Building trust in Personal and Parental Relationships

August 20, 2023

Building trust in Personal and Parental Relationships

How to Build Stronger Relationships With Trust

In the intricate tapestry of personal and parental relationships, building trust, is the cornerstone upon which strong bonds are formed. This blog delves into the delicate art of building and nurturing trust with benevolence and integrity. Join us on this exploration of trust’s transformative power, and uncover the keys to forging lasting connections that stand the test of time.

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Introduction

Daryl stickle is one of the world’s leading experts in trust with over 20 years experience his PhD building trust in hostile environments. Duke University established him as a global leader for governments and businesses. His unpractical approaches to, building trust, that has worked for McKinsey and Company in their Toronto office as well as advise the Canadian military on, building trust, in Afghanistan. He has served as faculty for the Luxembourg School of Business and the Center for Effective organized organizations at the University of Southern California and recently completed his book Building Trust Exceptional Leadership in an Uncertain world.

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Myrna: maybe we can lay some foundations of how that can happen for anybody that’s listening, but I know that you help leaders and organizations. I understand you have a structured and systematic approach that helps leaders to build trust.

Building Trust in the Corporate World

Darryl: I and I also do work with families trying to help them understand, how to build stronger relationships. For me trust is a willingness to make ourselves vulnerable, when we can’t completely predict how someone else is going to behave.

If I’m a leader, how do I know if people trust me? I’ll ask these questions. One of the challenges we face is just a lack of awareness about who we trust and how much. If I asked you, do you trust me? You’d feel awkward right? It’s awkward to say no, because that would be rude and it might trigger an inappropriate response.

Our head goes to this place where we either trust people or we don’t, it’s a dichotomous variable, like an old-time light switch. The reality is we trust some people more than others and so when I ask people who do you trust, I get these close tight personal relationships. Best friends, siblings, spouse parents.

When I flip the question and I say who trusts you? I get this sort of long pause and then people say, how do I know if someone trusts me or not? I’m a leader my subordinates can make themselves vulnerable by telling me what their real development needs are? By taking risks, making mistakes by pushing back against things that they don’t think are going to work and coming up with Innovative Creative Solutions.

Definition of trust

I believe that trust is a combination of uncertainty and vulnerability and in fact it’s uncertainty times vulnerability. It gives us a level of perceived risk, we each have a threshold of risk that we’re willing to tolerate. NFR perception of the risk goes beyond that threshold. We don’t trust if it’s beneath it then we do and so, building trust, actually becomes a fairly simple matter of understanding where does uncertainty come from. Where does vulnerability come from and how do I take steps to help people manage those.

Myrna: How do I build trust, or how do I trust someone? I believe that trust is earned. For instance, let’s say we’re starting off in a, business relationship, I am going to trust you until you burn me. I am going to trust you until I realize that you’re stabbing me in the back. How does vulnerability comes into play?

Darryl: We start off in the world with a high level of trust and in most situations our parents go out of their way to make sure that we don’t experience levels of vulnerability that are too high. They try to prevent us from being injured, they try to keep people from us who they don’t think are safe and they keep an eye on situations where we might get burned.

So we learn over time about how much risk we’re willing to tolerate and part of that’s cultural and part of that’s historic. The example you give of we we start with a new boss or a new team or a new set of co-workers yes there’s a certain level of trust there and it’s partly because we have these expectations that we’re all sort of pulling in the same direction. We’re all kind of on the same side and we dip our toe, we don’t make ourselves incredibly vulnerable right away.

We accept a little bit of vulnerability as we come to understand them and I’m going to frame this in terms of relationships. Early in relationships we have high levels of uncertainty, which means we can only tolerate a small range of vulnerability and still fit beneath that threshold we’re comfortable with. As we gain more experience that uncertainty starts to go down which means the range of vulnerability we can tolerate starts to grow.

Building trust with benevolence

There are three levers we can pull from the individual perspective, there’s benevolence, integrity and ability.

Benevolence – is the belief you have my best interest at heart and then she’ll actually work in my best interest.
Integrity – is do I follow through on my promises and do my actions line up with my values and abilities. Do I have the confidence to do what I say I’m going to do? So that boss has to have shown us at some point that their response is going to be supportive and helpful rather than angry and frustrated and that that they’re going to tolerate mistakes.
Ability – As you learn and grow, I want to position you to succeed and I’m going to ask you to do something that’s slightly outside your comfort zone and you come back to me and say, I may not get it perfect but I am goin to try.

Myrna: You also have a system that helps parents, build trust, with their children. One of the things that I know as a parent is that your kids are always watching. How do you teach parents to, build trust, with their children?

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How can parents build trust with their children

Darryl: I’ve actually written an article on this that’s on my website at trustunlimited.com it’s free if people want to go look for it it’s in the blog section. It’s on trust and parenting, but again it goes back to those levers. We explain the context so there are four levers within uncertainty. I believe that there are ten altogether that we can pull, and the four within uncertainty are benevolence, integrity, ability and context is the fourth lever.

So to the extent that our kids understand how we’re constrained and what we can and can’t do, and what the rules are for our family. Then they understand how we’re going to behave, but we also need to be able to convince them that we have their best interests at heart. I talk about benevolence quite a bit and when I’m working with families, I’ll ask them, who here has their kids best interest at heart and all the hands go up.

When I flipped that question and say how many of your kids would say that you have their best interest at heart? it’s about a third and it’s somewhat hesitant and so how do we make it obvious, how do we make it land? It doesn’t mean always being nice. Benevolence is truly about having their best interest at heart.

Myrna: I’m loving this. We’ve talked about the office, we’ve talked about parents. Let’s talk now about, building trust is personal relationships.

Building trust in personal relationships

Darryl: How does trust evolve in, personal relationships? From the start it’s going throughout that blend of uncertainty and vulnerability. In our relationships as uncertainty gets more and more compressed, as we become more and more convinced that we know the other person and how they’re going to act, the range of vulnerability we can tolerate starts to really grow. In our deepest relationships, we’ve got very small levels of uncertainty which means we can be incredibly vulnerable with one another.

There can be things that happen to cause the uncertainty to rise for us which makes us uncomfortable. When I work with people around, how to, build trust, I focus in on the 10 levers that I talk about. Four of them are within uncertainty, two of them are within vulnerability, there’s two within perceived outcomes because we interpret the world through stories.

I was working with a student in Luxembourg and I said, I want you to tell me a relationship that’s really important to you and he said my girlfriend. I said great when you go home tonight you’re going to say to your girlfriend, I was talking with Daryl today and he said that benevolence is really important to, building Trust, and that means having someone else’s best interest at heart. He asked me about a relationship that really mattered to me and I said you.

Book: Building Trust Exceptional Leadership in an uncertain world

Myrna: Tell us about your book it’s called Building Trust Exceptional Leadership in an Uncertain world why did you write it?

Darryl: It especially a leadership book, there’s some personal stuff as well. I find the model holds. I had to pick somewhere to start. If I were to write another book, which I may, it would be around parenting and family. I wrote the book I put everything in there, there’s no hidden messages that I’ve kept secret. I’ve put the whole model on, building trust, in the book. I’ve also talked through all 10 levers.

I’ve talked about how to pull those levers effectively, I’ve given examples and case studies of situations where those levers have been pulled and what we’ve done. So the intent of the book is to really scale things. I’ve also got a master class, it’s about three hours in length. It’s five minute segments that really walks people through trust and uses role plays and exercises to help people actually apply the skills.

Conclusion

Myrna: tell us about your website tell us about your course your social media handles

Darryl: You can reach out to me at Darryl@trustunlimited.com you can go to the website trustunlimited.com and there’s a Blog section there with articles and some podcasts. There’s a course, there the master class that’s available and you can order the book anywhere online. People can reach out to me on LinkedIn.

I’ve got a YouTube channel it’s just in its very early stages it’s trust unlimited podcasts

Additional Resources

How To Develop Trust In Relationships

March 5, 2023April 23, 2023

How to Fly like an Eagle above the Storms of Life

Eagles, love the storm. When clouds gather, the Eagle, get excited. The Eagle, uses the, winds of the storm, to lift it higher. We can also learn to, fly like an eagle, above the, storms of life.

Did you suffer from Childhood sexual abuse or sexual harassment as an adult? Today on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast, I share my journey from being sexually abused as a child and how I used the, storms of life, to, fly like an, eagle in a storm. I teach how you too can use the winds from the, storms of life, to elevate your life to greater heights.

In this blog, we will study the, Eagle, and how the, Eagle, looks forward to the storm, because the, eagle, knows that only by using the, winds of the storm, can she elevate to greater heights. Eagles in a storm, fly above the storm. Without the, storm, she can never fly above the clouds. Similarly, in life we need challenges, hurts and disappointments to get us out of our comfort zones and teach us to fly like, eagles in a storm. Without the, storms of life, we would become complacent.

Here are some characteristics of the Eagle:

How to, fly like an Eagle, above the, storms of life

The crow that picks and picks at the ground, can’t rise to the heights of the eagle or is not conditioned to rise about the ground. It’s mindset is to stay on the ground and peck for food.

The, Eagle, does not escape the, storm. It simply uses the, storm, to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the, storm.

When the, storms of life, come upon us — and all of us will experience them — we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God and fly above the, storms of life, like an eagle, or we can be like the crow and peck and peck on the ground.

The, storms of life, do not have to overcome us. We can allow power of, Jesus Christ, to lift us above thw, winds of the storm. Jesus Christ, enables us to ride the, winds of the storm, that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the, storm.

Eagles, in the, Storm

1. Eagles, fly alone at high altitude and not with sparrows or with other small birds. No other bird can go to the height of the, Eagle. We can, fly like an eagle, where no others go.
2. Eagles, have strong vision. They have the ability to focus on something up to five kilometers away. When an, Eagle, sites his prey, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it. No matter the obstacle, the, Eagle, will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it. We can have vision like an, Eagle, and have focus on our goals.
3. Eagles in the storm, When clouds gather the, Eagle, get excited. The, Eagle, uses the, winds of the storm, to lift it higher. Once it finds the, winds of the storm, the Eagle uses the raging, storm, to lift him above the clouds. This gives the, Eagle, an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the leafs and branches of the trees. We can use the, storms of life, to rise to greater heights. Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.

Storms, bring destruction

I meditated on the reason for the hurricanes that caused so much destruction to homes and property in the Caribbean islands, Houston, TX and Florida. I believe that God does not make mistakes, that everything in the Universe has a purpose. So, I asked myself what is the purpose of the, storm?

My initial response from the Universe was that, storms, are created with the purpose to blow down the old and make room for the new, because everything is recycled on this earth. But I felt there was more so that is why I decided to study the, Eagle. As mentioned before. The ,Eagle, uses the, storm, to elevate him higher. He can’t fly to great heights without the winds of the storm.

What if God created the, storm, to elevate his people?

The, storm, does not only blow down old trees, it blows down old houses as well, it blows down old power posts and power lines. So, in actuality we should be like the eagle and anxiously await the storm to see what old thing will be renewed.

It works for old relationships as well. There is something immensely intimate about riding out the, storm, with your loved one. Just you and your close family members. All the attention is on each other. No television, no lights just the personal connection and candle light!

I have always loved, storms. I remember the first, storm, that me and my husband rode out together. We were only dating for about 3 months. I loved the rain on the roof, the sounds of the winds rustling the roof, the sight of the palm trees blowing in the winds and being wrapped up in his arms. I think we came out of that experience closer than we went in. That is a time to really talk and share! Get to know each other.

The other thing the, storm, to the Caribbean Islands brings is new things to replace the old. If you had an old roof and the wind blew if off, guess what FEMA will give you a new one. If your pool screens were old and the wind just ripped them apart more then guess what you get new screens at no cost to you. If your old car was on its last leg, then you could park it under a tree and pray the tree falls on it! You get my point.

How you experience anything depends on how you interpret it. Change your mindset that the, storm, comes to take from you and replace it with the winds of the storm brings change. Changing out the old for the new.

Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, in the, storm, and you will not sink

But I still think there is more!
The bible teaches us to keep our eyes on, Jesus Christ, when we are in the, storm.
There was a time when Jesus had sent his disciples to go on before him while he stayed in the mountain to pray (Matthew 14:23).
While they were in the boat there came a, storm, “and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.”- Matthew 14:24

Seeing the distress his disciples were in, Jesus Christ, went to them, walking on water. When Peter saw, Jesus Cjrist, he asked him to allow him to come to him, by walking on the water. Peter started to walk on with his faith however, when Peter reached at a certain distance he got distracted, and when he got distracted by the boisterous wind he became afraid and started to sink.

“But when [Peter] saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” (Matthew 14:30 NIV)

Many of us are like Peter, we started our journey with the Lord and even though the, storms of life, come our, faith, allows us to overcome these trials, you could say to ‘walk on water’. But along the way we get distracted especially when we think the situation has gone on for too long, or we come upon big, storm. I am using the, storm, here as a metaphor for trouble. It was easy to trust God when our trials were little; but what happens when the situations seem bigger than we are able to handle? What happens when we have a category 4 storm? Do we let fear in? Or do we anticipate it with the mindset that it will elevate us to new heights?

Focusing on what’s happening around us will cause us to be afraid; afraid of losing our family, losing our jobs, our homes, or being broke and not having enough to take care of our needs. We start worrying about what is going to happen next and very soon we start to sink.

The, storm, also bring with it floods. The water could be more dangerous than the winds.
With Irma, I was going to ride out the, storm, in my home because my house is built to withstand the winds; but as soon as they started talking about 10-15 ft. storm surges. I called my husband and said we are leaving now! I was afraid of my car being under water and I pictured me on the roof waiting to be rescued. So, I understand fear!

Joel Osteen had a message about flood waters he used the analogy of your water breaking during childbirth. That flood there signals new birth as is regarded with excitement. He also reminded us that we never know when that flood is going come. His wife Victoria water broke when she was in an elevator going somewhere that was not the hospital! It is all about perception. Ask yourself what is the good that can come out of the house and car being flooded? You get new ones of course ! Usually the insurance pays!

Here are five things God wants you to do if you feel like you’re sinking in a, storm.

1. Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, and stay focus.
The moment you take your eyes off the Lord, you will go under. When you focus on the wind and the waves — your circumstances — you’re going to sink, just like Peter. There will be many things happening in the world to get you distracted. Economies going under, crime and violence on the rise, people losing their jobs, accidents on the rise and so forth. These things will get you distress. Jesus Christ, tells us that when we see these things happening, that is not the time to get sidetracked, but it is the time to look up (Luke 21:28.)

2. Do not be fearful, Jesus is with you in the, storm.
When you’re in a, storm, it is very easy to become fearful, fearful that you will not get rid of a sickness, fearful that your marriage will end, fearful that your child will die, fearful that you will not be able to pay off your debts or bills and still have enough money to survive. But when fear comes, and it will come, take authority over it and stand on the promises of God that he will always be with you. Fear comes with torment and that’s why Jesus gives us peace (John 14:27). Peace that will help you to ride out your storms.

3. Don’t let go of, faith.
Faith, is like our heavenly currency that we use to draw what we need from the spiritual realm. When you maintain your faith you will receive strength to weather the, storms of life.

4. Don’t doubt.
You don’t need great, faith, to make it through the, storms of life. You just need faith in the right person, that is, Jesus Christ. Peter started to sink when he started to doubt.

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5. Praise God.
Praise is a weapon, a very powerful one. It confuses the enemy as he cannot understand how you able facing your storms but will have a praise. When Jehoshaphat was facing a large army, he did not use swords to fight his battle, he just praised God and his enemies were totally destroyed. Even in the storm, even when you feel like you’re sinking, even when you’re scared to death — praise him all the time.

Additional Resources

Life Leadership & Success

http://blog.myhelps.us/principle-2-the-events-in-your-life-whether-good-or-bad-work-together-for-good/

February 18, 2023April 19, 2023

5 Questions to Ask Before Going with Your Gut Feelings

Never go with your, gut feelings, because what is true is that your gut, intuition, is often going to be lying to you. Just like people who are depressed and anxious feel that there’s something to be said about, gut feelings, when there’s not, and feel there’s a threat when there is not. Instead use counter intuitive strategies to make decisions.

In this episode of the Transform your Mind to Transform your Life podcast, I interview Dr Gleb Tsipursky, Cognitive Neuroscientist and Behavioral Economist and author of the book “Never Go With Your Gut: How Pioneering Leaders Make the Best Decisions and Avoid Business Disasters.”

What was your path in becoming a Cognitive Neuroscientist?

I was 18 in 1999 when the Prince song party like it’s 1999 was Hot. A lot of leaders were partying because their companies were going boom they were making a lot of a lot of money. Billions of dollars were invested into the dot.com industry, and just a couple of years later when I was 21 in 2002, they all went bust. The leaders of the dot.com era made terrible decisions. They trusted their, Gut feelings, and went bust! That and the fact I saw my father trust his, gut feelings, and made terrible decisions, made me study to become a Cognitive Neuroscientist.

Leaders who went with their, gut feelings, made bad decisions

A lot of Leaders who went with, gut feelings, went to jail. Their, gut instincts, were way off. Never trust just your, gut feelings. I was curious about what was going on, so I decided to study the neuroscience of the brain and how people think. I became a Trainer, Consultant, and Coach for business leaders.

Cognitive neuroscience, is a subfield of neuroscience that studies the biological processes that underlie human cognition, especially in regards to the relation between brain structures, activity and cognitive functions. The purpose of it is to determine how the brain functions and achieves performance.is the study of how our brain works, how we make decisions and what our patterns of decision-making are. I also studied the specific judgment errors that we make when we make decisions purely from, gut feelings.

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One of the first things I wanted to know because as a, Lifecoach myself, when I sit down in a coaching session, I’m looking for certain things in order for me to understand where my clients are coming from. As a cognitive neuroscientist and behavioral economist, what are you looking for when you were consulting with these business leaders?

Coaching to, Gut Instinct

The first thing I’m looking for is to make sure the person is coachable. A lot of people would like to go to a coach, but they’re not coachable. Meaning that they’re not willing to listen to external feedback and accept that sometimes, someone looking from the outside is going to be wiser than the person looking from the inside and making those, gut feeling, decisions.

I also try to find an issue of disagreement and in the first session, to see how the person reacts to this disagreement. Because if this person’s is not able to deal with this disagreement, then we’re not going to be able to have an effective coaching relationship. Because as a coach I’m going to tell you what I think, and if you can’t accept feedback, we can’t work together and I’d like to discover that as quickly as possible.

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The other thing that I look for at the start of the session is how emotionally aware this person is. That’s the quality of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence refers to two broad skill sets:

emotional awareness – where is this person emotions
and emotional management – how are they able to manage their emotions.

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It is really an important element for me to understand. Do I need to teach this person these skills of emotional intelligence, personal skills, emotional awareness and emotional management? Because in order to make good decisions, instead of going with, gut feelings, we need to realize that our emotions are the overwhelming factor driving our, gut intuition and, gut instinct. Our emotions shape about 80 to 90 percent of our, gut feelings, and decision-making. Going with your, gut feelings, means going with your, gut instinct intuition, and they’re often wrong, so this is a problem.

When my clients notice that there are goals they want to achieve from coaching are at odds with their natural inclinations and natural intuition, they change their natural state. One of the very important aspects of coaching, is to change your natural state of activities otherwise there is no point in coaching.

One key aspect of coaching, is to change from where you are today to where you want to be

I’m looking for that as well how aware is the person of their emotions and how able are they to manage their emotions and, gut feelings.

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Leaders shouldn’t just use gut feelings to make decisions

As a Cognitive Neuroscientist and Behavioral Economist, you had enough data to write a book on disaster avoidance and that’s also name of your company. Does your research indicate that most people who follow their, gut feelings, or, gut instinct, make the wrong decisions?

Yes, overwhelmingly people who just go with their, gut feelings, and make decisions by, gut reaction, as opposed to people who check with their heads before going with their, gut feelings, make the wrong decisions.

Let’s look at small businesses. A lot of small business owners who don’t have training go with their, gut feeling, and open up a business. They feel that they can do this job, I can do this work. I can run this restaurant or this hair salon or I can be a plumber. But when you look at the actual statistics, what happens to small businesses is about half of them fail within the first five years, about two-thirds of them fail within the first ten years; because people make decisions based on, gut feelings. They just go with their, gut instincts, they don’t check with their head before going with their, gut feeling. Never just go with your, gut feelings.

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Podbean

5 Questions to Ask Before Going with Your Gut Feelings

That business leader this who wants to open up a hair salon needs to learn about these, cognitive biases, the 30 most dangerous ones that she might be suffering from

I list them all in my book “Never Go With Your Gut: How Pioneering Leaders Make the Best Decisions and Avoid Business Disasters.”

I will list 5 of them here.

The Confirmation Bias – where she might be looking for information from, gut feelings, that confirms her beliefs and ignoring information that do not confirm her beliefs.
Objective Adviser – Understanding the failure rate for hair salons. The failure rate for hair salons are a little bit higher than the failure rate for typical small businesses, so the first question to answer is why she would not fail. What makes her so special ? Never go with just, gut feelings.
Get uncomfortable – Look for information that is uncomfortable and that to prove to herself whether this is the right decision or not.
Check for the optimism bias. Business leaders who open up new restaurants, new salon or new small businesses tech startups tend to be very optimistic. They are too optimistic compared to the reality of the situation.
Exit strategy if Business fails – what are all the reasons why it would fail. Was it the wrong location? Management etc?

Additional Resources Never go with Your, Gut Feelings

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V3QWa9WdzQ

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-top-7-reasons-meditation-can-help-your-business-increase-revenues/

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-brain-gut-connection

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/gut-second-brain/

https://lonerwolf.com/gut-instincts/

August 13, 2022October 6, 2022

4 Life Hacks that will Motivate your Teams

Everyone is different. We developed a system to measure and define the brains Ambiguity Relief Process, these, life hacks, is called the Colored Brain.

My guest today is Arthur Carmazzi, best selling author of “The 6 Dimensions of Top Achievers” Arthur talks about, life hacks, from his work with the, Colored brain. The Colored Brain analysis is use as a method to motivate teams and leaders.

Colored Brain Life Hacks

I started doing research on the different personalities decades ago, I found out that personality it’s too complicated and can’t be accurate with so many complicated variables. So I started looking into elements of why people are mis-communicating, why people are frustrated, why people lose
trust, and so I found some genetic foundations or, life hacks, I found out why are people motivated and why they become unmotivated. I found out some of the factors or the mind-body connection.

After about a little over a year of research, I started to apply some of these ideas and, life hacks, that later became known as the Directive Communication Psychology body of work. This Psychology ended up saving the company I was working for at the time, about seventeen thousand dollars a week in wasteful work.

After that I started writing articles and then I got on the radio and TV. So I quit my job and started on the road to becoming a top Global Thought Leader in organizational culture specializing in, life hacks,

I started to open franchises in 2005, we now have like over 400 licensed Directed Communications Psychology trainers and coaches in 18 different countries.

The Master Key

We created systems! We can call it the combination to the lock.

The Master key for the lock is a something called Modeling.

Modeling is basically all the modalities. Everyone operates from a different system. Let’s take for example somebody like Richard Branson. Richard has a very chaotic process of achieving things. The way that he interprets information is different from most. The way that he acts on information is very different from for example the late Steve Jobs.

Steve Jobs isn’t a serial entrepreneur. Richard has what we call Chaotic Processor. If I tried to model Steve Jobs to create a Richard Branson, I would fail because Steve Jobs does not have the same brain process, he doesn’t interpret information the same as Richard Branson. Therefore I would not succeed by trying to model him. This is where, life hacks, come into play.

We’re all different, we all process information differently. We all have a different digestive system, different fingerprints. There’s no two people alike.

We developed a system to measure and define the brains ambiguity relief process, we call this this system, The Colored Brain,.

The colored Brain, basically segments the different processes into individual clarity getting processes.

This has nothing to do with personality; this is how your brain gets clarity. We use, life hacks, to get this clarity. There are different processes that your brain gets clarity from and it’s based on specific lengths of specific genes and specific parts of your brain that release neurotransmitters or regulate neurotransmitters.

If we go to organizational culture, one of the primary breakdowns in organizational culture, is the lack of trust and respect for management. This is because everyone is processing information differently and don’t trust anyone who does not think like them.

4 Parts of the The Colored Brain

• Chaotic processing or Green brain – In the, Green brain, literally nothing is connected and because nothing is connected what happens is it will go anywhere. The, Green Brain, can create something from nothing. It gets a little bit of information and immediately goes running. In order to get clarity the, Green brain, will start to take action. Other people are freaking out and the, Green Brain, people are already doing it. People will say they’re just so impulsive, jumping into stuff without really knowing or checking it out first. In fact, Green brains, make the most of the mistakes of any other brain color; but they also recover faster from mistakes of any other brain color. They get clarity through action.
• Relational testing or Purple brain – For the Purple brain, everything is related and everything is connected. Purple brain, need to get information now. It’s important to know all about the details and the information. Everything is connected, so the moment that they get information, they put it in kind of a database. That automatically starts to connect to everything else, and so what happens is that the more information and the more details they get, the more options they have.

Once they feel that they have clear options, they can then go ahead and choose an option and move on from there. That is how they create their, life hack, for processes. If they’re wrong they still have other options and maybe they might get a little more information. These Purple brain, people oftentimes take a long time to get all of this information and all of these details. People sometimes misunderstand them and think they’re slow or they’re not efficient. These Purple brain, people are actually quite good at creating systems because everything is connected. They create, life hacks, that works for their clarity.
• Linear processing or Red brain – Red brains, need structure. They look for structure in order to work. If there isn’t any structure in place, what ends up happening is they start to create it and sometimes it’s a little bit frustrating to others on the team. They want to know, what is the first step? What is the second step and so on. People may think this person is an idiot and he doesn’t know what he’s doing and so there’s judgments, lack of trust and lack of respect. Because, Red brains, get clarity through structure it’s an active process. So they create this kind of logical process or, life hack, that affects their ability to connect with people.
• Intuitive processing or Blue brain – Intuition is not some woo woo thing that the Universe gives you. Intuition is actually a part of your unconscious experience. You’ve got all of these things that have happened to you and have happened around you that you haven’t been noticing; but your subconscious notices and records everything. Blue brains pick up on stuff very easily because of this, life hack, They pick up on what’s going on around them, they’re quite empathetic to the feelings of others. They often times they end up taking on other people’s problems as their own. Multitasking is much easier for Blue brain, than it is for the other colors.

The colored brain, is a genetic foundation and that doesn’t change. We started talking about keys and the master key. If you understand your colored brain, you understand your primary motivators. These, life hacks, will motivate your teams because you will understand and cater to how everyone processes information. Every motivator basically is connected to a behavior. You can customize it accordingly with mini Gamified processes that will constantly motivate your teams.

Additional Resources
https://neilpatel.com/blog/be-an-effective-leader/
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-use-the-universal-law-of-action-to-achieve-success-in-life/
http://blog.myhelps.us/the-secret-to-having-it-all/
” rel=”noopener” target=”_blank”>

www.youtube.com/carmazzitv http://www.youtube.com/carmazzitv

May 24, 2022August 20, 2022

How to Become an Open Communicator

Sometimes being an, open communicator, vs a closed off communicator gets you out of bad situations like in a relationship. In every area of life, there is no reward if there is no risk taken.

This week on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast with Coach Myrna Young, I interview Leadership Coach and Trainer, Gail Green.
Gail teaches us How to Become an, open Communicator. Gail is the founder of GoGreen Learning.
To receive her Free Gift of 3 Go Cards send her an email from her web site www.gogreenlearning.com

Here is a brief Biography of Gail Green.

•Gail is a leadership coach and trainer and her topic today is “How to find out if you are an, open vs closed communicator, as well as an, open communicator in the workplace. Gail is a leader who connects individuals and teams to their truth, helping them to discover their full expression of courage, joy and fulfillment. Gail works with all sizes of companies, as well as individually with leaders, and do life coaching with individuals from all walks of life.

Gail’s primary work is in leadership development, teambuilding, stress management and all forms of, open and honest communication.

Who is a Closed Communicator?

Why is being a, closed communicator, bad?

As a, closed communicator:

you become defensive,
resistant,
bitchy,
moody,
easy to anger,
confrontational,
and not open to feedback.

So as a Leader, it is important to be an, open communicator, to your team and employees.

Open people radiate outwards from their heart and is able to touch others.

If you want to impact your employees and your customers, then learn how to be open.
Listen to the podcast as Gail teaches us how to be an, Open vs Closed communicator, with the help of her Go Cards.

Brian Tracy The author of “Eat that Frog” also teaches How to become an, Open Communicator, as a Leader and achieve new levels of success in sales.
Click the link below to find out how.

Are You also Closed Off in your personal relationships And Don’t Even Know It?

Being an, open communicator in a relationship, is necessary for the relationship to be healthy.

Here are a few questions to find out if you are an, open communicator.

How Would you answer the following questions?
Are you emotionally guarded?
Are you willing to take risks?

If you answered yes to these questions, it could mean that you are closed off emotionally.

Sometimes being emotionally guarded gets you into bad situations; but most of the time it gets you nowhere. In every area of life, there is no reward if there is no risk taken. So that could be why you keep finding yourself in relationships that bore you, or in relationship with other emotionally closed off individuals. Because like attracts like. Those relationships aren’t very rewarding, are they?

Open and honest communication, is the best way to be in relationships at home and workplace. If you don’t take the risk by becoming an, open communicator, and putting your true self and your true feelings on the table, those are the types of relationships that you will attract.

Your emotionally open friends who love being, open communicators, will get those giddy, best-friends-lovers, movie-type romances; you will get the dead-end ones. Maybe you’ve never had your heart broken, and maybe you think that’s a perk. But it’s not. It is said that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all! So, I will ask the question. Are you closed off communicator and don’t even realize it?

Here is an article from Madame Enoire that asks 10 more ways to tell if you are closed off personally.

Here are 10 ways to tell if you an, open communicator, or closed off

Do you feel like first dates are interrogations, and are put off by the line of questioning you receive during them?
Does it feel very inappropriate to you whenever someone becomes emotional around you?
Do your friends share their romantic stories with you? Or do they feel that you are never happy for them so they don’t share?
Do you attract cocky guys?
You do a lot of Googling before first dates.
You prep your friends to meet a guy.
Sex is a competition.
You’ve never cried to a partner or shown your venerability.
Eye contact makes you very uncomfortable
You’re very sarcastic

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Show Notes Open Communicator:

• Topic: Are you an Open or, Closed Communicator?
Tell us your journey towards becoming a Leadership coach
How did you come to specialize in, Open vs closed communication?
How does a leader know if he or she is, open vs closed communicator? What determines that?
If a leader becomes closed off, how can he or she trace the source?
Why should leaders want to become open? What are the benefits of being an, open communicator?
What tools do you offer as a coach to help clients who are closed off to become, open communicators?
You sent me this beautiful set of Go Cards, how does one use these cards to change their state?
How do we become, open communicators in the workplace?
What is the, meaning of open communication?

Additional Resources

Life Leadership & Success

February 21, 2022

Finding the Identity of Your Passion

Passion, is something that is designed to fulfill us when we’re operating and interacting with ourselves, and almost acts like a fusion energy that is constantly replenishing itself as it’s being utilized. There’s a difference between liking to do something and being, passionate, about it.

Download the podcast Here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10100933-finding-the-identity-of-your-passion.mp3?download=true

Bio

Billy F. Wroe is a native out of Sacramento, CA, with over 25 years of experience in retail, recruiting, sales, management, and analytics.
As an inspirational speaker and empowerment coach, he has worked with individuals, groups, and companies to help optimize productivity in leadership communication. Over the years, Billy has adopted the leadership concepts inspired by Stephen Covey, John Maxwell, Brian Tracy, Les Brown, and a host of other phenomenal inspirational speakers. His advanced comprehension of emotional intelligence has guided him in creating content that resonates with the heart of the human experience.

As a dedicated husband, father of 4, and friend, Billy possesses a gift to connect deeply when building rapport. By identifying with his audience, not as an expert, but as a compassionate mentor, he embraces vulnerability when sharing both his faults and successes during interactions. Rather than telling people what they need to do to achieve their goals, he focuses on guiding them to discover solutions for themselves.

How An Analyst Found His Passion

Billy: My story is one that is filled with emotion from probably the time I was born, I was really a very emotional child. But I didn’t know how to navigate the emotions that I would experience. So a lot of times as a child, I would lash out, throwing temper tantrums, being stubborn and being hard headed. And over the years, as you get older, you learn some tools along the way.

In my 30s I started reflecting on my childhood and asked the question what was that all about? And as I reflected on my childhood, I really came to the overarching theme in the experiences that I was having in life. And really, it was I was the child who reached out and said, Hey, person sitting by yourself, do you want to play?

The person who if you can’t stand up for yourself, I’ll stand up for you. And the overarching theme became that I really just wanted to help people. But in order to help people, you have to understand people. And in order to understand people, you have to understand yourself. And that’s really how I began to discover my own, passion.

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Your Childhood Has Clues on Your Passion

Myrna: Yeah, that’s a good story. So you, went back and looked into your childhood. Did you get into a lot of trouble? Is that the reason why you were reflecting on your childhood?

Billy: Yes, quite a bit of trouble. Not anything criminal or anything like that, but just just random childhood shenanigans. The leadership part, I’ve actually been a natural leader, and my oldest son is a natural leader. But from the job perspective on how that leadership manifests from speaking to leaders and helping guide them on how to interact with their teams, to the job aspect of it, really, the job is a construct.

So when looked at, fire your job, it’s does not specifically mean go in and, quit your job, so that you can start working and making money in your, passion. It isn’t about firing the job like modalities that many of us hold on to either. Fire your job, means fire your job like mentality so you can discover your, passion.

Myrna: Okay, that’s good. Yes. Because, one of my first books that I wrote was called “Minding your own business” in which I shared how to start your own business and be an entrepreneur. But what you are talking about, is the mentality, right?

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Passion for your Job

Billy: Yeah, absolutely. If you carry you into your job, and you carry you home with you. So therefore, you if you’re truly hiring your, passion, in your life, you’re carrying that, passion, into your job, and you carry that, passion, home with you, however, the identity that you have, and that’s really why our, passion, is tied to is our identity.

Myrna: You say that passion has an identity. So how do we find our identity for a, passion?

Billy: Oh, okay, so we’re gonna fast forward to a portion of the book. In the book, there’s a tool that I provide called the, passion identity tool. When I was a kid, I used to read these books that were like, choose your own adventure books, and you’d be able to read to a certain point that would give you a choice A or choice B. And based on where you went in the book, you would turn to 20 pages in or wherever the book told you to turn for the choice you made.

And that’s kind of how this, passion identity, tool works. It really flows through the basics of an activity, and it looks at it sees the priority level. So the first priority level that stops you are the non negotiable activities, the activities that you have to do. A non negotiable activity for us would be breathing, we don’t have a choice, whether or not we want to breathe, or now we require oxygen.

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Finding your passion identity

So then once we get to those core activities, we move to, passion. And really, passion, is something that is designed to fulfill us when we’re operating and interacting with our, passion, and almost acts like a fusion energy that is constantly replenishing itself as it’s being utilized.

There’s a difference between liking to do something and being, passionate, about it. I like to watch sports on TV, but I’m not overly, passionate, about it. And so, if I liked to play ball when I was a kid, part of that is what did you like about playing ball?

Did you like the team aspect?
Did you get like the adrenaline from running?
Did you like scoring the touchdown?
Did you like the strategy behind it? Because just because you like to play ball as a child doesn’t mean that playing ball is your, passion, there can be something underlying that being fulfilled that you haven’t yet connected with.

And so if it is the strategy aspect, like for me, I love things that are centered around strategy. So if I like to play ball and I’m like, thinking about how I can maneuver the ball past three players to get a touchdown, I have to be able to to break that those layers down and fill those layers back to identify that what I’m in love with is strategy, and then figure out how I can bring that strategy, whether it’s into my job or into my life in a manner that it gets the fulfillment.

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Your Passion could be your side hustle

And so a lot of times people will think that our, passion, has to align with our job. My, passion, is my profession as an analyst. I look at data all day long. But I’m not overly, passionate, about analysis and things like that. But what I am interested in is how things work. And being an analyst allows me to engage with that core.

I used to take apart toys now I take apart numbers. And so it’s being able to identify not just the activity, but what that activity is driving within you, and what is creating that resonance between you and the activity. Because then you can then take that activity and say, here’s how I’m going to apply it to this.

Myrna: I get that, it’s almost like the reason I became a life coach, because I wanted to help people understand that the mind is, very important to any kind of success. And I’ve always liked in my past, if I were to go back and say, What did I like? I always like when somebody comes to me and asked me for help us with is when a problem. I really, really enjoyed that. And I’m you know, and I am, I am a curious person. And that’s basically what you are, curious you wanted to know how things work do you hired your passion and became an Analyst.

I was thinking when you said, fire your job, meant quit your job. That’s not what you’re talking so right?

Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV – Finding your passion identity

Fire your job

Billy: No, fire your job, does not mean quitting your, job. I share that in the first chapter in the book. We look at, firing your job, as living beyond our means. I addressed living beyond our means from the perspective of financially living beyond our means, like putting ourselves in bed, being behind living pay check to pay check and all those different things.

So when I say, fire your job, I’m talking about job mentality. The way the book is written, I have four chapters that deal with what I call the layoffs. And it’s really alleviating those job, like mentalities that will inevitably drag us away or lock us into an activity that is not related to our, passion. So going back to living beyond our means, if you have bills that are due, and you’re at a, job, that you’re miserable, that the bills are still going to be due.

So you’ll make decisions and sacrifices to stay in that, job. Even though you know it’s toxic and it’s not healthy for you, you’ll stay in it. You’ll stay in that relationship, even though you know it’s toxic and not healthy for you, you’ll stay in it. Because whatever the bill is, whatever the gain is that you need, is that important that you’ll stress yourself out and jeopardize your health and your well being to do so.

https://youtu.be/ZE8lgSvvm4c

Don’t sacrifice your passion for a job

So that’s when I say, fire your job, what I mean and once you get to that aspect of of that mindset, then you can begin to bring on the behaviors and the foundation that will allow you to, hire your passion, and truly make that a priority in your life.

Myrna: All right, well, let’s be practical, Mr. Analyst. Okay. So you’ve just described like up 90% of the population. That is, you know people, hating their jobs, but they have to stay there because they have bills to pay. So, what is your solution? We know that they’re not, passionate, help us to bridge the gap. I mean, I’m pretty sure you go into it in detail in your book. But you know, just give me the concept.

Billy: The concept would be is know your worth. I left a, job. So I was an analyst, making decent money. And this is part of the journey of writing this book, I walked away from a, job, I had not enough money in savings. I had no opportunity on the table, no offer of employment. So I wasn’t one foot here, one foot there.

Sometimes you have to fire your job and walk away

I literally walked away from a, job, and went to zero. Now, that’s not my advice for everybody. But the reason I can do that, and the reason I was able to do that freely, with really no fear was because I understood my worth. I knew what my value was in the marketplace. That’s the benefit of being an analyst. You know how to analyze numbers and see the value and it’s like, hey, this skill set is valuable, I can market this anywhere.

I went like a month without a, job. But a month later, I had a, job, and I was making more money, I was in a lower cost of living environment. And since then, my financial stability has skyrocketed past where I was at when I was miserable. So practicality really what it is about is knowing your worth once you understand what your value is, you will not allow yourself to offer it at a discount.

I want to live this, passion driven lifestyle. And so I don’t turn off that inspiring voice, that leadership voice that guide that nurture that mentoring. I don’t turn that off. When I’m doing analytical things. I incorporate them into what I’m doing. When I go to work I bring that, passion, with me. When I leave work I bring that, passion, with me so my, passion, is always with me.

Myrna: I understand your, passion, is to help people or to mentor them or to support them. What do you want readers to walk away with it from after reading your book?

Fire your job, hire your passion

Billy: I would love to have readers walk away with is almost like a custom experience is hearing stories, not just my stories in my experiences, stories from other people as well. And those stories igniting reflection in themselves about their experiences and their journeys and their successes and their failures. Because I feel like that’s what inspires belief in the fact that we can truly lead with our, passion.

I would really love to see leaders or readers to leave with is that level of confidence that while I’ve gone through some things, whether you’re 18 years old, or you’re 70 years old, I’ve gone through some things, and I’ve come out stronger because of it. Now I’m going to purposely use that strength. That’s what I would like them to come out with.

From the perspective of the book, it really is broken down into sections the first section being:

The layoffs – removing behaviors that don’t serve our, passion, operate them normally as a distraction to our, passion.
The second level is, Hiring your passion. The interview section and when we start talking about the foundational things in which we can establish our, passion, upon.
Then there’s the now, which is when we start adopting it and hiring, passion, mentality things that are really going to help deal with what I perceived as The insecurity/Boehner ability of exposing something that we care about.
To being open and vulnerable.
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Conclusion

That’s for me what the book really is about. It’s about how to break down some of the constructs we may have founded our truths upon.

People can find me on all social media platforms at 1stWR O E, which is first row. And I was if you’re interested in the book, you can go to 1stwroe.com. And actually, if you subscribe to the page it will give you the access to the first chapter of the book. I tell people I’m an advocate of you should try before you buy, if you like the first chapter, you will love the book. If you do not like the first chapter, do not buy the book because it’s not a quick fix. It’s not a one size fits all fix. It is very customized to the readers experience.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/you-were-born-for-this-find-your-courage/

February 20, 2022August 20, 2022

How to Unleash The Power Within

We are connected to, divine consciousness, and so we come pre-loaded with the power of the Universe, we need to learn how to unleash, the power within.

This week on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast with coach Myrna, I interview Dr Donavan Outten, Dr Outten is going to share “How to unleash your, inner greatness, also called, the power within, so you can tap into the person God intended you to be.

Author interview Transform Your Mind Podcast

Tip of the week: Are you Desperate and Determined?

A few weeks ago, my pastor preached on the 3 D’s
Desperate, Determined and Dependent!
You see the 3 D’s require a mindset shift.
In order to, unleash power within, we must become desperate, determined and dependent. We see numerous times in the bible when God promoted and elevated people who were either desperate, determined or dependent on him for victory.
We see that every miracle begins with a desperate problem.

Esther was born with the power within

The story begins with Ahasuerus, ruler of the Persian Empire, holding a lavish banquet, initially for his court and dignitaries and afterwards for all inhabitants of the capital city, Shushan.
On the seventh day, Ahasuerus orders the queen, Vashti, to come and display her beauty before the guests by wearing only her crown. She refuses. Furious, Ahasuerus has her removed from her position and makes arrangements to choose a new queen from a selection of beautiful young women from throughout the empire.
One of these is the Jewish orphan, Esther. After the death of her parents, she was fostered by her cousin, Mordecai. She finds favor in the King’s eyes, and is crowned his new queen.
Ahasuerus appoints Haman as his viceroy. Mordecai, who sits at the palace gates, falls into Haman’s disfavor, as he refuses to bow down to him. Having discovered that Mordecai is Jewish, Haman plans to kill not just Mordecai, but all the Jews in the empire.
As the story unfolds, Esther the Jewish orphan turned queen, used her place as queen to intercede with the King; her desperation made her, unleash power within, her and risk death, because it was against the law to present herself to the King unsummoned. This was punishable by death.
Her determination, desperation and dependence on God, saved the Jews of the Persian Empire, she, unleashed, the power within.

Bio

Dr. Donavan Outten is a powerful trainer, consultant, educator and administrator with over 20 years’ experience. He is the Associate Vice President of Academic Affairs at Webster University.
Dr. Outten is a published author of 2 books, one of which is our topic today. Unleash your inner greatness: A guide to overcoming obstacles and Tapping into the person God meant you to be.
Dr Outten writes books to inspire and motivate individuals to achieve greatness in their lives.
His research focuses on developing young African American Students in higher education. He has also produced seminars, lectures, classes, assessments and workshops throughout the United States and Caribbean.
Dr. Outten earned his Doctorate degree in Educational Leadership from Nova.
Southeastern University, his Masters in Human Resource Development & Administration from Barry University and Bachelors in Psychology from Bethune Cookman University.

Unleashing the power within

Question 1. I know that unleashing our, inner greatness, our, the power within, is your space. Can you tell our audience what does it mean to, Unleash our, Inner Greatness,” and a little of why you chose this topic as the subject of your book.

Question 2. So what are some of the obstacles to unleashing, the power within?

Most children today are taught not to question authority, so they go about their lives always looking for someone to direct them and never focusing on their inner strength or, power within.

Question 3. Where does the power within, come from?

We are connected to source energy. If you take a droplet of water from the ocean, it has the same properties as the entire body of the ocean. Similarly we came from God or source, so we have the same powers. We just need to, unleash, the power within.

Question 4. How does an individual muster up enough strength to have such strong determination to finish a task or overcome a devastating life situation?

• Where do they find the courage to stand up for what they believe in or battle back from a medical condition that almost took their life?

• How does one leave a secure job to start a business that they are passionate about?

• What is the secret to obtaining determination and maintaining it over a period of time?
• What kinds of people have it, and what is determination?

Determination unlocks your inner greatness

Dr Outten says, “In my heart, I truly believe that determination is having the will to move forward in spite of what obstacle, barrier, or difficulty you might be facing. It is looking adversity in the face and not backing down, but pushing forward with tenacity and unleash, the power within.

He feels that Self-determination starts on the inside. It is first a thought or a belief that you can or will succeed no matter the problem you have to face. You believe in yourself even when no one else does. That spells confidence, character, and courage.

Question 5. What are some other obstacles to unleashing our, inner greatness?

Resilience: The path toward nurturing a, resilient mindset, and lifestyle is a road
that should not be taken lightly. This path has many bumps, twists, turns, and potholes
and is never straightforward. The road often contains obstacles and detours
that interfere with reaching your destination.

Passion: Your passion does not usually appear overnight. It has been dwelling
inside you for a long time. As a child, what were you passionate about? As a
teenager, what were you passionate about? As a young adult, what were you
passionate about? Often times, you will identify a pattern in what you are
passionate about. It is up to you to identify what it is and go after it.
When turning your, passion into profit, you have to be careful and work smarter,
not harder. You will run into a lot of obstacles and need to face your fears, as
things probably won’t go as smoothly as you’d like them to go. It’s all a part of
the journey.

Destiny: Destiny can be referred to as a predetermined course of events. It may
be conceived as a predetermined future, whether in general or of an individual.
What you perceive your future to be will come to pass if you work for it, believe
in it, and live your life towards it.
What you have today does not reflect what you will obtain tomorrow. If you have
the capability of looking into your future and seeing what lies ahead, then all you
have to do is work towards your goal.
Walking towards your destiny is no easy task because you will have obstacles and
hurdles along the way. There will be road blocks that will make you think that
you are going down the wrong path, but you will need to have patience,
endurance, and faith. Your faith will play a big part in finding and fulfilling your
destiny; you will need to seek guidance from God and, unleash power within.

Question 6. I know that you work predominately with the African American youth. What advice would you give them on being determined and staying the course?
You have to better than good, you have to be great.
You have to work twice as hard for the same opportunity as your white counterparts.

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Transform Your Mind with coach Myrna

Additional Resources

The Secrets to Thriving Not Just Surviving

August 5, 2021August 5, 2021

How to Cast A Stone to Defeat Your Enemy

Have you guys ever wondered why David when he was going to fight, Goliath, carefully selected five, stones, even when he knew that he only needed one, stone, to kill, Goliath? The reason was he was confident. He was confident because he knew that God was with him. It didn’t matter that he was a little person and, Goliath, was a giant. He knew that God would help him to slay that giant, like God helped him slay lions. So he knew he needed one, stone, but he carefully selected, five stones, and that’s what we’re going to be talking about today.

Bishop Anthony Banks is going to talk to us how we can, select, stones, for battle and, cast these stones. We, cast stones, so that we can too can slay the giants in our life. Like David we can, slay the enemy, that is coming towards us. Just be sure, don’t cast stones if you live in a glass house! So make sure you read or listen to end, because I never heard a message on this topic before and I have been a Christian for over 20 years. This is unique informative and content.

Listen to the Full interview Here

Bio Bishop Anthony W. Banks.

Bishop Anthony W. Banks is the associate pastor at Love and Faith Ministries of Snellville, Georgia and Director of the Christian Education. Bishop Banks is also the CEO and founder of Access for Change Community Development Corporation of Atlanta, the CEO trainer at the Change Institute of Atlanta where he provides an array of training and instruction in the area of ministry of helps to local ministries in need.

Bishop Banks is a visionary, who is committed to excellence in ministry. Banks also has a passion for reaching the lost and to make disciples for Christ who are changed for life as is going to be our topic today. Bishop is the author of the soon-to-be-released book, to Cast A Stone. So, we’re going to be talking about, casting stones. Bishop is going to explain why God gave him that message and why he wanted to share it with the world.

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What are the principles of Casting Stones

Myrna – The first question I want to ask you is what prompted you to write the book to, Cast A Stone?

Bishop Banks – Well, it was prompted out of a desire to have better understanding of reading the Bible. People usually send you to find what you need spiritually, but what I found is in my early days of reading the Bible. I didn’t really understand what the Bible was saying and so as I’ve matured and now provide training to ministers, I realized that I could make things simpler for people. So, it really was prompted out of that and as well the manuscript has been sitting on a computer for about nine-ten years.

So, I started thinking on some things and realized I need to go ahead and get this out and get it into the hands of people. The realization came about that people are missing a lot of times on what they need. We hold on so tightly to what God puts inside of us and we won’t release it out.

Miles Monroe encouraged me to write to Cast A Stone

To Cast A Stone, was born out of that and mainly I think Miles Monroe and encouraged me to get the book out. He told me that there are people who need to hear specifically from me. There are things that you’re holding as well that other people need to get and receive to make them better.

Myrna – Why this particular topic, To Cast a Stone?

Bishop Banks – Well To, Cast A Stone, has to do with the fact that in the scripture Elijah was told to go to a certain brook and he was told that at that particular brook he’ll be sustained there.

What I’ve done is in this my book, I have provided information in, to cast a stone, that will sustain people if they’ll read it. So when you go into that place, your brook, you’ll find that there are things there that will help you when you encounter life situations. It will help you to move forward at this place and become sustained by GOD. To, Cast A Stone, offers a lot of encouragement. There are some specific things in the book that speak to leaders, young people, men and women. It’s very diverse.

Okay to, cast a stone, is to go in and find it and prepare yourself to cast it.

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David Casts a Stone to Kill Goliath

Myrna – Alright, so I thought that we were talking about when David picked up, five stones, to cast and kill, Goliath, did I misunderstood that?

Bishop Banks – No, you didn’t. There’s also a part of it, David, casting a stone, is a part of the book. David, cast a stone, using his faith in God. David is an example of the faith that’s necessary to, defeat the enemy. When David picked up, five stones, he had to do that by faith because it’s just a rock and he was up against a giant. You have a certain amount of faith, and David did the work, because he had to reach and get the stone, prepare to launch it and then, cast a stone. So, no, you didn’t misunderstand.

The other part of to, Cast A Stone, speaks on Elijah at the brook, because the book is where you can go and be sustained as well. The actions that David took are the works and scripture tells us that faith without works is dead. If David had not got reached and gotten the, stones, then surely he’d have been dead. Goliath, would have killed him and fed his body to the dogs like he was threatening to do. But David did the work, he carefully chose his weapons, stones. He had the faith that God would show up and help him to kill, Goliath, with these, stones.

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Knowledge we gain from books is only power if we use it

The hardest thing for us to do sometimes is to crack the pages of a book, but it’s work that has to be done. If you don’t do that work, you’ll have it sitting right there on your table. Whether it’s the Bible or a book that someone’s written, it’ll be on your table. Everything you need is right there to slay whatever’s in front of you. It’ll sit there idle if you don’t do the work of opening and cracking it. We all have to do work, we cannot change in life without doing the physical work.

Myrna – Haven’t you heard people say knowledge is not power until you use it? But the reason I was so interested in this particular topic is why do you think when David was looking for those smooth, stones?

Bishop Banks – Of course, what was he thinking of when he selected those, stones. Let’s use the analogy for somebody right now that’s preparing to slay a giant and they are selecting their tools or their weapons in order to slay the giant. We’re not physically going into a brook or getting stoned.

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How can we use to Cast a Stone in Real Life

Myrna – So how can somebody use that information in real life?

Bishop Banks – Well, I think I would if I had to use it as an analogy. David would say that especially, spiritually speaking if you’re reaching into the word of God to find specifically what you need. David will have us to understand he had a sense of weight when it came to the, stones, he chose. Also it said he chose smooth, stones, which means there could have been some rough ones there, but he knew the trajectory that he needed right from his experience of launching them. It wasn’t going to work and so he may have used rough ones at a certain time for certain things, but he chose smooth, stones, for this giant.

I would say that even in scripture when you go into scripture, this is why the book is important because sometimes you can go in scripture and be so general on the surface. A lot of my own personal experiences also are in the book along with scripture that helped me to get through. I think that if people read the book they get in there, they’ll find that there are things that they can launch out from their experiences. If you don’t have experiences, I think when we read the Bible, we forget we check it as just a spiritual book, but those are people’s literal experiences. We have to sometimes look at exactly what they were going through and not just one verse, but exactly what led up to that.

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Use your Life experiences when choosing your Stones

You see, even with David, His experience was that of a shepherd. What I mean, he was coming to bring lunch to his brothers, he wasn’t expecting to, fight a giant, but when he got there he realized there’s something here that is against what God’s doing. So, he went and found what he needed and I say to people find what you need. People can suggest the scripture to you, but it may not fit what you need right. You have to find what you need specifically and then, cast that stone. We know that the launching part of it or the casting part of it, David had a slingshot. We have our mouth.

Life and death is in the power of the tongue, but you got to have the right words or, stones, to speak.

I would say clearly, going into the word and finding specifically the, stones, that you need to launch for the giant that you’re facing is important. I mean because you know life and death is in the tongue and we can use words as our weapons and that is what I’ve heard preached many times and which is what I also use in my life. Your words are the descriptors that you stand on, the things that you say out of your mouth is what is you’re going to launch to the enemy.

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What is the method we can use to cast a stone?

Myrna – That’s good, I get it. One of the questions I have here for you Bishop, is what is the method that we can use to, cast a stone? We talked about finding the scripture that pertains to your particular situation. What pertains to the giant that you’re fighting right now, one is scripture. So what are some of the other methods that we can use to find our, stones?

Bishop Banks – Well, I think mustering up your, faith. There’s a situation in scripture where the disciples had issues and they thought Jesus was going to do something, move something around for them. He (Jesus) said I pray that your, faith, don’t fail you, but it didn’t change the situation. The same thing that you’re going to launch out, I think with David his faith would have failed him. He never would have launched it because thought would have come into his mind that, casting a stone, was not going to kill a giant.

You’ve only got one, stone, you have had a certain amount of, faith, with that and I think faith is the key to any launching or, casting a stone. It’d be like throwing a baseball. If you’re a pitcher, you pitch the ball now you can just throw the ball anywhere and not even go near where the batter is or you can throw that thing specifically at the target at the catcher’s glove.

You see and you know if you throw it there and I think, faith, is like that. You have to launch it in the direction you want it to go and then on top of that what I said a minute ago you’ve got to be specific about where you’re throwing it. You just can’t throw it into the air and hope that something happens because, faith, doesn’t work that way. I think that’s what I would say is, faith is the key.

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How Leaders can use To Cast a Stone

Myrna – Okay, so that’s awesome. You have a book and you talk about the brook that sustained Elijah.

You talked about the, stones, that you cast, it has to be going directly to the target you’ve got.
To have faith to know that when you, cast a stone, it’s going to slay your giant or enemy

Myrna – What are some of the other things that you want the readers to walk away with in your book? I know that your ministry involves leaders, you also train ministers. You talk about them being disciples and also I’m pretty sure you talked about some of your personal stories that are in there. Now, tell us about the book. What you want people to walk away after reading the book?

Bishop Banks – Sure, I think you know the thing that I believe should happen once you read the book or come out of the book, is that you should be changed. Okay you absolutely should be changed. There’s no way you would read, to Cast A Stone, and not come out with something of substance. I know it’s substance because of my experiences that I’ve had in life that I share in the book.

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Conclusion

Myrna – Let’s talk about your ministry. I know that you mention that you teach, you teach discipleships to people, but you also have a speaking ministry. So tell us how someone can get in touch with you for speaking engagements, to help them sustain wherever they’re at, to help them, cast a stone, I mean all of that.

Bishop Banks – I do speak at leadership conferences and not just at ministries, I also can provide information to people in the business sector. When I say that I train leaders, it’s not just church leaders. I can go into any setting and speak to leaders about leading. Not only that, I can also go in there and work with teams to pull teams together. I’m really good at that and so people can reach me at my email address anthonybanks1938@gmail.com or my phone number – 770-572-0547.

I’m glad to come and help any way. I can and I’ve really been trying to help ministries to grow. I’m currently at Loving Faith Ministries. I’m glad to come and speak in any situations whether it’s young people, or older people, whatever business, it doesn’t matter. I’m open to coming to speak at those engagements or marriage. I tell you, if you can work with teams in a teen situation sure where everybody wants to go their own way, then you can definitely work with organizational leadership as far as David goes you know you need to choose the, stones, that you are going to throw at the giant.

Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes — Download on iTunes

Myrna – Once again thanks for downloading this podcast, please remember to subscribe, rate and review if you found this content inspirational. Until next time blessings.

Additional Resources

The Events in Life Work Together for Your Good

April 3, 2021April 14, 2021

Ten Characteristics of a Great Leader

An Entrepreneurial, leader, is defined as the owner manager of an organization or Business Enterprise with considerable initiative and risk. The risk and high volatility of the, entrepreneurial mindset, is the life blood of the capitalist society. Because of the high risk of failure of the, Entrepreneur, (statistics says 1 in every 10 businesses will succeed) it is of paramount importance to have an effective, Leader, at the helm.

Here are ten of the most important characteristics of the Entrepreneurial Leader:

Passionate - You must care about people above profits. People encompass the, entrepreneur, customers, employees community.
Driven - An Entrepreneurial, Leader , must be self motivating and have a burning desire to succeed
Humility - An entrepreneurial, leader, must be humble. "I believe the first test of a truly great man is in his humility". -John Ruskin Visionary
Vision - A leader, must have vision. Without vision his business will perish.

Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

"The most pathetic person is a person who has sight but no vision". -Helen Keller

Where do you see your company in 5 or 10 years? Are you able to recognize trends? Are you able to be innovative and re-inventive? If not, your company will become obsolete.

"Where there is no vision, everything will fail. Your business will fail, your marriage will fail, you will stumble in your spiritual life, your money will disappear, you will get fat and flabby and you will go no where in life!" - Peter Drucker.

The bible teaches "people without a vision, will perish". Not in the physical body but you will become spiritually dead. Vision is the blood that circulates in the, entrepreneur's, organization and keeps it alive. Pull your dreams gently out of the clouds, write them down, work with an Executive Coach to design action steps; only then it becomes a vision.

Loyalty – Loyalty to customers and employees is a must for the, leader.

"A person who deserves my loyalty receives it". - Joyce Maynard

A, leader, who has no followers is only out for a walk!

5. Loyalty is the glue that keeps your employees and customers bound to you. Reciprocate it.

6. Charismatic - A Charismatic, leader, are essentially very skilled communicators. Entrepreneurial Leader, should be verbally eloquent; but also able to communicate to followers on a deep, emotional level. They are able to articulate a compelling or captivating vision, and are able to arouse strong emotions in followers. Charisma is not a must have characteristic but a nice to have.

7. Risk taker - Entrepreneurial leaders, are risk takers since the failure rate is high. With great risks come great rewards. Nothing ventured nothing gained. An, Entrepreneurial Leadership, must take risks to win!.

8. Strength and Courage - Courage, confidence, self reliance, and persistence are the characters, leaders, needed to overcome obstacles and reach the goals in life that really matter to you and your company.

9. Spiritual strength - which includes mental and emotional strength are also important characteristics to add.

When you are able to surrender to God, and have confidence that you are on purpose; you tap into the organizing power of the Universe. The power that supports all living things, the power greater than yourself.

As goes the King goes, so does the Kingdom. Your business and your career rises and falls according to the strengths or weaknesses of its, Leader. You are the lid! A Spiritual Life and Executive Coach can help you push past limiting beliefs, and help you build that courage and confidence muscle.

10. Maverick - Mavericks are talented and truthful to the point of bluntness. Mavericks break rules, not out of spite; but because the rules don't work. They are highly goal orientated, charismatic, and will question anything and everything! Mavericks are, Leaders, who eagerly make business decisions that fly in the face of business-as-usual. They deliberately turn traditions up-side-down or shut them out altogether, looking instead for new "disruptive" ideas and creative people, and in doing so find themselves on a joyous ride to success. Steve Jobs (Apple) and Richard Branson (Virgin) are often marked as 'mavericks'.

Passionately Serving - You have to be a servant to lead effectively.

“I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” ― Albert Schweitzer

What, communication skills, are important to Entrepreneurial Leader success

Let’s talk about, leadership, and then this broaden it to a straight talk between peers. Talking straight is really a sign of respect to everyone in your life. We’ve all met people who say they call it as they see it, that is actually quite selfish. Talking straight is when you are able to base what you’re saying in fact. When you talk straight with someone, you don’t postulate, you don’t pontificate, you don’t technically tell the truth, but you kind of leave the wrong impression. No you just you say straight up what is true.

As a life coach, I would use something called the, sandwich technique, which means that you package that talk with something positive like a sandwich.

I would not advocate the, sandwich feedback method. I think it’s generally disingenuous. I think the better technique is to first declare your intent, because the moment there is suspicion about your intent, everything you do becomes tainted. So be very clear on what your intent is. Say what is uncomfortable straight, no chaser without any bogus compliments and no hidden agenda.

Additional Resources

Keep Your Vision in Front of You

15 Benefits of Hiring an Executive Coach

March 15, 2021March 19, 2021

5 Keys to Successful Self Leadership

Success in life depends on your ability for, self leadership. You may say I am not a, leader, I am not a manager or a CEO true; but, self leadership, is more important than how many people you lead in your home or place of work.

Self leadership, is the answer to how do we develop ourselves to survive and thrive in a Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, and Ambiguous world.

Self leadership, is the Critical Success Factor for individual and organizational success.

Here are 5 Essential Disciplines for Self Leadership

Discipline #1 Accountability
You must learn to take full responsibility for everything on your watch. This means that the fish stinks from the head down! A great way to do this is with, self leadership, because those who follow you are watching your, leadership.

Discipline # 2 Focus
As a, Leader, you will wear many hats. Success comes from knowing where to focus your attention. Everything is important.
Acquiring the skill of discrimination allows the, leader, to discern what is most important and least important.

Discipline # 3 Organizational self leadership

Organizational, self leadership, is the skill through which chaos is turned into order.

Discipline # 4 Innovation
As a, leader, you will begin to consciously focus your attention and discriminate where the maximum leverage is.
You will recognize the need for continual improvement and for innovation in your processes.

Discipline # 5 Communication Skills

Communication skills, are evident in how well you communicate your passion, vision, and mission to your employees, customers and self.

Here are 3 types of Communication Skills

The three primary means of communication are verbal, nonverbal, and visual.

Verbal Communication. Verbal communication depends on words to deliver meaning.
Nonverbal Communication. Nonverbal communication occurs when meaning or messages are sent or received without the use of words like body language.
Visual Communication.

Daphne Lynn Valcin is a business coach and speaker.

Daphne’s talks to us about the keys to a successful mission driven life or business.
Since 90% of startup businesses fail, Daphne believes that the quality of life and business, leadership, is at the root of success or failure.
She believes that, leadership, is about using the most effective strategies to conquer obstacles while taking consistent steps to move forward when tackling your vision, whether that vision is within the workplace, as a leader of a business or, self leadership.

Show notes:
. Daphne explains what is true, self leadership.
. What sets successful startup businesses apart from those that fail.
. How a business coach helps clients.
. What does a thriving business look like.
. What are some of the biggest mistakes companies do with their sales and marketing efforts.
. What are some of the characteristics of successful leaders.

Here are 11 strategies for effective, self leadership, from Young Entrepreneur Council:

Leadership advice from Dale Carnegie

When managing my team, I use a tactic from Dale Carnegie: Think in terms of the other person’s wants. The goal is to align a team member’s natural talents and preferences with the company’s goals. What do they want? What motivates them? What do they like to do? Then manage them to reinforce what they want and how they can achieve those things through their work.

Additional Resources

How to Set up Your Business Structure as an Entrepreneur

Introduction

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Building Trust in the Corporate World

Definition of trust

Building trust with benevolence

How can parents build trust with their children

Building trust in personal relationships

Book: Building Trust Exceptional Leadership in an uncertain world

Conclusion

Additional Resources

How to, fly like an Eagle, above the, storms of life

Eagles, in the, Storm

Storms, bring destruction

What if God created the, storm, to elevate his people?

Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, in the, storm, and you will not sink

Here are five things God wants you to do if you feel like you’re sinking in a, storm.

Leaders who went with their, gut feelings, made bad decisions

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Coaching to, Gut Instinct

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Leaders shouldn’t just use gut feelings to make decisions

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5 Questions to Ask Before Going with Your Gut Feelings

Additional Resources Never go with Your, Gut Feelings

The Master Key

4 Parts of the The Colored Brain

Here is a brief Biography of Gail Green.

Who is a Closed Communicator?

Are You also Closed Off in your personal relationships And Don’t Even Know It?

Here are 10 ways to tell if you an, open communicator, or closed off

Show Notes Open Communicator:

Bio

How An Analyst Found His Passion

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Your Childhood Has Clues on Your Passion

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Passion for your Job

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Finding your passion identity

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Conclusion

Additional Resources

Esther was born with the power within

Bio

Question 2. So what are some of the obstacles to unleashing, the power within?

Question 3. Where does the power within, come from?

Determination unlocks your inner greatness

Question 5. What are some other obstacles to unleashing our, inner greatness?

Bio Bishop Anthony W. Banks.

What are the principles of Casting Stones

Miles Monroe encouraged me to write to Cast A Stone

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David Casts a Stone to Kill Goliath

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Knowledge we gain from books is only power if we use it

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How can we use to Cast a Stone in Real Life

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Use your Life experiences when choosing your Stones

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What is the method we can use to cast a stone?

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How Leaders can use To Cast a Stone

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Conclusion

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What, communication skills, are important to Entrepreneurial Leader success

Here are 5 Essential Disciplines for Self Leadership

Discipline # 3 Organizational self leadership

Discipline # 5 Communication Skills

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