Is the Secret to Love, Sex?

How to become an open communicator

Is the secret to, Love, Sex? This week on Mindset Transformation Radio Podcast, I interview, Love Coach, James Green. James answers the question “Is, Sex, the most important factor in a relationship?

So, let me ask you. What do you think is the most important factor in a relationship? In my research for this interview. I found this article
on the secret to a long marriage. Hint it was not, Sex!

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iHeart Radio

Secret to a long Marriage not, sex 

But in all seriousness. We have heard the phrase ” A Happy wife a happy life”
Here is another article about a couple married 79 years.

“Just want you to know that you’re still the one I would choose. Still the one I give my heart to, still the one I love.”

So, what’s their secret?

“To support one another, whatever the problems may be, good or bad. Stick together. That’s about it,” Bertha said.

“You know why this lasted 79 years? She has the last word,” Dan added with a smile.

Let me introduce my guest this week:

James is a certified Love and Emotional Intelligence coach. His mission is to teach people how to love themselves as well as love each other. James specialty is Relationship and Personal Development Coaching.

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Show notes Secret to Love 

1. Question 1: Tell us of your journey to become a Love and emotional Intelligence coach. Do you have a personal story that made you specialize in this field?

I was a single parent and realized that when looking for a mate, I had to look for someone who would fit into my lifestyle as a single father. The woman had to accept me and my son as a package deal. That made me look at factors other than, Sex.

As far as my journey to becoming a Love and Emotional intelligence coach, I found I had the aptitude to reach people. People opened up to me. I remember once standing in the line at McDonald’s and this man in line started talking to me telling me his story. I decided to get my certification as a, Life Coach
2. Question 2: How does emotional intelligence fit into the relationship dynamics?
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to hear what your partner is not saying. It is the ability to realize that when your partner says Fine, I am okay with that. for example. She is not fine with that, from her tonality or her body language.
Another facet of emotional intelligence is the ability to keep your cool and not fly off the handle at the slightest provocation.

3. Question 3: What problems do find are the most common and how do you coach your clients to solve them?
I find Trust, Communication and the inability to seek out coaching until after they start experiencing problems.

Couples tend to think that coaching is not needed until there is a huge problem in their relationship and when I hear that I ask them do you also see a doctor AFTER you have Cancer?

4. Question 4: If you had a magic wand to solve common relationship problems, what would you solve?

If I had a magic wand to solve relationship problems, I would solve trust. Lack of trust is one of the most destructive elements in a relationship.

5. Question 5: When you say that relationship is not a 3-letter word, what do you mean?
The topic of our show today “Is the secret to love, Sex?”
Couples would have us believe that great sex keeps the relationship going or strong.
While sex is very important in a relationship it is not the most important factor.
I believe that communication is the most important factor.
Click the podcast link to hear from James directly as he answers this question.

6. Question 6: Why would you say that couples do not proactively seek relationship coaching and wait until there is a problem to get counselling?
Culture, conditioning. Women go to get an annual checkup every year. They get a PAP test to proactively check for any cervical problems. But this same woman would not think of going to a relationship coach to proactively check to see if her relationship is in danger of abnormal growth!

For the men I use the analogy of the oil change because men hate going to the doctor for an annual check up. But they do change their oil every 3 to 5 months. ( I had a laugh at this one. I asked James if he was suggesting men change their wife’s, as often as they change the oil in their cars?)
He assured me he was not saying that but letting the men know that just like the car engine their relationships need regular maintenance.

Tony Robbins also has lots of empowerment advice for couples.
Click the link below to understand how to create better relationships from Tony Robbins

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Transform Your Mind Amazon


If you found this episode inspirational be sure to subscribe to my podcast and I would also appreciate a rate and review.

You can also follow me on my Facebook page

If you are empowered to become a member of the Human Potential Movement and would like to be a guest on the Mindset Transformation radio show and podcast contact me.

Additional Resources

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

 

How to Fly like an Eagle above the Storms of Life

fly like an eagle

Eagles, love the storm. When clouds gather, the Eagle, get excited. The Eagle, uses the, winds of the  storm,  to lift it higher. We can also learn to, fly like an eagle, above the, storms of life.

Did you suffer from Childhood sexual abuse or sexual harassment as an adult? Today on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast, I share my journey from being sexually abused as a child and how I used the, storms of life,  to, fly like an, eagle in a storm. I teach how you too can use the winds from the, storms of life,  to elevate your life to greater heights.

In this blog, we will study the, Eagle, and how the, Eagle, looks forward to the storm, because the, eagle, knows that only by using the, winds of the storm, can she elevate to greater heights. Eagles in a storm, fly above the storm. Without the, storm, she can never fly above the clouds. Similarly, in life we need challenges, hurts and disappointments to get us out of our comfort zones and teach us to fly like,  eagles in a storm.  Without the, storms of life, we would become complacent.

 

Here are some characteristics of the Eagle:

How to, fly like an Eagle, above the, storms of life 

The crow that picks and picks at the ground, can’t rise to the heights of the eagle or is not conditioned to rise about the ground. It’s mindset is to stay on the ground and peck for food.

The, Eagle, does not escape the, storm. It simply uses the, storm, to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the, storm.

When the, storms of life, come upon us — and all of us will experience them — we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief toward God and fly above the, storms of life,  like an eagle, or we can be like the crow and peck and peck on the ground.

The, storms of life, do not have to overcome us. We can allow power of, Jesus Christ, to lift us above thw, winds of the storm. Jesus Christ,  enables us to ride the,  winds of the storm, that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. We can soar above the, storm.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Eagles, in the, Storm

1. Eagles, fly alone at high altitude and not with sparrows or with other small birds. No other bird can go to the height of the, Eagle. We can, fly like an eagle, where no others go.
2. Eagles, have strong vision. They have the ability to focus on something up to five kilometers away. When an, Eagle, sites his prey, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it. No matter the obstacle, the, Eagle, will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it. We can have vision like an, Eagle, and have focus on our goals.
3. Eagles in the storm, When clouds gather the, Eagle, get excited. The, Eagle, uses the, winds of the  storm,  to lift it higher. Once it finds the, winds of the storm, the Eagle uses the raging, storm, to lift him above the clouds. This gives the, Eagle, an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the leafs and branches of the trees. We can use the, storms of life,  to rise to greater heights. Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.

Storms, bring destruction

I meditated on the reason for the hurricanes that caused so much destruction to homes and property in the Caribbean islands, Houston, TX and Florida. I believe that God does not make mistakes, that everything in the Universe has a purpose. So, I asked myself what is the purpose of the, storm?

My initial response from the Universe was that, storms, are created with the purpose to blow down the old and make room for the new, because everything is recycled on this earth. But I felt there was more so that is why I decided to study the, Eagle. As mentioned before. The ,Eagle, uses the, storm, to elevate him higher. He can’t fly to great heights without the winds of the storm.

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What if God created the, storm, to elevate his people?

The, storm, does not only blow down old trees, it blows down old houses as well, it blows down old power posts and power lines. So, in actuality we should be like the eagle and anxiously await the storm to see what old thing will be renewed.

It works for old relationships as well. There is something immensely intimate about riding out the, storm, with your loved one. Just you and your close family members. All the attention is on each other. No television, no lights just the personal connection and candle light!

I have always loved, storms. I remember the first, storm, that me and my husband rode out together. We were only dating for about 3 months. I loved the rain on the roof, the sounds of the winds rustling the roof, the sight of the palm trees blowing in the winds and being wrapped up in his arms. I think we came out of that experience closer than we went in. That is a time to really talk and share! Get to know each other.

The other thing the, storm, to the Caribbean Islands brings is new things to replace the old. If you had an old roof and the wind blew if off, guess what FEMA will give you a new one. If your pool screens were old and the wind just ripped them apart more then guess what you get new screens at no cost to you. If your old car was on its last leg, then you could park it under a tree and pray the tree falls on it! You get my point.

How you experience anything depends on how you interpret it. Change your mindset that the, storm, comes to take from you and replace it with the winds of the storm brings change. Changing out the old for the new.

Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, in the, storm, and you will not sink

But I still think there is more!
The bible teaches us to keep our eyes on, Jesus Christ, when we are in the, storm.
There was a time when Jesus had sent his disciples to go on before him while he stayed in the mountain to pray (Matthew 14:23).
While they were in the boat there came a, storm, “and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.”- Matthew 14:24

Seeing the distress his disciples were in, Jesus Christ, went to them, walking on water. When Peter saw, Jesus Cjrist, he asked him to allow him to come to him, by walking on the water. Peter started to walk on with his faith however, when Peter reached at a certain distance he got distracted, and when he got distracted by the boisterous wind he became afraid and started to sink.

“But when [Peter] saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” (Matthew 14:30 NIV)

Many of us are like Peter, we started our journey with the Lord and even though the, storms of life, come our, faith, allows us to overcome these trials, you could say to ‘walk on water’. But along the way we get distracted especially when we think the situation has gone on for too long, or we come upon big, storm. I am using the, storm, here as a metaphor for trouble. It was easy to trust God when our trials were little; but what happens when the situations seem bigger than we are able to handle? What happens when we have a category 4 storm? Do we let fear in? Or do we anticipate it with the mindset that it will elevate us to new heights?

Focusing on what’s happening around us will cause us to be afraid; afraid of losing our family, losing our jobs, our homes, or being broke and not having enough to take care of our needs. We start worrying about what is going to happen next and very soon we start to sink.

The,  storm, also bring with it floods. The water could be more dangerous than the winds.
With Irma, I was going to ride out the, storm, in my home because my house is built to withstand the winds; but as soon as they started talking about 10-15 ft. storm surges. I called my husband and said we are leaving now! I was afraid of my car being under water and I pictured me on the roof waiting to be rescued. So, I understand fear!

Joel Osteen had a message about flood waters he used the analogy of your water breaking during childbirth. That flood there signals new birth as is regarded with excitement. He also reminded us that we never know when that flood is going come. His wife Victoria water broke when she was in an elevator going somewhere that was not the hospital! It is all about perception. Ask yourself what is the good that can come out of the house and car being flooded? You get new ones of course ! Usually the insurance pays!

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

Here are five things God wants you to do if you feel like you’re sinking in a, storm.

1. Keep your eyes on, Jesus Christ, and stay focus.
The moment you take your eyes off the Lord, you will go under. When you focus on the wind and the waves — your circumstances — you’re going to sink, just like Peter. There will be many things happening in the world to get you distracted. Economies going under, crime and violence on the rise, people losing their jobs, accidents on the rise and so forth. These things will get you distress. Jesus Christ,  tells us that when we see these things happening, that is not the time to get sidetracked, but it is the time to look up (Luke 21:28.)

2. Do not be fearful, Jesus is with you in the, storm.
When you’re in a, storm, it is very easy to become fearful, fearful that you will not get rid of a sickness, fearful that your marriage will end, fearful that your child will die, fearful that you will not be able to pay off your debts or bills and still have enough money to survive. But when fear comes, and it will come, take authority over it and stand on the promises of God that he will always be with you. Fear comes with torment and that’s why Jesus gives us peace (John 14:27). Peace that will help you to ride out your storms.

3. Don’t let go of, faith.
Faith, is like our heavenly currency that we use to draw what we need from the spiritual realm. When you maintain your faith you will receive strength to weather the, storms of life.

4. Don’t doubt.
You don’t need great, faith, to make it through the, storms of life. You just need faith in the right person, that is, Jesus Christ. Peter started to sink when he started to doubt.

Maybe you could benefit from a Training Kit that teaches you how to Maximize your achievement and Fly above the storms. Click below to order The Maximum Achievement Training Kit from best selling author Brian Tracy.

5. Praise God.
Praise is a weapon, a very powerful one. It confuses the enemy as he cannot understand how you able facing your storms but will have a praise. When Jehoshaphat was facing a large army, he did not use swords to fight his battle, he just praised God and his enemies were totally destroyed. Even in the storm, even when you feel like you’re sinking, even when you’re scared to death — praise him all the time.

Additional Resources

Life Leadership & Success

http://blog.myhelps.us/principle-2-the-events-in-your-life-whether-good-or-bad-work-together-for-good/

 

 

How to Ask for a Raise or Anything you Want in Life.

How to, ask for a raise, a promotion, God for something, a Guy out. How to Ask for Affection or anything else you want in life.

A few weeks ago I started reading this book “The game of life and how to play” By Florence Scovel Shinn.  The title of the book caught my attention, because I have a chapter in my book Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement  called How to become a Player in the Game of life and I have a podcast episode entitled “How to win the game of life.”

So you see this topic is close to my heart.

So I started reading. The content wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before, just said in a different way. For example I am a Christian and a follower of the teaching of Jesus Christ. I have read books, listened to visionaries, my pastor and numerous other men of God quote this scripture Ask and you shall receive, knock and the door will be opened to you, seek and you shall find.  I know this, I believe this; but I had never heard said like this. “You have to make the first move”

Talk about dumbing it down!

My immediate reference was, making the first move if you want a man instead of waiting on him. How many times you just waited and waited for a man to call you or ask you out and he never made the first move and that was the end of your dream of this guy.  If you had picked up the phone and asked him out, you would have received what you wanted. Or at least you would know for sure he was not interested.

So I decided to, Ask for a raise, from God.

This is how I, asked God for a raise,  “God you are my supply. Let everything that is mine by divine right be manifested now. I ask you for a lead, I am knocking at the door, let who I seek be seeking me. Amen”

I made the first move I, asked for a raise,

And God answered immediately!

The very next day I woke up at 5 am and decided to scan my Facebook feed. I don’t normally do this but I followed inspiration and did this day. I am a Realtor and a Life Coach. The day before I had marketed on my Facebook page a 12 unit multifamily commercial property. As you know Facebook algorithm records everything you post and like.

So at the top of my feed was this video of a sponsored Ad about a guy talking about how he has made $200,000,000 in four years by buying multifamily properties all over the country. I decided to comment on the post that I had a great price on this 12 unit multifamily unit in Fort Myers and asked if he invests in Florida? Not only did he respond that he is only interested in multifamily properties with over 100 units; but 5 other people responded to me for info on this deal! I only asked God for one lead! He sent me 6.

Then I got an inquiry from my original marketing post. This prospect had the most serious interest and ending up making an offer of $910,000!

Bang that is how it is done!

God is good when? All the time!!! you just need to know how to engage with God and the universal laws he has put in place.

One is these laws is, Ask and you shall receive, seek and you will find, know and the door will be opened to you.  In other words, you need to make the first move!

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How to, Ask for a Raise, or anything else you want in life eg:

  • How to Ask God for something,
  • How to ask your boss for a raise or a promotion,
  • How to ask a guy out
  • How to Ask for Affection
  1. How to, ask for a raise,or more money

A situation of lack can be changed to prosperity by changing your mindset.

If you concentrate on what you don’t have you will attract more of what you don’t have – Lack

Instead be grateful for what you have and bless it.

You can bless your pennies and have it multiplied.

The most powerful miracle in the Bible is Jesus blessing 5 loafs of bread and 5 fish and turning them into enough food to feed thousands of people with left overs.

That is a principle Jesus was demonstrating; Give thanks for what you have,  bless it and it will yield more.

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iHeart Radio

Here is How to, Ask for a raise, or more money

Pray this prayer

Father I thank you for food on the table a roof over my head and health in my body.

I bless the pennies in my bank account and ask that you multiply them.

I, ask for a raise, in my job because  I give wonderful service and I deserve  wonderful pay.

Bless, and then follow your intuition. God will send you instructions on your next move.

I shared earlier how I acted on intuition and raised my pay with a Hugh real estate deal.

Never dismiss a hunch, it leads you to your divine right.

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TuneIn Radio
  1. How to, Ask or a Promotion

Adding to the last ask, Ask for a promotion, follows the law of increase because a promotion usually comes with a raise.

So the only thing I would add is faith that the promotion is yours by divine right.

Pray this prayer

Infinite spirit open the way for abundance I am a magnet for all that belongs to me by divine right. Amen

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher
  1. How, to Ask a Guy out

People like people who are most like them.

Whatever man images sooner or later externalizes in his affairs. If you like a guy before you, Ask a guy out, do the internal work so when you, Ask a guy out, he will likely say yes.

Imagine the two of you on a date, talking and laughing, and connecting.

Say “Infinite spirit open the way for the divine design of my life to manifest. The perfect plan includes love and perfect self expression.”

Then, Ask the guy out, to go to some where he likes, a ball game, dinner, a movie, networking event etc.

How, to Ask for affection, from your spouse

Love opens to man the 4th dimensional world. The world of the wondrous, the world of bliss.

  • Real love is unselfish and free from fear.
  • It pours itself out on the object of its affection without demanding any return.
  • It’s joy is in the joy of giving and serving.

If the object of your affection does not return affection, it may be that he grew up in a home where he did not see his father show love to his mother or there was not a man in the home.

So you have to, Ask for affection,  if you need it.

Just say “Can I get a hug?  The world is so much brighter when I am in your arms.”

In my second marriage my husband and I made a habit of fighting and me sleeping in the spare bedroom.

One of these fights lasted over a month and I was intensely aware of how much I needed a hug or just human touch.

If you are in such a relationship where there is little touch and you need it, ask for affection,

Say “Baby can you hold me for few mins.  I am feeling the need for your touch”

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Podbean

Love is God in manifestation and the strongest magnetic force in the universe; so don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and, ask for affection,

It draws itself to its own. Protect your love by giving and receiving affection.

Remember Jealously is the worst enemy of love.

Give a perfect love and you will receive a perfect love.

How to, Ask for Help, or a Hand Up

I know most people have a hard time, ask for help,  yet some people always have a hand out.

Practice asking for small things first to get comfortable, asking for help,

For example, practice asking your teacher to help with something you don’t understand.

This question came from Erika by email.  Remember you can post your questions on this blog , on my facebook group called Life Coach, or you can email either me or Arifah. My email is info@myhelps.us and Arifah is Arifah@liftedbypurpsose.com. 

Erika asks “How do I show a guy that I like him?”

  • Pay attention to your appearance – show a little skin. I was watching this movie just a few days ago and I learned a few things from a playboy bunny. She said to show skin in 5 areas if you want to catch a man’s attention. Show cleavage, bear arms, legs, belly or mid-section and your derriere.
  • Show him how you feel with your body language.– I am a romantic movie buff. I love how the director shows that there is interest in his main characters.  Always eye contact and a smile. It heats up the screen! Miss Playboy Bunny added lightly touch him. Touch his arms, feel his muscles, brush up against him.
  • Compliment him.– This one comes so naturally to me.  I learned a long time ago to always bless everyone I meet with a compliment. Man or woman.
  • As we wrap up, I want to thank you for being with us until the end of this broadcast. Please show your support by posting a review on iTunes and subscribing to the podcast. If you have topics you would like Arifah and myself to cover,

Lifted by Purpose Provides a diverse range of services to organizations seeking training, workshops or programs with the intent to engage youth in conversations about mental health and learn practical strategies to cope with life stressors. Including:

  • Anger Management
  • Healthy Relationships
  • Mental Health Education and Coping Skills
  • Youth Engagement and
  • Mental Health First Aid Training

Sponsor this podcast: 

  • Todays episode is sponsored by  Columbus Financial Coach.  Are you in a deep hole of “Financial Depression” with nowhere to turn for help? Constantly being harassed by collection agencies? Then visit Columbus Financial and success coach. www.columbusfinancialcoach.com

 Additional Resources:

Ask Coach Myrna: How to Start Over?

5 Questions to Ask Before Going with Your Gut Feelings

gut feelings

Never go with your, gut feelings, because what is true is that your gut, intuition, is often going to be lying to you.  Just like people who are depressed and anxious feel that there’s something to be said about, gut feelings, when there’s not, and feel there’s a threat when there is not. Instead use  counter intuitive strategies to make decisions.

In this episode of the Transform your Mind to Transform your Life podcast, I interview Dr Gleb Tsipursky, Cognitive Neuroscientist and Behavioral Economist and author of the book “Never Go With Your Gut: How Pioneering Leaders Make the Best Decisions and Avoid Business Disasters.” 

What was your path in becoming a Cognitive Neuroscientist?

I was 18 in 1999 when the Prince song party like it’s 1999 was Hot. A lot of leaders were partying because their companies were going boom they were making a lot of a lot of money.  Billions of dollars were invested into  the dot.com industry, and just a couple of years later when I was 21 in 2002, they all went bust. The leaders of the dot.com era made terrible decisions. They trusted their, Gut feelings, and went bust! That and the fact I saw my father trust his, gut feelings, and made terrible decisions, made me study to become a Cognitive Neuroscientist.

Leaders who went with their, gut feelings, made bad decisions

A lot of  Leaders who went with, gut feelings, went to jail.  Their, gut instincts, were way off. Never trust just your, gut feelings.  I was curious about what was going on, so I decided to study the neuroscience of the brain and how people think. I became a Trainer, Consultant, and Coach for business leaders.

Cognitive neuroscience,  is a subfield of neuroscience that studies the biological processes that underlie human cognition, especially in regards to the relation between brain structures, activity and cognitive functions. The purpose of it is to determine how the brain functions and achieves performance.is the study of how our brain works, how we make decisions and what our patterns of decision-making are.  I also studied the specific judgment errors that we make when we make decisions purely from, gut feelings.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

One of the first things I wanted to know because as a, Lifecoach myself, when I sit down in a coaching session, I’m looking for certain things in order for me to understand where my clients are coming from.  As a cognitive neuroscientist and behavioral economist, what are you looking for when you were consulting with these business leaders?

Coaching to, Gut Instinct

The first thing I’m looking for is to make sure the person is coachable.  A lot of people would like to go to a coach, but they’re not coachable.  Meaning that they’re not willing to listen to external feedback and accept that sometimes, someone looking from the outside is going to be wiser than the person looking from the inside and making those, gut feeling,  decisions.

I also try to find an issue of disagreement and in the first session, to see how the person reacts to this disagreement.  Because if this person’s is not able to deal with this disagreement, then we’re not going to be able to have an effective coaching relationship. Because as a coach  I’m going to tell you what I think, and if you can’t accept feedback,  we can’t work together and I’d like to discover that as quickly as possible.

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The other thing that I look for at the start of the session is how emotionally aware this person is.  That’s the quality of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence refers to two broad skill sets:

  • emotional awareness – where is this person emotions
  • and emotional management – how are they able to manage their emotions.

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It is really an important element for me to understand.  Do I need to teach this person these skills of emotional intelligence, personal skills, emotional awareness and emotional management? Because in order to make good decisions, instead of going with, gut feelings,  we need to realize that our emotions are the overwhelming factor driving our, gut intuition and, gut instinct.  Our emotions shape about 80 to 90 percent of our, gut feelings, and  decision-making.  Going with your, gut feelings, means going with your, gut instinct intuition,  and they’re often wrong, so this is a problem.

When my clients notice that there are goals they want to achieve from coaching are at odds with their natural inclinations and natural intuition, they change their natural state.  One of the very important aspects of coaching, is to change your natural state of activities otherwise there is no point in coaching.

One key aspect of coaching, is to change from where you are today to where you want to be

I’m looking for that as well how aware is the person of their emotions and how able are they to manage their emotions and, gut feelings.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
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Leaders shouldn’t just use gut feelings to make decisions

As a Cognitive Neuroscientist and Behavioral Economist, you had enough data to write a book on disaster avoidance and that’s also name of your company.  Does your research indicate that most people who follow their, gut feelings, or, gut instinct, make the wrong decisions?

Yes, overwhelmingly people who just go with their, gut feelings, and make decisions by, gut reaction, as opposed to people who check with their heads before going with their, gut feelings, make the wrong decisions.

Let’s look at small businesses.  A lot of small business owners who don’t have training go with their, gut feeling, and open up a business. They feel that they can do this job, I can do this work.  I can run this restaurant or this hair salon or I can be a plumber. But when you look at the actual statistics,  what happens to small businesses is about half of them fail within the first five years,  about two-thirds of them fail within the first ten years;  because people make decisions based on, gut feelings.  They just go with their, gut instincts,  they don’t check with their head before going with their,  gut feeling. Never just go with your, gut feelings.

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Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

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5 Questions to Ask Before Going with Your Gut Feelings

That business leader this who wants to open up a hair salon needs to learn about these, cognitive biases,  the 30 most dangerous ones that she might be suffering from

I list them all in my book “Never Go With Your Gut: How Pioneering Leaders Make the Best Decisions and Avoid Business Disasters.” 

I will list 5 of them here.

  1. The Confirmation Bias – where she might be looking for information from, gut feelings, that confirms her beliefs and ignoring information that do not confirm her beliefs.
  2. Objective Adviser – Understanding the failure rate for hair salons. The failure rate for hair salons are a  little bit higher than the failure rate for typical small businesses,  so the first question to answer is why she would not fail. What makes her so special ? Never go with just, gut feelings.
  3. Get uncomfortable – Look for information that is uncomfortable and that to prove to herself whether this is the right decision or not.
  4. Check for the optimism bias. Business leaders who open up new restaurants, new salon or new small businesses tech startups tend to be very optimistic. They are too optimistic compared to the reality of the situation.
  5. Exit strategy if Business fails – what are all the reasons why it would fail.  Was it the wrong location? Management etc?

    Additional Resources Never go with Your, Gut Feelings

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5V3QWa9WdzQ

 

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/

 

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-top-7-reasons-meditation-can-help-your-business-increase-revenues/

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-brain-gut-connection

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/gut-second-brain/

https://lonerwolf.com/gut-instincts/

4 Life Hacks that will Motivate your Teams

life hacks teams

Everyone is different. We developed a system to measure and define the brains Ambiguity Relief Process, these, life hacks, is called the Colored Brain.

My guest today is Arthur Carmazzi, best selling author of “The 6 Dimensions of Top Achievers” Arthur talks about, life hacks, from his work with the, Colored brain. The Colored Brain analysis is use as a method to motivate teams and leaders.

Colored Brain Life Hacks

I started doing research on the different personalities decades ago, I found out that personality it’s too complicated and can’t be accurate with so many complicated variables. So I started looking into elements of why people are mis-communicating, why people are frustrated, why people lose
trust, and so I found some genetic foundations or, life hacks, I found out why are people motivated and why they become unmotivated. I found out some of the factors or the mind-body connection.

After about a little over a year of research, I started to apply some of these ideas and, life hacks, that later became known as the Directive Communication Psychology body of work. This Psychology ended up saving the company I was working for at the time, about seventeen thousand dollars a week in wasteful work.

After that I started writing articles and then I got on the radio and TV. So I quit my job and started on the road to becoming a top Global Thought Leader in organizational culture specializing in, life hacks,

I started to open franchises in 2005, we now have like over 400 licensed Directed Communications Psychology trainers and coaches in 18 different countries.

The Master Key

We created systems! We can call it the combination to the lock.

The Master key for the lock is a something called Modeling.

Modeling is basically all the modalities. Everyone operates from a different system. Let’s take for example somebody like Richard Branson. Richard has a very chaotic process of achieving things. The way that he interprets information is different from most. The way that he acts on information is very different from for example the late Steve Jobs.

Steve Jobs isn’t a serial entrepreneur. Richard has what we call Chaotic Processor. If I tried to model Steve Jobs to create a Richard Branson, I would fail because Steve Jobs does not have the same brain process, he doesn’t interpret information the same as Richard Branson. Therefore I would not succeed by trying to model him. This is where, life hacks, come into play.

We’re all different, we all process information differently. We all have a different digestive system, different fingerprints. There’s no two people alike.

We developed a system to measure and define the brains ambiguity relief process, we call this this system, The Colored Brain,.

The colored Brain, basically segments the different processes into individual clarity getting processes.

This has nothing to do with personality; this is how your brain gets clarity. We use, life hacks, to get this clarity. There are different processes that your brain gets clarity from and it’s based on specific lengths of specific genes and specific parts of your brain that release neurotransmitters or regulate neurotransmitters.

If we go to organizational culture, one of the primary breakdowns in organizational culture, is the lack of trust and respect for management. This is because everyone is processing information differently and don’t trust anyone who does not think like them.

4 Parts of the The Colored Brain

Chaotic processing or Green brain – In the, Green brain, literally nothing is connected and because nothing is connected what happens is it will go anywhere. The, Green Brain, can create something from nothing. It gets a little bit of information and immediately goes running. In order to get clarity the, Green brain, will start to take action. Other people are freaking out and the, Green Brain, people are already doing it. People will say they’re just so impulsive, jumping into stuff without really knowing or checking it out first. In fact, Green brains, make the most of the mistakes of any other brain color; but they also recover faster from mistakes of any other brain color. They get clarity through action.
Relational testing or Purple brain – For the Purple brain, everything is related and everything is connected. Purple brain, need to get information now. It’s important to know all about the details and the information. Everything is connected, so the moment that they get information, they put it in kind of a database. That automatically starts to connect to everything else, and so what happens is that the more information and the more details they get, the more options they have.

Once they feel that they have clear options, they can then go ahead and choose an option and move on from there. That is how they create their, life hack, for processes. If they’re wrong they still have other options and maybe they might get a little more information. These Purple brain, people oftentimes take a long time to get all of this information and all of these details. People sometimes misunderstand them and think they’re slow or they’re not efficient. These Purple brain, people are actually quite good at creating systems because everything is connected. They create, life hacks, that works for their clarity.
Linear processing or Red brain – Red brains, need structure. They look for structure in order to work. If there isn’t any structure in place, what ends up happening is they start to create it and sometimes it’s a little bit frustrating to others on the team. They want to know, what is the first step? What is the second step and so on. People may think this person is an idiot and he doesn’t know what he’s doing and so there’s judgments, lack of trust and lack of respect. Because, Red brains, get clarity through structure it’s an active process. So they create this kind of logical process or, life hack, that affects their ability to connect with people.
Intuitive processing or Blue brain – Intuition is not some woo woo thing that the Universe gives you. Intuition is actually a part of your unconscious experience. You’ve got all of these things that have happened to you and have happened around you that you haven’t been noticing; but your subconscious notices and records everything. Blue brains pick up on stuff very easily because of this, life hack, They pick up on what’s going on around them, they’re quite empathetic to the feelings of others. They often times they end up taking on other people’s problems as their own. Multitasking is much easier for Blue brain, than it is for the other colors.

The colored brain, is a genetic foundation and that doesn’t change. We started talking about keys and the master key. If you understand your colored brain, you understand your primary motivators. These, life hacks, will motivate your teams because you will understand and cater to how everyone processes information. Every motivator basically is connected to a behavior. You can customize it accordingly with mini Gamified processes that will constantly motivate your teams.

Additional Resources
https://neilpatel.com/blog/be-an-effective-leader/
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-use-the-universal-law-of-action-to-achieve-success-in-life/
http://blog.myhelps.us/the-secret-to-having-it-all/
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www.youtube.com/carmazzitvhttp://www.youtube.com/carmazzitv

The Path to Self-Mastery

How does professional sports equip us for, self-mastery? Pro golfer Thane Marcus Ringler, Life coach and Author shares the path to, self-mastery.

In the guest chair today is Thane Marcus Ringler, a former pro golfer turned writer, speaker, collaborator, and entrepreneur and author of the new book “From Here to There – A Quarter-Life Perspective on the Path to, Mastery,”

After competing for nearly four years as a professional golfer, he transitioned out of the world of golf into his new endeavors as coach.
Can you share your journey to becoming a professional golfer and how it marries to your life today as a coach, collaborator and podcaster. There must be a story in there why you actually give up golf, love to hear it.

Journey to self-mastery

My journey like everyone’s life and path is a journey. Journeys take lots of time and usually involve lots of failure and mine is no doubt the same. I started playing golf when I was really young. My dad got me into it and I really enjoyed playing. I was a competitive kid so anything with competition in sports I was in.

In golf, there wasn’t anyone else responsible for your successes. Your path to, self-mastery, depends on only you. I felt like I had the most control in my success. As I progressed it became clear it was something that I could really build. My focus kind of narrowed on golf in high school. I started dropping other sports so that I could really focus on golf. I ended up playing in college at Masters University in California. I worked on, self-mastery, for four years in college.

It was clear that I had the skills to be a professional golfer. So, I decided to give it a shot. In my senior year, I created the business plan and the structure around getting the financing to play professional golf. I got 10 to 11 sponsors and investors to back me. So, when I graduated, I was able to turn professional right away, upon leaving college in May of 2014. That kind of kicked off my four-year journey of playing professional golf.

Professional Golf teaches mastery

It takes a professional golfer about 10 years to get from, here to there, there being the PGA tour, and to self-mastery, the ultimate goal for every professional golfer. It’s not an overnight thing. There’re the people that you know, Tiger Woods, Jordan Spieth and Phil Mickelson and the 1% of the 1% the superstars. Everyone else it takes an average of 10 years to get from, here to there, and to, self-mastery,

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My first year was a lot of failure, and a lot of learning. It was this process of development and, self-mastery, the process of learning how to develop and grow as a human very much at the same time.

As a golfer I started to learn to grow and improve and see some slow signs of growth and success. About two years into the journey after I’ve gotten partial status, I started to face a systemic injury which started in 2016. It was a muscle strain in my back. Many different factors combined and that kicked off about a year-and-a-half journey of failing to rehab correctly, failure of treating the symptom versus the injury. When I did reach the end of those first three and a half years, it became clear that my body wasn’t 100 % healed.

But the bigger thing that happened was at my desires and giftings and abilities had kind of shown a different purpose. I felt more called to coach, so I made the decision this last December to transition out of Golf.

Finding true purpose

I truly believe what I’m doing now is my purpose. I believe that golf equipped me for my true purpose. I think that the journey of professional golf was a hyper-focused form of personal development and, self-mastery, because golf again is an arena where at the end of the day you have to take 100% ownership of your career, your life and your success because there’s no one to blame but yourself if you don’t succeed.

There are no coaches, there’s no teammates, there’s no referee, there’s no other external factors that you can blame for winning or losing. You have to take that ownership upon yourself. So, it really it forced me to leave no stone unturned in figuring out how to optimize and to, self-mastery, create the best form of myself as a competitor and as a golfer. You can’t control outcomes, but you can control your preparation and, self-mastery, of the game.

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I never planned on being at this place where I am now, as a speaker and a writer and entrepreneur. All these things manifested because I was faithful to do the best that I could. In golf I left no stone unturned, and it has equipped me for his work. If I hadn’t been faithful to do that then I wouldn’t be ready. Golf allowed me to get, from here to there, and to, self-mastery,

There’s a really good book called “The talent code” by Daniel Coyle and he teaches whether you’re coaching soccer or teaching a child to play the piano, writing a novel or trying to improve your golf swing, this revolutionary book shows you how to grow talent by tapping into a newly discovered brain mechanism. He feels that just because you have the talent doesn’t mean
it will be nurtured to the level of, self-mastery, its deep work and deep practice to really develop skill, competence and, self-mastery, in any field it’s always a combination of nature and nurture.

Download on iTunes

Conclusion

Follow Myrna on Instagram, twitter, Facebook,

I think the mindset of a professional athlete is one that is competitive but not just competitive it’s also inspired. I think having clarity is really important as well. As an athlete you get objective feedback of win or lose, so you can figure out how to get, from here to there, and to, self- mastery, I think the same is true about having a vision. You have a goal you are striving for and you get feedback from whether you are successful or not.


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What is your quarter life perspective on, self- mastery.
I give a lot of credit for this title to my grandpa. When I was writing this book, he was an influential voice in my head and life.

To listen to Thane’s Quarter life perspective on, self-mastery, Download the rest of this inspiring interview on iTunes, Google play, Stitcher, Podbean, and iHeart radio,

Additional resources:
https://www.thanemarcus.com/who/
The path to Mastery
the-quest-for-purpose-six-holistic-ways-finding-purpose/
http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-flow-with-desire/

Keep Your Vision in Front of You

Keep your vision clear

Keep Your, Vision,  in Front of you – Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.

In OUT OF THE SNARES, MYRNA BERNADETTE TROTMAN shares her story of child abuse, poverty and her success as an entrepreneur. As a certified, Life Coach, she shares ten undeniable resources she used to help her achieve success and live the American Dream. This inspirational and motivational book will help you to reach your potential and achieve new levels of success in your life. Get these ten principles based on biblical principles and Universal Laws, deep down in your spirit and boldly go in the direction of your destiny:

Principle # 1. Keep Your Vision in Front of you

Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of, vision casting.

Like a Blacksmith, you need to keep hitting the Anvil, pounding it daily, shaping your dreams

If you build it they will come

Don’t let life’s challenges knock you off course remember:

“Circumstances does not make the man, it reveals him to himself” ~ James Allen

Man is the Lord and Master of his thoughts and thus is the maker of himself.

In my book “Out of the Snares” I tell a compelling story of my, vision, of America as my promised land. My Land of milk and honey. I kept that, vision, in front of me and kept picking myself up after each failure believing that I would succeed, and I did.

https://myhelps.us/out-of-the-snares/

A few weeks ago I was talking to a young leader, trying to upgrade his, vision casting, skills. I gave him four simple tips about communicating, vision.

1. CLARITY. Leaders, must create clarity by narrowing the focus when casting, vision. Everything that can be done in the name of God is not sign at all. It is a sign of undisciplined thinking. The leader’s job is to focus the organization on the core essentials. The more we focus on and clarify essentials, the easier it is to identify and eliminate non-essentials.

2. COMPELLING. Once your goals are clarified, it must be communicated in a way that is compelling. A, leader, who makes an unprepared sloppy presentation can make an otherwise exciting goals seem boring. Compelling, goals, produces action. Boring goals produces nothing.

3. COMMITMENT. Casting a clear and compelling, vision, without calling for commitment is a waste of everyone’s time. Real, leaders, are committed and they call others to commitment. Some leaders are hesitant to demand sacrificial commitment because they are not all-in themselves. Commitment is an example that leaders set, not a message they teach. Leadership commitment is contagious. So is leadership non-commitment.

4. COMMUNITY. Clear and compelling goals attracts committed people. As these people sacrifice for the common, community happens. Trying to create community for the sake of community creates unhealthy ingrown short-lived community. Doing goals together creates strong healthy long-term community.

SUMMARY. As a leader, you are the visionary for your church, ministry, or organization. If you communicate clear and compelling, if you model and call for commitment, you will end up with a strong healthy community. You will also accomplish your dreams.

Additional Resources:

http://blog.myhelps.us/vision-fails-5-things-can-failure/

http://blog.myhelps.us/ten-characteristics-of-an-entrepreneur-leader/

https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/resumes-cover-letters/leadership-skills

 

How to Become an Open Communicator

How to become an open communicator

Sometimes being an, open communicator, vs a closed off communicator gets you out of bad situations like in a relationship.  In every area of life, there is no reward if there is no risk taken.

This week on Mindset Transformation radio and podcast with Coach Myrna Young, I interview Leadership Coach and Trainer, Gail Green.
Gail teaches us How to Become an, open Communicator. Gail is the founder of GoGreen Learning.
To receive her Free Gift of 3 Go Cards send her an email from her web site www.gogreenlearning.com

 

Here is a brief Biography of Gail Green.

•Gail is a leadership coach and trainer and her topic today is “How to find out if you are an, open vs closed communicator, as well as an, open communicator in the workplace.   Gail is a leader who connects individuals and teams to their truth, helping them to discover their full expression of courage, joy and fulfillment. Gail works with all sizes of companies, as well as individually with leaders, and do life coaching with individuals from all walks of life.

Gail’s primary work is in leadership development, teambuilding, stress management and all forms of, open and honest communication.

Who is a Closed Communicator?

Why is being a, closed communicator, bad?

As a, closed communicator:

  • you become defensive,
  • resistant,
  • bitchy,
  • moody,
  • easy to anger,
  • confrontational,
  • and not open to feedback.

So as a Leader, it is important to be an, open communicator,  to your team and employees.

Open people radiate outwards from their heart and is able to touch others.

If you want to impact your employees and your customers, then learn how to be open.
Listen to the podcast as Gail teaches us how to be an, Open vs Closed communicator, with the help of her Go Cards.

Brian Tracy The author of “Eat that Frog” also teaches How to become an, Open Communicator, as a Leader and achieve new levels of success in sales.
Click the link below to find out how.


300x250 Sales Success Made Simple

 

Are You also Closed Off in your personal relationships And Don’t Even Know It?

Being an, open communicator in a relationship, is necessary for the relationship to be healthy.

Here are a few questions to find out if you are an, open communicator.

  • How Would you answer the following questions?
  • Are you emotionally guarded?
  • Are you willing to take risks?

If you answered yes to these questions, it could mean that you are closed off emotionally.

Sometimes being emotionally guarded gets you into bad situations; but most of the time it gets you nowhere. In every area of life, there is no reward if there is no risk taken. So that could be why you keep finding yourself in relationships that bore you, or in relationship with other emotionally closed off individuals. Because like attracts like. Those relationships aren’t very rewarding, are they?

Open and honest communication, is the best way to be in relationships at home and workplace. If you don’t take the risk by becoming an, open communicator, and putting your true self and your true feelings on the table, those are the types of relationships that you will attract.

Your emotionally open friends who love being, open communicators, will get those giddy, best-friends-lovers, movie-type romances; you will get the dead-end ones. Maybe you’ve never had your heart broken, and maybe you think that’s a perk. But it’s not. It is said that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all! So, I will ask the question. Are you closed off communicator and don’t even realize it?

Here is an article from Madame Enoire that asks 10 more ways to tell if you are closed off personally.

Here are 10 ways to tell if you an, open communicator, or closed off 

  1. Do you feel like first dates are interrogations, and are put off by the line of questioning you receive during them?
  2. Does it feel very inappropriate to you whenever someone becomes emotional around you?
  3. Do your friends share their romantic stories with you? Or do they feel that you are never happy for them so they don’t share?
  4. Do you attract cocky guys?
  5. You do a lot of Googling before first dates.
  6.  You prep your friends to meet a guy.
  7.  Sex is a competition.
  8.  You’ve never cried to a partner or shown your venerability.
  9.  Eye contact makes you very uncomfortable
  10. You’re very sarcastic

 

Total Money Magnetism (The Secret Neuroscience of Millionaires) is a six-step system that effortlessly and automatically re-programs your brain into the brain of a millionaire. Written by world renowned hypnotherapist, multimillionaire, and celebrity success coach Dr. Steve G. Jones, this program is guaranteed to get results…

… Allowing ANYONE who uses it to experience the wealth, success and total financial freedom they’ve always wanted. Not only do you receive a manual packed with millionaire brain-building strategies and advice (including the steps to creating a passive income!), you also receive six custom-built millionaire brain hypnosis tracks recorded by Dr. Steve.

The key to a life of financial freedom and abundance is right in front of you, and I invite you to share it with your friends and family!

Show Notes Open Communicator:

  • • Topic: Are you an Open or, Closed Communicator?
  •  Tell us your journey towards becoming a Leadership coach
  •  How did you come to specialize in, Open vs closed communication?
  • How does a leader know if he or she is, open vs closed communicator? What determines that?
  • If a leader becomes closed off, how can he or she trace the source?
  • Why should leaders want to become open? What are the benefits of being an,  open communicator?
  • What tools do you offer as a coach to help clients who are closed off to become, open communicators?
  • You sent me this beautiful set of Go Cards, how does one use these cards to change their state?
  • How do we become, open communicators in the workplace?
  • What is the, meaning of open communication?

Additional Resources 

Life Leadership & Success

Never Underestimate Your Enemy: Putin’s War on Ukraine

Putins War on Ukraine

Dr. Gleb Tsipursky  , is a Ukrainian and a behavioral scientist. He shares why we should never go with our gut.  He believes that Putin went with his gut and attacked Ukraine believing it would be an easy victory because  he was able to attack Crimea in 2014. There was not a very strong international push and reaction against, Russia. And the, Ukraine Army, did not perform very well. And so, he judged that based on past trends, and the same thing would happen again and he, underestimated the enemy.

And so, those impulses to make decisions quickly without sufficient information. That’s what a snap judgment is. And we do that because we’re overconfident. Just like, Putin, was overconfident in this situation, people are also overconfident about who they marry and chose a partner without proper information.

Download the Podcast Here 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10543173-never-underestimate-your-enemy-putin-s-war-on-ukraine.mp3?download=true

Bio

Dr. Gleb Tsipursky is a world-renowned thought leader in future-proofing, decision making, and cognitive bias risk management in the future of work. He serves as the CEO of the boutique future-proofing consultancy Disaster Avoidance Experts, which helps forward-looking leaders in Fortune 500 firms, middle-market companies, and growing startups avoid dangerous threats and missed opportunities. He is the best-selling author of Never Go With Your Gut: How Pioneering Leaders Make the Best Decisions and Avoid Business Disasters, and other publications.

He was featured in over 550 articles and 450 interviews in Harvard Business ReviewFortuneUSA TodayInc. MagazineCBS NewsTimeBusiness Insider, and elsewhere. His expertise comes from over 20 years of consultingcoaching, and speaking and training for Fortune 500 companies, and over 15 years in academia as a behavioral scientist. Dr Gleb’s father is, Ukrainian, and he immigrated with his family to the United States in 1991.

Putin’s War on Ukraine

Myrna: Putin said that the reason he invaded, Ukraine, was because there were Jewish Nazis in, Ukraine. Everybody said that that was a ludicrous idea, because your president, Volodymyr Zelensky, is Jewish. So, educate us to what do you think was going on with, Putin. Why did the Jews come into the conversation?

Dr Gleb: The crucial thing, so again, I have a Jewish background and so does the current President of Ukraine, Zelensky, who has become world famous right now.

And so, Ukraine, and, Russia, and all that part of the world. A really important part of their heritage is fighting against the Nazi Germany in World War Two. So, if you think of the history books in, Russia, in, Ukraine, and Moldova, in Belarus, Latvia, Estonia, the United States, you have the 1776 revolution was like a fundamental episode in American history, kind of the founding in the Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, that part of the world, the former Soviet territories.

World War Two is really the crucial element that is in the history books as marking the rise of the Soviet Union, Russia, Ukraine. And so that was a fight against Nazi Germany. And that’s part of the people’s identity. So, whenever the political leadership is trying to scare people, and manipulate them into doing what the leadership wants, it brings out the specter of Nazis and labels everything bad on the Nazis. And so that when, Putin, was saying denazification. He’s not speaking to us, he’s speaking to his own people to justify the war. Putin, doesn’t think that the world outside, Russia, will be convinced that there are any actual real Nazis in the, Ukraine.

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Does Putin war on Ukraine come from his gut?

Myrna: Thanks for explaining a little bit about what, Putin, is doing as far as his conversation about the Nazi Germany. But let’s talk about you, you became a, risk management, and, decision-making expert, when we’re talking about war, when we’re talking about the pandemic, when we’re talking about anything that has risks; that is where your expertise lies. So, tell us about this, risk management, and what is that all about?

Dr Gleb: Sure, happy to. So, there’s a reason that my book was called “Never Go with Your Gut” Our, intuition, unfortunately, has been shown to lie to us very often. And many people trust their intuition. So, they think I should trust my, gut, that if it tells me something. That’s what I should do. I mean, that’s what, Putin, did when invaded, Ukraine.  He trusted his, gut, and we can see where it landed him?  In some very bad places.

Myrna: Yes, his gut told him that, Ukraine, would be an easy win, 6 weeks later, he had not made any progress.

Dr Gleb: You’re exactly right. You can see that his, gut, was very wrong. And that’s because he bought into these ideas, myths that you should trust your gut to follow your intuition. Despite the advice of many military advisors are telling him no to invade, Ukraine. Instead, Putin, sent his troops very quickly with unaccompanied tanks, paratroopers without sufficient support to try to occupy airfields around here to basically take the political capital. And that worked out very badly for him.

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Transform Your Mind Amazon

Putin underestimated the enemy

My background is in, behavioral science, which means how do we behave, and why do we behave that way, it is part of, cognitive neuroscience. How does the structure of, mind, shape what we do? And the interesting thing about that is that our, mind, is really not evolved for the environment. So, when we see what our, mind, is about, our, intuition, our, gut reactions, those parts of ourselves that are bound for the savanna environment when we lived in small tribes of 50 people to 150 people, and survive using the fight or flight reflex.

And so, we have certain, intuitions, that are shaped by that Savanna environment that various structures of our, minds, which cause our, mind, to be lazy, minimizing the work that needs to be done. That causes us to make very quick snap judgments and make decisions based on past tendencies and predictions of what would happen.

So, for example, with, Ukraine, when, Putin, was able to attack Crimea in 2014, there was not a very strong international push and reaction against, Russia. And the, Ukraine Army, did not perform very well. And so, he judged that based on past trends, and the same thing would happen again and he, underestimated the enemy.

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Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

Why Putin Underestimated Ukraine

Myrna: Zelensky, was not the president back in 2014. Putin, underestimated the enemy, right.

Dr Gleb, He not only, underestimated the enemy, but the, Ukrainian army, which was very much strengthened, both by, Ukraine, itself and by Western Arms, military arms during that period, and he underestimated the strength and resolving of the international response, which was very strong.

Myrna: Putin, underestimated the enemy, because, Ukraine, is not part of NATO, so he felt they won’t get any help. He made a lot of bad calculations.

Dr Gleb: We need to learn that our, gut, often is not to be trusted. There’s a reason that about 50% of marriages end in divorce. Because people tend to trust their gut their intuitions about marriage.

Myrna: You’re right we marry somebody because of your, gut feelings.

Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Never Go With Your Gut feelings

Dr Gleb: Yeah, you should make a more evaluative and calculating decision. And it feels very weird for people to hear this if they should make a calculated decision about who to marry. But if you don’t think through your decision, you are not going to make good choices. Let’s say you want kids, are you prepared to raise your children as a single mother if you get divorce? Since the divorce rate is 50% and most times the women are taking care of the kids, you have to think this through before you get married.

If I’m the woman, I don’t want to be the sole caretaker of the kids. If we have kids will need to divide up responsibilities. 50% right, otherwise, so one of the most common periods for people to get divorced when you look at when people get divorced is the first year after having a child which is pretty terrible.

And so, those impulses to make decisions quickly without sufficient information. That’s what a snap judgment is. And we do that because we’re overconfident. Just like, Putin, was overconfident in this situation, people are overconfident about who they marry.

Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

What is the impact of Russia’s war on Ukraine in the US

Myrna: Let’s get back to the war on, Ukraine. What do you think is the impact of, Russia, war on, Ukraine, on Ukrainians, and then on the Russians living in the United States?

Dr Gleb: So, Ukrainians like myself are definitely devastated by it. And we feel very strongly a lot of anger, a lot of frustration. And there’s especially this very weird dynamic where we’re all part of the, Russian, speaking community, right. I don’t speak, Ukrainian, all, I speak is, Russian.  But there are many, Ukrainians, who don’t speak the, Ukrainian, language, especially for ones who come from more from eastern, Ukraine.

And so right now, many, Ukrainians, are in the weird position of speaking a language that is associated with an enemy and that is their cultural heritage. And that’s been the position I find myself in. So that’s like a really strange and weird dynamic. And there’s a lot of sympathy and empathy for the people in, Ukraine, especially with people like myself, I have family there, and I’m really worried about them.  So that’s kind of, Ukrainians, and our experience.

Now I also have a lot of, Russian, friends and interests. My wife is actually Russian. She’s from Moscow, and I have a lot of other Russian people in my life, and I know that their main feeling is shame. Shame for what, Russia, is doing. People are burning their passports, just putting lighter fluid on their passports and burning them and expressing a lot of shame and grief and frustration. Feeling that they can’t ever go back to, Russia.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Discrimination against Russians in the US

It’s sad to see that there are some people in the United States who are expressing discrimination against, Russian, people. And of course, it’s really hard to tell someone who’s, Russian, from someone who’s, Ukrainian, like me, because we are speaking the same language, and have the same culture.

The Russians who are here are specifically up left, Russia, they do not want to be covered by that. So, it’s very important to not discriminate against them and to be supportive of them.

Myrna: How is the war on, Ukraine, going to affect relations in the future? Is there going to be some hate there between, Ukrainians, and, Russians? Do you think that divide is going to be permanent?

Dr Gleb: Yeah, I think that this divide is going to be there for several generations, because having this situation with just this brutal military conflict, especially some of the terrible, war crimes, coming out of Kharkiv, and other cities.  Civilians are being executed with their hands tied up and then being shot. That’s a horrible thing. And of course, other terrible things like, rape, and so on, but just the killing of civilians without any particular reason.

So, discovering those things is especially bad and just the shelling of Mariupol killing all those civilians. It that’s pretty terrible. I think the scenes especially of the brutal atrocities and, war crimes, in Kharkiv,  is going to cause a lot of just hatred for a very long time.

Myrna: So horrible to imagine and witness. Putin, is a, psychopath. He is exactly like Hitler.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Is Putin a Psychopath?

Dr Gleb: People like, Putin, who are arrogant, narcissistic, psychopaths, who just feel that they’re entitled and they’re grandiose and they’re ambitious, and they go with their gut. And then they make some pretty bad decisions that may harm all of us.

Myrna: So, what can the US do about, Russia’s war in Ukraine? You haven’t. You have some advice for the political powers?

Dr Gleb: Sure. So, I think one of the really important things to think about is how are, Ukrainian, citizens dealing with it from a humanitarian perspective, and to support, Ukrainian, citizens from a humanitarian perspective.  I think that’s very important. And what the United States does now will be remembered for a very long time, because the United States has been in the global eyes, it has been weakened in a number of situations, foreign policy wise.

Let’s say what happened in Afghanistan, that doesn’t look good and everywhere in Syria, many situations. So, this is a chance for us to redeem ourselves, and to really show that we are the leaders of the free world, and to really provide a model of how the world should act toward, Ukraine, by helping rebuild, Ukraine, is incredibly important.

Right now, Russia, is focusing on, Eastern Ukraine. I think there shouldn’t be a lot of efforts to rebuild the, Western Ukraine, at least with something like the Marshall Plan that was instituted after, World War Two, where the United States helped rebuild Europe after it was devastated by World War Two, something like that.

People ask, how much is going to cost? It’s definitely going to cost money, but think about the longtime term, the kind of goodwill we will get from all the people in, Ukraine, the people around, Ukraine, in Europe and elsewhere who will see the United States rebuilding a country that was devastated by foreign affairs.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Rebuilding Ukraine

Myrna: The United States, what about all countries in NATO?

Dr Gleb: We’re talking about what the United States can do right now. I certainly think the countries in NATO, it would be nice to help, but regardless of what they do, it’s very important for us as the leaders of the free world to help rebuild, Ukraine.  NATO aren’t the leaders of the free world. We are the leaders of the free world.

So, we should model the kind of behavior we want to see. And we should make sure by supporting, Ukraine, and building up, Ukraine, as a democratic country, we should make sure to support democracy around the world, because right now, we’re very much facing threats to our democracy.  Threats not only from, Russia, but much more importantly, China, other countries that are authoritarian regional countries that are not behaving very well.

And so we want to build up democracy and that means building up, Ukraine, and especially as the war winds down, and of course, at the same time supplying, Ukraine army, which we’re currently doing. I think that’s great. I think we should continue doing that and build up on top, but I certainly don’t think we should put any of our forces in there. I think we should provide them with weapons.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

Putin’s failure to defeat Ukraine

Myrna: The United States is also accepting, Ukrainian refugees.

So, we allow, Putin, to go in and destroy this country, and then somebody else has to rebuild it. How do we stop him from doing it again, or any other country from doing it? Is there a way to stop that? I mean, Putin, should rebuild, Ukraine.

Dr Gleb: For sure, it’s easier to destroy than to build. That’s first of all, and I think what will prevent him from doing it, again, is the, sanctions, that will degrade, Russia’s economy, and ability to build more modern weapons. That’s what we need to worry about, about, Russia, having more modern weapons, and by using pretty harsh, sanctions, which I think it would be good if the, sanctions, were ramped up more that will that will punish, Russia, and prevent it from going to war easily. Again, the future will also demonstrate to other countries like China that they should not be invading countries.

If you look at the Chinese messaging, communication, propaganda, they’re very much pro-Russian. So, we want to make sure that we have very strong, sanctions, on, Russia, in order to discourage China and other countries from trying anything like this in the future.

Myrna: It is great that, Putin, did not succeed, because if people are still watching it, you know what I mean? It wasn’t a successful venture. It was just a very costly venture, destroyed, the whole country, killed innocent people, and he didn’t get anything. He didn’t possess the land.

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Podbean

Sanctions to punish Putin

Dr Gleb: You absolutely right Myrna that’s very important. So, that’s coming in part from our military help, which is great. And also, the, sanctions, are helping.  We need to keep the, sanctions, but it is very important to rebuild, Ukraine. Nobody will do it if we don’t do. And so, this is the crucial thing that I think I want to point out that we really need to work on rebuilding credit. If we want democracy to flourish.

It’s very easy to say democracy is great, and it will flourish naturally. But we see that’s not the case. China, Russia and many, many other countries are authoritarian. And if we want democracy to win instead of authoritarianism, like in China and Russia, we need to build up democracies after they’re devastated by authoritarian states.

I think is really important for to see happen in, Ukraine. On the one hand, I think we definitely want to welcome refugees, Ukrainian refugees. I don’t think we should mandatorily support from coming here. So, there’s a natural filter system for the only the most capable and dedicated ones coming here because it takes a lot of money to come to United States.

So, we’d not have a program or evacuation like an Afghanistan, where we support people, Ukraine.  I think we want to welcome, Ukrainians. And also more controversially, I think we should really want to welcome those, Russians, who are leaving, Russia.

Myrna: How can listeners get in touch with you for, speaking engagements, your book, your articles, your social media handles etc.

Conclusion Putin’s War on Ukraine

Dr Gleb: Well, my book “Never go in your Gut” is available on bookstores everywhere and there’s an audio book for people who like that. There’s digital and physical to check it out, find the normal Amazon, whatever you want. My own resources are going to be at www.disasteravoidanceexperts.com. There’s my contact information for all the people who have any questions about anything.

I said that are interested in this sort of engagement, consulting coaching, speaking and so on. There are my blogs, videos, podcasts, audiobooks, ordinary books, online courses, check those out. And there’s a free online course and assessment on making dangerous judgment better so to help you avoid those dangerous judgment errors.

So, if you want to take an assessment of these, cognitive biases, as part of an online course, check out a free course at www.disasteravoidanceexperts.com/subscribe.

Additional Resources

How To Turn Your Pain Into Power

 

What’s your Startup IQ?

Business startup IQ

Are you an, Entrepreneur, or thinking of becoming an, Entrepreneur? Can you guess your,  startup IQ? Would you like to know if you are naturally gifted with Entrepreneurship Intelligence or you will have to work harder than most? Silicon Valley have the answer for you. They have a test to find out your, startup IQ.

Owning your own business gives you a sense of freedom and empowerment. You can build things and watch them grow.

Entrepreneurs, make decisions for themselves, realize their creative visions, and develop lasting relationships with other entrepreneurs, customers, and vendors.

It’s a great way to live. But your need an entrepreneur’s, IQ, to be good at starting and running a successful business.

Here are a few natural traits that predict Startup IQ.

Openness – A high openness score means you are open minded. You listen to the ideas of others and are willing to learn from them. Sam Walton built the Walmart Empire by learning from his competitors. This is your first, IQ test.

• Conscientiousness – Doing what is right. Integrity and honesty fit into this natural ability and, IQ, as well. Conscientious Entrepreneurs, run their companies diligently, solving their customers problems. This is your second, IQ, test.

• Extroversion – We have heard a lot about extroversion as it relates to successful CEO’s and startup, IQ. True in order to sell, you must like people and be comfortable around them; but as an, Entrepreneur, you shouldn’t go it alone. You should create a team. If you are not a natural extrovert, hire a front line sales person. Bill Gates is an introvert so you could be wildly successful even if you don’t have this natural ability.

• Agreeableness – Are you compassionate, warm and considerate? This is a necessary, IQ test. People do business with people they like. Agreeableness does not mean you must be nice all the time. As a business owner you must be able to also be straightforward with customers and employees and to replace the ones who do not conform to your mission.

• Neuroticism – A good indication of Entrepreneurial, startup IQ, success is to score low on the neuroticism test. Neuroticism is defined as the tendency of an individual to experience negative emotions such as anxiety, hostility, depression, impulsiveness and vulnerability. Entrepreneurs, Managers and Leaders must be emotionally stable, self-confident, calm in the presence of chaos, even tempered and relaxed.

• Fluid Intelligence – This refers to the ability to rapidly learn and apply a rule. Entrepreneurs, deal with different issues all day. As a start-up, entrepreneur,  they wear many different hats. The ability to switch from one issue to another is very important and is a skill that cannot be learned. Fluid Intelligence, is considered the most revealing test for, success. If you get stuck and can’t switch roles, you cannot lead and become an Enterprise.

The startup IQ test

As an, Entrepreneur, I agree with this predictive startup, IQ test.

As your Success and Entrepreneurial Coach, the foundation of my coaching practice is creating self-awareness and, business consciousness. I have seen passion override natural ability; so go for it.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

Read case studies to build your Startup IQ

As an, entrepreneur, you’ll be inundated with your, business, needing to take care of it all the time. So when you  have some leisure time, you might be tempted to read fiction or books for entertainment.

Instead, I encourage you to read case studies. Read biographies of successful, entrepreneurs, who had a high startup, IQ. Read everything you can get your hands on about those who have already been successful.

There’s always something to learn from those who have already done it.

I especially think it’s important to learn from the mistakes of others. If you learn from their mistakes, you won’t have to make those mistakes yourself.

And if you do make mistakes yourself, definitely learn from those.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Take Baby steps to test your startup, IQ. 

Building a successful entrepreneurial business can seem daunting, and that’s OK. Building a business from the ground up is a massive undertaking.

Here is a foolproof tactic: Break it down.

Any problem that seems insurmountable, break it down into baby steps.

Once you’ve broken it down into baby steps, take them one at a time. Before you know it, just by placing one foot in front of the other, you’ll be halfway up the mountain.

With grit and perseverance, baby steps will get you far toward becoming a successful, entrepreneur.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Focus build your startup IQ

The life of a successful, entrepreneur, can feel scattered and disjointed, but it’s important to limit your time spent multitasking.

Research has shown time and time again that multitasking doesn’t work. Humans aren’t capable of it.

And yes, multitasking includes being distracted by your phone and email tabs. Close them and put them away.

Learn to focus and take time to do just one task. Giving one task your full attention will mean that you’re more likely to get it done and do it well.

It’s also important to know that too many tasks on your to-do list can make you ineffective and distracted.

Learn to focus your to-do list on the tasks that you’re capable of finishing in the amount of time you’ve allotted for them.

For example, each night, set the three tasks that you’ll complete the following day. And each month, set the overarching goal for your company that you want to achieve in the next 30 days.

These techniques can help you to learn how to focus and more effectively manage your business, building your, business IQ.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/rich-wealthy-9010-rule/

Can you recognize your failure symptoms?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/neuroticism