The, fluid mindset, has the power to liberate and bind at the same time! Liberate from the templated and structured thinking patters and ability to bind to vague, uncertain, untested and new ways of thinking and expressing oneself! It is when these new pathways are walked upon that magic gets created and we see them manifest in the usual ways of creative or innovative breakthroughs all around us!
What mindset are you working with? Do you have a, fluid mindset, or a, fixed mindset?
Is your mindset flexible?
Is your, mindset fluid?
Or do you have a, fixed mindset? Which could be good or bad depending on what it’s fixed on.
When we talk about the, psyche, the, psyche, being your sense of, self-consciousness. Why do we need, renewing of your mind, in your sense of, self-consciousness? Because it’s our sense of awareness, our sense of, self-worth. It also is our mental and emotional health, so if your, mind, is not flexible, you need work in your sense of awareness.
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The Flexible Mindset
Some people who are not self-aware or there’s some people who suffer from, low self-esteem, or there’s some people who are damaged mentally and emotionally. If you don’t have a, flexible mindset, which means pliable then you will resist God doing the eternal work in your, psyche, to, transform your mind. So, in order for, transformation, to occur you have to have a, flexible mindset.
There can be no, transformation, if you’re unwilling to change.
Conversely a, fluid mindset, means that you are evolving, you are open to change. If you don’t have a, fluid mindset, you internalize and have what some call “stinking thinking.” You have a toxic, mindset, about yourself or about people. For instance oftentimes when people experience hurt in a relationship, they’ll say I’ll never trust another man again or I’ll never trust another woman again.
So, if you don’t have a, fluid mindset, you’re not willing to let that hurt go and embrace truth.
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The third, mindset, you mentioned was a, fixed mindset. Just like when we lay concrete, we have to do the work before the concrete sets, because once it sets it’s fixed. So, we have to be careful what we let set in our minds. We have to do the work while the concrete is fluid and pliable.
A, fixed mindset, is like set concrete.
Renewing the mind, is like renovation of a house. You’ve got to rip out things, knock down walls or beliefs before you can put in the new things or new learnings.
When we’re inviting God to, transform your mind, then we have to understand our, psyche, our, self-consciousness, and our heart. That’s why, the mind, is so important because it is connected to all of these aspects of the human person and they’re all interrelated yet distinct.
The Fluid Mindset is not set like Concrete
Myrna – Someone with a, fixed mindset, like concrete why did you say that God can use this person?
In the, Life coaching, world, when we talk about a, fixed mindset, we’re saying that there’s no growth in this person. But if your, mind, is set like concrete, is it possible for it to be changed?
Pastor Glover – Well yes but again you must have awareness of your, fixed mindset. You can get at that concrete two different ways. Through, transformation, which speaks to internal work that has to be done. The word, transformation, comes from the Greek word metamorphosis and so that speaks of going through a, transformation, but it starts from the inside out.
The other word that’s used is, renewing, which literally has to do with renovating. When concrete sets, the only way to change it is to get a jackhammer and that’s very painful work. People oftentimes will not choose to do that work, because it is painful, noisy, and messy. But if you’re going to lay a new foundation in your life, you must do the, mental, emotional and spiritual work to jackhammer a, fixed mindset.
Myrna – How can God use a jackhammer to change that, fixed mindset?
Fixed mindset in marital relationships
Pastor Glover – I think an example in the context of, relationships, particularly in the context of, marital relationships, a lot of work that has to be jackhammered in counseling sessions really has to do those, fixed mindsets, about marriage that have been set, but are toxic and are not healthy.
Couples have very different ideas about the foundation of a, marriage, and what it should be about. It is really about how men and women are socialized in our society. Young girls are socialized towards inter interdependent relationships. That’s means they play together, they share much more readily than men do. They are invested in group success as they are reared and everybody kind of having a good time.
Boys are socialized totally different. They are taught to stand on your own two feet, be independent. Be a man, don’t share your emotions. So, men are much less equipped than women in, marital relationships, to handle a, fixed mindset, that’s why women are 10 times more verbal than men.
One of the fun exercises I like to do when I’m dealing with, communication, is I’ll ask the man and the woman to get a sheet of paper and have each one writes me all the feeling words they are aware of. The woman’s list is four times longer than the man,
Spiritual psychology, is a lens that we look through that teaches us everything that’s happening in our life, is happening for us. That all of our challenges are beautifully designed opportunities, or I should say beautifully disguised opportunities giving us the steppingstones, we need to grow and evolve and transform. It is a, personal transformation, tool that helps us into our next level of protection to really fulfill our intelligence, which is the fullest realized expression of who we come here to be in this life.
Donna: Spiritual psychology, is really a technology that was innovated and pioneered by doctors Ron and Mary Holman at the University of Santa Monica. Spiritual psychology, is a lens that we look through that teaches us everything that’s happening in our life is happening for us. That all of our challenges are beautifully designed opportunities, or I should say beautifully disguised opportunities. Giving us the steppingstones, we need to grow and evolve and transform into our next level of protection to really fulfill our intelligence, which is the fullest realized expression of who we come here to be in this life.
And that’s what it is. It’s a perspective, right? It is a way to see the world and when we start seeing the world as if everything that’s happening is really this beautifully designed opportunity for us to grow and learn and change and evolve. And we start seeing the world from an empowered place, rather than seeing the world from a place of feeling victimized by life circumstances and life’s happenstance of life’s craziness.
Myrna: That is actually quite good. And I would get as you’re talking, I’m imagining myself in a coaching session, and you’re talking to someone, and they are saying Oh, my life has been very bad, and all these different things happened to me. And then you can turn that around and say, you know what, what did this teach you? What do you think that this revealed to you? What strengths did you bring out of that? That is a, spiritual psychology, session.
I am actually loving it. Now you guys are calling it a different name. But the Bible teaches that everything happens for your good. Actually, it’s one of the scripture verses that I that I adhere to, and it’s one of my foundation scriptures is that yes, everything happens for your good. So now that I’ve opened that door, so how do you use, spiritual psychology, as a, transformation tool, in your coaching sessions?
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Heart centered listening is one of the principles of spiritual psychology
Donna: Well, there are 33 principles and practices of, spiritual psychology. And so, I use each of these principles and practices to support the client in doing their life from a different place. And you know, two of our foundational skills the University of Santa Monica has entitled the skill, heart centered listening, and I call it, heart centered listening. The original name for seeing the loving essence I have renamed to big acknowledgement. A big acknowledgement is the recognition that you and I are, spiritual beings, on this epic human adventure. And when I recognize you also as a, spiritual being, having this public human adventure, then there’s something about that that makes us the same.
And when we begin to recognize that for every single person on the planet, then we can really recognize that we really are all one and we’re all in this together. We’re all facing the same challenges and the same trials and the same opportunities. You know, we all are in club human together, having this human experience.
Heart centered listening, is really about it’s about what you do all day in your in your job Myrna with these podcasts that you do and like deeply listening to another person giving them the space to share from a center heart opened place where they are free to explore their own consciousness. And download from the infinite universe kind of trickle into the conversation. And when we invite that, infinite intelligence, into the conversation, who knows what’s going to happen? That is why we call it, spiritual psychology.
Myrna: I love it. Yes, yes. You’re talking my language girl. Yeah, I you know, we are all love. I love Deepak Chopra. And you know, Deepak Chopra always says that we are all, spiritual beings, having a, human experience, manifesting through a, central nervous system. So, each one of us is manifesting, through our individual, human nervous system. But eventually we’re all we’re all connected.
One of the one of the things that he says, and I was even meditating on this morning, is that we’re all like a wave in the ocean. We’re all part of the ocean and each one of us is a wave. And so, what you are saying is beautiful. And you are correct when you recognize that we’re all one, and we’re all spirit and we’re all connected, that changes your perception on your struggles. Is that what you are calling, spiritual psychology?
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Spiritual psychology is the gateway to acceptance of our humaneness
Donna: Well, yes, it’s one way that you can go with it. And, you know, the longer I’m on this spiritual path, the more I realized it’s really about loving my humaneness. And I think a big gateway to, transformation, and how I work with my clients is really inviting them into a deeper level of reverence for their, human experience, a deeper level of acceptance for the human. A deeper level of acceptance for ourselves, you know, for how we fall short of our own aspirations in life, and how we relate to ourselves, when we’re going through something difficult.
That’s really where we have an opportunity to have a different experience in our life. I love what you were sharing about Deepak Chopra. And one of the things that the way that I like to say it is we are all unique, individualized expressions of, the Divine. And no two of us are the same, right? Every single one of us is this gorgeous depiction of, the Divine. And how magnificent is that? And it’s quite a miracle.
And it’s quite miraculous, but we overlook it on a regular basis. And so, I helped people slow down and tune in so that they can begin to recognize their power, the real power, the power that comes from inside of us, not the power that we think that we get from our job or for money or from a status position or anything like that. Helping people to recognize that they have this inherent power within them. And that power is a source of our aliveness. That is that power is the source of our expression out in the world as a drop in, the Divine.
Myrna: Very true. It’s actually very powerful. Very powerful, because, you know, one of the reasons that I concentrate so heavily on the, mind, is because that’s where it starts. It’s how you think is your thoughts is your thought process. And, yeah, once you recognize that, that you’re limitless, that you’re powerful, that you actually shape your destiny and that is all part of, spiritual psychology.
It doesn’t just happen, you’re shaping it by your thoughts and if you feel empowered, or if you feel a victim, you know, that’s basically my story as well. Yeah, you got to realize, you have power and instead of being stuck, you have the power to change your life, if it’s going in one direction, just like you did. You figure that yeah; I am just on a treadmill. And what did you do? You did something about it, right? You didn’t stay there and wait until you’re 65 and then say, you know, my life has been terrible.
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Reclaiming our authentic power
Now, one of the other things that we were talking about is how can we use consciousness to reclaim our, authentic power.
Donna: We have to become present, be in the, present moment, Myrna? We’re all so caught up in the future with the two dues right? We got to go here. We got to do this. We got to do that. And our mind, you know, our attention and our energy go into the future. Or we’re stuck in the past, right? We’re obsessing about I should have said this, or I should have done that. And we’re caught up in yesterday and what really is over that we can’t even change. But when we can be here in this, present moment, right now, and place our energy and our intention on person, the situation whatever is right in front of us. Then we are tapping into our, consciousness, in the highest way that we can at the time.
Myrna: Right. Yeah, that’s pretty good. Yes, because yes, consciousness, is definitely being present and nothing happens outside of the, present moment. A lot of people are always in the past or the future. But change only happens in the, present moment. So, that’s pretty good. All right. Now one of the things that you do in your in your work, is you talk about the, power of the I AM. So, talk to us about how you help your clients to using, I AM, to pivot for to help with their, transformation.
Donna: Thank you so much for asking this question. I see this as one of the most powerful tools that we all have in our toolbox. And it’s the two little, teeny tiny words, I AM, because when we say those words, we are making a declaration. We are making a proclamation to the universe. And so, I invite your listeners to just pay attention. What comes attached to these two little words in your life? Are you walking around saying, I am, tired? I am, exhausted. I am, sick. I AM, whatever. Because the back story that we’re telling, then those are the results that we are creating.
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And so, I see this as literally like using a magic wand. We are instantaneously reaffirming what we do want to experience, what we do want to occur. So, we can put our attention, our focus on that immediately and begin to say things like,
I AM, doing the best that I can in the moment.
I am, moving towards radiant health and wellbeing.
I am, vitality.
I am perfect, just the way God made me.
I am, accepting all of myself, no matter what society says about you.
So, it’s really a powerful way to change our current reality. And I talk extensively about this. I have a whole chapter called, I AM, or it’s called the responsibility of, I am, in my book “Original Wisdom: Harnessing the Power of the Authentic You.”
My book really talks about my journey and how I left the corporate arena, and Myrna it wasn’t a straight path. I gotta tell you, it wasn’t hiding guidance. I didn’t wake up one morning and said, I’m going to be a coach. It didn’t happen like that. And as a matter of fact, if you could have told me that I was going to be in these sacred, intimate, loving, connected one on one conversations with people I would have said oh, hell no, that’s never gonna happen. Because the time that my journey began, the, mindset, that I had, was completely different than the, mindset, that I have now.
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Mindset and personal development
Myrna: I know, we’re in the, personal improvement, and, personal development, space, and we grow along with people that we teach. I am listening and learning something every single day so we’re growing in that space. And for me, because I get to speak to excellent guests like yourself, I’m learning, It’s like a school for me. I’m learning from all my guests. And yeah, your, mindset, keeps shifting.
But I want to touch back on that, I am, statement because one of the things that I love saying is, I am the universe, and that’s basically what you were talking about. Earlier, when you said that we are, spiritual beings, right. And we’re part of the Infinite is the fact that, I’m the universe, right? The universe is inside of me. So now you coach, and you have your master’s degree. So why did you write the book and what is it that you want the readers to walk away with, after they put it down?
Donna: The truth is, I was really creating a workshop. I was putting together teaching points. And as I was going through these teaching points, I thought to myself, oh, I have a story for that. You know, I really want to illustrate that in a more visual way, in a way that people can remember or walk away with. And so, as I started compiling all of my stories, I kind of took a step back and I was like, that’s my story. It’s like my whole story. And after a little bit of rearranging, I unfolded, really this path and I don’t tell the story in a chronological way, because of the way in which, I AM, pulled each of the concepts.
Original Wisdom: Harness the power of the authentic you
I deliver a dovetail experience to it so that each of them builds on their previous one. And really, what I want people to walk away with is a sense of that, authentic empowerment, a sense that they are so much more, we are so much more than what we have been taught. And original wisdom is an inherent intelligence in all beings, that is rooted in unconditional love.
And when I think about, our spirit or soul, the energy of that is unconditional love. So, the intention of my book is to help people remember what their needs are. They are made of love. And we just have stuff that stands in the way of that. And that’s really what I help my clients do is remove those blocks, so that they can remember the truth of who they are.
Myrna: I love it. Where can we get a copy of your book and tell us about your website and tell us you know, you’re a coach and you do offer personal transformation coaching. So, tell us tell our listeners how they can get in touch with you.
Donna: All of the information can be found on www.Donnabond.com. And my book, of course, is on Amazon and all of the major book retailers out there “Original Wisdom: Harness the Power of the Authentic You.” And periodically I have a masterclass that I offer called empower the authentic you where I teach live, the concepts that I offer in original wisdom.
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Myrna: What do you credit your, adaptable mindset, to even as a kid?
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Robert: My parents gave me a lot of freedom to explore. The told me, hey, if you want to be an artist or professor, do what makes you happy. I was always photographing crawling around and founded my own photography company when I was like 17 years old. I was very naïve and I thought, hey, I can do this. I was just always failing forward again and again. I noticed that a lot of people haven’t had that upbringing. But it’s not necessarily to have such an upbringing to be able to flow through life.
You can also find it later on, but it takes work and that’s why we found with the, Adaptable mindset program, and like all of our testimonials show that people can find their spark and find their drive can find these different perspectives again. You can make the work fun and you can make the work playful so it’s it doesn’t feel like a work just creating, mental space.
Myrna: When I was growing up, everybody said that, you needed to be a lawyer or a doctor, to be considered successful and they were stuck in that. If they didn’t go to medical school or they didn’t become a lawyer, they kind of felt that they were a failure of some sort, you know what I mean?
So, a, creative mindset, would definitely be an, adaptable mindset. Because in order to have, creativity, you’ve got to let energy flow through, you got to let source flow through. You got to be in touch with and feeling your environment. So that’s probably why you gravitated towards, adaptability, and started your design company at 17. You had that, creativity, almost kind of built in.
So, like I started off by saying, we are, adaptable. As human beings we were born with the ability to be, adaptable. So why do we need that, adaptability? Why do you think that God hardwired us to be, adaptable, people?
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Robert: God did it to everything. From nature to animals otherwise you aren’t able to survive. It’s just a very natural thing to do. Also, if we look at new theories, we also see that it’s not just survival of the fittest and adaptation. It’s also working together and that’s maybe something that we forgot a little bit as humankind. Most of us have heard about survival of the fittest, but not about doing as a collaborative effort. And yeah, I think like everyone also has the ability to have an, adaptable mindset, we make so many silly rules, which narrow our frame of view, which limit our own, creativity.
And then we put upon our children and we teach that limitation in schools as well because we make life simpler than it is. we compartmentalize things at school. So, we deny people who understand the entirety, you are not trained in intuition you’re not trained in in compassion. You’re not trained in imagination. It’s mainly different kinds of sports, more of the art skills and then you get grades. And then if you if you don’t pass your grades, then you’re a failure like entire system is set up to compartmentalize not really help you.
Adaptable mindset in business, is the same in organizations too much compartmentalization. You’re not really valued for your, creativity. And then we have media which is constantly distracting your social media which is railroads are thinking we’re constantly being narrowed in a frame of view we’re being boxed in. And that’s not how we are meant to be meant to be. You should be able to find your own path and do whatever the heck you want actually, as long as it contributes to the to the greater good.
Myrna: When I thing of an, adaptable mindset, I’m thinking along the lines of, adaptable to change. Alright, so let’s take the pandemic. We had to do a lot of changes and we had to, adapt. In fact, they’re saying that we will never go back to where we were before. So, let’s say that, we’re accustomed to the grind of getting up in the morning at six o’clock and taking the train or driving in rush hour traffic to get to work and then all of a sudden, you are stuck at home by yourself.
You don’t have people to talk to, you don’t you don’t have that communication with people. A lot of people got really depressed, because they didn’t have that outlet. So, talk about that kind of, adaptability. Why do we need, adaptability, for things like crisis?
Robert: A lot of people, of course, everyone went through this experience, and some fared better than others. Right? A lot of people indeed became depressed and weren’t really connected anymore to what inspired them. The people who did flourish, often took care of themselves, or went out for walks, did their own exercising, took care of proper nutrition, maybe even getting in touch with the restoration.
So, everyone has to decide. It doesn’t matter if he fails, then you pick up the next one and just keep on expanding the mind even putting new information in and just keep on repeating that. Also being conscious of how the world reacts to it and what the world needs. So okay, now I need to work from home. But what can I do? You can do that by finding different perspectives and assessing how you can get out of the situation or how you can get the most out of it while remaining calm.
The world is very demanding, you need to find that countermeasures to be able to get clarity again and to connect again to what you want to do instead of the outside world.
Most people don’t like change
Myrna: As you were talking, I remembered that a lot of times me personally and some people that don’t like change, right? And anytime that you have opportunity to change, you kind of want to stay the same because you’re comfortable there. But I found that anytime I resist change, and then I leap forward into it, It works out a whole lot better than what I was didn’t want to change from. Who would have thought that people would like to work from home. But now they’re finding reasons that it’s a whole lot better.
You kind of, adapt, to whatever situation you’re in and that’s probably why God programmed us with, adaptability, because things change. Even our wealth and our health, sometimes you can go from, being very wealthy and then you’re poor, and you got to, adapt. People don’t really, adapt, but they at least try. Or you go from being healthy one day to being bed ridden the next day.
You got to find a way to make that work for you. You know what I mean? So, when I think of, adaptability, that’s what I’m thinking of, any situation that has changed, and you got to fix it. One day you are married and you’ve got the second income and all of a sudden, you’re divorced and you now you are a single mom struggling to pay your bills. We all have to develop an, adaptability mindset.
Who moved my cheese
We always resist change. I remember way back when I was in the corporate world, they, you know, one of my companies made us read this book, Who Moved My Cheese, and they made all employees read that book as part of the onboarding training because they know that people hate change, and everybody’s gonna resist change. Corporations hire coaches to help people, adaptability mindset.
What are some of the pros the pros, of an, adaptable mindset?
Robert: If you have an, adaptable mindset, there’s room for growth? You ask yourself, what can I learn from it? If there’s nothing that you can learn from it, just move on.
Myrna: Yeah, there’s always something you can learn even if it’s not what not to do. So, if we find that our personalities are the type of person that we don’t like change, we’re stuck in the same mode. You know, that our parents told us to do, you know what I mean? We’re not growing, we’re not curious. We’re just stuck. How can someone in that space, develop adaptability? Is there like some steps that they can do?
Robert: Yeah, I think it’s very beneficial to start with what you’re curious about. Because what you’re curious about is about, adaptability.
Myrna: A lot of people that are not curious, let’s assume they’re not curious. They’re just gonna do what they know.
Curiosity leads to adaptability
Robert: Well, there’s always something that you can be curious about. It can even be a TV program or channel on discovery or whatever. You do need to have a sense of, curiosity, still in you, otherwise, there needs to be a willingness from the individual. You know, that it starts there. It starts with you taking that step forward, and putting more of the stuff in your life, which inspires you.
And if you find something even if it slightly makes you curious, then keep on exploring and keep on pulling on that thread and through more of that into your life. It could also be that you just feel that your mind is totally overflowing and you don’t have any space, you don’t have any time to be curious.
Myrna: With an, adaptable mindset, you can change because the mindset is your software, right? So, when you have an, adaptable mindset, that means you’re going to be, adaptable, to almost anything in life. So, let’s discuss what is an, adaptable mindset, your definition. How can we develop that mindset?
The adaptable mindset is about openness
Robert: That’s what, mindset, is that you’re always able to find a fresh perspective that you have openness, openness to new ideas is a very large aspect of that. Because openness allows you to see more things. It’s also about expanding our frame of mind. You know, everyone has their own specific frame of mind through which they look through the world.
And sometimes we forget that everyone has their own specific frame of mind, that the frame is like a letterbox issue to the world. It narrows your frame of view whether you notice it or not. So, it’s always a good idea to start chipping away at that frame to try and expand it and expose yourself to art, to movies, to music that it lights up your soul and do that often and maybe less of the Instagram scrolling. Did you know that Kim Kardashian has a new boyfriend? Not really expanding her frame of mind?
Myrna: Yes, a lot of time and other people’s business take up space in our mind. Everyone is now watching Johnny Depp.
Robert: We need to create more brain space to also filter more content, but also work on creating more cognitive flexibility through movement through sports like yoga, meditation, cycling, strength training, all of these things are scientifically proven to create more cognitive flexibility. It makes you better able to deal with uncertainty and ambiguity like strength training, strong mind and body because a strong body equals a strong mind.
Creating mental space
It’s so extremely logical, but we are we’ve become such sedentary creatures and we’re always sitting in a chair on our phone. And of course, you’ll be more flexible because you’ve got such so much data of solutions and possibilities and your, subconscious mind, is able to make new connections. The other important thing is it’s what you see with people who have great scientific discoveries Nobel Prize winners. All of these people, they also have, mental space.
And they had ways to sort of resynthesize what they experienced by playing violin, doing juggling unicycling going for long walks, going sailing, and doing that for hours. When do we still take time ever do nothing? Absolutely nothing. Or just react to something like violin or go for a walk. It’s often that we have a second device for doing something else or thinking about something to think different and to speak different as well.
So, what we see is that most people change when they encounter change. They say, Ah, it’s not possible. Oh, that will never happen here. And you know, all like these walls that they put up. And it’s debatable if that is very helpful. But what might be more beneficial is to always think positive and how it could be possible. And just always having that open view.
The Adaptable Mindset program
Myrna: Your, adaptable mindset program, you said that you have helped over 1000 students and a lot of entrepreneurs you know solo entrepreneurs. Tell us about your program.
Robert: So, we have an online program, which is curiosity based, it’s very playful. You can choose your own boss through the program and you can start with our nature game’s philosophy, doesn’t really matter. And just take all your inspiration and expand your mind. There is a masterclass in there as well on how to create, mental space. There is a segment on how to deal with a, fear of failure, like all things that you use during your development, and you can just choose what you need and what resonates with you.
You don’t have to do everything or actually anything at all. I don’t really mind like as long as it actually works for you. So, we’ve got the online program, and then we do workshops, and organizational transformation in these larger organizations as well. And then normally, the first week with Chief Technology Officer head of innovation, head of digital, someone in a leadership position, and then we talk about the ENA company. How other teams are structured, what people are lacking, how to stop being stressed out, these kinds of things and then make a custom program to support people in resolving these challenges. So, you get more creativity, more imagination, more mental space, because that is what most organizations need.
Will Moore is a serial entrepreneur and TEDx speaker. This blog is about replacing your, bad habits, with, success habits, thereby transforming your life.
Habits, are very important. We always say that, it takes 21 days to form a, bad habit, but now some people are actually challenging that. They’re saying it takes about three months or 90 days to form a, habit.
Whatever we do on a consistent basis, it forms a, habit, regardless it is a, bad habit, or, success habit. So, today we’re talking about transforming our lives through, success habits, and replacing the, bad habits. The, habit, that we’re trying to develop is the, success habit, that leads to happiness.
Success habits, generally increase your happiness.
Listen to the full interview here:
Bio and Introduction Bad Habits
Will Moore is a serial entrepreneur, TedX speaker, life coach, and happiness expert. After exiting his delivery startup for $323 million in 2019, Will confirmed what he’d spent the past 25 years researching: True happiness isn’t about money, power, or fame; it’s about figuring out what makes you happy and taking consistent action on those things every single day.
To do this, Will has thrown out the book on traditional, self-improvement, creating instead a unique system that reduces friction by combining the latest in science and technology with, success habits, and universal principles: gamifying the process and building momentum. Will’s company, Moore Momentum, is addressing the “Social Dilemma.” and helping people hold themselves accountable by taking the necessary action to replace their, bad habits, with, success habits.
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5 core areas to build Success Habits
Career & Finances;
Moore Momentum is committed to helping people fire on all cylinders on their way to becoming an unstoppable force, so they can then pay it forward to help the world do the same!
Myrna: Awesome bio. It sounds that you’re very successful. It’s everybody’s dream to have an exit strategy that makes them several million dollars especially 323 million so that is a great foundation. So, what you are doing with More Momentum? Can you tell us how you got into this journey? Understanding that happiness does not come from fame or it does not come from money or it doesn’t come from power as everybody seems to think.
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Understanding Where Happiness Lies
Will: My mom was an alcoholic. She was verbally and physically abusive. My parents divorced early, we moved around a lot. I just never really fit in and I just kind of got to a point where I was basically suicidal in college. Serendipitously one of my professors introduced me to a book, “How to Friends and Influence People” by Mr. Dale Carnegie. It sort of changed my mindset and started to shift me towards what I call a growth owner mindset.
Myrna: I read that book. I found it very difficult to understand but it is a classic.
Will: I’ve read it so many times. It was written back in the 40s some 70 years ago, and still it still stands today which is to me is a testament of the universal principles. These Universal principles in life, if you follow them, if you abide by them, if you lead your life by them and build your, habits, around them, you’re going to succeed.
You’re not going to be happy if you ignore them or try to cheat the system. You’re going to struggle, so that sort of opened up my mind to the principle of friends.
It’s not about you, give to other people if you want to have more friends than you can handle.
I just took that to heart. I started to shift and I started taking all the poor me victim stuff self talk which was a , bad habit, and started asking people questions about themselves. It was like my own human science experiment. I started taking notes, seeing what worked and what didn’t. I noticed people responded well when you took interest in them.
I started making, friends, and was becoming more popular. People actually started liking me, compared to what was constantly being played in my head, “I’m a loser nobody likes me.”
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My #1 Success Habits was reading Self Help Books
I started to live this more holistic type of lifestyle, I call it ‘firing on all cylinders’. When you start to develop these, habits, you’re building momentum and creating, success habits, in each of the 5 core areas. People around you can feel your momentum and your energy. When we sold our solar business in 2019 for a combined 321 million, I had enough money where I could say, okay I don’t technically have to work anymore I can concentrate on building my, success habits.
How did you transition to understanding, bad habits, and, success habits? You started off with, “How to win friends and influence people”, How did you combine that into, habits?
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Changing your Bad Habits into Success Habits
Will: Success habits, were not as integral and central as they are now for me, as I got deeper into, self improvement, I started identifying my, bad habits. I call them, failure habits, and replacing them with, success habits; but I wasn’t doing it consciously.
I didn’t need to shine a spotlight on all my, bad habits, that was causing me, negative momentum, in each of my five core areas. I just decided to replace my, bad habits, with, success habits. The book that brought my, bad habits, home was “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. I read several years ago.
It all comes down to your, habits. You are your, habits. We run on autopilot 90% of the time and we’re just doing the things that we have done repeatedly, whether they’re good or bad and here’s the kicker, habits, don’t care if they’re helping or hurting you. We are all creatures of, habit.
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Your Bad Habits are automatic
Myrna: I go on autopilot mode almost every time I drive so I know what you taking about. I’ll be meaning to go someplace different, next thing I end up at the place where I wasn’t supposed to go.
Will: That’s a perfect example, where your brain is trying to conserve energy. A lot of people have no idea that our brain finds the safest route. To start replacing a, bad habit, find a replacement, success habit.
Myrna: You discovered the, success habits, and the, bad habits, and then you just made it integral to your More Momentum training. Now, let’s get to the Seven the Habits of Successful People. You mentioned that you read the book it was written by Stephen R. Covey and it’s called “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People”.
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Seven Habits of Highly Successful People
Will: One of the things that people do is they get caught up in thinking that certain, habits, are going to lead to the promised land. These seven habits is the formula for being happy, because your belief system plus your repeated actions plus time equals who you will become.
Habit 1: Be Proactive
Habit 2: Begin With the End in Mind
Habit 3: Put First Things First
Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
Habit 6: Synergize
Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
The Book the Secret had the answer to the universe, but they didn’t have the action part of it. It’s like you can’t just think about what you want. You got to actually take action, you have to build your, success habits.
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Action is the way to build your Success Habits
Myrna: I love it, you mean you can’t just put a picture on your vision board and then 10 years later you manifest it?
Will: Right. That’s right exactly. I had a, vision board. I still do sitting right here. You have to take consistent action to manifest your vision.
You have go to tell yourself, I got everything within me to kick ass. It’s only a matter of time. Obstacles are temporary roadblocks and every step of the way, I’m going to fail forward and I’m going to become bigger, better, faster, stronger, smarter, on my way to becoming this unstoppable force. That’s the attitude you got to have, and it doesn’t come easily.
It doesn’t come overnight and that’s why the compounding part – your belief system plus your repeated actions or, habits, plus time equals who you become. Those actions start becoming, habits, and they turn into things that are actually automatically building your, momentum, along the way versus hurting it. That’s how you become the person that you want to be.
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Myrna: What are some, success habits, that we can start doing? Not necessarily talk about the failure or bad habits yet, give us a couple of success habits that you have discovered.
Will: Your, mindset, is essentially the thoughts that are going through your head Some people have the, bad habit, of talking baldly to themselves about themselves. They say things like
You are not good enough
I will never be anybody
People don’t like me
They have a victim mindset that says people are always out to get them.
Some tell themselves things like I was born this way, there is nothing I can do about it
We have to have the, mindset, that that says, you can’t succeed without failing. If you’ve got a good, mindset, going everything else becomes incrementally easier.
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Myrna: I agree with that. That’s why this show is called “transform your mind to transform your life” because your mind is the first place to start, human transformation.
Will: For your career and finances, I’d say very first thing you should do is figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are. Then start focusing on the things you’re good at and make that part of your daily routine. You’re moving that stuff forward and then peripherally the other things that need to be done will get done.
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Whether it’s your significant other, your friends, your family, your colleagues at work, or acquaintances:
Remember details about people,
Be genuinely interested in what they’re saying (you may have to fake it at first, because we’re all selfish egotistical creatures by nature) but what happens is you actually start to see that they respond to you. They’re interested in you, that becomes addictive and then you do become more genuinely interested in them.
It’s this feedback success loop thing you get into and it’s magical and it just propels your life because, you can’t go through life on your own, you got to have other people.
For physical health, I’d say the top, success habits, are:
There’s your sleep,
Watch your nutrition
Movement, there’s your exercising.
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The final tip I would give for the final core emotional health and giving back, I’ll give two tips because they’re kind of slightly different things. For the, emotional health, part the question is
Are you living a life full of passion, purpose?
Do you actually enjoy the ride or are you just constantly like looking down scratching off to do’s”, trying to just get through the day?”
The, habit, of enjoying life and expressing your passion is important.
I would also say proactively making a list of the things that you love and then making sure that you’re incorporating them into your life regularly is a great, success habit. Whether it’s doing a sport or whether it’s creativity if you’re an artist, you like to paint, and you haven’t painted in 10 years. Use technology and sign up for class or get a buddy that you can paint with.
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Get it into your regular routine because again it’s a, habit, like anything else, and if you start doing it then all of a sudden you’re doing it, you don’t even have time for the, bad habits, to get an opening. With a regular routine thoughts like “Oh, I don’t have time for this” or “Oh, I have conflicting schedules” A daily schedule starts to improve your life, because you’re incorporating more of the things that you love and are passionate about.
The last, success habit, is “giving back”. I have a mantra that I say to myself every morning. I’ve memorized it. I focus on all the things that I want in life and then at the end of it, I talk about what I’m grateful for. So, I get this feeling of “Oh, man I’m so lucky and it just boosts me up and rocket propels me into the day because I start happy and excited.
Myrna: I love that. That was a good idea to give a, success habit, from each of your five core areas of life. So as we wrap up, so tell our listeners more about your business – More Momentum. How they can get in contact with you and what exactly is your program.
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Will: https://mooremomentum.com is the website. There’s a “see the Momentum Movement” tab at the top and you can sign up. I’ve got a weekly blog and newsletter that I do at the top. There’s also the social media buttons (Instagram, Facebook and Twitter) My Instagram page is @willmoremomentum. I post viral videos of stuff and I’m trying to make it fun by gamifying the experience. I’m helping people trick their brain into wanting to watch the stuff that’s good for them.
I’ve got the App that’s coming up so I super excited. I think I mentioned briefly earlier, the App it’s going to just take everything I’ve been doing over the last 25 years and culminate it into one device where you can stop your, bad habits, in these five core places and replace them with, success habits.
In the game, you’re a rocket ship. You’ve got your five core cylinders of your engine in order to fly up to the moon and break earth’s gravitational pull. You got to get enough momentum to get off the ground by stopping those, bad habits, and replacing them with, success habits, one step at a time. I make sure I take it through very slowly. Remember the law of compounding – if you rush into it, you try to change everything at once. It’ll never work then all of a sudden you’re flying off to different planets and universes and solar systems and you’re meeting aliens along the way.
You’re getting universal principles and tips flying through asteroid fields building up your armor and becoming an unstoppable force.
It’s super exciting. You can sign up on my website for that as well. If you click on the App, it’ll say “be notified when the App is Available.”
Myrna: I absolutely love it. Wow, so that’s great not only for adults but for children teaching them that they can do anything. If they want to get to the moon or to get to the top of their goals. Whether it’s a, success habit, or a, bad habit, you just keep doing it. It’s actually pretty good to replace those, failure habits, and make them into, success habits, so you can do it.
If you found this blog and podcast inspirational, please subscribe, rate and review The Transform Your Mind Podcast on iTunes. Leave your comments below if you have, bad habits, that you need to change into, success habits.
We are, spiritual, beings having a human experience. Spirituality, is being willing to lower the volume on your, skepticism, and connect to the source. Tracy Litt, author of the Worthy Human shares how we can embrace our, spirituality, and release our emotions to achieve, success.
Tracy Litt is a sought-after success mentor for visionary women leaders that are navigating huge paradigm shifts and elevating into the next level of themselves, so they can seamlessly generate the next level of their impact, wealth, and holistic success. Tracy is a certified mindset coach, spiritual advisor, rapid transformational hypnotherapist, best-selling author, and TEDx speaker.
She is the Founder of The Litt Factor, and creator of Mind Magic ®, a proven methodology that marries metacognition and spirituality, neuroscience and quantum law to expand and elevate more quickly. Her work has served thousands of women across the globe and has been featured in Entrepreneur, Fast Company, Thrive Global, and Inc.com. Her book Worthy Human is a #1 best seller in Spiritual Growth and Mindset.
Myrna: Tell us about how you became a certified mindful mindset coach, or why you became a certified mindset coach.
Tracy: For me I went through a lot of triumph in life, right as all of us have. And I was consistently met with this calling that I’m here to do something deeper. I’m here to work with people on a more transformational level. I was born for impact and positive influence to make a beautiful dent in the progress of our world.
And in order to do that, it really comes down to each one of us doing the work of ourselves on ourselves, to make the ripple effect that actually creates change for the world. And energetic frequency for our generations, our children’s children, all of those beautiful things. So, it was a calling for me to step up into what my capacity was. Yet I wasn’t scratching the surface, because I was living beneath my worth. I’m not enough and I’m not smart enough which we all have in this world.
Myrna: Not being enough always shows up.
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Emotional Suppression comes from feeling not enough
Tracy: It is impossible to be a living, breathing adult and not have an enoughness wound somewhere. Unless you worked on it already, because the nature of the way our psyche works and how we know things happen in our upbringing. And the way we ingest things and make it mean something when we’re little, we always make it mean something about us, and then we carry that story in that belief structure. When we get older and something happens, usually catalytic, we’re hoping that we don’t get smacked over the head by a circumstance.
So, all of those things are really why I showed up to do what I do in the world. And you know, I was a single mother with an eight-month-old daughter. That was my first wake up call that called me to show up differently by letting go of the victim hood that I was living in powerlessness. I was subscribing into creating a whole new version of myself and a life for my daughter who is now 18 years old so that’s gives you some frame of reference.
And then I was called to climb the corporate ladder and landed as a Vice President of Human Resources and still was like, I’m not happy. I did all the things. Why am I not happy? Here I am like, I’ve got a six figure job, working from home. Isn’t that supposed to be joyful? And it wasn’t. So, I answered that deeper calling and went back to school an adult learner at 39 years old, and launched the Lift Factor and we’re in our fifth year. So yes, I’m about to be 45 this year.
Myrna: Wow! I’m sure you’ve heard it before. You look great.
Tracy: Teenage daughters, they keep me very young.
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Myrna: That’s great. You know, it’s interesting that is a story that we hear so often, that people are successful. They’ve got the house; they’ve got the job, they’ve got the cars, they’ve got the white picket fence, and yet they’re still seeking. They’re still seeking that happiness.
Tracy: So, here’s what’s going on with that Myrna. We were all raised in a conditional happiness model. Okay, which I’ll break down for us. We were all raised that the outside dictates the inside. belief structure, which then reports how we all show up. So it’s very much I’ll be happy when I have a million dollar business. I’ll be happy when I find love in my life. I’ll be happy when or I’ll be sexy when I lose 10 pounds, right?
So what part of the call to work on ourselves and really recognize that as our core purpose is to completely shift out of these paradigms that we’ve been subscribing to all of this time and realize, oh, wait a minute. The reason why I could chase the carrot, get the carrot and chase the next carrot. Get the next pair to chase the next carrot, get the next until you die and still might actually feel joy in your body and your soul because joy and happiness is an inside job.
It’s about recognizing where you are holding on to when I’ll feel happy. And do the reverse of that and start to cultivate and get your body familiar with that emotion of joy and happiness. Not because something cool just happened outside of you; but because that is the state of being that you choose.
Myrna: Yeah, when we do visualization work, they tell you to feel the joy of having something that you want before you actually have it. But I’m sure that’s not what you’re talking about. We’re talking about finding ourselves, loving yourself and finding happiness right now. With your current body, with your current job, with your current circumstances.
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So that when you get the things that you want, you will know what joy looks like. I like what you said about chasing the carrot. We all know as coaches, that whenever you achieve one goal, you set the next goal. Yeah, we are always chasing that carrot. So all right. So that’s great now your expertise is in you know, spirituality.
So I want to start off by asking you a question that I talk about all the time because I’ve heard it from Deepak Chopra. And I’ve heard it from a lot of the luminaries and a lot of, spirituality, leaders. And it says that we are, spiritual beings, having a human experience. So how can we embrace this, spirituality? You know, a spirit having a human experience to create our success.
Tracy: Spirituality, is the foundation of all my work. Spirituality, first be willing to lower the volume on your, skepticism, because, skepticism, is really like a sabotage tactic that your ego uses. So you can just keep disconnected and still hustle and make it hard and kind of continue to affirm who you’ve been.
So when you demote the, skepticism, let’s say that you allow yourself to believe what I’m saying to you, that you are a spiritual energetic being having a human experience because scientifically, it’s not Tracy’s ideas on life, scientifically, we are all, energy.
Myrna: I’ve heard that so many times before, but let’s let’s do this. Just break it down.
Tracy: Right and that’s one of my superpowers, breaking down, spirituality, so it makes sense. So we are, energy, scientific fact, not a spiritual fact. So when we realize that we are spiritual energetic beings, but we’re existing in physical form as human beings, we get to leverage both parts of those truths and understand our, spirituality.
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Consciousness and spirituality
In our humanness we’re feeling fear and lack and scarcity and concern about inclusion and belonging and are we good enough etc. Problems from a, consciousness, perspective. Our, higher consciousness, in the dimensions of, consciousness, and, energy, is going higher.
Myrna: Yep. Okay. So that’s great. Yes, because one of the ways I normally go with that when we’re talking about, spirituality, is you’re connecting to the source and with source, everything is possible. You become limitless, right? Do you ever teach on that one?
Tracy: 100% Because ultimately, your, highest self, operates in the highest, consciousness, available right to their dimensions of, consciousness, your, Higher Self, exists in your fifth dimension of, consciousness. Consciousness, by the conscious awareness, quantum field, all of that space. So when you are in your, highest self, and you’re trusting, you are the most open, you are the most connected to source, you’re also in your highest residence.
You’re also in your most enjoyable states of emotion. You’re not yet when you’re in worry and guilt and not enoughness and resentment and anger. You’re in your humaneness, you’re in love and radiance and trust and bliss and detachment from, spirituality.
Myrna: So that’s true. I noticed from your bio, you also talk about, quantum law. When you’re connecting with your, spirituality, and your, higher self, you’re tapping into, quantum energy, in the, quantum field. Which means that things happen immediately.
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Connecting to the quantum field
Tracy: Essentially, quantum energy, quantum physics, quantum law, it all means the same thing. It is proven that everything is actually all connected all at the same time and completely available to us. When your energetic, resonance and frequency is lower, and you are in a lower level of emotional states like the ones I was saying before frustration, unworthiness, resentment, anger, overwhelm, you are not at your highest resonance, which is what allows you to connect to the, quantum field.
Myrna: So that’s just a very expanded explanation, we’re all spiritual beings having a human experience.
Tracy: Your emotional state becomes your energetic resonance. Emotional suppression, is when you consciously say Nope, I don’t want to feel that and just shut down. Emotional repression, is unconscious repression, which means you’ve been repressed, you don’t even know you’ve been repressed and that you’ve been denying yourself the opportunity to feel your emotions and feel your feelings.
What’s ultimately our biggest goal for everyone everywhere is to be the fullest expression of who you are, right? So being expressed not only means to express yourself verbally and in personality, but also to allow your emotions and your feelings to express themselves. Whether that is through beautiful crying or screaming or punching all these beautiful ways to release emotion from your body.
Emotional suppression leaves you emotionally congested
When you’re emotionally congested, you’re also very reactive. Like the anger comes faster and the resentment comes. So you’re a little like when my kids were little we used to call it being prickly. You’re unable to feel much trust and bliss that we were just talking about and your higher levels of, consciousness.
Myrna: So the question I have here for you is what makes it so hard to change and to up level.
Tracy: Well, because it’s unfamiliar, that’s the real answer. So the art of change and why does it feel so hard to change this because you actually have to become different. And when we’re in the, human growth, potential space, it’s not discussed enough that if you’re really going to become different you’re going to really have to get uncomfortable. And that is, it feels physical, an up level where you actually stretch out of your zone of familiarity into the next ring or two or three of what’s available to you.
It feels like a physical stretch. And to be able to successfully change and transform we have to have a profound understanding of our connection to our bodies and what it means to create safety in our system. Because change means different means unknown means uncertain, and your mind body goes Oh, hell no, I’m not allowing that human to do that. I’m going to keep her safe and the same done right. So to recognize what’s happening in the mind, because that’s what the mind does. It says this is unfamiliar, this is not safe.
Mind Magic drives your emotions
You must also understand that if you’re not working with the body, you’re not really working with the, mind. Also it seems counterproductive or counter intuitive to what we’re taught, but it’s the truth and even the mindset of the teacher. But I don’t do any, mindset, work without the body. Because you feel how you think, and you think how you feel. Your feelings are in your body and your thoughts are in your, mind.
So the, mind, drives feelings because that’s where our amygdala is. Our fear response gets ignited there, but it’s our body, our nervous system that keeps the score and tells all and does or doesn’t allow you to change. So once you understand that you go okay, I can learn how to create safety in my body. Now, all of a sudden, you can move outside of the zone of familiarity, you can change, because you know that where you’re going is amazing.
Myrna: So why does the body tell you that it’s unsafe?
Tracy: Because it’s different from what you have known. Your, mind and body, even though it is consciously what you desire and say you want your, mind and body, are active 24/7, 365 days per year. It’s trying to keep you the same, hell or high water at all costs. Mastering of the, mind and body, is part and parcel to your ability to, transform.
The Business of human growth
Myrna: Tell us about your company the Litt Factor
Tracy: The Litt Factor that’s my company, very excited and proud of it. My dad gave me that last name so it’s all him and it just happened to be a really cool last name. because we didn’t live. So the Litt Factor we are human growth and potential company and we specialize in working with visionary women leaders and entrepreneurs. To do the inner work necessary to become the next level versions of themselves, so that they can easily generate impact and wealth and holistic, success, and feel joy and presence along the way.
That’s what we do and, mind magic, is really our flagship framework. So it is a gorgeous container for visionary women leaders and entrepreneurs. You come in who you are, and you leave the next version of yourself in the most incredible way. It marries neuroscience, quantum law, meta-cognition, healing and, spirituality, in community. And that’s the kicker, that’s the key. You don’t grow in isolation.
You are really learning how to receive unconditional love, learning how to be rallied around, learning how to accept. Being in a sphere and a vortex of other women who are letting go of the status quo, who are breaking free of old paradigms, who are being the fullest expression of themselves. It’s like the wind beneath your wings. And it’s extraordinary.
So that’s what, mind magic, does. And it’s been so profound. It’s so proven we now have a 0% fail rate of anyone who comes to the program and does the work. We actually have a certification process as well. I certified other service providers, healers, coaches, financial experts, strategists on the, mind magic, framework, so that they can take it out in the world and affect change.
Book The Worthy Human
Myrna: Tell us your website, your social handles and also you can talk about your book. Yeah, tell us about your book. It’s a beautiful title. Worthy Human.
Tracy: Please go get the book. It is an incredible read. It is not just theory to the point of our conversation. It is both theory, story and work. So there are sections in the book called The work where you literally pause and do the work. I’ve had people simply invest in the book and transform with nothing else. So if you’re willing to show up for yourself and do the work, it’s a great place to start. And you can get that on Amazon. And if you’re an audio book kind of person, I read the audio so it’s like me loving you and yelling at you for six hours.
Myrna: I am definitely an audio person. I’ll get it myself.
Tracy: If you go to www.littfactor.com it has absolutely everything, but if you go to www.whatwouldshedo.net there is a free gift that I have. It’s a three part audio training course, all about connecting to the next level version of you and what it means to let her lead in every area of your life personally and professionally.
Moses, was a murderer and David was an adulterer and a murderer. They are the most talked about men in the Bible. Their mistakes did not affect their, miracles. Maybe it was God’s, strategy, to use their painful pasts to get them in the right, mindset, for him to use them for his glory.
Your background prepares you for your, miracle.
Whenever you survive, struggle, and God, made a way out of no way, you get stronger. When the next challenge comes your way, you say I have been through this before so I can handle this. Sometimes the, struggle, reveals your faith.
I have been cheated on before, if I made it through that, I can make it through this. You have to have the tenacity to say:
I been through the fire, but it didn’t burn me. I been through the, divorce, having no money in the bank, sickness but I am still standing. I went through the fire, but it did not consume me.
God prepares us before he propels us.
Pain teaches you how to fight
Pain teaches you how to fight for your kids, for your marriage, for your finances.
Jesus said “No one takes my life; I lay it down.” Don’t give anyone the permission to keep you down, use that, pain, as your fuel and let it reveal your, purpose.
The book, The Alchemist, teaches that we all have beginners luck when we decide to pursue our, personal legend, but before we realize it we will be tested. God will send some, pain. It will feel like going through a hail storm with the universe throwing rocks at you to determine how badly you want to win. Most will fold up and say it is too hard, it is too dangerous, it is too scary etc. That is why they say the richest place on earth is the graveyard because most die with their gifts unused.
Pain reveals Purpose
Have you heard Tyler Perry’s story? Tyler Perry put on plays for 2 years and nobody came. The seats were empty but he continued. He even started living in his car because he had no money for rent. He was spending all his money on renting the facilities to put on his plays. He used his pain to reveal his purpose.
One day someone called him. (Your blessings will always find you.) and wanted to partner with him. He agreed and they planned an event but it turned out to be the coldest night in Atlanta he thought the seats would be empty again. He was surprised to see the long lines of people waiting to get into the theatre.
Because he pushed through the, pain, he knew that he had found his, purpose. That was the start of his success. He never looked back. He is now in the self-made billionaire club
It was Gods, strategy, to teach, Tyler Perry, how to be successful. He passed the test, can you?
In his book A new way of life, Author Samy Barnat talks about life after crises. He discusses the, climate change crisis, water crisis, economics crisis, war crisis, pandemic crisis and , oil degradation crisis.
Samy Barnat is the author of A New Way of Life: Be the Solution to the Crises we Face: Increasing Deaths from Climate Change, Lack of Water and Food, Economic Crises, Fake Democracy, Risk of War, and Future Pandemics.
Samy Barnat is an independent multidisciplinary researcher in human sciences. His multi-disciplinary background (psychology, politics, economics, philosophy) gives him a rare global vision that many experts lack. His independent research incorporates outside the box thinking. Both precious elements for finding global solutions to the global crises we face.
The soil fertility crisis
Samy: If you have the best, mindset, but your environment is toxic, and we have a toxic society, that’s kind of a big problem.
Is there a job for everybody?
It’s a simple question, you can have the best, mindset, possible but if the economy is structured in a way that there is not a job for everybody and we have little money, you’re going to be stressed. Or if you are constantly having anxiety of being fired. It’s also the way the environment is being destroyed, the, crises, is we are destroying our environment. Very few people know that, soil fertility, is a growing problem. The, soil, is being destroyed by the way we do agriculture now.
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Myrna: Yeah, I have just become aware of #savesoil, Sadhguru is traveling 30,000 KLM to promote, save soil. I interviewed a member of his team a couple weeks ago. Yeah, we’re talking about food. We’re going to talk about your book, A New Way of Life, later on. How is politics and Philosophy connected?
Samy: Everything is kind of connected. That’s something I think we are all starting to realize that everything is kind of connected. Your mental health is connected to politics and economics, because if you don’t have enough money, you’re going to get stressed and if the environment is not fueling growth, you are going to be stressed.
If you are worried that your kids are not going to have a good future, because you can’t afford their education, you are going to be stressed. That is why politics and Philosophy are connected. It takes leaders like Sadhguru to increase awareness.
Myrna: I see what you mean, because the politicians are directing our future. Whether it’s health care, getting rid of student loans or price of oil. I thought you were saying that politicians, use psychology to get us to vote for them.
Samy: Absolutely, you’re totally right and in a very manipulative way.
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The personal development crisis
Myrna: I like what you said about having a, healthy mindset, is very important for, personal development. Personal development, is a big topic. I’m in the, personal development, space and the, mindset, space. The mind dictates everything. What we believe dictates our level of development, because most people don’t do the work to control their, mind. What is a healthy mindset? How does our, mindset, control anxiety and stress?
Samy: The idea is simple. It’s just we have, positive emotions. And it’s very important to understand this. I mean science it’s only about principles. When you study science, you study principles, it’s like the laws of nature and gravitation in physics. Our, emotions, have their own loads which were created by God.
You have, positive emotions, when your, desires, are realized. And you have, negative emotions, when your, desires, are not realized. So, for example, a baby cries because a, desire, of food is not realized. As an adult if you have an objective, to study and to pass an exam and you fail the exam, you have, negative emotions. You can find as many examples as you want; but the essence it’s about, desire. So, as a result, we have to be extremely careful what we, desire, because if we have impossible, desires, we suffer from anxiety and stress.
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Desire and our emotions
So first of all, we have to be careful what we, desire. We need to make sure we have, realistic desires, all the time, so many people don’t do that. It’s better to reduce your objective. So at least you will be in peace emotionally. You know what I mean? Because you don’t want to be suffering all the time. We should question everything in the light of this principle, ambition.
And deeper than that, it’s our personality, and that I think so many people need to hear this. So basically, our, personality, or what so many of us call our, personality. It’s kind of a, desire, which we were told.
So, for example, so many people, they have a, desire, to be the best and they think that’s who I am. I want to be the best. I’m the best, they have this, internal dialogue. It’s a program really, it’s an, unconscious program. And it was taught by their parents as a kind of a, life strategy. If you try to be the best, at least you can get the best job, the best partner etc.
The type A personality crisis
They don’t realize that a, type A personality, is actually the cause of their pain. If your, desires, are not realized, you have, negative emotion. So, if you try to always be the best, it’s just impossible. So, every time you’re going to feel like you’re not the best, you’re going to feel sadness, stress, anxiety. It’s kind of a, crises, of constant stress, and you don’t understand why. You don’t know where it comes from. It actually coming from what you call your, personality.
But it’s not your, personality. As a human being you are able to recreate yourself all the time, to adapt all the time. So, you should absolutely not cling on to an, unhealthy desire, which is to be the best. This is a, crises.
Myrna what you are doing is very helpful in the, personal development, space. It’s about, NLP, neuro linguistic programming, which is simply, reprogramming our mind. It simply reprogramming with new words, new desires, a new personality, etc. Like saying no, I’m not always the best, sometimes I’m weak, I’m not always clever, sometimes I am stupid.
Myrna: So basically, it’s about, reprogramming our mind with, affirmations.
A New Way of Life A solution to the crises we face
We have a lot of crises So, tell us what solutions you offer in your book?
Samy: Okay, so yeah, so, basically, I’ll start with what I think are the most urgent, crises, and then we can move on from there. So, the, soil degradation, crisis, it’s something we hear so little about in the media. It’s so important because the way we do agriculture is actually destroying the, soil. So, in the world you have a lot of places where this desertification has started.
Soil desertification has started
So, the soil is becoming sand. It’s not very productive in terms of food, and that’s a big deal. A, crisis, will start to emerge in a more dramatic way. We are all going to be affected by that. We cannot just rely on our politicians to take care of these big issues.
We’ve seen it with, climate change, for example. They knew about, climate change, for 30 years, and they have done very little because of the lobbyists who put pressure on politicians and big corporations like Exxon. They don’t want to do anything about, climate change, because it was going to make them lose money.
The other, crisis, we need to worry about is the end of the end of, oil. Our life is based on, oil. Food is produced with, oil, agricultural machines need, oil. Everywhere in the world, more than 60% of the population were working as farmers. So that gives you an idea of society before, oil.
Oil, is everywhere, all the products, almost the job of everybody is completely relying on, oil. All the products are imported with, oil, for trucks, and boats from the other side of the world. And that includes food or whatever you sell, whatever your company’s selling, it’s relying on, oil, so when we go towards the end, it means it basically means the collapse of the economy.
The oil crisis
Myrna: I understand about the, soil, because they are depleting the nutrients of the, soil. And the soil is becoming sand. I don’t understand an, oil crisis, because, oil, is supposed to be limitless. Why are you saying that we’re going to run out of it?
Samy: So, you know, all resources are limited. I mean, half our planet is finite. It’s limited.
Myrna: Oil, is all over the place. All you got to do is dig. They just found, oil in Guyana. Apparently, you can go dig in your backyard and might find, oil.
Samy: Okay, so you can see the graph showing discoveries. The peak of discoveries was quite a long time ago. So, it means since that time, we discover every year less and less, oil. We still discover some, but the question is, is it going to be enough for the global economy? It’s a question of quantity.
Will oil be depleted in 30 years?
Myrna: Politicians are looking at ways to not use, oil. They’re looking at energy efficient ways. So that’s what they’re starting because maybe they know that maybe in 30 years or something, the, oil, will be depleted. But I personally think that we live in an abundant world, that everything that we need is right here, and it’s not limited.
Samy: Yeah, so the, oil crises, I’m speaking about, the data came from people working in BP, and Shell Exxon. They give me numbers about when we will reach the end of, oil. You can you can check this on internet because those reports are for free. But it gives us a rough estimation, the end of, oil, would be around 30 years around 2050. But what we should worry about is the end of, cheap oil, because even if we still have, oil, if it becomes too expensive then that it is the end and society collapses.
For example, we’ve seen now in Spain, it gives us a glimpse of the future. Because of the, war with Russia, the supply of oil in Europe is limited. Okay, so in Spain, what happened is that truck drivers, the oil increased so much that they could they couldn’t earn a living. They basically had more charges, compared to earnings, so they stopped working.
Myrna: it was happening in the US too. A lot of truck drivers protested at the Canadian border for same reason, gas prices too high. The diesel fuel is twice that of regular gas.
Solutions to the oil crisis
Samy: This gives us a glimpse into the future, the end of, cheap oil, will affect our lives. Oil, is the basis of modern society.
Myrna: Okay, all right. So that’s a good reason for people to get your book. So, do you offer solutions in your book? What was the reason you wrote the book, and what do you want people to walk away with after reading your book?
Samy: So basically, it’s about preparing your family. I’m saying the first thing you should worry about is your family. In France, there’s much more awareness on this topic and many people they have started to buy land. You need land because when society collapses it is going to be violent. When you don’t have food, people fight.
The second solution would be to have your local community prepare for the, oil crisis. So, it’s kind of the solution I’m giving in the book. So basically, what I’m saying is we need a new way of doing politics.
Myrna; All right, tell people where they can get your book so they can get your solutions to all these, crises.
Samy: So basically, if you go on https://samybarnat.com/ you will find links to all social media and the book, so you can you can just get there.
Myrna: Okay, all right. Okay. All right. So yes, and of course, the book is available on Amazon. So yeah, it’s me. It’s been we had a really good conversation and we covered a multitude of topics. I specifically love your take on why people are happy or unhappy. Thank you.
Toyin Crandell, author of the Money Mindset Shift and host of the Millionaire Money Podcast, talks about helping her clients ditch their limiting beliefs about, money, by shifting their, money mindset, design a simple, proven and customized, financial freedom, plan so they can, build wealth, become, debt free, and create a new legacy.
Toyin Crandell is the host of the Millionaire Money Podcast, a best-selling author, a financial mentor, an international speaker, and the founder of Money Mindset SHIFT.
She specializes in helping business owners and career professionals ditch their limiting beliefs about, money, design a simple, proven, and customized financial freedom plan so they can build wealth, get rest, and create a new legacy.
She has coached thousands of individuals and families, helping them increase their wealth by $10s of millions of dollars and pay off millions of dollars of debt while enjoying their lives in the process.
Using the principles she teaches, Toyin Crandell went from being stuck in tens of thousands of debts, having no food for her family to building eleven streams of income and running her own multi-million-dollar company.
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Shawn Achor leveraging the happiness advantage and DWade A life Bigger than basketball
Toyin: I was in full time ministry and I loved what I did. Me and my husband are both professional musicians. That’s how we met. So, I was like, God is good. Life is good. Who needs, money. December 2016 we were living in a tiny basement apartment. The apartment was so small. I think our whole apartment fits into my current master bedroom now. It was so small; you had to go sideways and do a shuffle to get some clothes out of the closet. And we had a little six-month-old daughter, I really didn’t care. I didn’t even notice any of these things.
We had our daughter and I remember one evening my husband had brought me dinner in the bedroom. Because we didn’t have a dining space and I’m eating dinner, and I was just like, Baby, where are you? You know, he’s not in the room like there’s nobody else in the house but me and him. So, I said to him come eat over here. And he comes in the room and I’m just casually asking him, what are you having? I was eating some canned stuff. And he said, I am having chocolates and I was like, what do you mean chocolates? And he said Toyin we’re out of food.
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Dinner was canned food and chocolate
I found out that week he had been giving me the rest of our food because I was nursing our daughter. And even the chocolates that he was eating were not chocolates that we bought. It was because it was December it was Christmas season and people had given us a gift of a box of chocolates. So, he was living on that, so I could feed our baby and that was my very first, forceful wakeup call where in my mind I thought to myself, Oh, my gosh, this isn’t working, money, matters.
I started having 1000 thoughts in one second, I’m thinking to myself, we need to be able to feed my daughter. It’s one thing when you’re single and you don’t have food and you can eat rice from January to December. Nobody cares. But now have a daughter that I am responsible for, so I get this wakeup call, what do I do? Me and my husband very resourceful people, I tell him it’s not working. I’ve been watching a ton of webinars. I’ve been listening to all these different things to try to learn from people. And I was not working, else we would have food in the fridge.
So, I get my first coach and this person was a, business strategist, and they helped me to like start thinking more like a business person as opposed to thinking like a Lottie, Dottie person. And I remember in February I had collected $7,000 in cash and I was like oh my goodness, this is the breakthrough we’ve been waiting for.
Myrna: What did you sell to make the $7000?
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Helping people to become debt free
Toyin: I was helping people to become, debt free. So, here’s the funny thing. I had debt in the past and I thought that, debt freedom, was, financial freedom, because I didn’t understand, money. So, I learned how to be, debt free. And I had started teaching it as a business casually, I didn’t even plan it. I just became, debt free. My friends were like, Oh my gosh, you’re, debt free. How did you do it? I Started telling my friends, and they became, debt free. I’m spending all this time talking to people and they’re all becoming, debt free. And I wasn’t getting paid.
So, I was like, I should get paid for this. So that was what had started like me charging for teaching people how to become, debt free. What happened was in the same month where we’re emailing about rent and bills, I get this favor to get into a room with these technical, millionaire mentors. And these are people who are running businesses that are in the hundreds of millions of dollars and
I’m in the room with them learning from them. I started noticing these guys they don’t talk like me, I started noticing so many little things. And I realized that I had been in so many circles. We prided ourselves on our, struggle. I get in this room with these actual, millionaires. And one of the men had this chart and it started with:
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Shifting your money mindset from struggle
He asked us in the room, where are you on this ladder? And like earlier that year he met me in February have been like at least I mean, sustained success, but at this point, I am under, struggle, again. And I just remember thinking to myself, if I don’t figure out what is holding me back financially, I will always be under, struggle.
I realized that the problem isn’t to be, debt free, because I had become, debt free. I was, debt free. But the problem was my mind was so against having, money, that even though our expenses was the lowest you could imagine. We reduced our income to be lower than even those expenses, because we were so used to, struggle.
Myrna: I teach that all the time. Let’s label this, mindset. It’s called a, poverty mindset.
Toyin: That’s exactly right. That means no matter what actions you take, you produce, poverty. And in that month, I create this process. So now let me talk about how we got to 11 streams of income. I create this process where I just started asking myself questions. I got honest with myself on a level that I had never been honest with myself before. I asked myself:
What are the limiting beliefs I have about, money?
What is my actual relationship with, money?
What am I doing wrong?
What is my pattern with, money?
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Why shifting your money mindset works
So now I see the problem and I create this shift process. I didn’t know anything about neuroscience back then. I didn’t know anything about, mindset coaching. I just knew I was sick and tired of, struggle. So, I use this process for myself. I never thought I would even tell anybody about it.
The next month, November, we had more income. And my husband pointed out to me, he’s like, hey, you just had more, money, come in, in November this month, than all of last year combined. And he says to me, what are you doing? Do you have a new offer? Do you have a new business like what are you doing that I didn’t hear about? Honestly, I was shocked. I hadn’t looked at the numbers from that frame.
And I said to him the only thing I did was change my, mindset. I thought to ask myself, I wonder if this mind process would work for my clients because I haven’t taught them anything about mindset. It was all strategy and our success rate because our success rate was around 50%. The industry average ranges between 3% to 50%.
In coaching, our success was 60. I used to be proud of that. But I used to be so frustrated about the remaining 40%. Why were these 40% still in poverty? When I started teaching, money mindset, our success rate went to 95%, our people start scaling and becoming, millionaires.
In the process of up leveling my mind every single year, I’m honest about this. I am a human being I still have, money mindset, challenges, the difference is the level.
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Becoming a millionaire by shifting your money mindset
Myrna: You’re no longer scratching the bottom.
Toyin: I remember it took us from $60,000 a year to 130,000 a year to 600,000 a year to over a million in a year, so we were growing every single year. I would literally sit my butt down with my process and say, Okay, what’s the new level? What’s the new identity that God is calling me to operate in. Because guys, money, is never just about the numbers. When I set goals, when I push and when you want to push, you’re not doing it just because of the, money; money itself is neutral. It means nothing.
All it is a marker of the value that you are bringing to the world and you are allowing yourself to receive. And so, I realized the more people I can serve this, money, thing is just a way for me to see how many people am I helping? How many people am I making into, millionaires, or whatever the goal is. I’m a finance person naturally, as soon as the, money mindset, got figured out, we were off. We now have 11 streams of income. We’ve got real estate properties, you’ve got dividends, we’ve got stocks, we’ve got royalties, we do workshops, plus, passive income.
Passive income streams
So, we have, passive income, streams and active income streams, but all of it came out of one thing one thing a, money mindset. Start your income making machine, you need an income making machine that allows you to do all the other fun things that you want to do. What your income making machine will not produce unless you face your, money mindset.
So, unless you look at your, money mindset, and allow yourself to be able to get to a level you’ve never been you are not going to become a, millionaire. We coach people who are, millionaires, and we coach people who have not worked a job in eight years and the conversation may be different, but we are training the subconscious.
Shifting our money mindset
Myrna: So how do we shift our, money mindset?
Toyin: Okay, the first thing that you want to do is you need to get honest with yourself about what’s not working. If you cannot be honest with yourself about what’s not working in your finances, you will never fix it. And this is actually the hardest part, being honest with yourself. Most people never want to do that because it sucks to look in the mirror.
And so, the first thing that you guys want to do is to get your, money, right. You have to sit down with a pen and a paper and write down what are the patterns that I am seeing happening In my life that are giving me clues. The, money mindset shift, is simply follow the money.
So, for example, if you have a savings account, and your savings account, never crosses 5k, some of you guys you’re doing very well your savings account may never cross 100K. You get what I mean? Like everyone has those limits, where were the ones that never crossed 55 bucks.
What’s your money pattern?
When there is a pattern, we often get lost in the story. The reason my account never got past $500 was because my fridge broke down. The reason was because I chose to go and shop this time. The stories will always be different but I don’t look at the story, I look at the pattern. What is the pattern, the pattern is when you hit $500 your money disappears.
So right now, what are the patterns that I am noticing in my, money? I will save this specifically for those of you who earn a higher amount than people around you, you are in one of the most dangerous positions financially. Why? Because when we work with a lot of, millionaires, and we find that because you are doing better than most people, everyone around you is super impressed.
They’re like, Oh my gosh, Look at your income. And a lot of these people don’t notice whether or not, money, is staying. Yes, you’re working hard. Yes, you’re bringing in bank. Yes, you’re making the dollars; But you’re not building generational wealth. You’re not keeping any of it. You’re not keeping it. But once you shift your, mindset, you have to take action.
Toyin’s book Money Mindset Shift
Myrna: I know you just started your podcast. Tell our readers how they could connect with you.
I’m the host of the Millionaire Money Podcast. It is so much fun. We just teach business owners and career professionals how to think like a, millionaire, make wealthy decisions and take strategic action so that you can actually create the, millionaire, bank account and lifestyle that you want. So, our goal in that podcast is literally helping you to get your first $100 million dollars. We’re going to be taking you to the next level. So that’s the podcast.
And then the second thing is some of you guys may be saying, I’m ready to shift this brain of mine, I am ready to actually begin to live out the wealth that I’m looking for. For those of you guys you can go to www.moneymindsetshift.ca and you’re able to watch a free master class. Now we have two master classes. One of them is for everybody, and the other one is specifically for business owners who are currently at six to seven figures. So, if you’re thinking seven figures is a masterclass for you. And if you’re a career professional or business owner and looking to earn your first million then the second master class is for you.
Mindfulness, is the practice of training our minds to be, present, moment by moment. When we are, mindful, we are, conscious, of what is happening around us, our environment, our emotions, our reactions, etc. When we are fully, present, or practice, mindfulness, we listen rather than just hear, we perceive rather than just see. Mindfulness, affects everything we do, and impacts every interaction we have with others.
In this episode of 5 mins with Coach Myrna, I teach on the topic of, Mindfulness. Mindfulness, is the art of, being present. It is not as easy as it may seem to become, mindful. As humans we are controlled by automatic programming for over 95% of the time, so remembering to stay in the space of, mindfulness, is also saying to become more, conscious.
Our minds are really good at shuffling between past, present and future, driven by our fears and desires, memories and imagination. Our minds habitually go from reflecting on the past one moment, to worrying about the future at the next moment, with very little time spent on being fully, present. This behavior is so habitual that we don’t even realize that we are not, present.
For some people, mindfulness, is primarily a way to enhance health or performance. For others, mindfulness, is a tool for self-exploration. And for yet others, mindfulness, is part of a spiritual path, a way to develop insight into the human condition and freedom from suffering.
Regardless of the motivation, scientists find that practicing, mindfulness, is associated with changes in the structure and function of the brain as well as changes in our physiological responses to stress, suggesting that this practice has important impacts on our physical and emotional health that are worth exploring.
How to Do Mindfulness
Mindful, action is connecting the body with the mind. Yoga is one way we connect our bodies and mind through movement to release stored stress and trauma. Mindful Breathing, is regulating our breathing to shift the way we feel, so we can better regulate our emotions.
Mindful Centering, is being aware of what you are thinking about as you think it. Becoming conscious of your thoughts and then using the breath to keep your focus in the, present moment. This allows you to center back in the, present, and breathe when the mind moves into the past or the future.
Focused attention is another, mindfulness, technique. This technique uses the breath to anchor the mind and maintain awareness. Focus your attention on the breath — specifically the rise and fall of the chest — and return to the breath whenever you get distracted or notice your, mind, starting to wander.
What is Mindfulness meditation
Mindfulness Meditation, is an ancient Buddhist tradition that focuses on clearing your, mind, and stillness. You can think of, mindfulness meditation, as training for your, mind, in the same way exercise trains your physical body. Just as there are different workouts you can engage in to get your body fit, there are different types of, meditation, you can practice to sharpen your, mind. One of these types is, mindfulness meditation.
Like its name suggests, mindfulness meditation, involves becoming more mindful of the breath and the sensations in your body as you focus on your breathing. When thoughts come to the forefront of the, mind, you let them float away like colored balloons being taken away by the wind. You do not analyze the thoughts or let them take you into the past or the future, you simply let them come and go without being judgmental about them or trying to figure out what they mean.
Your goal is to become, mindful, of the, present moment, and how your body responds to these thoughts. This allows you to ultimately become less reactive to or overwhelmed by what you’re feeling — particularly when it comes to things like stress and anxiety.
Benefits of Mindfulness meditation
While, mindfulness meditation, may have once seemed like an esoteric practice that only monks or the highly spiritual did, it has now become mainstream. Everybody now knows of the measurable benefits of, meditation. Meditation, has undergone numerous clinical studies that are cluing scientists into the very real benefits this practice has. As it turns out, meditation, is officially great for your, mind and body.
When it comes to the science behind, meditation, different studies have investigated its relationship to a variety of different health conditions. While research remains ongoing, so far, there’s demonstrated evidence that, meditation, may promote an array of positive health effects, including:
A natural reduction in pain levels
Lower blood pressure in people who are at risk of developing high blood pressure
“Help with psychological distress, anxiety, depression, anger/hostility and coping ability,” according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Possible reduction of widespread body inflammation
Better immune system functioning
On another practical level, mindfulness meditation, helps your body, including your nervous system relax.
How Mindfulness Meditation works
Mindfulness meditation, doesn’t only change our, mindset, and perspective, it actually can change the shape of our brains. Generalized neuroimaging, meditation, studies found that 8 weeks of, mindfulness meditation, also changes our brains, rewiring them towards more positive thoughts and emotions.
Your ability to relax has a profound effect on your bodily functions, and the relaxation, meditation, leads to can lower your blood pressure, improve circulation and lowers your heart rate. You could see less perspiration, less strain in your breathing and lower levels of stress hormones in your body.
One of the biggest benefits of, mindfulness meditation, is mental. Being, mindful, can reduce your stress levels and anxiety and make you feel more relaxed. Regular, mindfulness meditation, becomes a tool you can use throughout your life to boost your mental and physical wellness.
Meditation as a spiritual practice
For many people, meditation is a, spiritual practice. It can allow you to feel closer to God and more connected to your faith. This transcendent state feels otherworldly.
Meditation, may also help kids learn to become more grounded and stable. You should begin practicing, mindfulness meditation, with your kids. Children benefit from the act of relaxing and concentrating. Practicing, mindfulness, can help them with their emotions, stress, anxiety, and feelings, just as it can for adults. Life is full of new feelings for children, and you may see an improvement in your child’s wellbeing after introducing, meditation.
People, meditate, for different reasons. While some do it as a religious practice, others practice for, self-development, a better sense of clarity, or just being still and hearing God. Many hope to feel more balanced and relaxed by lowering their stress levels. Whatever your reason, start by trying a few techniques to see which works best for you. Remember to give it time and have patience.
Many who start, mindfulness meditation, give up because they can’t quiet their minds, but like I said earlier a technique is to let the thoughts come and go, don’t fight them because the more you resist, the quicker they come back. With practice, you will be meditating like the, Buddhist monks, in no time.
So start your practice of being, mindful. Pay attention to your environment, the sensations in your body and start seeing the benefits.
Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 mins with coach Myrna. I invite you all to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach for daily life coaching tips and strategies to live your best lives now.
Abigail Damoah was wrongly convicted and sent to prison for 12 years. During this dark time in her life, she used inspiration for the bible story of David to find her, life purpose, of helping the women in, prison. She turned her, pain into power, and achieved tremendous personal growth by not seeing herself as a, victim.
After serving five years in a Florida state prison for a crime that she didn’t commit, and then two years later being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and undergoing major surgery to remove most of her colon, Abigail learnt one very important life lesson; you will find treasure in the darkest places if you simply change your perspective by turning her, pain into power.
During her, incarceration, Abigail became a Christian and learnt that life isn’t just about her. She was surrounded by women who had endured the most horrific traumatic childhoods and were now being victimized by the very system that was supposed to help them. She found the strength to end her pity party, opening her eyes to the immense suffering of others.
She began to use her gifts to make an impact on the lives of the women she was housed with. It was during the worst season of her life that she experienced true peace, contentment, and fulfilment because she found her life’s purpose, and learned how to turn her, pain into power. Abigail is the author of ” She is Risen from Destitute to Destiny”
Using Adversity to turn pain into power
Myrna: All right, so here we have a whole bunch of, adversity. Being sentenced to 12 years in, prison, even if it’s for a crime you do commit, it is very traumatic. It is worst when it is a crime that you didn’t commit.
Can you share your story, why you were sentenced to 12 years in, prison? I know you said you only served five of those 12 years. Tell us how you survived that and turned that, pain into power?
Abigail: Okay, so I had my dream to live in America. I’m from the United Kingdom and after I finished my undergraduate degree. I relocated to Atlanta, Georgia to study and pursue an MBA. I got an internship in Florida. I flew down to Florida and I met a man. One night he called wanting to go out to a nightclub, and I agreed. He came and picked me up and we made our way to the nightclub and ended up having a car accident where he was killed, and I was seriously injured.
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My injuries were so extensive that I spent over six weeks in the hospital. My parents at the time decided the best course of action was to take me back to the UK, because there’s no way I was going to be able to look after myself in the USA. I recuperated and got back on my feet. And then in 2011, the state of Florida issued an extradition warrant for my arrest. I was charged with vehicular homicide. The legal definition for that is reckless driving.
So, I was accused of driving in such a dangerous manner that caused death or great bodily harm to another. While I was waiting for the extradition, I began to study the laws surrounding my case and discovered that I should never have been charged with a crime in the first place. The state of Florida had sent over the deposition, the discovery and detail they had a very detailed chronology, of exactly what happened. And one of the things that should have exonerated me from the beginning, was the fact that the road was under reconstruction at the time, so they had taken down all the speed signs.
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Extradition to the USA
There were no warning signs that the road was about to change and if you’re not familiar with that road, you would not know that you need to slow down. So, when an accident happened, all of a sudden, a curve came up and I hit the curb and the car ended up flipping over and going into a tree. So, based on that alone, I should never have been charged with a crime. But if you know anything about the laws in the United States, you know, sometimes it can be a bit one sided.
I was extradited to America to stand trial. I had a judge who had no legal integrity, because of the way my case had been portrayed in the media. She was determined to make an example out of me. I was found guilty sentenced to 12 years Florida State Prison. After serving 5 years, the case was dismissed.
Myrna: Wow. So sorry to hear what you have been through. I’m assuming you were driving.
Abigail: Yes, I was driving, it wasn’t my car.
Myrna: Yeah, that’s what I thought because he came to pick you up.
Abigail: The reason I was driving was because he got so drunk, that he was unable to continue the journey. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time.
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Myrna: So sorry for your pain. But the fact that the case was dismissed, I’m assuming that you’ve cleared your name.
Abigail: Yes, yes. My name is completely cleared. The sentence was vacated, and I was released from, prison.
Myrna: Did you get any money for it?
Abigail: No, absolutely nothing. The state of Florida had laws to protect themselves against wrongful convictions. So, I was knocked out of financial assistance there. But, it was a driving force behind what I do now because I had to start my life from scratch. I had to use the gifts that I had been given to build a life for myself, and turn my, pain into power. I didn’t have anything. I came back to nothing, but God worked it out for my good.
Going through the tunnel of adversity
Myrna: Well, they say that a lot of times, we must go through the tunnel, we must be beaten down all the way to the bottom, before we find our, purpose. We all go screaming into it because we really don’t want to go through pain, we don’t want to hit rock bottom. I’m in this space where I interview a lot of people and I remember talking to this woman. Her husband died and she started her coaching practice helping other women handle, grief. She turned her, pain into power, but we all prefer not to go through the pain even if it is the fire starter to our, life purpose.
So how did you manage after also being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and having most of your colon removed?
Abigail: I wasn’t raised in a Christian household, but I had a lot of Christian friends. If there’s one thing that I learned from them, even while I wasn’t a believer, was that they had this ability to see past their circumstances. So, before I even arrived in America, they were already speaking life into my situation. They were already telling me that this was going to work out for my good, something good is gonna come out of this.
And it wasn’t until, I became a Christian and I began to read the Bible and I began to apply those principles, that I was strengthened in that area. God gave me a perspective that enabled me to see things through his eyes, he gave me the ability to step outside of myself. I was surrounded by people who are who were suffering, who have been through women the worst heinous things. My whole perception changed.
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Helping people in prison turn their pain into power
Not only are people dying from much worse situations than I had, but I had to reframe my situation to say, okay, I’m in, prison, now, what can I do while I’m here to make an impact on the lives of the women that I am housed with? How do I turn my, pain into power?
I had a writing gift and there are women that couldn’t read or write. I remember the very first time I tapped into that. There was a woman that I was, bunking in, prison, she had a terrible situation, her children have been taken into DCF custody because of her arrest.
So, I wrote a letter for her. explaining the situation to DCF, speaking in legal terminology. She wanted her children to be put into the custody of her sister while she was in, prison, and lo and behold, that’s exactly what happened. Two weeks later, she came to me, I mean, she was in floods of tears. She was so grateful that I took the time to do this for her, and it was at that moment that I realized that what my, purpose, is connected to my gift of writing. Writing was how I was going to turn my, pain into power.
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Figuring out my life purpose
I also realized that my, purpose, had nothing to do with me, it was to enrich the lives of the people that I am surrounded by. So, from that moment, my prayers changed from Lord get me out of here, I can’t take this anymore to Lord who are the people in, prison, that you want me to impact? That started a tsunami of work. My inmates just started coming to get the help they needed. I started helping them write letters, probation letters, letters to their family, etc. It was one of the most, fulfilling aspects of my time in, prison.
Myrna: Now, how did you take own ownership of your situation? What was your internal dialogue?
Abigail: I dropped the, victim mentality. You know, it’s so easy when you’re going through a situation whatever it is, it’s so easy to point the finger and say is your fault that I’m here, but when you play the, victim, you are not helping anybody. You’re not helping yourself and you’re not helping anyone else. When I was in the, victim, state I felt so sorry for myself. You know, such an injustice had taken place.
Victims have no power
I was depressed, I was in a place of desolation, I couldn’t sleep at night, I had no peace. But the moment I relinquished that, victim mentality, I came to the revelation that it wasn’t the state of Florida that put me in, prison, to punish me. I was placed there strategically to be empowered, and then to empower. I was placed there to turn my, pain into power.
So once my, mindset, changed, I was able to say I am going to use this situation to become the best person that I be and to help as many people as I can while I’m in here. That is exactly how I took ownership of my situation. I took the power out the hands in the state of Florida, and turned, my pain into power, because, victims, have no power.
Myrna: This is so true. Victims have no power. In my book, Out of the Snares, A story of Hope and Encouragement, I have a full chapter on, victims. My story was that I was abused as a child, but I never became a, victim. In fact, what I suggest we become a, player. You know, when you are playing a game of blackjack and the cards that you’re dealt with are bad cards? People use those same bad cards to win, in the same way when you become a, player instead of becoming a, victim, you play with the cards you are dealt. And that’s exactly what you did, you became a, player in the game, you decided that these are the cards that I’ve been handed, and I am going to make the best of the situation. I am going to turn this, pain into power.
How to become a player and turn pain into power
Myrna: You could have played the “what if game”. What if I didn’t go out? What if I didn’t agree to drive? But instead you said it happened. There’s no way you can go backwards, all you can do is make the best of the situation that you have right now and use it to help people and learn from it and turn your, pain into power.
What is the lesson that that that you took out of that? Were you able to equate it to a, Bible story? I want to talk about Joseph who was thrown in, prison, and it was strategic to God’s plan for him. And I am also thinking of a Job which is the chapter reading now in the Bible and all the bad things that happened to him.
Job declared God does only do good things for you. God does good things, and he does bad things.
Abigail: Joseph was one of my favorite stories in the Bible. And it wasn’t until I got to that Genesis chapter 37, where Joseph was put in, prison, that I found strength in my situation. Prison, shaped Joseph into the man that God needed him to be. I knew that my time in, prison, was in God’s hands, just based on that story alone. I learned a lot from Joseph and his, mindset, during that time. He refused to be a, victim, he used his time to assist other people. He was looking for others to help while he was, incarcerated, and it opened the door to his freedom.
Myrna: Yes, exactly helping people got him introduced to the king.
Using dreams and visions for your purpose
Abigail: That was a very powerful story for me, and I used that, bible story, to empower myself. So my God has given me dreams and visions, and I knew that, okay, I’m not living the dream and the vision now, but it is this situation here that is going to lead me to the destiny that God has for me and I had to remind myself of that daily.
Myrna: That’s amazing, I am loving our conversation. One of my personal mantras is that just like an airplane needs resistance to take off the ground, we need resistance to move up our next level. And whenever I have resistance in my life, when I was working full time when I received resistance eg. one door closed or something, I always knew that resistance was supposed to push me forward and up. The door closing from being fired got me into, Life coaching, helping women to, transform their mind.
A lot of women, especially minority women live in the, wilderness, and in order for them to get out of the, wilderness, they have to change their, mindset.
Abigail: I wrote the book because I knew that I had a story to tell number one, and it wasn’t a story of the tragedies, but stories of, empowerment. The book a memoir, going back to my childhood, I packed a lot of things and I think that’s very important that you need to go back to, to know why things are the way they were. So, I went through that process in the book, I had a very turbulent teenage years, connected to childhood. But despite those challenges, I still managed to make something all my life, and it didn’t come easily, or immediately at all.
It was a very, very difficult situation and a very, very difficult process. And I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but what I do know is that you can, turn your pain into power, if you change your perspective on a situation. I could have not written this book. I could have so easily come out of, prison, and just felt sorry for myself, and accept government assistance and nobody would have blamed me
Teaching others how to overcome adversity
So, I had to look at the situation and ask myself what have I learned from this? And not only what have I learnt from it, but now what can I do about it? I decided I can teach other people about how to overcome, adversity. One of the things that helped me while I was, incarcerated, were the different, prison ministries. People would share these terrible stories, but they got through it, and that’s something that inspired me.
Myrna: Well, that’s the reason I asked you if you’re going into the, prison, and doing, prison ministry, because I know your story is powerful. Now you are on the radio, podcast and PTWWN TV, sharing your story, not only the people that are in, prison, is going to hear this, but people all over the world. Your story doesn’t just speak to someone in, prison, but speaks to any women in the, wilderness, the, wilderness, can be any dry place.