Surviving Divorce: The Ultimate Roadmap to Rebuilding Your Life

In this blog post, Karen McMahon, Divorce coach discuss the ins and outs of divorce, and provide you with the resources you need to rebuild your life after a divorce. Many people believe that divorce is the end of the world, but that’s not necessarily the case.

In this episode, we’re going to discuss the steps you need to take in order to rebuild your life after a divorce. We’ll cover topics like financial planning, communication strategies, and rebuilding your relationship with your children. If you’re struggling after a divorce, don’t worry! This podcast is designed to help you on your road to rebuilding your life after divorce.

Download the podcast here

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Bio

Karen McMahon is a certified relationship and divorce coach and the founder of Journey Beyond divorce. Together Karen and her team of divorce coaches encourage thousands of men and women worldwide to navigate their divorce calmly, clearly and with confidence. Karen began her journey as a coach in 2010 after coming to the realization that her tumultuous three and a half year divorce was a catalyst for a transformational journey into a new life, instead of allowing her pain to wear her down.

She turned inward with a laser-like focus and worked on healing herself, setting suitable barriers and surrendering what she could not control. Karen now shows others that the shifting world of divorce is a perfect opportunity to begin identifying and practicing new ways of thinking being and doing. Looking at relationship challenges with A New Perspective inevitably leads to deeper self-discovery, which allows individuals to boldly move forward in to the next chapter of Life.

Karen is the host of the acclaimed Journey beyond divorce podcast, the co-author of stepping out of chaos, turning pain to possibility and the co-creator of JBD’s exclusive 12-step divorce recovery program. Her other accomplishments include work as in NYS lobbyist Health Advocate, Community organizer and chairperson of an NYS non-profit organization.

Divorce is one of life ambushes

Myrna: I remember an interview that I had just a few weeks ago with retired Navy SEAL Jason Redman, who talked about, life ambushes, and one of the ambushes he talks about was divorce. Jason said that people when they have a life Ambush, they keep looking at the closed door. They don’t understand that whenever you have an end you also have a new beginning, so that’s where I’m going to start off my conversation today.

Karen said that she started this work after she went through her divorce and realized that it was a beginning of something, so Karen how do you teach your clients to turn the pain of the of divorce into a possibility?

Karen: That’s a great starting question and so the first thing I’ll say is there are those who ask for the divorce and those who find themselves blindsided when the divorce comes to them. So if you’re asking for a divorce, if you’re finally deciding that you want a divorce, you’ve been struggling in your marriage for a long time. You may have gone through counseling, but you’ve been on your own grief Journey for some time now and it’s still super messed up.

Then there is those who are blindsided, they knew the marriage had problems but every marriage has problems and so when their spouse says I want a divorce they’re like hit, they’re ambushed and it feels like they’re being run over by an 18-wheeler.

Divorce road map

So I always like to talk about the, grief Journey, because the person who’s ambushed is immediately in denial. Oh are you seeing someone? You’re just going through a midlife crisis, you’re just confused, this can’t be happening. They start bargaining, they go through this whole thing and a lot of people who have decided to divorce will think their spouse is being manipulative when in fact they’re really in this, grief Journey.

Myrna: I can understand you going into the possibilities of what can happen so diving a little deeper. What is the, roadmap for divorce, you coach your clients about the possibility of relationships, career, etc.

Karen: The roadmap for divorce, is like a roadmap to a destination with all the stops. I was just speaking to a client earlier today and this person knows they need to leave and so there’s so much to map out.

When do I tell my spouse
How do I tell my spouse
What do we say to the kids
When do we say it to the kids
If it’s a high conflict marriage do I tell them individually
Will mom or dad throw me under the bus and hurt the kids if I tell them together?

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The emotional load and emotional pain body are enormous. At Journey Beyond divorce, we support people both on the Practical Journey which is telling the spouse, telling the kids, finding an attorney, figuring out your finances, how do I negotiate, how does the court work.

Journey beyond divorce: co-parenting

That whole journey and as you’re going down that Journey, what’s coming up it’s like you’ve jumped into a murky Pond and all of your shortcomings, all of your insecurities, everything you need to heal from and refine comes bubbling up. So now you’re in an emotional tsunami after just being drop shipped into a foreign land called divorce, where you don’t know the language you don’t have a guide and you don’t know what the heck you’re doing.

It’s really a powerful opportunity for, personal transformation, and reinvention because basically it’s a hot mess.

Myrna: For sure, one of the things that you teach is how to do effective, co-parenting. So can we talk about that for a minute.

Karen: So in today’s day and age the majority of people get 50/50 custody and the reason is I think that to a large degree our dad’s a much more engaged. So when the decision is made and you might still be living under the same roof, it’s a good time to start saying let’s let’s experiment with this co-parent thing.

This is always hard for especially if it’s a stay-at-home mom or a stay-at-home parent, because you’re so used to this being all your division of labor. I want to talk about when co-parenting, and this is straight through the divorce, not only don’t you speak to your child about what’s wrong with their other parent they are 50 that other parent.

Never bash the other parent to your kids

So not only don’t you get on the phone with your girlfriend in the kitchen complaining about your soon-to-be ex while the kids are listening in the living room because they’re always listening and it does such incredible harm. I’m divorcing him because he wasn’t a good spouse or partner let’s not assume that means he’s not a good parent.

Myrna: I’m talking to you because I’ve never done the co-parenting thing and it sounds real complicated. I’m wondering does it benefit the kids?

Karen: A hundred percent. I work a lot in, high conflict divorce, and if you have a parent who has severe trauma, personality disorder, addiction, alcoholism etc. If you have a very, high conflict co-parent, the children are better spending more time with you. But children unless those people are dangerous it’s always valuable for kids to experience both parents on a regular basis.

If you have one, high conflict personality, it’s so vitally important that if you’re married to the, high conflict personality, I can guarantee you you’ve lost your temper. You’ve raged, you’ve been a people pleaser, a codependent, you don’t have boundaries, and you have to work on all of those things to become a whole and healthy person.

High conflict divorce

You can teach your children those skills so that they can navigate that, high conflict personality, you get to divorce them the children have to find the lanes that work for them. The safe places where they can really enjoy that, high conflict parent, and know that it’s not their responsibility to take care of mommy or daddy.

There’s one other piece that if I could talk about with co-parenting sometimes it was my experience a lot of people in a, high conflict divorce, sometimes the children come back from the other parent and and they’re upset, they’ve been put down, they’ve been ignored, they feel diminished, they don’t feel heard, they might not feel loved.

The worst thing that the mom can do is criticize their dad. It’s so vitally important if your child comes to you and they’re struggling with the other parent, ask a lot of questions.

What happened,
how did that make you feel,
what did you do about it,
what do you wish you could do about it,
what were you afraid to do that you wished you could do about it,
why are you afraid,
how can I help you,
how would you do it different next time,
how do we help you be able to say to Daddy or to set a boundary?

Myrna: I was talking about how love turns to hates so quickly. If a divorce happens because irreconcilable differences or something along those lines where you’ve been you’ve been living for a while and it’s not working out you decide to divorce, but a lot of times, you’re calling it, high conflict divorce, I’m assuming that you’re meaning, high conflict, infidelity or you really hate your spouse male or female.

Mommy hates Daddy, mommy is gonna jump on that opportunity to bash that man, there’s absolutely no way that we’re gonna oh you know Daddy’s not a bad person.

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What is a high conflict divorce?

Karen: Actually there are plenty of people who divorce and are angry and hate each other, that’s actually not, high conflict divorce. High conflict divorce, is when you’re divorcing someone who takes zero responsibility and I’ll say this because I think it’s important in today’s day and age everyone’s like oh you’re divorcing a narcissist.

I have a hard time with that, we’re not psychologists, we don’t know that, but what we do know is if you have someone who has very black and white thinking. Who always blames you and can’t take responsibility, who seems to have a different memory of almost everything that happened yesterday or in history. Who can’t sit down at the table and negotiate anything because they want everything or they’re always right you’re wrong.

These are personalities where a divorce isn’t is a negotiation, because negotiations require transparency and compromise. Most Garden variety divorces involve someone who hates the other one or who’s outgrown them and they’re not interested in them. But no matter how you feel about your ex please hear me it is never ever going to be valuable for you to tell your child how bad their parent is.

Taking off your armor and trusting after a divorce

Myrna: I agree with that totally. In my community women don’t even want the kids even to see the parent because they hate them so much. All right, now one of the other things we talk about is after the battle of the divorce, when the divorce is final, that women put down our weapons and take off our armor and start to trust again. How do we how do you teach women to become vulnerable again and trust again?

Karen: That is one of the most important questions and I hope that everyone listening that you can receive this. When our trust has been broken, it usually starts with us breaking our trust in ourselves, and what I mean by that is most of us will say I knew it. I saw the red flags and ignored them. I saw that characteristic in him but he was just so handsome and sexy, I ignored it.

So when you start rebuilding trust, don’t bash yourself, don’t criticize yourself don’t condemn yourself, for what you did. Be incredibly compassionate with yourself and start tuning in because our fear voices is this loud Amplified voice and our inner wisdom our intuition is this very soft whisper. When we can start tuning into the soft whisper and trusting our intuitive hit, our women’s intuition that is going to be the foundation of building trust.

Entrepreneurship and divorce

Myrna: A lot of people don’t think about going through a divorce when you’re an entrepreneur and you have a business or maybe even going a divorce in the corporate world. When you are not emotionally at your Peak everything falls around you like dominoes. So what are three ways of keeping your business running smoothly during a divorce?

Karen: So you want three okay so the first thing I’m gonna say is:

The first one is you’re going through the largest transition of your life, you’re not going to be on your A game, so adjust your expectations. If you’ve got some enormous campaign that you’ve planned for this upcoming year and you’re going to be in the courts and juggling kids and becoming a single parent you’re basically setting yourself up to fail.
The second thing is to realize what’s going on. When we’re going through divorce, life is busy and overwhelming for all of us. It’s almost like being on your computer and adding this huge database that’s going to download onto your computer you know when you download something it’s like every program slows down it gets really glitchy it just freezes that’s what’s happening in your brain.
I’ll say like hiring a coach and a therapists because the do different things. A coach helps you both logistically and emotionally, a good attorney and you might need a financial plan; but on a personal level what is your All-Star support team look like?

Conclusion

Myrna: Karen this has been amazing, you have designed a 12-step divorce recovery program which sounds really great because what you’re saying is you’ve got to recover from this divorce.

Karen: We found that over the course of years we started looking at what are all of the typical emotional challenges that people face during and after divorce. So we created the 12 Steps around that and so the first one which would be a surprise to nobody is to curb the conflict, because no matter what kind of a divorce you have there’s going to be conflict. Let’s keep the focus on you and look at your behavior and here’s how you can do things differently.

Then we have another step that’s about calming the chaos. Most chaos during divorce doesn’t happen outside of you it happens between your ears, it’s your stinking thinking. So what are your assumptions, what are your interpretations, what are your limiting beliefs? We talk in the 12 Steps about becoming less problem focused and more solution focused. We talk about how to grieve and grieve well and the importance of feeling your feelings and so many more.

Each step is really helping someone pivot in one an area of their emotional experience of divorce.

Myrna: How can our listeners and those watching on TV get in contact with you? Talk about your website how they can get all the course?

Karen: We are Journey Beyond divorce on all platforms. It’s Journey Beyond divorce podcast, Journey_Beyond divorce on Instagram and if the high conflict part of the conversation resonates with you we just created a toxic quiz and it’s on the home page. It’s 10 questions and it gives you a really good sense of the health or lack thereof of your current relationship.

Additional Resources

How to be Confident after a Divorce

March 27, 2023April 24, 2023

Understanding Mental Illness: My Bipolar Life

If you have been diagnosed with, mental illness, or, Bipolar disorder, it means that you probably think of ending your life all the time. In this episode, I interview Gabe Howard, who was diagnosed with, Bipolar disorder, at age 25.

Before then Gabe said that he did not know he was sick. His parents thought he was just acting out and would punish him for his behavior. But he remembers thinking of suicide all his life, until he got treatment. No one knew he was, Bipolar.

Today GABE HOWARD is an award-winning speaker, author, and podcast host who lives with bipolar disorder. He hosts the weekly Psych Central Podcast and is the co-host of the Not Crazy podcast. He’s the author of Mental Illness is an Asshole – and Other Observations and has appeared on numerous websites, podcasts, and in many traditional media outlets

Introduction to My Bipolar Life

I was diagnosed with, Bipolar disorder, when I was when I was 25 years old. I didn’t know that I was sick. I had all of these, mental health, symptoms. They were causing me a lot of personal problems. I had a drug and alcohol problem, hyper sexuality was an issue, my relationships were just being destroyed, all because of, mental illness, but I didn’t know anything was wrong.

Then one day I ended up in a psychiatric hospital, because I was ready to end my own life. I thought about suicide as far back as I can remember.

I just thought it was normal to want to die.

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What is, Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is a mental illness marked by extreme changes in mood from high to low, and from low to high. Highs are periods of mania, while lows are periods of depression. The changes in mood may even become mixed, so you might feel elated and depressed at the same time.

The problem Gabe says is that when you are in the middle is when you get the job, the girl, the promotion, get married. You usually loose these things when you are depressed or manic; being in the middle is where you want to be.

I became an advocate because I consider myself to be a smart person and I don’t have like some story about how my parents were awful. My parents are good people, they loved me very much. My dad was a truck driver my mom a stay-at-home mom and they did all the things right.

They were engaged, they loved me, they were present and none of us knew that I was, Bipolar, None of us got me any help. I thought wow if I didn’t know, if my family didn’t know, if all of that love and engagement and connection and caring and they just missed it. There must be other people that are in my shoes. That’s why I became a, mental health advocate.

I just wanted to talk about, Bipolar, openly so that there just wouldn’t be other people wandering around sick and scared and symptomatic. They could get help, because I was really lucky.

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What is Mental Illness?

Mental Illness is an Asshole!

In his book Mental Illness is an Asshole – and Other Observations

Mental Illness is an Asshole is Gabe Howard’s first collection of articles about living with mental illness.

All the articles date from 2014 through 2018 and include his observations on reaching recovery, stigma, and living well in spite of depression, bipolar, and anxiety. Totaling over 380 pages, Gabe even shares the story of his :): logo for the first time.

For years, Gabe Howard’s entertaining articles and essays have been educating people about living with mental illness. His observations cover everything from practical advice to family relationships to the fears that people with mental illness experience.

In essays such as “Anxiety Says Everyone Hates Me,” “I Have Bipolar and I’m a Hypocrite,” and, yes, “Mental Illness Is an Asshole,” Gabe makes mental illness less scary and more understandable.

I had a suicide plan and I just happen to run into somebody that understood that understood mental illness and it she looked at me and asked me “are you planning on killing yourself?” Her training allowed her to ask that question and I said yes! She he me committed to the psychiatric hospital.

I was diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, and of course once I was diagnosed with, bipolar, to go on and lead good life. This is why I always say that I was lucky.

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What is, Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar disorder, is commonly described as extreme highs to extreme lows. From suicidal depression all the way to God like mania. As a, Bipolar, you will have to battle depression where you want to die, and feel like you want to die, you feel like you want everything to end. When you are in Mania, you feel like the whole world revolves around you.

Then there is the middle. Everything is normal. That’s when you get the job, that’s when you meet the girl, that’s when you get married, buy the house, have all the friends; all the things that you lose when you become symptomatic.

Psych Meds for, Bipolar Disorder, the Good, Bad, and the Ugly

Psychiatric medications are the religion and politics of the mental health advocacy world.

In this episode, we cover the good, the bad, and the ugly surrounding medications. Like whether or not you should take them. We tackle side effects like feeling numb and sexual dysfunction and share our personal histories with medication therapy.

If you have any form of, mental illness, that you need Meds to function. Medications are amazing, they saved my life. I want to be very clear. Without my medication I cannot live the life that I live. So many people mistakenly believe that psychiatric medications are magical that you just need to take the pill and boom everything is fine and it’s simple.

It’s much bigger than that. In addition to psychiatric medication, therapy is very important, learning coping skills is very important, and going to support groups. You have to deal with the trauma of your past and all of these things matter; but all we ever hear about is psychiatric medication and I want to change that. I want to change it to, did you take your meds and did you go to therapy and did you utilize your coping skills?

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What is the most common cause of, bipolar disorder?

Biological traits

Hormonal problems: Hormonal imbalances might trigger or cause bipolar disorder. Environmental factors: Abuse, mental stress, a “significant loss,” or some other traumatic event may contribute to or trigger bipolar disorder.

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Mental Health Advocate for, Bipolar

Gabe is a, Mental Health Advocate. He remembers when no one knew he was sick for over 20 years. He had a plan to end his life and luckly for him, someone asked him the question “Are you planning on hurting yourself” He answered yes and he was admitted to the Psychiatric ward in hospital.

That saved his life so now, he is a, mental health advocate, to help others suffering from, mental illness, or, bipolar disorder, receive treatment and services.

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Additional Resources for, Bipolar Disorder.

The book is a collection of Articles and all of the Articles have something to do with, mental illness, mental health, loving somebody with, mental illness, dating someone with, bipolar,

It’s almost a reference guide that you can carry around for people with, bipolar, or dealing with somebody who is living with, mental illness, and depression and anxiety, don’t just live with, bipolar, you can have just depression, you can have just anxiety. Even people with schizophrenia, they suffer from depression and anxiety as well.

Dealing with Anxiety Disorder after Addiction

http://blog.myhelps.us/understanding-and-managing-compulsive-behaviors/

http://blog.myhelps.us/9-steps-to-effective-advocacy/

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20356007

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324602.php

February 7, 2023April 12, 2023

How to Heal Your Brokenness

My pastor taught a sermon on, brokenness, a few months back, and he made the analogy of a, broken, vase. He said that a, broken, or cracked vase cannot hold any content, everything leaks out. We must heal our, brokenness if we are going to hold love, self-esteem, self-worth, or confidence.

Certified Life coach, Myrna Young and registered social worker, Arifah Yusaf discuss, How to Heal your Brokenness,

The LORD is near to the, broken hearted, And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

In this blog and podcast here are some of the mental health topics we will be discussing every week. We want to discuss real life issues and struggles of the, minority woman:

How to heal your brokenness
Depression and
Suicidal thoughts,
Feelings of not being good enough,
The life of the single woman,
How to supercharge your marriage,
How to leave abusive relationships,
How to develop an abundance mindset and not live in lack,
How to engage the Laws of Attraction so you can live a Life by design.

Lets start with, How to Heal your Brokenness,

you cannot hold love,
you cannot hold appreciation,
you cannot hold compliments,
you are incapable of receiving and holding anything.

So it is very important for us to find our cracks and mend them. As, minority women, most of us have experienced some, brokenness, in our lives.

Here are the top 3 reasons for, Brokenness:

Devalued and rejected by others
Abandoned by our parents
Feelings of not being good enough because we have lack.

How do we Heal, brokenness?

I know in our practice of social work and in psychology, a lot of clinical professionals, look at the research study around ACES which is our first childhood experiences.

That study basically states that childhood experiences before the age of 18, whether that be witnessing abuse or being abused themselves, living in poverty or just going through traumatic events; Those experiences impact their, brokenness, as they grow up into adulthood. It may impact how they maneuver through success or how they view themselves as failures.

These experience are also linked to risky health behaviors, chronic health conditions, low life potential and even early death.

Myrna Young, Life Coach, I agree that risky behaviors from, brokenness, usually means an absence of self-love and that can definitely lead to early death.

I am going to niche down in our conversation today to address women of color and, minority women, because that’s who we are.

As women we can be, broken, both in our childhood and by narcissistic men in our adult lives, who have rejected us or devalued us.

Our, brokenness, becomes compared with the, broken hearted. Also when we experience, brokenness, as children those experiences can leads us to get into unhealthy relationships. Healing our, brokenness, prevents us from repeating this pattern of unhealthy relationships that would leave us, broken hearted.

It takes work to heal our cracks. The first step in coaching is to identify how you became, broken, and then replace your subconscious programming with a new program similar to writing over a CD disk.

How to heal the, Broken Hearted

Acknowledge that you are, broken
Follow the pain – pay attention to where it hurts
Trust outside eyes. Have close trusted friends to tell you what they see. This can also be a, life coach, who can uncover your blind spots.
Allow love to mold you like the potter molds clay.
Pray and meditate on the fruits of the spirit, peace, joy, love

Here is a story on, How we become broken, and the process of healing.

Arifah – In my years of practice, I obviously had a lot of opportunities to engage young people who have expressed feeling, broken, based on their lived experiences or their adverse childhood experiences. As we talked about earlier in the segment, those experiences impact how they view themselves, how they show up in relationships, in their place within society or their environments.

I recall speaking with this young woman who shared witnessing domestic abuse at home. She actually found her mother’s body when she came home from school one day. She was then placed into the foster care system. At 18 years old having nowhere to go, she was placed into a shelter. I remember her telling me that she really struggled with her identity and her self-esteem. She harbored resentment towards her family because nobody had come to claim her in Foster care which magnified her, brokenness.

In her late teens she became pregnant and wanted to connect with her family; because she was starting to feel isolated and she wanted her child to know more about her family history. But she faced rejection once more. She decided that it was all up to her, to make a difference in her child’s life.

She then stared setting small goals for herself and accomplishing them. That started building her self-esteem until she recovered from her, brokenness. She became more engaged in her community and connected with other single mothers. She stopped blaming others or comparing herself to others and continued her healing process.

She decided to develop a plan with a network of positive healthy people. Eventually she stopped defining herself as, broken, because she realized that she really could make a difference in the life of her child. It was all up to her, no one else. Like the analogy of the broken vase, she couldn’t hold self-esteem, or self-worth, as a broken vessel, everything leaked out. When she became whole everything stayed in. That is, how to heal your brokenness,

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To reach out to Arifah Yusaf at Lifted by Purpose head over to her web site https://liftedbypurpose.com/

Remember to download and subscribe on your favorite podcast player, iTunes, Spotify, Soundcloud, Google Play, iHeart radio

Additional Resources:

The Weight of the Cape: Why Am I Afraid to be Broken?

https://myhelps.us/personal-development-podcast/

http://blog.myhelps.us/become-life-coach/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-lifted-by-your-purpose/

January 1, 2023April 12, 2023

How to Find your Passion Purpose and Freedom as a Mompreneur

Are you a stay at home mom? Why not become a, mompreneur? Allison Lancaster, lifestyle blogger and, mompreneur, shares how to start and grow your business along with your babies.

Today on the, Transform your Mind, to Transform your Life radio show and podcast. I interview Allison Lancaster. Allison is a mom, wife and six-figure business owner. She started her business in 2016 after giving birth to her first son, who spent 2 weeks in the NICU. She has since grown not only a lifestyle blogger; but has become a trusted online business manager for entrepreneurs who are seeking to find purpose, passion & freedom as a, mompreneur. Allison’s passion project is teaching other moms how to become work at home moms so that they can grow their business along with their babies.

Allison How did you go about deciding to be a Mompreneur?

The entire time I was pregnant with my son, I had decided to go back to work. We had a daycare picked out and everything. But I think going through the NICU experience and just becoming a new mom, that’s a huge life change. Whether you’re an NICU mom or not. I can remember one day that just sticks out in my mind, my son was about two months old, my maternity leave was dwindling down and I could just remember sitting looking at my baby and just crying. I didn’t want to leave him to go back to work.

Myrna: So you fell in love and couldn’t bear to part with your baby!

I’ve always had kind of an entrepreneurial spirit. I had my own business as a wedding planner and always had a side hustle. I have always wanted to have my own business. So when I decided to be a, mompreneur, I started just researching like a mad person on Google for ideas. I started out by buying things from Walmart on clearance and then trying to sell them on Amazon, which some people make great business out of; but I just could not do it.

So I considered what I am good at. I clarified my strengths. Writing has always been a passion of mine, so I decided I’ll just start a, mompreneur, blog.

I really didn’t think that it would be any sort of a career. It was just something I used as an outlet.

How did you build your Business as a, Mompreneur?

The, NICU experience, was really kind of a traumatic birth experience; so I decided to download by writing about it and maybe helping other NICU moms.

The, NICU experience, is a different kind of experience from a regular birth. I mean you don’t get to hold your baby for days, possibly weeks and you’re separated from him or her and you have to watch them being fed by tubes. It is both a traumatic and terrifying experience.

Other, NICU moms, started sharing their experience and it was powerful.. My blog was very quickly picked up and syndicated by a large parenting website.

I joined some blogging groups on Facebook and I found this amazing community of bloggers who were very receptive and helpful.

Then I started promoting my blog on Pinterest, just kind of pinning it just to see what would happen. My content very quickly gained traction had I had some viral pins.

Then friends started to reach out to me and there they were like, hey you’re doing really well on Pinterest. You’re being syndicated in all of these places. What are you doing and how can you help us?

So that’s really kind of where the online business management side of my business was born.

How did you Grow your, Mompreneur, Business along with your Babies?

I took on one client and then they referred me and here we are some 50 or more clients later.

Myrna: Wow yeah I have a blog ( this one!) and my blog did not take off! I have never been syndicated and I have yet to figure out what Pinterest does! So you’re doing great. Why do you thing you were so successful so quickly?

It has come full circle. Initially I would have said it was the marketing pieces of it and the website building and things like that. But late last year I noticed a shift. People wanted to hear about the nuts and bolts of running a business and that is what I blogged about.

Today I kind of talk about everything, I call it a lifestyle blog. I share a lot of my grandmother’s recipes. I’m a southern girl and we like our food. I share a lot of parenting kind of tips and advice too. I have 2 kids now. A 3 year old and a 9 month old. As they’re growing, things that I’m learning and discovering, I share.

How to Find your Passion, Purpose and Freedom as a, Mompreneur

Mompreneurs, are women entrepreneurs who just happens to be moms as well. A lot of, mompreneurs, started their businesses because they wanted the freedom to stay at home with their babies, or the freedom to travel or whatever kind of freedom they are looking for.

I have started very recently a free course for, mompreneurs, who want to become virtual Assistants. Mompreneurs, who want to stay home with their babies and don’t necessarily want to sell a product or create a product. I want to teach them how they can start a business offering virtual assistant services. We all have marketable skills whether that’s accounting, bookkeeping or marketing. I kind of coach them through the process.

Most, mompreneurs, don’t even remember what their purpose was in starting their business. They just wanted to see the light at the end of the tunnel. So I do a lot of business strategizing with clients. I ask them what is your five-year plan for your business?

Why did you start your business, was it to stay at home with your babies or was it to travel?

Then I ask them. Are you seeing those things in your business right now? If not why?

I teach, mompreneurs, to find their passion and purpose by doing what they love.

I think it’s different for every person; but there’s just a lot of questions and kind of deep-diving and soul-searching that you have to do. We have to do it consistently, not just in the beginning or in the middle of your business. It’s a daily thing. Ask yourself, how does this task fit into my bigger plan and my bigger purpose?

Listen to the full interview by clicking the link below or by downloading and subscribing to your favorite podcast player.

Now on Podbean, Castbox, Deezer, Google Play, Spotify, Soundcloud, and Stitcher, iHeart Radio, TuneIn Radio,

Additional Resources:

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-quest-for-purpose-six-holistic-ways-finding-purpose/

Ask Coach Myrna: How to Start Over?

12 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Thrive As a Stay-At-Home Mom

Stay at Home Mom Help: 12 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Thrive

May 9, 2022

Breaking Barriers On The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air

Daphne Maxwell Reid, was one of the Black women to work on network television as Aunt Viv on the popular sitcom, Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Reid says that they were a family and they continue to be great friends 30 years later.

Being among the first of a few black women to work in popular television reminds me that one doesn’t choose to be a pioneer,” she says today. “One does what comes next in their journey, and sometimes you happen to be the first to do it and breakdown barriers. I just happened to land in that slot of being first for some things – but being the first doesn’t mean anything if it doesn’t seed the growth of a lot more.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10576179-breaking-barriers-on-the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air.mp3?download=true

Bio

Daphne Maxwell Reid, continues to thrive as a creative entrepreneur and artist, continuing to dazzle anyone who knows her with her bold spirit, grace, and work ethic. One of the first African-American women to make the cover of Glamour magazine and one of television history’s most beloved sitcom moms on, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Reid now balances her acting gigs with her work as a photographic artist, clothing designer, and education activist, demonstrating that it’s never too late to pursue new passions and find new opportunities.

Daphne worked in dozens of television series in the 1980s, guest starring in shows like “WKRP in Cincinnati” (where she first worked with her husband, Tim Reid, to whom she has been married since 1982), “Hill Street Blues,” and “Simon and Simon,” she first took a lead role on the acclaimed series “Frank’s Place,” opposite Tim. But it was in the role of, Vivian Banks, in the last three seasons of “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” with, Will Smith, that endeared Reid to a new generation of fans.

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Breaking barriers as Aunt Viv on Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Myrna: I know that you took on the role of, Vivian banks, in season four. Can you tell us your journey up until that point? And how did that role shape your life and allowed you to, break barriers?

Daphne: That’s Wow, it was another job. I had done a bunch of Back-to-Back series, including the one that you mentioned earlier Frank’s place, and Simon and Simon and Tim and I had worked a lot, and we were getting ready to move to Virginia. And in I think, it was 1989 that the show started being cast and my agent said, we’ve got a show for you to go read for it’s a half hour sitcom with a rap star and I said, No thank you.

So, we moved to Virginia, I saw the fall shows come on and there is the, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and it was so cute. I said, oh, well, go on living doing other things. I was doing projects with McCall pattern company and QVC so I was busy. Three years later I get a call saying we want you to come and audition for the role of aunt Vivian on the, Fresh Prince, of Bel Air. So, I went and I, myself and 200 other women showed up. We had a casting session that went on about two weeks.

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And about the third audition, I got to work with James Avery. And we clicked, I fell in love with that huggable, wonderful man. We remained friends the rest of his life. He and his wife and Tim and I used to travel together during the show when we were off and he was just a dream. I guess that chemistry sold because they hired me to go and become one of that wonderful family. We are truly a family of friends who have stayed in touch all these 30 years.

Myrna: I know it’s been 30 years because Will had he was 22 when the show started and I think he is 52 or older now.

Fresh Prince of Bel Air still popular 30 years later

Daphne: It’s been a while. It’s amazing that the show has such legs and we’re on our third generation of people who come up to me and say, you’re Aunt Viv. But you didn’t know back then, this was 30 years ago. You didn’t know what the reception of the audience was, except by the numbers that you get from the network. There was no social media and all that kind of stuff. So, we were just doing a show. We were having a lot of fun and we got good numbers.

So, they let us continue to do it. And the end of the fifth year, Will Smith, told us that we will only be doing one more season of the, Fresh Prince. He was doing movies. He’s an incredible businessman, and watching him grow from where I started with him to the man that he became, I just was very, very proud of him. So, six years we had our last episode of the, Fresh Prince, and we cried. But we all stayed in touch with each other. Yeah, so that’s beautiful.

Will Smith Slaps Chris Rock

Myrna: So, you and, Will Smith, are still friends did you talk to him after the Oscars? We have this situation the, Will Smith slap, heard around the world, I am so sorry for him. My heart goes out to him. I’ve always admired him because of the huge movie star he’s become and I watched the, Fresh Prince of Bel Air. You know when it was on and the reruns.

So, I’ve always loved, Will Smith. When I read his book, “Will” I kind of understand where he was coming from. As soon as he slapped Chris Rock. I dropped right into that space about him not wanting to be a coward. He starts off his book by talking about being a coward.

So, have you spoken to, Will Smith, since this episode about the, slap on the Oscars? I don’t think he was ever violent. So, what is your opinion of all that slap?

Daphne: I have spoken to him and I don’t share my opinion. I love the man that’s all I have to say.

Myrna: Okay. All right. Well, that’s good. All right. So at least you’ve spoken to him probably offered him some condolences and all that. That’s good. All right. I respect that. One of the things I did before our talk is I went back and I looked at a couple of episodes of the, Fresh Prince, that you were in, so that I can talk to you about a few episodes. And it was really incredible that two of the top 10 episodes that you were in, talked about two things that, Will Smith, did later on in his life.

Will Smith bungee jumping at 50 years old

The first episode on the, Fresh Prince, I want to talk about was when Hillary was being proposed to her fiancé did the bungee jump and He splashed on the ground. And you had this great comeback on that by saying,

“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh”

Do you want to talk about that episode? Why didn’t that scare the bejesus out of, Will Smith, why would he do, bungee jumping, on his 50^th birthday?

Daphne: Probably because he wanted to face his fear of, bungee jumping. Watching National Geographic shows, you see that? He’s working his way through his, fears, and confronting them and getting over them and getting past them, encouraging people to do the same. So, I’m sure the bungee jump episode on the, Fresh Prince, was sadly funny. If it had happened to anybody that we knew that probably would not have been funny.

Myrna: What about your line “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away”. Do you have experience with that?

Daphne: Well, we know in life you win some, you lose some and it depends on how you handle either is where you go on your journey.

Myrna: That’s true. Okay, good. Yeah, because a lot of people, a lot of Christians say that and it’s very true. Once you up once you’re down. We can even use that analogy for, Will Smith, being the biggest movie star and now he is down. The Lord giveth on one hand and the other hand he taketh away, like Denzel Washington said, and devil comes for you when you get to the top. And sometimes you’ve got to be able to resist him.

Daphne Maxwell Reid relationship with her father

Now the second episode that I wanted to talk about, Will Smith, talked about it in his book, is that episode where his father played by Ben Vereen, where he came into his life and then he left and you had this scene where you said

“if you walk out of this kid’s life, again, don’t come back.”

Can you identify with that episode? What was your relationship with your father? Will Smith, had a love hate relationship with his father. His father abused them as a child and what we’re seeing today are the results of that abuse. What was your childhood like?

Daphne: My childhood was idyllic. Mother and father who were loving and supportive. Yeah, my daddy used to spank my behind when he thought I needed it, but I don’t call that child abuse. I call that discipline and sometimes it’s needed maybe once or twice and you get the message. But I had a wonderful father. He was he was a mentor on so many fronts, as was my mother. She is the person that I am striving to become. And I had no problems as a child. I was brought up in the projects as they call them, just low-income housing that my father was able to get into because he was in the army.

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It was a, black community. It was multiracial. It was multi ethnic, it was an exposure to all kinds of people but that’s what New York City was like back in the 50s. So, I grew up in a very multicultural, supportive environment. I am not one whose father left. This episode on, Fresh Prince, was one that made, Will Smith, vulnerable again. They address the same issue in the new show. Bel Air where his father comes back and he finds out where his father has been and, in the new Bell Air, he sends his father away.

But I think from the character’s point of view in the original episode of the, Fresh Prince, there was enough pain and we know what pain he went through when his father first left and we didn’t want to see him in that kind of pain again.

Breaking barriers with relevant storylines on the Fresh Prince

Myrna: Yeah. I mean, you told Will’s father if you walk out, never come back and he did walk out. I guess when the writers put that episode together, they were probably trying to address, a black culture where we all grew up. A lot of us grew up without that experience where you have to have a mother and father in the home. Majority of black kids grew up without a father. Again, when you’re dealing with some, important issues and trying to make it funny.

This episode was very emotional for, Will Smith. And that’s why he talks about in his book, and now you’re saying that they’re still bringing it up in the new, Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

Daphne: Yeah, because the storyline is basically the same. But in the hour format, they have the ability to dig deeper into each of the characters and see a well-rounded character, that we didn’t have time to do get a half hour show. We had five different opinions on how to confront this issue. And sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry, but as a family, we get a solution to whatever the challenge is.

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Still breaking barriers at 60 years old

Myrna: And yes, your husband played by James Avery was a rock. He was not only funny, but he acted that part very well. And I know that, Will Smith, looked on him as a father figure. So, it was beautiful that you guys we’re a real family. And I think that’s what happens when you work together for you know, five, six years.

Daphne: Not necessarily I have had other series other than the, Fresh Prince, that I’ve been on. And you might be friend one or two people in the show, but it’s never been this close a family with any.

Myrna: Hey, that’s amazing. Now let’s talk about you, transforming your career at 60. You said that you woke up on your 60th birthday and realized that you have been opening doors and, breaking barriers, for younger generations for a long time. What were some of the, barriers, your career has broken down and do you still think that you’re breaking down some, barriers?

Daphne: I think my existence is breaking down a, barrier. Many, many situations it’s nothing more than just educating people that people like me exist. They are not all categorically one way or another. That is a, barrier, to break because there’s a lot of misconception about our community. And we have strived all the years we’ve been in television to show a broader range of our community. Show the people that we grew up with as well and not just the characterizations created by the dominant culture of what they think, black people do, and how they are.

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Fresh Prince of Bel Air breaking stereotypical barriers

We had the freedom on, Fresh Prince, to sit around the table with the writers when we got the scripts and say, no, I think culturally, this is different from where we’re coming from, and they were able to listen and adapt to the cultural specificities that we presented. And it was very respectful and a great place to work. Tim Reid and I have been doing a lot of television since the 70s. And when we had the, the authority, the power to make sure that the people behind the camera reflected what we were presenting in front of the camera.

We took that opportunity to do that. And Tim is famous for creating heads of departments where there didn’t used to be any in the, black community. So, he’s got a whole legacy of changing the camera. What you never saw before, and now it’s so refreshing. I went to work on the new Bell Air for one episode and behind the camera was the most diverse, young, vibrant group of folks, I was pleased. Whatever contribution we made in the 70s and 80s and 90s to make break down, barriers, to make this more normal. I am so pleased that it is expressed at this time.

The black experience is not monolithic

Myrna: Yes, that’s amazing what you said about the, black experience, as a reflection of our true culture and not stereotypical, it’s really interesting that I came to that consciousness just a couple weeks ago. I was on XFINITY and they have a category called, black experience. So, I went on to that category. And everything on there is about woman who can’t pay her rent, and she is evicted and, and all that and I said to myself, why can’t they show a, black experience like the Kardashians. That’s what I want to see. I don’t want to see struggle. I don’t want to see the black person homeless or whatever.

But you’re right what you guys did in in the, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, is you showed a professional, black experience. Beautiful house, everybody was a professional and wealthy living in Bel Air. I noticed that Herman Ainsley played on an episode and his show The Jefferson’s also showed a different, black experience. He’s the other one who started to break those stereotypical, barriers. You got broke down barriers and opened the but the door needs to be wider. Black people, is not all about poverty and struggle.

Daphne: It needs to show all of our experiences we are not a monolithic group. No, we are as diverse as any other nationality, race, whatever. We have a lot of diversity. We have successes, we have failures. So, does everybody so they should show a wide berth? So, people can see that we are not, monolithic. And when we have control of the content, which is something we have continually strived to do. We have control, we have the ability to express those kinds of differences.

Myrna: And even the black actresses, whether they’re actors or actresses, they’re always striving for better roles too, because they always want to pigeonhole you into the, black experience, where you’re, a stereotype. Nobody wants to show a millionaire or billionaire black person in the show. And I believe that’s necessary to inspire our people.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast — Podbean

Breaking barriers in black programming

Daphne: It’s changing and a lot of the change is because there are more platforms to show work than there used to be. It used to be only three networks and that was it for if you want to see something on that little box, but now there’s so many platforms and there’s so many people who are taking the helm of producing and green lighting projects that reflect what they want to show.

I had the honor of being in the movie, Harriet, and what was so much of an honor for me. I had only one line but I couldn’t care less. I wanted it to be around a, black female director, a black female producer, a black male designer, a black fashion designer and Cynthia Erivo. I mean, it was such an honor to work in that environment, where you feel the passion from each one of them. To make this one of the best things you’ve ever seen. It was a remarkable working experience that I’ll treasure.

Myrna: That’s amazing. That’s true. And the academy rewarded them. They won several awards. All right so you have been married to Tim Reid for over 40 years, what is the recipe for a successful marriage in Hollywood? Do you still live in LA?

What’s the secret to a successful marriage in Hollywood

Daphne: No we do not live in Hollywood, Okay, in Hollywood we would have been with 40 years by regular calendars, but in Hollywood it would be like 160 years. A lot of people get their egos busted in Hollywood. If you’re not standing on your own two feet, you’re going to have a problem. But what I think our secret to a successful marriage is we’ve learned how to fight fair and we respect each other.

You have to start with a basis of respect because that fire that gets you together in the first place, doesn’t burn for 40 years. With this person who you have chosen to be with, and you cannot change anyone, so stop trying to change people. They are who they are. Deal with it. Well, that goes both ways and always bring something to the relationship.

Don’t go there just to take. Make sure that you have something to give in the relationship, so you can grow together and allow each other to grow in the way that they personally need to grow. Its hard work and takes some effort. It takes learning how to fight fair and perseverance. It also takes some love Yes.

Myrna: Of course, love have to be there else it’s not going to work. But you are correct the love transforms itself from passion just loving being together and doing life together.

Daphne: You have to want the best for each other. I mean, if you start to tear down their desires to grow, you’re really setting a bad example, because they can turn around and tear down your desire to grow and stagnation is not a good component of a marriage.

Myrna: That’s awesome. What are you up to these days? Are you still acting? I see you have 4 photobooks and a cookbook. Can you tell us about those?

Taking photos of life

Daphne: When I take photos, I do things with them. I made tote bags this this year because COVID kept me from traveling and I couldn’t take more pictures. I always do a line of coats and I still do custom coats. I stay busy because I like staying busy. And I have some talents to share and I continue to say share with them. I made masks during COVID I still make masks, I put a HEPA filter in them and they’re safe to wear but they’re also stylish. I make them for donation pieces for different art groups that I work with.

I designed fabrics that I use to make these masks, I designed fabrics for any use. I like to take these journeys of exploration and see where they leave me. And since I turned 60 many years ago, I started my photographic journey and decided that I was going to be a photographic artist. I had to learn what that meant and how to do it. And I started with gallery shows and I started making note cards and prints that you put on the wall and they just evolved into stories that I’ve talked about my travel which into books, which turned into a wonderful, wonderful way to travel.

Myrna: What do you photograph? Is it scenery or people?

Daphne: Only doors I only take pictures of doors.

Myrna: Oh, that’s amazing.

Using Doors as a metaphor of life

Daphne: They are, to me a metaphor for life. I want to encourage people by looking at my doors to see what I saw at that moment because I only take one picture of each door. See what I see at that moment how God lit it. How the craftsmen crafted it. Colors, the texture, noticing the details of your life makes your journey very rich. Don’t go from A to B just to get there, be sure that you pay attention to the details of getting to be because that enriches your journey and makes for a wonderful joyful life.

Myrna: Now that’s a perfect metaphor or analogy to end the transform your mind show, that is amazing. I did not notice that. And I’ve actually never heard that. How many times do we notice a door? We just use it as an entry point. So that’s beautiful if you stop and look at that. I was doing some visualization yesterday and they said that whenever you walk into the door of your house, that you should picture yourself walking into your dream life. I never pay attention to my door and never remember my visualization.

Daphne: You just notice the details in life and it really is enriching don’t just hold that phone and walk around. Open yourself up and live your life. Don’t just look for it to be animated in front of you.

Paying attention to life

Myrna: That’s wise advice. I follow the reaching of Sadhguru and he talked about, paying attention, to your inner world. So, I started doing that, paying attention, because we don’t even pay attention. Everything goes on automatically in our lives and in our body. So what you’re talking about is, paying attention, to things in life and then once you start doing that, then maybe you can bring it internally.

Daphne: Your health depends on you, paying attention, to what your body is responding to. You listen to it, and pay attention to it. It will guide you to what you need for your body.

Myrna: How can listeners connect with you and get copies of your books, masks and designs?

Daphne: www.DaphneMaxwellReid.com The site has everything about me, what I’ve been doing, what I’m going to do, what I’ve done. Join me and look at what I have to serve with what I have to offer you.

Additional Resources

The Pursuit of Happiness: The Happiness Habit

February 20, 2022August 20, 2022

How to Unleash The Power Within

We are connected to, divine consciousness, and so we come pre-loaded with the power of the Universe, we need to learn how to unleash, the power within.

This week on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast with coach Myrna, I interview Dr Donavan Outten, Dr Outten is going to share “How to unleash your, inner greatness, also called, the power within, so you can tap into the person God intended you to be.

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Tip of the week: Are you Desperate and Determined?

A few weeks ago, my pastor preached on the 3 D’s
Desperate, Determined and Dependent!
You see the 3 D’s require a mindset shift.
In order to, unleash power within, we must become desperate, determined and dependent. We see numerous times in the bible when God promoted and elevated people who were either desperate, determined or dependent on him for victory.
We see that every miracle begins with a desperate problem.

Esther was born with the power within

The story begins with Ahasuerus, ruler of the Persian Empire, holding a lavish banquet, initially for his court and dignitaries and afterwards for all inhabitants of the capital city, Shushan.
On the seventh day, Ahasuerus orders the queen, Vashti, to come and display her beauty before the guests by wearing only her crown. She refuses. Furious, Ahasuerus has her removed from her position and makes arrangements to choose a new queen from a selection of beautiful young women from throughout the empire.
One of these is the Jewish orphan, Esther. After the death of her parents, she was fostered by her cousin, Mordecai. She finds favor in the King’s eyes, and is crowned his new queen.
Ahasuerus appoints Haman as his viceroy. Mordecai, who sits at the palace gates, falls into Haman’s disfavor, as he refuses to bow down to him. Having discovered that Mordecai is Jewish, Haman plans to kill not just Mordecai, but all the Jews in the empire.
As the story unfolds, Esther the Jewish orphan turned queen, used her place as queen to intercede with the King; her desperation made her, unleash power within, her and risk death, because it was against the law to present herself to the King unsummoned. This was punishable by death.
Her determination, desperation and dependence on God, saved the Jews of the Persian Empire, she, unleashed, the power within.

Bio

Dr. Donavan Outten is a powerful trainer, consultant, educator and administrator with over 20 years’ experience. He is the Associate Vice President of Academic Affairs at Webster University.
Dr. Outten is a published author of 2 books, one of which is our topic today. Unleash your inner greatness: A guide to overcoming obstacles and Tapping into the person God meant you to be.
Dr Outten writes books to inspire and motivate individuals to achieve greatness in their lives.
His research focuses on developing young African American Students in higher education. He has also produced seminars, lectures, classes, assessments and workshops throughout the United States and Caribbean.
Dr. Outten earned his Doctorate degree in Educational Leadership from Nova.
Southeastern University, his Masters in Human Resource Development & Administration from Barry University and Bachelors in Psychology from Bethune Cookman University.

Unleashing the power within

Question 1. I know that unleashing our, inner greatness, our, the power within, is your space. Can you tell our audience what does it mean to, Unleash our, Inner Greatness,” and a little of why you chose this topic as the subject of your book.

Question 2. So what are some of the obstacles to unleashing, the power within?

Most children today are taught not to question authority, so they go about their lives always looking for someone to direct them and never focusing on their inner strength or, power within.

Question 3. Where does the power within, come from?

We are connected to source energy. If you take a droplet of water from the ocean, it has the same properties as the entire body of the ocean. Similarly we came from God or source, so we have the same powers. We just need to, unleash, the power within.

Question 4. How does an individual muster up enough strength to have such strong determination to finish a task or overcome a devastating life situation?

• Where do they find the courage to stand up for what they believe in or battle back from a medical condition that almost took their life?

• How does one leave a secure job to start a business that they are passionate about?

• What is the secret to obtaining determination and maintaining it over a period of time?
• What kinds of people have it, and what is determination?

Determination unlocks your inner greatness

Dr Outten says, “In my heart, I truly believe that determination is having the will to move forward in spite of what obstacle, barrier, or difficulty you might be facing. It is looking adversity in the face and not backing down, but pushing forward with tenacity and unleash, the power within.

He feels that Self-determination starts on the inside. It is first a thought or a belief that you can or will succeed no matter the problem you have to face. You believe in yourself even when no one else does. That spells confidence, character, and courage.

Question 5. What are some other obstacles to unleashing our, inner greatness?

Resilience: The path toward nurturing a, resilient mindset, and lifestyle is a road
that should not be taken lightly. This path has many bumps, twists, turns, and potholes
and is never straightforward. The road often contains obstacles and detours
that interfere with reaching your destination.

Passion: Your passion does not usually appear overnight. It has been dwelling
inside you for a long time. As a child, what were you passionate about? As a
teenager, what were you passionate about? As a young adult, what were you
passionate about? Often times, you will identify a pattern in what you are
passionate about. It is up to you to identify what it is and go after it.
When turning your, passion into profit, you have to be careful and work smarter,
not harder. You will run into a lot of obstacles and need to face your fears, as
things probably won’t go as smoothly as you’d like them to go. It’s all a part of
the journey.

Destiny: Destiny can be referred to as a predetermined course of events. It may
be conceived as a predetermined future, whether in general or of an individual.
What you perceive your future to be will come to pass if you work for it, believe
in it, and live your life towards it.
What you have today does not reflect what you will obtain tomorrow. If you have
the capability of looking into your future and seeing what lies ahead, then all you
have to do is work towards your goal.
Walking towards your destiny is no easy task because you will have obstacles and
hurdles along the way. There will be road blocks that will make you think that
you are going down the wrong path, but you will need to have patience,
endurance, and faith. Your faith will play a big part in finding and fulfilling your
destiny; you will need to seek guidance from God and, unleash power within.

Question 6. I know that you work predominately with the African American youth. What advice would you give them on being determined and staying the course?
You have to better than good, you have to be great.
You have to work twice as hard for the same opportunity as your white counterparts.

If you find this content valuable, please share and subscribe to my iTunes by clicking the link below:
Transform Your Mind with coach Myrna

Additional Resources

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

March 7, 2021March 19, 2021

How to Awaken to Your Soul Purpose

Your, soul purpose, is to awaken to consciousness and have a human experience through your body. Your, soul, or spirit is eternal.

Welcome to the mindset transformation radio show and podcast. Today’s show is very special to me! I am going to share with you an interview with Neale Donald Walsh, author of, “The Conversations with God,” series on, “How to Awaken Your Soul’s Purpose,”
This is special to me because his book revealed deep truths to me. My eyes were opened in wonderment!
Here are some of the revelations from the book “The Conversations with God’

Truths about Prayer and Soul Purpose

When you pray in order for your prayer to be received by God it must be in a frequency that he can hear. Just as you cannot hear this radio program if my words were not modulated to be transported over the communication lines and then demodulated back so that you can hear them. It is the same way that prayer works. Except the modulator is faith. Jesus never healed anyone who did not have faith. He said “Your faith has made you whole” So if you are asking God to grand you the desires of your heart and you don’t believe that he will, your prayers will never be answered unless it is connected to your, soul purpose.

The other part of the prayer mechanics is this:
You will not have that which you ask, nor anything you want because your request is a statement of lack.
Saying you want a thing only works to produce that precise experience – wanting- in your reality.
Abraham of the Law of Attraction books teaches the same thing.
You have to see yourself in position of the thing you want and not what you don’t want, because if you think of what you don’t want, that is exactly what you will attract and that will show up. Wondering why you keep attracting the same no good man into your experience? That is because you are so detailed in what you don’t want in a man and the Universe complies!

So when you pray you must engage faith and thank God for giving you the desires of your heart and your, soul purpose. You need to tell him all the things you do want in a man. Be just as detailed and then believe him for it. Walk in it. Believe that you already have such a man!

Truths about Relationships and Purpose

It is only through your relationship with people, places and events that you can exist in the universe. You are only who you are, relative to what another person is not. That is why opposites attract! Your, soul, is always looking for its counterpart to complete itself!

When human relationships fail (and they never really fail, they just did not produce the result you wanted), is because they were entered into for reasons not beneficial to their survival and, soul purpose.
The, purpose, of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you would like to see show up not what part of another you can capture and hold. This revelation made me look at the, purpose, of my marriage from Gods eyes.
The good news is that this marriage survived when the others failed because it had a purpose. One of them was to reveal myself to me.

Truths about Abundance and Soul Purpose

What is an abundant mindset?
Let’s say that you are walking down the road one day and you see a homeless person begging on the street corner. You go into your wallet and notice you have $7, a $5dollar bill and 2 singles. You start to give the homeless person the $5 bill but decide instead to get him the 2 singles. Why did you change your mind about giving the $5 bill? Was it because you felt that it was too much money to part with? Did you feel that you needed it more than the homeless person?

None of these answers suggest an abundant mindset. You are operating from a spirit of lack.
The most rapid way to change a root thought or sponsoring idea is to reverse the thought-word-deed process.
Do the deed that you want to have the new thought about, then say the words that you want to have the new thought about. Do this often and you’ll train the mind to think a new way.
You are what you think you are. When the thought is a negative one, you have to find a way to break out of the cycle. So much of your present experience is based on your previous thought.

Abundance Mindset and Purpose

Let’s say You need $5000 more to close on your new home. You receive a message from God to give $2000 to a sister in the church who just lost her house in a fire. You obey because you have faith that your God is able. Your common sense tells you that you are stupid and that you will never get the money back; but you act on Gods promise. You use the words that God will provide the increase.
He does, a few days later; a check for $10,000 shows up in the mail.
I listened to a message from Joyce Meyers a few weeks back, she shared a similar story. She said that she was broke and laying in bed age her Breast cancer surgery feeling very fearful about her financial situation. Both she and her husband was in full time ministry and depended on her ability to preach for their income. She wouldn’t be able to work for some time.
Then the doorbell rang and someone brought her a check for $10,000. Someone she did not know, but who God sent. From that moment, onward she did not operate out of fear or lack, she knew that God was able. When you are on a journey that matches your, soul purpose, miracles happen.

Soul expressions

When was the last time you cried with joy, wrote poetry, made music, danced in the rain, baked a pie, painted anything, fixed something that was broken, kissed a baby, held a cat to your face, kissed your dog, swam naked, walked at sunrise, played a harmonica, talked till dawn, made love for hours on a beach or in the woods, communed with nature, searched for God, sat alone in silence, or traveled to the deepest part of your being?
When was the last time you said hello to your, soul?
Wow! After reading this I made note to say hello to my, soul, more often. I need to go skinny dipping at the beach, I need to dance in the rain and make love for hours in the woods!

So how do you awaken to your soul purpose?

Your, soul, doesn’t care what you do for a living, the, soul, only cares what you are being, while you are doing what you are doing.

The function of the, soul, is to indicate its desire, not impose it.
The function of the mind is to choose from its alternatives.
The function of the body is to act out that choice.
Your, soul, has brought you to the words you are reading or listening to right now.

How I found my, soul purpose.

One day I was reading a local newspaper. Who reads newspapers these days? I never did. But this day now only did a newspaper appear in my space; but I was guided to pick it up and flip through the pages. In one of the pages was a photograph of someone I thought I recognized so I stopped to look at it. It had her name and the title beside her name, Life coach! I had never seen that word before or heard it anywhere but I knew immediately that was what I was supposed to do.
My, soul, has been directing me all my life. It always brings me to where I need to be and the people I need to be with.

True masters are those who have chosen to make a life, rather than a living.

Life’s irony is that as soon as worldly goods and worldly success are of no concern to you, the way is open for them to flow to you.
I do this for free! Open the windows of heaven Lord!

There comes a time in the evolution of every, soul, when the chief concern is no longer the survival of the physical body, but the growth of the, spirit; no longer the attainment of worldly success but the realization of self.

The goal and, purpose, of your, soul, is to fully realize itself while in your body. To become the embodiment of all that it really is.

Listen to the author Neale Donald Walsh go into detail

You could also listen on iTunes. Please remember to subscribe.

Transform your mind iTunes link

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Additional Resources

How to Accelerate Your Soul Journey: Clear these Money Blocks

March 7, 2021March 19, 2021

How to Program Yourself for Positive Change

Positive change, is identifying the things that are most important in your life, and then start eliminating everything else. This is all about simplifying your life, so that you can focus on the things that matter most to you and prevents you from getting distracted.

Here are some tips on Positive Change from the book “Switch”

How to, change, things when, change, is hardby Chip Heath and Dan Heath

Here are the facts:

Change, is a process.

1: Positive Change, is usually a situation problem, and not a personal problem.
2: For anything to, change, someone must behave differently.
3: To, change, someone’s behavior, you must, change, someone’s situation.
4: For, positive change, to stick you must influence the person’s heart and mind.

A Story on Positive Change

Arthur was an airborne paratrooper. Jumping out of airplanes killed his knees, his back, his legs. When he got out of the army he walked with a cane and couldn’t do anything so he gained a lot of weight. He could not support his weight, so he couldn’t do traditional exercise. His health rapidly declined. The doctor at the VA clinic told him to accept his faith, that he would never walk normal again.

One day while surfing the internet, he came across Diamond Dallas Page doing yoga. He said to himself, I could do this. So He bought the DVD! He figured he could use his arm to support his weight and get a cardio workout. Arthur was 297 lbs when he started doing yoga.
When he started his yoga exercises, he kept falling down and falling down, but he kept getting back up again and again!
Every day he got better and better in 10 months he had lost over 100 lbs and could not only walk without a cane but he could run!!

Change, is usually situational. Arthur had a situational problem.

Arthur taught himself to do yoga because he decided to take control of his life. He got his heart and mind in the game and changed the situation!

Change is a process.

To lead a process requires persistence. Arthur kept getting back up and trying again to do his exercises.

When a, positive change, starts, it builds on itself.
The better Arthur got at yoga, the more he was motivated to keep going.
Positive change, can snowball.
Change, rarely works unless it is motivated by feeling. Arthur wanted to feel better about himself so he made the hard choices.

That’s my tip of the week from coach Myrna.

How to change when change is hard.

There can be nothing harder than trying to loose 100 lbs when you can’t use your legs; but Arthur found a way and so can you.

Our guest today is coach Dan Willms and he is a, positive change, guru. This is his space.

Dan Willms is a Life & Business Coach, an MBA Professor, a facilitator for The Leadership Challenge, a writer and an International Speaker – he is also the creator of the Positive Change Workshop and facilitates his workshops in Portuguese, English & Spanish. He has facilitated more than 118 Positive Change Workshops. He loves helping people and organizations to achieve their fullest potential. He is the co-author of the book Strategic Leadership (Liderança Estratégica) and the author of the upcoming book “Positive Change – One life @ a time”.

Dan is also my partner, we do a video blog on YouTube every week called “You asked for it” where we answer questions sent in from our social media network. Like us on Facebook to become part of our community. Myrna Young Lifecoach and Dan Willms.

Using I am Affirmations for Positive change

I am affirmations, formulate, affirm, and perpetuate the stories you tell yourself. Stories about who you are, who you can be, and what you can do. I Am affirmations, are a powerful way to, program yourself, for, positive change.

If you want to make a, change, start where you are. Start with who you are. Support yourself right here, before you have all the answers. Do that and you’ll feel more supported in the process. And that can, change, well, everything.

I am a living, breathing example of the kind of world I want to live in.
I am a powerful force for good in the world.
I am on the right path. I am moving in the right direction.
I am worthy of all things wonderful.
I am being guided to what’s best for me and everyone else.
I am powerful enough to live in accordance with my own values, desire, and truths.
I am in the exact place I need to be to get to where I want to be.
I am intentionally promoting a life filled with joy.
I am a firm believer in my ideas.

Show notes Positive Change

Question 1. Tell us about your journey to becoming a Life coach and an ambassador for, positive change.
Question 2: What is The, Positive Change?
Question 3: Tell me about your happiness labs, how does it work?
Question 4: : What were your findings on these labs from your sample size of 400 people?
Question 5: So, based on your labs, what would you say is the secret to happiness?
Question 6: Why do you think is there so much unhappiness in the world?

Additional Resources

How to Transform your Career with Purpose

March 2, 2021March 18, 2021

Is True Wealth Financial Freedom?

The path to, financial freedom, comes from the quality of our lives. This is, true wealth.
True wealth, does not depend on how much we accumulate, save, or spend our money.

True wealth, comes from who we are on the inside, and not by what we do, or what we have.

We cannot measure our self-worth by our net worth!

The first step to, financial freedom, is to make the mental shift, that your world in here, will be reflective of your world out there.

This week on Mindset Transformation radio, I interview Trevor Evans, teacher/trainer in real estate investments.

Here is a tip of the week Financial Freedom:

There are 2 types of people in regards to, wealth, one who is magnetized and full of confidence and know his potential, and the other is demagnetized and full of fear and doubt, and he tells himself I will fail, I could lose my money, people will talk about me behind my back etc. So, he does nothing. He takes no risks!

As you have probably figured out, the demagnetized man will never get very far.
I love the parable Jesus told about the man who was going on a long trip. He called his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone.
He gave 5 bags of silver to one, two bags of silver to another, and one bag of silver to the last.
The servant who received the five bags of silver began to invest the money and earned five more. The servant with two bags of silver also invested and earned two more; but the servant who received one bag, dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money.
When the master returned, he was full of praise for the two servants who invested his money and increased it; but the servant who gave him his money back with no increase he called “wicked and lazy.”
The moral of the story is the path to, financial freedom, is investing what you have to earn more. Let your money work for you. Also it show those who use well what they are given, even more will be given to them; but those who take no risks and do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.

There are 3 honest ways to financial freedom.

The first is to work for it. The common consensus is that with a few exceptions you can never become, wealthy, working for someone else.
The second way is to inherit it. For most of us, inheritance is not a sure bet.
The third way to, financial freedom, and the most powerful way, is to invest it. Let your money work for you. Compound interest, is one of the most powerful tools in the accumulation of, wealth. Let it work for you. Do you know if you put $2000 in your 401k at 21 years old and let it grow with an annual compound interest of 10%; at age 65 it would have grown to over $1,000,000?

I love this article from Inc.com

Financial freedom in America

Nassim Taleb said, “The three most harmful addictions are heroine, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” But salaries, fed through cubicle farms, are worse than addiction: salaries are slavery. While starting a company may emancipate you from salary slavery, most founders are enslaved to their startups — trading family time, personal health, and happiness for late nights, long commutes, and stress. So where’s this, financial freedom, in the Land of the Free?

This week on Mindset Transformation radio w/ coach Myrna and podcast, I interview Trevor Evans, Speaker/Trainer. Trevor is going to talk about the mindset of an investor, what you need to do to think like an investor and not an employee as well as some foundational tools of real estate investing.

Our sponsors for this episode are A&C Limousine service and Young Real Estate Investment services.
When in the greater Toronto area and ground transportation is needed, look no further. Contact A&C Limousine service for your luxury ground transportation. We will get you there safely and on time. Call 416-892-8336 and ask for Colin.

Are you looking to invest in the south Florida market? The time is ripe for investors. Call Young Real Estate Investment Services at 954-999-6125 for all your Sales, Rentals or Property Management services. We are licensed in real estate and property management and will buy or lease your house. Don’t delay, Call today 954-999-6125

Show notes Financial Freedom:

• Topic: What is, True Wealth: The Path to, Financial Freedom
1. Question 1: Tell us of your path to becoming a Speaker/Trainer for Legacy Education Alliance and Rich Dad Education.
2. Question 2: Before you become an investor, what mindset shifts must you overcome?
3. What I love about the Legacy training is that it focuses on understanding the market and how to use money and not just on the brick and mortar of Real Estate investing. It covers using credit card as an asset instead of a liability. So that is the first mindset shift I think we should discuss.
4. What is the second mindset shift you think is important to acquiring, wealth?
5. If someone listening to this show wants to start investing in, real estate, what advice would you give them and where should they start.
6. When I took your class, you spent the first 2 hours totally letting us wait for the information you know we all wanted to hear but you spent time teaching about Abraham Hicks vortex and frequency. Why was that important?

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web: www.myrnayounghelps.com
Also please subscribe to my iTunes podcast and leave a review.
Transform Your Mind with coach Myrna iTunes

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/is-starting-a-real-estate-investment-llc-a-good-idea/

February 19, 2021February 25, 2021

Let the Universal Laws of Attraction Work For You

There is more to becoming a deliberate creator, than just letting the, universal laws, of attraction bring to you the desires of your heart. We all know it does not work like that. Some of you have been asking the, Universe, and praying to God for years, and you are still waiting to manifest your desires into your experience.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Matthew 7:7

This is a big topic. There is a lot written on, the Laws of Attraction. In my book “Out of the Snares” I embrace these, universal laws, fully. I also expected and allowed what I was attracting to show up. I lived consciously believing that ..

“there are no coincidences in life, that everything moment is as it should be.” ~~Deepak Chopra

I tell the story in my book “Out of the Snares” of me coming to the USA under the USA Free trade agreement, which allows Canadians and Mexicans to open up branch offices of current businesses in the USA; but when I got to the United States, I decided I wanted the benefits of being an American. I told myself “It would be nice if I found a husband.” As soon as I concentrated on that possibility the, Universal laws, started offering up to me suitors for me to choose from!

Become a deliberate creator using the universal laws

There is more to becoming a deliberate creator, than just asking and receiving for everything you want. We all know it does not work like that. Some of you have been asking the, Universe, and praying to God for years, and you are still waiting to manifest your desires into your experience.

Here are 5 ways to help with being a deliberate creator and invoking the Universal laws.

1. Offer no resistance:
You have to offer no resistance to the, universal laws, you are letting go and letting God. In the above example. If and when the thought, came to me to find a husband and I had a bad experience with a prior husband and I told myself that most men are no good, then essentially what I am doing is saying on one hand I would like a husband and on the other hand, I don’t want a man because they are nothing but trouble. That sends mixed messages to the, universal laws, of attraction.

2. You have to allow it to come in.
Look at your list of things you want to attract in your life as people outside the walls of one of the ancient cities. This is, the secret. They can’t come in unless someone opens the gates of the city. In a similar way, you have to quiet your mind and stop confusing the, Universe, with all the stuff in your head. Find time every day to meditate and allow the, Universe, and its, universal laws, to work for you.

3. You have to believe in the 7 universal laws

Faith, is the evidence of things unseen. The bible teaches that if you have the, faith, of a mustard seed, you can say to the mountain get up and go into the sea. Faith is one way to let the, universal laws, work in your life. Logically and in the physical world that is not possible but Jesus was teaching us that “If you believe you can do anything.” That is truth. I have seen amputees climb to the top of Mount Everest, I have seen people swim across lakes, I have seen human beings defy incredible odds to survive and achieve. It all starts in the mind, if you think you can.

4. You have to be conscious of your emotions.
Your emotions are a powerful indicator of if you are moving towards or away from your desires. If you feel elated and happy, you are moving in the direction of your desires; if you feel dread and nervousness then that is your heart telling you that it knows something you don’t. Learn to pay attention. The trick is to not spend time thinking about the things that make you feel bad because you will attract more of them.

5. Become a deliberate creator or Sorcerer.
Sorcerer means from the source. Becoming a Sorcerer means that you are letting source energy and the, universal laws, work for you. It means that you meditate on what you want, pray and ask God to help you get it and then you move out of the way and let him do his work. The focus here is on the word “meditate”. You have to get still and hear God. When you do, you will get inspiration and instruction on how to move that mountain out of the way. You will get instructions on how to turn your business around, how to motivate your children, new book ideas etc.

In my book “Out of the Snares” I share with you, my readers, the principles of the Bible and the Universal Laws or Truths that I stood on to win. Order your copy today.https://myhelps.us/book-order/

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/if-you-build-it-they-will-come/

http://blog.myhelps.us/law-of-harvest-are-you-eating-seed/