How to Succeed in Commercial Real Estate

Martin Sawa Commercial Real Estate

I thought about all the things I could sell and, commercial real estate, looked like the biggest assets and I figured they must have the biggest commissions.

Martin Sawa’s story is about the American Dream. He went from selling hair brushes door to door, to becoming a success in the world of, commercial real estate, in the top market of San Francisco.

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Bio

MARTIN SAWA is a first generation Ukrainian American, former San Francisco real estate power broker, and author. His remarkable rise to, self-made wealth, from the humblest beginnings.  A devastating loss forced him to reevaluate the meaning of success, and how the impact of love, family, religion, and race shaped the metaphorical zoetrope of Martin’s own, American Dream.

A son of poverty-stricken Ukrainian immigrants who as a teenager sold hairbrushes door to door, Martin later quit a stable 9-to-5 job to try his hand at the high stakes world of San Francisco, commercial real estate, in the early ‘80s. As the demands of the job required more and more of him, Martin found himself in the grip of, alcoholism. It would take a tragedy to pull him out of it.

  Martin’s new book THE OTHER SIDE OF SUCCESSMoney and Meaning in the Golden State is an account of the new American experience, told from the perspective of a first-generation immigrant who made the, American Dream, a reality. The book tells stories of the glamorous and cutthroat world of, commercial real estate, in the second most expensive market in the country. Readers will be inspired by Martin’s tenacity and drive as well as his resilience in the face of personal trauma and tragedy.

book The other side of success
Book The Other Side of Success

Getting started in Commercial Real Estate

Myrna: I love your story. Can you bridge for us as we start off. I know you sold hairbrushes from door to door. What was your entry into, commercial real estate, like? How did that happen?

Martin: Well, at the time I was almost 30 years old, (I had grown up in the Midwest but moved to California) I was living in Oakland which is across the bay from, San Francisco. I had a dead end job – I was driving 40 miles one way down to San Jose and I was a city planner.

One day, I was standing at the counter processing permits and a developer came in. He was angry and waving his plans. As I looked at him, he was like a silver fox with a big gold medallion. I wondered why I was doing what I was doing because not only did I not like the job, I was dead broke and my then wife was pregnant with our daughter. So I just quit and walked away. I didn’t know right away what I was going to do, but then I remembered when I was a teenager my first sales job.

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When I just finished high school, I sold the hair brush products, door-to-door sales, in the west side of Chicago. I was good at it and it taught me, sales skills. I had a great mentor too who taught me the, fundamentals of sales, and I knew I could sell. The, fundamentals of sales, don’t change whether you’re selling hair brushes or high-rise office buildings as a, commercial real estate agent. It’s just a difference of degree.

Specializing in Commercial Real Estate

I thought about all the things I could sell and, commercial real estate, looked like the biggest assets and I figured they must have the biggest commissions.

Myrna: Yes, why not go for it?

Martin: I go for it and I started out. There are many specialties or work opportunities and, commercial real estate,

  • You can do brokerage,
  • leasing office space,
  • property management
  • I chose to be in investment property sales which was the riskiest because these deals took months to put together.

If they came together at all!  You weren’t guaranteed a paycheck and usually had to wait a long time to see the money. It took me a year before I actually got my first commission check. So, that taught me how to make ends meet without having any money coming in.

Door to door sales is usually the first entry into sales

Myrna: Wow, there are tons of things I want to circle back to, – one my entry into sales was similar. I sold encyclopedias from, door-to-door sales, and found that I was good at it.  Not because I had any, sales skills, they didn’t really teach us any, sales skills, but I learned that I had the, personality, that people would buy from me.

I went into sales later on in my career as well. As I mentioned, I’m a, Realtor, but, door-to-door sales, kind of started my, sales career.  I’ve always sold that way with my, personality, not necessarily knowing that there’s a stage one, two and three, sales skills, and following it kind of format.

The second thing is about, real estate, whether it’s, commercial real estate, or,  residential real estate, is that you are working and you don’t get paid until there’s a closing. So, obviously, the bigger the deal, the longer it’s going to take to put together, the longer you have to wait for a pay check.

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Pandemic affected Real Estate

I started trying to get into, commercial real estate,  just before the pandemic hit. Everybody wanted, multifamily real estate, because they said it was recession proof. Real Estate Investors,  and there were people calling me all the way from California and all around the world even as I’m in Florida. They wanted these, multi-family deals. What happened is that the sellers wanted more money that the buyers were willing to pay.

So, I was never able to get it married, get a marriage and get this big ass commission because I offered one of the buildings for $10 million, so it should have been a really nice commission but then the pandemic happened.

Now it looks like multi-families wasn’t recession-proof because now, nobody really wants to touch him because of the eviction ban. The tenants are not paying their rent and you can’t evict the tenants.

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Commercial Real Estate Glamourous and cutthroat

Myrna: Why did you say that, commercial real estate, is glamorous and cutthroat?

Martin: It’s the people would use you up and just throw you out, that kind of thing – like they do in the residential. Well, first of all, you have to understand my perspective or baseline. My parents grew up in Ukraine in the years before and during the Second World War, they lived under both Hitler and Stalin so it doesn’t get any worse than that.

I will say one thing and if you’ve been in the business and you understand that you can work like crazy a year on a deal and it falls apart and on another deal you can work 10 minutes, five minutes and make a huge commission and you have the mindset that that’s the way it works. If I could predict which deals I was going to close, I could have worked one month out of the year!

Myrna: You mentioned that San Francisco is the second largest, real estate, market in the USA. So, I’m assuming the top is New York?

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Podbean

Martin:  It always used to be Manhattan but then with the expansion of Silicon Valley, and in San Francisco, (historically was a financial services city) there are insurance companies, banks etc., but with the technology explosion, it moved up into San Francisco so now half the tenants are tech. The whole nature of the business changed in terms of who were your customers and clients, and with tech you got all these. All of a sudden, billionaires living 30-40 miles down the Peninsula, in the Los Altos, Hills of Palo Alto etc., and the prices not just in San Francisco but throughout the Bay Area just exploded.

Commercial Real Estate in San Francisco

So, San Francisco, caught up to Manhattan sometime in the last five years and just in terms of absolute property value per square foot, not only for commercial but for residential as well.

Myrna: You said that when you were doing, door-to-door sales, you had a mentor that taught you the skill sets to sell and you said it was transferable. Can you give us a bit of the skills that you learned doing, door-to-door sales, and how you’re able to transfer those skills into being successful a, commercial Real Estate agent?

Door-to-Door sales convert to Commercial real estate skills

Martin: If you sold encyclopedias, you understand it’s the most kind of basic Fundamental mono a mono that you can have. It’s you and another person, and that person in my case was typically a housewife in her personal home environment. So, it’s you the housewife. The key is – if they open the door at all you have a minute or two to develop trust to get in two minutes and you either do or you don’t.

If you’re broke and extended on credit cards and have a baby girl and two step kids, you’re going to do whatever it takes to get in that door, and that cannot be taught. The sales supervisor can kind of tell you how to do it, but you’ve got to be hungry. That’s pure desire, you take the rejection and keep going.  If you get rejected at ten houses, you’re going to go to the 11th. So, once you get in, there are techniques for converting the trust into an order and making a commission. I was again fortunate because the mentor I had was very good at teaching me these, sales skills.

Alcoholism and commercial real estate

Myrna: Before we get into your book, what happened that made you become an, alcoholic, and how did tragedy and self-resilience pull you out of that?

Martin: Well, there’s just a little back story in the little town I grew up in. I had a population of 5000 people and 40 bars. Most of the male population in the town was quote, alcoholic. I was a two-fisted drinker and that was a compliment. I mean that’s just the way those times were and it’s still that way in many parts of the world, in rural areas where alcohol drives a lot of choices that people make and sometimes they’re not very good.

I started drinking beer in cornfields when I was 12 and then, I went to College and I finished at University of Wisconsin in Madison which was a huge party school and it’s just something I did. When I got into, commercial real estate, there were all the functions and cocktail parties, so I just remained a, functional alcoholic, in the business, but it became more and more of an issue when I remarried my second wife.

She became the person who was not only wife and lover, but became my spiritual mentor in moral compass and she had powers in what I call the world of the unseen. I think you probably can guess what all that involves. It got to the point that there was a major incident (I won’t give you the spoiler), you just have to read the book, but it came down to her saying “you either quit drinking or that’s it”.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

I got it and I did what I had to do then, but the really most impactful experience in my life was a few years later when she dropped dead one night. There was nothing to prepare for that experience and that’s when I really had to evaluate the big picture and business and all of that and then life and meaning.

Tragedy and alcoholism

Myrna: That is you’ve got “a you” and a great story. There are so many different nuggets and many different checkpoints in there. You said you share all this in the book so that people would be able to understand the, sales skills, understand how you were able to move through, alcoholism, and now you’re on the other side.

You learned the fundamentals like you said and then you’re able to build on that by being at the highest level of, real estate. You know, commercial real estate, and in a city that is number one or number two interchangeable in, real estate. I’m pretty sure you’ve got a lot of good stories in there.

Your book “The other side of success, money and meaning in the golden State”, my favorite question to ask authors is what do you want readers to walk away with after they close the book?

Martin: If I just wanted to work off grief, I could have kept the personal journal. First and foremost I created it as a story. I think I have a good story that even if, commercial real estate, is not something the reader has a high interest in, they will find enough else in there about life and so forth – that they’ll find rewarding.

Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV
Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV

Living the American Dream

Myrna: Your parents lived in the Hitler era, you came to America as we all come to America hoping for the, American dream.

You found that dream, but along the way you had some personal tragedy and, Alcoholism, but you were able to get over to the other side. Now, as you write the book, you’re sharing the story of personal tragedy and success with some business nuggets. Do I get that right?

Martin: Yes, exactly okay. I try not to get too technical also because this is for the general reader in terms of, there’s one chapter devoted just for, commercial real estate, and share how I put a deal together.  I try not to get too much in the financial aspects and all of that.

Myrna:  That’s good though, because when you’ve got, commercial real estate, in the tagline, someone will pick it up because they’re in, commercial real estate. So, it’s good that you have a chapter on putting together deals in, commercial real estate.

Conclusion

Martin: If listeners would like to buy the book, the easiest thing is just to go to my website www.martinsawa.com. You can buy it online from Amazon or the bookseller of your choice. With another click, go to my social media sites where you can see some of my other archived interviews. If you scroll to the bottom you can send me an email. I love to hear from readers.

Myrna: This was a very great interview. Like I said, I love combining self-help with a bit of business and building wealth. In the, commercial real estate, you didn’t want to talk about your commissions, but I am sure they were impressive. The deals may take one or two years to do, but in the end it’s rewarding. Do you have any last words for the readers?

Martin: Yes. Take advantage of the time while you have it because you never know when the big guy is going to call your Number.

Additional Resources

How to Own the Sales Process from Prospect to Client

Real Estate Investing with No Money

 

Synchronicity: Is It A Coincidence?

synchronicity vs coincidence

Synchronicity, is the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related, but have no discernible causal connection.

Spirituals guru’s like Deepak Chopra says, synchronicity, operates in the spirit realm. Our, vibration, and energy attract people and things to us to help us to carry out our purpose and sometimes to guide us in another direction.

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Understanding Synchronicity

Everything in our physical world is made up of, vibration of energy, including the walls in your house, your bed and our thoughts.

Our thoughts are the most powerful, vibration of energy.

Any thought that is repeated over and over in your conscious mind will make an, imprint, into the, subconscious mind.

Once this, imprint, takes place, it becomes a, vibrating force, and attracts to you the people, places and things, circumstances, events, etc. that matches the images you have within. You have the real power to influence and direct the things that happen to you with your thoughts.

What is an example of Synchronicity

Let me give you a personal example. I talk about this in my book Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement 

Back in 2004 my ex-husband and I were going through a rocky marriage. I was constantly thinking of ending the marriage, but I kept it going because he was sponsoring me to become a permanent resident in the United States. During the application process, I left the country to go to Toronto for my brother’s wedding and when I tried to return to the USA, I was denied entry because I did not apply for a travel pass.

I spent a very painful week in Canada and my husband did not care if I ever came back. So, my thoughts were constantly on “I can’t go through with this. I can’t stay married to this man.”

I was able to get back into the United States (if you want to hear the story pick up a copy of my book)

My very first day back to work I met my current husband. I took the train to and from work and he was the officer working the train to verify ticket purchase. I walked on the train and he was standing at the door doing a ticket check.  Our eyes met and sparks flew.  Two weeks later my husband and I had a fight on Father’s Day, and we called it quits. Nothing about this chain of events was a, coincidence, this was, synchronicity.  My permanent residence application was denied with my ex-husband and my current husband sponsored me and my children.

“The most strongly endorsed explanations for coincidences are God and fate” God promises that everything will work out for your good.

Synchronicity vs Coincidence

Coincidence vs synchronicity, are related, but distinct terms. The term coincidence, describes a seemingly related series of events that occur without apparent cause. The term, synchronicity, requires that the individual ascribe deeper meaning to the, coincidence; like the story of how I met my husband.

Pay attention to where coincidence is leading you.

Synchronicity, is energy when you change your, vibration of energy, you start attracting more of what you are feeling. This is the, Law of Attraction.

One practice to clean up your, vibration, and start attracting, synchronicity, into your life is with, imprinting.

Imprinting, is like learning your times tables

It has been, imprinted, into our, consciousness.  We never forget.

Visualization with imprinting

I bet if I asked you what is 7*7 you don’t have to think before responding 49. I learned that 55 years ago!

We can also, imprint, empowering beliefs.

Let’s say you believe that you will be successful.  Visualize daily that you are successful now.

Visualization, is imprinting

Your, subconscious, will pick it up and you will start seeing synchronistic events start showing up in your life.

Additional Resources

Are You Trapped By Your Past?

 

How To Get Out Of The Snares of Child Abuse

Out of the Snares of Poverty and Child Abuse

Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement is a book written to encourage women of color who were born in lack. It showcases my, personal growth, journey and how I got, out of the snares, of poverty and, child abuse.

 

This is my interview on the Books of the Month show on www.ptwwntv.com

Listen to the interview:

 

Introduction to Out Of the Snares

Myrna – I am a, life coach, I host a show on the preach the word television network called Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life, one of the reasons that I wrote the book, Out of the Snares, is because I believe and I wanted to encourage women that it is not where we come from, but where we end up that’s important.

It’s also the only way that we can go through that transition like from a caterpillar to a butterfly is if we allow the things that happen to us in life help us with, personal growth.  We should use challenges to transform ourselves and for our, personal development.

So, the book, Out of the Snares, is basically a story of my life.  I wrote it from a, life coaching, perspective with 10 principles of, life experiences, that happened to me and what I learned from those, life experiences.

I’m a, life coach, but I do most of my coaching on my show Transform Your Mind. It is a radio, podcast and a television show.

Dr O.C Pringle:  You’re doing it all sister Young, you’re doing it all right and so of course your inspiration would be your, life’s experience, and, child abuse. let’s talk about that.

Out of the Snares of Child Sexual Abuse

Myrna:  I was, sexually abused, as a child in Guyana by a family friend.  He was technically my Godfather, but being from a third world country, a very poor country and he was very rich.

We would call him a, pedophile, he showered me with a lot of attention,  and bought me a lot of gifts and then took advantage of that.

I didn’t realize that we were doing anything wrong until I became 13 and started having Boyfriends.

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DR O.C Pringle: Until you became what?  Wait how old were you?

 

Myrna:  This, sexual abuse, began at age 10.

 

Dr O.C Pringle: Wow did anything ever happen to this guy?

 

Myrna: No, because like most children I didn’t say anything about it. I told no one. This book was my first experience talking about it and I in my 40’s when I wrote, Out of the Snares. My dad read the book and was very upset that he did not know this was going on.

Children carry a lot of shame regarding, sexual abuse, I still carried shame when I wrote, Out of the Snare. As you can see I used my maiden name Trotman for the author name.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Dr. O.C Pringle: So, you placed Myrna Bernadette Trotman on the cover of the book, because you didn’t want people to know it was you, but your picture is on the cover!!

 

Myrna: I started to release shame when I started talking about the, sexual abuse, and when I learnt that children can’t give consent for sex. So whatever guilt and shame that I had attached to my, sexual abuse, I released it.

 

Dr O.C Pringle: Well listen it worked out for your good, but all things work together for the good of them that loved God and are called according to his, purpose, so your, sexual abuse, worked in your favor. You were able to redirect that energy into something positive where you’re helping people all over the world.  You’re on radio and on television, yes you are some kind of a woman.

Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement

Self Improvement Book: Out of the Snares
Out of the Snares of poverty, and sexual abuse

So, let’s talk some more about the book.

 

Myrna: Out of the Snares, is made up of 10 principles in life that we should live by:

 

  1. Keep Your, Vision, in Front of you– Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of vision casting.
  2. The events in your life whether good or bad, work together for good– God said I know your expected end. Stay the course; don’t give up until you win.
  3. Let the, Universal Laws of Attraction, the, Laws of Intention, work for you– Ask and it will be given unto you.
  4. Have a, Positive Mindset– Take control of your thoughts and attitudes. Get rid of ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts)
  5. Use what you have in your hand– You were created with a purpose; God gave you the skills and talents you need to complete your task. Stop waiting for the right time.
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  1. Be intentional about your Growth– Be proactive, be intentional, build on your gifts, and continually improve.
  2. If you build it, they will come“ Be a servant first.
  3. Find your Passion– it is the Fire in your belly. Become conscious of what lights you up. God put that Fire in your belly as a beacon to achieve your purpose.
  4. Love– it is what makes this Human experience worthwhile. Love yourself first. Love is spirit, God is spirit.
  5. Business Consciousness– how to create a startup company and succeed in marketing.

Additional Resources

Do You Have A Child Sexual Abuse Story? Break the Silence

Self love is the secret Out of the Snares of Child Abuse

How to Consciously Plan Personal Growth

personal growth

As a Life Coach, I know that the secret to, personal growth,  is to consciously plan for it. It doesn’t just happen.  We all know the acorn lives in the oak tree!  But unlike the Oak tree, personal growth, is not pre-programmed into your DNA. You need to have a plan for, personal growth.

“You can’t see the picture if you are the frame”~ Les Brown

Hire a, Life coach, invest in you!. A, Life coach, is able to Help you see the entire picture.

Personal Growth Podcast
Personal Growth Podcast

Introduction to Personal Growth

Think about it. When you were growing up, your pediatrician would have you stand by a growth chart and he was able to determine how healthy you were by your growth as it related to his growth chart.

In a similar way, you can determine your professional health by your, personal growth, chart.
Did you stop growing and learning when you left school? The secret to, personal growth, is that you have to plan to grow every day?

That management promotion you are asking God for will not come if you don’t proactively do the work to acquire the skills. That spouse or healthy relationship will not come unless you proactively work at becoming the best you. Your business will not grow unless you have a growth plan, commonly called a business plan.

Below is Starbucks proactive plans for, Personal  Growth:

The People’s Republic Of Starbucks
Speaking last month at an investors’ conference in Seattle, Belinda Wong, head of Starbucks in China, said the company was opening an outlet every day on average in the world’s second-largest economy.

“This year we have a higher ambition,” she told shareholders. “We will open on average one store every 18 hours.”

The company just opened its 1,500th outlet in the country, considered a milestone for the company that views China as a major source of growth this year. It wants 3,000 outlets by 2019, compared with its current 11,000 in the U.S.
Unlike in the U.S., Starbucks in China targets affluent cosmopolitan professionals and students, and puts stores near where they shop, study or work.
“Starbucks’ China and Asia-Pacific region is one of the new target areas for the company, where it intends to focus its near-term growth. Starbucks,” said a research note from Trefis.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

5 Tips to Help You Meet Your, Business Goals,  by Entrepreneur.com magazine.

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/246435

1. Define your projects.

The first and most important thing in, personal growth and development, is to figure out what projects you are dealing with. First, what is a project? My definition is anything that takes more than a few easy tasks to get done. Setting up that new sales software? That’s a project. Expanding your network? Yep, that’s a project, too. Growing your business? That’s a collection of projects!

Some of your, self improvement, projects will be pretty obvious, but others will lurk in the background unacknowledged. To unearth all of your projects, write down everything you’re currently working on and everything you want to be working on. Then, group that list around specific, personal growth,  goals.
That action will likely lead you to your project list. You may have 10 to 20 (or even more) projects on this list, but to be effective, you’ll want to pick the two to five projects that are most important, and focus on those for the remaining tips.

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iHeart Radio

2. Give your personal growth projects a start and end date.

You should know (or decide) when each, self improvement, project should start and end. This will allow you to sequence projects by prioritizing them based on when they need to start or be finished. Start and end dates will also allow you to plan around your own business cycles and prevent projects from going on for much longer than they should.

3. Make a one-page plan for Self Improvement

A little, personal growth and development, planning goes a long way to helping a project succeed. To create a one-page plan, jot down your answers or notes for each of the following questions:
• What problem will the project solve?
• What is the benefit to the organization?
• What kind of staff and budget do I need?
• What are the major milestones?
• What are the potential stumbling blocks?
• What risks does this project pose?
• What is my work, self improvement, plan (list of tasks or sub-items to be completed by when)?
• What are the specific metrics for success?
• How will you know the project is done?
Note: if you’re going to keep the plan to one page, your answers need to be relatively concise!

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4. Establish communication routines.

For any project that involves multiple team members, set up communication routines in advance. Will someone be reporting progress weekly? Monthly? Will there be a recurring call for all parties to check in? Who is responsible for checking on whether the project is meeting its milestones?

5. Know if and when to quit personal development

In the, personal development, space, it’s best to finish what you start, sometimes it’s necessary to pull the plug. If you have all of your projects laid out, with start and end dates and a clear one-page plan that includes milestones and communication guidelines, you should have all the information you need to know when to quit a project.
Certainly it’s not always easy to quit, especially if you’ve already committed a lot of time, energy and emotion. But if a, personal development,  project is dragging on.

Here are some questions that can help you think through whether or not to abandon your, personal development, Goals:

• Is the goal of this, personal growth,  project still important to my organization?
• What was the planned ROI for this project? What is the ROI now?
• What is my opportunity cost in working on this? Could I better achieve my goals by spending this time on other projects?
• What is the emotional toll of continuing with this project.

Finally, commit to Constant and Never Ending Improvement (CANI) that is, self improvement.

In my book “Out of the Snares” I share that as a Limousine Operator, I went to the National Limousine Association annual meeting in Las Vegas every year. Every year I would practice, personal growth and development, by learning from the best operators in the business on how to use technology, improve on services and expand on my products. That allowed me to have a 30% annual growth rate and win the Entrepreneur of the year award in 1998. My intention was to become the largest operator in the Greater Toronto area and have a fleet of over 100 limousines. The secret? A, personal growth, plan!.

“Reach for the moon, even if you miss, You will land among the Stars” ~ Les Brown

The Importance of Constant and Never-Ending Improvement required for, personal growth

• Sometimes when you’re prepared to step out and be different you’re going to cop some criticism
• Don’t wait until you’ve got everything 100% right before you get started. Get it 80% right and then continue to improve it as you go
• By being different – you will also be memorable!
• Have high targets to stretch you for, personal growth.  They said man would never land on the moon…but he did. If you don’t aim high, you’ll never get where you want to be.
• Fear is what stops you from setting what people would say are ‘unrealistic goals’
• The famous Australian Cricket batsman, Sir Donald Bradman had this philosophy every time he came out to bat: I’m going to hit it for 6! If I don’t get a 6, then I may get a 4. If I don’t get a 4 then I’ll get either a 3 or a 2 or a 1. But at least I’ll get something!
• The average Real Estate Agent in earns $23,000 – $24,000. You can’t afford to be average!
• It’s not about selling…it’s about people. Be a people-helper because that is the key to your success in sales
• A Real Estate client’s lifetime value is $127,000.  If you look after them and keep in contact with them. What’s the lifetime value of your clients?
• Provide a guarantee for your clients and this will give you the edge over your competition
• If you’re prepared to step out and take risks – and overcome your fears – you will become a leader in your industry
• Develop your daily rituals of success
• Exercise will help you keep your stress levels low and enable you to be more productive
• We spend too much time wasting our time – and not improving ourselves
• Shut up and listen! Really listen! If you can’t work out your client’s needs in the first 10 – 15 minutes, then you shouldn’t be in sales
• Honesty and Transparency are crucial to long term success
• Serve others and not yourself

Adobe Photoshop PDF

Pick up your copy of “Out of the Snares” and understand the how having a, Life coach, can help you grow intentionally by helping you see the “Picture in the Frame” . Learn how to get motivated by your passion and natural abilities. “Out of the Snares” is the story of my vision to become a US citizen and my journey to leaving a Legacy for my children. The secret to my growth was I committed to constant and never ending improvement.

Order your copy today.https://myhelps.us/book-order/

Trying to see the picture? Need help understanding your DNA and what is in your seed? Let me Help you.

Additional Resources

7 Strategies to Personal Growth

The Events in Life Work Together for Your Good

Events in life work together for your good

The bible promises in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” That means that every challenge, trauma, disappointment, in life,  works together, for your good.

In “Out of the Snares” the book, I introduce my book with these words:

The greatest gift we can give others is hope. Somewhere out there someone is going through a storm of great magnitude; the pain is so great that they are considering suicide.

The purpose of this book “Out of the Snares,” is to give such a person, Hope. Hope that God promises “all things, in life, work together, for your good.”

Hope, that like the caterpillar that goes through the darkness before turning into a butterfly, your storm is designed to make you stronger, to cook you into a diamond so that God can use you to encourage others.

The darkness in life is meant to show you the way

As you come out of darkness and into God’s light, you become self-sufficient and proactive instead of reactive. Think about it. Just as the caterpillar does not know, when he is a caterpillar he will ultimately become a butterfly; when you are in your darkness, you don’t believe this you will ever see the light. “Out of the Snares” is written to remind you that the darkest part of the night is just before dawn. Joy does indeed come in the morning.

You have to walk by,  faith. Faith,  is defined as “the ability to trust the outcome of a thing even though you can’t see it.” I am the evidence. God has brought me from a mighty long way. I have achieved every goal that I set for myself and I am working on the next goal right now. Every event in my life, worked together, for my good.

In this book “Out of the Snares” I share with you, my readers, the principles of the Bible and the Universal Laws or Truths that I stood on to win. Order your copy today.https://myhelps.us/book-order/

Events in life work for your good Joseph’s story

The principle of God working all things together for good is well illustrated in the Old Testament account of Joseph’s life. Early in Joseph’s life, Joseph’s jealous brothers sold him into slavery. In Egypt, Joseph rises to a position of responsibility. Then, he is unjustly imprisoned and forgotten about by his friends. God gifts him the ability to interpret dreams, and through that ability Joseph is once again raised to a place of honor and power. When drought forces Joseph’s brothers to seek food elsewhere, they travel to Egypt and encounter Joseph, who eventually saves them from starvation and grants them a livelihood in his new land.

Throughout his life, Joseph trusted God no matter his good or bad circumstances. Joseph experienced plenty of bad things: kidnapping, slavery, false accusations, wrongful imprisonment, rejection, and famine. But in the end God brought things to a wonderful, life-affirming conclusion. God blessed Joseph’s entire family through those painful circumstances and through Joseph’s faith. (You can read about Joseph’s life beginning in Genesis 37.)

Romans 8:28 is a promise for believers. Real believers. Those who are living for Christ. Not those who claim to believe in God but are living like the devil.

This verse says to those who love God and are doing their best to obey his commands, “Even though bad/sad/evil/wicked things will happen to you, in life,  God will use them to, work together, for your good, both, in your life, and in the world.”

Additional Resources

Nothing is Impossible: How to Turn Life’s Challenges Into Opportunity

How to Reap What You Sow in Sales

Universal laws of sowing and reaping

Most of us are familiar with the seeds of, tithing, and giving; but the law of, sowing and reaping, go way beyond the physical.

My guest today is  Dr Denise Johnson, Spiritual Psychologist, on her radio program “Spiritual Principles for Emotional Healing.”

In this interview, I share my back story of how I became conscious and awakened, my first book, Becoming Conscious, my Awakening, the situations and storms in my personal life that resulted in my spiritual growth and evolution, and finally my topic “Are you Eating your Seed, How to Reap where you Plant”

In this episode I also share how Tony Robins “Unleash the Power Within” seminar ushered me in the direction of my purpose.
You see I was on my way to becoming a house wife when I happened to attend one of Tony’s “Unleash the Power Within” seminars and left the experience totally fired up!

Two months later, I was the proud owner of my first stretch limousine and the CEO of “A Royal Livery Limousine Service”
Six years later, I was being honored with “Entrepreneur of the Year

The Law of Sowing and Reaping

Here is Gerald Butler’s experience with the “Unleashing the Power within” seminar!

“Fear is a huge issue for me. This technique Tony has is a really smart way to literally set those fears aside… That to me, is unleashing the power within.” – Gerard Butler

As a distinguished actor, Gerard Butler, spends his life at the next level. Between his countless roles, Gerard is also a dedicated philanthropist. Introduced to Tony Robbins through his dad when he was 17, Gerard had listened to several audio programs before attending Unleash the Power. Despite living life in the public eye and being one for adventure, Gerard struggled with losing focus and being consumed in fear. Before attending Unleash the Power Within, he even found himself nervous about participating with 10,000 other people. Enraptured by the intense energy of the event, his nerves quickly disappeared and he found himself finally able to move towards overcoming his habit of fear. Gerald learned the, law of sowing and reaping, sow joy and reap joy instead of fear.

How coaching helps you learn the laws of sowing and reaping

Life Coaching,  is taking the client from where they are today to where they want to be tomorrow.
Life coaching,  is different from sports coaching.
If the client does not get the victory, you don’t fire the coach!

The life coach’s role is not to design the plays, but to Help the client discover the right plays!

As a spirituality coach, I help my clients understand who they are?
What beliefs have been holding them back from success.
What are the obstacles they have to overcome to achieve success in life and the concept of, sowing and reaping.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

What are some of the seeds you need to plant to reap success

Most of us are familiar with the seeds of, tithing, and giving.
The bible teaches that if you bring your tithe into the storehouse, God would multiply it 60, 100 times.
But, the law of sowing and reaping, go way beyond the physical.
My sales manager told me once to “To Reap where I Sow”
That means that as a field sales agent, I am building relationships in my, sales territory, I am, sowing seeds.
Similar to a real estate agent who farms a territory.
You don’t want to spend years building, sowing, and then leave before the harvest!

Sowing seeds, are important in your job, in your marriage, in your friendships, with your children.
The bible teaches to love as you want to be loved, you must give first whatever you want to receive!
In your job, if you are faithful, working hard every day as unto the Lord, then your seeds will grow into the harvest of a promotion.
Just keep watering the seed through service and attention.

Why does God give you a seed?

As is taught in the parable by Jesus and the 3 servants entrusted with bags of silver by their master; God expects you to multiply whatever he gives to you.
He does not give you a talent or a gift for you to bury it or hoard it for yourself; no he gives it to you to benefit his kingdom.

Let me explain that using a physical example, the apple tree. Each apple has 5 seeds.
500 apple trees can produce an orchard of 30,000 apples. Proprietary growing and pruning methods developed by Tree Plantation, can double that again to over 100,000 apples per acre.
In a similar way, God gives you seeds so that you can scatter them and produce fruit!
He can blow your seeds where you did not even plant!

How to Make your Ground Fertile for sowing and reaping.

To make your ground fertile, you have to hear the word, and do the word.
You can’t reap a harvest without first tilling the soil, you have to make the soil ready to receive the nutrients to grow the plants.
One way to do this is to find your burning bush!
What did God put inside of you that he wants you to bring to fruition?

How to Equate the Laws of the Harvest to the Laws of the Universe?

Whatever you sow you shall reap!
You reap in proportion to what you sow, so sow generously.

Remember the oak tree lives in the acorn!

Small things do grow into big things.
Keep hitting the anvil, do something small every day to water the seed you have in the ground.

What is the Eating Your Seed Concept?

You have to save some of your earnings in order to plant it.
If you consume it all, you will have nothing to, sow, and you will always be without.
That is why your financial planner advises you to save 10% of your income to invest and get a return.

The bible teaches us that if you give, it will be given to you, A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.
But it starts with giving.

Give whatever you want to receive, plant whatever you want to sow!

In closing, this is your season, this is the right time, start planting your seeds, keep watering them every day and watch God turn your apple into an orchard!

If you like this content please subscribe to my iTunes channel
coach Myrna iTunes link

Additional Resources

How to Unleash Power Within

 

How to Find your Passion, Your Burning Bush!

How to find your passion

How to find your passion,  It is that thing that you were created to do. It is your, Burning Bush, that makes you feel like you transcended your body and entered into the heavens. Passion, it is the thing that you would do all day, for Free.

In my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement, I share, How to find your passion, regardless of life circumstances.

That is how to, find your passion.

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”
— Field Marshal Ferdinand Foch

Introduction How to Find your Passion

One of the self-evaluation questions I ask my new clients is “If you were the Powerball winner of 500,000,000, what would you do with your time?” You see when you take away the need to earn money, then your head becomes clear as to what your, passion, really is. If you are looking to, find your passion, this is how you find it.

Free Download: Out of the Snares, How to Heal your Brokenness
Out of the Snares, passion

In my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”  I tell the stories of Walt Disney, Sylvester Stallone, and J.K Rowling. These are 3 examples of ordinary people who accomplished extraordinary things because they were able to convert their, passion, their, burning bush, into its monetary equivalent. Their, passion,  was like a, “burning bush, ” deep within their souls and they were driven to consummate this burning desire.

How did Walt Disney, find his passion? For Walt Disney it was drawing and Art. Walt started drawing as an ambulance driver in the army and discovered he loved to draw. Then he became a Commercial Artist. After being let go from his company, he decided to start his own graphics company. His company failed from bad management. Walt had a string of failures that included bankruptcy before he found success. He married Art with imagination and created the happiest place on earth. His passion for drawing birth an empire that has gross revenues today in the billions of dollars.

Walt Disney World is now visited by over 5 million families every year. Annual cash flow from Disney’s consortium of products and films are in excess of 21 billion dollars. It includes 535 Disney stores, a cable television station, amusement parks in Orlando, California, Paris and more. All because he would not let the fire in his belly die.

How did Sylvester Stallone find his passion?

Sylvester Stallone was born disabled. He suffered injury at birth that left one side of his mouth deformed and caused him to speak funny. Sylvester’s passion was born from being hungry. Like Les Brown would say

“You got to be Hungry”

Sylvester was broke and hungry. He was walking the street one day, cold and hungry and he decided to go into a library to stay warm. Laying on the table was a book about a fighter who overcame odds to win. That inspired Sylvester Stallone to go write the Rocky story. He wrote that story in one sitting. He did not stop for 20 hours! How did Sylvester “find his passion” and know that he could write a great screen play? He just knew. Maybe he dreamed it, maybe God has been giving him hints his whole life. That inspiration was the gasoline that lit the fire that God put inside him. Again he married passion with imagination and wrote a story that resonated with each and every one of us. The story of Rocky. It made him a millionaire many times over.

“When you set yourself on fire, people love to come and see you burn.”
— John Wesley

https://thelogicalindian.com/story-feed/get-inspired/inspirational-success-story-of-sylvester-stallone-rags-to-riches/

Back in the day, Stallone was a struggling actor in every definition. At some point, he got so broke that he stole his wife’s jewelry and sold it. Things got so bad that he even ended up homeless. Yes, he slept at the New York bus station for 3 days. Unable to pay rent or afford food. His lowest point came when he tried to sell his dog at the liquor store to any stranger. He didn’t have money to feed the dog anymore. He sold it at $25 only. He says he walked away crying.
Two weeks later, he read a book that gave him the inspiration to write the script for the famous movie, ROCKY.

He wrote the script for 20 hours! He tried to sell it and got an offer for $125,000 for the script. But he had just ONE REQUEST. He wanted to STAR in the movie. He wanted to be the MAIN ACTOR, Rocky himself. But the studio said NO. They wanted a REAL STAR. He wanted to start over as a movie star.
They said he “Looked funny and talked funny”. He left with his script. A few weeks later, the studio offered him $250,000 for the script. He refused. They even offered $350,000. He still refused. They wanted his movie, but NOT him. He said NO. He had to be IN THAT MOVIE.
By. Author > Abinash Mishra

How did J.K Rowling Find her Passion

J.K Rowling was a single parent, a divorcee and out of work. On a train ride from Manchester to London she got the inspiration to create the Harry Potter story. But she was already a published author. Writing her first book at 6 years old and another at 11 years old. She became an English teacher because her passion was books writing. Ms. Rowling feels that failure stirs the fire in your belly to do something about your, passion.

In 2015 J.K. Rowling’s 2008 Harvard commencement speech was published under the title ‘Very Good Lives: The Fringe Benefits of Failure and the Importance of Imagination’

How did I find my passion? One day I saw the word Life coach in the newspaper and I knew immediately that was what I was supposed to do. My, passion, is learning, building and imparting. As a Life coach, Author and Motivational speaker, I am constantly learning, building and imparting into the lives of others. I could do it all day and I could do it for free!

How to Find your Passion!

It may not be as an employee!

The best people to work for are me, myself and I.
– unknown

“There is no greater thing you can do with your life and your work than follow your passions – in a way that serves the world and you.” Richard Branson

If your passion is to build an Enterprise, then download my Free EBook

“Small Business, How to Mind your own business while working your day job”
Click here for more information

https://myhelps.us/small-business-ebook/

Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job
Small Business: How to Mind your Own Business while working your day job

If you have no idea what your, passion, is then maybe this article from Mark Manson will shock you into finding one.
(Rated R for Language)

https://markmanson.net/passion

Excerpt How to find your Passion

The common complaint among a lot of these people is that they need to, find their passion. There are holistic ways of finding your purpose. 
I call bullshit. You already found your, passion, you’re just ignoring it. Seriously, you’re awake 16 hours a day, what the f### do you do with your time? You’re doing something, obviously. You’re talking about something. There’s some topic or activity or idea that dominates a significant amount of your free time, your conversations, your web browsing, and it dominates them without you consciously pursuing it or looking for it.

It’s right there in front of you, you’re just avoiding it. For whatever reason, you’re avoiding it. You’re telling yourself, “Oh well, yeah, I love comic books but that doesn’t count. You can’t make money with comic books.”
F### you, have you even tried?
The problem is not a lack of passion for something. The problem is productivity. The problem is perception. The problem is acceptance.
The problem is the, “Oh, well that’s just not a realistic option,” or “Mom and Dad would kill me if I tried to do that, they say I should be a doctor” or “That’s crazy, you can’t buy a BMW with the money you make doing that.”

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-transform-your-mind-76709286/

The problem isn’t, passion. It’s never, passion. It’s priorities.
And even then, who says you need to make money doing what you love? Since when does everyone feel entitled to love every f###### second of their job? Really, what is so wrong with working an OK normal job with some cool people you like, and then pursuing your passion in your free time on the side? Has the world turned upside-down or is this not suddenly a novel idea to people?

Look, here’s another slap in the face for you: every job sucks sometimes. There’s no such thing as some passionate activity that you will never get tired of, never get stressed over, never complain about. It doesn’t exist. I am living my dream job (which happened by accident, by the way. I never in a million years planned on this happening; like a kid on a playground I just went and tried it), and I still hate about 30% of it. Some days more.
Again, that’s just life.
Author: Mark Manson

 

Additional resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/self-love-secret-out-of-the-snares/

How to Find your Passion in 2020

How to Find your Passion, Purpose and Freedom as a Mompreneur

How to Find your Purpose and Destiny By Your Natural Abilities

Ways to find your Purpose

 

One of the ways to  find your, purpose and destiny, is to to look inside at your natural ability. You were created with a, purpose. Find your, purpose and destiny, by looking at what you have in your hand.  There is something you can do better than anyone else on the planet. Seek and you will find it.

This week on #Mindset Transformation radio with coach Myrna, we give insights on 6 Ways to Find Your,  Purpose and Destiny. Coach Dan Willms and I  interview Keshia Marie Morris Desir, Political Activist, as she shares how she found her, purpose and destiny.

 

Introduction to Finding Your Purpose and Destiny

Purpose,  If you don’t have one, you will will never feel that spiritual fulfillment.  The bible teaches that people without a, vision, shall, perish.

I feel that having, vision, lines up with your, purpose, because God places the desires into your heart of what you were born to do.
That is the same statement that God made to Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. He told them that if they ate from the tree of knowledge, then they will surely die. And they did!
Not a physical death; but a spiritual death. In a similar way the bible teaches that people without a, vision, shall perish, again not a physical death, but in spirit
.
You see, having a, purpose, inspires you to live and not die!

I love this quote from the great Dr. Wayne Dyer

 

“Purpose, inspires you. When you are inspired by some great, purpose, some extraordinary project; all your thoughts break their bonds, your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new and wonderful world!” Dr. Wayne Dyer

That is what happened to my daughter Keshia Marie Morris. She became inspired after reading Nelson Mandela’s book “A Long Walk to Freedom

My partner coach Dan Willms and I interviewed Keshia on our show “You Asked for it”

Here is a poem Keshia wrote and I published in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” in my chapter on, Purpose and Destiny.

Out of the Snares

Order on Amazon

What is Purpose by Keshia Marie Morris Desir

Purpose, is continually evolving
When you emit God from your, purpose,
You close doors that God clearly opened
Know that God is behind your, purpose and destiny.
Take ownership of your, purpose and destiny, for it is not yours, but the Lords.

Purpose, requires you to be diligent
Rebuke laziness in the name of God
Have tunnel vision in regards to your, purpose
Focus on your, purpose and destiny.
Walk in your, purpose
Stand in your, purpose
Don’t forget your, purpose

Neglect those things that hinder your purpose and destiny
Don’t get caught up in daily living and,
Forget what God has purposed
You will never be perfect, only the God,
Who called you to your purpose is perfect!

Purpose, makes you leave what is comfortable
Purpose will help you endure what is uncomfortable
Just because you miss a short-term goal,
It does not take you away from your purpose

The end of your purpose is always bigger than you
Purpose, will always require some suffering!
Your, purpose and destiny, may have many fingers or parts
Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing,
Who will try to pull you away from your purpose

When you are weak, call on the Lord
Who is with you at ALL Times!
Through him all things are possible!!!
~Keshia Marie Morris

 

6 Ways to Find Your Purpose

1. To, find your purpose, look inside at your natural ability. You were created with a purpose. There is something you can do better than anyone else on the planet. Seek and you will find it.
2. Find your purpose, by paying attention to the things you like doing. The thing you would do for free. Ask yourself what would I do today if money was not a problem?
3. Find your passion. Do you want to help starving children in Africa? Do you want to stop domestic violence? Do you want to take big money out of politics? What injustice makes you mad? Don’t just talk about it, do something about it.
4. Keep learning and growing. Grow consciously. Read books. Attend seminars, hire a coach or a mentor.
5. Pray. Keep an open connection to God, so you are able to hear him through the Holy Spirit. Ask him what he wants you to do, and he will answer.
6. Reflection. Do you know what you are good at? Are you aware of your strengths? Find a quiet place every day and meditate. It is the only way to connect to source and find out who you truly are.

Understanding Purpose and Destiny

In the principles of, purpose and destiny, bear in mind that, destiny, demands fulfillment, and, purpose, expression. Both are the two-witness principle, as life is not about, purpose, alone. Both are essential for the fulfillment of what you were created for. For, purpose, without, destiny, is like having no real life at all. It’s like being on earth illegally. Therefore, we must define life from a sense of, destiny, by God’s purpose and design for our life, fulfillment, and the completion of God’s eternal purpose. We are to consider chiefly that God has a, purpose, in each of us to be fulfilled, for we are purposed and perfected with a, purpose, and destined and designed with, destiny.
We should take into consideration that our, destiny, comes from the true meaning of what the Father has eternally purposed us for? According to Ephesians 1:18, do we realize that our purpose is centered and ordained in the SON? Or are we so self-driven with our own ambition to fulfill our own expectation and desires?

Please subscribe to my podcast on iTunes.
coach Myrna itunes podcast

To contact me to be a guest on this show or for sponsorship opportunities, please send me an email at info@myhelps.us or on the web at www.myrnayounghelps.com

Additional Resources

Your Talent is Already in your Hand

 

How to Find Your Purpose in Life

Let the Universal Laws of Attraction Work For You

Universal_Laws

There is more to becoming a deliberate creator, than just letting the, universal laws, of attraction bring to you the desires of your heart. We all know it does not work like that. Some of you have been asking the, Universe, and praying to God for years, and you are still waiting to manifest your desires into your experience.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Matthew 7:7

This is a big topic. There is a lot written on, the Laws of Attraction. In my book “Out of the Snares” I embrace these, universal laws, fully. I also expected and allowed what I was attracting to show up. I lived consciously believing that ..

“there are no coincidences in life, that everything moment is as it should be.” ~~Deepak Chopra

I tell the story in my book “Out of the Snares” of me coming to the USA under the USA Free trade agreement, which allows Canadians and Mexicans to open up branch offices of current businesses in the USA; but when I got to the United States, I decided I wanted the benefits of being an American. I told myself “It would be nice if I found a husband.” As soon as I concentrated on that possibility the, Universal laws,  started offering up to me suitors for me to choose from!

Become a deliberate creator using the universal laws

There is more to becoming a deliberate creator, than just asking and receiving for everything you want. We all know it does not work like that. Some of you have been asking the, Universe, and praying to God for years, and you are still waiting to manifest your desires into your experience.

Here are 5 ways to help with being a deliberate creator and invoking the Universal laws.

1. Offer no resistance:
You have to offer no resistance to the, universal laws, you are letting go and letting God. In the above example. If and when the thought, came to me to find a husband and I had a bad experience with a prior husband and I told myself that most men are no good, then essentially what I am doing is saying on one hand I would like a husband and on the other hand, I don’t want a man because they are nothing but trouble. That sends mixed messages to the, universal laws, of attraction.

2. You have to allow it to come in.
Look at your list of things you want to attract in your life as people outside the walls of one of the ancient cities. This is, the secret. They can’t come in unless someone opens the gates of the city. In a similar way, you have to quiet your mind and stop confusing the, Universe, with all the stuff in your head. Find time every day to meditate and allow the, Universe, and its, universal laws, to work for you.

3. You have to believe in the 7 universal laws

Faith, is the evidence of things unseen. The bible teaches that if you have the, faith, of a mustard seed, you can say to the mountain get up and go into the sea. Faith is one way to let the, universal laws, work in your life. Logically and in the physical world that is not possible but Jesus was teaching us that “If you believe you can do anything.” That is truth. I have seen amputees climb to the top of Mount Everest, I have seen people swim across lakes, I have seen human beings defy incredible odds to survive and achieve. It all starts in the mind, if you think you can.

4. You have to be conscious of your emotions.
Your emotions are a powerful indicator of if you are moving towards or away from your desires. If you feel elated and happy, you are moving in the direction of your desires; if you feel dread and nervousness then that is your heart telling you that it knows something you don’t. Learn to pay attention. The trick is to not spend time thinking about the things that make you feel bad because you will attract more of them.

5. Become a deliberate creator or Sorcerer.
Sorcerer means from the source. Becoming a Sorcerer means that you are letting source energy and the, universal laws, work for you. It means that you meditate on what you want, pray and ask God to help you get it and then you move out of the way and let him do his work. The focus here is on the word “meditate”. You have to get still and hear God. When you do, you will get inspiration and instruction on how to move that mountain out of the way. You will get instructions on how to turn your business around, how to motivate your children, new book ideas etc.

In my book “Out of the Snares” I share with you, my readers, the principles of the Bible and the Universal Laws or Truths that I stood on to win. Order your copy today.https://myhelps.us/book-order/

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/if-you-build-it-they-will-come/

https://blog.myhelps.us/law-of-harvest-are-you-eating-seed/

7 Ways to Get Unstuck and Take Back Your Power

Mother wound healing

One of the worst, negative emotions, in my opinion, is the feeling of, being stuck; defined as moving forward or going back looks worse than staying in the misery of your current situation. How do you, get unstuck?

Our topic today is How to, Get Unstuck. This is a, life coaching, session with, coach Myrna

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Being stuck, is a place of no personal power

https://youtu.be/w4Qxq23FzPQ

What it feels like to be stuck

A few months back I received a note on LinkedIn from a young lady who said she was,  stuck. I felt her pain deep within my soul so I offered her a free, life coaching, to, get unstuck.

She was in an, abusive relationship. Her boyfriend was physically abusive to both her and her 2 year old daughter and she feared for her life. She had the courage to pack up and leave that situation. She lived in Florida and her only family lived in Atlanta, Georgia. In order to, get unstuck,  she quit her job, left her boyfriend and fled to her sister’s home in Atlanta. Her sister was unemployed and had 6 children. She was dependent on her husband for support. This young lady felt uncomfortable living in her sister’s home, because she didn’t have anything for herself and now she had to feed her and her child. She called me because she felt she should go back to her, abusive relationship!

How many of you can feel her pain?
Being stuck, is  when the pain of staying in your current intolerable situation looks better than the pain of leaving.
It could be a domestic situation.
It could be an intolerable boss.
It could be a demeaning job.

How do you make the decision to, get unstuck?

How do you find the strength to want something better?

How did I coach this situation?

This is the major benefit of, life coaching, the ability of the, life coach, to see the frame.

You see you can’t see the frame when you are the picture!

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Coaching to Get Unstuck

I knew that one of the reasons that my coachee was thinking of going back, was because she still loved her, abusive relationship. She was trying to get someone else to agree with her.
So I asked her “Do you still love this man?” And she said yes.
Then I allowed her to become aware of what her brain was doing. It was, stuck, in repeat.
I told her that because she still loved this man, she is using the situation of her sister’s lack as the reason to return.
I asked her “Do you think your sister would want you to go back to that situation and maybe end up dead”? She said “no.”
I said think about it. What exactly are you taking from your sister? Space. Space doesn’t cost them anything.
I asked her if she had any money?
She said “yes.” So I said, use that money to buy food for you and your daughter so you can feel better about being a charity case.
.
After we got past the, negative emotions, we were then able to plan for the future to , get unstuck.

You can’t plan and have hope when you are busy wallowing in, negative energy, and self-pity of, being stuck.

I asked her about job prospects and she told me she had an interview scheduled for the next day.
That my friends is the First secret to, get unstuck.

1: Hope and Faith are important to getting unstuck 

Faith, that God can make a way out of no way.

Faith, that even though you can’t see the entire stairway you know that the stairs are there.

The message of, faith, in this story is that you can’t think that God intended for you to live in an, abusive relationship,  being dependent on an abusive man for your survival. You have to be able to get out of the valley, get unstuck, and see the light of the mountain top. You have to know in your heart that you were meant to be more. You have to want more for your children.

Once you find that, positive energy, things will begin to open up. Opportunities will come your way, God will open doors shut by the devil and your negative emotions.

My coachee got the job we are moving in the direction to, get unstuck.
She now lives in Atlanta and she is happy!
The devil is a liar, don’t let him convince you that you are, stuck.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

2: Another way to get unstuck is to move the energy around.

The universe is made up of energy. We are a bundle of energy.
When you have, stuck, energy it causes disease.
So you have to force yourself to get off the couch, you have to do something, anything.
Do it until you feel like doing it. Do the things you don’t feel like doing until you feel like doing it!

Another client of mine got fired from his job so he sat around all day with his hurt feelings.
Blaming his boss and all his friends who did not support him.

You have to get over disappointment and hurt so you can get on with it.
Don’t let tragedy destroy you and keep you, stuck.
Don’t stop, continue to stay busy.
Continue to work your plan take small steps if you can’t take big steps
Automatic negative thoughts don’t take any effort on your part they come naturally like weeds in your garden.
But if you want to grow roses or orchids in your garden it takes special effort and a process.

Similarly, being stuck,  on something someone did to you is natural.
Feeling angry when your kids are ungrateful for the sacrifices you made for them is natural.
Being fired after working at your job for 10 years, never taking time off for your kid’s soccer matches or dance recitals is natural.
Feeling vengeful at the betrayal of your spouse is natural.

It is natural to be angry, hurt, disappointed, vengeful; but it is important not to stay there.

It is important to, get unstuck, remove , negative emotions. You have to get over them and move on.

3: Seek the council of others when you feel Stuck

What my friend on LinkedIn did was good. She contacted a, life coach. She received council and got a fresh perspective.
Even if she not heed my advice, she still moved the energy by doing something.

One way to do this is to memorize and recite the, serenity prayer, several times per day

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

One of the first things they taught us in coaching school is that you can’t coach someone that is not in front of you. Why was this important? Because most coachees will come into the coaching conversation complaining that their life is a mess because of the actions of someone else. The only person that you can change is yourself. You have no control over the behavior of anyone other than yourself.

4: Another way is to find peace with the situation if you can’t or won’t move right now.

I remember a sermon I heard from my first Pastor. He said whenever he felt like complaining about his wife he would pray and ask God to change him!

So for example if you are, stuck, in order to, get unstuck, you have to become aware of your thoughts. Change the way you look at the bad things he or she does. If he or she talks to you with disrespect. You can tell yourself it is not personal, that he or she speaks to everyone like that because he doesn’t know any better.

If he only talks to you with disrespect you can tell yourself that he doesn’t know you and let his words not penetrate your consciousness. He can talk but you do not hear or transfer the words. It becomes just noise.

This is a simple example but it works to, get unstuck. This is also called the Law of Allowing. It especially works in intimate relationships.
When you stop resisting and allow your partner the freedom to self-express, you open up the path towards healing the brokenness and allow the relationship to become healthy.

Concentrate only on what you are doing and saying. Stop reacting to stimuli and watch what happens.

5: Another technique is to notice when you are stuck and distract yourself

  • Come back to the problem later
  • Write out options and solutions
  • Write out the worrying situation
  • Write what you can do about it
  • Write what you cannot control about it.

6: Most importantly are your thoughts. Whether you are stuck or not, your thinking makes it so.

The thoughts that matter most are your self-thoughts.
It is never the situation that causes you to be, stuck, but your thoughts and feelings about the situation that makes you feel stuck.

Your thoughts influence your emotions, so to, get unstuck, think differently, and you will feel differently.

Sometimes, how you think someone should respond to you, blocks your blessings. If you move yourself and your ego out of the way.
Then maybe God can give you what he has in store for you.

Look at the bible story of Naaman. Naaman was angry because the profit did not come out and greet him and bow down to him when he came to him to heal his leprosy. Instead the profit Elisha sent a messenger out to tell Naaman to go wash himself in the river Jordon seven times and he will be restored. . Naaman went away angry because he felt disrespected. But he was smart enough to accept council from one of his servants. The servant told him he had nothing to loose by following the instructions of the profit. The servant was able to see the frame around the picture. Naaman could not. He could only see the situation that was making him mad. He decided to follow the profit’s instructions.
He went and dipped himself in the river Jordon seven times and he came out perfect and clean!.

Naaman almost missed his blessing by reacting to what he considered disrespect.

Some of you are, stuck, because of poisonous thinking.
Your thoughts can poison your spirit, and then you never see positive only negative.

As Neapolitan Hill said

As a man thinking so is he.

Shakespeare puts it another way

“Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”

7: You have to know yourself to grow yourself

You have to know where your pattern started.
You have to make the connection between your old story and your current circumstances

Eg. If your mother gave you up for adoption and your feeling of abandonment are keeping you stuck in Low self-esteem,
you should become aware that your past has nothing to do with your future.

You know better, that you are not your mom and she had her reasons.
The deeper truth is that you are responsible for your life and not what someone did to you.
You have to shift and take responsibility, you have to know that you keep getting into these situations because of your lack of self-esteem or because of your need for security.
Awareness is key. Once again, a coach can help if you can look at your patterns objectively.

What are you blaming?
What is your pattern? What is the evidence of your pattern?

I had a coaching client who had 3 failed marriages where the men stole from her.
We had to find her pattern and why she kept attracting and falling in love with the same type of man.

We discovered that she loved how her dad took care of her mom and paid all the bills, so she kept looking for that trait in a man.
She ended up getting the opposite.

Use your negative energy to get unstuck

Did you know that nothing exists without its opposite?
You can’t know light without knowing darkness.
In order to know if something is good you first have to experience bad!

She had to learn to create a new pattern.
She had to go inside and use her feminine power of intuition to pick a mate.
She had to listen to her inner desire and not the outer desire for material pleasures.
When she did that she shifted her pattern and created a new one.
Now she is in the best relationship of her life.

She tells me that she has touched the moon and it feels so good!

To read about my personal journey of getting Unstuck, pick up a copy of my book
” Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement”
Adobe Photoshop PDF

Out of the Snares

Additional Resources

How to Heal Your Brokenness

How to be Happy with Less