How To Be Happy: The Happiness Recipe

The, happiness recipe, is super simple. Do more of what matters to you, and less of the rest.

Simple, though obviously doesn’t mean easy. There’s a lot that goes into that very short phrase and into the execution of that very short phrase.   Becky Morrison is a mom, wife and lawyer turned, Happiness Coach has identified what she thinks are the three areas that stop us from executing on this, happiness recipe.

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Bio

Becky Morrison is a mom, wife and lawyer turned, Happiness Coach. Her mission is to spread joy. She believes most people can live happier, easier lives if they get clear on what matters most to them and then develop a plan to do more of that and less of the rest. She wants to enable people to find clarity and happiness, so everyone wins.

Now she’s using her experience coupled with her own journey to help people supercharge their success and happiness by: finding clarity; taking the next steps in their career; overcoming overwhelm; going from idea to action; and, stepping into their authentic leadership presence.

Becky brings together all her learnings in her recently published book ‘The Happiness Recipe: A Powerful Guide to Living What Matters’.

Book The Happiness Recipe
Book The Happiness Recipe

From Lawyer to Happiness Coach

Myrna: Your story of coming from corporate lawyer to, happiness coach, reminds me of the first book I read in my quest for enlightenment and, personal growth. And that is the book called from Robin Sharma that’s called “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.”

So, for those who didn’t know Robin Sharma, the character in the book is a corporate lawyer who had a heart attack. And then he went to live with amongst the monks in the Himalayan mountains and he changed his life.  So, how did it happen for you?

Becky: Well, I mean, it was not quite that glamorous or fun for me, but it is a story of evolution and, transformation. And it starts with me doing what a lot of us do, which is doing all the things I thought I was supposed to do.

  • Going to the good school,
  • getting the good grades,
  • getting the job,
  • going back to graduate school to become an attorney,
  • then getting the job at the big law firm with the big paycheck to be on the partnership track.
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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Does checking the right boxes lead to happiness

Then one night 16 years later, I found myself sitting on the floor of the bathroom, with a toddler in the tub, and the cordless phone clip to the back of my pants, and the toilet seat cover down with a notebook on it and papers spread all around me. And I was doing two things at the same time. I was bathing my toddler daughter and trying to prepare an expert witness for their upcoming deposition.

I had two thoughts in super quick succession. The first thought was, who says you can’t do it all? Look at me. I’m a mom, I’m a lawyer. I’m here. I’m killing it. This is amazing. That was quickly followed by and I’m exhausted. Is this unsustainable? And perhaps more importantly, and more scarily, I’m not sure this is making me happy.

And that kicked off my own quest for, transformation, and, personal growth.  I had to figure out, well, okay, what does it mean, if I’ve done all of the things that I was supposed to do? And I checked all the boxes? And I’m not happy?

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PTWWN TV – The Happiness Recipe

Where does happiness come from?

What the heck does, happiness, come from then? If it’s not from success? If it’s not from the results?

You talked about, happiness, is working towards a purpose or a goal.

  • What am I working towards here?
  • Why am I here In this season of my life?
  • What is my top priority?
  • What is the most important thing?

I panicked. And I started to think about what can I do? And the reality is, I can do a lot of things. I’m a lawyer, with a ton of management experience, a whole bunch of process experience. I’ve been a CEO, I mean, the list of jobs that I could apply for is pretty long. And thankfully, I had some voices in my life who said, timeout?

This is an opportunity, what do you want to do? Not what can you do, but what do you want to do? And that’s how I landed in this business of helping other people chart their success and, happiness.

The Definition of happiness

Myrna: That’s a good story. I love your evolution. One of the things I will add is when you’re in a tub bathing your child and doing work, you’re not giving her the attention she deserves.

Becky:  So true, I wasn’t fully focused on one or the other. I had split focus and split focus is not efficient, effective or meaningful.

Myrna: So right. Yes, that’s what mothers do. You know, they have one of the hips and they’re doing it all.  So, that moment was the start of your, your evolution, your, transformation. You asked yourself the question Is this making me happy?  I’m working towards a goal. I’m working towards partnership, you’re immediately disrupting my, definition of happiness.

My, definition of happiness, is working steadily towards a goal or purpose

I guess the other part of that is, fulfillment. And somehow your work wasn’t hitting the, fulfillment, button inside.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

How do we identify the essential sources of happiness?

Becky: How do we find our essential, sources of happiness? I have a little exercise that I like to do with people that might seem silly or small, but it’s not. And it’s about developing a menu of things that you can do, that are easy and accessible, that you know, are going to create a positive emotional experience for you.

We can use Oprah’s, sources of happiness, sitting in the bathtub.  We need to do to get down to the essential, sources of our joy, or have those positive emotional experiences is to ask a few more questions. Get down to the simple things that you can do to add, happiness, into your daily life.

When I’m sitting with a client is ask them to brainstorm a list of five to seven things that are their, sources of happiness. I ask them not to judge because on my list, one of my, sources of happiness, is clean sheets!

Then taking one on that list and asking yourself, what about that makes me happy? So, take the Oprah example. What about being in the bathtub that brings you, happiness?

  • Is it the solitude?
  • Is it the warmth of my water?
  • Is it the time with my thoughts?
  • There’s something more than just the bathtub that brings you, happiness.
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Invite your nervous system to become a partner in your happiness?

Becky: Happiness, makes you feel good or, or when you’re doing the things that make you happy in that moment, right? You feel good, and it helps with your health, and it helps with resilience and all that. But your nervous system is a little different.

A lot of times more, happiness, for us lives on the other side of some sort of change. Whether it’s change in behavior, change in circumstance, change in mindset. And at the most basic level, one of the important jobs that our nervous system plays is to keep us safe, literally, to keep us alive. That’s where the, fight or flight, response, comes from.

Often when we’re trying to make a change, it can feel uncomfortable and unpleasant, because it is our, nervous system, is saying, no, no, no, please don’t. I know how to keep you safe; this new activity is not safe.  I have no data on it. So, often we mistake that discomfort as a sign that we shouldn’t do it.

Myrna: That’s true that our brain’s function is to warn us about impending danger and to keep us safe. Which is why One of the first things I learned myself on my journey of self-improvement is you got to get out your, comfort zone, because whenever you sit In your comfort zone you’re not moving, and you’re not growing.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

The happiness recipe

What is the, happiness recipe?

Becky: Sometimes I worry that when I say the, happiness recipe, people are going to be like, That’s it?  But here’s the deal. And you’ve sort of set it in your definition. But the recipe for maximum, happiness, is super simple.

Do more of what matters to you, and less of the rest.

Simple, though, obviously, doesn’t mean easy. There’s a lot that goes into that very short phrase and into it’s execution.  I’ve identified what I think are  the three areas of the, happiness recipe. Three areas where there can be gaps that stop us from executing on the, happiness recipe.

  1. And the first is what I call the, authenticity gap. Do we know what matters most to us? And are we willing to claim it publicly? Because to live it, you must be willing to speak it. You must be willing to share it.  Be willing to have other people see it.
  2. Then there’s the middle gap of the, happiness recipe.  I call that the, emotional energy gap, or the, mindset gap, that’s all the beliefs and feelings that get in the way of us executing on that knowledge of what makes us happy.

We know what matters most to us, we know the goal or purpose that we want to be working towards; but do we have the, mindset, and belief that will allow us to make that happen?

3. The third gap in the, happiness recipe, is the, physical energy gap, which is really the execution piece. Do you align your time energy and resources with what matters most to you?  I call it priority aligned living.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Book: The Happiness Recipe

You told us about your book the , happiness recipe, we all know we can pick up a copy on Amazon, but give us your website and maybe a couple of your social media handles or so that people can connect with you.

Becky: My website which is www.untanglehappiness.com. And on there you can find all the social media links to connect with me on social media. You can also find a link to my book The Happiness recipe and you can learn about the work that I do.

Myrna: It’s been an incredible conversation. We talked about, happiness, the big takeaway from this conversation is our, sources of happiness. If you were to ask someone  Are they happy?  They’re probably going to be talking about, is my life good? Is my husband good to me? Am I making enough money? Am I living my dream life?

They’re going to think of the big things that cause, happiness.

Transform your Mind Podbean
Transform your Mind Podbean

Sources of happiness

I found that, definition of happiness, is working towards a goal or purpose.  Happiness, comes from taking those steps towards it. That  is what makes you happy, when you’re moving towards something.  When you feel stuck, or you think you’re going backwards, is when you’re unhappy. So, it’s the same thing, finding moments to bring you joy, understand your, sources of happiness, can be as simple as clean sheets, or taking a bath, everybody can do that. Everybody can find, happiness, sitting inside a tub, you don’t have to have waterfalls!

You can find, happiness, by taking a walk.  Happiness, for me is walking in a park, you can find a park with trees everywhere. Find your, source of happiness, if could be a good book, it could be clean sheets, it could be taking a bath, whatever is your, source of happiness, start there and then you pick a goal or a purpose and you take little baby steps towards it.

Once you are moving in the right direction, you are going to be happy. So, thank you, Becky, for that simple, happiness recipe. It is a very simple recipe. Head over to Becky’s website, connect with her on social media and pick up a copy of her book.

‘The Happiness Recipe: A Powerful Guide to Living What Matters’.

Additional Resources

How to be Happy with Less

Rewiring Your Brain To Develop a Fitness Mindset

Brian Keane Fitness Mindset

Marathons, can be everything from 25 miles to 200 miles potentially. What I love so much about them is the, fitness mindset, you have to develop to complete them.  Everyone on a, weight loss, journey has the same issues, it’s like – Oh, I want the ice cream in the fridge, the voice in your head is telling you to eat that ice cream, you have to learn to override that voice and don’t eat the ice cream.  It’s the exact same voice that tells you that you can’t do this, weight loss, thing.

I’m talking to Brian Keane. He’s a personal trainer, nutritionist, best-selling author and ultra athlete. Today, we’re going to be talking on the topic; “Rewiring Your Mindset for Fitness.”  In order for you to keep going even when your body tells you to stop, you’ve got to have a, fitness mindset.

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Bio

BRIAN KEANE: Over the past seven years, Brian has gone from working full time as a schoolteacher to one of Ireland and the UK’s leading thought leaders on all things health, fitness and nutrition. Brian is the author of two best sellers “The Fitness Mindset” and “Rewire Your Mindset.

On top of his ever-growing social media platforms, with over half a million followers, he also hosts one of the world’s top health podcasts which is #1 on the iTunes Health Charts. He has spoken at major wellness events around the world such as Wellfest Ireland, Mefit Dubai and was a Keynote speaker at Google HQ in Dublin for their 2018 wellness event.

Among his many fitness and athletic achievements, Brian has transitioned from a professional fitness expert to an, ultra-endurance athlete, running, through the Sahara, the Arctic, and completing a 100-mile ultra-marathon.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

How Brian’s journey to a Fitness Mindset Started

Myrna: Can you share your  journey from school teacher to an, ultra endurance athlete?

Brian: I started to work as a, personal trainer, for two years. I worked as elementary school teacher during the day and worked as a, personal trainer, at a gym at nighttime. Basically, I tried to get that business up and, running, and eventually, I got to the point where every time I got paid from a, personal training, client. I was like, I can’t believe I’m getting paid for this!

Myrna: We’re going to talk about a,  fitness mindset but, how did you get to  the, entrepreneur mindset?

Brian: I found the success clues.  It didn’t really matter whether it was leaving a teaching job to overcome that fear or somebody that’s trying to lose 100 pounds of weight. We all have these stories that hold us back. We all have these fears and insecurities. When I was starting to develop that, fitness mindset, it became my whole philosophy.  When it comes to, fitness, you need to have a little education on how to get in shape and it looks different for everybody.

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Nutrition and the fitness mindset

My nutritional philosophy is doing what you can stick to.  What’s your goal?  What foods do you enjoy and how do you find a diet that you can stick to over the long term?’ It doesn’t need to feel like a diet.  That’s my whole nutritional philosophy to have a, fitness mindset. It’s the same for weightlifting.

Not everyone does, ultra marathons. Most of the people I work with do a daily step count, they hate exercise. So we go cool, you’ve got 10,000 steps today, that’s a start. I want you to do some exercise every day, so 10,000 steps that’s okay.

It’s just about what can you do in the long term or what can you stick to? I think that the, fitness mindset, is all about – here’s the basic education on how to lose weight or how to build muscle or how to get a bit stronger and here’s the, mindset, to keep it because that’s the really important thing. You talk about, mindset, on your podcast all the time; the, mindset, is what allows you to keep it and developing is what’s going to reap the most dividends over time.

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Transform your Mind Podbean

 

Staying the course: weight loss tips

Myrna: It’s sustainable change when you change your, mindset. It’s actually sustainable.  If you change your diet or you change something external, it’s not your, mindset, then it’s easy for you to revert back to your old habits.

What are the biggest mistakes that people make when it comes to their diet? Can you share some, weight loss tips?

What are some, weight loss tips, if you want to lose 20 pounds?

Weight loss vs fat loss

Brian: I’ll surely give you some, weight loss tips, because when it comes to understanding, weight loss, or, fat loss, first thing is not confusing those two things because they’re two different things.

Weight loss, is lowering the numbers on a scale. Fat loss is reducing the amount of fat in your body.

A lot of people use those terms interchangeably, but they’re actually two different things. It is very easy to manipulate, weight loss, a lot of them fad diets – bad diets, juice diets etc. They manipulate, weight loss, because they massively restrict calories, reduce carbohydrate and as a result you will weigh less when you step on a scale, but doesn’t mean your fat levels have come down.

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Weight loss from Fat reduction

Whereas, fat reduction, on the other hand, is that you’ve got what’s called a calorie deficit that your body has to take some of that stored fat and burn it for fuel. When it comes to, weight loss, there’s only one thing you really need to understand –  it’s how calories basically work.  If you consume too many calories, more energy is added to your body. Your body takes that extra energy and stores it as fat, the same thing works in reversing a calorie deficit.

If you consume fewer calories, your body doesn’t have enough from food. It has to go into storage body fat and use that for food. So, when people know that it’s really about finding what dietary system works for and what you like to do:

  • People will do a, keto diet,
  • Some will go,  plant-based diet,
  • Others will go for clean eating,
  • Some people will count their calories,
  • and a few people will find other plans that works for them.
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Jumping In:  Planning Your weight loss

I’m all about the basic science of, nutrition, when it comes to calories and then finding a nutritional plan that you can stick to over the long term. When it comes to, weight loss tips, it’s about sustainability and finding what you can do over the long term.  If you want to go a bit stricter with this, you don’t have to count every calorie, you don’t have to do any of these things, you just have to make a little more of a conscious food choice.

What am trying to say here is understand that, weight loss, and, fat loss, are two different things, just figure out what you’re tracking. However, I recommend that anyone who’s obese or overweight should track, weight loss, because it’s easier. You don’t have to track fat, you’re better to just step on a scale and see, but if you’re somebody that just wants to feel a bit better and drop a dress size or two or just have your clothes getting a bit looser, you need to track body fat.

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Transform Your Mind Podnews

Building mental toughness and a fitness mindset

Myrna: One of the things that you have done is not only you’ve gone from school teacher to, personal trainer, but you’ve developed,  mental toughness, because you’re now an, ultra endurance athlete. How does somebody build mental toughness, and a, fitness mindset, to achieve some of their, weight loss, or, fat loss, goals?

Brian: When it comes to, mental toughness, I think breaking down the misconceptions around it is probably the most important thing before you go into the tips.   One of the, mental toughness, issues I had was realizing some people were born mentally tougher and some people were just mentally tougher as opposed to realizing that it’s something that you develop over time.

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Mental toughness and fitness

It’s like a muscle-like, what I call your, mental toughness,  muscle, the more you exercise it, the more you develop it, the stronger it gets.  When it comes to, mental toughness, they’re kind of two sides of the same coin with self discipline (i.e. when you exercise that muscle and get stronger) over time. When it comes to developing, mental toughness, what I normally ask  people is “Can you anchor your day in two or three things that will support you moving forward?”

Successful people do what they have to do regardless of how they feel or think.

You can develop that, mindset, anybody can develop that, mindset, over time. It’s one of my brain tattoos. Another way to put that is you’re not always motivated for fitness, right? But do it unmotivated until you feel motivated.  What I mean is you do it until when becomes natural.

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Running for fitness

I don’t really enjoy, running, that much, but I run a little every day just to keep that, mental toughness, muscle ticking. I’m sitting here thinking of the, mental toughness, of running a marathon over 100 miles, and maybe after 25th miles you’re broken down. You can’t seem to go anymore, but you put in a one foot in front of the next and your foot feels like rubber yet you keep going.

Myrna: I don’t know if you have read the book “Can’t Hurt Me” by David Goggins or the book  “Finding Ultra.”  Finding Ultra was about a 40 year old guy who was having problems walking up the stairs and then he transitioned to become a plant-based,  ultra endurance athlete.  It was so fantastic reading about his journey to becoming an, iron man, and, ultra endurance athlete. Of course, David Goggins talked about the, fitness mindset, in his book “Can’t hurt me”  he kept going on his marathon runs sometimes, running, on broken legs – developing the, mental toughness, to keep going at all costs.

This is the exciting part of this interview, you don’t like, running, yet you run 100 miles ultra-marathons. Tell us about that.

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Transform Your Mind Amazon
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Marathons are the metaphors for life

Brian: Marathons, can be everything from 25 miles to 200 miles potentially. What I love so much about them is the, fitness mindset, you have to develop to complete them.  When you’re running an earth, marathon, like it’s the biggest metaphor for life of all time.

Even a normal, marathon, is difficult  for the average person.  You get tired;  you don’t want to continue. The pain is unbearable,  the voice in your head is telling you to stop, but you just have to learn to override that voice and put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.

Everyone on a, weight loss, journey has the same issues, it’s like – Oh, I want the ice cream in the fridge, the voice in your head is telling you to eat that ice cream, you have to learn to override that voice and don’t eat the ice cream.  It’s the exact same voice that tells you that you can’t do this, weight loss, thing.

When you let the negative voice in your head win

You have to learn to master and control that voice in your head and you get better at that over time as you consistently move forward on whatever journey you’re doing. For me, it was so. What happened to me (probably the best story), I can give here was in 2019. I ran through the arctic circle in a, marathon, of about 230 kilometers. The tip is north of Sweden, it was minus 40 degrees the coldest I’ve ever experienced.

There was one point where (I have a photo up on my Instagram), where my eyelids froze over because obviously you’ve got water in your eyelids and it was so cold. My eyelids froze that I couldn’t blink properly and it kind of gives you an idea on the conditions. But, 86 kilometers from the end of that race, my Achilles tore so that the tendon at the top of your ankle just above your ankle and now the likes of David Goggins, and hearing these people helped me massively, because they’ve been through these conditions.

We talked about the race where he was pooping himself and had to strap up his foot with stress fractures. I would read a lot of those books, listen to a lot of those podcasts in the lead up to these events. When my Achilles tore 86 kilometers from the end in the arctic, it was a case of well – “I’m not coming back to finish this and do this again”. I’ll be like if I don’t do it now, I’m not coming back and for me, I had a little of self-awareness, that I think everyone needs to bring to their own mindset. For me, I’m not able to give myself a, plan B.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Never Have a Plan B when developing a fitness mindset

I can’t give myself an out because from experience to somebody that’s quit races and backed out of things and pulled out of things, if I give myself an out, I generally take it when times get tough. When I went to the arctic, I had no, plan B, my goal was I either finish this or get to the Arctic Circle line which is 230 kilometers from where I started or I get shipped out on a helicopter. I was like, it sound crazy now, but I had to make that commitment to myself before I go now.

Not everybody has to do that, but having some version of no, plan B (like somebody else’s no, plan B), is you don’t buy your favorite foods while you’re starting on a, weight loss, journey until you get to a certain point where you can reintroduce them.  it’s all relative in terms of how somebody would apply that into their own life. For me, developing that, fitness mindset,  was just putting one step in front of the other and keep moving forward.

Anyone can develop that, fitness mindset, over time, that no, plan B, mindset. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, whatever that is, you’ve lost 100 pounds and you’re trying to lose 150, but you’ve gone up 10 pounds. What do you need to do now that’s going to help you get back on track? It might be taking a break, and it might be going forward. It’s relatively based on the goal and you use that. You develop that going forward and you use the failures feedback. It’s never just a success.

Book: The Fitness Mindset
Book: The Fitness Mindset

The Fitness Mindset: Book

Myrna: Tell us about your books “The Fitness Mindset” and “Rewire Your Mindset”

Brian: Rewire Your Mindset, is an extension of the, Fitness Mindset. The Fitness Mindset, is the book that I could give to people that would help them with their, fitness, journey. This is how you get in shape and how you stay in shape. It’s a short book for people who don’t really read books.

Rewire your Mindset, on the other hand was the book that I didn’t feel like I could go to the grave inside me. That was the book I needed to put out on paper.  If something ever happened to me,  I wanted my daughter to be able to read it. I wanted to get this book out of me,  it was my legacy book. They were written in two completely different frames of mind.

The, fitness mindset, gets them up and running with their, fitness;  rewire your mindset, cements it. They’re like –  Oh! my God I am in the right place now, I’m a believer.

Conclusion

Rewire Your Mindset,  it’s very much all the misconceptions and beliefs that you have so you can take ownership back in the decisions you make. I split it up into, health, wealth and, fulfillment. Like the four quadrants, these are the areas of your life that need the most work.  Rewiring your mindset, so that you can get out of your own way effectively”. I love the quote, it’s normally attributed to the Buddha, but I don’t know who it’s from.

Your biggest enemy live between your two ears. Buddha

The whole book is about rewiring the way you see things so that the enemies in between your two ears can go after the body.  You can go after the dream job you want, you can go after the family relationship you want, you can go after the things that make you feel fulfilled. In my case, it’s ultra endurance events and spending time with my loved ones and my family. Other things that make me feel fulfilled and light me up inside is conversations like this one!

Myrna: As we wrap up Brian, it’s been an incredible conversation with you. I love your energy and physique. Congratulations on your podcast. What’s the name of your podcast?

Brian: Brian Keane podcast.

Additional Resources

How to Maintain Sustainable Weight Loss

Why is Renewing Your Mind Important?

Is it Possible to Love Your Enemy?

Can we love our enemy?

This is life coach Myrna Young and today I want to teach on the topic “Loving Your Enemy”.

In the King James Version of the Bible: Jesus Christ, says “But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

He goes further to say “do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also”

Listen to the audio here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9513477-is-it-possible-to-love-your-enemy.mp3?download=true

What does it mean to love your enemy

Most humans in the natural cannot live by the doctrine to, love your enemies, and neither could I, until I, transformed my mindset. You see the reason, Jesus Christ,  taught us to love our, enemies, is that the power of love, transforms.

For the last 9 months I have been in a battle with my, enemy. A racist neighbor who is the Vice President on my HOA. For months I allowed her to steal my peace. I know that evil intentions against another is a, karmic debt, so I battled against this, enemy, with my, spiritual warfare prayers.

Spiritual Warfare Prayer

Father God as we enter in spiritual warfare please cover us in your armor the breastplate of righteousness, faith, and the power of your word.

Let no weapon formed formed against me penetrate our heart and that all weapons formed against me and my family be returned to the sender void.

Anoint me of God that I will be strong in the word and I will be able to stand against the enemy.

Bless my heart and my tongue with the words of warfare in Jesus name.

I decree and declare that the anointing of Elisha will be upon me. That the God of Elisha and Joshua answer me by fire, that the sun and the moon won’t recognize me in this time of warfare. That the works of the enemy would not succeed and all the darts of wickedness will be sent back to the sender in the powerful name of, Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.

Father bless me with divine strength that you gave to Jacob that I will go out prepared and that I would know your will.  That my enemies will be unseated by fire. Amen

 Don’t give back the Hate your enemy gives you

I gave her back the same, hate, she gave me and prayed for her demise until one day I was listening to the book “The seat of the soul” by Gary Zukav and was convicted when he said that when we respond to hate with hate we enlarge the energy and become the same as the person who hates us.

We should instead, love our enemies, because light always erases darkness. So I started meditating and sending my, enemy, light and understanding, because I knew, hate, is a learned behavior and she is operating from lack of knowledge.

Then a few weeks ago I was watching the Netflix movie “The Best of Enemies” the movie was about a white ,clansman, and a, black activist. The, clansman, was the president of the, Ku Klux Klan,  and he believed that the white race was superior and that black people had no rights. The, black activist, was fighting for fair housing for blacks. Then someone burnt down the black school, (this was during the segregation age) so the fight changed to school integration. The white, clansman, and the, black activist, were opposing leaders on the integration issue.

Love Your Enemy and Send Them Light

The white, clansman, had a mentality ill son who was in an institution and because we teach our kids our, hate, the boy became unhinged when they placed a black boy to share his room. The boy would scream all day saying the black boy was a monster. The white, clansman, asked  the institution to remove the black boy, but they told him if he wanted the boy removed he had to pay for a private room. The, clansman, was poor, he could not afford the $75 extra per week for a private room.

The, black activist, heard the story and felt sorry for the son of the, clansman, and used her influence to have him transferred to a private room at no cost to the, clansman.  This act of kindness and love started to change the, clansman, heart against black people. Then his white friend told him that other than his wife, the black man who was his store manager is the only one he trusts in this world, because this black man served with him in Vietnam and saved his life.

That completed the, transformation. His heart changed. The power of love and light moved in, and the darkness and hate moved out.

Dr Martin Luther King Jr on Loving our Enemies

How do you go about loving your, enemies? Dr Martin Luther King Jr says, I think the first thing is this: In order to, love your enemies, you must begin by analyzing self. And I’m sure that seems strange to you, that I start out telling you this morning that you, love your enemies, by beginning with a look at self. It seems to me that that is the first and foremost way to come to an adequate discovery to the how of this situation.

Now, I’m aware of the fact that some people will not like you, not because of something you have done to them, but they just won’t like you. I’m quite aware of that.

Some people aren’t going to like You
  • Some people aren’t going to like the way you talk.
  • Most people aren’t going to like you because you can do your job better than they can do theirs.
  • People aren’t going to like you because other people like you, and because you’re popular, and because you’re well-liked, they aren’t going to like you.
  • Some aren’t going to like you because your hair is a little shorter than theirs or your hair is a little longer than theirs.
  • Some of them won’t like you because your skin is a little brighter than theirs; and others aren’t going to like you because your skin is a little darker than theirs.
  • Some are going to dislike you, not because of something that you’ve done to them, but because of various jealous reactions and other reactions that are so prevalent in human nature.

Who is Your Enemy

But after looking at these things and admitting these things, we must face the fact that an, enemy,  might dislike us because of something that we’ve done in the past.  Some personality attribute that we possess, something that we’ve done in the past and we’ve forgotten about it; but it was that something that aroused the, hate response, within the individual. That is why I say, begin with yourself. There might be something within you that arouses the tragic, hate response, in the other individual.

And this is what Jesus means when he said: “How is it that you can see the mote in your brother’s eye and not see the beam in your own eye?” Or to put it in Moffatt’s translation: “How is it that you see the splinter in your brother’s eye and fail to see the plank in your own eye?” And this is one of the tragedies of human nature. So we begin to love our enemies and love those persons that hate us whether in collective life or individual life by looking at ourselves.

A second thing that an individual must do in seeking to, love his enemy, is to discover the element of good in his enemy.  Every time you begin to, hate, that person and think of hating that person, realize that there is some good there.  Look at those good points which should over-balance the bad points.

Can we love our enemy?

So, the question is can we, love our enemies? I say we can. There is a saying that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. I say, hate, is the same way.

Joel Osteen teaches that when we stamp things negative, we allow them to steal our joy and happiness. I stamp, hate, from my, enemy, as positive, because I believe that God will turn whatever my, enemy, meant to harm me for my good. His word says

“’For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Until next time blessings

Additional Resources

Is Love the Same in Christianity, Hinduism and Buddhism?

 

Entrepreneurship: Tips for Women Battling Mental Illness

Entrepreneurship - Tips for mental illness

Entrepreneurship, is the process of setting up a business. For, entrepreneurs, battling, mental illness, controlling their, emotions, is their superpowers, when it comes to building a business of our dreams.

My guest today is Scout Sobel. She is the author of the “Emotional Entrepreneur” and we are going to be having a very interesting conversation today on, mental health, specifically the, mental health, of entrepreneurs.  As you consider, entrepreneurship,  you need to understand how our, emotions, guide you in everyday life.

Download and Listen to the full interview here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9479167-entrepreneurship-tips-for-women-battling-mental-illness.mp3?download=true

Bio

Scout experienced her first depressive episode at the age of 14 and was formally diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, at the age of 20. Living with a, mental illness, brought an onslaught of symptoms: anxiety, hypomania, depression, catatonia, psychosis, and, suicidal ideation.

Her perception of her life weighed down on her so poignantly that she dropped out of college, could not hold a job or internship, was hospitalized, experimented with medleys of prescription medication, and went through two outpatient programs.

One day her husband (then boyfriend) looked at her lovingly and said, “I don’t care if you’re depressed. If you are depressed and hopeful, I can be in this relationship. If you are depressed and hopeless, I can’t do this with you.” 

Book Emotional Entrepreneur

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Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

That was the moment her life changed. She started infusing her life with hope and began to take radical responsibility for her emotional state. And after intense, self-development, work – support groups, holistic healing modalities, prayer, routines, and physical wellness, she found, entrepreneurship. Through, entrepreneurship, she learned to unconditionally love her life through the pain, challenges, and celebrations. She learned that she wanted to be here.

Today, Scout is the Founder and CEO of Scout’s Agency, a female-focused PR agency that specializes in getting women as guests on, podcasts.

Her debut book, The Emotional Entrepreneur, provides the, mindset, and, emotional tools, she learned from managing her, mental illness, that have helped her succeed in business and, entrepreneurship.

Entrepreneurship and mental illness

Myrna: I want to start off with something you say in your book “The Emotional Entrepreneur”, you said that our, emotions, are our guiding superpowers when it comes, entrepreneurship, and building a business of our dreams. How did your, emotions, guide you to become an, entrepreneur?

Scout: Very shortly after I was diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, my husband said those sentences that changed my life and I started infusing hope into my days. Which beautifully led me to faith through that process of showing up to support groups, writing gratitude lists etc. My gratitude list and my journal, every single morning reading every self-help book Barnes and Noble had to offer.

I was sitting with my friend at a coffee shop and we were looking through an Indie magazine (I love fashion magazines). I just looked at her and I asked do you want to start a magazine with me? She said yes, let’s do it. We were going to print it at Kinko’s and pass it out to our friends for free. This was going to be a borderline arts and crafts project.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

What does it mean to be an Entrepreneur

Suddenly, something in my mind just flipped and immediately I went home. I got the Instagram handle, I searched for printers in the area and then set up five appointments with all the best printers in 50 mile vicinity. I went to see them and then they quoted me ten thousand dollars. I said to myself, ‘I have to find ten thousand dollars’.

Then, I started a kick starter campaign and fast forward, our second issue was picked up by national distributor and sold in newsstands across the country. I was 22 at the time.

The third issue had musician Halsey on the cover and I woke up to an email from Barnes and Noble asking if they could distribute my magazine as well.

So, in that three-issue process of, entrepreneurship, and  running that magazine, I went from the girl that had to pull herself out of bed, to becoming an, entrepreneur, who was in charge of everything. It was like walking through quicksand.   I couldn’t deal with responsibility. I became the girl that over functioned. I became the girl that went the extra mile in such a short time.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Becoming an Entrepreneur

I found out that, entrepreneurship, was two things that I felt:

  1. Entrepreneurship, has the same highs and lows as, bipolar disorder.  My mind could really understand the emotional pattern behind it.
  2. I was unable to show up for the responsibilities in my life, because I always had a psychiatrist note that could excuse me.  I didn’t have to go to friend’s birthday party because I had a, mental illness.  All my friends would understand or try to understand etc.

I really used my, mental illness, as a, crutch, to avoid responsibility and avoid showing up in my life in the ways that I really needed to, but when it came to, entrepreneurship, there was no note a psychiatrist could write out because I couldn’t tap out of it .

If I tapped out, the whole thing would fall apart, so it was almost this contradictory paradox.  I had to have all the responsibility on my shoulders in order for me to show up, I had to be completely present in every aspect.   So, I found in the beginning of, entrepreneurship, that I showed up because I had the freedom to create what I wanted to create and I couldn’t call in sick, that didn’t work anymore.

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Myrna: I also believe that, happiness, is working towards a goal and there is no better goal than when you’re working for yourself and you’re trying to grow your business as an, entrepreneur.  I also like your confession that you were using the doctor’s notes as a cop-out in life.

A lot of people do that, they lead with their illnesses. It doesn’t even have to be, mental illness, it could be a physical illness and they lead with that. Oh! I can’t do this because of this, mental illness, it’s a cop-out because we know being in the inspirational space, that people overcome challenges all the time.

They defy odds and do amazing things with no hands and no legs.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Are you addicted to your mental illness

Scout: I think it’s important. I don’t know if it’s touched upon enough and it’s something I say that can ruffle feathers or maybe trigger some people. I was addicted to my, depression. My, depression, my anxiety and my, mental illness, while it kept me in such distress and pain and chaos and crying fits and, anxiety attacks.

It kept me in my comfort zone, it kept me in the predictable, it kept me in what my body was used to. So, in many ways, it held me back from my healing because it said “no, that freedom out there, that’s unknown – (we don’t know what’s going to happen over there).

Let’s just stay in the pain so we can predict what’s happening, we know how this is going to go. It prevented me and allowed me not go through my formative early 20s not assuming responsibility for my emotional state.

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
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Taking responsibility for mental illness

So my, mental illness, was very real and tangible, and loves to visit me at times when I would prefer it not to.

There was a lot of moments and I think most of my suffering came from the fact that I allowed myself to play the victim.  I blamed the cards that I was dealt on my despair and suffering. The minute I realized and took responsibility and accepted that these were the cards that I was dealt, I started to use my emotional landscape as my superpower.

Today, ten years after being diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, and  16 years after having my first depressive episode, I feel wildly safe in my, emotions.

I think they are my biggest teachers, mentors and guides. They have helped me with, entrepreneurship. They are the reasons I am successful with Scott’s Agency. I also started recognizing that when I got into, entrepreneurship, this game was a, personal development, game. It wasn’t a play, it wasn’t a market strategy (those are all parts of it) but at the end of the day, successful, entrepreneurs, are successful because of their emotional strength and their, mindset.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
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What does it mean to be an entrepreneur

I saw that so many women who had the resources, the education, the access to funds, are not getting into the game of their dreams because of self-doubt, because of fear and anxiety. That’s when I woke up. My, bipolar disorder, primed me to walk through emotional hell, to gather the strength and the tools that I could then apply to living out my purpose (which is running Scouts Agency, writing books etc).

So, once I realized that it was the emotional landscape that was holding us all back from success, that’s when the light bulb went off in my brain.

Myrna: Yes, it’s true our, emotions, dictate the quality of our lives which is basically why I named this show “Transform your Mind to transform your life” because if you believe that you can, you can. And if you have this, crutch, that says you were born poor or you were born black or you were born with a, mental illness, or you were born with whatever, crutch, that you want to tell yourself, that prevents you from moving forward, and your life is not going to be transformed.

Scout: Everyone can find a, crutch, no matter who they are, no matter if their life is technically great on paper or technically really unfortunate circumstances, we can all easily rely on a, crutch.

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Entrepreneurship and the emotional ride of uncertainty

Myrna: How can, entrepreneurs, handle the emotional rollercoaster and what kind of, mindset shifts, that they need in order to become a successful, entrepreneur? You talked about your purpose and the fact that your, bipolar disorder, with your highs and lows allowed you to have the emotional strength to become an, entrepreneur.

Let’s talk about the, entrepreneur, that is doing everything. What kind of advice would you give to that, entrepreneur, (female) let’s say that wants to start a magazine or a hair salon or something and has to deal with all the aspects of, entrepreneurship, and the uncertainty?

Scout:  First cultivate the belief that you’re safe in your, emotions, and then unconditionally accept that uncomfortable, emotions, are highly part of this game and that you will survive them.

That you are safe in your, emotions, and that you can reduce the suffering above the pain. What I mean by that is if you can limit the, anxiety, about the, anxiety, or the sadness about the, depression, we can work with the root cause.  Uncomfortable, emotions, and really understand what it’s trying to tell us, that makes you an, entrepreneur.

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Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

Don’t expect entrepreneurship to be fun

So, before you jump into the game, understand that you’re going to be juggling all the hats.

  • You’re going to be the customer service expert,
  • The graphic designer,
  • You’re going to be the social media manager
  • The sales manager.
  • The website designer

All these roles that you have to figure out.  On top of that you’re going to have to walk through the uncomfortable discomfort that comes with that responsibility. So, know and accept that’s part of the game.

It’s really suiting up and really pulling in from your personal power and strength. It’s not expecting that, entrepreneurship, is going to be easy, fun and glamorous.  That you’re always in alignment, you’re flowing with creative ideas and your courses are selling out with six figure launches automatically etc. The fires will come more often than the successes.

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
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Entrepreneurship is living from the end

Myrna: As a Lifecoach, I understand what you’re trying to say, but it’s a very hard pill to swallow, because people go into, entrepreneurship, with the dream of riches and wealth and they don’t necessarily go into it thinking of the fires. They understand it’s hard work, but it’s very hard to smile and say I’m going to walk through the fire.  Tony Robbins, make you do the fire walk and I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s setting you up for that you can walk through the fire and not get burnt.

I follow Dwayne Dwyer and he talks about, living from the end. So let’s say that you become an, entrepreneur, for a certain end purpose or end game.  When you’re walking through the fire, if you can see that end then it will give you the strength in order to not chuck it in and to move forward.

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Entrepreneurs need to prioritize their mental health

You said that every, entrepreneur, should prioritize their, mental health, but not every, entrepreneur, is going to have, depression, or, bipolar disorder. However, mental health, covers a gamut of things.  So what’s your advice on that?

Scout: When I wrote the ‘Emotional Entrepreneur’, it was really not for the mentally ill. I think the beauty of the conversation about, mental illness, that it is coming to the forefront in the last few years.  When I was diagnosed 10 years ago, no one is talking about, mental illness. Now the conversation is beautifully being opened. In the conversation about, mental illness, being open, the conversation about everyone’s daily, mental health, is being opened and that’s really the people I want to talk to.

All of my messages are not for those who struggle with, mental illness, it’s for those who have, mental health, which is all of us. I think, for too long we’ve been told that if we don’t have a, mental illness, then there’s nothing we get to prioritize. When our experience here on earth is based on how we relate to our, emotions, and many times we act in spite of our, emotions, when our, higher self, knows better or our, higher self, would have had a different plan for us.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Mental health is not only for people diagnosed with mental illness

So, if you’re an, entrepreneur, and you are listening and you’re like; ‘well, I’m going to go through fires, I’m going to go through ups and downs, I’m going to have to figure out whatever messed up our product or makes a client unhappy. Now, I got to figure out how to make payroll and all of those things you might as well emotionally feel safe during that process because your business is going to soar if you are emotionally sound and strong within.

Myrna: I’m glad you’re saying that, mental health, is not necessary for people that have been diagnosed with, mental illness, but it’s very important to keep your, mental health, strong.

One of the things that I love about your bio is that you talk about your prescription medication for the people that have been diagnosed with, mental illness. Can you share your journey?

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

Prescription medication for mental illness

Scout: This month celebrates one year of being, psychiatry medication, free and I don’t say that to promote the stigma or to promote anyone to go off their medication. I simply say because, psychiatry medication, got me to a point where I was able to go off them and then flourish in my life. Though, there were a lot of dark moments with me and my trial and error for medication.

If anyone is listening to this, and he’s considering, psychiatry medication, for a, mental illness, diagnosis or, mental health, diagnosis, and he’s feeling ashamed around that, I really invite you to end that shame and that stigma. There are times in our lives where we need to take things to physically and mentally treat our illnesses, our bodies, our spirits and souls etc. I never felt shame around taking the, psychiatric medication.

I really invite you to not passively wait for, psychiatry medication, to come save your mental state, but to really recognize that it’s just a little boost and the rest you really have to show up for. The idea that, psychiatry medication, is going to heal you completely, for me was very helpful because I wasn’t just passively playing the victim and waiting for something else to take over me and heal me. Medication really does a very small percentage of your healing for you.

Psychiatry medication is just the launching pad to healing

Psychiatry medication, can provide that launching pad, but really get ready for yourself to show up for you. I would say to really be your own advocate in the psychiatry office, ask about the symptoms, ask about what’s coming off the medication, ask about the withdrawals, do I have to ease off for two months?

I say this because I was put on a, psychiatry medication, where I was not given the correct information about the withdrawals and it was a really traumatic experience for me. So, it’s really good to ask about the side effects.

The Emotional Entrepreneur

Myrna: Can you tell us about your book “The Emotional Entrepreneur”? You said it was not written for people that have been diagnosed specifically with, mental illness, but to help people prioritize, mental health.  I like that play on words. What do you want the readers to walk away after reading your book?

Scout: The Emotional Entrepreneur is really the emotional guidebook for, entrepreneurship. If you are someone who wants to start an agency, a podcast, a product based business, a life coaching, career etc; you might be purchasing books on how to manage clients. You might even be purchasing books on how to hit six figures, you might be purchasing books on how to close more sales, deals, how to brand your website etc, this book is the emotional part of all of that. This is going to be your guidebook towards navigating fear, combating impostor syndrome and enjoying yourself along the way.

By celebrating small wins and believing in yourself, it’s going to help you reframe your relationship to your, anxiety, as you get started. It’s going to make you understand that, entrepreneurship, and starting your own business is the biggest personal development game, and you get to be emotionally supported in that.

Transform your mind PTWWN TV
PTWWN TV

Conclusion

Myrna: How can readers connect with you on social media or get a copy of your book?

Scout: You can follow me on Instagram ‘@scoutsobel’, that’s the best place to connect with me. In my bio, there are links to Scout’s Agency, my podcast and you can buy the book there. You can as well get the book on Amazon when you search for “The Emotional Entrepreneur by Scott Sobel”.

Myrna: One of my biggest takeaways about, depression, was reading the book; “The Work” by Byron Katie. I mean I have never actually heard of a, depression, like she went through.  She said that she was so depressed that she had to put herself in a halfway house, and she laid on the floor and couldn’t get up and couldn’t move until one day she decided to change her inner dialogue and change her mindset.

Thank you guys all supporting the Transform Your Mind podcast, please leave us a review on iTunes if you found this content inspirational.

Additional Resources

Understanding Mental Illness – My Bipolar Life

 

How to Use Your Words To Change Eating Habits

Eat Your Words

The, words, that I used all the time was “I shouldn’t have eaten that”.  Then I always pray to God for help to stop me from, binge eating.  I didn’t want to, eat, all of that food, so I became like almost obsessive about, dieting, and my, relationship with food.

My guest today is Isabel Chiara.

This post is about transforming self-destructive eating behaviors with self-compassionate dialogue.

Listen to the full interview here:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/episodes/9356698

 

Introduction Eat Your Words

Isabel’s new book EAT YOUR WORDS is not the typical, self-help diet book, Instead, Isabel’s approach is a more narrative, semi-autobiographical exploration of the sensual-and-painful relationship to food so many of us can’t escape. The book expertly coaches from life lessons and experiences of the uber-relatable curvaceous girl entry into womanhood.  Her hearty Italian appetite make for a complex-carb tale about the depth of our relationship with self-nourishment.

Myrna: Isabel, can you share with our listeners your own journey through, body shaming,  and self-discovery?

Isabel: Of course. In my own journey, food, eating and, dieting, has always been a big point of contention my whole life. It was through this non-acceptable way that I eat and always focus on the food. I always guilty after eating,  like I shouldn’t have eaten it.

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Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

Your Words are important

The, words, that I used all the time was “I shouldn’t have eaten that”.  Then I always pray to God for help to stop me from, binge eating.  I didn’t want to, eat, all of that food, so I became like almost obsessive about, dieting, and my, relationship with food.

I started using, words, like there’s a certain way to, eat, there’s a certain way to be with food, and, diet. Each day I try to do it, there was always a new, diet. That is what has been the journey of my life. It’s been a journey of the kind of needs to come to terms with on some level and I think the, body shaming, was me telling myself my body is this way because I ate all that food.

Many times in my book, my main character, I say she’s walking around with no head. This is to highlight that sometimes we are disconnected our head from our body.  It’s a very common feeling or a life existence that is happening on some level. It’s kind of introspection book on the whole journey of the, body shaming, and coming to terms with the body, mind and spirit on some level.

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Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

Eat Your Words: Stop the negative self talk

Myrna: How did you transition from walking around kind of discombobulated – which is a word where you’re not connected and then you got to the point where you’re going to, eat your words, because you’re not going to be telling yourself these negative things about food. What was your transition? Did you go to a Therapist?

Isabel: There have been a million people involved in this process, because you’re always a person with focus and you’re always trying to come up with a resolution to stop, self destructive eating.  It’s almost like I became a researcher. It was really a journey of finding what was really in my own soul, what was I really like?

  • What’s up with me?
  • What’s bothering me?
  • What’s the pain about?
  • What am I trying to stuff down with food?
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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

The Mind Body Connection to Dieting

If your body and mind are disconnected, you can’t even figure out what your, words, are saying to you.  I saying to myself on a daily basis, a lot of negative, words, about myself and my body. I saying these, words, to myself before I, eat, and after I, eat.

What happens is when you take yourself to task on some level, when you start to really become conscious,  you notice your, words. First thing I became conscious was I knew I needed to be in my body.  Because when you are out of your body you eat unconsciously.  For different people, it’s different things. I started to work out because I needed to feel my body and I was out of it.

The other thing was, as long as you’re feeling your body, then you get to hear your, words, and what you’re saying to yourself. So, the, words, started to become more conscious. What I have realized lately is that to be out of your body, you have to be really busy with things. If you’re busy, then you also have those, words, that are saying – oh! I’m so busy, I didn’t, eat, all day long and I’m starving. Now, I have a permission to just, eat, whatever I want, wherever I want and it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter which  is what we say to ourselves.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Self destructive Eating

Myrna: Where did your, self destructive eating, habits come from? I know you mentioned that you’re Italian and, Italian food, has a lot of carbs and pastas and things like that. Is that where your, eating habits, came from?

Isabel:  Yes, except for Italians are for the most part are thin! I mean I’m in the restaurant business. I started my whole life in a family restaurant business, so my focus in life became food. At an early age, when we made food, we made huge meals. I never knew what a, portion size, was like. I never used the, words,  portion size, until I was in my 30s and 40s!

I would go to my friend’s homes and they would have like a bit of rice, or a bit of meat. I was like confused when I was younger, because that was never what happened at our house. I understand now the, portion size, mentality that really showed up in my whole scope of thought. My whole thought pattern shifted.

I was no longer eating like I was at an you can eat buffet.   My, eating habits, as a child made me end up with this  buffet mentality.

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Coping with Words and Body Shaming

Myrna:  At some point in time, you developed, body shame. You took me through your self-discovery, how did you use your, words, to stop, body shaming and accepting that you are a curvaceous girl?

Isabel:  Body shaming,  comes when you start a comparison with other people who are a certain size. You see people in a certain way and then you start looking at yourself as different. Each time you talk to people, you’re like wait, why don’t I look like you? But it doesn’t matter because we already internalized that there’s something wrong with us.

Whatever we look like, we want to be someone else. People start to say oh, for a little girly you’re eating a lot. Then you start to make a correlation with; I’m eating a lot, there’s weight here and there’s something wrong with what’s happening in me. I’m not okay and that’s how one starts to develop, body shame.

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Self destructive binge eating

Myrna: Why do you think we purposely distract ourselves when making food choices to the detriment of our health and, binge eating?

Isabel: I’m not a psychologist, I just know. I’ve been looking at this behavior for a long time. What I think is that we distract ourselves because we don’t want to feel the things that is going on in our life. I think a lot of times, when we do choose, binge eating, we are actually eating food as a distraction.

Maybe the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing kind of thing. A lot of times, we start to, eat, because we start to feel something’s coming up. It doesn’t matter what it is, it could be happy, it could be sad, it could be like anger and/or even bored. I, eat, when I’m bored.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Notice what going on in your body before you eat that food

When there’s nothing going on, there’s still something going on in your body. If there’s something going on your body, but you’re not present to it or you don’t want to know what it is or what for every reason, you’re not used to it.   I think a lot of times people don’t recognize their feelings or they judge their feelings.

I’m a night time eater. I could do all day long with no food (because every emotion from the day maybe was just piled up), but at night, I’m like a wreck for that. Not for nighttime or for that one time and it’s all starting to come up and then we’re like let’s just go for it and we start, binge eating.

Myrna: Yes, that has been my biggest struggle for a long period of time. I couldn’t stop eating at night. It’s a little under control now, but that was my biggest struggle for a while.

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Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
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Diet and Nutrition

Isabel: I decided to lose the word, diet. I decided to do something different for myself which eventually added more nourishment and nutrition to my day.  I first started with being in my body, and then I used my, words, to say let me give myself food instead of saying, I’m going to take away food and I’m not going to eat this.

I started giving myself different foods, I allowed myself to have more nutritious foods and I started creating a new mindset. This new mindset was alright. I was totally resistant to this, but I started finding a place that had green drinks. I could have green drinks which took the edge off of hunger and it made me feel in my body.  So,  instead of going into the business of my whole day, I’m going to add a green drink. Just one thing, I added nutrition instead of taking something away,  I was going to give myself things.

If someone once likes eating at night, instead of having the bad things we want to, eat, at night you and what would you give what did you give yourself to replace that because a green drink. Just starting to give yourself other more nutritional things maybe you want to give yourself more vegetables than that and rice.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Using Your Words to Change your Mindset

Myrna: How can those of us struggling with, weight gain, and a pure relationship to food face the issue head-on?

Isabel: The first thing I say is to, change your mindset.  Start creating an intention for yourself and start creating a, mindset, that you’re in the middle of the process. I always like to say we’re always in the middle of the process and that we are shifting. We’re always shifting and we’re always changing, even though it looks really bad – it always looks really bad before it gets really good. We’re going to start to use the right, words.

Myrna: Tell us about your book “Eat Your Words”, why you wrote it and what do you want someone that’s reading it to walk away with?

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
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Book: Eat your Words

Book Eat Your Words
Book Eat Your Words

Isabel: The book was a way to be conscious for myself like it really was. I wrote it for myself like a journal. I was really writing a book, but it was the stories of my life. So the goal was for me to get to some kind of resolution in my life. The stories are for people to really understand that they’re not struggling in this arena by themselves. This is really to bring the behaviors to consciousness and to show anybody that he/she is not the only one going through this. I mean most of the world is going through this on some level.

Now you become conscious of what the, words, are and how they affected our behaviors and through that, there is healing that can be done when you see something that somebody else is doing and you hear what their process is. I bring up a lot of processes.

Myrna: Where does the, “Eat Your Words,” come from? I’m assuming it’s internal dialogue.

Isabel: “Eat Your Words,” is internal dialogue and it starts at the origins of the family.

Myrna: It’s all about inner dialogue? But the inner dialogue as you can imagine is kind of runs your life and it could be conscious or unconscious.

Isabel: It wasn’t so sometimes.

Myrna: It’s unconscious right?

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict
Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

Isabel: It was the, words, that I would say, as my mantra was, oh I don’t care. The biggest, words, were “oh I don’t care”. However, once you start saying I don’t care, it doesn’t just apply to what you are eating.   It really becomes what you start to say to yourself, the, words, you use.

  • I don’t care,
  • Oh I don’t care about myself
  • So I don’t care what I put in my body.
  • Anyway I don’t care what becomes of my life.
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Conclusion

Myrna: How can readers connect with you and get a copy of your book?

Isabel: If anyone wants to get the first chapter of my book, just to see if they like it or if it works for them, they can go to https://isabel-chiara.com, on that page, they could download the first chapter for free or they could just buy the book on Amazon.

We also have a membership site called Healing and Activation Process Integrations. Happy place is what I call it. It’s going to be a lot of processes that are going to help people to get inside of themselves. It can move things and look at things differently and channel them differently.

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Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV
Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV

Additional Resources

How Ketogenic Diet Helps Reverse Diabetes

 

How to Reprogram your Unconscious Mind

unconscious mind

Your, unconscious mind,  is carrying out behaviors that sabotage your, conscious mind, 24 hours per day. In fact studies show that our, subconscious,  mind,  is running our lives 95% of the time. If you don’t,  reprogram your subconscious mind, you will continue to run the same, subconscious  programs, like a a tape recorder.  We have to erase the tape and rewrite the tape for it to play new programs.  Listen to the interview to learn how to, reprogram your unconscious mind.

Listen to the full interview here: 

Introduction, Unconscious mind

Whenever you are on autopilot, you are running, unconscious mind.  Have you ever gotten in your car and driven to your destination and you don’t recall how you got there.  That is your, unconscious mind, driving you to your destination.

Autopilot is just one of your, subconscious programs,  that has to do with your beliefs.

These, subconscious  programs, were downloaded to you before your 7th birthday are the programs your, unconscious mind,  play until you die; unless you, reprogram your subconscious mind.

Even if you become aware of your, subconscious programs, you still continue the behaviors because the, unconscious mind,  will keep playing the same, subconscious programs.  Think about your vinyl record.  Unless you scratch the record, it will play the same song forever!

When I was growing up my activity of choice  was reading Harlequin romances. I was brainwashed into believing that love looked and acted in a certain way. For example, all the leading men in my Harlequin romance novels, were rugged, tall, dark and good looking. All the leading ladies were independent and did not want a man’s help; so the man and the woman ended up feuding and hating each other until they realized that all, this attention they are placing on each other fighting,  were actually the flip side of love!

These lovers, leading men and ladies were never a good match.  Chemistry and raw physical attraction lead the way.  Thirty years later, I was still playing that, subconscious program,  It wasn’t until I met my husband that I started looking on the inside of a man, and not what he presented on the outside that I was able to, reprogram my unconscious mind,

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
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I was listening to a sermon by, Joel Osteen, a few months back and he was telling the story of, subconscious programs, with his sister. Joel said his sister was praying and asking God for a husband and God sent her a wonderful man; but she rejected him because he had red hair. He did not fit her, subconscious programs, for a mate. It took her years to reprogram her mindset  and love this man.

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Did you grow up in a home where your dad worked and your mom stayed home and watched the kids? You never saw your dad because he was always working and your family just had enough? That is your model of a family and today you are probably still running this, subconscious programs,

 

What is your, Unconscious Mind,  that needs to be rewritten?

I was a foster mom for years.  I see the, unconscious mind, in foster and adopted kids all the time. Especially since most of them came into foster care system before their 7th birthday.  They developed programs on, abandonment, attachment disorders, survival, most of them hoard food because their, unconscious mind, and  lack and survival.

Here are 5,  subconscious programs, Teenagers are running today

  1. Make generalizations (no one loves me, I’m always going to be a failure, I’ll never get a job or pass this test)
  2. Make choices and judgment based on past experiences.

3. Settle in life, don’t apply for jobs or get involved in extra curricular activities.

4. Reviews information and draws conclusions.

If someone breaks their heart, they learn to not trust people – to avoid being hurt again. If living in poverty, feel like will never get enough money to make it out of poverty. If get in a fight, feel they always need to protect them self

    5.  Accepts information literally and personally (take a lot of things said to heart, but not as constructive criticism)

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How to control your, Unconscious Mind

  1. A mental picture is worth a thousand words. Your, unconscious mind, will bring to pass any picture held in the mind and backed by faith.

This is the space I am spending a lot of time in, at the moment.  I am working on visualizing my goals and desires and speaking, affirmations.   I am having a hard time of it, because I am not a visual person. But this is the first step in controlling the, unconscious mind,  Visualizing what you want.  Let the, unconscious mind, find the way, you only have to give it the destination.

For example if you want to be married by the age of 30 and have 3 kids.  That is the mental picture you give your, unconscious mind,  The universe will find the man and arrange the kids! Just say, affirmations, every day to reprogram your, unconscious mind.

Daily Affirmations, like:

  • I will get married to the man of my dreams by age 30
  • The Universe will deliver to me the man of my dreams by the time I am 30
  • I will get married by age 30 and have 3 kids by age 35

Remember to give your, unconscious mind, only instructions that would elevate and heal. It is the secret to your success. Your, unconscious mind, cannot take a joke. Don’t say things like with my luck the man that shows up would be bowed legged with buck teeth!   Because guess what, hold that image in your mind for any length of time and that is what you will get, a bow legged man with buck teeth. Trust me on this.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher
  1. Use, Autosuggestion, to improve any degradation.

About 10 years ago I read, Deepak Chopra’s,  book called Grow Younger, Live Longer In this book Deepak taught us to say, affirmations, every day.  It went like this.

Daily Affirmations for aging younger

  • Every day, in every way, I am getting younger and younger,
  • my biological clock is set at a healthy 30 years of age,
  • I look and feel a healthy 30 years of age.
  • Every day I am renewing my mind and body by eating healthy foods,
  • I take nutritional supplements wisely, etc.

I don’t remember all of it.  I was saying these, affirmations, around my 40th birthday.  So over 20 years ago.  I still remember those, affirmations, because I said them every day for several months.

This year on  my 60th birthday, I posted a picture on Facebook and this girl commented.  She said “It is like you stopped aging at 30 years old.  You just said F**K it!  I am not getting any older! I do look 20 years younger than my chronological age and that’s because I rewrote my, subconscious programs,!

How to Rewrite  Your Subconscious Mind

In my, conscious mind, I was always planning out my future and all things I wanted it to entail.  I told myself, you will never be broke, you’re a go getter and you will always meet your basic necessities because of that.  This mindset, relays into my life because it reminds me that failure is never an option and all things are possible because I know it is.

Many times, I feel that I have programmed my, unconscious mind, for the success.  I heal myself faster from injuries.  For example, one time my eye was swollen, and I had a workshop coming up in 2 days.  I said to my, subconscious mind, don’t sweat it, you are going to get a warm rag and sleep with it on your eye, then you will use antibiotics and by the day of your workshop it will be gone.

Sure enough, the eye was not swollen anymore and I was able to facilitate my workshop with two functional eyes.  Furthermore, despite all the adversity I have experienced in my life, I was always sure that I would finish University and get my degree.  I programmed my, unconscious mind, to  prepare for the test.

Remember the, unconscious mind, is carrying out behaviors that sabotage the, conscious mind.

Our, subconscious programs, doesn’t stop at age 7; but continues for the rest of our lives.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Getting Past our, Subconscious Programs

  1. Take risks to get past, subconscious programs,  Your, unconscious mind,  always wants to play it safe.
  2. Ask questions like, What else is possible that I have not considered?
  3. Say things like, how cool is it that I have all this extra money.

4. What am I going to do with all this extra cash?

5. How can I make this a reality?

6. What if I become a successful as a TV talk show host?  What would that look like? See yourself in this role. This one is for me!!

Conclusion reprogram your unconscious mind

This strategy is called, auto inquisition.  Thomas Edison practiced, auto inquisition. He would sit in a chair and ask his, unconscious mind, questions about an invention.  You can do the same.

    1. Give yourself permission to be successful, believe that you deserve good things to happen
    2. Don’t allow other peoples fears to make you doubt yourself.
    3. Surround yourself with positive reinforcement and allies.
    4. Speak your success as present fact not a future plan.  Instead of saying I am figuring out how to do that now, say I am strategist.  What do I need to make that happen right now.
    5. Start asking for what you want and keep track of all the things that have happened (gratitude journal)
    6. Create a vision space, so you can imagine what it is you want to happen in your life.

Additional Resources Unconscious mind

“Keeping a healthy mind is important to have a balanced life. Mental health training can help you enhance self-awareness providing tips and knowledge about this topic”.

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-program-your-subconscious-for-permanent-change/

https://inlpcenter.org/five-step-process-for-releasing-limiting-beliefs/

 

 

 

 

How Women Entrepreneurs can Succeed Using a Growth Mindset

Kris Jenner growth mindset

Women entrepreneurs, who feels called to have more wealth and need a, growth mindset,  so that she can have more impact and influence and create generational wealth for her family. 

My guest today is Lola Tomorrow. faith-driven Chicago-based entrepreneur, philanthropist, and highly sought-after business mentor for high-performing women of faith who are striving for financial freedom.

Listen to the Full interview Here:

Introduction Business Mentoring

Highlights from her background include  ● National Advance Associate for former First Lady Michelle Obama. ● Successfully managed and curated more than 300 profitable events. ● Organizer and Creator of TEDxWillowCreek, ● Single-handedly raised more than $500,000 for numerous not-for-profit initiatives and star-studded community events. ● Founder and Executive Director of iGlow (Inspiring Girls to Lead Our World) Mentoring which serves 3,000+ girls in the Chicago metro area.

As we face this global economic shift, Lola feels called to equip women to retool their business strategies, reinvent themselves, and inspire them to lead the way in our ever-changing economy. TMRWLive! A Virtual Experience was born out of her desire to empower women to trailblaze their own path to success.

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Myrna – Can you give us a short intro into your journey into becoming a, business mentor. 

Lola – I became an, woman entrepreneur, by accident.  I never desired to work for myself, I was not really exposed to the world of the, entrepreneur. I just had a passion to do more than what I was doing in my nine to five job.  Little did I know that passion to do more would create additional streams of income that would surpass my 9 to 5 income. 

I started taking the role of a, business mentor, and having the ability to influence others seriously.   I’m generally the type of leader who is bold enough to have the conversations most people might be ashamed of.  I’m bold enough to tell you that I was bankrupt.  I’m bold enough to tell you that I was sleeping in the back seat of my car for months.  I am bold enough to give you the level of transparency, not just so you know my business; but so that you can take the wisdom from my mistakes and stand on my shoulder. What I’ve been able to accomplish by 35, you can accomplish double by 40. That’s the power of a, business mentor.  The real power of, mentorship,  has the ability to cut your success time in half.  What took me five years to do, will take you two and a half years to do. 

Creating a business strategy for woman entrepreneurs

Myrna – One of the reasons that people come into the coaching conversation is because they’re hoping that someone will speed up their journey. 

Tell us how you transitioned from not wanting to be an, entrepreneur, and starting the TMRWlive experience. 

Lola – What I am really on a mission to do is I want to begin to teach and show, women entrepreneurs,  that you can have a level of sacrifice, you can have determination; but you can do it while still prioritizing yourself. 

Still prioritizing your well-being for some, entrepreneurs, you need to be working your business while still working your full-time job.  It’s not time for you to jump out completely and just work your business full-time. 

So I think there’s a, business strategy,  as we begin to evolve and grow that we can really embrace, entrepreneurship; but we can embrace it with practical thinking and practical thinking.  

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Mentoring women entrepreneurs to have a growth mindset

One of the first things we work on with the, women entrepreneurs, who come into my, mentorship, program is having a, growth mindset.  A, growth Mindset, says that I will do what is necessary to grow my business. And if that means delegating tasks, then I am willing to do that.  I tell them, your business is not your baby. If I pull a group of moms in a room and I to ask a group of moms if your baby was in the middle of the street and a car coming 60 miles an hour, what are you going to do?  The organic response is I’m going to push my baby out and I’m going to be willing to die for my baby. 

That is the natural response. We have had this thought about our business, we’re willing to give up our marriage for a business. We’re willing to neglect ourselves, neglect our health, neglect our finances etc. We got to put a business in the place that it belongs. Your business is not your baby,  your business is your business you need a, growth mindset, to know the difference. 

Myrna –  I wrote a book that’s called “Minding My Own Business” because I’ve always been of the, mindset, that you can’t become wealthy working

for someone else. 

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What is a Growth Mindset

Let’s understand the, growth mindset. How you teach somebody that feels that their business is their baby to change their, mindset? 

Lola – I’m not a, mindset coach, so the first thing I do is to recognize my level of genius.  I  partner with a, growth mindset, coach. Her name is Sean Strickland and she works with my clients on their, growth mindset. He works with your, mindset, around money, your capacity for growth etc. 

You have to be committed to the journey. Your journey might look different from another person’s journey; but if you stay committed to your journey you will achieve success. 

One of my, growth mindset, tools is prayer. I’m a woman of faith,  it’s ingrained in everything I do and everything that I think.  Partnering with God has been the biggest superpower in my entire career. 

 

How to Pray as a Woman Entrepreneur

Myrna – You mentioned that you are a faith-based leader.  How should we pray as a, woman entrepreneur? You said that you teach women to shift the way they pray.  How should, women entrepreneurs, shift they way they pray for their businesses? 

Lola – A mentor of mine, her name is Dr Tiffany Jordan she is a, prayer strategist. Before meeting her I had never been exposed to this concept of a, prayer strategy. A, prayer strategy, is a way that you pray for different things you want in life. There is a way, woman entrepreneurs, should be praying as it pertains to their business. I had never been exposed to the concept of a, prayer strategy, before.  

I said the same prayers like, Lord bless me and bless my business and I thought that was good enough; but there is a way that you can activate the word of God as it pertains to your business. I had never been exposed a, prayer strategy, before I met Dr Tiffany Jordan. Check out her “book of prayers”. 

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Resources for Women Entrepreneurs

  Myrna – What are some resources, women entrepreneurs, can use to scale their business and have a, growth mindset? 

  • The first one is partnering with God. 
  • The second thing is learning not to get validation from Instagram and other social media sites. I tell people don’t get lost in the social media celebrity world.  
  • Third –  Find the, language for your purpose.  

 

Language for your purpose, means speaking life into your, purpose and destiny. 

I started going through levels of, inner healing.  I didn’t even know I needed, inner healing.  These where things from your childhood like self-sabotage and rejection.  All these things that started coming up as I started to get to the next level in my business. 

I had, limiting beliefs,  about money and she helped me break through that.  I learned a, prayer strategy, to remove my, limiting beliefs, about money and other childhood trauma. 

The prophetic  word for women entrepreneurs

The final resource for, women entrepreneurs is the, prophetic word. Prophet Katara Ho literally changed my life and changed my entire business, because she has exposed me to the world of the, prophetic.  The, prophetic, energy can really propel you to your next level in business. 

Myrna – language for your purpose,  I love that phrase. It’s a way of saying that you should speak it into the atmosphere!  You’ve gotta be be careful

that you’re not saying that, it’s not possible or you can’t do it or it’s too hard etc. 

The, inner healing, part is also big because most, women entrepreneurs,  have some kind of hurt in the past that prevents us from reaching the top of our lids. 

Whether it’s childhood trauma, whether it’s betrayal by men,  whether it’s where we were born on what side of the tracks. 

Specifically as, black women,  we’ve got some things that we’ve got to overcome So, the inner healing,  is so important. 

Business Strategy with Kris Jenner

Tell us about your collaboration with, Kris Jenner, and your two-day event TMRWlive virtual event.  

Lola – I put together this conference for, women entrepreneurs, of faith.  It was life-changing and it was amazing.  The first TMRWlive was a success and 

two weeks after that first conference, I was already thinking and planning for the next one. 

One day I woke up and, Kris Jenner, came to me.  I am not a Kardashian fan.  I don’t  dislike them, I just don’t watch TV.  So it was not natural for me to to think of, Kris Jenner.  I could not shake the thought for weeks,  so talked to one of my spiritual mentors and and she gave me a, prophetic, word. She told me, you’re going to work with her; but not now it’s going to be later. 

It was clear that God wanted this woman to be the main speaker of the next TMRWlive experience. I needed to teach women of faith they could learn, business strategy, from, Kris Jenner.  I knew that, Kris Jenner, had the goods to teach and to get, women entrepreneurs, to the next level as it pertains to,  business strategy. 

Like her or not you can’t deny what she’s done for the Kardashians family.  Most of us can’t create generational wealth to pay for a funeral when

somebody transitions without doing a GoFundMe. 

 

Faith based leadership for women entrepreneurs

Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts is also one of the speakers. 

This conference is not for every woman, this is for the woman that literally feels called to have more wealth and need a, growth mindset,  so that she

can have more impact and influence.  This is not for the, woman entrepreneur, who just wants more money for nice cars and purses. 

This is the time when God is raising up kingdom-minded millionaires and billionaires, so that we can have more impact here on earth. 

This conference is not just something inspires you,  it’s meant to give, women entrepreneurs,  the, business strategy, to do the work. We’re going to pray and worship and love God; but after all of that you’re going to wipe the tears away  and you’re going to get in this workshop. You’re going to create a, business plan,  you get  to create the, social media strategy and you’ve got to get your, business formations, in order. 

 

Conclusion the TMRWlive virtual event

Our event is March 24th and 25th and it is the online virtual conference. More information can be found tmrwlive.com. Kris Jenner,  and, Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts, are headlining the event; but we then have over 20 other amazing speakers that will be teaching on different topics of business and faith. 

Today we talked about, transforming your life,  as a, woman entrepreneur. 

If you were inspired by this podcast, please subscribe, rate and review. 

Thank you 

Additional Resources

 

Can you Guess your StartUP IQ?

Transform your Business Life: Dress for Success

How to Find Your Purpose in Life

You can, find your purpose, in life by paying attention to your passions. Your master, purpose in life, is to spread happiness. You will always see the optimism in life no matter how dark it may seem.

Are you lifted by your purpose? This week on Mindset Transformation Radio and Podcast, I interview Ms Arifah Yusuf who is not only lifted by her, purpose, but founded a company called Lifted By Purpose where she helps youths in Toronto, Canada to become lifted by their purpose.

As Arifah was working with the youth she noticed their tattoos and decided to have a spin off company called Tattoo Stories. She used the tattoos stories to help her clients share their stories through the images they permanently put on their bodies.

How to Find Your Purpose in Life

How we perceive images can help us, find your purpose.

How you react to an image can tell you a lot about you, including your, life’s purpose.
Art speaks to us because it’s about us. It’s about our collective and individual journeys in this wondrous, immeasurable universe.

As Chuck Klosterman said, “Art and love are the same thing: It’s the process of seeing yourself in things that are not you.”  Images stir up numerous emotions in the beholder: awe, shock, sorrow, rage, and even repulsion. You may feel an intense, nameable emotion within seconds of seeing an image, or it could take several minutes of staring at the image before you can decide what it means to you. And as art is as diverse as the people who create and perceive it, the responses to it naturally vary. Art can play a crucial role in self-discovery and an individual’s, purpose in life.

Image test to find your purpose

Click the link below to take your image, purpose, test and see what it shows is your, purpose.

https://themindsjournal.com/this-image-test-will-reveal-your-true-purpose-in-life/

I took this test and my test revealed that my purpose was to spread Happiness. So True.

“Your master, purpose in life, is to spread happiness. You will always see the optimism in life no matter how dark it may seem. You can distinguish the lightness from the darkness and this is what takes you to another level. With happiness, everything can be cured and your purpose is to spread this feeling in times most needed.”

Bio

Arifah Yusuf, is a registered social worker from Ryerson University. She has 12 years experience engaging and developing programs for youth, facilitating workshops and providing counseling services. Ms. Yusuf was nominated and awarded the Community Health Champion Award for her dedication working with youth. In 2015 she received the leadership award from Canadian Alliance of Black Educators and in 2016, the Ontario Leading Women in Community Award.

She is trained and certified by the National Organization for Victims Assistance, Traumatology institute, and is a Mental Health First Aid Instructor. In her role at Lifted By purpose, she is the Founder and Executive Director.

 

How did you find your purpose?

Can you tell us your journey as a social worker and how it transitioned into founding Lifted by Purpose?
I grew up a a rough neighborhood in Toronto. As a youth, I had a family member who died from Homicide and that affected me profoundly; but I did not have an outlet to grieve so I became very depressed. As I got older, I wanted to become a social worker so I can help other youths who experienced trauma to have a space to talk and get help. This is how I found my, purpose.

Today “Lifted by purpose” helps youths, find their purpose, and provides services to help the youth with coping skills and prepare for a purposeful future.

Using tattoo stories to find the meaning of life

You have an offspring from Lifted by purpose called Tattoo stories. Can you tell our audience what that is about and how tattoo helps youths find their, purpose.

During counselling I started asking my clients to tell me their stories about the permanent tattoos on their bodies. I found that these tattoos were connected to their, purpose in life. Most life events are marked with a tattoo.

Services offered to help find your purpose

What are some projects and services provided by Lifted by purpose.
At Lifted by Purpose we focus on the arts.
Some of our services are:

  • Music stress program 10 to 20 weeks
  • Playlist therapy that identifies tracks that speak to grief or loss
  • How to have healthy Relationships
  • How to identify triggers that move them into making bad choices
  • Identify coping skills
  • Tattoo stories and what they mean

I see from the information you provided me for the interview that your target audience is young people between the ages of 16 to 29 years who are at risk or already in the justice system. How does your program help these young people, find your purpose.

Our program helps our youth to harness their story

  • Understand how to utilize their stories to understand themselves.
  • Reflect on how their stories has influenced their choices in life
  • How to flip a negative story into something positive
  • Action steps. Are they ready to make a change
  • How does their story affect their purpose and lift them up.

How does Tattoo stories tie into meaning of life

Tattoo stories Helps the youth understand their, purpose and have a voice that can help others on their journey.

 

Order Here

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/6-ways-to-find-your-purpose/

 

 

Can Reality Transurfing Improve your Life

What is Reality Transurfing

Renee Garcia teaches what is, reality transurfing, and how we can use it to improve our frequency, our thoughts and alternate reality.

Listen to the full interview here:

Renée is a lifelong entrepreneur, a Certified Reality Transurfing instructor, and an Alternatives Space adventurer – endorsed by Vadim Zeland the author and creator of, Reality Transurfing.

Having ventured deeply into the metaphysical world of Reality Creation she has transformed personal failure into success, poverty into abundance, sickness into healing, and a bleak worldview into one brimming with joy and magic. Renée has employed, Reality Transurfing, to discover fulfillment, true purpose in life and connect with the highest version of herself.

With a self-built practical methodology and magical wand in hand, she is now empowering others around the world to do so the same.

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What was your journey into the self development and reality transurfing space?

Renee – I don’t want to say I had  an unfortunate childhood or an unfortunate background because I later used my background to help other people.  I now view all the parts of my life that I was ashamed of or I didn’t like or I felt disadvantaged, as data to help my, transurfing, clients understand reality jumping. 

All of that stuff that happened in my childhood really helped me in gaining success for myself. I had achieved a good deal of success for myself given that I wasn’t college educated. I didn’t even graduate from high school. 

I managed to start my own business and gained success. I had this outward-facing image that a lot of people perceived as successful; but I was very damaged inside.  reality transurfing, helped me to connect with and the void of these things and sort of broke me in what I call my pre-transurfing reality. 

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Reality Transurfing allow you to choose your reality

Reality transurfing, started for me when I was about 35 years old.  I woke up one morning and realized that I was utterly miserable. So I decided to take some pretty bold steps. I disconnected from life as I knew it in the big city.  I gave up my business, moved out to the country and just went inward for about a year searching for answers. 

It was at this time that I found,  reality transurfing. This was about six years ago. I was not from a world of, self-development, or, self-help.  I had gone to conventional therapy for a number of years just to get over some of my childhood trauma and, poverty mentality. 

A lot from my mindset was holding me back; but when I found,  reality transurfing, it was completely new knowledge,  completely new information to me. I immediately saw what I had done to get myself into that place where life broke me. 

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Where Reality Surfing originated

Reality transurfing, is very big in Russia where the knowledge originated about 15 years ago.  I saw massive transformation in my mindset, my worldview, my outlook on life, my success, everything. 

I  decided right then that I was going to help others change their mindset with, reality transurfing. 

It was at this time that I found,  reality transurfing. This was about six years ago. I was not from a world of, self-development, or, self-help.  I had gone to conventional therapy for a number of years just to get over some of my childhood trauma and, poverty mentality. 

A lot from my mindset was holding me back; but when I found,  reality transurfing, it was completely new knowledge,  completely new information to me. I immediately saw what I had done to get myself into that place where life broke me. 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM9BB90P-BgZzrlfSGxNSXA

Reality Transurfing Communities

Renee – That’s all sort of developing now and it’s really fascinating the types of people that come into the, reality transurfing, community.  There are a number of people I certified as, transurfing instructors.   There are psychologists in Mexico using, reality transurfing, as a tool. 

Lots of therapists and lots of psychologists, people that are involved in the more metaphysical side of of self-development are using, reality transurfing. It’s kind of like quantum physics meets therapy so it’s appealing. 

We like to say that it’s, the law of attraction, for smart people.  It’s a much more evolved version of the, law of attraction, with all the blank spots filled in. We obviously know that there’s something to law of attraction; but why does, law of attraction, work? Reality transurfing,  fills in all those why’s of why law of attraction works. 

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What is Reality Transurfing?

Renee – Reality transurfing,  essentially means surfing multiple realities.  What I’m talking about is, quantum jumping. So what does, quantum jumping, mean?   The best way for me to describe it and make it relatable and understandable for everyone is to use myself as an example. 

I told you that I had an unfortunate childhood.  There was trauma there, I didn’t graduate from high school,  I didn’t go to college. That is a version of reality that is available to me. 

But I’m sitting here talking to you on a podcast right where I’m an expert on, reality transurfing,  I’m an expert on a self-development book that was written in Russia and kind of exotic, I’m leading a movement of people and I’m considered a thought leader.  I’m on the cutting edge of a self-development technology and people want me to come on their podcasts and people want me to give seminars and people want to fly me around and have me speak on stage. 

So this is an alternate version of reality that I’ve accessed using the concepts in the, reality transurfing, book.  We use this analogy to explain the, transurfing, modality of turning a dial on a television or a radio, like changing the channel.  

Our power as creators to be able to choose which channel we turn to. 

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Imagine your Future and Your Reality

Myrna – This morning I was listening to Dr Joe Dispenza on a podcast and he was talking about something very similar to this.  He said to imagine the future you want and shift your reality to believe you already have it. 

If something is bugging you right now or you’re angry or maybe you’re looking at past trauma, one way to change the channel  is to think about what you’re dreaming of in the future. 

Renee -Yes we can play victim that channel doesn’t bring happiness,  that channel brings victimhood.  

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Core Concepts of Transurfing

There are 11 core concepts of, transurfing. If you were to adopt just one concept from the, reality transurfing, modality it will help you to see reality in a different way. 

Myrna – Awesome let’s talk about the core concepts or core modalities of, reality transurfing. 

Renee – I’ll describe the first five.  There’s 11 core concepts and if you split them right down the middle, the first five concepts represent a donut hole. This hole signifies you’re not living your best life.  You’re irritated, you don’t like the state of affairs in the world,  you don’t like USA politics etc.  You are depressed, maybe have anxiety and don’t feel your life has meaning. 

The first five concepts of, reality transurfing, are going to help you get up out of that hole. The next five, transurfing, concepts are going to help you build a foundation and a new structure. 

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Transurfing Steps

  • The first step in, transurfing,  is to help you develop your connection with this alternative reality and realize that you can create from it. 
  • The second step is to get off entities that have adhered to you that are draining you energetically or spiritually.  The biggest one right now is politics and the media that has rendered people almost comatose.

That’s where fear lives. Pendulums use fear as their number one hook. 

  • Step three is defeating pendulums or learning how to manage your pendulums.

When you do that and you are successful. You’ve got a good connection with the alternative space, you understand what pendulums create your reality for you and you take back your energy from those pendulums. 

  • The fourth step is what we refer to as the wave of success. 

The wave of success is a phenomenon in the, transurfing, modality where you accumulate positive thoughts, actions, and frequency from your environment to improve your thoughts about yourself. 

Life Tracks and Quantum Jumping

Life tracks are like different channels that you can turn to in the, quantum jumping, space.  The idea is that you use the law of physics with energy and your perception of reality to essentially move you to some of these higher life tracks or higher channels. More of what you want exists in abundance in this alternative reality. 

  • The fifth step is the opposite of the wave of success. Our intention is to climb higher on the life tracks or tune the dial to a higher channel.  We call this induced transition. Induced transition is when you buy into negative information or negative news.  This is when you buy into people’s negative thoughts or views of you or what you’re doing.

This is you tuning to a lower channel,  so the induced transition is sort of the concept that keeps a, transurfer, in check.  You become aware of energy and how it affects your mood health. 

Myrna – Just this morning I was listening to Dr Joe Dispenza’s on a podcast and he was talking about using the wave of energy from your Heart and taking it up to your brain so you are living in a higher frequency. 

Then you will attract the things you want.  Exactly the same thing you’re talking about here. 

How can Transurfing help us create our own reality?

Renee – People have heard about the, quantum field, but nobody understood it. So now we are filling in the blanks. People are not going to irritate you, you are going to get angry. But you can clean your layer of reality. 

If you’ve got negative energy you can’t create, you have to be in that positive frame of mind to create. Joe dispenza was talking about that energy wave going from the heart to the mind.  We call this heart and mind coordination and this is a big part of, reality transurfing. 

It’s the heart saying yes to something and then it’s the mind agreeing.  This is what Vadim Zealand,  reality transurfing, author did to create this book.  

What is quantum jumping exactly

Renee –  Quantum jumping, is  pretty much switching the channels.  We use all sorts of analogies, like a river analogy. Quantum jumping,  you can get caught into different streams and navigate to different places. We say  quantum jumping, or changing the channel. 

There’s a four-step process to, quantum jumping. 

  1.  Acknowledge and this is where your connection with the alternative space will come in. You have to acknowledge that this version of reality does in fact exist.
  2. You have to tune your thoughts.  Just as there are infinite versions of reality,  there are also infinite versions of self.  You must envision what the optimal version of yourself looks like. There’s a version of myself that feels depressed and traumatized by childhood. Maybe I’m addicted to drugs.  But I choose to focus on the optimal version of myself as a thought leader and an expert on, reality transurfing. 
  3. Take action in that direction, so you’re thinking like the optimal version of you. Practice until you are perfect. 
  4. The final step is to make sure that your frequency matches the frequency of that higher version of you.  Remove things that take away or are detrimental to your frequency like alcohol,  drugs, fast food, and media.  Things that can improve your frequency are exercise and meditation. 

Myrna – I love Abraham Hicks teachings on vibration and frequencies.  I didn’t know anything about, transurfing, and, quantum jumping, but I do know about frequency and the law of attraction.  

Conclusion 

Tell our listeners and readers how they can connect with you. 

We have a thriving community. We have knowledge for everyone so if you don’t have even the money to buy the book,  you can watch the YouTube channel transurfing. You can also connect on our Facebook group  It is called the International Transurfing Institute.

www.transsurfing.us is the website if you would like to find out information on any aspect of, reality transurfing.  What it is, how to do it. 

 

We have a course on teachable called reality transurfing 2.0.  It is the only certified course by the author for the english language.  

 

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Additional Resources

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

7 Strategies to Personal Growth

Do you have the, mindset, to scale the personal mountains in your life and get to, personal growth? In this episode of 5 mins with, Coach Myrna, I share 7 tips to acquiring the mindset of an, mount Everest, climber.

The mindset of a, Mount Everest, mountain climber? How to tackle your personal mountains.

Climbing Mount Everest

Not sure why but I picked up the book, “Into Thin Air, my expedition to the top of the world,” maybe it was because one of my goals was to hike the Himalayas, not climb, Mount Everest.  Let’s be clear! but after reading this book I was amazed by what, mindsets, could accomplish.

The, positive mindset, can elevate your life and make you stretch yourself, while its opposite a negative mindset can anchor you wherever you are.

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The Mindset of a Mount Everest Climber

As an, Everest, mountain climber,  you are aware that your odds of dying is high. Even if you don’t die, your chances of frost bite or other dangers increase with every feet closer to the summit! The thin air can make you lose brain cells, lack of oxygen to your brain can give you brain damage. YET! The writer says that The line of, mount Everest, climbers attempting to get to the top, looks like the line at Walt Disney world. I wonder how these, mount Everest, climbers deal with their, personal mountains, or, personal growth.

What, mindset, do you have to develop to pay the $65,000 fee, risk your life, and push yourself beyond your limits to summit,  Mount Everest?

I discovered these 7 characteristics of people who climb their, personal mountains, personal growth,  and become, Mount Everest, mountain climbers:

7 Characteristics  of Personal Growth

1. Strong Mindset – Think of the, mindset, you have to have, to WANT to climb, Mount Everest, the top of the world 29, 035 feet in the sky! Let’s put that into perspective that the height that airplanes fly at! Hopefully your, personal mountains, don’t seem of this magnitude!

2. They want to test their limits– After reading “Into Thin Air” I listened to a Ted talk by Lori Schneider. She was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis, and decided to make a goal of scaling the highest peaks on each continent before her MS progressed and she lost the use of her legs. She accomplished this feat and became the first woman with multiple sclerosis to summit,  Mount Everest. That was her, personal mountain, or, personal growth  and she climbed it and won.

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3. They faced their fears – When you face your fears, especially the ones that tell you, you are not good enough, doing something super human sure proves that you are indeed good enough and wipes out fear forever more! Fear is false evidence appearing real. It is a bully and when you stand up to it, it always runs away. You have to remove fear to climb any of your, personal mountains,

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4. They are both mentally and physically strong – Climbing your, personal mountains, is both a mental and physical challenge. Climbing your, personal mountains, has nothing to do with physical strength. In the book “Into Thin Air” one of the climbers that reached the peak was a 95 lb woman. Mental strength is more powerful than physical strength.

5. Perseverance – Climbing high altitude mountains is a marathon not a sprint. You have to acclimatize yourself to the high altitudes by climbing to incremental altitudes and climbing back down several times. In the same way you can’t scale your, personal mountains, in one jump, you have to approach it like a mountaineer or a marathon runner, take small bites at a time. Start with the small, personal mountains, and work to way the top of the world Mount Everest 29, 035 feet above the earth!

6. A Growth mindset – The climbers who summited Mt Everest saw Challenges as an opportunity to grow and develop. There is an old saying “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” Look at your, personal mountains, as a way to grow.

7. Willingness to be uncomfortable – There is no growth or victory until you get out if your comfort zone. The hardship a climber experiences on a climb is chilling. No pun intended. Climbing your, personal mountains, will definitely get you out of your comfort zone or it is not a mountain!

What can we learn from them? We learn that where there is a will, there is a way. All obstacles can be called, personal mountains, you have to climb them all one step at a time, carrying a heavy load, with frozen limbs, totally exhausted by the effort of just putting one foot in front of the other and when you finally reach the top, you have to still get back down!

If ordinary people can do it, you can climb your, personal mountains, as well. Live your dreams and dream big, really big.

Imagine being diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis and deciding to climb to the top of Mt Everest with no previous experience!

Believe in the unbelievable!
Climb beyond your limits, it is all a matter of Mind over Matter

If you have a friend that needs encouragement, feel free to share this episode and remember to subscribe and post a review.

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Additional Resources
Howe Committed Are You? – 4 Steps For Climbing Your Personal Mountains
https://www.finerminds.com/mind-power/personal-mountains/
How to Face a Challenge With Confidence
https://chopra.com/articles/how-to-face-a-challenge-with-confidence
https://blog.myhelps.us/the-quest-for-purpose-six-holistic-ways-finding-purpose/
https://blog.myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/https://blog.myhelps.us/the-alchemy-of-desire/