Tag Archives: victim mentality

How to Be Successful:10 Secrets to Success

I want to share 10, secrets to success, that are also my, secrets to success. I do believe that, success, leaves Clues.  I have not achieved ultimate, success; I am still working towards it, but I am, successful, because I have succeeded in all the goals, I have set for myself.

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Definition of success

So, what is the, definition of success? Success, is defined the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.

We all think that, success, means the attainment of wealth and furthermore we think wealth is millions in the bank.  But let me share with you a secret, you are wealthier that 95% of the world if you have a savings account, if you have a jar of coins, if you have food to eat and a roof over your head.

You are considered, successful, if you have achieved eminence which means you have a successful career or profession.  How many of you know that you could have a PHD and be recognized with all kind of awards and accolades and still live in poverty. I say all that to say that I am, successful, even though I have not yet achieved great wealth.

My story is probably similar to a lot of people who achieved, success. Most successful people start off with nothing and I am no exception.

How to be successful

I was born in British Guyana, in South America. When I was born Guyana was very a poor country, it still is a Third World country. Both my mom and my grandmother were domestic servants and we didn't have much. My Dad taught me at a very early age the value of education to elevate ourselves out of poverty. He was very smart. When I was born he was in Teachers College and went on to get his PH.D in in London in his early thirties. This is the first step in, how to be successful, education.

I'm submerging myself right now in the book “The Biology of Belief” by Dr. Bruce Lipton and I'm understanding from Dr. Lipton, that genes give us 50% of our character and the other 50% comes from the environment we grew up in. Looking back, I can say that as a child, because I was the first born, I was cocooned in love so, the environment that I grew up in, kind of nullified the poverty thing.

Self Improvement Book: Out of the Snares
Out of the Snares of poverty, and abuse

10 Secrets to Success

So let me share with you the 10, secrets of my success, as recorded in my book Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement.

Secret # 1- Don't be a victim. Many women in the black community have been molested as children and I was one of them. We could use that story to become a, victim, of our circumstances and that stifles, success, because, victims, have no power. A, victim mentality, says that somebody did something to you and that person has the power over you. Instead, you need to become as a Player. When you are a player, I use the analogy of a blackjack game, regardless of what the dealer is showing, regardless of where you are and your circumstances right now, regardless of what you see physically in front of you, you can still play to win.

Transform Your Mind Podvine
Transform Your Mind Podvine

Rewrite Your Story

Secret # 2 – Don’t be defined by where you start out, rewrite your story. In the movie Maid in Manhattan with Jennifer Lopez.  Jennifer Lopez was a maid and she lied about who she was so she could date a Senator, when she was found out and fired from the hotel, her manager told her just because we serve others, we are not their servants.  They are no better than us because they have money. You are not inferior because you were born on the wrong side of the tracks or in a poor country. Your intelligence can take you from there and transplant you in the land of the riches.  Another story I want to share with you is about Sydney Pottier. I was just watching his documentary on Netflix and he shared that he never saw lights, running water, a school nothing.  He was born in a poor part of the Bahamas and when he first went to Nassau and saw the other side of how people lived, he was amazed.

Then he moved to Miami and started delivering food and encountered racism where because he was black, he was considered not worthy of anything. So he moved to Harlem where he saw for the first time, successful blacks.  He decided to try his luck at acting, but he couldn’t read.  He taught himself to read by reading the newspaper and got rid of his accent by mimicking a radio personality and he went on to become the first African American to win an academy award and star in the most iconic films.  So regardless of where you start out in life you can always, rewrite your story.

Podbay FM Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podbay FM

Secrets to Success: An abundant mindset

Secret #3 – Develop an abundant mindset – When I was a child, my parents were poor but I had a very wealthy Godfather.  I spent a lot of time at his house and he treated me like one of his grandchildren. Because of my association with my godfather, I never wanted for anything.  When I became an adult, this, abundant mindset, helped me always look at a glass half full instead of half empty.

I immigrated to Toronto, Canada at 17 years old. I immediately got a good job at a bank with no experience. After a couple of years, I decided to go to college. Canada is a country with lots of benefits. I was able to go back to school for free, unemployment insurance from my job paid for my schooling. I graduated with a degree in computer science and I decided to go to sell computers because I understood that that's where the most money was.

When you have an, abundant mindset, you look at the world as having everything you need and you don’t see lack. Because of this you attract into your experience abundance.

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

Secrets to success: Unleash the power within

Secrets to success, #4 – Unleash the power within. As I mentioned, after graduating from College, I took a job selling computers. A couple years into selling computers, my company received an invitation to attend a free seminar with Tony Robbins called, Unleash the power within. How many of you know that everything you need to be successful in life is pre-loaded into you at birth.

Joel Osteen says, we are all like a luxury car, we come pre-loaded with all kinds of luxury features and all we have to do is read the manual to figure out how to work them. Unleash the Power within, opened up to me my pre-loaded characteristics, I went into that seminar as a salesperson, I came out of that seminar an entrepreneur. Two months later, I started my own limousine service and went on to become the largest female operator in Toronto, Canada and winning the Entrepreneur of the year award.

Secret to Success, #5 – Persistence, never give up. If you have a goal or dream, never give up on it. My favorite mantra is “If you build it, they will come.” I have had several goals and dreams that I stuck with and, never gave up.  My book “Out of the Snares” reads like a suspense novel as I give details about achieving my dream of becoming an American Citizen.  I, never gave up; it took me 3 tries and 10 years but, in the end, I received this benefit.

I also kept looking for love, I have been married quite a few times until I found the man of my dreams.

I started my radio show and podcast 7 years ago and kept building and building.  I knew I had to put in the time and finally, I have achieved, success. So, make persistence your top characteristic and never ever give up on your dreams.

Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast
Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

Secrets to Success: Guidance from your higher self

Secrets to success, #6 – be open to guidance from the Divine or your, Higher self. You have to live consciously to be in communication with your spirit guide. I know now that the things that we see and the things that we pay attention to, is the universe speaking to us and directing us to our purpose.

The way to open yourself up to guidance from your, higher self, is to meditate and quiet your mind.  I am most open to inspiration when I wake up in the morning and I act on all my inspiration messages so as to keep them coming.

Secret to success, #7 – Action. I am not one of those people who think about things for years and do nothing.  I get inspiration and I move. Case in point.  One day I was flipping through a newspaper and I saw the word Life coach under the name of one of my church members.  I had never heard or seen that word before.

I was reading this book at the time and the author was saying that if you would like to find out how someone is achieving success buy them lunch or dinner and pick their brains. So, I invited my church sister to lunch and asked her everything I needed to know about becoming a Life coach. I didn’t waste any time, I took,action. I was enrolled in University of Miami coaching program the next month! Like I said, I move, I take, action.

About a year after becoming a, Life Coach, I received an invitation to be a guest on a radio show and talk about my, secrets to success, The show was aired on WDJY 99.1 Metro Atlanta. Hype Media Global owned the station and they loved my personality and my content and offered me my own show! The rest is history. The radio show turned into a podcast and a television show on Preach The Word Worldwide Television Network ,  Action, is the first step to the rest of your life.

Transform Your Mind Podcastland
Transform Your Mind Podcastland

Secret to Success: learn as you go

Secrets to success, # 8 – Jump in and, learn as you go. As I mentioned, when Hype media offered me my own show, I didn’t hesitate by saying I don’t know what to do. I had to learn to interview, I had to learn to produce my own show and then learn how to convert it to a podcast. I learned as I went on, then I had to learn how to write a blog, then I had to learn how to edit my website, how to do SEO, Etc. I am still learning every day.

Secrets to success, #9 – practice meditation. There are so many benefits to, meditation. For me, meditation, allows me to control my energy and vibration. When you relax your body and quite your mind from thoughts of the past or future you are able to concentrate on the, present moment. The, present moment, is the only thing that matters, it is really a present.

The benefit for me is that I know that when I have positive vibration, I attract the good things.  If you want to be, successful, you need to engage the, laws of attraction, to bring you what you dream about. The only way to do this is to control your energy.  Meditation, relaxes mind body so that your spirit which is your, subconscious mind, can get to work. This is how you become the co-creator of your life. So, meditate and concentrate on what you want because where attention goes, energy flows!

Transform Your Mind Podnews
Transform Your Mind Podnews

Secret to success: Transform Your Mind

Secrets to success, #10 –  Transform your mind, I encourage everybody that's listening to this podcast or reading this blog, to look at what beliefs and behaviors are not serving you and replace them. It is not easy because most of us live unconsciously, but awareness is key.

Look for the opportunity in any setback. I'm an optimist. I am not sure when this started, but I'm an optimist. Optimism is one of the foundations to, secrets to success, anytime something happens to me or I receive any kind of push-back, I look for the opportunity in it. What I'm talking about is, transform your mind, to obstacles or setbacks; when one door closes another door opens.  Don’t spend too much time looking in the rear-view mirror, you are not going that way.

I was working for Office Depot when Office Depot and OfficeMax merged and they fired me and gave me a great severance package. I had worked for Office Depot for ten years. With that severance package, I started my own business and went into it full time. I never looked back. I had coworkers who wallowed in self-pity. What am I going to do? How am I going to find a job at 50 years old? Cry, cry.

I heard Oprah say it a different way.

The sun is always there even when the clouds are covering it. The sun is still shining underneath, you just can't see it. Always look for the silver lining, if you look for it, you will find it.

Live your life with intention. Intention is energy, it’s thought. Before you do anything, it first has to be a thought in your brain. Before you can hold anything in your hand you first have to hold it in your head.

These are my, secrets to my success; I hope you can make them yours.

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into, Transformation Fridays, with coach Myrna.  I hope you were inspired today and look at, success, differently. I hope to see you back here next week for another episode of, Transformation Fridays.  Until then Namaste

 

Additional Resources 

How to Unleash The Power Within

How To Turn Your Pain Into Power

Abigail Damoah was wrongly convicted and sent to prison for 12 years. During this dark time in her life, she used inspiration for the bible story of David to find her, life purpose, of helping the women in, prison. She turned her, pain into power, and achieved tremendous personal growth by not seeing herself as a, victim.

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Bio

After serving five years in a Florida state prison for a crime that she didn’t commit, and then two years later being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and undergoing major surgery to remove most of her colon, Abigail learnt one very important life lesson; you will find treasure in the darkest places if you simply change your perspective by turning her, pain into power.

During her, incarceration, Abigail became a Christian and learnt that life isn’t just about her. She was surrounded by women who had endured the most horrific traumatic childhoods and were now being victimized by the very system that was supposed to help them. She found the strength to end her pity party, opening her eyes to the immense suffering of others.

She began to use her gifts to make an impact on the lives of the women she was housed with. It was during the worst season of her life that she experienced true peace, contentment, and fulfilment because she found her life’s purpose, and learned how to turn her, pain into power.  Abigail is the author of ” She is Risen from Destitute to Destiny”

book: She is Risen Turning Pain into Power
book: She is Risen Turning Pain into Power

Using Adversity to turn pain into power

Myrna: All right, so here we have a whole bunch of, adversity. Being sentenced to 12 years in, prison, even if it's for a crime you do commit, it is very traumatic. It is worst when it is a crime that you didn't commit.

Can you share your story, why you were sentenced to 12 years in, prison? I know you said you only served five of those 12 years.  Tell us how you survived that and turned that, pain into power?

Abigail: Okay, so I had my dream to live in America.  I'm from the United Kingdom and after I finished my undergraduate degree. I relocated to Atlanta, Georgia to study and pursue an MBA. I got an internship in Florida. I flew down to Florida and I met a man.  One night he called wanting to go out to a nightclub, and I agreed. He came and picked me up and we made our way to the nightclub and ended up having a car accident where he was killed, and I was seriously injured.

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

My injuries were so extensive that I spent over six weeks in the hospital. My parents at the time decided the best course of action was to take me back to the UK, because there's no way I was going to be able to look after myself in the USA.  I recuperated and got back on my feet. And then in 2011, the state of Florida issued an extradition warrant for my arrest. I was charged with vehicular homicide. The legal definition for that is reckless driving.

So, I was accused of driving in such a dangerous manner that caused death or great bodily harm to another. While I was waiting for the extradition, I began to study the laws surrounding my case and discovered that I should never have been charged with a crime in the first place. The state of Florida had sent over the deposition, the discovery and detail they had a very detailed chronology, of exactly what happened. And one of the things that should have exonerated me from the beginning, was the fact that the road was under reconstruction at the time, so they had taken down all the speed signs.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Extradition to the USA

There were no warning signs that the road was about to change and if you're not familiar with that road, you would not know that you need to slow down. So, when an accident happened, all of a sudden, a curve came up and I hit the curb and the car ended up flipping over and going into a tree. So, based on that alone, I should never have been charged with a crime. But if you know anything about the laws in the United States, you know, sometimes it can be a bit one sided.

I was extradited to America to stand trial. I had a judge who had no legal integrity, because of the way my case had been portrayed in the media. She was determined to make an example out of me. I was found guilty sentenced to 12 years Florida State Prison. After serving 5 years, the case was dismissed.

Myrna: Wow. So sorry to hear what you have been through. I'm assuming you were driving.

Abigail:  Yes, I was driving, it wasn't my car.

Myrna: Yeah, that's what I thought because he came to pick you up.

Abigail: The reason I was driving was because he got so drunk, that he was unable to continue the journey.  I was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

The Pain of prison

Myrna: So sorry for your pain. But the fact that the case was dismissed, I'm assuming that you've cleared your name.

Abigail: Yes, yes. My name is completely cleared. The sentence was vacated, and I was released from, prison.

Myrna: Did you get any money for it?

Abigail: No, absolutely nothing. The state of Florida had laws to protect themselves against wrongful convictions. So, I was knocked out of financial assistance there. But, it was a driving force behind what I do now because I had to start my life from scratch.  I had to use the gifts that I had been given to build a life for myself, and turn my, pain into power.  I didn't have anything. I came back to nothing, but God worked it out for my good.

Going through the tunnel of adversity

Myrna: Well, they say that a lot of times, we must go through the tunnel, we must be beaten down all the way to the bottom, before we find our, purpose.  We all go screaming into it because we really don't want to go through pain, we don’t want to hit rock bottom. I'm in this space where I interview a lot of people and I remember talking to this woman.  Her husband died and she started her coaching practice helping other women handle, grief. She turned her, pain into power, but we all prefer not to go through the pain even if it is the fire starter to our, life purpose.

So how did you manage after also being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and having most of your colon removed?

Abigail: I wasn't raised in a Christian household, but I had a lot of Christian friends. If there's one thing that I learned from them, even while I wasn't a believer, was that they had this ability to see past their circumstances. So, before I even arrived in America, they were already speaking life into my situation. They were already telling me that this was going to work out for my good, something good is gonna come out of this.

And it wasn't until, I became a Christian and I began to read the Bible and I began to apply those principles, that I was strengthened in that area. God gave me a perspective that enabled me to see things through his eyes, he gave me the ability to step outside of myself. I was surrounded by people who are who were suffering, who have been through women the worst heinous things.  My whole perception changed.

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Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
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Helping people in prison turn their pain into power

Not only are people dying from much worse situations than I had, but I had to reframe my situation to say, okay, I'm in, prison, now, what can I do while I'm here to make an impact on the lives of the women that I am housed with? How do I turn my, pain into power?

I had a writing gift and there are women that couldn't read or write. I remember the very first time I tapped into that.  There was a woman that I was, bunking in, prison, she had a terrible situation, her children have been taken into DCF custody because of her arrest.

So, I wrote a letter for her. explaining the situation to DCF, speaking in legal terminology. She wanted her children to be put into the custody of her sister while she was in, prison, and lo and behold, that's exactly what happened. Two weeks later, she came to me, I mean, she was in floods of tears. She was so grateful that I took the time to do this for her, and it was at that moment that I realized that what my, purpose, is connected to my gift of writing. Writing was how I was going to turn my, pain into power.

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Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Figuring out my life purpose

I also realized that my, purpose, had nothing to do with me, it was to enrich the lives of the people that I am surrounded by. So, from that moment, my prayers changed from Lord get me out of here, I can't take this anymore to Lord who are the people in, prison, that you want me to impact?  That started a tsunami of work. My inmates just started coming to get the help they needed.  I started helping them write letters, probation letters, letters to their family, etc. It was one of the most, fulfilling aspects of my time in, prison.

Myrna: Now, how did you take own ownership of your situation? What was your internal dialogue?

Abigail: I dropped the, victim mentality. You know, it's so easy when you're going through a situation whatever it is, it's so easy to point the finger and say is your fault that I'm here, but when you play the, victim, you are not helping anybody. You're not helping yourself and you're not helping anyone else. When I was in the, victim, state I felt so sorry for myself. You know, such an injustice had taken place.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Victims have no power

I was depressed, I was in a place of desolation, I couldn't sleep at night, I had no peace. But the moment I relinquished that, victim mentality, I came to the revelation that it wasn't the state of Florida that put me in, prison, to punish me. I was placed there strategically to be empowered, and then to empower. I was placed there to turn my, pain into power.

So once my, mindset, changed, I was able to say I am going to use this situation to become the best person that I be and to help as many people as I can while I'm in here. That is exactly how I took ownership of my situation. I took the power out the hands in the state of Florida, and turned, my pain into power, because, victims, have no power.

Myrna: This is so true. Victims have no power. In my book, Out of the Snares, A story of Hope and Encouragement, I have a full chapter on, victims.  My story was that I was abused as a child, but I never became a, victim. In fact, what I suggest we become a, player. You know, when you are playing a game of blackjack and the cards that you're dealt with are bad cards?  People use those same bad cards to win, in the same way when you become a, player instead of becoming a, victim, you play with the cards you are dealt.  And that's exactly what you did, you became a, player in the game, you decided that these are the cards that I've been handed, and I am going to make the best of the situation. I am going to turn this, pain into power.

How to become a player and turn pain into power

Myrna: You could have played the “what if game”. What if I didn't go out? What if I didn't agree to drive?  But instead you said it happened. There's no way you can go backwards, all you can do is make the best of the situation that you have right now and use it to help people and learn from it and turn your, pain into power.

What is the lesson that that that you took out of that? Were you able to equate it to a, Bible story? I want to talk about Joseph who was thrown in, prison, and it was strategic to God’s plan for him.  And I am also thinking of a Job which is the chapter reading now in the Bible and all the bad things that happened to him.

Job declared God does only do good things for you. God does good things, and he does bad things.

Abigail: Joseph was one of my favorite stories in the Bible. And it wasn't until I got to that Genesis chapter 37, where Joseph was put in, prison, that I found strength in my situation. Prison, shaped Joseph into the man that God needed him to be. I knew that my time in, prison, was in God's hands, just based on that story alone. I learned a lot from Joseph and his, mindset, during that time. He refused to be a, victim, he used his time to assist other people. He was looking for others to help while he was, incarcerated, and it opened the door to his freedom.

Myrna: Yes, exactly helping people got him introduced to the king.

Transform your mind PTWWN TV
PTWWN TV – How to Trun Your pain into power 

Using dreams and visions for your purpose

Abigail: That was a very powerful story for me, and I used that, bible story, to empower myself.  So my God has given me dreams and visions, and I knew that, okay, I'm not living the dream and the vision now, but it is this situation here that is going to lead me to the destiny that God has for me and I had to remind myself of that daily.

Myrna: That's amazing, I am loving our conversation.  One of my personal mantras is that just like an airplane needs resistance to take off the ground, we need resistance to move up our next level. And whenever I have resistance in my life, when I was working full time when I received resistance eg. one door closed or something, I always knew that resistance was supposed to push me forward and up. The door closing from being fired got me into, Life coaching, helping women to, transform their mind.

A lot of women, especially minority women live in the, wilderness, and in order for them to get out of the, wilderness, they have to change their, mindset.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

She is Risen from Destitute to Destiny

Tell us about your book, your book is called “She Is Risen from Destitute To Destiny.” Why did you write it? And what do you want people to walk away with?

Abigail: I wrote the book because I knew that I had a story to tell number one, and it wasn't a story of the tragedies, but stories of, empowerment. The book a memoir, going back to my childhood, I packed a lot of things and I think that's very important that you need to go back to, to know why things are the way they were. So, I went through that process in the book, I had a very turbulent teenage years, connected to childhood. But despite those challenges, I still managed to make something all my life, and it didn't come easily, or immediately at all.

It was a very, very difficult situation and a very, very difficult process. And I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, but what I do know is that you can, turn your pain into power, if you change your perspective on a situation.  I could have not written this book. I could have so easily come out of, prison, and just felt sorry for myself, and accept government assistance and nobody would have blamed me

Teaching others how to overcome adversity

So, I had to look at the situation and ask myself what have I learned from this? And not only what have I learnt from it, but now what can I do about it? I decided I can teach other people about how to overcome, adversity.  One of the things that helped me while I was, incarcerated, were the different, prison ministries. People would share these terrible stories, but they got through it, and that’s something that inspired me.

Myrna: Well, that's the reason I asked you if you're going into the, prison, and doing, prison ministry, because I know your story is powerful. Now you are on the radio, podcast and PTWWN TV, sharing your story, not only the people that are in, prison, is going to hear this, but people all over the world. Your story doesn’t just speak to someone in, prison, but speaks to any women in the, wilderness, the, wilderness, can be any dry place.

Additional Resources

Does Serving a Prison Sentence Affect Change?

 

 

How to Play to Win with the Cards you are Dealt in Life

We should, play to win. I wrote the book “Out of the Snares, a story of Hope and Encouragement” with the intention of drawing, life lessons, from various aspects of my Life and how I, played to win.  For example the first life event that I introduced in my book is as a victim of childhood, sexual abuse, and being born into, poverty.

The, life lesson, I share here is that of the, victim mentality.

You don't have to be a, victim, in life; instead become a player.

 

Just like in the game of blackjack, if the dealer is showing a picture card and you only have small cards, you don't chuck your hand in and say there's no way that I can win.
You must, play to win. All you need is the intention to win and guess what, your hand is going to get better.

Quitters Never Win and Winners Never Quit

 

Here is a short excerpt from my book:

Out of the Snares a story of hope and encouragement

Intro How to Play to Win – My story

I was born into a family with nothing, my mother and grandmother were both domestic servants. My dad was in Teachers College and did not know his real father. He lived with his mom and stepfather who was an alcoholic. In 1959 Guyana was a British colony of England.
Just like England colonized India and took all the wealth out of India, in a similar way England took all of Guyana’s resources out of the country.
Most of the Blacks and Indians were living in, poverty. My mom and grandmother worked for white English folk.

As a child I was always fed and had clothes and shoes to wear. My mom and grandmother both made our clothes.
So, it was understandable that I would be drawn to my godfather, who was a wealthy man with several houses, several cars and a corner shop filled with snacks and chocolate bars. Mr. Clark as I will call him took a liking to me beyond that of a Godfather and treated me like his grandchild.

I spent a lot of time at his house. He took me out with his family every weekend and really showered me with things.
He gave me food, gold chains and gold bracelets, he was also a goldsmith. I ended up sleeping over at his house several times per week and playing with his grandchildren. He used to like to bounce me on his knee with his legs massaging my private parts.

One day my memory recalls, I was about five years old, he braced me up against the wall and caressed my body. As I got older the, sexual abuse, became more intimate.
He would rub my legs whenever I was close. His favorite was the feeling me up in the front seat of his car while driving me to school.

His hand would be under my skirt fingering my private parts. I was sure that people in other cars could see this, sexual abuse, but he said they could not.
This, childhood sexual abuse,  continued for several years until one day he took me behind his shop and took my virginity with his fingers.

I didn't tell anyone I'm not sure why. I do remember thinking that I loved him so much and wanted to die before he did.

Mr. Clark started getting a reputation for liking little girls and my dad asked me one day if Mr. Clark ever, sexual abused, me, I lied and said he had not.

I'm going to skip a couple of paragraphs, I don't want to get into the nitty-gritty details here.
I'm going to read to you now my conclusion of this chapter.

Play to Win by collapsing your consciousness

How did I, play to win? Looking back, if I were to collapse my consciousness and become the observer in this experience, I would say that at some subconscious level I knew what we were doing was wrong. I knew that I was being, sexually abused.
I'm not sure why I chose to keep it a secret.

Research shows that children of, childhood sexual abuse, never tell, they become ashamed and feel that they are to blame. I know I have always felt shamed. It took me a very, very, long time to share my story. Writing this book was my way of coming into the light and putting the devil on notice that I will no longer let guilt and shame be a part of my life.

That was my introduction to my book.
Pick up a copy to read the full story.

Playing to Win Using CANI

I have, played to win,  the, sexual abuse, card and, poverty, by concentrating on, CANI. Constant and Never Ending Improvement.
They say that the secret to happiness is always moving towards a goal and that is how I, play to win.

It is wonderful that we're meeting today in a library because I have always been a reader.
Reading books is how you, play to win!

Tony Robbins is now a billionaire because he made himself read 700 books per year and those books taught him everything he knows.
Pat Riley of the Miami Heat said

“If you're not growing, you are dying”

Play to win using vibrational frequency

The second way I have, played to win, with the cards I have been dealt was to become conscious of my vibrational frequency.
I learned that later in life before I wrote my first book
“Becoming Conscious, my awakening”

I started understanding my vibrations. You see whenever somebody does something to us, we feel bad and what happens when we feel bad?
We attract more of the same. We always say bad things comes in three’s, that is because you are attracting them to you.
So when you're in a funk you have to find some way to make yourself feel better, and one of the ways I do that is to always live in gratitude.
Because regardless of what's going on in your life, there's always something that you can be grateful for. Breath, sight, food in your fridge, etc.
So, find some gratitude and feel that energy release a positive force that reverses all the bad in your life!

Survivors of, sexual abuse, don't owe anyone our stories. Here's why I'm telling mine, MeToo
Click this link to hear a similar story
https://www.latimes.com/opinion/opinion-la/la-oe-warnke-metoo-sexual-violence-20171016-story.html

Genese Vertus Playing to Win 

In 2009 at the age of 33 Genese became CEO and founder of Passion Rescue Mission and reopened the Genecoit Vertus School of Excellence in Francois, Haiti providing tuition free education and serving over 225 students.

Genese How Have you played with the cards you were dealt in Life?
Winning has to less with the cards you have in your hand and more to do with how you play the game.

You have to, play to win.

How did I, play to win? I was born in one of the poorest countries in the Western Hemisphere, which is Haiti.

The goal is to win no matter what seven piece of dominoes or cards you have in your hand.

Kenny Rogers sings a song that says

“You have to know when to Hold and when to Fold”

Three simple things helped me play with my cards.
1. My faith in God
2. Pursuit of an education
3. A strong support system

I was fortunate enough to come to this great country to get an education and in 2009 I returned back to Haiti and reopened a school that my father built. We started with 189
students at that time currently we have 225 students getting a tuition-free education in one of the poorest, mountainous, villages in Haiti, which is Francois Haiti. We provide meals, we provide school supplies we provide uniforms and we have 12 teachers that are employed.

I have a waiting list of over 300 students wanting to get into that school right now; so it's not enough To, play to win, we must give back. Once you get to where you need to be, you need to
reach back and help your people.
If you need information on making a donation
Please visit www.passionrescuemission.org </a

Jenny Wang Playing to Win 

Jenny is passionate about helping people improve Performance through holistic learning. She is a Professional Certified Coach and a Senior Learning and Program Manager at Nutranext, which is the healthiest employer in the US. Jenny is also a Certified Health Coach and co-author of Bringing Mindfulness to Your Workplace. Jenny and I worked together at Office Depot. She was my mentor at Toastmasters, then she became my Coachee as she worked on finding her purpose. I'm Sure she has found her purpose.

Jenny – I have had some good cards. But there are some cards we cannot choose. We cannot chose our Father we cannot choose our Mother or our relatives.
I was born and raised in China in a very traditional family. I don't have trauma in my life, my parents are very lovely and educated; but there's one thing that we never agreed on. When I got married I never thought I wanted children.

I don't know how many of you are natural parents; but I was not one of them. When I was at 34 years old my father called me from China had a big argument with me. He wanted to have a grandchild. So, How did I, play to win? I chose to honor my father’s request because family is important to me.

Now eight years later, people ask me what was the best decision I’ve ever made in my life? And I say “To have a child” My son has brought me so much joy, so much wonderful
things to my life that I have never ever thought that I would have.

The second card everyone has, but they also cannot chose is
Passion and purpose.

The 3rd card we are dealt is  Health. The most important thing for everybody is good health. I decided to take the journey of being a, Yoga Instructor, and a Health Coach.

I learned we can become happy by changing how we move our bodies. Yoga, encourages us to think about our health.
No matter how busy you are, no matter how much outside achievement you have, by the end of the day you have to take time for yourself.

I hope you enjoyed this presentation both audio and written. Now I need something from you.
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Additional Resources

 

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-win-at-the-game-of-life/