Understanding Personalities: Which Archetype Drives You

understanding personailites types

Your Life Theme and, personalities,  shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes and the, 16 personalities types, that can compose your identity.

Introduction

John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman.  He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill.   That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, 16 personalities types, controls  our communication.

 

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are.  That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions.  Decisions like, I know I like this or I don’t like that.

How to identify our 16 Personalities.

John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn’t mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale.  That is how you read people.

Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun.  I want to appease the, personalities,  so when I  walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down.  I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

How does Objects identity their  personalities?

Our, personality, as our way of expression.  Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization.  The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.

Myrna: I’m thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I’m thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.

True,  but  I  look at what do you like to do for fun?  What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?”  I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are. I am able to identify one of your, 16 personalities types, from this test.

Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You

Your Life Theme offers the, personality,  framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.

You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or  “Life Themes.”

These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.

These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.

These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.

While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.

They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.

Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.

The Myers-Briggs Personalities Type Indicator

An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
  • Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
  • Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
  • Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
  • Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.

According to, Myers-Briggs,  theory of, personality types,  people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:

  • Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
  • Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
  • Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)

The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:

  • Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)

The 16 personalities types

The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.

The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.

The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.

The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.

All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:

Sponsored AD

Are you a high-achieving woman of color who struggles with imposter syndrome, procrastination, and self-sabotage?

Are you tired of going to bed each night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, only for it to be more of the same?

Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?

Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then friends, check out the Productive on Purpose podcast. this podcast is for you! Search “Productive on Purpose” on your favorite podcast player to listen today!

Oh, and if you struggle with procrastination, go to planning.productivepurpose.com to download your free “Planning for Procrastinators” guide. It’s time to start walking in our purpose, y’all.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personalities types:

  • The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
  • The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
  • The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
  • The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
Sponsored AD

Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now, and this is find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose. The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walk through of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan to go after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.

Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.

What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.

All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:

To download a copy of John Personality test quiz visit www.JohnVoris.com

Sponsored AD

“Get the HOT New best selling book “ Memoirs of a Senators wife” now available free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription.  Memoirs of the senators wife  FREE for a limited time for so DOWNLOAD NOW . ”

Additional Resources, Personalities.

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-secret-to-living-the-life-of-your-dreams/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-disable-your-autopilot-brain/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_and_Type_B_personality_theory

Authentic Identity Assessment

What Are the 12 Archetypes and Which One Dominates Your Personality

 

Surviving My Mothers Abandonment and Abuse

mother abandonment

Author Traci Thomas offers, reflection on her abandonment by her mother in her book, Reflection 4 Rejection. Traci answers the question how does rejection by a natural mother affect the child’s self worth and self esteem for the rest of their life.

In her book  “Reflection 4 Rejection ” —Surviving A Mother’s Abandonment And Abuse.” Traci Thomas shares her story and how she got to the other side.

Here is Traci’s story:

On, reflection, I feel that, rejection, by your natural mother, it’s such a unique, unusual, weird, inhumane space to be.   It nonetheless served such a  great purpose in my life, and what I mean by that is the following.  It’s one of those preambles whereas once you have survived this type of, rejection, you pretty much can walk on water, and I mean that literally and figuratively.  It’s one of those scenarios and situations very few people ever experience or understand.  When you suffer from, abandonment, you’re in your own community and it’s isolating; but yet you’re so powerful at the same time.

With that being said once you overcome this, abandonment,  and it is a challenge, it’s a lot to muddle through.  However, once you get through it, and you’re on the other side, there’s nothing you can’t do.  So in my situation, it’s like a head of bipartisan.  I had two scenarios, two lives coexisting at one time.  I had a father who had full custody of me at three years old.  That’s when my natural, mother, and my dad were divorced back in 1968.  I was born in 1965, that was unheard of within the United States.  Very few fathers gained custody of their children or their child, so that in itself is a profound statement.  That also shows you how little fight my natural, mother, put up to keep me.

I do remember one particular time my, mother,  did quote, unquote kidnap me.  She did take me when I got off the school bus when I was in kindergarten, and she took me to Philadelphia and thank God my father and the FBI came and rescued me. But even when she’s so-called put forth some effort, to show that she wanted me, it was still a situation where I was locked up in a room, there were German Shepherds downstairs and the FBI had to come and get me.  She never really exemplified that she wanted me; but that’s okay and that’s what I explained in the book.  It’s perfectly okay, because I define what, abandonment, is.  It’s a supernatural definition.  I actually give you, hind sights, definitions, elaborations and explanations as to what’s going on.  What’s happening, why your natural, mother, abandoned, you.  It took me 50 years to figure it out, which is sad, but at least I figured it out.

 

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

What does Abandonment Issues Mean?

Wikipedia says that, abandonment issues, causes Abandoned child Syndrome.

  • Abandoned child syndrome is a proposed behavioral or psychological condition that results primarily from the loss of one or both parents or sexual abuse.
  • Abandonment issues, may stem from  physical (the parent is not present in the child’s life) or emotional (the parent withholds affection, nurturing, or stimulation). The abandoned child syndrome is not recognized as a mental illness.
  • Mothers, who leave their children, or when a parent is alienated from their children by the other parent (after a bitter divorce, DCHS, or foster care), can cause psychological damage to the child. This damage is reversible, but only with appropriate assistance.  Abandoned children may also often suffer physical damage from, rejection, malnutrition, starvation, and abuse.

I want to comment on something you said that’s a little different from my normal association with, abandonment, you said it took you about 50 years to get to the other side and it was very isolating; but once you got to the other side you felt like you could walk on water.  Which is a very positive spin on, abandonment, because if you were to take a survey of the, child abandonment, community you will find that most kids end up having a lot of self-esteem issues, they don’t think they’re good enough.

When you feel, abandoned, it’s not your imagination.  When you make every effort imaginable to connect or contact your natural mother and every single attempt, every single effort, every single expendable energy that you put forth, the end result is just this repellent. It’s this, rejection, of your natural, mother, not wanting you or your natural, mother, treating you as if you’re a bill collector. Your natural, mother, is literally tolerating you and can’t wait to get you off the phone.  When you’re in a scenario like that again and again, it’s so bizarre.

Podcast interview Questions: Reflection, 4, Rejection

What was your Objective in writing “Reflection 4 Rejection ” —Surviving A Mother’s , Abandonment, And Abuse.?

On, reflection, once you’ve been in a situation where you’ve made every effort and did somersaults, headstands, back-flips,  anything you can think of to connect with your natural mother, and every single attempt is unproductive and counterproductive.  It’s toxic, and it’s unhealthy, because of the way that you feel afterwards.  You literally feel as if you’ve been punched in the stomach with every single attempt to get the love of your, mother.

You’re in tears and you’re shaking, and you have anxiety, and then you go through life thinking that you’ve got to kiss every behind in the universe.  You have this feeling of inadequacy this feeling of I’m not good enough, there’s something wrong with me. That’s why I wrote the book, because I do not want another human being going through five decades of what I went through. That’s why I engineered and composed the book.

My objective in writing the book, is for someone to have an open mind and instead of going through life telling themselves, my own, mother, didn’t want me. Even though that is true, instead they can tell themselves that they have every right and privilege to not want her either.

Power is something you take, nobody gives you power.  You snatch power.

So what I wish to do with this work, with this writing,  is to allow an individual to look at being, abandoned,  in hindsight. Let’s  really look at it and put an autopsy and microscope on, abandonment, for a second.  If you really do this it’s not hard at all, you won’t have to go through all these dog and pony shows and tail spins.   Kissing this one’s tail, and doing back flips for this person, and making your, mother,  love you, trying to buy this person,  begging for love, please love me, please like me.  You don’t have to go through all of those mental gymnastics. It’s not necessary. I’m trying to save somebody 50 years.

Abandonment, from Relationships

Can this scenario be also transferred to people who are, rejected,  period?  I mean because, rejection, and being, abandoned,  are not only synonymous with, mothers, or parents.  Men can reject you, your friends can reject you,  jobs can fire you.  Is this information transferable?

I placed a laser focus on this particular relationship between a  child and a natural, mother.  This ironically is not, rejection,  and if you read the book you’ll totally comprehend what I’m speaking about.  The natural, mother, is not rejecting you, the natural, mother, is rejecting the reminder of neglecting you.  The natural, mother, doesn’t even know you.  How can somebody reject you when they don’t even know you?  That makes absolutely no sense.

I’ve seen that the trauma that it is caused in young  lives and almost every aspect of being , abandoned, or, rejection. So it’s kind of good to tell yourself that your natural, mother, didn’t reject you because she doesn’t know you.  If you actually do believe that I can understand that it is easier to get to the other side.  That’s good, I like that spin.

Sponsored AD

Canisbeverages.com is family owned small business that specializes in promoting a healthy lifestyle.
Our flagship product is the hibiscus tea. The tea comes in various flavors including Cinnamon, Strawberry, Pineapple, Classic and Mango.
Hibiscus tea is packed with antioxidants, and it helps with regulating blood pressure , lowers blood fat levels, and also help fight bacteria. In this age of the Coronavirus, have a sip of tea loaded with antioxidants to promote a healthy body.
Visit us today at www.canisbeverages.com
Canisbeverages you are what you drink !

What is the main message of your book Reflection for Rejection?

I wrote the book to give some insight to, child abandonment.

What message would you give to that listener of why they should go out and buy the book?

It would be in their best interest even if they don’t get the book, if they just listened to the podcast, because it summarizes the book.  It’s their prerogative if they wish to purchase it or not.  I mean that’s their choice; but with that being said.

Don’t ever allow another person, place or thing to define your self-worth.  Don’t do that. Don’t ever give someone that opportunity or luxury.

I know you talked about your natural mother not  really rejecting you because she didn’t know you; but did you touch on psychologically what was happening to her for her to have that unnatural response to her biological daughter?

My father, God bless his soul, was extremely intimidating.  He was a very wealthy, powerful, articulate, worldly man. He traveled a lot because he was a computer programmer, so he was extremely I guess very controlling.  So I give my, mother, an inkling of understanding, because he was pretty much a womanizer.

I’m not giving her a full 24-hour pass, but I am giving her an hour pass.  I can’t really give her a full 24-hour pass, because there are, mothers,  who have gone through the same episode and they didn’t react that way.

Sponsored AD

This space explorer figurine will jumpstart AR for space careers and fight student debt

Were you exposed to your career or did you discover it by trial and error?

Are you or were you 1 out of 6 people who carry a chunk of the ~$1.5 trillion in outstanding student debt?

The craziest part is, 1/3 of those people are not even working in the same field as their degree. So how do we fix the problem?

Career Discovery has come up with a way to use augmented reality for enhanced career education, letting young people learn more about some of the most exciting, in-demand careers in the world while improving their ability to select a degree that they will actually use.

Most interesting? We’ve decided to start with space industry jobs, which means you can back our project on Kickstarter and learn a lot about a subject you find fascinating!

Our current Space career discovery modules include interviews with some of the Space industry’s leaders and prominent entrepreneurs and professionals. Plus, you’ll get fundamental exposure to core knowledge as well as quizzes and challenges designed to help students think about Space in a professional way.

We will eventually expand this to many other industries in Science, Technology, Engineering, Gaming, and many more.

One of the most exciting pieces about our pilot Space program is the AR-enabled 3D-printed collectible space explorer figurine we are giving to Kickstarter backers at a much discounted rate.

This futuristic, highly detailed blue, grey, white and black space explorer is scannable and activates the Space modules in our Augmented Reality app.

Check out this game changing space explorer on our campaign page   https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/careerdiscovery/career-discovery-space

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

 

Abuse and Abandonment

  • One of the things that I noticed talking with you Traci is that I see no evidence of PTSD from being, abandoned, by your, mother. Post traumatic stress disorder in teenage girls, usually develops for girls who have been sexually abused, neglected, or abandoned. You said that every time you tried it to communicate with your mom, or tried to make her love you, or tried to form a relationship; you felt like you got punched in the stomach.  At those times were you ever angry?

What’s so interesting is that I got angry at the end.  Like right in the last year. My book goes in chronological order. In the book, I actually highlight the events that have occurred during the last five decades, and what’s so flabbergasting to me is  that I didn’t get angry and livid until the very end.  I wasn’t angry at her, I was angry at me for participating.  I was so livid at myself for wasting so much time, that it took me decades to come down from the humiliation, the frustration,  the hurt, the pain, the disappointment,  the monotony, and the redundancy.

Getting to the other side, puts you in a disposition where you’re at total complete peace. I call it a, mother, transplant because once you realize why she acts the way she does, once that clicks in your brain, a light bulb goes off and you’re free.

Sponsored AD

Do you need a loan or rent an apartment but you don’t have a credit score? Do you have a credit score but it is low? I would like to tell you about an amazing free service offered by Kikoff, K-I-K-O-F-F. They build credit for free. No interest, no fee, no credit pull, no bank account or credit card required. Their customers who had zero credit were able to get a 600+ credit score in 30 days. Kikoff is an official member of all three major consumer credit bureaus and will establish your credit history with all of them. It is a mission-driven company backed by social impact investors. Credit building should be free and now it is. Build your credit and receive free credit scores at Kikoff’s website today! That’s kickoff without the “c”, so k-i-k-o-f-f dot com

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

How did you handle Rejection and Reflection?

When you read the book  you’ll completely understand what’s going on and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Your, mother, didn’t reject you, she can’t reject you because she doesn’t know you.

Yes, I understand what you’re saying.  After you become immune to the, rejection, and you get on the other side of, abandonment, when you get to the other side,  you feel empowered like you can walk on water.  Nobody else has the capability of hurting you.

Childhood trauma and, abandonment, affects children  in many ways.

Childhood trauma, #1
1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there’s also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder,
spending or gambling, workaholics etc. There’s 11 addictive behaviors.

Childhood trauma, #2

2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and
yelling at each other? The typical is yelling screaming but
this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like
“you’ll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.

Childhood trauma, #3

3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for
long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let’s say they
came home from school at 3 o’clock and mom if they’re in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours. There’s anxiety around that.
So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we’re out trying to support our
kids there home alone.

Childhood trauma, #4

4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – The rape or Molestation could have happened
in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than
the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools
we’re supposed to teach our child another way. If you’re beating them or hitting them you’re teaching them to be violent back. We don’t want to do that.

Childhood trauma, #5

5. Abandonment – There’s two types, childhood trauma from, abandonment. Fault and No Fault, abandonment.
Here are three examples of no-fault, abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24

Here is an example of “Fault”, abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home
and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new
girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.

Childhood trauma, #6

6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to
live with relatives because mom or dad couldn’t take care of you, that even
includes Grandma’s, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn’t
want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was
always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn’t want to go home.

Childhood trauma, #7

7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not
fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky.
Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.

http://blog.myhelps.us/confidence/

Childhood trauma, #8

8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a
medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time.
Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you
perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful
or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I’m
worthwhile too.

Childhood trauma, #9

9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved
a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years.
Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that’s all
family trauma and community trauma.
Today we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass
Shootings.

http://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/

Childhood trauma, #10

10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities.
We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma.
Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they
act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or
the repercussions.
Two examples of sociopaths are Steve Jobs and Tiger woods.

Sponsored AD

Want access to learning tools that will help you improve your life? Visit www.loyaldetermined.com! Loyal Determined offers online dating courses for both women and men which are easy to follow and will help you improve your existing relationship or assist you in making your next relationship succeed. Loyal Determined also offers online math courses for students who want to sharpen their skills in courses like Algebra and Algebra 2 in an engaging and effective way. Loyal Determined is constantly offering awesome new online courses to help you improve your life so be sure to check their website frequently. Visit www.loyaldetermined.com today!

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

 

Sponsored AD

Having computer problems let Kaymiah Remote Repair get your PC or Mac issues resolved.  We specialize in quick and reliable remote repair services.  We can log on remotely and get your computer back up and running or fix any issue you have in no time  and we are available 24/7.

Visit us online at https://kaymiahinc.com/remote all us today at 409-444-3012

Additional Resources 

Uninvolved parenting, sometimes referred to as neglectful parenting, is a style characterized by a lack of responsiveness to a child’s needs. Uninvolved parents make few to no demands of their children and they are often indifferent, dismissive, or even completely neglectful.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-uninvolved-parenting-2794958

Child abuse happens when a parent or care giver of a minor child allows, inflicts or permits physical or sexual abuse or allows a situation where there is a risk of physical injury. Child neglect means a minor child lacks adequate care and is danger of physical or psychological harm.

https://www.divorcesource.com/ds/children/abuse-and-neglect-to-children-in-a-divorce-261.shtml

What are the Symptoms of Adult ADHD?

adult adhd symptoms

We most often associate, ADHD, with children; but statistics show that 60% of childhood, ADHD, transforms to, adult ADHD.

We as have seen or been parents to the child who never stops or sits down.

In addition to never sitting down they are also:

Symptoms of Childhood, ADHD

  • Are impulsive
  • Have trouble focusing
  • Have trouble managing their emotions
  • Have difficulty remembering information
  • Don’t start tasks (or don’t finish them)

So how does it feel to be in a relationship with someone with, adult ADHD?

Here is one woman’s story af adult adhd

I dated 4 men with, adult ADHD, or ADD.  One was predominantly hyperactive; two inattentive, one likely mixed. I fall under the vagueness of “mixed” myself, which means I show characteristics of hyperactivity — the impulsiveness, the occasional non-stop talk, the rash decisions — and inattention: the fuzziness, the daydreaming, the drifting off mid-conversation.

I learned the, ADHD, tricks early on like, touching him when I needed his attention and he was working. I learned to move my fingers from his face to mine — the universal signal for eye contact — when he began to drift off.

The two inattentive men,  naturally tended toward household chaos, an inability to finish projects, and a desperate need for legal stimulants.

Understanding is the key to calming the chaos in the relationship.

 

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

Adult ADHD symptoms

I’m curious about, Adult ADHD symptoms. Does kids with, ADHD,  become adults with, adult ADHD?

For clarity let’s make sure people understand the acronym for, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Individuals can have, attention deficit disorder, without the hyperactivity and that disorder is ADD.  Things to keep in mind about, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or, Adult ADHD,  is that, yes you can have, ADHD, in  childhood and about 60% of kids grow up still having the same symptoms and become, adult ADHD. One of the interesting pieces about this is that it’s important for folks not to misconstrued information about what they’re seeing the adult exhibit.  Certain characteristics of, Adult ADHD, can mimic other disorders like for example Thyroid disease.

Does the 40% of kids who don’t have, adult ADHD, become cured?

Not necessarily , they could have developed coping skills to manage the, ADHD, behavior so the symptoms were minimized. They could have also learned strategies on how to behave or how to compensate for the symptoms.

What are the different types of, Adult ADHD?

When you look at the diagnostic and statistical manual that psychologists use.  It gives you  clarity on how, Adult ADHD, is diagnosed.  There are different types 3 types of symptoms that we see in, ADHD.

  1. Inattention
  2. Impulse Control
  3. Hyperactivity

We have to go through the process and can’t have people diagnosing themselves or their children or anyone else with the disorder. Sometimes you have symptoms because people don’t have appropriate amounts of minerals in their body or they might be subject to low levels of magnesium.  Things like that or people might have other diseases that might mimic, ADHD symptoms, so get these things ruled out with blood work.

ADHD in adults could mean you have an, ADHD, partner.

Here is what happening in their brain. What exactly is happening in the brain to cause someone to develop symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?

 

The Adult ADHD brain has impaired activity in four functional regions of the brain.

  • Frontal Cortex. This region controls high-level functions: …
  • Limbic System. This region is located deeper in the brain. …
  • Basal Ganglia. …
  • Reticular Activating System.

Sponsored AD

Are you a high-achieving woman of color who struggles with imposter syndrome, procrastination, and self-sabotage?

Are you tired of going to bed each night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, only for it to be more of the same?

Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?

Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then friends, check out the Productive on Purpose podcast. this podcast is for you! Search “Productive on Purpose” on your favorite podcast player to listen today!

Oh, and if you struggle with procrastination, go to planning.productivepurpose.com to download your free “Planning for Procrastinators” guide. It’s time to start walking in our purpose, y’all.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Adult ADHD test

To test for, adult ADHD, one has to look at the functions of the brain. The neurotransmitter in the brain is affected in ADHD. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for how we organize our cognitive flexibility and being able to control ourselves and things that come into our frame of reference.

The Basal Ganglia helps to regulate communication within the brain, sending signals from one neuron to the other and is responsible for our motor control movement.  The Basal Ganglia is also responsible for regulating emotional volatility and the Reticular Activating System is our major relay system.  It controls the many pathways that enter and leave the brain and is responsible for arousal and consciousness.

Dr Gray who is the author of Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus wrote an article in which he claims that men with, Adult ADHD, have problems committing to women because of the disorder. Do you agree with that statement?

No, not at all.  I think there are other reasons that men can’t commit to women. Dr Gray is trying to give these men a pass.  I would love to see his research.

Does, ADHD, medications cure the disorder?

Medications for, ADHD, are non-stimulant and stimulant meds depending on what the individual the parents would choose. I always think of other Alternatives besides the use of pharmaceuticals.  I would rather use in a non-medication treatment or neuro feedback to help with symptoms of, ADHD. Bio feedback can cure the disorder, medication just masks or controls but never cures.

if you give anyone who clearly has, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, medication for 6 months and the other Bio Feedback for 6 months, you will see the difference in the treatment results.

Sponsored AD

Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now: find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose.

The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walkthrough of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan of going after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.

Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. ..That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Does internet pornography rewire men’s brain to have, Adult ADHD?

I came across an article from Dr Gray and he was specifically talking about men who develop, Adult ADHD, because of pornography. He said pornography is re wiring men’s brain and causing them to develop, ADHD.  He said pornography also blocks love and connection with their partner.

https://wellnessforce.com/dr-john-gray-adhd-brain-health-sex-addiction/

 

Shocking Facts About ADHD

  • One out of ten American children have been diagnosed with ADHD,
  • One out of seven American women over 55 will develop dementia,
  • Statistics reveal a greater risk of ADHD in children of divorced parents, particularly when boys are missing the regular influence of their fathers or their mothers are unable to find happiness

 

Additional Resources Adult ADHD

http://blog.myhelps.us/understanding-mental-illness-my-bipolar-life/

How to Disable your Autopilot Brain

Dealing with Anxiety Disorder after Addiction

https://www.verywellmind.com/add-and-attention-deficit-disorders-2161810#:~:text=Attention%20deficit%20disorder%20(ADD)%20is,completing%20tasks%20and%20social%20interaction.

 

Altruism: Why We Should Embrace the Servant Mindset

Altruism embracing the servant mindset

Altruism is the selfless act of helping others without expecting anything in return. “It is often considered one of the defining characteristics of what it means to be human. Jesus introduces us to the, servant mindset. The servant mindset, is doing your duty and not expecting thanks or words of appreciation. This message hit home to me because I always say thanks and expect thanks.  But if we are truly serving our community, we do our duty just like the servant who worked all day in the fields, then he had to prepare his masters meal and then serve him while he ate.  And when his master has no more need for him then he fixes himself something to eat. He does all this without his coveting his master to say thanks.

Download the podcast here:

https://pscrb.fm/rss/p/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://prfx.byspotify.com/e/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/14136592-embracing-the-servant-mindset-serving-without-expecting-thanks.mp3?download=true

Introduction to Altruism

Welcome back to the Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life, the  podcast. I’m your host, life coach Myrna Young, and today on Five Minute Fridays, I want to delve into the topic of embracing the, servant mindset. It’s an interesting concept that I’ve been learning and growing in myself, as I’ve always been someone who expects thanks when I serve others. However, true Altruism is the service without expecting thanks or anything in return. Jesus teaches us that true service comes from a place of selflessness, where we serve without expecting anything in return.

In Luke 17:7-9, Jesus shares a parable about a servant who plows and tends to the sheep. When the servant comes in from the field, he doesn’t expect to be invited to sit down and eat. Instead, he is instructed to prepare his master’s supper, get himself ready, and wait on his master while he eats and drinks. Only after his master is satisfied does the servant have permission to eat and drink himself. And in this parable, Jesus emphasizes that the servant will not receive thanks for simply doing his job, because his duty is to be of service to  his master.

Paid Link

 

Amazon Audible
Amazon Audible

Try Audible Plus 

I expect thanks for my acts of service

This parable resonates with me personally, as I often find myself expecting thanks and appreciation for the work I do. For example, as the host of this podcast, I promote my guests and go out of my way to support them. However, I’ve noticed that sometimes there is silence after the show airs, with no acknowledgement or reciprocation. But I’ve come to realize that my purpose is to serve in true Altruism fashion  and if I don’t receive thanks, it doesn’t diminish the value of my service.

My husband often reminds me not to expect others to pat me on the back, but to pat myself on the back instead. He shares his experience from playing football, where he would make a great play and not receive any recognition from the coach. Eventually, he learned to acknowledge his own achievements and find fulfillment in his own work, rather than relying on external validation. This is the essence of embracing a, servant mindset – finding joy and fulfillment in the act of serving through Altruism regardless of whether or not we receive thanks.

So, what does it mean to have a, servant mindset? Let’s explore the key aspects of this mindset and how they can positively impact our lives.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Selfless Service: Helping Others Without Expecting Recognition

True service is rooted in selflessness and Altruism. It’s about helping others not for recognition, but because it’s the right thing to do. As I serve you all through this podcast, my ministry is to help you transform your mind and, in turn, transform your life. I don’t expect thanks or praise for my service, because my purpose is to make a positive impact and support your growth. Embracing a, servant mindset, means focusing on the act of service itself, rather than seeking external validation and reciprocation.

Humility and Obedience: Following Without Expecting Praise

To have a, servant mindset, we must practice humility and obedience. Just as the servant in the parable follows their master’s commands without expecting praise, we too should approach our duties with humility and obedience. This means being willing to serve others and fulfill our responsibilities without seeking recognition or accolades. It’s about recognizing that our role is to serve and support others, and finding fulfillment in fulfilling that role, regardless of whether or not we receive thanks.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

The Joy of Giving: Finding Fulfillment in Altruism

A, servant mindset, brings joy through giving and helping others, even if our actions are not acknowledged or appreciated. It’s about finding fulfillment in the act of giving itself, rather than relying on external validation or gratitude. For example, I find joy in giving money to those in need, even if they don’t express their gratitude. The act of giving is its own reward, and it allows us to make a positive impact in the lives of others.

Paid Link
Moosend email marketing software
Moosend email marketing software

Turn email marketing into your ally with Moosend’s email marketing tools! Manage your audience, segment it and use the data you collected to deliver messages that will make them click and convert! Start your journey today:

Get a generous 35% discount on all Moosend annual plans with the code MERRY35.

http://blog.myhelps.us/moosend

Cultivating Gratitude: Appreciating Those Who Serve Us

On the flip side of giving is gratitude. Embracing Altruism also means being grateful for those who serve us selflessly. Whether it’s a spouse who supports us or someone who goes above and beyond in their service, we should acknowledge and appreciate their efforts. It’s important to recognize that we are not the only ones with a, servant mindset, and to express our gratitude for those who serve us in various ways.

The Ripple Effect of Altruism: Inspiring Others to Serve

Embracing Altruism can inspire others to do the same. When we lead by example and cultivate a culture of kindness and generosity, it creates a ripple effect in our communities. Others see our selfless service and are inspired to follow suit. As Jesus said, someone is always watching, and our actions can inspire others to embrace a, servant mindset, and make the world a better place, one act of kindness at a time.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Conclusion

In conclusion, embracing a, servant mindset, as taught by Jesus in Luke 17, is a path to genuine selfless service. It reminds us that true Altruism comes from helping others without expecting accolades. By adopting this mindset, we can make a positive impact in the lives of others and create a ripple effect of kindness and generosity. So, let’s continue to serve without expecting thanks, knowing that our true reward lies in the joy of giving and the knowledge that we are making a difference in the world.

Thank you for joining me on this episode of Five Minute Fridays. Until next time, remember to embrace the, servant mindset, and continue to transform your mind to transform your life. Namaste.

Additional Resources

The Stone the Builder Rejected, Now Cornerstone

How to Deal With Rejection: Believing You Are The One

coach Myrna How to deal with Rejection
In this post coach Myrna shares 4 tips on, how to deal with rejection, and why you have to believe, you are the one. Rejection is a powerful and universal human experience that can shape the course of our lives. Even figures of historical and religious significance, such as Jesus and David, were not immune to the sting of rejection.
Jesus was rejected in his home town because the people said he is just a carpenter, the son of Mary.  We know his brothers and sisters and we’re deeply offended that he claimed to be the son of God
David was the least in his household. His father did not even call him when the prophet came to the house, he told the prophet those were all his sons until the prophet said the oil is not flowing for any of these men, so there must be another son, then the father said yes they’d is David but he is just a nobody.
Download the podcast here: 

Introduction:

Rejection is a powerful and universal human experience that can shape the course of our lives. Even figures of great historical and religious significance, such as Jesus and David, were not immune to the sting of rejection. In this solo coaching session, I want to look at lessons on, how to deal with rejection, and lessons we can learn from rejection.  Also why you must believe that, you are the one. Remember Neo in the matrix? Once he believed he was the One he was invincible.
In examining the story of both Jesus and David’s rejection we gain insights into the nature of doubt, the complexities of identity, and the resilience required on, how to overcome rejection.

Jesus: Rejected in His Hometown

The story of Jesus’ rejection in his hometown of Nazareth is a poignant reminder that familiarity does not always breed acceptance. Despite performing miracles and teaching with authority, Jesus faced skepticism and disbelief from those who had known him as a child. The people said He is just a carpenter, I know his mom and his brothers and sisters. Jesus commented “A prophet is not without honor except in his own town” captures the essence of, how to deal with rejection. Jesus’ experience teaches us that our friends and even family members can reject you and not give you respect even when you are doing something extraordinary.

David: The Overlooked Anointed One

The story of David’s anointing as king provides another example of the complexities of rejection and, how to deal with rejection.  When the prophet Samuel visited Jesse’s household to anoint the future king of Israel, David’s own father did not initially consider him a candidate. Instead, Jesse presented his older, seemingly more qualified sons. This oversight illustrates the limitations of human perception and the tendency to judge based on appearances rather than character or potential.

4 Lessons Learned from rejection

1. **The Power of Perseverance:** Both Jesus and David demonstrated remarkable perseverance in the face of rejection.  This is the first tip on, how to deal with rejection. They did not allow doubt or skepticism to deter them from their missions. Their stories remind us that setbacks can be stepping stones to greatness when met with determination.
2. **The Importance of Self-Belief:** Jesus and David both held strong convictions about their identities and callings.  This is tip #2 on, how to handle rejection, you have to believe that, you are the one.  Their unwavering self-belief allowed them to rise above the opinions of others and fulfill their destinies. They believed that they were the One. This underscores the significance of self-awareness and confidence in navigating challenges.
3. **Have an Open Mind:** The reactions of those around Jesus and David serve as a reminder of the, dangers of closed-mindedness. Rejection can stem from biases, limited perspectives, and societal norms. Embracing open-mindedness and being willing to see beyond the surface can lead to greater understanding and acceptance. Never judge the book by its cover.
4. **The Unpredictability of Purpose:** Both stories highlight the unpredictability of, divine purpose. The rejected stone can become the cornerstone, and the overlooked shepherd boy can become a mighty king. These narratives encourage us to remain open to the unexpected directions that our lives may take.

Conclusion:

The stories of Jesus’ rejection in his hometown and David’s overlooked anointing remind us that even the most revered figures faced doubt and rejection. These accounts offer valuable lessons about perseverance, self-belief, open-mindedness, and the unpredictable nature of purpose. By examining these narratives, we can draw inspiration to overcome our own challenges, embrace our identities, and navigate the complexities of rejection with grace and resilience.
Additional resources 

 

Understanding Mental Illness: My Bipolar Life

My Bipolar Life

If you have been diagnosed with, mental illness, or, Bipolar disorder,  it means that you probably think of ending your life all the time.  In this episode, I interview Gabe Howard, who was diagnosed with, Bipolar disorder, at age 25.

Before then Gabe said that he did not know he was sick. His parents thought  he was just acting out and would punish him for his behavior. But he remembers thinking of suicide all his life, until he got treatment. No one knew he was, Bipolar.

Today GABE HOWARD is an award-winning speaker, author, and podcast host who lives with bipolar disorder. He hosts the weekly Psych Central Podcast and is the co-host of the Not Crazy podcast. He’s the author of Mental Illness is an Asshole – and Other Observations and has appeared on numerous websites, podcasts, and in many traditional media outlets

Introduction to My Bipolar Life

I was diagnosed with, Bipolar disorder, when I was when I was 25 years old. I didn’t know that I was sick. I had all of these, mental health, symptoms. They were causing me a lot of personal problems. I had a drug and alcohol problem, hyper sexuality was an issue, my relationships were just being destroyed, all because of, mental illness, but I didn’t know anything was wrong.

Then one day I ended up in a psychiatric hospital, because I was ready to end my own life. I thought about suicide as far back as I can remember.

I just thought it was normal to want to die.

Sponsored AD

Are you into fashion? Are you in need of things for your home? Look no further, BENJAMIN is a leading online accessory boutique that carries a wide variety of essential, yet overlooked and sometimes hard to find fashion, home and travel accessories. From the minimalist to the ultra-luxury, it is showcased here. www.thebenjaminshop.com

What is, Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is a mental illness marked by extreme changes in mood from high to low, and from low to high. Highs are periods of mania, while lows are periods of depression. The changes in mood may even become mixed, so you might feel elated and depressed at the same time.

The problem Gabe says is that when you are in the middle is when you get the job, the girl, the promotion, get married.  You usually loose these things when you are depressed or manic;  being in the middle is where you want to be.

I became an advocate because I consider myself to be a smart person and I don’t have like some story about how my parents were awful. My parents are good people, they loved me very much. My dad was a truck driver my mom a stay-at-home mom and they did all the things right.

They were engaged, they loved me, they were present and none of us knew that I was, Bipolar, None of us got me any help. I thought wow if I didn’t know, if my family didn’t know, if all of that love and engagement and connection and caring and they just missed it. There must be other people that are in my shoes. That’s why I became a, mental health advocate.

I just wanted to talk about, Bipolar, openly so that there just wouldn’t be other people wandering around sick and scared and symptomatic. They could get help, because I was really lucky.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

Sponsored AD

If you have a special occasion and you need to get that special person a special gift then head to Watchshopus.com

Shop with confidence at watchshopus.com

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher
Sponsored AD

Hypnosis-Everywhere with Ines Simpson explores, dissects, discusses and opens up the world of Hypnosis. You will discover that Hypnosis is a very big world indeed. In Hypnosis-Everywhere, Ines offers you tools and answers to deal with that tricky mind of yours, and proven ways to enrich your life.

Fears, Anxieties, Phobias, PTSD, Body health, Mind Health, Spiritual Health are just some of the things Hypnosis works for. Hypnosis-Everywhere is a show about our minds and the miracles we can achieve for ourselves and each other

webpage https://hypnosis.simpsonprotocol.com/hypnosis-on-the-radio

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

What is Mental Illness?

Mental Illness is an Asshole!

In his book Mental Illness is an Asshole – and Other Observations

Mental Illness is an Asshole is Gabe Howard’s first collection of articles about living with mental illness.

All the articles date from 2014 through 2018 and include his observations on reaching recovery, stigma, and living well in spite of depression, bipolar, and anxiety. Totaling over 380 pages, Gabe even shares the story of his :): logo for the first time.

For years, Gabe Howard’s entertaining articles and essays have been educating people about living with mental illness. His observations cover everything from practical advice to family relationships to the fears that people with mental illness experience.

In essays such as “Anxiety Says Everyone Hates Me,” “I Have Bipolar and I’m a Hypocrite,” and, yes, “Mental Illness Is an Asshole,” Gabe makes mental illness less scary and more understandable.

I had a suicide plan and I just happen to run into somebody that understood that understood mental illness and it she looked at me and asked me “are you planning on killing yourself?” Her training allowed her to ask that question and I said yes! She he me committed to the psychiatric hospital.

I was diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, and of course once I was diagnosed with, bipolar, to go on and lead good life. This is why I always say that I was lucky.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio
Sponsored AD

There’s a hot new shoe line out. “Correl8ted”, a shoe brand that is a mixture of street and classy, urban and poetic. A diamond that will shine from all angles and keep your FIT and  lit from head to toe. The innovator, CJ Brandon, who is  a veteran in the Army National Guard, has always had a passion for fashion and a nack for the power of swag. Truly, a servant who is looking for different ways to serve his community through business.

His first design, The Limited Edition Correl8ted 1’s are a Hi-top sneaker that is inspired by futuristic themes. Its sleek black, white, pink, and coal grey colorway churns top notch style and funk that will turn heads in any setting or environment. Be prepared to INSPIRE

aliveshoes.com/correl8ted

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio
Sponsored AD

Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now: find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose.

The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walkthrough of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan of going after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.

Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. ..That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

What is, Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar disorder, is commonly described as extreme highs to extreme lows. From suicidal depression all the way to God like mania. As a, Bipolar, you will have to battle depression where you want to die, and feel like you want to die, you feel like you want everything to end. When you are in Mania, you feel like the whole world revolves around you.

Then there is the middle. Everything is normal. That’s when you get the job, that’s when you meet the girl, that’s when you get married, buy the house, have all the friends; all the things that you lose when you become symptomatic.

Psych Meds for, Bipolar Disorder, the Good, Bad, and the Ugly

Psychiatric medications are the religion and politics of the mental health advocacy world.

In this episode, we cover the good, the bad, and the ugly surrounding medications. Like whether or not you should take them. We tackle side effects like feeling numb and sexual dysfunction and share our personal histories with medication therapy.

If you have any form of, mental illness, that you need Meds to function. Medications are amazing, they saved my life. I want to be very clear. Without my medication I cannot live the life that I live. So many people mistakenly believe that psychiatric medications are magical that you just need to take the pill and boom everything is fine and it’s simple.

It’s much bigger than that. In addition to psychiatric medication, therapy is very important, learning coping skills is very important, and going to support groups. You have to deal with the trauma of your past and all of these things matter; but all we ever hear about is psychiatric medication and I want to change that. I want to change it to, did you take your meds and did you go to therapy and did you utilize your coping skills?

 

Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes
Download on iTunes
Sponsored AD

If your business needs working capital to fund its growth or maybe to get thru a tight financial pinch. if traditional banks aren’t the right fit for you, we may just have the funds you need. Our providers are going to look for cash flow more than your credit score and we represent all the top alternative providers.

So with us, one-stop shopping, is the best option. Get cash for your business now. Short, no obligation, application!!!
Our providers have funded over $10 Billion to thousands of small businesses. Visit www.DavidAllenCapital.com/102251169
or call Alexia @ 202-445-0851 and Get funding in as little as 3 days!!!

What is the most common cause of, bipolar disorder?

Biological traits

Hormonal problems: Hormonal imbalances might trigger or cause bipolar disorder. Environmental factors: Abuse, mental stress, a “significant loss,” or some other traumatic event may contribute to or trigger bipolar disorder.

Sponsored AD

Motor Club or America is your friend on the road offering you complete piece of mind for you, your family and your vehicle. Total security benefits cover you at work, at home and even at play.

Membership includes the following and much more
Unlimited Emergency road service- for your car, boat, RV and trucks  with 100 mile towing;  Up to $500 Emergency Room Benefit, Up to $2,000 in attorney fees;  $25,000 Bail Bonds when charged with vehicular manslaughter or auto related negligent homicide; $150 daily Hospital benefit and $50,000 Accidental Death Benefit

Many more benefits and fantastic services await you. This isn’t road insurance, it’s road Assurance. To find out more head over to www.morethan4tows.com
And remember, when the unexpected happens, Motor Club Of America has you covered.

Mental Health Advocate for, Bipolar

Gabe is a, Mental Health Advocate. He remembers when no one knew he was sick for over 20 years.  He had a plan to end his life and luckly for him, someone asked him the question “Are you planning on hurting yourself” He answered yes and he was admitted to the Psychiatric ward in hospital.

That saved his life so now, he is a, mental health advocate, to help others suffering from, mental illness, or, bipolar disorder, receive treatment and services.

Sponsored AD
“Get the HOT New best selling book “ Memoirs of a Senators wife” now available free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription.  Memoirs of the senators wife  FREE for a limited time for so DOWNLOAD NOW . “

The International Best Selling novel, Memoirs Of The Senator’s Wife is the saga of a tempestuous forbidden love affair between a beautiful politician’s wife, Estella Myrtle- Cyrus, and a sensuous Secret Service agent, Michael Hagar.

Additional Resources for, Bipolar Disorder.

The book is a collection of Articles and all of the Articles have something to do with, mental illness, mental health, loving somebody with, mental illness, dating someone with, bipolar,

It’s almost a reference guide that you can carry around for people with, bipolar, or dealing with somebody who is living with, mental illness, and depression and anxiety, don’t just live with, bipolar, you can have just depression, you can have just anxiety. Even people with schizophrenia, they suffer from depression and anxiety as well.

Dealing with Anxiety Disorder after Addiction

http://blog.myhelps.us/understanding-and-managing-compulsive-behaviors/

http://blog.myhelps.us/9-steps-to-effective-advocacy/

 

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20356007

https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324602.php

 

 

How to Deal with Grief from Death or Incarceration

Coping with, grief,  either from death, divorce, incarceration, job loss, or even loosing your home is devastating. Mental Health counselor, Arifah Yusaf  and, Life Coach, Myrna Young shares strategies for coping with loss.

I have been fortunate at 60 years old to not had to deal with the kind of, grief, that tears your soul out. The kind that of,  grief,  makes you want to die. The kind that  hurt so bad that you can’t get up out of bed for weeks.

I have heard stories, and I have had a front row seat to my daughters grief when she buried her fiancé.

Grief from Losing a Child:

I was listening to an interview with Anderson Cooper a few months back and he was telling the story of his brother suicide. Then I heard his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt,  talk about it. Put yourself in this scene.

Your 22 year old son wakes up from a nap and comes into your room. Asks you some question you don’t comprehend and then runs out of your room onto the balcony of your 12th story Penthouse suite and jumps to his death while you watch, shocked out of your mind.

Gloria Vanderbilt, had this experience. In an interview she said in her, grief, she stayed in bed for 2 weeks and cried and cried until she ran out of tears. Since then she has not cried once. She says it is as if, she has no tears left.

When a loved one commits suicide the, grief, is even more acute because there is blame wondering what you may have missed, could have done to prevent it, are you the cause etc.

But after hearing that interview, I heard another interview on the, Mental Health Happy Hour podcast, that penetrated my consciousness about the horror or, grief,

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

Grief and the Death of a Spouse:

The guest told the story about, the death of her spouse, seeing her husband drown in front of her and how her world changed from that day.

Here is her story. She said her husband Matt was a super athlete very strong. She gave us the mental picture of him hanging from a cliff with one hand and in the other hand pulling up his 17 year old son.

One day before they picked up her husband’s son from the Airport, they decided to take their dog for a walk in the woods by their home. Her husband decided to take a quick swim in the river, something he did several times per week. She decided to keep playing with the dog.

After some time, she said she heard her husband cough once and she didn’t think anything of it. She said to herself, he got water into his mouth again. When she heard him cough again, she decided to investigate. When she reached the river, she saw her husband clinging to a branch in river. She knew something was wrong.

The river looked the same as it always looked, very calm on top; but as soon as she stepped into the river to help her husband, she felt the strong undercurrent. The current took her and her dog up the river for about 2 miles before it spit them out on the shore. She said she was then lost in the woods for about 45 mins before she was able to get help.

They began a search and rescue for her husband, but  after 3 hours it became a search and recovery.

They found him entangled in weeds at the bottom of the river.

My husband drowned in front of me

Her, grief, extended to having to tell Matt’s son that his father was dead. What it felt like to pick up Matt’s son from the airport the day before his 18th birthday.

Knowing that Matt’s son could never again celebrate his birthday again because it will always be the anniversary of his Dad’s death. She talked about having to call Matt’s parents and tell them their son was dead. She said his father hung up on her he didn’t want to believe it. Calling all his friends in his phone and telling them. Her, grief,  was unbearable.

She said she could no longer practice her profession as a therapist, because she couldn’t listen to other people’s problems anymore. But the point she wanted to convey by telling her story, was that while she was in mystery and her world changed forever, her neighbors world and everyone else’s world continued unchanged.

The sun came up the next day, her neighbor came out the next day and picked up his morning newspaper. She likened it to going to the movies, you pay to see a comedy but while everybody else is laughing your screen split and you are watching a horror movie.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Grief from Suicide:

My firsthand experience with, grief, was seeing the pain it caused my daughter when her fiancé committed suicide. His mother called me and I thought she was joking when she said ” The boy killed himself” until she said why would I joke about something like that.

I had the unenviable role of telling my daughter her fiancé was dead. I can still hear her screens of anguish. I didn’t know what to do.

Her world changed. She quit school. She was doing her Masters degree at the time.

She went back later; but I had to call her professors and tell them the situation.

Then she had to deal with the funeral and the burial.

I didn’t know what to do, what to say or how to help her with her, grief.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

The therapist said that most people don’t know what to do or say.

Because our culture spins the tale that life must go on and that everything has a purpose.

She feels that is bullshit to sat that her husband died, so that she can use her pain to help other people. What she is doing now.

She said you can’t tell a mother who lost her baby that God had better plans for the child.

We will go through her suggestions for helping others deal with, grief, and what you can do to help later on in this blog

Here is how to deal with, grief from incarceration: Grief Counseling,

In the co-host chair is Arifah Yusuf Mortley, registered social worker, mental health counselor and founder and program director of Lifted by Purpose.

How is, grief from incarceration, similar to losing a loved one in death?

In my experience I have supported both clients in, grief counseling, dealing with, grief, of a loved one who died and secondary loss, such as losing a loved one to incarceration. When speaking with my clients, dealing with the loss of a loved one, I always listen and provide the space and opportunity for them to be heard and share their feelings.

It’s important for them to know during, grief counseling, that grief, is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. The more significant the loss, the more intense your, grief, will be.

Emotional reactions of, grief,  can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and despair.

During, grief counseling, clients may associate grieving with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of, grief, but you can also experience intense, grief from incarceration,  or losing a loved one to incarceration.  For example, I had a client who was pregnant and her fiancé was sentenced to 6 years in prison.

Grief while incarcerated

Even though he did not die the, grief, was intense from her watching him get sentenced and taken away the same day, delivering their baby without him present, and raising their child on her own.  She would drive 3 hours to visit him and 3 hours back home once a month and speak to him as often, as she could afford.

Over time the, grief from incarceration, took a toll on her, as this was not the family life she had envisioned for herself.  Likewise, it was difficult for her fiancé in prison, as he felt he was missing out on the experience of raising their child, and the experience of being the father he promised himself and her, he would be.

He felt disappointment in himself and a disconnection to his family. He also, experienced, grief,  from loosing his freedom, and the ability to provide for his family.  He also grieved missing all the milestones of his child’s life (ie. Missing first words, walk, first day of school, birthdays) and intense worry about their health and safety. As well, wondering if his girl would leave him for someone else. The inevitable of not being able to fully control situations, was an intense loss for them both, and sometimes, she would say it felt as if he was gone and not coming back home.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Steps to helping friends or family members deal with, Grief:

1: Never say get over it or it is for the best.

2: Allow them to grieve. If they want to talk about it listen. They need to feel heard. In fact they will talk about it until they feel heard.

  1. Help them by taking care of daily necessities like child care, cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash, picking up kids from school etc. A person in, grief, is not capable of doing any of these things.
  2. Sit with the thought that time does heal. The therapist went back to work helping others, my daughter went back to school and graduated on time with her Masters degree. She is getting married in December. Anderson Cooper decided to send himself to the war zone and report news. That is how he dealt with his, grief. That launched his career as a reporter.

How to Deal with grief from incarceration or death

Listen and engage  in conversations about the loss, so they can begin to recognize the reality of the loss and confront their own emotions (e.g. loneliness, sadness, helplessness). These stressors include things like thoughts, feelings, actions, and memories that cause us to feel, grief, and focus on the loss.

I share the Tear Model when working with clients, which focuses in on the following.

The Tear Model to help with, Grief

  • Accept the reality of the loss
  • Experience the reality of the loss
  • Adjust to a new life without the person
  • Reinvest in the new reality

I often explain that restorationorientation refers to coping with issues related to secondary changes brought on by the loss (e.g., financial, family demands), and adapting to these issues.

A griever will go between confronting the loss and avoiding the loss.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Helpful ways to cope with, Grief, and Loss

  • Express yourself. Talking to a trust friend, family member or counselor is often a good way to soothe painful emotions.
  • Allow yourself to feel sad. It’s a healthy part of the grieving process.
  • Keep your routine up.
  • Sleep.
  • Listen to music or express your emotions using the arts
  • Connect with your spiritually.
  • Eat healthy and exercise.
  • Avoid drugs and alcohol.
  • Honor your special person and treasure fond memories (drawing, photos, music, and memory box).
  • Connect to nature – go for a walk, breathe in the fresh, focus on what you see outside (i.e. Trees, birds).
  • Make a special memento to perverse a loved one’s memory. Write a letter to the person.
  • Lean on support from friends, family, professional support.
  • Learn about grief resources, support groups, grief professionals.
Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes
Download on iTunes

 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR COPING WITH, GRIEF

How to Heal Your Brokenness

Life After Death: How an Atheist Became a Believer

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-find-the-right-man-the-second-time-around/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3131745/

 

https://www.themarshallproject.org/2017/11/10/the-singular-sorrow-of-grieving-behind-bars

 

How to Find your Passion in Life

Finding your passion in life

Have you found your, passion? Passion, is that burning desire that God placed in your belly at birth.  It is also called your burning bush.

In this episode I reference the Final chapter of my book “Out of the Snares, a story of Hope and Encouragement”

I call this chapter “God’s consuming fire your , passion.

In this chapter of my book  “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” I tell the stories of Walt Disney, Sylvester Stallone, and J.K Rowling. These are 3 examples of ordinary people who accomplished extraordinary things because they were able to convert their passion, the fire in their belly, into its monetary equivalent. Their passion was like a “burning bush” deep within their souls and they were driven to consummate this burning desire.

Free Download: Out of the Snares, How to Heal your Brokenness
Out of the Snares

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”

— Field Marshal Ferdinand Foch

What is Passion

Passion it is that thing that you were created to do. The thing that makes you feel good when you are doing it, like you transcended your body and entered the heavens. The thing that you would do all day for free.

What was Kobe Bryant burning bush? His Passion

Kobe Bryant was born with a purpose, he got the genes and the physical attributes to be a basketball player but;  he had to engage his, passion. 

Purpose  is what you were placed on the earth to do, it is  your contribution to mankind. The first way to uncover your, passion, is to find out what holds your interest and what you love doing.  God gave you your gift of purpose, and you’re not always passionate about your purpose; but if you can marry it to your, passion, it’s like pouring gasoline on the fire. You have to feed your, passion. That’s what  Kobe Bryant did and that is why he is a Legend. No one out worked him, he wanted to be the best and win championships. 

Sponsored AD

“Get the HOT New best selling book “ Memoirs of a Senators wife” now available free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription.  Memoirs of the senators wife  FREE for a limited time for so DOWNLOAD NOW . ”

One of the self-evaluation questions I ask my new coaching clients is “If you were the Power-ball winner of $500,000,000. What would you do with your time?” You see, when you take away the need to earn money, then your head becomes clear as to what your passion really is.

In my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” I tell the stories of Walt Disney, Sylvester Stallone, and J.K Rowling. These are 3 examples of ordinary people who accomplished extraordinary things because they were able to convert their passion, the fire in their belly, into its monetary equivalent. Their passion was like a “burning bush” deep within their souls and they were driven to consummate this burning desire.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean

For Walt Disney it was drawing and Art. Walt started drawing as an ambulance driver in the army. Then he became a commercial artist.  After being let go from his company, he decided to start his own graphics company. His company failed from bad management. Walt had a string of failures that included bankruptcy before he found success.  He married Art with imagination and created the happiest place on earth. His passion for drawing birth an empire that has gross revenues today in the billions of dollars.

Walt Disney World is now visited by over 5 million families every year, Annual cash flow from Disney’s consortium of products and films are in excess of 21 billion dollars.  It includes 535 Disney stores, a cable television station, amusement parks in Orlando, California, Paris and more. All because he would not let the fire in his belly die.

So what would you do for free?

How did Sylvester Stallone Find his, Passion?

Sylvester Stallone was born disabled. He suffered injury at birth that left one side of his mouth deformed and caused him to speak funny. Sylvester’s passion was born from being hungry. Like Les Brown would say “You got to be Hungry” Sylvester was broke and hungry. He was walking the street one day, cold and hungry and he decided to go into a library to stay warm. Laying on the table was a book about a fighter who overcame odds to win.

That inspired Sylvester Stallone to go write the Rocky story. He wrote that story in one sitting. He did not stop for 20 hours. That inspiration was the gasoline that lit the fire that God put inside him. Again he married passion with imagination and wrote a story that resonated with each and every one of us. The story of Rocky. It made him a millionaire many times over.

“When you set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn.”

— John Wesley

Sponsored AD

Are you into fashion? Are you in need of things for your home? Look no further, BENJAMIN is a leading online accessory boutique that carries a wide variety of essential, yet overlooked and sometimes hard to find fashion, home and travel accessories. From the minimalist to the ultra-luxury, it is showcased here. www.thebenjaminshop.com

https://thelogicalindian.com/story-feed/get-inspired/inspirational-success-story-of-sylvester-stallone-rags-to-riches/

Back in the day, Stallone was a struggling actor in every definition. At some point, he got so broke that he stole his wife’s jewelry and sold it. Things got so bad that he even ended up homeless. Yes, he slept at the New York bus station for 3 days. Unable to pay rent or afford food. His lowest point came when he tried to sell his dog at the liquor store to a stranger. He didn’t have money to feed the dog anymore. He sold his dog for $25. He says he walked away crying.

Two weeks later, he saw a boxing match between Mohammed Ali and Chuck Wepner and that match gave him the inspiration to write the script for the famous movie, ROCKY. He wrote the script in 20 hours! He tried to sell it and got an offer for $125,000 for the script. But he had just ONE REQUEST. He wanted to STAR in the movie. He wanted to be the MAIN ACTOR, Rocky himself. But the studio said NO. They wanted a REAL STAR.

They said he “Looked funny and talked funny”. He left with his script. A few weeks later, the studio offered him $250,000 for the script. He refused. They even offered $350,000. He still refused. They wanted his movie, but NOT him. He said NO. He was not selling out, if they did not cast him, they couldn’t buy his script. It worked.  They wanted the script so badly, that they cast his as Rocky and history was made.

What is exactly the, Meaning of, Passion 

Passion,  is that which deeply stirs us or a developmental perspective, so it’s like the essence of our commitment.  Passion is the thing that drives us. You might hear older individuals say they “lost their will to live,” that means they lost their passion, their fuel.   Just like a child requires love to grow, we require passion to continue to grow inside. 

When we selectively share our, passion,  we engage the universe to manifest our, passion. 

It’s like putting gasoline on your fire when you engaged your, passion.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

How did J.K Rowling Find Her, Passion?

J.K Rowling was a single parent, a divorcee and out of work. On a train ride from Manchester to London she got the inspiration to create the Harry Potter story. But she was already a published author. Writing her first book at 6 years old and another at 11 years old. She became an English teacher because her passion was writing. Ms Rowling says

Failure stirs the fire in your belly to do something about your passion.

In 2015  J.K. Rowling’s 2008 Harvard commencement speech was published under the title ‘Very Good Lives: The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination’

Sponsored AD

If you have a special occasion and you need to get that special person a special gift then head to

Watchshopus.com

If you need jewelry, watchshopus.com has it all

If you need more than a reason to shop

Use promo code “holiday 20” to save 20% off

Shop with confidence at watchshopus.com

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

My, passion, is learning, building and imparting. As a Life coach, author and motivational speaker, I am constantly learning, building and imparting into the lives of others.   I could do it all day and I do it for free.

Find your, passion!

“There is no greater thing you can do with your life and your work than follow your passions – in a way that serves the world and you.” Richard Branson

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

 

How to find your Passion in life

What I encourage people to do is to focus on the positive at all times.  If they remove the negative, those emotional vampires, they will let the light in. Once you move away or walk away or even run away from negativity, you can begin to find your,  passion in life. Be passionate about whatever you desire, it doesn’t matter what it is, be passionate about it by surrounding yourself with those people who are similar in Life or those people who have already done it. 

I remember people talking about Diana Ross, one of my favorite people. They were so upset with her for continually surrounding herself around for White people, and she told them she surrounds herself with anyone regardless of color who is going in the same direction as she or where she wants to go. 

The common complaint among a lot of people is that they need to, ‘find their passion.’

Sponsored AD

Hypnosis-Everywhere with Ines Simpson explores, dissects, discusses and opens up the world of Hypnosis. You will discover that Hypnosis is a very big world indeed. In Hypnosis-Everywhere, Ines offers you tools and answers to deal with that tricky mind of yours, and proven ways to enrich your life.

Fears, Anxieties, Phobias, PTSD, Body health, Mind Health, Spiritual Health are just some of the things Hypnosis works for. Hypnosis-Everywhere is a show about our minds and the miracles we can achieve for ourselves and each other

webpage https://hypnosis.simpsonprotocol.com/hypnosis-on-the-radio

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio
Sponsored AD

Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now: find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose.

The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walkthrough of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan of going after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.

Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. ..That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

Additional Resources How to Find Your Passion

http://blog.myhelps.us/8-find-your-passion-it-is-your-burning-bush/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-win-at-the-game-of-life/

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-difference-between-passion-and-desire

https://www.forbes.com/sites/timothyjmcclimon/2018/11/12/purpose-vs-passion-in-leadership-which-do-you-need-most/

5 Differences Between Finding Your Passion and Finding Your Purpose

How to Stop Self Sabotaging Behaviors

Self sabotaging behaviors, move us in the opposite direction from our goals. When we understand the patterns that underlie, self sabotage, we begin to free ourselves.

We then begin to allow ourselves to interact with ourselves and the world with greater success, joy, and fulfillment. The process of breaking through denial, facing your fear, anger, and other difficult emotions, and making peace with your pain, leads to an ending of the internal war with yourself.

You can step fully into the greatest expression of yourself. Finding the wisdom inside the wounds you’ve endured is one of the most important conversations you’ll ever have with yourself about, self sabotage, because on the other side of it is the emotional freedom and depth of joy that you were born to have.

Introduction to, Self Sabotaging Behaviors

In this interview Sabrina Johnson, inspirational Speaker and Author,  talks on how she overcame different aspects of, self sabotaging behaviors, because of her lack of self confidence and negative self talk. Overcoming, Self Sabotage, and taking Inventory of your failures is one way to stop, self defeating behavior.

Whatever form it takes – whether, self sabotaging behaviors, or limiting thought patterns; self sabotage,  always diminishes the passion and energy we need to fulfill our dreams. At the heart of the matter, it is possible to create as much love, fulfillment, success and joy as we feel worthy of having. By identifying how your inner saboteur is, self sabotaging,  your life, you can make radical progress toward that which you want.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

Overcoming, Self Defeating,  behavior by changing your Mindset

Mindsets are beliefs – beliefs about yourself and your most basic qualities.

Think about your intelligence, your talents, your personality. Are these qualities simply fixed traits, carved in stone or can you cultivate and grow these traits?

Your intelligence is not a fixed quantity which cannot be increased. With practice, training, and above all method, we can increase our attention, our memory, our judgment and become more intelligent than we were before.

In a, Fixed Mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits thus the, self defeating, behavior

In a Growth Mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.

The, Fixed Mindset, is a, Defeated Mindset

The, fixed mindset, creates an internal dialogue that is focused on judging. e.g

  • “I am a loser”
  • “I am the giver in this relationship and I get nothing in return”
  • “I am a no good husband”
  • “My partner is selfish only thinks about himself”

People with a, growth mindset,  are sensitive to positive and negative information; but they’re attuned to its implications for learning and growing. They ask themselves “What can I learn from this” How can I improve “How can I help my partner do better.

Self sabotage
Self sabotage

How to Overcome, Self Sabotage, at Work

I have always been someone who spent years trying to move my life forward I always say that I am a dreamer;  but the problem was I made decisions and choices in my life that counteracted that data.  I told myself I wanted to move forward; but everything that I did was, self sabotage, my behavior caused me to move backwards.

If I stopped and did an honest self-assessment and really seek God for direction on what am I needed to do. I would figure out  why  I was  seemingly repeating the same, self sabotaging, cycles in my life.  It was at that point that I began to really recognize certain, defeated mindsets, or negative truth about myself that I held  about myself subconsciously that was preventing me from moving forward and continuing these, self defeating behaviors.

For instance I’ll give you an example. I am very career-driven, so I desire to move up the career ladder.  I have a master’s degree in marketing;  but whenever I went to apply for a director level or VP level positions, I get intimidated and, self sabotage, by talking myself out of applying for that position. I would apply and start working at a lower position and then the next couple of months I’m miserable.

Inevitably my employer would see in me what I couldn’t see in myself and they would give me more responsibility. Then I would complain about being overworked and underpaid.  My, defeated mindset, would make me, self sabotage, and take a lower position than I was qualified for.  Then I would leave these jobs because it wasn’t what I wanted and then the cycle would begin all over again at another company.

I had to say OK God I need your help.  Give me the courage to jump in even though I felt fear.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

What is a, Defeated Mindset

Myrna: Let me not skip over this huge opportunity to ask you Sabrina. Since you’ve done whole bunch of self-assessments,  why did you have a, defeated mindset, and, self sabotage,  yourself all those years?  Why did you not have confidence in your abilities?

Sabrina: That is a great question Myrna,  and that was something I had to really pinpoint.  I was listening to a speaker and he said when you lack self-confidence, somewhere along the line in your life someone fed into your mind that you were not good enough. That you were not worthy enough.  I started looking back on past unhealthy relationships and past hurts and start to really connect the guys who rejected me.  Hurts from past relationships.

I had to rely on my faith and ask God for guidance. Outside of that I read a lot of self-help books and articles on how to overcome a, defeated mindset,  how to build your confidence and how to speak with confidence;  but a lot of it, the core of it really has to go back to the words that I was speaking to myself.  So when I started to get intimidated by the Job description, I would remind myself that I have done this job in the past.  You’re not going to take a different role in the company then do this job and not get paid for it. I started being my own cheerleader.

Sponsored AD

Hey all you future recording artists of the world,  do you need a music video produced for your completed song; but just don’t have the high-priced budget they charge to get it produced.  Well this is your lucky day. World video marketers is offering you the opportunity of a lifetime.  We will produce you a high-quality music video of your song for the amazing one-time price of only five hundred ninety five dollars $595.00 complete.  You heard correct just five hundred ninety five dollars,  saving you thousands of dollars. All you need to do is send

us your track and theme and we will have your music video completed within five business days. This is a limited time offer only good till the end of September. Let World Video Marketers make your dreams a reality.  For more info on how to get started call us at 888 633-9313 let’s get your music video ready for the world to see and the exposure you deserve. The end of September is the cutoff date call us now.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Here are 4 steps to Overcome, Self Sabotage 

  1. Become aware of your emotions. Your emotions are the language of your body.
  2. Change your emotions by thinking of want you want. Eg. You have applied for a promotion 2 times now and you keep being passed over. A, defeated mindset, says I am never going to get this job I had better get used to this and begin to, self sabotage, Instead imagine yourself in this new position. Feel in your body how it would feel to sit at that desk with your name on the door.
  3. Your emotions will change and so will your body. It believes it is living in the future now.
  4. That’s the way to get over, self sabotaging behavior. Change your brain to change your life.
Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

 Additional Resources on Overcoming, Self Sabotage, 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-self-destructive-behavior/201512/understanding-self-destructive-dysregulated-behaviors

https://lonerwolf.com/self-destructive-person/

A Guide to Changing Self-Destructive Behaviors

 

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-does-emotional-intelligence-affect-your-success/

http://blog.myhelps.us/5-mindset-transformations-permanent-relationships/

How to Heal After being Abandoned

life lessons from an abandoned girl

Being, abandoned, by  a loved one cuts deeply in the heart resulting in emotional, abandonment.  It is the result of a significant person discarding you, dismissing you, devaluing you, or not acknowledging you. This type of invisible injury causes great harm to the recipient.  In fact, the term “recipient” is ironic because often the recipient receives nothing; which is the problem.

Regardless if you are, abandoned by your parents, a lover, a friend, a sibling. The feeling of, not being enough, overwhelms those who are, abandoned. No one sees it and it tends to go underground in terms of abuse. Victims simply feel empty and invisible.

Sponsored Ad

Hello everyone out there! I just wanted to take a brief moment to share with you a major credit secret that most people are not even aware of that can help you with your credit needs.

In this day and age I think we all know how important good credit is and how credit is tied to everything we do from buying a house, a car, a job, an apartment, insurance, virtually everything comes down to your credit history.

The Problem is many of us have made mistakes or just run into circumstances beyond our control dealing with credit. The good news is that SecondCreditProfile.com can help you legally establish a new personal or business credit profile. This is the biggest secret that credit agencies don’t want you to know about. I encourage you to check out SecondCreditProfile.com for more information. Thank you

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Here are the top 3 reasons for feeling, Abandoned:

  • Devalued and rejected by others
  • Abandoned, by our parents
  • Feelings of, not good enough,  because we have lack.

When the, abandonment, wound is caused by an absent parent. When one of your parents has chosen to not be in your life, this cuts deeply. There is no easy explanation to be found by those who’ve been abandoned by a parent. Some try to make the best of the situation, ignoring that fact that they don’t have this parent in their lives; but the damage is still the same.  There are life-long consequences to parental abandonment.

Children in the foster care system that have been, abandoned, by their parents never regain their self-esteem. They look are other kids who have their parents and feel worthless. They end up most time becoming promiscuous because they look for love in all the wrong places.

Some learn to cope in different ways. Some pretend it doesn’t matter; some question their worth; others may be openly angry.  With, abandonment, comes defense mechanisms.

Sponsored AD

Are you a high-achieving woman of color who struggles with imposter syndrome, procrastination, and self-sabotage?

Are you tired of going to bed each night hoping that tomorrow will be a better day, only for it to be more of the same?

Are you sick of empty affirmations that make you feel good but don’t actually lead to change?

Are over being shamed and yelled at to “do the work!” with no insight as to HOW to get it done?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then friends, check out the Productive on Purpose podcast. this podcast is for you! Search “Productive on Purpose” on your favorite podcast player to listen today!

Oh, and if you struggle with procrastination, go to planning.productivepurpose.com to download your free “Planning for Procrastinators” guide. It’s time to start walking in our purpose, y’all.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Sponsored AD

Just a young girl chasing her dream. SUNNI hare care is an organic line aiming to promote and maintain healthy hair in the African American community. I personally hand fill and label each bottle to perfection. This line is meant to be fun Please visit my website Sunni-hair products.myshopify.com
Follow the instagram page for updates @sunnihaircare

Abandoned, by Love

Most women who were, abandoned, end up in unhealthy relationship with narcissistic men who abuse them and, abandon, them again.  This pattern is repeated often.

Women who have been, abandoned, could be likened to a cracked vase. If you have been broken from, abandonment, then you can’t hold love, you can’t hold self-esteem, you can’t hold purpose, everything pours out of you.

It takes work to heal your cracks.  The first step in is to identify that you are broken from, abandonment.

Sponsored AD

Are you into fashion? Are you in need of things for your home? Look no further, BENJAMIN is a leading online accessory boutique that carries a wide variety of essential, yet overlooked and sometimes hard to find fashion, home and travel accessories. From the minimalist to the ultra-luxury, it is showcased here. www.thebenjaminshop.com

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Identifying your, Abandonment, Feelings

Once you have identified your, abandonment, issue and have processed through some of the feelings there are some other imagery exercises you can to do heal yourself. These are described below:

  1. Identify the part of you that is hurt. This can be labeled as your, “hurt inner child.” If the source of your hurt occurred in adulthood, this does not matter because the wound of, abandonment, most likely put you in a regressive state of mind.  You have likely regressed emotionally to a younger, more helpless age. Use imagery and visualize this inner child.
  2. Now imagine the part of you that is healthy and compassionate. This part of you is going to be instrumental in your healing from being, abandoned. You must come to the rescue of your inner, hurt self by offering love, time, empathy, hope, and encouragement.
  3. In addition to the hurt, abandoned, part of yourself, identify your coping mechanisms – particularly any personas or sub-selves that act out; the part of you that is trying to compensate for the hurt experienced by the abandonment of your loved one. Identify parts of you that are trying to respond to the hurt in an unhealthy manner.
  4. Talk to your inner hurt, abandoned, child. Assure her of her value and worth. Be present for her in a real and tangible way.

In the end, no matter who has hurt you, no matter how affected you may be from the resulting injury from, abandonment, you still have a life to live. Even if you have an ache in your heart for the missing person, you can still thrive in life; find hope and love, and live well. You do this by honoring your feelings, acknowledging the loss, validating the consequences of the loss, and enjoying your life.

Sponsored AD

Hypnosis-Everywhere with Ines Simpson explores, dissects, discusses and opens up the world of Hypnosis. You will discover that Hypnosis is a very big world indeed. In Hypnosis-Everywhere, Ines offers you tools and answers to deal with that tricky mind of yours, and proven ways to enrich your life.

Fears, Anxieties, Phobias, PTSD, Body health, Mind Health, Spiritual Health are just some of the things Hypnosis works for. Hypnosis-Everywhere is a show about our minds and the miracles we can achieve for ourselves and each other

webpage:  https://hypnosis.simpsonprotocol.com/hypnosis-on-the-radio

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

How the, Abandonment,  wound plays out in relationships:

  • Oversensitivity to criticism or feedback
  • Overreacting to conflict
  • Becoming a pleaser
  • Anxiety and fear of the other person leaving
  • Ending relationships early before the other person has a chance to leave
  • Jealousy or suspicion that your partner will hurt, cheat, or leave even when there’s no sign of malicious behavior
  • Self-doubt, insecurity, and lack of self-worth
  • Staying in an abusive relationship for fear of being alone
  • In more extreme cases of being deeply triggered during events such as break-ups, a divorce, or a loss:one might feel a total loss of control over their emotions, hyper-reactivity, anxiety attacks, fear, insomnia, weight loss or gain, and obsessive thoughts or behavior.

An, abandonment, wound is invisible to the eye, but it leaves telltale signs in how we relate to the external world, how we feel internally and how we behave in our relationships. It can have us spend our whole lives running from perceived danger. To test someone’s love like a straw that inevitably breaks, then using their resignation as evidence we’re living in an unsafe world. It can cause us to blindly accept the bad behavior of others, ignoring our own needs and prevent us from having a strong, powerful voice.

Sponsored AD

Did you start your New Year’s resolutions yet? I bet there’s one missing that you should add right now, and this is find a greater sense of purpose in your life. To do that effectively, you need to understand the eight key components of living with purpose. The new book, The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel, is a complete step-by-step walkthrough of how humans derive meaning from their existence. This book helps you to identify what really matters to you in life, define a clear plan to go after what you want, and grow toward fulfilling your true calling.

Best of all, this book does not tell you how to live your life or which goals you should have. Instead, it helps you figure it out for yourself. That’s what you really want—someone in your corner helping you make sense of your life, not someone with their own agenda telling you what to do.

This book is a life-changer, and I recommend you go out and get it now. The Meaning of Life: A guide to finding your life’s purpose by Nathanael Garrett Novosel. Now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books. Order today!

Additional Resources Abandonment

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-single-women-find-love/

How to Heal Your Brokenness

http://blog.myhelps.us/10-ways-childhood-trauma-impact-adults-in-love/

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-the-effects-of-childhood-trauma-4147640

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201706/4-ways-childhood-trauma-impacts-adults