Why are you in the, wilderness? The people of Israel wandered in the, wilderness, for 40 years and never got to see the, promised land, that God had given them.
They were in the, wilderness, because time and time again they showed contempt for God, never believing his word, even after witnessing time and time again his, miraculous signs.
You are in the, wilderness, because you let fear of the unknown predict your future.
The people of Israel refused to go into the, promised land, because they were afraid the giants in the land would kill them in battle and carry off their wife’s and children. They accepted defeat without even throwing a punch.
Don’t let fear of the unknown keep you in the wilderness
Why do you need to, transform your mind? Because that is the way out of the, wilderness. Caleb and his family got to possess the, promised land, because his mind was right. He had no fear.
He said “Let’s go at once and take the land, we can certainly conquer it”
The, wilderness, is a mindset!
The wilderness mindset
The, wilderness mindset, is like the, poverty mindset, it always want to return to the familiar.
The, wilderness mindset, is accustomed to, struggle, it can’t phantom victory and abundance it always returns to, lack and struggle.
When new opportunities are presented the, wilderness mindset, will always take you back to what it perceives as safety and that is staying right where you are in the, dry barren desert.
What is a poverty mindset?
What is, Poverty Mindset? Having a, poverty mindset is a fear that you will never have enough. It holds you back by convincing you that your circumstances will never change for the better. This way of thinking manifests in two ways: Always spending what you have because you may not have more later.
Your dry, barren place, is anywhere that is not feeding your soul. It could be an abusive relationship, it could be a job you hate, it could be living in an unsafe home. But you stay because it is familiar and your basic need are being met.
But you weren’t created just to survive, you were created to live in a land flowing with milk and honey, to live with joy, peace, happiness, abundance, harmony. You were created to live in paradise.
So, if you find yourself in the, wilderness, ask yourself why are you there and do the work to find and possess your, promised land.
That’s why the detail of the, Promised Land, overflowing with milk and honey was so important: God promised His people a land where everything was in top working order. This was a land abounding in fruitful pastures and efflorescent vegetation. This was a land functioning in its proper, God-designed rhythms. The result was natural abundance.
The description “overflowing with honey” offers a glimpse into what God desires and promises us all — an invitation for us to taste and see that the Lord is good.
This is coach Myrna Young and you have been listening to 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna
Welcome to the Mindset Transformation radio show and Podcast. Today Dr. Marcia Reynolds is going to teach us “4 Techniques to, Outsmart your Brain” Relax, Detach, gain clarity and ask yourself, How do I want to feel?
But First in keeping with that theme I want to share with you one of the classic stories of how our Brain can Outsmart us.
Acres of Diamonds
There once lived not far from the River Indus an ancient Persian by the name of Al Hafed. Al Hafed owned a very large farm with orchards, grain fields and gardens. He was a contented and wealthy man—contented because he was wealthy, and wealthy because he was contented. One day there visited this old farmer one of those ancient Buddhist priests, and he sat down by Al Hafed’s fire and told that old farmer how this world of ours was made.
He said that this world was once a mere bank of fog and the Almighty thrust his finger into the bank of fog and then began slowly to move his finger around and gradually to increase the speed of his finger until at last he whirled that bank of fog into a solid ball of fire, and it went rolling through the universe, burning its way through other cosmic banks of fog, until it condensed the moisture without, and fell in floods of rain upon the heated surface and cooled the outward crust.
Then the internal flames burst through the cooling crust and threw up the mountains and made the hills and the valleys of this wonderful world of ours. If this internal melted mass burst out and cooled very quickly it became granite; that which cooled less quickly became silver; and less quickly, gold; and after gold, diamonds were made. Said the old priest, “A, diamond, is a congealed drop of sunlight.”
Finding your diamonds in your back yard
This is a scientific truth also. You all know that a diamond is pure carbon, actually deposited sunlight. The old priest told Al Hafed that if he had a handful of diamonds he could purchase a whole country, and with a mine of diamonds he could place his children upon thrones through the influence of their great wealth.
Al Hafed heard all about, diamonds, and how much they were worth, and went to his bed that night a poor man—not that he had lost anything, but poor because he was discontented and discontented because he thought he was poor. He said: “I want a mine of, diamonds!” So he lay awake all night, and early in the morning sought out the priest.
Reminds me of the story I tell my children about the dog and his shadow. If you are not familiar, a dog is walking over a bridge and sees another dog with a bone. He decides he wants that bone as well and jumps in and loses the bone he has in his mouth because what he saw was not another dog but his own shadow. It is a story of discontent and greed!
Getting back to our story. Al Hafed woke the priest out of his dreams and said to him, “Will you tell me where I can find, diamonds?” The priest said, “Diamonds? What do you want with diamonds?” “I want to be immensely rich,” said Al Hafed, “but I don’t know where to go.” “Well,” said the priest, “if you will find a river that runs over white sand between high mountains, in those sands you will always see, diamonds.”
“Do you really believe that there is such a river asked al Hafed?” The priest replied “Plenty of them, plenty of them; all you have to do is just go and find them, then you have them.” Al Hafed said, “I will go.” So he sold his farm, collected his money at interest, left his family in charge of a neighbor, and away he went in search of diamonds.
He began at the Mountains of the Moon. Afterwards he went around into Palestine, then wandered on into Europe, and at last, when his money was all spent, and he was in rags, wretchedness and poverty, he stood on the shore of that bay in Barcelona, Spain, when a tidal wave came rolling in through the Pillars of Hercules and the poor, afflicted, suffering man could not resist the awful temptation to cast himself into that incoming tide, and he sank beneath its foaming crest, never to rise in this life again.
Now, Al Hafed’s successor one day led his camel out into the garden to drink, and as that camel put its nose down into the clear water of the garden brook Al Hafed’s successor noticed a curious flash of light from the sands of the shallow stream, and reaching in he pulled out a black stone having an eye of light that reflected all the colors of the rainbow, and he took that curious pebble into the house and left it on the mantel, then went on his way and forgot all about it.
A few days after that, this same old priest who told Al Hafed how diamonds were made, came in to visit his successor, when he saw that flash of light from the mantel. He rushed up and said, “Here is a, diamond,—here is a diamond! Has Al Hafed returned?” “No, no; Al Hafed has not returned and that is not a diamond; that is nothing but a stone; we found it right out here in our garden.” “But I know a, diamond, when I see it,” the priest said; “this is a diamond!”
Then together they rushed to the garden and stirred up the white sands with their fingers and found others more beautiful, more valuable, diamonds, than the first, and thus were discovered the diamond mines of Golconda, the most magnificent diamond mines in all the history of mankind, exceeding the Kimberley in its value. The great Kohinoor diamond in England’s crown jewels and the largest crown diamond on earth in Russia’s crown jewels came from that mine.
The moral to the story is had Al Hafed remained at home and dug in his own cellar or in his own garden he would have had, acres of diamonds.
We are all, Acres of Diamonds, Each and every one of us is unique with acres of talent and gifts. If we dig we will find them. Don’t be like Al Hafed and go looking for riches elsewhere. You are all, diamonds, in the rough.
Now let me tell you a little more of our guest today.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds is fascinated by the, brain, especially how to, outsmart your brain, what sparks feelings of connection, commitment, and possibility. She is able to draw on her research to help leaders have more meaningful conversations that inspire change. She has delivered workshops in 35 countries and has presented at the Harvard Kennedy School, Cornell University, and the Edwards School of Management in Canada.
Marcia is a true pioneer in the coaching profession. She was the 5th global president of the International Coach Federation and is the training director for the Healthcare Coaching Institute at Virginia Tech. She also teaches for coaching schools in Russia and China.
Interviews and excerpts from her books, Outsmart Your Brain, Wander Woman, and her latest, The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations into Breakthroughs have appeared in many places including Fast Company, CNN.com, Psychology Today, and The Wall Street Journal and she has appeared on ABC World News.
Marcia’s doctoral degree is in organizational psychology with an emphasis on the needs of strong, smart women in today’s corporations. She also holds two master’s degrees in education and communications.
Show Notes:
• What do mean by, Outsmart your brain.
The primary purpose of the, brain, is to protect you and to keep you safe.
Anytime you say something to someone that is critical they get defensive and they get defensive without thought. To, outsmart your brain, is really about making good choices. Stopping and asking what is my, brain, perceiving here and what is really true. You have to know how to stop, breathe and make good choices.
You have to shift your emotions. Take 10 sec to remember to care, take 10 sec to realize that this person is not trying to hurt me.
You have to change your emotion to change your thought to, outsmart your brain.
Here are the 4 Techniques to change your emotions and outsmart your brain.
1. Relax your body, release the tension. Take a breath let it out
2. Clear your mind. Quickly drop your mind to the center of your body
3. Center your mind on your Chi or 2nd Chakra
4. Choose how you want to feel.
• What prompts your brain to do things that sabotage your best intentions
The brain perceives a threat to something so it protects you.
If you are afraid it sees danger and sabotages your efforts.
• Is there something we can do to stop reacting?
You have to understand your emotions triggers.
They are there to protect you.
Like respect in the workplace.
The, brain, reacts because it may think that someone is trying to take control over you
• How can we use our heart and brain to control our emotions?
Quiet your mind and ask your mind or gut. What should I do?
Take a breath and go into your heart and then you usually say something better
When your heart and your gut is open then you have access to all three of your brains
Your brain, your heart and your gut.
• Are the brains of men and women wired differently?
We are born with the same wiring but whatever is rewarded as we aged that is what we become. Women were more head and gut based and men were more head based but that is changing.
Men are becoming more heart based because they are being raised by women.
Gena Yuvette Davis, a board certified executive coach, corporate trainer and organizational development consultant. “How to Transform Behavior in the Workplace” to facilitate workplace well being
In keeping with my custom, I would like to share with you my tip of the week from coach Myrna.
Since Gena is going to talk today on How to, Transform, Behavior, in the, workplace, I want to share “How to, transform, your life by removing old conditioning.
The physical component of the mind body connection, is the brain.
The mind is the software and the physical brain is the hardware.
If your brain, the hardware, is stuck in old patterns, even with the best of intentions, the software, the mind, won’t work.
If you let your brain keep you repeating the same patterns, you become like a biological robot.
Your words thoughts and actions become totally predictable.
We are all victims of repetitive patterns.
To change the patterns that are not serving you, the solution is awareness.
Here are 5, Behaviors, that are usually automatic.
1: Snacking non – stop even when not hungry
2: Spending too much time on the couch watching TV
3: Overspending your way into debt
4: Eating too much fast foods
5: Skipping breakfast
6: Late night snacking
7: Smoking cigarettes
How can you bring awareness to these, behaviors, and interrupt your pattern?
Let’s look at.
Snacking non stop
– whenever you feel the need to grab that bag of chips, stop and ask yourself
What am I really needing?
What need is this food really filling?
The moment you take a moment to think about your action, you interrupt your pattern.
You are on your way to breaking that habit. Even if you still eat that bag of chips.
You are on to way to removing old conditioning. Awareness is the key.
Another way to remove old conditioning and, behavior, is to:
Change your state
Let’s say you are sitting on the couch and you reach for the bowl of nachos on the table or the bags of chips from our previous example.
Just as you think the thought to command your hands to reach for the bowl; Change your state!
Get up and walk to the bathroom or to the mailbox. Move your physical body into a different position.
The 3rd way you can remove old conditioning or, behavior, is to:
Create a new habit – rewire the physical component.
Let look at our example of skipping Breakfast.
Make it easy.
– buy a drinkable breakfast and grab it on the way out of the door.
– have your partner make you breakfast.
– prepare a sandwich the night before and eat on the way to work.
– set the alarm 15 mins earlier.
These are a few ways to remove old conditioning and, transform, behavior, in your personal life:
•Authentically committed to empowering and inspiring others to be their best selves, Gena specializes in working with clients from a variety of industries who are on the fast track to taking their careers to next level. She is also a change agent for organizations who wish to transform their companies into diverse, collaborative and thriving work forces. Her drive and energy is infectious as she is able to elevate her clients and help them live to their true potential.
•
• Gena’s coaching, training and consulting style is intuitive, always full of energy, and with a touch of gentle persistence! Knowing that the answers are already within, Gena’s job is simply to be the way-shower of what is already known to be true – “success attained.” She is dedicated to assisting individuals and organizations to achieve excellence in ways that support integrity and a collaborative spirit and to achieve their purpose.
In addition to executive coaching and training in the areas of emotional intelligence, leadership effectiveness, communication skills and reputation management, her work includes a variety of strategic consulting services such as strategic planning, change management, retreat planning and facilitation, employee engagement, team-building, as well as diversity and inclusion initiatives. Her focus is on developing collaborative processes and as a thinking partner to foster learning, dialogue, and innovation.
Best Practices to Transform Behavior In the Workplace
• 1) What is “Behavioral Transformation using ETT ?”
Emotional Transformation Therapy (ETT)
Emotional Transformation Therapy (ETT),
a therapeutic method incorporating the use of light, color wavelengths, and eye movements, aims to rapidly transform emotional distress and related physical pain into a positive emotional state.
Professionals trained in ETT work to help those in therapy address trauma and other pain and achieve lasting, healing change.
Emotional Transformation Therapy, developed by contemporary psychologist Dr. Stephen Vazquez in 1991, is a relatively new form of therapy. Vazquez’s studies in the fields of epigenetics, optometry, neurobiology, and quantum physics influenced various aspects of his development of ETT as he attempted to establish a therapeutic technique beneficial for the reduction of emotional and physical distress. His noninvasive, non-pharmaceutical approach combines traditional psychotherapy with the use of visual brain stimulation and colored light therapy for reportedly fast results.
ETT draws on the concepts of interpersonal therapy and visual brain stimulation therapy. This research-driven approach is used by trained practitioners to transform emotional distress without the use of drugs and medications. ETT aims to help the person in treatment move swiftly from a difficult emotional state into a more positive emotional state—from despair to empowerment, unhappiness to joy, or trepidation to courage, and so on—through the remedial use of light and color wavelengths, which can be administered through a light box designed specifically for ETT.
Many people who seek therapy do so when they experience mentally or physically unpleasant states or feel trapped by their emotions, feelings, memories, or current situation. In ETT, neural impulses are used in conjunction with specific forms of eye movement and stimulation to target these uncomfortable emotional and physical states in the corresponding areas of the brain.
Specifically, the brain is stimulated with lights and colors in order to reshape the neural impulses affecting the brain and the nervous system. The therapist observes the emotional responses of the person in therapy and helps facilitate productive regulation through verbal cues meant to induce rapid emotional and behavioral changes.
Discoveries in light therapy show particular wavelengths of light to be able to help transform a person’s emotional state when administered properly. ETT theory, which is grounded in this principle, incorporates interaction between the therapist and the person in therapy to create what proponents of ETT believe to be an effective method for the rapid restoration of a positive emotional state.
• 2) Why is behavioral transformation so difficult?
• 3) What are the different communication and behavioral styles?
• 4) What are three best practices to behavioral transformation in the workplace
• 5) What can we do to be our own advocates for change?
• 6) Can we really transform our work environment through behavioral transformation? How?
Here are 3 ways to find, happiness, after a divorce:
1. Your relationship with yourself.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you.
3. And your relationship with God.
Let’s look at each of these
As you can see, relationship is key.
We are social beings, we need connection, even it is one person.
That is why people commit suicide at Christmas, because while everyone is celebrating with family and friends they are alone.
It is also the reason that social media is so powerful, it allows connection to others.
Out of the Snares of rape
I will share a story.
This woman from Toronto sent me a friend request on Facebook. She was the friend of one of my friends. I accepted. Then she started reaching out to me about coaching and about my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” .
I found out her story.
Raped twice when she was a teenager, sent to live with her father in another country who abandoned her, got pregnant and gave her child up for adoption. She was living in a studio apartment alone. Facebook was her lifeline. You don’t know who is on the other end of that friend request!
So if you are lonely, connect!
These are a different training and a different mindset to come from a perspective of abundance instead of lack and limitation, and that’s really where my internal work has been. Each time I shift up belief, a thought, a perspective from lack and limitation to one of abundance, my life just expands and explodes.
You know what society says is this is accomplished, then you’ll feel successful and a lot of people get there, and they feel empty, they feel like that it doesn’t have much meaning in their lives or they’re not feeling satisfied or fulfilled. The truth is that as long as we’re chasing things outside of ourselves we’re always projecting our happiness or our fulfillment outside of ourselves. Fulfillment is never outside of ourselves, it’s within ourselves and it’s in the present moment. where all of our power exists.
1. Let’s look First at your relationship with yourself.
The first secret to finding happiness, You have to love yourself.
If you can’t love yourself, no one else can love you. If you can’t love yourself, you can never be happy!
You can start by finding one thing about you, that you love.
Come on, God knew what he was doing when he created you. Everyone has at least one thing that makes them stand out.
One of my daughter’s friend’s laments about the fact that she has no breasts and no curves. She can’t find a boyfriend. Why? Because she projects that and that is what the men see. Not loving herself shows up in other ways in a relationship.
Now look at some women who do not fit the cultural norm of beauty and weight. I can guaranty you that in every situation if she loves herself, she will be in a healthy relationship.
Plus, if there is something you can change about something you don’t like about yourself, do it.
If you can’t change it, find a different perspective on it and learn to love it.
2. Your relationship with those closest to you
A mother, a father, a sister, a brother, a best friend, a spouse are top on the list of level 5 intimate, relationships. A level 5, relationship, is a relationship with someone who knows your intimate secrets. Someone who you share everything with and they with you. If you have someone like this in your life. You are blessed indeed.
Now you may be wondering why I did not add children to that list. Children gives us profound happiness especially when they are young. But you can’t share secrets with your children so they don’t provide the intimacy we look for to be happy.
To be happy find a level 5 friend and cry on their shoulders!
3. Your relationship with God.
The beauty of having a relationship with God is that it alone can make you happy. If you have a relationship with God, you will love yourself, you will be happy alone because you feel God’s presence with you always, your relationships will be healthy because you will love unconditionally because that is what God teaches us to do. You will find opportunities to bless others and that will make you happy.
A relationship with God is not just going to church, it is not just knowing scripture, it is not just about tithing. The relationship I am talking about is being in direct communication with God.
Going to God with your issues and struggles and seeing him make a way out of no way. Seeing him turn the weapons formed against you into blessings. Being able to receive guidance from the Holy Spirit every day. When you walk in that space everything else in your life falls into place.
You will not only find happiness again, but you will find bliss!
This is life coach Myrna Young and today I want to teach on the topic “Loving Your Enemy”.
In the King James Version of the Bible: Jesus Christ, says “But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”
He goes further to say “do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also”
Most humans in the natural cannot live by the doctrine to, love your enemies, and neither could I, until I, transformed my mindset. You see the reason, Jesus Christ, taught us to love our, enemies, is that the power of love, transforms.
For the last 9 months I have been in a battle with my, enemy. A racist neighbor who is the Vice President on my HOA. For months I allowed her to steal my peace. I know that evil intentions against another is a, karmic debt, so I battled against this, enemy, with my, spiritual warfare prayers.
Spiritual Warfare Prayer
Father God as we enter in spiritual warfare please cover us in your armor the breastplate of righteousness, faith, and the power of your word.
Let no weapon formed formed against me penetrate our heart and that all weapons formed against me and my family be returned to the sender void.
Anoint me of God that I will be strong in the word and I will be able to stand against the enemy.
Bless my heart and my tongue with the words of warfare in Jesus name.
I decree and declare that the anointing of Elisha will be upon me. That the God of Elisha and Joshua answer me by fire, that the sun and the moon won’t recognize me in this time of warfare. That the works of the enemy would not succeed and all the darts of wickedness will be sent back to the sender in the powerful name of, Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.
Father bless me with divine strength that you gave to Jacob that I will go out prepared and that I would know your will. That my enemies will be unseated by fire. Amen
Don’t give back the Hate your enemy gives you
I gave her back the same, hate, she gave me and prayed for her demise until one day I was listening to the book “The seat of the soul” by Gary Zukav and was convicted when he said that when we respond to hate with hate we enlarge the energy and become the same as the person who hates us.
We should instead, love our enemies, because light always erases darkness. So I started meditating and sending my, enemy, light and understanding, because I knew, hate, is a learned behavior and she is operating from lack of knowledge.
Then a few weeks ago I was watching the Netflix movie “The Best of Enemies” the movie was about a white ,clansman, and a, black activist. The, clansman, was the president of the, Ku Klux Klan, and he believed that the white race was superior and that black people had no rights. The, black activist, was fighting for fair housing for blacks. Then someone burnt down the black school, (this was during the segregation age) so the fight changed to school integration. The white, clansman, and the, black activist, were opposing leaders on the integration issue.
Love Your Enemy and Send Them Light
The white, clansman, had a mentality ill son who was in an institution and because we teach our kids our, hate, the boy became unhinged when they placed a black boy to share his room. The boy would scream all day saying the black boy was a monster. The white, clansman, asked the institution to remove the black boy, but they told him if he wanted the boy removed he had to pay for a private room. The, clansman, was poor, he could not afford the $75 extra per week for a private room.
The, black activist, heard the story and felt sorry for the son of the, clansman, and used her influence to have him transferred to a private room at no cost to the, clansman. This act of kindness and love started to change the, clansman, heart against black people. Then his white friend told him that other than his wife, the black man who was his store manager is the only one he trusts in this world, because this black man served with him in Vietnam and saved his life.
That completed the, transformation. His heart changed. The power of love and light moved in, and the darkness and hate moved out.
Dr Martin Luther King Jr on Loving our Enemies
How do you go about loving your, enemies? Dr Martin Luther King Jr says, I think the first thing is this: In order to, love your enemies, you must begin by analyzing self. And I’m sure that seems strange to you, that I start out telling you this morning that you, love your enemies, by beginning with a look at self. It seems to me that that is the first and foremost way to come to an adequate discovery to the how of this situation.
Now, I’m aware of the fact that some people will not like you, not because of something you have done to them, but they just won’t like you. I’m quite aware of that.
Some people aren’t going to like You
Some people aren’t going to like the way you talk.
Most people aren’t going to like you because you can do your job better than they can do theirs.
People aren’t going to like you because other people like you, and because you’re popular, and because you’re well-liked, they aren’t going to like you.
Some aren’t going to like you because your hair is a little shorter than theirs or your hair is a little longer than theirs.
Some of them won’t like you because your skin is a little brighter than theirs; and others aren’t going to like you because your skin is a little darker than theirs.
Some are going to dislike you, not because of something that you’ve done to them, but because of various jealous reactions and other reactions that are so prevalent in human nature.
Who is Your Enemy
But after looking at these things and admitting these things, we must face the fact that an, enemy, might dislike us because of something that we’ve done in the past. Some personality attribute that we possess, something that we’ve done in the past and we’ve forgotten about it; but it was that something that aroused the, hate response, within the individual. That is why I say, begin with yourself. There might be something within you that arouses the tragic, hate response, in the other individual.
And this is what Jesus means when he said: “How is it that you can see the mote in your brother’s eye and not see the beam in your own eye?” Or to put it in Moffatt’s translation: “How is it that you see the splinter in your brother’s eye and fail to see the plank in your own eye?” And this is one of the tragedies of human nature. So we begin to love our enemies and love those persons that hate us whether in collective life or individual life by looking at ourselves.
A second thing that an individual must do in seeking to, love his enemy, is to discover the element of good in his enemy. Every time you begin to, hate, that person and think of hating that person, realize that there is some good there. Look at those good points which should over-balance the bad points.
Can we love our enemy?
So, the question is can we, love our enemies? I say we can. There is a saying that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. I say, hate, is the same way.
Joel Osteen teaches that when we stamp things negative, we allow them to steal our joy and happiness. I stamp, hate, from my, enemy, as positive, because I believe that God will turn whatever my, enemy, meant to harm me for my good. His word says
“’For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Your, unconscious mind, is carrying out behaviors that sabotage your, conscious mind, 24 hours per day. In fact studies show that our, subconscious, mind, is running our lives 95% of the time. If you don’t, reprogram your subconscious mind, you will continue to run the same, subconscious programs, like a a tape recorder. We have to erase the tape and rewrite the tape for it to play new programs. Listen to the interview to learn how to, reprogram your unconscious mind.
Listen to the full interview here:
Introduction, Unconscious mind
Whenever you are on autopilot, you are running, unconscious mind. Have you ever gotten in your car and driven to your destination and you don’t recall how you got there. That is your, unconscious mind, driving you to your destination.
Autopilot is just one of your, subconscious programs, that has to do with your beliefs.
These, subconscious programs, were downloaded to you before your 7th birthday are the programs your, unconscious mind, play until you die; unless you, reprogram your subconscious mind.
Even if you become aware of your, subconscious programs, you still continue the behaviors because the, unconscious mind, will keep playing the same, subconscious programs. Think about your vinyl record. Unless you scratch the record, it will play the same song forever!
When I was growing up my activity of choice was reading Harlequin romances. I was brainwashed into believing that love looked and acted in a certain way. For example, all the leading men in my Harlequin romance novels, were rugged, tall, dark and good looking. All the leading ladies were independent and did not want a man’s help; so the man and the woman ended up feuding and hating each other until they realized that all, this attention they are placing on each other fighting, were actually the flip side of love!
These lovers, leading men and ladies were never a good match. Chemistry and raw physical attraction lead the way. Thirty years later, I was still playing that, subconscious program, It wasn’t until I met my husband that I started looking on the inside of a man, and not what he presented on the outside that I was able to, reprogram my unconscious mind,
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Parents, this AP will teach your children responsibility and reward them in the process. To download this AP head over to Google Aps and search for Kidtasks that’s K-I-D-T-A-S-K-S.
I was listening to a sermon by, Joel Osteen, a few months back and he was telling the story of, subconscious programs, with his sister. Joel said his sister was praying and asking God for a husband and God sent her a wonderful man; but she rejected him because he had red hair. He did not fit her, subconscious programs, for a mate. It took her years to reprogram her mindset and love this man.
Did you grow up in a home where your dad worked and your mom stayed home and watched the kids? You never saw your dad because he was always working and your family just had enough? That is your model of a family and today you are probably still running this, subconscious programs,
What is your, Unconscious Mind, that needs to be rewritten?
I was a foster mom for years. I see the, unconscious mind, in foster and adopted kids all the time. Especially since most of them came into foster care system before their 7th birthday. They developed programs on, abandonment, attachment disorders, survival, most of them hoard food because their, unconscious mind, and lack and survival.
Here are 5, subconscious programs, Teenagers are running today
Make generalizations (no one loves me, I’m always going to be a failure, I’ll never get a job or pass this test)
Make choices and judgment based on past experiences.
3. Settle in life, don’t apply for jobs or get involved in extra curricular activities.
4. Reviews information and draws conclusions.
If someone breaks their heart, they learn to not trust people – to avoid being hurt again. If living in poverty, feel like will never get enough money to make it out of poverty. If get in a fight, feel they always need to protect them self
5. Accepts information literally and personally (take a lot of things said to heart, but not as constructive criticism)
A mental picture is worth a thousand words. Your, unconscious mind, will bring to pass any picture held in the mind and backed by faith.
This is the space I am spending a lot of time in, at the moment. I am working on visualizing my goals and desires and speaking, affirmations. I am having a hard time of it, because I am not a visual person. But this is the first step in controlling the, unconscious mind, Visualizing what you want. Let the, unconscious mind, find the way, you only have to give it the destination.
For example if you want to be married by the age of 30 and have 3 kids. That is the mental picture you give your, unconscious mind, The universe will find the man and arrange the kids! Just say, affirmations, every day to reprogram your, unconscious mind.
Daily Affirmations, like:
I will get married to the man of my dreams by age 30
The Universe will deliver to me the man of my dreams by the time I am 30
I will get married by age 30 and have 3 kids by age 35
Remember to give your, unconscious mind, only instructions that would elevate and heal. It is the secret to your success. Your, unconscious mind, cannot take a joke. Don’t say things like with my luck the man that shows up would be bowed legged with buck teeth! Because guess what, hold that image in your mind for any length of time and that is what you will get, a bow legged man with buck teeth. Trust me on this.
About 10 years ago I read, Deepak Chopra’s, book called “Grow Younger, Live Longer” In this book Deepak taught us to say, affirmations, every day. It went like this.
Daily Affirmations for aging younger
Every day, in every way, I am getting younger and younger,
my biological clock is set at a healthy 30 years of age,
I look and feel a healthy 30 years of age.
Every day I am renewing my mind and body by eating healthy foods,
I take nutritional supplements wisely, etc.
I don’t remember all of it. I was saying these, affirmations, around my 40th birthday. So over 20 years ago. I still remember those, affirmations, because I said them every day for several months.
This year on my 60th birthday, I posted a picture on Facebook and this girl commented. She said “It is like you stopped aging at 30 years old. You just said F**K it! I am not getting any older! I do look 20 years younger than my chronological age and that’s because I rewrote my, subconscious programs,!
How to Rewrite Your Subconscious Mind
In my, conscious mind, I was always planning out my future and all things I wanted it to entail. I told myself, you will never be broke, you’re a go getter and you will always meet your basic necessities because of that. This mindset, relays into my life because it reminds me that failure is never an option and all things are possible because I know it is.
Many times, I feel that I have programmed my, unconscious mind, for the success. I heal myself faster from injuries. For example, one time my eye was swollen, and I had a workshop coming up in 2 days. I said to my, subconscious mind, don’t sweat it, you are going to get a warm rag and sleep with it on your eye, then you will use antibiotics and by the day of your workshop it will be gone.
Sure enough, the eye was not swollen anymore and I was able to facilitate my workshop with two functional eyes. Furthermore, despite all the adversity I have experienced in my life, I was always sure that I would finish University and get my degree. I programmed my, unconscious mind, to prepare for the test.
Remember the, unconscious mind, is carrying out behaviors that sabotage the, conscious mind.
Our, subconscious programs, doesn’t stop at age 7; but continues for the rest of our lives.
Take risks to get past, subconscious programs, Your, unconscious mind, always wants to play it safe.
Ask questions like, What else is possible that I have not considered?
Say things like, how cool is it that I have all this extra money.
4. What am I going to do with all this extra cash?
5. How can I make this a reality?
6. What if I become a successful as a TV talk show host? What would that look like? See yourself in this role. This one is for me!!
Conclusion reprogram your unconscious mind
This strategy is called, auto inquisition. Thomas Edison practiced, auto inquisition. He would sit in a chair and ask his, unconscious mind, questions about an invention. You can do the same.
Give yourself permission to be successful, believe that you deserve good things to happen
Don’t allow other peoples fears to make you doubt yourself.
Surround yourself with positive reinforcement and allies.
Speak your success as present fact not a future plan. Instead of saying I am figuring out how to do that now, say I am strategist. What do I need to make that happen right now.
Start asking for what you want and keep track of all the things that have happened (gratitude journal)
Create a vision space, so you can imagine what it is you want to happen in your life.
Additional Resources Unconscious mind
“Keeping a healthy mind is important to have a balanced life. Mental health training can help you enhance self-awareness providing tips and knowledge about this topic”.
Real estate investor, Trainer Trevor Evans, teaches, how to invest in real estate with No Money. Trevor teaches, how to get funding for your deals, fix and flip, your, investment properties, and, how to flip a house.
Watch the YouTube video to learn how to Invest in Real Estate from a, Rich Dad, real estate investor.
What you will learn about Real Estate Investing in this motivational video:
1. What are some strategies to purchase property for your, real estate investing, business with little or no cash?
There are several way to do this. You can max out your credit cards, you can set up a lease to own deal, you can get seller financing.
2. What does, Hard money lenders, look for in a good deal?
They look for the ROI or return on investment
3. How do you make your deal attractive to a, Hard money lender?
Show that the resale value is at least 40% higher that the investment.
Strategies using other people’s money to fund your, real estate investments:
1. Using your credit cards to fund your deals. The more credit you have the better off you are!
2. Hard money Lenders, Hard money lenders, look at the asset and not at your credit score.
3. Borrow money from friends and family. You convert them into, Hard Money lenders, and pay them a good interest rate to start your, house flipping, business.
4. Borrow from your Whole Life Insurance policy.
2. Take a loan from your 401K.
3. Take out an Equity line of credit on your personal house.
The commonly used strategy in, real estate investing, is the use of a, Hard Money Lender.
You need a, Hard money lender, for your, real estate investing, business. A money lender does not look at your credit, what does he look for?
1. Your expertise. Most, Hard money lenders, want you to have three investments under your name. This does not include your personal residence.
2. The ARV or after repair value. The property must have equity before the deal is made.
3. How did the property come on the market. Eg is it a Foreclosure, short sale or probate.
4. What is your, exit strategy? Is your, exit strategy, to, buy and hold, or, fix and flip?
Make no mistake, hard money lenders, need borrowers to deploy their capital and get a return on investment for their capital partners. They often enjoy repeat business, real estate investing, aren’t typically one-time borrowers, so asset-based lenders like, hard money lenders, or, private money lenders, value the business relationships they develop with quality borrowers.
Real estate investing, with no money down or little or no cash is to borrow from, Hard money lenders, who charge high interest for short term loans. When, hard money lenders, provide a loan, they want to be confident that the, borrower, is able to repay the loan on time. If the, borrower, isn’t able to pay back the loan, this creates a great deal of extra work, stress and potential financial loss for the lender. A strong, borrower, with a significant down payment (or equity in the property) and cash reserves has the best chance of obtaining a, hard money loan, and succeeding with their, real estate, project.
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Looking for a, Hard Money Lender? Here is an article from Connected Investors on how to get bids on your project.
Connected Investors, the world’s largest, real estate investing, network and marketplace, today announced the launch of the first centralized real estate investment funding portal, CiX.com. The technology allows real estate investors to quickly and easily submit their deals to a network of asset-based lenders, ensuring the best terms for loans on their, investment properties.
Subscribe to the Transform you Mind podcast with Coach Myrna to get notification of all shows, Life coaching tips as well as Real Estate Investment tips and strategies.
The, subconscious mind, is a data-bank for everything, which is not in your, conscious mind,. It stores your beliefs, your previous experience, your memories, your skills. Everything that you have seen, done or thought is also there. It is also your guidance system. The, subconscious mind, can also be described as a tape recorder and it just plays back what it records unless you make the conscious effort at, subconscious mind reprogramming, and erase the tape and record new messages. That is the only way to affect permanent change, erase and re record.
Today on the, Transform your Mind, to Transform your Life Radio show and podcast, Coach Myrna Young interviews Neuro Linguistic Programming, NLP, Coach Van Henry. Van tells our audience why he became an, NLP, coach. He was on assignment as an engineer in South Africa during the Apartheid regime, when he had a conversation with a Black man who told him that he was told at a young age that he was unteachable, because he had a smaller brain than the white man.
Van of course told him that was a lie, that he himself was an educated black man with an engineering degree. He convinced this man that his brain was the same size as the White man, the Chinese man and all other races because God created us all equal! That was indeed, subconscious mind, programming.
This Black man was convinced, because he was looking at the evidence, Van Henry himself. He then changed his, subconscious mind, programming by rewriting the tape and re recording new information to believe that he could be educated and that he had as big a brain as the White man. This Black man went on to have a college degree and become a supervisor, leading a fulfilling life.
So as a Transformations Coach, I would like to do the same for you. The lie that you tell yourself can be anything. It does not have to be that you are not as smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough etc. ; you could believe that you are limited by any other belief that is holding you in bondage.
Your, subconscious mind, is an unquestioning servant that works day and night to make your behavior fits a pattern consistent with your emotionalized thoughts, hopes, and desires. Your, subconscious mind, grows either flowers or weeds in the garden of your life, whichever you plant by the mental equivalents you create.
Your, subconscious mind, has what is called a homeostatic impulse. It keeps your body temperature at 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit, just as it keeps you breathing regularly and keeps your heart beating at a certain rate. Through your autonomic nervous system, it maintains a balance among the hundreds of chemicals in your billions of cells so that your entire physical machine functions in complete harmony most of the time.
Your, subconscious mind, also practices homeostasis in your mental realm, by keeping you thinking and acting in a manner consistent with what you have done and said in the past.
Neuro Linguistic Programming, is the art of training the, subconscious mind, to achieve a goal.
The first thing you have to do to, subconscious mind reprogramming, is to Master Self. Master your self talk, master your beliefs.
Then you have to write your goals down and give them form.
Once you give them form, you have to tell someone who can hold you accountable.
This does two things. Firstly, once you speak your goals into the atmosphere you activate the, Laws of Attraction, and secondly it motivates you to not look like a failure to the person holding you accountable.
The forth thing is to access your values to be sure there is no conflict with your beliefs. This is where awareness comes in. You have to know who you are.
For you to grow, to get out of your comfort zone, you have to be willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable doing new things the first few times. If it’s worth doing well, it’s worth doing poorly until you get a feel for it, until you develop a new comfort zone at a new, higher level of competence.
Subconscious Mind Reprogramming
For those looking to expand their realm of comfort zones, I highly recommend considering the habits of successful people as they are the patterns commonly adopted by the minds of great leaders and thinkers. Unlocking the power of these behaviors will put you one step closer to being able to make the same things happen in your life.
Learning techniques for, subconscious mind reprogramming, will help you believe in yourself because your confidence will no longer be challenged by fear of the unknown. But more importantly, doing so will train your brain to be in line with your true desires, dreams, and life goals and a mission driven life.
The more in tune with your, subconscious mind, you become, the closer you will be to breaking through to success. For example, you might have an idea for a book that has been on your back burner for years. With the right level of confidence, you’ll take the next step in learning how to write a book, rather than clinging to the dream, but never acting.
Listen to this YouTube video and hear directly from, NLP, coach Van Henry on How to Program your, subconscious mind, for permanent change. Once you believe, then you can achieve!.
You become a master builder, as your coach I will give you the tools to help you build.
If you want a fantastic, relationship, with your significant other, you need some mindset shifts, from thinking like a girlfriend to thinking like his wife.
Mindset shifts or, transformation, is necessary if your belief system is not producing the results you are expecting in life. As a Life and, Transformation, Coach, I wanted to share some, mindset, transformations about relationships that may get you better results.
5 Mindset Shifts
1. What is the right reason to enter into a long term relationship?
Most of us (including me before I was enlightened) feel that we should enter into a long term commitment because we “fell” in love.
Others may enter into a long term, relationship, like marriage because they want children; they want security or even to stem loneliness. But, according to Neale Donald Walsch from the “Conversations with God” series, we should put a little more thought into choosing a long term partner than feelings.
We should enter into a long term partnership for a mutually beneficial purpose.
I was watching an very old episode of Oprah a few weeks ago and she was interviewing the Smith’s. I was so impressed with Will Smith and Jada Pinketh Smith’s philosophy on marriage and family. They had a mutually beneficial purpose for their, relationship, and it continues today. They have family meetings every week to keep the purpose of the marriage and family in front of them.
Their purpose for getting together was to enhance the lives of others and they do that by always choosing work that inspires others.
And even though we have heard many rumors of the marriage failing, it is still standing because their purpose for it is greater than the two of them.
So when two people enter in a, long term relationship, they have the, mindset, to figure out the Why? What is the mutually beneficial purpose?
Are they wanting to bring up children for a purpose?
Like Will and Jada Smith
-Are they wanting to enhance Gods kingdom?
Like Joel and Victoria Osteen
-Are they going to change the world through leadership?
Like Barack and Michelle Obama?
If the purpose is strong it will be like a house built on the rocks, it will withstand the storms
Why relationships Fail
2. Mindset Shifts, Why do relationships fail?
Statistics show that, relationships, fail because of failed expectations.
Most, relationships, start out with each party having predefined expectations about what they want out of the relationship and what they want from the other person.
Contrary to popular opinion another person cannot complete you, you must complete yourself.
The bible teaches that it is not if another person will disappoint, but when. So when you enter into a, relationship, and its survival is based on what the other person does, says, etc. You will always be disappointed.
Mindset shifts, is necessary to become the best you, to make sure you are living up to your ideal self because we can never change another person, we can only change ourselves.
For example, there is conflict over a wife’s expectation that her husband takes her out on romantic dinners once per month. She is waiting on him to make the offer and he doesn’t, instead he goes out with his friends and leaves her at home with the kids. She has several options:
Sulking, picking a fight, going out with her girlfriends – none of which heals the relationship – or she can Give That Which She Wants.
She can take him to dinner, she can cook a romantic dinner and send the kids to the babysitter. She can respond with love.
Anything you want, you first have to give.
Mindset Shift – Take care of yourself First
3. Mindset shifts: – Become self-centered.
I know this is going to shock some, because we were all brought up to believe that being selfish and self-centered is bad; but not according to the bible! The bible teaches that we must love others as we love ourselves.
Our first relationship must be with self.
We must learn to honor and cherish self and love ourselves before we can love another.
We can never truly fall in love with another, until we have truly fallen in love with ourselves.
I know women are always sacrificing self for others, they think it makes for a good relationship; but it has the opposite effect.
They get burnt out and then resentment sets in. Then they start to resent their spouse for doing nothing. They cultivated that attitude.
The old saying that you have to train people how to treat you is truth. You start off doing all the work in the home, looking after the kids, doing all the cooking, while your spouse drinks beer and watch TV, then 5 years later when you are burnt out. You shouldn’t blame your spouse!
You should be self centered and make time in the day for your self.
Get up and go to the gym, walk, pray or meditate.
Make time in the evening to reflect, learn something, relax!
Everyone around you will benefit.
4. Mindset shifts: – Being hurt and disappointed
We will all have hurt and disappointments in our lives.
In fact there is an old saying that says:
You are either going through something, coming out of something or about to go through something!
It is time for us to adopt a different response to our challenges and disappointments.
As humans we react with pain and hurt to what another is being, saying or doing.
The first thing we should do is to become conscious and aware of the feelings we are having.
Don’t run from the pain, don’t mask it with drugs or alcohol. Feel it, acknowledge it.
Try to find yourself in it.
Be honest with your feelings.
It is very important to not react with vengeance or rage, and to understand your true feelings.
Once you feel it and acknowledge it, it’s power over you diminishes and you can get to the place of this of
“This too shall pass”.
After that you can then reach for your highest self and look for the lessons.
A master knows that all experiences comes to teach and is for self-growth.
5. Mindset shifts, – Forgive or look past behaviors of your spouse or significant
As Christians we are taught to forgive, if we want to forgiveness.
To not judge before we take the plank out of our own eyes.
So it would seem that the Christian thing to do is to forgive our spouses for his/her sins.
But in the book “Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsh
The author teaches that you should always do what’s best for us. Remember we are self-centered.
Your girl friends are always going to encourage you to leave your husband because he is a cheater.
Walsch says that you should leave your spouse only if it is best action for you or your children.
You leave when the marriage no longer fulfills its purpose.
Let’s look at Hilary Clinton. I believe she married Bill Clinton with a purpose. He has always been a cheater but she saw his potential as a future President; So she proposed to him and chose to overlook his infidelity. She chose self!
Today her daughter is living a purpose driven life, She was First Lady of the Unites States of America and could become the first female President of the United States of America. You have never heard of her infidelity even though we have heard all about her husband’s.
We should all follow her lead and leave our cheating spouses to God, we should concern ourselves only with self. Being the best we can be and we will get our crown here on earth as well as our heavenly crown in the next life.
Myrna is the Host of the “Mindset Transformation radio show” on
How to Own the Sales Process from Prospect to Client. i.e How to meet a prospect and walk out with a client!
In this episode, Coach Myrna Young interviews Elizabeth Gifford Maffei. Elizabeth was a multi-million dollar sales producer as a Real Estate agent, she is now a health and spiritual advocate and business coach.
Show notes Sales Process
* What is a Challenge that entrepreneurs and business owners experience when trying to close a sale?
6 tips to close a sale quickly and effectively
Identify the decision-maker and start a conversation. …
Accurately qualify your prospects. …
Pitch your solution (not just the product)
Create a sense of urgency. …
Overcome their objections. …
Ask for the sale.
* What is the difference between making a sale and creating a loyal client?
* What is the first step in having a successful meeting with a prospect?
How to Prepare for a Sales Meeting As a Real Estate Agent
To be fully prepared for a successful customer meeting, you need to answer these questions:
Who are you meeting with?
Why are the two parties meeting?
What is the objective of the meeting?
When and where will it take place?
What is the agenda for the meeting (How)?
* How should you prepare before meeting with your prospect?
* How should a successful meeting be conducted?
Using Body Language during the Sales Process
How does the use of, body language, help, close a sale?
While it’s important to know what you should do in meetings and negotiations, knowing what you shouldn’t do is often just as important – and it begins with bad, body language.
The best sales managers know that while you may have a polished sales presentation, tasteful attire, and a product that practically sells itself, you can still miss out on, closing a sale, if your, body language, is out of sync with your words. While it’s true that first impressions make a lasting impact, cumulative, body language, is important. If you are in the habit of demonstrating any of the following, body language, in the, sales process, it could be enough to hurt your sales performance, turning a potential yes into definite no.
* What is the most important step that many business owners leave out?
* An example of a successful prospect meeting that resulted in a closed sale.
The four Stages of the Sale:
1: Qualify – Your, prospects, must have the money, the time, the need and the want to contract your services.
2: Build Rapport – People buy from people they like!
When you meet a, prospect, for the first time, it is important to find common ground. Look for similar interests or experiences and chat about them before getting into your, sales pitch.
3: Tell a story – Showcase how your product or service helped another client. It could also be a personal story of your journey to your current vocation.
4: Closing the Sale, – If you followed the first 3 stages then you don’t even need to close, just ask them to sign!
If you get to the end and you get objections, then you missed the qualify or selling the benefits.
