to talk back.  I never had any challenges with my male authoritative figures when I was going to boarding school, my female teachers would trigger me in a way at a deep subconscious level. When I say conscious, unconscious, subconscious, super conscious, I mean, either the mental and emotional, physical or spiritual level.

All right, so think about the, unconscious, or let's start with the smallest the, conscious mind, as one grain of sand. Okay, everyone out there trying to manage their entire life with this tiny grain of sand, where your, unconscious, is more like a 55-gallon drum of sand. But your, subconscious, is all the sand on planet Earth. And your, super conscious, is all the sand in the universe. Right? And most humans are trying to manage everything in our life with that tiny grain of sand, trying to understand all of reality. The, conscious mind, doesn't have the ability to do that. And the reason why I'm giving this as a precursor is for people to understand.

When I say, subconscious, or, unconscious, the form of intelligence, and the vastness of that form of intelligence. Okay, so at the subconscious level, we're talking about all the all the intelligence on planet Earth, okay? So, most humans are using their body like it's a skateboard, one grain of sand. When you have massive amounts of tension and, stress, in it, remember, the average human being is that about 86.4%, stress.

So we go through the process, regardless of what your situation is, when you had a very complex, dynamic, stressors, that were coming in. For you had something a little less depending on your level of sensitivity, it still puts you at 86.4% because when you're in your mother's womb, your mother and father seed and age are mixing together and all of the, epigenetics, all of the unresolved unconscious, survival-based strategies are being baked into your nervous system.

Book Free for Life
Book Free for Life

Book Free for Life

That’s the purpose of my work and my book “Free for life” or body intelligence is to get every human factor neutrality, because when you're in neutrality, you add nothing in you take nothing away, you simply see things for what they are free of judgment, criticism, disapproval or overly moralizing position.

Now 50 years ago, okay, that wasn't possible. The only things humans had was the ability to manage their life with their mind. And the more intelligent you were, the easier it was for you to manage the complex stresses that you're in. So, at some point, the, complex stressors, in human evolution outweigh what the mind can manage and then they started leaning on caffeine. They started leaning on recreational drugs.

They started leaning on alcohol, they started leaning on refined sugar. They started leaning on now the worst thing in the world, pharmaceutical drugs. They're leaning on them simply to attempt to manage their lifetime accumulated, stress load. That's a combination of the experiences they've had in this life, and all of the experiences that their ancestors had before they were born, that are all based on survival, which means they're based in fight or flight dynamics.

Myrna: Well, that's basically what's happening in the African American community. I found that the generational stuff is coming through, from slavery.  And you also told me that your father was from Africa. So, you've got some, stressors, there too. I definitely agree that the only thing I would add to what you just talked about the, subconscious, and the, superconscious, is that most people, let's say 95% don't understand that the, subconscious, is what's, what's guiding them.

Conclusion

Connect with Christopher on the web www.truebodyintelligence.com.  If you would like to work with Christopher, send him an email at support@truebodyintelligence.com

Additional Resources 

Using The Inner Game To Become The Richest Real Estate Agent

Ben Oosterveld became a, real estate agent, and a coach and said I would literally show the agents how to do sales using their, inner game.  I convinced 12, real estate agents, to coach with me, and I said, I'm gonna really kill this. I'm going to destroy it. It's not going to be hard. I know how to do it, but I'm going to do it alongside you.

And it was the weirdest coaching program ever. I said only one group of people are ever going to see this and I became Rookie of the Year.  My first year I did over 80 transactions. But I but I also hired an assistant within my first three weeks, because I was businessman.

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Bio

Ben Oosterveld, didn’t have an easy start. He lived on the streets from the age of 14, survived a failed suicide attempt at age 15, and later spent 365 days in rehab. Ben's, inner game, needed work. He was a pure-bred, people pleaser, manipulative & controlling man who always compared himself to others to the point of constant self-sabotage.

Ben has since coached entrepreneurs and national companies. Previously, he built a real estate investment company that held 61 properties with investors in 4 different cities. After getting his real estate license, he built a multimillion-dollar real estate business with an award winning top national team in 3 years.

Today, Ben helps business owners and, real estate agents, get clear about who they really are and what they really want. He helps them make the right changes in their business and life with the new goal of building a life they love. His focus is on coaching, speaking, and running personal growth retreats. Ben loves business but his real obsession is helping people break free of the old patterns that hold them back in life. The, inner game, is everything to him and he is on a mission to find his tribe, one extraordinary person at a time.

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How Ben found his inner game

Myrna; : Can you share your backstory, why you were suicidal and bridge the gap for us and how you went from there to here?

Ben: Sure, I grew up in a tough childhood. I had good parents, but my dad was not in a place to be a parent. He has his own backstory that shaped him. And yeah, just I started running away from home when I was 12 and lived on the streets. I was a very industrious kid, but still and I would find places to sleep and just honestly just got into drugs. Alcohol found a place of acceptance. I never felt accepted.

I got really good at doing drugs as a young kid, every day just getting go.  I ended up trying to commit suicide and committed in a psychiatric ward. I broke out of the psychiatric ward as a kid and that was on the news. My parents told me the news it was a pretty crazy story. But there's lots of stories within all these stories, but I went to a place called Teen Challenge. I went to 365-day rehab center, my plan was I was gonna give this one last try. And I went and that helped me. It helped me a lot.

And then I went into the world. I got into sales. I got into selling. My dad was a salesman, so it's just ironic that I got into sales. I desperately wanted his approval and his love thinking that was the missing hole in my life, thinking that was the actual hole that I needed to fill was based around my father relationship. But it was a relationship with myself. I didn't realize that till later. And I figured, you know, we got to work on this relationship with my dad and, and he was really interested in to me when I was doing things that he was interested in.

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The performance mentality to crush real estate sales

I built the, performance mentality. You know, people pleasing, mentality where I felt loved when I worked hard, so became a workaholic. My dad was a salesman and a financial planner. I became a, salesman. But I'd be not just a, salesman, I became number one, salesman. I had this weird drive that but if I wasn't number one, I was nothing. I had this huge gap happiness was always based on my performance, and what other people would say about me.  I knew I could control what other people say if I just become number one.

I became a, real estate investor, and the first year or so I bought 41 properties and ended up building a, real estate investment, company. I ended up coaching, real estate agents. We changed the investment company when the crash happened. That was a pretty huge hit in my psychology, because I was always winning, and I didn't know what it was like to not win. I cried at my desk. I went through a lot then I hired a, life coach. And I hired someone I thought he was a, business coach.

His name was Mr. McKernan and I worked with him for eight years. And he was the first guy to challenge me. I was a very strong, strong person. I could tell myself stories and I could convince you and me of these stories. And a lot of times we just got to identify some self-awareness around these people that are going on with their stories.  I've really niched out in, real estate, to help the, real estate industry and, real estate agents.

Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

Becoming an inner game coach

I actually became a, real estate agent, and a coach and I would literally show the agents how to do sales. So, I convinced 12, real estate agents, to coach with me, and I said, I'm gonna really kill this. I'm going to destroy it. It's not going to be hard. I know how to do it, but I'm going to do it alongside you. And it was the weirdest coaching program ever. I said only one group of people are ever going to see this and I became Rookie of the Year.  My first year I did over 80 transactions. But I but I also hired an assistant within my first three weeks, because I was businessman.

Why would you buy a restaurant and try to cook and serve all at the same time?  Real estate agents, all over the country are doing everything themselves. And I realize it's the thinking that's the problem. They think they can keep selling and selling, but they forget that you could build a, referral base, every single year bigger and bigger and eventually if you did 1000 deals in your lifetime and you have a 10% referral rate, you'd have 100 sales every single year without even spending $1 in marketing. So, no one's playing the long game. I coach now helping, real estate agents, put in the right systems in place, so they can buy back their time because a business is if you're a, salesman, you got to grind it out.

But if you're a business owner, what you're doing is designing your company to serve the life that you want. The question is what else do you want? And that's where I'm a blackbelt, because I can help people uncover what they want. Now we create that then we say how much does that cost? Cool. So, you only need 200 grand a year to have the life you want when you thought you needed a million.

Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

People pleasing and the inner game

So, we do a lot of work regarding the, inner game, and figuring out what they want. Most people don't know. My journey has been this weird, obsessed with human behavior and psychology because I was broken and I hated myself. So, I just was I tried to fix myself along the way and then the, inner game, really changed me.

It's been many, many lessons. We could talk for long. I'm sure we could share stories. The thing is, though, the biggest one. The biggest one happened the last, say three years for me. I've done well. I've done been doing this for years now. But the thing is, I got to a place where I would see something in my life and I want to fix it. I want to fix, people pleasing, manipulative, anger, whatever you can choose, anxiety, and I looked at it and I say I don't want that in me.

So now I'm going to use my skill of attacking and my builder skill, which is like, let's figure out how to get it down. I would study and try to attack these ailments that I had that I didn't like. But the more I fixed them, I find more, fix more and find more, that's when I realized I knew I know a lot of knowledge and I can help a lot of people. But I realized I was digging myself into a hole of unsatisfied anxiety, depression, hatred, through the, Personal Growth Movement. Because I just found that I was still broken.

Then I would go into judgment and say I should feel better. I'm doing all these, personal growth tools, and affirmations and all this stuff. But it was judgment because I didn't feel better. I felt like I could get through stuff, but I had five more things in me that needed to be fixed. So that fixer in the builder just led me to more fixing and builder and what I realized is self-acceptance is enlightenment.

Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Why hiring an assistant is setting realtors up for success

Myrna: Yeah, you got so many nuggets in there. I got to remember which ones I want to circle back to. Okay. All right. Let me take let me let me test my memory here. So, the first thing I want to circle back on was and you hired an assistant right away.  A lot of, real estate agents, wouldn't understand that because we know in, real estate, you don’t make enough money to hire and assistant when you just get started. I interviewed a guy a couple months ago on the on the show and he became a top, commercial Realtor, in in San Francisco. And he was talking that for the first two years he didn't get a paycheck because of course he was working on big deals.

We know as, Realtors, when you come in, you don't always get the 10 deals a month. You get a little bit of money. And you're not thinking of hiring someone. You said you went in and immediately hired someone because you understood sales.

Ben: I hired an assistant because I was planning to be successful. Are you planning to fail?

Myrna: Yeah, exactly. That's a good tagline. You know, don't plan to fail, you know, set your business up for success.

Ben: I'm dealing with hiring an assistant, it's my secret way to get to find out where you psychologically create emotional friction. So, watch this. Hey, why don't you hire an assistant? Well, I don't have money or time. I don't know what to do. Hold on. That's all emotional friction. Let me change your thinking for some of the people on the show right now that have a business or anything. I'll just do it really quickly.

Can you afford $20 a week? Of course, you can. So, what we need to do is not go to the black belt hire, I gotta get you to hire well white belt, because I need you to get a psychological win.  I want for you to become a CEO or a boss. The learning curve is way too high. But if I can get someone to manage your birthday system to make sure that you send a birthday card to every single client, I call that project hiring. You can practice being a boss and the cost is 20 bucks, one hour a week. It's the only mindset first, real estate coaching, in the world. It's called the Richest Real Estate Agent Facebook group.

Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Definition of the inner game

Myrna: Okay, I love that. I will definitely join that. But you know in my defense, I focus a lot on my time on my podcast.  Explain what you mean by the, inner game?

Ben: The, inner game, it's the relationship with yourself. When you wake up in the morning, how do you feel? It’s your, emotional intelligence. Let's talk about, people pleasers. If you're a, people pleaser, you are extremely selfish person. I can speak about it because I got the medal of honor. And so, here's the thing, let's play this game with the readers and even ourselves. If someone says something like this, “You let me down.” If you can really take a second, close your eyes and think about how that would make you feel with someone that mattered. People pleasers, only please the people that matter.

Myrna: I would feel pretty bad. I would feel that I let you down and since I'm a caring person, that would bother me.

Ben: Correct, you have this internal energy this chaos that says, I don't like this feeling that I get when someone lets me down.  By the way I can manipulate anybody with that right now. All I got to do is say you let me down and I can pull the strings on people, that's manipulation. So, if you just be very careful, miss everyone wants to be an independent man, independent woman. Great. So, if you're a, people pleaser, super easy to control. FYI. That's how you give your power away. Second thing is this, if you are people pleasing, you act as if it's about the other person. And it's such a lie, because all I want is that feeling to go away.

So, I got to make sure you're not upset with me. That has nothing to do with the, is all about making sure I don't feel those emotions. Because it makes me feel bad. So, who are you really pleasing?  Yourself.  How do you like when someone says I'm doing something for you, but they're not using you so really, as a, people pleaser, you use people. No wonder there's no real deep connection.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Language and personality types

Myrna: That's true. That's a different way of looking at it. That's a different spin. Tell us about the 16 Psychological languages.

Ben: we're born with 16 personality types and we all are the same human. There are 16 through the study of 100 years of psychology, there's 16 combinations of personality. So, when we say that's just my personality, you're all personalities you just haven't visited say the organizing person, you're more of a winged person or you're more of a detailed person, you're more of this, so forth. So, this is years and years of studying humans is understanding myself as being my obsession, and now I understand the people and I'll give you an example.

Let's just do a practical example on a language understanding human language. So, let's say that, you're a real estate agent, and you go into a house, let's say I'm brand-new, real estate agent. I sit down and the client askes me, so how long you've been in the business, I'm thinking who says that? What if I'm brand new, you know? I'm gonna feel terrible.

And so here's the thing. I look at a guy like that. And so, speaking his language, he has the balls to hit me with a bat. That is a test on my credibility. Okay, we have to understand that we can stop being so self-centered, and observe how people talk to us. Here's the trick. Here's some tactical training. The guy says, how long you been in the business? You have to hit him with a sarcastic hit and you got to be direct, or you'll lose the guy's credibility. That's understanding his language.

So, I would say, you know what? I've only been in the business under a year. And I might not be your, real estate agent. Then I'd say to him, I'd say, but I do know someone 40 years in the business, her name's Betty. She has a walker. If that's how you're going to choose, let me give you her your number right now. And then guess what he says, I like this guy. I want to hire him. Because  sarcasm  is the language of the logical, but then later, they become loyal.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Using language to build connection and rapport

Myrna: So you're really pretty confident to do that. That's pretty good.

Ben: In my course I teach the psychology of all the languages and when someone teaches sales training, I think it's manipulative. What I do is it's like, I look at human connection.

So there's building connection and rapport through tactics or authenticity, and then one is rich, but people pleasing one is real. Like if I really understand you, I'll probably find out what makes you tick. What's your nostalgic value? That’s what I think of when I meet a client. So, this isn't this isn't mirroring, its building rapport. This is truly at a psychological level, making a connection.

Myrna: Tell us about your podcast is called the, Inner Game.

Ben: I am no longer doing the, Inner Game, Podcast. We're all in on bringing mindset and personal growth and business mindset versus worker mindset to, real estate. And so, I'm focused 100% of that in my podcast is called “The, Richest Real Estate Agent. The other thing is I have a book coming out called the real “The richest real estate agent: how to build a seven-figure business without sacrificing your relationships.” It's the first mindset book for, real estate agents, with full tactical training. Never ever has this been combined. We're going to be going after the, inner game, for, real estate agents, and that's our focus.

Book The Richest Real Estate Agent
Book The Richest Real Estate Agent

Conclusion

And so that's the book, the podcast and our group on Facebook is all The, Richest Real Estate Agent.  I also run, personal growth, retreats that I do that once a year for people that want to bring up their teams or whatever, and I take them on a three-day kind of off grid or adventure retreats. And that's three days I can't even compare to the effectiveness of what three days away on one of my retreats does for the for the head and the heart. All these information can be found on my website www.benoosterveld.com

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/create-a-freedom-lifestyle-with-investment-property/