About Myrna Young :
Myrna Young , Certified Professional Coach, Author, Realtor, and Host of the Transform your Mind Radio TV and podcast.
The mission of the Transform Your Mind Radio and Podcast is to positively impact women to improve their lives by controlling their minds. Using faith and belief to make their dreams become a reality.
Visit Myrna on her main website is www.myhelps.us for more free resources.
email: info@myhelps.us
The, happiness recipe, is super simple. Do more of what matters to you, and less of the rest.
Simple, though obviously doesn’t mean easy. There’s a lot that goes into that very short phrase and into the execution of that very short phrase. Becky Morrison is a mom, wife and lawyer turned, Happiness Coach has identified what she thinks are the three areas that stop us from executing on this, happiness recipe.
Becky Morrison is a mom, wife and lawyer turned, Happiness Coach. Her mission is to spread joy. She believes most people can live happier, easier lives if they get clear on what matters most to them and then develop a plan to do more of that and less of the rest. She wants to enable people to find clarity and happiness, so everyone wins.
Now she’s using her experience coupled with her own journey to help people supercharge their success and happiness by: finding clarity; taking the next steps in their career; overcoming overwhelm; going from idea to action; and, stepping into their authentic leadership presence.
Myrna: Your story of coming from corporate lawyer to, happiness coach, reminds me of the first book I read in my quest for enlightenment and, personal growth. And that is the book called from Robin Sharma that’s called “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.”
So, for those who didn’t know Robin Sharma, the character in the book is a corporate lawyer who had a heart attack. And then he went to live with amongst the monks in the Himalayan mountains and he changed his life. So, how did it happen for you?
Becky: Well, I mean, it was not quite that glamorous or fun for me, but it is a story of evolution and, transformation. And it starts with me doing what a lot of us do, which is doing all the things I thought I was supposed to do.
Going to the good school,
getting the good grades,
getting the job,
going back to graduate school to become an attorney,
then getting the job at the big law firm with the big paycheck to be on the partnership track.
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Then one night 16 years later, I found myself sitting on the floor of the bathroom, with a toddler in the tub, and the cordless phone clip to the back of my pants, and the toilet seat cover down with a notebook on it and papers spread all around me. And I was doing two things at the same time. I was bathing my toddler daughter and trying to prepare an expert witness for their upcoming deposition.
I had two thoughts in super quick succession. The first thought was, who says you can’t do it all? Look at me. I’m a mom, I’m a lawyer. I’m here. I’m killing it. This is amazing. That was quickly followed by and I’m exhausted. Is this unsustainable? And perhaps more importantly, and more scarily, I’m not sure this is making me happy.
And that kicked off my own quest for, transformation, and, personal growth. I had to figure out, well, okay, what does it mean, if I’ve done all of the things that I was supposed to do? And I checked all the boxes? And I’m not happy?
What the heck does, happiness, come from then? If it’s not from success? If it’s not from the results?
You talked about, happiness, is working towards a purpose or a goal.
What am I working towards here?
Why am I here In this season of my life?
What is my top priority?
What is the most important thing?
I panicked. And I started to think about what can I do? And the reality is, I can do a lot of things. I’m a lawyer, with a ton of management experience, a whole bunch of process experience. I’ve been a CEO, I mean, the list of jobs that I could apply for is pretty long. And thankfully, I had some voices in my life who said, timeout?
This is an opportunity, what do you want to do? Not what can you do, but what do you want to do? And that’s how I landed in this business of helping other people chart their success and, happiness.
The Definition of happiness
Myrna: That’s a good story. I love your evolution. One of the things I will add is when you’re in a tub bathing your child and doing work, you’re not giving her the attention she deserves.
Becky: So true, I wasn’t fully focused on one or the other. I had split focus and split focus is not efficient, effective or meaningful.
Myrna: So right. Yes, that’s what mothers do. You know, they have one of the hips and they’re doing it all. So, that moment was the start of your, your evolution, your, transformation. You asked yourself the question Is this making me happy? I’m working towards a goal. I’m working towards partnership, you’re immediately disrupting my, definition of happiness.
My, definition of happiness, is working steadily towards a goal or purpose
I guess the other part of that is, fulfillment. And somehow your work wasn’t hitting the, fulfillment, button inside.
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How do we identify the essential sources of happiness?
Becky: How do we find our essential, sources of happiness? I have a little exercise that I like to do with people that might seem silly or small, but it’s not. And it’s about developing a menu of things that you can do, that are easy and accessible, that you know, are going to create a positive emotional experience for you.
We can use Oprah’s, sources of happiness, sitting in the bathtub. We need to do to get down to the essential, sources of our joy, or have those positive emotional experiences is to ask a few more questions. Get down to the simple things that you can do to add, happiness, into your daily life.
When I’m sitting with a client is ask them to brainstorm a list of five to seven things that are their, sources of happiness. I ask them not to judge because on my list, one of my, sources of happiness, is clean sheets!
Then taking one on that list and asking yourself, what about that makes me happy? So, take the Oprah example. What about being in the bathtub that brings you, happiness?
Is it the solitude?
Is it the warmth of my water?
Is it the time with my thoughts?
There’s something more than just the bathtub that brings you, happiness.
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Invite your nervous system to become a partner in your happiness?
Becky: Happiness, makes you feel good or, or when you’re doing the things that make you happy in that moment, right? You feel good, and it helps with your health, and it helps with resilience and all that. But your nervous system is a little different.
A lot of times more, happiness, for us lives on the other side of some sort of change. Whether it’s change in behavior, change in circumstance, change in mindset. And at the most basic level, one of the important jobs that our nervous system plays is to keep us safe, literally, to keep us alive. That’s where the, fight or flight, response, comes from.
Often when we’re trying to make a change, it can feel uncomfortable and unpleasant, because it is our, nervous system, is saying, no, no, no, please don’t. I know how to keep you safe; this new activity is not safe. I have no data on it. So, often we mistake that discomfort as a sign that we shouldn’t do it.
Myrna: That’s true that our brain’s function is to warn us about impending danger and to keep us safe. Which is why One of the first things I learned myself on my journey of self-improvement is you got to get out your, comfort zone, because whenever you sit In your comfort zone you’re not moving, and you’re not growing.
Becky: Sometimes I worry that when I say the, happiness recipe, people are going to be like, That’s it? But here’s the deal. And you’ve sort of set it in your definition. But the recipe for maximum, happiness, is super simple.
Do more of what matters to you, and less of the rest.
Simple, though, obviously, doesn’t mean easy. There’s a lot that goes into that very short phrase and into it’s execution. I’ve identified what I think are the three areas of the, happiness recipe. Three areas where there can be gaps that stop us from executing on the, happiness recipe.
And the first is what I call the, authenticity gap. Do we know what matters most to us? And are we willing to claim it publicly? Because to live it, you must be willing to speak it. You must be willing to share it. Be willing to have other people see it.
Then there’s the middle gap of the, happiness recipe. I call that the, emotional energy gap, or the, mindset gap, that’s all the beliefs and feelings that get in the way of us executing on that knowledge of what makes us happy.
We know what matters most to us, we know the goal or purpose that we want to be working towards; but do we have the, mindset, and belief that will allow us to make that happen?
3. The third gap in the, happiness recipe, is the, physical energy gap, which is really the execution piece. Do you align your time energy and resources with what matters most to you? I call it priority aligned living.
You told us about your book the , happiness recipe, we all know we can pick up a copy on Amazon, but give us your website and maybe a couple of your social media handles or so that people can connect with you.
Becky: My website which is www.untanglehappiness.com. And on there you can find all the social media links to connect with me on social media. You can also find a link to my book The Happiness recipe and you can learn about the work that I do.
Myrna: It’s been an incredible conversation. We talked about, happiness, the big takeaway from this conversation is our, sources of happiness. If you were to ask someone Are they happy? They’re probably going to be talking about, is my life good? Is my husband good to me? Am I making enough money? Am I living my dream life?
They’re going to think of the big things that cause, happiness.
I found that, definition of happiness, is working towards a goal or purpose. Happiness, comes from taking those steps towards it. That is what makes you happy, when you’re moving towards something. When you feel stuck, or you think you’re going backwards, is when you’re unhappy. So, it’s the same thing, finding moments to bring you joy, understand your, sources of happiness, can be as simple as clean sheets, or taking a bath, everybody can do that. Everybody can find, happiness, sitting inside a tub, you don’t have to have waterfalls!
You can find, happiness, by taking a walk. Happiness, for me is walking in a park, you can find a park with trees everywhere. Find your, source of happiness, if could be a good book, it could be clean sheets, it could be taking a bath, whatever is your, source of happiness, start there and then you pick a goal or a purpose and you take little baby steps towards it.
Once you are moving in the right direction, you are going to be happy. So, thank you, Becky, for that simple, happiness recipe. It is a very simple recipe. Head over to Becky’s website, connect with her on social media and pick up a copy of her book.
Most of us on finding ourselves in the, lions den, would only be concerned with the lions (the problem) we would not be thinking of any other, problem, but the lions that are about to eat us. Daniel, turned his back upon his, problem, and instead looked towards the, light, that was God.
In this episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna, I share wisdom for the New Year. How to deal with any problem that is trying to take your spiritual life, knock you down or eat you up. When, Daniel, was thrown into the, lions Den, he turned his back on the problem!
Darius became the ruler over Babylon. He loved, Daniel, and wanted to make him leader over all the kingdom. Some of the king’s wise men were jealous.
The wise men knew, Daniel, prayed to God, so they tricked the king into making a new law. Anyone who prayed to God would be thrown into a, lions den.
Daniel, chose to pray to God anyway. The king’s wise men saw, Daniel, praying and told the king that, Daniel, was breaking the law. The king realized his wise men had tricked him. He tried to find a way to save, Daniel, but the king had to follow his own law.
Daniel, was thrown into the, lions den. The king stayed awake all night, fasting so that, Daniel, would be protected.
Early the next morning, the king rushed to the, lions’ den. He called to, Daniel, to see if he was still alive. Daniel, called back! He told the king that God sent an angel to shut the lions’ mouths. The lions did not hurt him.
The king was happy that, Daniel, was safe. He punished those wise men who tricked him, and he ended the law. He taught his kingdom about God’s power and goodness.
The story of, Daniel, is the story of every man. It is recorded that, Daniel, while locked in the, lions den, turned his back upon the hungry beasts; and turned towards the, light, coming from above while praying to God.
Daniels’s story was written to instruct you in the art of freeing yourself from your, problem, or whatever is holding you captive.
Most of us on finding ourselves in the, lions den, would only be concerned with the lions (the problem) we would not be thinking of any other, problem, but the lions that are about to eat us. Daniel, turned his back upon his, problem, and instead looked towards the, light, that was God.
The message in this, scripture, is when we are threatened with any dire disasters such as poverty, sickness, divorce, we could remove our attention from these lions and look towards the, light, of God which is our solution.
For example, if you were imprisoned, no man would need to tell you that what you should desire is freedom. Freedom or the desire to be free would be automatic.
The same would be true if you found yourself sick or in debt or in any other predicament. Lions den, represent any situation that could swallow you up.
The solution is to, turn your back on the problem, and focus your attention on the promises of God.
This is where your, faith, moves from something you read about to something you do.
What is the lion in your life right now that is trying to eat you up? We are in a pandemic a lot of us are dealing with debt and sickness.
I know that when you are in the, lions den, it is natural to focus on the lion that is trying to kill you, but you must find the strength to turn away. Look towards the, light, and speak the, scriptures, you should be standing on.
Scriptures like “I will live and not die”
“Everything works out for my good”
“I know the plans I have for you plans to prosper you”
The definition of, alchemy, is turning lead into gold. That’s the meaning that we’re told to understand, but there’s so much deeper going on behind it. Turning lead into gold means turning something Heavy and impure into something precious.
Today we are talking on the topic using, alchemy, to transform your mind.
Bio
Vi Vi Thai, is a writer, truth seeker healer and fearlessly determined to live a free lifestyle, regardless of others opinions. In her book “Living Through Alchemy,” Vi seeks to dispel the myths beyond and behind, alchemy, shining and eliminated in light of this fascinating, esoteric practice; a compilation of a lifetime of soul searching.
The book “Living Through Alchemy” blends the fields of art and science, painting a compelling picture of how, alchemy, manifests in your daily lives. Living her, life purpose, Vi helps others to find their path of freedom to live their authentic selves, because only then she feels that we can live a fulfilled life of happiness.
Today Vi is speaking to me from her camper with her dog and her, van life. We are going to be embarking on a, journey of freedom, and, spirituality. Let’s start out by telling you what exactly is, alchemy?
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With WB-Mining, Weinel combines these three aspects into an unprecedented entertainment cocktail that promises excitement and thrills for everyone involved.
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Imagine opening an app on your smartphone. It is an economic and construction simulation where the aim is to make smart decisions, expand your empire and increase your income
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Vi: I came across, alchemy, probably about seven years ago after I read the book “ The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho”. That book inspired me to embark on my, nomadic life, and, van life, because Paulo, loved to travel, and he wanted to travel the world. During that time, I was in a very dark phase of my life. I was very unhappy about my job, and everything else in my life. I was questioning the, meaning of life. I was asking myself questions like:
Why do I exist?
What’s my, life purpose? Because I was so unhappy.
Every day going to work, it felt like I was carrying a huge rock on my shoulder. I asked myself, am I supposed to live like this? Why did I go through 10 years of school, got a very high degree, got a very prestigious job in one of the best hospitals in the US and I am still depressed?
At this time, I came across this book; but I didn’t understand anything about, alchemy, at that time. So, I thought it was a really cool story about traveling. I didn’t know that there’s so much, esoteric, meanings that were embedded in this book. Not until last year when I was writing a book about my, van life. When I decided to go deeper into my, nomadic life, and, van life, I realized that it had to do with my spiritual journey and, freedom.
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I wanted to live in a van, because I didn’t want to go back to the corporate life. I wanted to have more time for myself, to learn who I am and follow my passion.
That’s the reason I changed my, lifestyle; I wanted to live simply in a very low-cost way, and mainly focus on what I love to do the most. I just followed that passion and where it led me. That was the biggest thing I learned from the book, The Alchemist. I learned from that book is just to follow your heart and so that’s how it led me here. And during that the writing process of my book, I stumble upon a show about, alchemy. Everything happened like, synchronicity.
Myrna: My last podcast was on the topic of, synchronicity, which states that there’s no coincidences in life!
Vi Vi: I started seeing, synchronicity, happen all around me. So, when I was writing the book, I came upon this show called “Mystery Teachings” presented by Teresa fuller on Gaia Network.
Myrna: I am not picking up, what is alchemy, can you give us a definition of it?
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Vi Vi: The definition of, alchemy, is turning lead into gold. That’s the meaning that we’re told to understand, but there’s so much deeper going on behind it. Turning lead into gold means turning something heavy and impure into something precious.
However, the goals of, alchemy, went far beyond simply creating some golden nuggets.
The history of alchemy, was rooted in a complex spiritual worldview in which everything around us contains a sort of universal spirit, and metals were believed not only to be alive, but also to grow inside the Earth. When a base, or common, metal such as lead was found, it was thought to simply be a spiritually and physically immature form of higher metals such as gold. To the, alchemists, metals were not the unique substances that populate the Periodic Table, but instead the same thing in different stages of development or refinement on their way to spiritual perfection.
Myrna: That’s beautiful It’s almost like turning coals into diamonds, same kind of thing.
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In order to understand, what is alchemy, you need to understand the, stages of alchemy, and how It transmuted. So, alchemy, refers to the stages of transmutation. It’s sort of spacious and through that process you transform into a different form. Similar to how the caterpillar transforms into the butterfly. Just like the caterpillar it has to go through the stages.
The 7 stages of Alchemy
Calcination – This stage refers to the breaking of our attachments to the worldly.
Dissolution – The chemical process of dissolution is to take the ashes from calcination and dissolve it in water.
Separation – In this stage the, alchemist, separates and filters the products of dissolution.
Conjunction – Here the, alchemist, is at peace with both the perceived “darker” aspects of the self, and the mask that they need to wear when interacting with the world.
Fermentation – Fermentation is essentially, all about testing this newly integrated self. We test ourselves through trials and tribulations, through the natural swings that life provides us.
Distillation – To prepare for the final stage, we need to purify the spirit to make sure that it is free from any destructive forms of ego
Coagulation – Here, there is the meeting between matter and spirit, inner and outer, good and evil, the union of dualities. It is at this stage of, spiritual alchemy, where the spirit has become self aware – it perceives itself, and it sees and understands that the inner world and the outer world are not different, but reflections of each other.
The, stages of alchemy, also connect us to the, energy portals, in the body the, chakras. All your, chakras, also connect you to the, seven laws of the universe, and once you go through the process and stages of, alchemy, you perceive the world without dualities and embrace consciousness.
Once you travel through an the, stages of alchemy, you open up your third eye chakra, and remove the blockage of the Pineal Gland.
Myrna: Everything you’re saying I understand. I do energy work with my, chakras, and I am reading Deepak Chopra’s book right now “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.”
Vi Vi: It’s a very natural process. It happens to everyone because The Universe wants you to transmute; change is the only constant. So in, alchemy, everything has to transmute. The universe wants to protect itself and that’s why we all have to go through the process of transmutation.
The beauty of, alchemy, is that once you understand all of these stages, then you’ll be able to have a different perspective about your life. When you have a different perspective, then you have different thoughts. You look at things differently.
Once you have different views, you have different actions so you do things differently. So with, alchemy, we are creating a different reality. Through this process of letting go and purifying, you start to, transform your mind, as well.
When you go through this process of purifying, you travel through the, seven chakras, and the, Kundalini energy, is activated. When you open up all your, chakras, the energy is lighter. So, once it is opened up, it gives the light the passage for the, Kundalini energy, to rise through the, chakras.
As the Kundalini energy rises to the, sixth chakra, your third eye, this allows you to see with intention and access to the spiritual realm. We have blockages in our, third eye charka; we all have blockages is in our, chakras. So, the end result is the healing of these blockages.
Kundalini Energy
Myrna: I’m familiar with, Kundalini energy, I do, Kundalini meditation. This energy is like a snake that goes up your nervous system. I practice thinking of the, Kundalini energy, moving from my, seventh chakra, and going all the way up to my, first chakra.
Vi Vi: I teach about the, 7 stages of alchemy, and people can find my book on Amazon, it will soon be available everywhere, but for now it is only on Amazon. The title of the book is “Living Through Alchemy, a transformational journey to freedom.” And they can also go to my website www.livingthroughalchemy.com , and that’s where they learn more information about the book and I have my book trailer on there. They can also download a free copy as well of the first chapter. In the first chapter I walk people through the, meaning of alchemy, and explain the, stages of alchemy. Follow Vi Vi on Instagram at @smileyvivi05
I thought about all the things I could sell and, commercial real estate, looked like the biggest assets and I figured they must have the biggest commissions.
Martin Sawa’s story is about the American Dream. He went from selling hair brushes door to door, to becoming a success in the world of, commercial real estate, in the top market of San Francisco.
MARTIN SAWA is a first generation Ukrainian American, former San Francisco real estate power broker, and author. His remarkable rise to, self-made wealth, from the humblest beginnings. A devastating loss forced him to reevaluate the meaning of success, and how the impact of love, family, religion, and race shaped the metaphorical zoetrope of Martin’s own, American Dream.
A son of poverty-stricken Ukrainian immigrants who as a teenager sold hairbrushes door to door, Martin later quit a stable 9-to-5 job to try his hand at the high stakes world of San Francisco, commercial real estate, in the early ‘80s. As the demands of the job required more and more of him, Martin found himself in the grip of, alcoholism. It would take a tragedy to pull him out of it.
Martin’s new bookTHE OTHER SIDE OF SUCCESS: Money and Meaning in the Golden Stateis an account of the new American experience, told from the perspective of a first-generation immigrant who made the, American Dream, a reality. The book tells stories of the glamorous and cutthroat world of, commercial real estate, in the second most expensive market in the country. Readers will be inspired by Martin’s tenacity and drive as well as his resilience in the face of personal trauma and tragedy.
Book The Other Side of Success
Getting started in Commercial Real Estate
Myrna: I love your story. Can you bridge for us as we start off. I know you sold hairbrushes from door to door. What was your entry into, commercial real estate, like? How did that happen?
Martin: Well, at the time I was almost 30 years old, (I had grown up in the Midwest but moved to California) I was living in Oakland which is across the bay from, San Francisco. I had a dead end job – I was driving 40 miles one way down to San Jose and I was a city planner.
One day, I was standing at the counter processing permits and a developer came in. He was angry and waving his plans. As I looked at him, he was like a silver fox with a big gold medallion. I wondered why I was doing what I was doing because not only did I not like the job, I was dead broke and my then wife was pregnant with our daughter. So I just quit and walked away. I didn’t know right away what I was going to do, but then I remembered when I was a teenager my first sales job.
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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
When I just finished high school, I sold the hair brush products, door-to-door sales, in the west side of Chicago. I was good at it and it taught me, sales skills. I had a great mentor too who taught me the, fundamentals of sales, and I knew I could sell. The, fundamentals of sales, don’t change whether you’re selling hair brushes or high-rise office buildings as a, commercial real estate agent. It’s just a difference of degree.
Specializing in Commercial Real Estate
I thought about all the things I could sell and, commercial real estate, looked like the biggest assets and I figured they must have the biggest commissions.
Myrna: Yes, why not go for it?
Martin: I go for it and I started out. There are many specialties or work opportunities and, commercial real estate,
You can do brokerage,
leasing office space,
property management
I chose to be in investment property sales which was the riskiest because these deals took months to put together.
If they came together at all! You weren’t guaranteed a paycheck and usually had to wait a long time to see the money. It took me a year before I actually got my first commission check. So, that taught me how to make ends meet without having any money coming in.
Door to door sales is usually the first entry into sales
Myrna: Wow, there are tons of things I want to circle back to, – one my entry into sales was similar. I sold encyclopedias from, door-to-door sales, and found that I was good at it. Not because I had any, sales skills, they didn’t really teach us any, sales skills, but I learned that I had the, personality, that people would buy from me.
I went into sales later on in my career as well. As I mentioned, I’m a, Realtor, but, door-to-door sales, kind of started my, sales career. I’ve always sold that way with my, personality, not necessarily knowing that there’s a stage one, two and three, sales skills, and following it kind of format.
The second thing is about, real estate, whether it’s, commercial real estate, or, residential real estate, is that you are working and you don’t get paid until there’s a closing. So, obviously, the bigger the deal, the longer it’s going to take to put together, the longer you have to wait for a pay check.
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is a beautiful original song called FAME by James Zada.
The opening track comes from the same titled album FAME and is about the singer George Michael.
If you love 80s 90s music but with a fresh modern twist then you’ll love the music of James Zada.
You can find out more at his website at www.jameszada.com
I started trying to get into, commercial real estate, just before the pandemic hit. Everybody wanted, multifamily real estate, because they said it was recession proof. Real Estate Investors, and there were people calling me all the way from California and all around the world even as I’m in Florida. They wanted these, multi-family deals. What happened is that the sellers wanted more money that the buyers were willing to pay.
So, I was never able to get it married, get a marriage and get this big ass commission because I offered one of the buildings for $10 million, so it should have been a really nice commission but then the pandemic happened.
Now it looks like multi-families wasn’t recession-proof because now, nobody really wants to touch him because of the eviction ban. The tenants are not paying their rent and you can’t evict the tenants.
Myrna: Why did you say that, commercial real estate, is glamorous and cutthroat?
Martin: It’s the people would use you up and just throw you out, that kind of thing – like they do in the residential. Well, first of all, you have to understand my perspective or baseline. My parents grew up in Ukraine in the years before and during the Second World War, they lived under both Hitler and Stalin so it doesn’t get any worse than that.
I will say one thing and if you’ve been in the business and you understand that you can work like crazy a year on a deal and it falls apart and on another deal you can work 10 minutes, five minutes and make a huge commission and you have the mindset that that’s the way it works. If I could predict which deals I was going to close, I could have worked one month out of the year!
Myrna: You mentioned that San Francisco is the second largest, real estate, market in the USA. So, I’m assuming the top is New York?
Podbean
Martin: It always used to be Manhattan but then with the expansion of Silicon Valley, and in San Francisco, (historically was a financial services city) there are insurance companies, banks etc., but with the technology explosion, it moved up into San Francisco so now half the tenants are tech. The whole nature of the business changed in terms of who were your customers and clients, and with tech you got all these. All of a sudden, billionaires living 30-40 miles down the Peninsula, in the Los Altos, Hills of Palo Alto etc., and the prices not just in San Francisco but throughout the Bay Area just exploded.
Commercial Real Estate in San Francisco
So, San Francisco, caught up to Manhattan sometime in the last five years and just in terms of absolute property value per square foot, not only for commercial but for residential as well.
Myrna: You said that when you were doing, door-to-door sales, you had a mentor that taught you the skill sets to sell and you said it was transferable. Can you give us a bit of the skills that you learned doing, door-to-door sales, and how you’re able to transfer those skills into being successful a, commercial Real Estate agent?
Door-to-Door sales convert to Commercial real estate skills
Martin: If you sold encyclopedias, you understand it’s the most kind of basic Fundamental mono a mono that you can have. It’s you and another person, and that person in my case was typically a housewife in her personal home environment. So, it’s you the housewife. The key is – if they open the door at all you have a minute or two to develop trust to get in two minutes and you either do or you don’t.
If you’re broke and extended on credit cards and have a baby girl and two step kids, you’re going to do whatever it takes to get in that door, and that cannot be taught. The sales supervisor can kind of tell you how to do it, but you’ve got to be hungry. That’s pure desire, you take the rejection and keep going. If you get rejected at ten houses, you’re going to go to the 11th. So, once you get in, there are techniques for converting the trust into an order and making a commission. I was again fortunate because the mentor I had was very good at teaching me these, sales skills.
Alcoholism and commercial real estate
Myrna: Before we get into your book, what happened that made you become an, alcoholic, and how did tragedy and self-resilience pull you out of that?
Martin: Well, there’s just a little back story in the little town I grew up in. I had a population of 5000 people and 40 bars. Most of the male population in the town was quote, alcoholic. I was a two-fisted drinker and that was a compliment. I mean that’s just the way those times were and it’s still that way in many parts of the world, in rural areas where alcohol drives a lot of choices that people make and sometimes they’re not very good.
I started drinking beer in cornfields when I was 12 and then, I went to College and I finished at University of Wisconsin in Madison which was a huge party school and it’s just something I did. When I got into, commercial real estate, there were all the functions and cocktail parties, so I just remained a, functional alcoholic, in the business, but it became more and more of an issue when I remarried my second wife.
She became the person who was not only wife and lover, but became my spiritual mentor in moral compass and she had powers in what I call the world of the unseen. I think you probably can guess what all that involves. It got to the point that there was a major incident (I won’t give you the spoiler), you just have to read the book, but it came down to her saying “you either quit drinking or that’s it”.
Transform your Mind Stitcher
I got it and I did what I had to do then, but the really most impactful experience in my life was a few years later when she dropped dead one night. There was nothing to prepare for that experience and that’s when I really had to evaluate the big picture and business and all of that and then life and meaning.
Tragedy and alcoholism
Myrna: That is you’ve got “a you” and a great story. There are so many different nuggets and many different checkpoints in there. You said you share all this in the book so that people would be able to understand the, sales skills, understand how you were able to move through, alcoholism, and now you’re on the other side.
You learned the fundamentals like you said and then you’re able to build on that by being at the highest level of, real estate. You know, commercial real estate, and in a city that is number one or number two interchangeable in, real estate. I’m pretty sure you’ve got a lot of good stories in there.
Your book “The other side of success, money and meaning in the golden State”, my favorite question to ask authors is what do you want readers to walk away with after they close the book?
Martin: If I just wanted to work off grief, I could have kept the personal journal. First and foremost I created it as a story. I think I have a good story that even if, commercial real estate, is not something the reader has a high interest in, they will find enough else in there about life and so forth – that they’ll find rewarding.
Myrna: Your parents lived in the Hitler era, you came to America as we all come to America hoping for the, American dream.
You found that dream, but along the way you had some personal tragedy and, Alcoholism, but you were able to get over to the other side. Now, as you write the book, you’re sharing the story of personal tragedy and success with some business nuggets. Do I get that right?
Martin: Yes, exactly okay. I try not to get too technical also because this is for the general reader in terms of, there’s one chapter devoted just for, commercial real estate, and share how I put a deal together. I try not to get too much in the financial aspects and all of that.
Myrna: That’s good though, because when you’ve got, commercial real estate, in the tagline, someone will pick it up because they’re in, commercial real estate. So, it’s good that you have a chapter on putting together deals in, commercial real estate.
Conclusion
Martin: If listeners would like to buy the book, the easiest thing is just to go to my website www.martinsawa.com. You can buy it online from Amazon or the bookseller of your choice. With another click, go to my social media sites where you can see some of my other archived interviews. If you scroll to the bottom you can send me an email. I love to hear from readers.
Myrna: This was a very great interview. Like I said, I love combining self-help with a bit of business and building wealth. In the, commercial real estate, you didn’t want to talk about your commissions, but I am sure they were impressive. The deals may take one or two years to do, but in the end it’s rewarding. Do you have any last words for the readers?
Martin: Yes. Take advantage of the time while you have it because you never know when the big guy is going to call your Number.
The game of life, you have all heard of the expression “When life gives you lemons, make, lemonade.” It is a proverbial phrase that is used to encourage people to stay, optimistic, and to keep fighting in the face of, adversity, or misfortune. Lemon suggests sourness and difficulty in life; making, lemonade, with lemons that is being handed out to you turns the whole sour episode into something sweet, positive, and desirable. In, the game of life, you have to play with the cards you are dealt.
When the British colonized India they built a golf course in Calcutta, and they had a problem with the, monkeys. The, monkeys, would pick up the balls the golfers hit and put it somewhere else.
They tried to solve the problem by building a fence around the course, but of course, monkeys, climb; so that didn’t work.
Then they tried to lure the, monkeys, away with bananas; but only some were lured away, and others weren’t.
Plus, all the, monkeys, for miles around would show up to feed on their favorite food, so that didn’t work either.
Finally, they accepted defeat and changed the rules of the game. The new rules had the golfers play the ball from wherever the, monkeys, dropped it.
This is a great story to illustrate, the game of life. We always have to play the ball where life drops it. We would all love to be able to place the ball where we think it should be, but we can’t.
This is a strange story to depict the mantra “if life gives you lemons make lemonade.” We don’t always get sugar and spice and everything that is nice, most of the time things don’t work out the way we planned and that is, the game of life.
turn a negative experience into something positive
make something sweet out of something bitter
embrace life in whatever form it comes
look on the bright side of life, every cloud has a silver lining!
My favorite show is Private Practice and Addison made a statement on the show that with this saying:
“We make plans but God make other plans, he has the last word”
Your desire to have a baby could be so strong that you pray every day, you dream of your baby every day; you think of your life with your baby every day; but it’s been 5 years and you are not pregnant. The doctors say you are infertile. Time to play the ball where the monkey dropped it and either adopt a child, foster a child, look for a surrogate mother or start fertility treatments.
Another example is to practice, the law of detachment. This law states that you should only be attached to your end goal not the journey. If your goal is to retire and travel the world that is your destination. The journey could take you around that golf course several times back and forth, sometimes you would be stuck in the sand box, sometimes you will hit the ball in the lake, but if you keep playing you will eventually get to the 18th hole.
Forrest Gump said it best, life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you are going to get so, if life gives you lemons make lemonade.
Although I was devastated when I was fired from my job, I used the time to go back to college and get my degree. I now have a better job! This is an example of, the game of life, making, lemonade, out of lemons.
My grandfather lost his job due to the coronavirus, but he decided to keep busy and start his own business. He says, “if life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
Another anecdote for, the game of life, when one door shuts, another one opens; so become optimistic.
Making, lemonade, out of the lemons in life, my hope is that you look at this moment in time as a learning lesson in, the game of life, and try to find the sweetness of the moment.
Juice and strain the lemons. There a couple of tricks for getting the most juice out of your lemons (rolling them, slicing them lengthwise, roasting them), but my new favorite “juicing hack” is to actually crush the whole lemons using my stand mixer. Seriously! Here’s how you do it: Quarter the lemons and put them in the bowl of your stand mixer with the paddle attachment. Use low speed to squeeze the lemons, then strain the juice directly into a measuring cup.
Use the lemon juice to dissolve the sugar. Many modern, lemonade, recipes call for making a simple syrup — sugar and water boiled together — for sweetening summer, lemonade, but if you stir the sugar directly into the lemon juice you can skip the simple syrup and get to, lemonade, faster — no heat required.
Add cold water to taste. Since the lemon juice dissolves the sugar, we can go straight from lemon juice to cold water and ice and serve the, lemonade, straight away.
I was sitting around telling myself I’m sick all the time. I’m concentrating on the pain so I started practicing, self love. I started loving the parts of my body that didn’t hurt , like my hands. I start really paying attention to my thoughts, how I’m speaking to myself, and within three weeks the pain was gone. It is important to, love yourself.
Jenny Mannion has spent the last fifteen-years helping hundreds of clients re-awaken their energy & passion, rediscover their self-worth, and transform to the person they were meant to be. After suffering with several debilitating chronic diseases for over seven years, Jenny healed herself in three weeks using techniques she developed, which are the same techniques she uses today to help others heal.
Jenny helps her clients overcome fear, stress, lack of self-worth, anxiety, and traumatic memories or events with simple to use mindfulness & meditation practices, positive affirmations, revolutionary wellness practices, and community support of likeminded individuals.
Love yourself for healing
Jenny: I was sitting around telling myself I’m sick all the time. I’m concentrating on the pain so I started practicing, self love. I started loving the parts of my body that didn’t hurt , like my hands. I start really paying attention to my thoughts, how I’m speaking to myself, and within three weeks the pain was gone. It is important to, love yourself.
Myrna: What was your chronic illness was?
Jenny: My first diagnosis was chronic mono. Mononucleosis sometimes leads to a serious condition called chronic EBV infection. In chronic EBV infection, you have long-lasting symptoms and a viral infection that lasts longer than usual after your original mononucleosis diagnosis.
Then they found the Epstein Barr Virus in my blood, then it was fibromyalgia. Then it was a genetic blood disorder, which made me more prone to blood clots. I manifested a blood clot within three weeks of them telling of this diagnosis and ended up in the hospital for a week. And the last was Ehlers Danlos, which was the most serious because that was what that made them say I’d wind up in a wheelchair.
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Myrna: So you had four things going on with you. Wow.
Jenny: Four things and you keep going I got to keep getting diagnoses.
Myrna: And I know that, Fibromyalgia, which is the only one I recognize from that is very painful, isn’t it?
Healing Fibromyalgia with self love
Jenny: Fibromyalgia, was very painful and it was focused on my leg. It feels like you have the flu, you are just really out of it. You don’t know what you’ll be able to do that day; If you can get out of bed. There were times when I was crawling downstairs wondering if it was safe for me to drive my kids. You have got to, love yourself, to push past the discomfort and start healing my body.
It was disempowering. I joined support groups, but those were a little disempowering, too because it wasn’t about how will we cope with this illness? It became like almost a one upping, everyone sharing their sad stories, my husband left me because I’m sick. Well, you know, it wasn’t inspiring at all.
So, in really focusing on my mind, and my limiting thoughts about, self love, I fostered my Mind, Body, and Spirit connection. Deepak Chopra is so great at teaching about that. Wayne Dyer with intention, really focusing on my mind, because we’re on automatic pilots so much of the time. When I started to focus on, self love, I was appalled at the things I was saying to myself.
Myrna: So what exactly did you do?
Attention Shifting for deep healing
Jenny: I started with some forgiveness work. Then I went to the, attention shifting, really paying attention to my fingers that didn’t hurt, because my legs were in pain and a lot of my other body parts were in pain so I started focusing my energy on the body parts that were healthy. Then gratitude work and, self love. Grateful for my comfy bed. I would be in gratitude that I could read to my kids even if I couldn’t run.
Myrna: You love Deepak Chopra, one of the things I learned from him was this affirmation:
“Every day in every way, I’m getting better and better. My Biostat is set at a healthy 45 years of age. I look and feel 45 years old.” And then you go through about 10 things that you’re getting better and better at you know: So I understand you saying every day that you are getting better and better!
Jenny: Yeah, I’m saying yeah, every day I’m working on my healing every day. I’m getting a little better every day. Yeah, I mean, giving myself that credit to for the work that I am doing, you know I am watching videos, I am listening, I am focusing my attention. Just really be mindful and conscious of the way I was talking to myself and where I was putting my energy.
I mean, we know this all boils down to, energy, our thoughts and emotions, creates our, energy. So, that was one of the big lesson I took away from the secret, that one line! Every 11 months were 99.9% new so where are we putting our intention?
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Myrna: True every 11 months, you’re a new person. But yeah, so that’s actually pretty good, because if you’re seeing your healing, what you’re seeing is your body is regenerating itself. So, you concentrate on, mindfulness, you concentrate on, gratitude and you practice, self love. You concentrate on your mantras and forgiving yourself. And you said in three weeks, you were you were out of pain, right? So what do you attribute that to? Do you attribute that to to the fact that you are no longer concentrating on the pain?
Jenny: I changed my, energy. The, energy, flowing through me was creating healthier cells. When I was focusing on my legs and how my legs were in pain, wondering if I could walk today; I really wasn’t giving my body an opportunity to create those healthy cells. I was expecting pain and that is what I got.
Myrna: Yeah, one of the things that I learned from that is that when your, chakras, are blocked that’s when disease come through. So when you talk about changing the, energy, and changing the flow I understand.
Jenny: Absolutely, once I started reading about, chakras, (Caroline Myss) was a huge influence) they resonated so deeply.
Myrna: Let’s talk about how to , love yourself. You talked about, self-love, in your Bio. What are some of the, self-love affirmations, and, self-worth, practices that you teach your clients to declare and own their value?
Jenny: Well, it’s so important first of all, to have, self-love, and self-worth. Because if we are thinking we’re not worthy and we don’t love ourselves, we attract the relationships that reflect that, we attract negative situations. We’re vibrating at that energy to attract those unhealthy relationships over and over. It can be like Groundhog Day, different person, same relationship, you know, so it is really important to, love yourself, and have, self worth.
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is a beautiful original song called FAME by James Zada.
The opening track comes from the same titled album FAME and is about the singer George Michael.
If you love 80s 90s music but with a fresh modern twist then you’ll love the music of James Zada.
You can find out more at his website at www.jameszada.com
Jenny: And I do think, forgiveness, is a great one. At the, soul, level we know we should love ourselves unconditionally. Unfortunately, there’s a long distance between the, soul, and the, mind. When we’re just in our groove, that negative self talk is limited.
The limited way we see ourselves maybe from a relationship we had or from our parents or from a job. There’s so many different ways that we can get those messages and we tend to hang on to the negative messages we’ve received, a lot tighter than the positive ones. So it really is about reclaiming that, self love.
I love the morning and night, because that is when our, subconscious mind, is tuned in. I love the shower in the morning to practice, mindfulness. We are never mindful in the shower. We’re never really there. And it’s such a powerful time, we’re receiving the water element, and we are usually were left alone in the shower.
Myrna: So, what exercises can you do in the shower that you can bring in gratitude and, mindfulness?
Jenny: There are so many different things that we can do that make that our, self love meditation, time worth it. Most people do shower in the morning. I also love the idea of holding our hands over our hearts and taking some deep breaths and bringing in one of our favorite moments. We have we’re so programmed to replay the worst moments so this is a time to consciously bring in the good times.
Bring in the memory i.e of a loved one cuddling with a pet, maybe the memory of a beautiful vacation that you went on, bring in all the senses, affirm to the world that everything’s okay. Because a lot of times we are affirming that things aren’t okay.
So, really choosing to be mindful, choosing to listen to the stories you’re telling yourself. Do you do something and then say, Oh, I’m so stupid. Well, you know, correct that, catch yourself and say that you’re not stupid.
Meditation and self love is the best form of healing
Myrna: I like that. I like that. I like the shower idea too. I do, energy, work. So I meditate, I also walk in the park every morning and, when I’m going to bed I’m also you know doing, energy work. So I’m in the space, but I never actually heard anybody talk about practicing, mindfulness, in the shower. I know that a lot of people are not, conscious, in the shower, and I’m one of them. It’s just one of those things where you’re never actually there. So practicing to be mindful in the shower is profound.
Now, one of the things you talk about is how we can access our body’s inner diagnostic system for, deep healing. How we can tap into our body inner diagnostic system, so that we can heal ourselves?
Chakras and healing energy
Jenny: I consider the, chakras, our inner diagnostic system. Connecting to those different, chakras, really can heal us. I also think it’s so important to pay gratitude for our body. We have this complex system, going on all the time, we just expect them to work and usually we don’t pay attention to them until they start giving us some trouble.
Myrna: Can you explain what, chakras, are?
Jenny: The, chakras, are energetic wheels of, energy, that are in our body? We have seven major ones. We have hundreds in our body, but we have seven major ones. And they’re the colors of the rainbow, they run from the bottom of our lower back to our top of our head and each, chakra, holds a different, energy.
Give you an example the, Root Chakra, at the base of our spine. That’s really about the messages we got from our parents from when we came into this world and it makes sense that that includes like our safety. Do we feel safe on this planet walking on this planet, it affects our legs and affects our feet. So as we go as we inform ourselves about each, chakra, we really can it kind of makes sense.
Jenny: The, heart chakra, is at the heart and it is about our relationships or, self love. Are we open to receiving love for ourselves? And it makes sense that our chest and our lungs and our heart can be affected by the balance.
So really, when we know the part of us that’s not feeling well, we can go to that, chakra, and find out, what is out of balance. If you’re having like, something is hard to digest, your, solar plexus chakra role, will start acting up, which is your third, chakra. Each of the, chakras, has its own emotional and physical component and it’s so powerful to learn about them. You can download a free chart online to find out which, chakra, controls what.
Myrna: It’s really, powerful to learn because our body is always speaking to us. And those little pains aren’t to punish us. They are to tell us that something’s out of balance. And if we catch it early, we can prevent things from getting really bad. I love that you’ve talked to your body, you know we can tell our body what we would like it to do for us.
Jenny: Our, energy, goes through the pain and focusing on the pain or taking away the pain on a superficial level like popping a pill doesn’t allow, deep healing. You’re not looking at why do I have this headache? Did something stress me out today? When you really, love yourself, you investigate.
Pain represents blocked energy. A lot of women that I’ve coached have issues with their, throat chakra. So, if you have issues with your throat or your voice, ask yourself, am I speaking my truth? Does it feel safe for you to speak your truth? Are you living authentically?
Myrna: That’s pretty good. Yeah, I know about the, chakras, and I do a lot of Chakra meditation to clear my, chakras but, I never thought of them as my, inner diagnostic, system.
I just concentrated on the fact that if you have disease in your body, that means your, chakras, are blocked. Right, and you clear it, but going backwards to say, Well, yeah, you know, if you’re having problems with your legs or something or you’re having, you know, stomach issues. It could be because of something that came in the, energy, that got stuck there.
That’s best, inner diagnosis. And then obviously, once you’ve diagnosed it, then you could not only heal yourself, but you can also heal your mind.
Jenny: Right, yeah, absolutely. I mean, our mind is so with energetic healing, we know that things can disappear in an instant. But if our mind doesn’t change, we also manifest those things all over again. So it is really important to have that mind and a consciousness around it as well.
Conclusion
Myrna: Learn more about the, chakras, and Jenny’s APP Love 365 by visiting her on the web at www.jennymannion.com. There you get links to everything in her community and her courses. Sign up for the free healing sessions that I offer and yeah, and the first and if you do sign up for Love 365 you learn about the, chakras, every single day for a week, one a day and then you get a love through the, chakra healing meditation, at the end. Jenny’s handle on social media is @jennymannion
Thanks for tuning into the Transform Your Mind podcast and blog. If you have done so already, please subscribe rate and review us on iTunes.
The, bible stories, have meaning. In the story of the prophet, Elisha, and the, widow woman, this, Bible story, is teaching us that even in your, nothingness, you have something. The, widow woman, had 3 drops of oil. Oil, which represented, joy.
In this episode of, 5 mins with coach Myrna, Life coach, Myrna Young teaches on how to focus on what you do have and not your, nothingness.
Elisha, was a, prophet, who delivered the, prophetic word, from God to his people. In this, Bible story, he told this, prophetic word, to a, widow woman.
2nd Kings 4: 1-7
A certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets cried out to Elisha, saying, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant feared the Lord. And the creditor is coming to take my two sons to be his slaves.”
2 So Elisha said to her, “What shall I do for you? Tell me, what do you have in the house?” And she said, “Your maidservant has nothing in the house but a jar of oil.”
3 Then he said, “Go, borrow vessels from everywhere, from all your neighbors—empty vessels; do not gather just a few. 4 And when you have come in, you shall shut the door behind you and your sons; then pour it into all those vessels and set aside the full ones.”
5 So she went from him and shut the door behind her and her sons, who brought the vessels to her; and she poured it out. 6 Now it came to pass, when the vessels were full, that she said to her son, “Bring me another vessel.”
And he said to her, “There is not another vessel.” So the oil ceased. 7 Then she came and told the man of God. And he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debt; and you and your sons live on the rest.”
You are in a, barren state, if your marriage is unhealthy, and you can’t stand to go home.
You are in a, barren state, if you hate your job and can’t stand to go to work.
You are in a, barren state, if like the, widow woman, you have no money to pay your bills and the bank is coming to take your home.
What this, Bible story, is teaching us in this scripture is that even in your, nothingness, you have something. The, widow woman, had 3 drops of oil. Oil, represented, joy.
Shut out your senses to find your joy
The prophet, Elisha, commanded the, widow woman, “Go within and shut the door” that meant shut the door on your senses that tell you your marriage is dead; shut the door on your senses that tell you that you hate your job. Shut the door on your fear that the creditors will come and take your home.
Instead go within and find your, joy. Find your 3 drops of, oil.
What is the, oil, in your marriage? Don’t focus on your, nothingness. Is your husband a good father? Is he a good provider? Why do you stay? You stay because of the 3 drops of, oil, that you have.
What are the 3 drops of, oil, you have at your job? Your, nothingness, could be you hate your boss, but do you like helping people and providing good customer service? Is the pay helping you to feed your family?
What are your 3 drops of, oil, about having no money and not having enough to pay your bill? Your 3 drops of, oil, i.e your, joy, could be your children and the, joy, they bring you. The, bible, says
Weeping only lasts for a night but, joy, comes in the morning.
Even if you lose your home God will find you another home. Find the, joy, in your, nothingness.
What is your barren state or wilderness experience
The prophet, Elisha, commanded the, widow woman, i.e the woman in the, barren state,
“find vessels and begin to pour your 3 drops of, oil, until all the vessels are full”
When you take your attention away from the problems of life and begin to feel the, joy, of having received the things desired, you will have abundance running over. In this, bible story, the, widow, woman’s desire was to pay her debt, so that the creditors won’t take her son as slaves. She received enough money to pay her debts and have money left over.
When you feel the joy of your marriage for whatever, oil, you have, you will be generously rewarded – for the world is a magnifying mirror, magnifying whatever you hold in your heart.
I am praying for everyone within the sound of my voice that you will find your 3 drops of, oil, and that your cup runneth over.
Thanks for tuning into 5 mins with coach Myrna go find your, oil, and feel the joy.
You can’t make, miracles, in your material self, they don’t exist there. If you take the time to foster an energetic connection between your, higher self, and your consciousness you will access the way of, miracles.
My guest today is Dr Mark Mincolla, PhD Nutritional Therapist and Quantum Energy Healer and author of the book The Way of Miracles: Accessing Your Superconsciousness
Mark Mincolla PhD is a Nutritional Therapist and Quantum Energy Healer who has transformed the lives of more than 60,000 patients over the last 35 years. Dr. Mincolla has authored 7 international best-selling books, and has appeared on Dr Oz, Better TV, WFXT FOX25 Boston, KCBS in Los Angeles, along with numerous national TV & radio show, and in regional and national magazines.
His latest book The Way of Miracles: Accessing Your Super consciousnessis an adventure for the body, mind and spirit that begins with the premise that miracles don’t randomly happen—we create them! In The Way of Miracles, Dr. Mincolla shares experiences, documented research, and exercises that he provides his patients and uses himself to raise consciousness in order to cultivate the ability to heal and create miracles that have a lasting effect.
Dr. Mark, my first question here is can you share your journey to understanding the, superconscious, and, miracles? I understand from your bio that you were able to cure yourself of a life-threatening illness?
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Dr Mark: About five years ago, I made a connection with a wonderful producer from New York; a great film producer who actually produced a film called “The way of Miracles”.
Christina and I became very committed to the idea of trying to get together a terrific film – a game changing movie. We actually thought about a lot of the patients that I’ve worked with and some of the remarkable experiences that I’ve had with healing recoveries. I had one woman who had a brain tumor (the size of a tennis ball) and it was in her frontal lobe, they removed it surgically and grew back two months later. She decided not to go for a second brain surgery. I just can’t go through brain surgery again, impossible.
So I decided to seek out some other alternative methods of healing her brain tumor. I worked with her, putting a very strict anti-inflammatory diet, including a strong concentration of natural supplements. We did a lot of positive mental work as well – a lot of, meditative prayer, and things like that. Over the course of five months the tumor vanished.
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The good news is, now she’s been cancer free for nine years. That’s the kind of story that we’ve set out to create and produce. In the way of, miracles, we actually have a number of different end stage cancer patients, neurodegenerative, conditions like people with Parkinson’s and things like that. We had truly amazing, miracles, and turnarounds. No question about it, we just let the patients tell their stories.
We just let them essentially connect with the audience and to tell the audience what their personal experience was with, miracles.
In the middle of this process, I was bit by a lime tick and it infected me with, Neuroborreliosis, and the bacteria crippled me. I couldn’t walk. I was unable to walk for two weeks. I was unable to move. I was paralyzed for two weeks.
Neuroborreliosis, is a disorder of the central nervous system. A neurological manifestation of, Lyme disease, neuroborreliosis, is caused by a systemic infection of spirochetes of the genus Borrelia.
In the hospital they told me they weren’t sure I’d ever recover from that. They said, “we are not confident that you can beat this thing. It was a pretty nasty disease, but the real day that will live with me for the rest of my life was the 2nd of July, 2018.
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I was not able to walk at that point, so when I fell on the bathroom floor and hit my head, I couldn’t get up. I was on the bathroom floor for 14 hours, paralyzed and unable to move. I basically had to wait 14 hours for someone to come in and just discover me. During that period of time, I went through deep spiritual work, not knowing that I’d ever walk again.
In fact, while I was on that bathroom floor, I couldn’t move anything. I couldn’t move my fingers, couldn’t move my head, couldn’t move anything. I knocked over a bunch of bathroom cleaners and I was inhaling and swallowing them because I couldn’t even move my head out of the way. Couldn’t move any muscles at all. I was paralyzed from the neck down.
Long story short, 14 hours later, I was discovered and rescued. During that period of rescue, I went to the hospital for several days and went to rehab for several weeks. There was a great burning question within me that, “Would I ever be able to move again”? Nobody knew the answer to that. I had to decide would I be willing to live the rest of my life from a wheelchair?”
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I decided I was ready to live regardless of what kind of hand I was dealt. I was prepared to live paralyzed and to continue to write books. I could write books in a wheelchair and continue to do lectures. I could do lectures in a wheelchair and still continue to inspire people.
The long story short again, I went into some deep therapeutic protocols. I took a number of different, powerful herbs that I was familiar with. My diet was an absolutely perfect, anti-inflammatory diet, including a number of different nutritional supplements. I took a little silver and high concentration of herbs that were very powerful against, Lyme disease. Slowly and gradually over a period of time, I got better and now I’m basically fully functional again and back in the saddle.
Myrna: That is such a powerful story. A couple of things I want to circle back is when you fell into the bathroom floor, did the fall make you paralyzed or you fell paralyzed?
Dr Mark: I had, neurological borrelia, that causes paralysis motion. The, Lyme disease, caused that, but I think the shock of falling and hitting my head didn’t help. The film was just released two weeks ago. People can actually view the film by going to wayofmiracles.com. I was ready to present, miracle stories, from patients, I didn’t know that I was going to be telling my own, miracle story.
Myrna: Your book is “The way of Miracles: Accessing your Super Consciousness”. When you were healing yourself, I know you talked being a, nutritional therapist, and you talked about supplements. Can you tell us how the, superconscious, or accessing your, super consciousness, (which is also called your, soul,) and saying that you’re a, soul, and you want to connect to your, soul. Can you share that experience for our listeners who don’t understand that?
Dr Mark: I think for starters in my fifth book. The fifth book I wrote is entitled “Whole Health”. There’s a section that I wrote about identifying your “I”. We used the word “I” 500 times a day. It’s a spiritual identity crisis because we tend to think that the “I” is a material self. It’s a personality, it’s an ego, it’s a physical cellular tissue-based organ-based self, but we’re so much more than that. I say that we’ve become victims of an identity crisis or spiritual identity crisis.
What I ask the readers to do in the book “The way of Miracles”, is to go to the nearest mirror look and look in the mirror, look in your own eyes in the center of your eyes, don’t take your eyes off the center of your eyes for 10 straight full minutes. You’ll start to find that you’re getting in touch with the essence of your being.
Miracles come from the spirit
There’s no personality there, there’s no ego there, there’s no material nature there, but you can feel the presence of your, energy, there – your, soul, your essence, your core, your, spirit, etc. I think that the objective is to tap into and get used to feeling that beautiful essence of self pure, energy.
I think when you take the time to do that, you overcome the identity crisis that I talked about, because you become familiar with and connected to the eternal self – the eternal being within your being, within yourself that is limitless and it’s a, miracle, maker. – The whole premise of the book is that there’s two ‘selves’ – a material self and a, spiritual self.
You can’t make, miracles, in your material self, they don’t exist there. If you take the time to foster an energetic connection between your, higher self, and your core (which I say between your heart and your, soul) you will access the way of, miracles.
When you meditate, you enter into your, soul, but if you meditate with your heart, you give emotional connection to your spiritual nature. When you render emotional connection to your spiritual nature, you access, miracles.
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Emotion is highly charged (it’s electrical, it’s energy). When you take the time to combine the electrical charge of your emotional being with your, soul, that’s when you reach the limitless nature of unconditional perfection; that’s when you can actually create, miracles, make miracles, help people with, miracles, and revolutionize your life experience.
Connecting with your soul daily
Myrna: When you go and look in the mirror for 10 minutes and you feel your essence, you feel your, spirit, you feel your, non-physical entity, what do you do next?
Dr Mark: You do it routinely for one thing. You don’t just do it once, you do it daily. It’s like a, meditation, exercise. It’s like an exercise that brings you closer to your true self and gets you in touch with your true identity.
Myrna: I like the part about the, miracles. You said that we can create, miracles, when we access the, super consciousness. We’re talking here about getting in touch with our, soul, but there must be another layer in order to create the, miracles.
Dr Mark: The objective is to get out of the part of you that’s limited to step out, step beyond the part of you that is materially bound by its limitation. It’s not about, miracles, it’s about survival.
You move to occupy the core of your, limitless, self. That’s the part that I think renders are capable of creating, miracles. Miracles, exist on that plane and your potential to make them happen exists in that plane. If you want to perform, miracles, or live a life of, miracles, you got to go to where the, miracles, are (you got to go to your, soul, your, higher self, and your higher being).
Myrna: Now, let’s talk about your book. Your book is “The way of Miracles: Accessing your Super Consciousness”. What would you like readers to walk away with after reading your book?
Dr Mark: A lot of our pain and suffering comes from the fact that we’re not whole. People are always looking for wellness; vitamins, nutritional stuff (that’s exercise) but those are all good things, but you cannot be well unless you’re whole.
Miracles from wholeness
So, wellness begins with wholeness and I think the idea of identifying with your whole self and getting in touch with the fact that you’re capable of, miracles. The book is about spiritual identity crisis and it encourages people. It gives people exercises at the end of each chapter like the mirror exercise. It teaches the readers how to get in touch with their own core.
The mission of this book is to say, there are, miracles, happening every day In our world. We see a lot of them, but that’s largely because we’re tuned into the fact that those, miracles, operate in a very deep place within ourselves. If we operate from that deeper place (and not operate from our shallow zones), you’ll make more, miracles, than you can ever imagine. I think that you’d overcome the identity problem.
You need to accept and embrace the fact that you’re a powerful being. You’re a, soul, you’re an eternal, soul. You’re so much more than a personality with limitations, you’re a soul without limitation. That’s what you are and you live forever.
Conclusion
Everybody has been telling us for the longest, while we’re, limitless. That we are not limited to this body, but very few people are able to tap into that, super conscious. People can check out my work at markmincolla.com.
We are a non-physical, we’re dual personalities (where we’re non-physical as well as physical). The physical is limited, the physical is the personality. Once we tap into our, super consciousness, our, soul, our, spirit, we become a, multi-sensory, person and not a personality. Once you do all these different things, then you can access the space of, miracles.
Myrna: I will definitely start doing that mirror exercise looking into my eyes which would be looking into my, soul, for 10 Minutes.
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We are all in the, pursuit of happiness. Ask anyone what they want most out of life and they will tell you I want to be happy. But we have to choose to be happy. Our, happiness, cannot depend on external circumstances whether they be good or bad because everything is temporary.
If You lose your home or your job, that event takes your, happiness, or, wellbeing, with them. You go into depression because the winds of the storm are making the waves of your seas rough; but do you know the ocean is 2 miles deep? There could be hurricane force winds on the top of the ocean, but there is no movement on the ocean floor. It remains calm and unaffected.
That is how we can, choose to be happy, regardless of the hurricane force winds, that is creating chaos in our lives, we can choose to be in the, pursuit of happiness.
You have to, transform your mind, from, jealousy, anger, and depression because we feel badly after we express those feelings.
On the flip side:
We feel good when we give to the poor.
We feel good when we help others who are less fortunate.
We feel good when we, choose to be happy, regardless of how we feel.
Grief, is like going to a movie where you’re watching a horror movie and the next person to you is watching a comedy. It was poignant for me to understand that somebody’s life can be storming and the next door neighbor has sunshine.
My guest today is Samantha Ruth, grief expert and we are going to be talking on the topic “What does, grief, and, mental health, have in common.” I know that we’re in a time where a lot of us are experiencing, grief, – our loved ones are dying left and right. We’re in a place where we can’t really socialize, so we’ve got a lot of, grief, and, mental health, issues come in. Samantha will shed some light on how to ease some of the pain and suffering that accompanies, grief.
Samantha Ruth is a Transformational Psychologist, speaker, best-selling author, and founder of Griefhab, a 24/7 support community for anyone who has experienced a loss. Sam helps people around the world turn their pain into their power by guiding them to be their true selves.
Her mission is to change the way the world views, mental health, so people can openly speak about whatever issues they have, and get the help they not only need, but deserve without fear of judgment, labels, and repercussions.
Sam understands what it’s like to feel overwhelmed, lost, stuck, and alone. After unexpectedly losing her husband Jim, Sam felt like her life had been shattered into tiny, unrecognizable pieces. It took this experience for her to learn how to tune out the noise of everything and everybody else and focus on listening to herself. Her favorite quote:
“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass … it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”
Helping others through their grief
Myrna: Can you share your story of losing your husband and how did that tragedy help you achieve the purpose of helping others through, grief. A lot of times, I firmly believe that God gives you a test so you can have a testimony. God puts you through the storm so you can help other people and that’s obviously what your story is turned out to be. Now, can you share a little of it with us?
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Samantha: My husband was everything me. I met him when I was 24 years old and living in Michigan. We were together for a few years, but we were still young, silly and career driven. So, we went our separate ways. During that time, he moved to Colorado and we reconnected in June of 2013. We were married the following August and he passed away unexpectedly just a little over three years later. I had left my family and my career. I was just completely lost and had no idea what to do next.
Grief is like watching a horror movie while someone else is watching a comedy
Myrna: There’s a, grief, story I heard a few months back. This woman told the story that one day, ( she was a psychologist) she and her husband were going to pick up their son from the Airport. He’s wasn’t her child, it was her husband’s son and he was turning 18 the next day. They were going to go pick him up from the Airport and she decided to walk her dog before they left. While she walked her dog, her husband said he was going to jump in the river for a quick swim (that’s something he did every day).
While she was walking her dog, she suddenly heard him scream. She didn’t pay much attention to it, because she knows he was a strong swimmer. When she heard him scream again, she decided to go to investigate. She saw her husband clutching a tree in the middle of the river, apparently there was some kind of a wild current that day and her husband was trying to hang on to the tree, but the current was too strong and he was swept away.
She actually physically saw him drowned right in front of her eyes. Her whole world shattered, she was overcome with, grief. The hardest thing she had to do was telling his son that his father died in his 18th birthday, knowing that he would never be able to celebrate his birthday again.
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Until that story, I never really understood, grief. She said when you have, grief, it’s like you don’t have sun anymore, but your neighbor has sun. She said she would get up in the morning and while she had this black cloud of, grief, her neighbor would be getting up and going to get his morning paper and clueless of what’s going on at his next door neighbor!
Grief, is like going to a movie where you’re watching a horror movie and the next person to you is watching a comedy. It was poignant for me to understand that somebody’s life can be storming and the next door neighbor has sunshine.
Myrna: You said your, grief, was like your world shattered into tiny pieces? Can you expand on how you handled that?
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Samantha: I also want to add that, grief, is also invisible. We don’t have a cast over a broken arm or something that people can see. We live in this world that avoids the uncomfortable conversations. The first year after my husband died was a complete blur to me. I was in deep, depression. If you told me we went to Japan together, I would trust your memory over mine. I went through the motions, I survived.
I am a psychologist trained in, trauma, and there was pressure. I don’t know if your friend who’s also a psychologist experienced that, but there was pressure to bounce back quicker than anyone else would, because it’s what I do and I couldn’t or wouldn’t do that. I had to find my own way. There were sunny houses all over the place, but I felt like I lived in a forest. I had to figure out how to get through the maze all by myself. The world expects you to get back to work, your family, everybody’s pulling from a different direction.
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Self care is important in grief and loss
I made a conscious decision because I was in so much pain, I had to take care of myself. I went in a direction that was unfamiliar to me and to everyone else, which made more noise, but, self care, was the way through.
So, to anyone struggling with, grief, I encourage you to find the strength to listen to the voice inside your head, don’t listen to the others.
Myrna: You’re able to take the knowledge that you learned from going through that traumatic experience to help others through, grief. You founded the company called Griefhab, can you tell us about your company.
Samantha: I am on a mission to change the way the world views, grief, and, mental health, because my experience showed me how similar the two were.
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Grief and loss because of the Coronavirus pandemic
Myrna: We’re on in some unprecedented times with the, Coronavirus pandemic. How does your company help other experiencing, grief and loss, because of the, coronavirus pandemic?
Samantha: Tuning out the noise and not letting people expectations like – “Hey, you should have gotten over it by now.” What I mean, and my advice as a psychologist is, you need to have a support system and that’s important. Grief, can be isolating and you can feel different and lonely and there are people who get it. The pandemic has uprooted millions of people’s lives and you are not alone.
Talking really does help even if somebody is just listening and they’re not actually physically doing talking, it does help. Talking is the way through, grief. Please, loved ones and friends, be patient with us. It might be uncomfortable for you, but it is the only way we will heal.
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What does grief and mental illness have in common?
Myrna: What does, grief, and, mental illness, issues have in common? What are the, stages of grief, and how does it affect your, mental health?
Samantha: I do not believe that you can grieve without, anxiety, and, depression. Going through the grieving process, there are such stigmas around both. I’ve lived with the world of, mental health, stigmas when I was early in healing journey. I learned that people treat someone grieving the same way as they treat someone with a, mental illness; they don’t know how to act around them and they don’t know what to say. I felt all of these stigmas and all I had done was lose my husband.
What, grief, and, mental health, have most in common is that they can be isolating and alienating. That’s the reason I am trying to make noise and let the world know that everything we know is backwards. We have to talk about it, we have to lean on each other and the stigmas are backwards. We need each other. I am one voice and anyone that’s willing to share their personal stories by raising their hand and saying I am not okay, even just saying “I’m having a bad day”, will erase the stigma.
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People don’t know we’re grieving. It’s invisible, mental health. They can’t see, depression, or, anxiety.
Samantha: You can’t grieve without going through, anxiety, and, depression, it is one of the, stages of grief.
Myrna: They also say that there are, seven stages of grief. So, where does the, anxiety, and, depression, fit in?
Samantha: Well, I mean there’s pressure to attend A, B, C, D and E immediately after, grief and loss. I haven’t spoken to anyone who has experienced, grief and loss, that doesn’t have some sort of, anxiety, about going back to work or attending an event, even if it’s virtual.
It’s a tidal wave of, anxiety, it comes and it goes and it doesn’t end. You get through in the beginning, it’s like you’re drowning and you come up for air and you find a buoy or somebody to hold on to (that’s one of your support system). That’s how it is for a while, then eventually you can swim and float and then all of a sudden, a wave comes out of nowhere and knocks you down and it could be a month later or a year later or even a decade later.
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Is there an end to grief?
Myrna: As a psychologist, is there a way to do something to prevent the, grief, coming back like a decade later?
Samantha: It doesn’t get better, it gets different and that’s why people expect holidays, anniversaries and certain life events to be difficult days. But it could just be next Tuesday and it could be a difficult day for no reason. The good things you experience are met with sadness, because the person you want to share it with the most isn’t physically here, so, grief, is always there.
Something would knocked me to my knees in the beginning and I would be down and out and I would barely get myself back together, and then something else would come and knock me right back to my knees (it’s not like that now). If something happens, I can cope and get through it. It’s still painful, but I have learned how to navigate so that I’m not back down on my knees.
I went to the University of Michigan and I can’t perform the same way I did, my brain has been permanently altered because of the, trauma, of grief.
Myrna: That is very interesting, trauma. They call it big “T” – traumas and little “T” – traumas. Now, what you’re saying someone with, grief, should take it one day at a time. Work with the present moment, that is how everything changes. You can’t go back into the past, you can’t go into the future, all changes happen in the present moment.
Myrna: Let’s say that I have somebody that’s going through the grieving process, what are some of the things that I can do to help? This is very important because I remember what you shouldn’t say to somebody. What can we say or do for someone experiencing, grief?
How to Help with Grief
Samantha: Say “I’m here for you”. Don’t ask “what do you need”, is a very stressful question. We don’t know the answer, so just be there for us. Give someone experiencing, grief and loss, multiple choice questions, not essay – say I’m going to the store and I’m getting you stuff. Do you want bread or milk? I can answer that question.
Myrna: Yes, the same woman who lost her husband in the river said that people came to her home and helped her clean her house and cooked for her, because these are things that you have no interest in doing during the grieving process, but nobody ever really thinks about that.
Samantha: Grief, is a tough journey and something each one of us is going to experience in our lives because death is something that happens and it’s unavoidable. Not everybody lives until they’re 95, there’s going to be sudden death at 30s, 20s or whatever. Where people don’t expect it and that’s when it’s harder, but we’re all going to be touched with it.
Mental Health stigmas
Myrna: How can we help break some of the, mental health stigmas?
Samantha: I think it’s similar to, grief, I think by talking about it, we break the stigma. When I tell people I have, anxiety, a lot of people ask questions because they don’t know. Telling one person or starting one conversation helps break the stigma of, mental illness. It doesn’t have to be going on the news and telling the world, but we won’t change things if we continue to hide it and make it like it’s something bad.
Myrna: Tell us about your book, why you wrote it, what do you want the reader to walk away with at the end of reading it?
Permission Granted to Grieve
Samantha: My second book was called “Permission Granted to Grieve”. I think it’s important that the world understands that you have to grieve, you have to heal, you can’t ignore it. Everything I’m saying is the same for, grief, and, mental health.
My upcoming book is called “Ruthless”. My last name is Ruth and I lost my husband. I became ruthless, but ruthless is perceived a negative. So, redefining ruthless is my journey. I want people to see negative things as strengths and perceived weaknesses as advantages. I’m taking this negatively charged word and making it okay.
Myrna: Tell us about your company Griefhab and your 24/7 support community. How can someone get in touch with you? What is your website? Tell us how you help people at Griefhab?
Samantha: There are two elements to Griefhab; one – it’s 24/7 support community. You don’t have to wait until your next appointment to talk to somebody. You don’t have to struggle, there’s always support available and that’s a free community on Facebook. You can go there on FacebookGriefhab or it’s on my website www.samantharuth.com.
Conclusion
There’s no judgment, this is about healing your way and asking the questions that you don’t feel safe asking anywhere else. People who feel that they need more support like I did, like sending out the death certificates and dealing with the creditors and all the things like getting the light bulb changed, finding somebody to get your groceries and make things, so you don’t have to do anything.
I do all of that in addition to working with you. When I had to present a death certificate, it knocked me down. So, I want other people to know those are tasks that we can do for you, so you can just heal.
Myrna: Thanks for tuning in to the Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life radio podcast and television show. If you’ve not done so yet, please rate and review us on iTunes so that we can get this message out to a wider audience. Until next time, blessings.
