How to Manage Compulsive Behaviors

compulsive behaviors eg. compulsive eating

Millions of people suffer from at least one of the, compulsive behaviors, Compulsive shopping, Compulsive eating, Hoarding, Compulsive sexual behavior.

—often, even when the individual wishes they could stop—despite the fact that the act triggers negative outcomes, leads to interpersonal conflicts, or damages mental health.

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Introduction to Compulsive Behaviors

Common activities that can develop into compulsions include, compulsive  shopping, hoarding, eating, gambling, sex, and exercise. Though some behaviors are easier to over-indulge in than others, in reality, nearly any behavior has the potential of becoming a, compulsive behavior. Some people even talk compulsively, for instance.

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There are also obsessive compulsive disorder, in which a compulsive person performs certain behaviors to relieve underlying anxiety or other negative emotions. A well-known example is a person who checks and rechecks everything—if the stove is turned off, for instance, or if the door is locked.

These behaviors rarely decrease anxiety in the long run; in most cases, they only provide temporary relief. In extreme cases, compulsive behaviors start to take over the person's work, home, and social life, at the expense of normal activities.

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How are Compulsive Behaviors and addictions connected?

Compulsive behaviors, have a genetic effect and are often seen in identical twins. I know 17 year old identical twin girls who came into the foster care system at 4 years old and have had trauma. I attributed their, compulsive behaviors, to genes from their biological parents and environment from their early years in foster care. They started, compulsive behaviors, like stealing  from about 5 years old, as they grew older that transformed into, compulsive shoplifting, then they started running away and couldn't stop, now they are compulsively, hoarding.

Compulsion behaviors,  often arise after stressful events, trauma, or abuse as we have seen in our study of addictions. When people engage in, compulsive behaviors, they become trapped in a pattern of repetitive actions or senseless thinking from which it can be difficult to break free.

Treatment is often key for overcoming, compulsive behaviors.

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How does normal behavior turn into,  Compulsive Behaviors?

As far as the brain is concerned our rewards are reward important,  so regardless of whether it comes from a chemical or an experience and you know that there's a
reward and people who indulge in , compulsive behaviors,  like gambling,  eating,  sex, and shopping,  become trapped in the reward system of dopamine.

Types of Compulsive Behaviors

Compulsive behaviors, come in many forms, all of which can be quite debilitating or even dangerous.

Hoarding, for instance, are those who are unable to part with even the most worthless possessions. Many hoarders find the act of purging so distressful that they live under extremely crowded and potentially harmful conditions.

  • Compulsive shopping,
  • Compulsive eating
  • Over exercising
  • Hoarding
  • Compulsive cleaning

Compulsive Hoarding,   is a psychiatric disorder which involves the accumulation of personal possessions to the point at which these accumulations interfere with your quality of life to a significant degree. The acquisition of “things” and failure to throw away unneeded objects can result in only mild symptoms of a cluttered home to a home which is too unsanitary for healthy living. At the current time, it's thought that between two and six percent of the population is living with some degree of hoarding disorder.

  • Compulsively taking selfies and posting on social media
  • Compulsive sexual behavior or sexual addiction

What negative triggers enable Compulsive Behaviors like Hoarding.

The brain tricks us into thinking that we need the reward so we perform the, compulsive behavior, to re up the Dopamine
I know that as humans we move towards pleasure and away from pain. In my role as parent with kids who have, compulsive behaviors. These behaviors are cemented because they engage the reward centers of the brain.

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How does one break that reward system for, Compulsive Behaviors?

Don’t wait until sexual temptation attacks you before you see it as a formidable force which seeks to destroy you. Its insidious tactic is designed to enslave you into sexual sins and keep you locked into erotic desires. How you perceive sexual temptation in your life, determines how well you will overcome its deceitful force, and walk in total victory.

“Naked and Ashamed, the Battle of Sexual Temptation.” is a Christian self-help book that explains what sexual temptation is, and gives you Biblical scriptures on how to control your sexual desires, and unnatural urges.  With chapters such as recognizing the tempter, and rejecting the flesh, you will study strategies on how to recognize situations that tempts you, and learn how to keep your flesh under subjection. Although we will all be tempted sexually at some time, we can learn from this book on how to refrain from overreacting and falling into sexual bondage. So put on your seatbelt and get ready to be free from all of your unwanted sexual desires and temptations.  Order “Naked and Ashamed, The Battle of Sexual Temptation” today! Written by Sheela Fields, now available on Amazon.

Sex Addiction Treatment

Let’s look at, compulsive sexual behavior, or sexual addiction. Sexual addiction, is represented by, compulsive behavior,  in commonly available sexual practices, such as

  • Attending strip clubs,
  • Compulsive masturbation,
  • Paying for sex through prostitution,
  • Excessive use of pornography,
  • and repeated engagement in extramarital affairs.

Compulsive sexual behavior, otherwise known as sexual addiction, is an emerging psychiatric disorder that has significant medical and psychiatric consequences. Until recently, very little empirical data existed to explain the biological, psychological, and social risk factors that contribute to this condition. In addition, clinical issues, such as the natural course and best practices on treating sexual addictions, have not been formalized. Despite this absence, the number of patients and communities requesting assistance with this problem remains significant. This article will review the clinical features of compulsive sexual behavior and will summarize the current evidence for psychological and pharmacological treatment.

Dr Ahia What forms of, Sex Addiction Treatment, would you administer to someone suffering from, compulsive sexual addiction?

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How would you treat a youth that had the compulsion for taking selfies or even shoplifting?

Additional Resources for, Compulsive Behaviors

http://blog.myhelps.us/childhood-sexual-trauma-and-addiction/

http://blog.myhelps.us/drug-alcohol-treatments-women-with-trauma/

http://blog.myhelps.us/call-me-an-addict-child-abuse-statistics-p3/

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childabuseandneglect/acestudy/index.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Crucial Role of a Healthy Lifestyle Against COVID-19

Have a Healthy Lifestyle During covid-19

Wildly Alive coach Nichole Wurth shares how having a, healthy lifestyle, could help you fight, coronavirus COVID 19, and become BFF's with your body.

Journey to a healthy lifestyle.

I was raised on Hamburger Helper and mac and cheese.  I didn’t know the basics of nourishing your body or a healthy lifestyle.  That  was not something that was taught to me, so I got out of high school and I gained some weight.  I did what most women do.  I started dieting. I wouldn't say that I had a big-time body image issues or self-esteem issues going into that whole experience; but after every diet  I started to realize it took out a chunk of my self-esteem.

So after years of dieting if you would have looked at my body you would have thought damn she's got it going on she's so fit she's so healthy. I want her body, I want her, healthy lifestyle.   But in all reality even though I looked like I was living a, healthy lifestyle,  I was an absolute mess inside.

I had disordered eating and disordered exercising and I was so lost in trying to have a, healthy lifestyle, I didn’t even see it I was I was obsessed with what I was going to eat and what I couldn't eat. I was strategizing with every bite.  It was strategy all the time.  I was still deeply unhappy because before living this, healthy lifestyle,  I blamed all my unhappiness and the reason why I don't have a boyfriend, the reason why I don't have a fulfilling job, or the reason why I don't have …fill in the blank, was because of my body.

 

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A Healthy Lifestyle begins with Diet

It's very common for women to blame everything on their body,  so now that I had lost the weight and I look fit and healthy and living a, healthy lifestyle, I no longer had anything to blame for my unhappiness.  So again even though you would look at me and you think wow she's an inspiration,  honestly I was lost from disordered eating and disordered exercising.  Most people they don't even see it, and they're broken.  That's how diet culture works.  Diet culture intentionally breaks you, breaks your trust with yourself, so then you need a diet all the time.

That's how I was for years.  I didn't trust myself without the guidelines, without the rules and other restrictions.  I went through that whole journey. I lost the weight and I was worse than I was before I started that journey.

I start moving into like exploring okay how can I find happiness and freedom and a, healthy lifestyle, at the same time because dieting does not get you happiness and freedom.  It feels very caged.  That's the philosophy of the wildly alive coaching program. I started coming up with this idea that your body is a living, breathing, feeling thing just like a plant.  So if I went into my office every day and looked at my plants and said to them, you're ugly and you're not good enough and you need to try harder.  I would have sent negative energy to them right they would rebel and not thrive.

The Ketogenic Diet is good for a healthy lifestyle

I think that's where most women are.  They look at their body as just this thing that's hanging on them, that's never right and will never be right, and they're constantly abusing it.  If you want to call it abuse or not, it really is, because you probably would never talk to your best friend that way or even your enemy.  That is when I started really looking into instead of creating change from a place of shame, which diet culture teaches, if you just hate your body enough then you can change it shifting that to respect base change.  learning how to respect our body as we are changing and reshaping it. The Ketogenic Diet is the new popular diet plan.

Food plays a very important part in our body image and women in particular, maybe even men. Men drink, women eat! I'm not sure, but a lot of times if you have emotional problems it shows up in what you eat.  And yeah when you go to the gym, and you have a really nice body, that's on the outside. You could still feel shame inside.

A lot of women could identify with, you’re overweight and you buckled down and lost the weight, they are now living a, healthy lifestyle, they go to the gym every day, they eat right and embrace,  healthy living,  so where is the reward. Where is the boyfriend or husband?

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When did your, Healthy Lifestyle, start?

I gained all  kinds of weight at the end of high school because I was in the industry and I was eating a lot of jalapeno, mayonnaise and French fries. It was like my favorite combination with  Big Mac.  The whole the whole world globally, we're looking at the, coronavirus, and at, COVID-19, and everybody including all the health experts are now on talking about a, healthy lifestyle,  because what we're all now acutely aware that if you have a healthy immune system then you can probably get over this, coronavirus, illness. My, healthy  lifestyle, programs started  before people became conscious of, healthy living.   A, healthy lifestyle, is  being wildly alive!

 I wanted to create something like a like a bridge between the, covid-19, pandemic and, healthy living.  I'm telling my clients right now is first and foremost and this is the basis of wildly alive coaching,  is your mind is the most powerful muscle in your body and so just like with dieting.

And the constant feeling of stress, you have to change from the inside.

 

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When I was dieting, I was constantly stressed, I was afraid of butter.  I was afraid of red meat and so on and so on. Even though according to my little calorie counting notebook, I was eating

all of the right things; because I was so stressed over the food, that I was unhealthy. Stressing about everything you put into your mouth is not a, healthy lifestyle.

What is the Feminine approach to a Healthy Lifestyle

This is a respect based approach to, healthy living. If I can help show you how awesome your body is, and how it's doing so many things right now, in this moment, then what will start to happen is, you'll start to recognize that your body is always talking to you.  She's always speaking to you.  She can guide you on the best things to eat and the best ways to move and how to thrive in this whole self-care thing.  You don't need a plan, you don't need somebody telling you what to eat and how to exercise and what to do to feel happy, your body can tell you all of that.

We live in this Western society that just cuts you off at the head and makes you think that all your body is or something you manipulate, that's all it is it's just this mass, that has no voice or no wisdom.  So when you start opening up the lines of communication with your body, you start to listen to it. You start to feel really good.  It is just like when you get a cut you don't have to look at the cut and be like okay white blood cells come do your thing. No the white blood cells are on it. They start forming a scab around the cut and the processes of healing begins.

Our bodies are so smart that we can't even conceptualize and wrap our mind around all the brilliance of our body.  So if I can teach you some of that, and I can show you how awesome your body is and how she is here to guide you.  She's here to guide yourself care and, healthy lifestyle, and  she's also here to guide you on your life choices.

 

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The 28 day moon cycle

The feminine approach is really is a woman’s 28-day cycle if you're menstruating.  As women we have a 28-day cycle and that 28-day cycle mirrors the moon.  There's four phases within our 28-day cycle and also within the moon cycle.  Those four phases also mirror the four seasons of the planet. A, healthy lifestyle, includes following your cycle.

For example just to make this really simplified, when you're bleeding it is the New Moon phase.

When we're having our period we tend to be more hibernating, we're not as extroverted.  This is our introverted time.  This is the time when we reflect and restore.  This is our winter time so if you're ever confused you just look at the season the new moon. So when you're bleeding doing a high intense workout it's probably not the best thing for your body.  If you're on hormonal birth control or you're not having your period,  just start tracking the moon and your body will start syncing up with it.

Vice versa the full moon  is your ovulation or summer phase.  You are hyper energized.  There's lots of growth, there's lots of expansion, there's lots of extroverted energy and so this is a really good time in terms of movement. Now is the time for that high intensity workout or doing that new salsa high intensity class.

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http://blog.myhelps.us/ask-coach-myrna-how-to-start-over/

Wildly Alive  self-care and, Healthy lifestyle, coaching program

Shame -based change is by telling yourself you can't have those things and you're a bad person if you eat those things, so just to flip this on the head a little bit and think about it from a respect based change.  I always tell my clients I would never tell them they can't eat things ever unless they have an allergy to something,  that's a whole different conversation. Telling yourself you can't eat bread because this study says that bread is bad for you.  I don't think that's enough to really shift into respect based change.  I'm a huge believer in moderation.  I think a little bit of everything is okay.  So have the bread or have the beer, really sit and enjoy it.  If your body starts to say to you, I feel bloated every time I drink a beer, then make some changes. Drink half a beer or try a different beer.

Here are the mechanics for a,  healthy lifestyle, during covid-19

  • trying keeping the energy light in our house
  • limit media, limit the news because it is mostly negative
  • have a lot of sunlight.
  • getting outside and connecting with nature. Being in nature boosts your immune system. I also love to bring nature into my house. I have lots of my salt lamps.
  • Do some sort of movement on a regular basis. It could be going out for a walk, it could be yoga, it could be bike riding. Exercise calms your nerves.
  • drink a lot of water
  • increasing your vitamin C intake. I've been making this lemon ginger juice.
  • stay open to the lessons of the, covid-19, pandemic
  • be grateful for what you have and for your family
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I read somewhere that you were disappointed in Oprah. Please share why that is.

I would to preface this statement with I do love Oprah. I love her in so many different ways as a woman, as a woman of color.  She is breaking the mold and I love her for so many reasons; but a few weeks ago, I was watching an interview with her in Lady Gaga and she's on stage and they were talking about mental health and I loved it. I was like yes I love this conversation they're about mental health, this is such an important part of health right now. But then I started seeing  WW everywhere and I was like what is WW? It was  Weight Watchers and I was so devastated in that moment because Weight Watchers is diet culture.  It's the epitome of diet culture.  They were having this beautiful conversation about mental health and calorie counting. Weight Watchers has been proven to be mentally unhealthy. It was so sad.

I still love Oprah, I know she's human.  I know she's flawed.  I forgive her.

Do you have any special programs or coaching programs that promote a, Healthy Lifestyle

You can find all coaching programs at www.wildlyalive.com

I do have a new free challenge called the embrace and reach your body challenge, that will start in a few weeks.  You could go to wildlyalive.com flash challenge.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/its-not-about-willpower-how-to-lose-weight-without-dieting/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-nutritional-supplements-help-achieve-optimum-health/

http://blog.myhelps.us/reprogram-mind-stop-binge-eating/

6 Ways Your Thoughts Activate The Law of Attraction

the law of attraction

To get into the, vortex, and activate, the law of attraction, for the things you want, reach for the best feeling, thoughts, in every moment.

If you want to heal the body you must first heal the mind `~ Plato

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You create your physical condition through your thoughts: that means you can think yourself sick or think yourself well. I have healed pain in my body many times by focusing on healing energy.

Your natural state is wellbeing, not disease

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The Magic of the Breath

Disease is the result of blocked energy and that is why the body scan chakra meditation is such a powerful healing tool.

Relax and breathe deeply is the first response to any illness.

Try this next time you feel pain in your body, use these, thoughts, to bring about healing:

Imagine a light like the sun or moon entering your body through your breath. Send that light directly to the pain area hold it there for a few seconds. Then breathe out and imagine you are collecting the pain and breathing it out.

The Magic of Commitment Focus, Thoughts

You are either doing something or you are waiting for something to happen. You are either committed to someone or something or you are not.

Obstacles become opportunities when you are committed.

With commitment, failure is not an option.

Get clear of what you want and why you want it.  These, thoughts, help you focus and stay committed

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Ask yourself the following Questions:

  • What specifically do I want to happen? include details
  • Why do I want this ?
  • How will I feel when I achieve this goal?
  • Am I willing to ask for support if I need it?
  • Will I refuse to give up?
  • Am I excited about making this promise to myself?
  • Will I enjoy the journey from where I am today to where I want to be tomorrow?

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-transform-good-thoughts-into-things/

The Magic of Faith Thoughts become things  

You have to believe and have faith that the current universal energy will carry you to all your desires

Faith  is essential to manifesting your desires. It is the currency of the spiritual world.

Trust God and have faith that he will give you the desires of your heart

Hold the vision and trust the process

Go with the flow, try not to constantly swim upstream

Tune into guidance and intuition.  Let the universe take you where you want to go

http://blog.myhelps.us/caring-for-your-thought-seed-inception-ideas/

The Magic of your Life Story Activate, the Law of Attraction 

Start telling your story the way you want it to be, not how it is or was.

You are the director and producer of your life story

Tell an empowering new story about your marriage, your kids,  your bank account, your success.

Write the story, direct and produce the movie and, the law of attraction, will do the rest.

Check out Helen Keller The Story of my Life 

The Story of My Life, first published in 1903, is Helen Keller's autobiography detailing her early life, especially her experiences with Anne Sullivan. Portions of it were adapted by William Gibson for a 1957 Playhouse 90 production, a 1959 Broadway play, a 1962 Hollywood feature film, and the Indian film “Black”, which was directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali. The book is dedicated to inventor Alexander Graham Bell. The dedication reads, “To ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL Who has taught the deaf to speak and enabled the listening ear to hear speech from the Atlantic to the Rockies, I dedicate this Story of My Life.”

http://blog.myhelps.us/using-the-law-of-attraction-to-have-it-all/

The Magic of Asking, The Law of Attraction  

If you don't ask you don't get -Gandhi

Ask and you will receive – Jesus

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”

When you ask you get!

  • Ask with confidence and certainty
  • Ask with determination and persistence
  • Ask clearly and precisely
  • Stay focused on your desire and getting to your yes
  • Ask for what you want
  • Ask for that discount,
  • Ask for a major guest, if you are a podcast host like me
  • ask for a loan,
  • ask for a date,
  • ask for affection,
  • ask to be of service,
  • ask for the listing if you are a realtor like me
  • ask for the sale

Ask Ask Ask

See yourself in possession of what you are asking.

Connect with source and Ask God in prayer.

Make a strong declaration this is what I want and I will not  settle for less

The Magic of the Vortex, The Law of Attraction 

Life inside the, vortex, is Devine – Abraham Hicks

The, vortex, is the place where everything you desire is held.

It is un-manifested potential and how, the law of attraction, works

Everything you have asked for consciously or unconsciously already exists in vibrational reality called a, vortex.

All your desires have already been manifested and are waiting for you in your, vortex

Vibration reality always precedes physical reality because  whatever you hold in your hand, you first held in your head.

To get into the, vortex, and activate, the law of attraction, for the things you want, reach for the best feeling, thoughts, in every moment.

Think good feeling thoughts.

Stuff your, vortex, with positive energy and with good feeling, thoughts, and  actions:

  • like walking in nature
  • meditation,
  • singing your favorite song,
  • hugging your children,
  • kissing your spouse,
  • talking a hot bath,
  • getting a massage
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Direct your attention to positive, thoughts, and feelings.

Everything you desire will unfold at the perfect time, because you have activated, the law of attraction.

Conclusion

Thanks for spending this time with Coach Myrna today.  Remember to subscribe and turn on notification.

Until next time Namaste

 

 

Understanding Personalities: Which Archetype Drives You

understanding personailites types

Your Life Theme and, personalities,  shape what motivates and drives you throughout your life. Find out which of the four archetypes and the, 16 personalities types, that can compose your identity.

Introduction

John Voris, author of the book “Discover the Power that Drives your, Personality, How four Virtues Define your World, started his career as a door to door salesman.  He failed miserably as a salesperson, even after taking sales training. He wondered why some people with the same training is better than others and discovered that, personalities, play an important role in skill.   That started his thinking that some, personalities, can do certain skills better than others. He also realized that, 16 personalities types, controls  our communication.

 

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He learned that the human mind needs to express its authentic identity and, personality. One way it does that is by selecting the objects and environment that expresses who we are.  That means that the objects around you right now reflect your past decisions.  Decisions like, I know I like this or I don't like that.

How to identify our 16 Personalities.

John: So when I figured out how to sell to, personalities, I became an excellent salesperson closing 12 out of 14 transactions. I would be able to walk into a room and tell the motivation of my clients by the objects they surrounded themselves with. For example If you came into my office today I have over 4000 books. You can deduct that I am curious. Then you look at the titles of the books and you would understand my desire for wisdom. That doesn't mean I’ll buy; but if the salesperson tailor their language to my desire for wisdom and build rapport, they have a great chance of closing the sale.  That is how you read people.

Another example, if I were to go into a beauty salon, I can figure out the, personalities; everyone is having fun.  I want to appease the, personalities,  so when I  walk into the salon I talk about other people of interest. The people who just purchased my widgets like Janice two doors down.  I would talk about what is factual about Janice. The, personalities, in the salon would buy my widget because Janice bought it.

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How does Objects identity their  personalities?

Our, personality, as our way of expression.  Your identity does not follow. I think therefore I am; It’s the only way to find self-actualization or self-realization.  The objects, events and people around their, personality, identify the, personality type.

Myrna: I'm thinking of an object and that identifies, personalities, and identities. I'm thinking of maybe an expensive car, a big house, nice expensive clothes. These objects around me definitely define my, personality.

True,  but  I  look at what do you like to do for fun?  What is your hobby? In my 35 question, personality test, I ask the questions like “What event caused you the most pleasure? What event caused you the most pain?”  I ask you to describe both, you will find they are linked to the same answer because they are linked to your, personality, and who you are. I am able to identify one of your, 16 personalities types, from this test.

Discover Your Life Theme: The, Personality, Engine That Drives You

Your Life Theme offers the, personality,  framework that gives shape to what motivates and drives you throughout your life.

You are not a, personality, you are an identity. That identity is driven by one of four archetypes or  “Life Themes.”

These “ Life Themes” are Love, Justice, Wisdom and Power.

These represent four and the only four major motivating forces that can explain human behavior.

These four archetypes have many roles and functions that compose our identity. It is their adequacy of expression that is responsible for us living a life of happiness and success.

While each of us contains all four, there is one that takes precedent over the others.

They are responsible for our feelings and emotional reactions often causing anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, alienation, the lack of life meaning and purpose.

Once you know your, personality, that’s driving your Archetype, you will be able to understand its presence and better manage your life and your relationships.

The Myers-Briggs Personalities Type Indicator

An Overview of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
  • Intuitive-Thinking. INTJ. INTP. ENTJ. ENTP.
  • Intuitive-Feeling. INFJ. INFP. ENFJ. ENFP.
  • Sensing-Judging. ISTJ. ISFJ. ESTJ. ESFJ.
  • Sensing-Perceiving. ISTP. ISFP. ESTP. ESFP.

According to, Myers-Briggs,  theory of, personality types,  people can be characterized by their preference of general attitude:

  • Extraverted (E) vs. Introverted (I), their preference of one of the two functions of perception:
  • Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N), and their preference of one of the two functions of judging:
  • Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)

The three areas of preferences introduced by Jung are dichotomies (i.e. bipolar dimensions where each pole represents a different preference). Jung also proposed that in a person one of the four functions above is dominant – either a function of perception or a function of judging. Isabel Briggs Myers, a researcher and practitioner of Jung’s theory, proposed to see the judging-perceiving relationship as a fourth dichotomy influencing personality type [Briggs Myers, 1980]:

  • Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)

The 16 personalities types

The first criterion, Extraversion – Introversion, signifies the source and direction of a person’s energy expression. An extravert’s source and direction of energy expression is mainly in the external world, while an introvert has a source of energy mainly in their own internal world.

The second criterion, Sensing – Intuition, represents the method by which someone perceives information. Sensing means that a person mainly believes information he or she receives directly from the external world. Intuition means that a person believes mainly information he or she receives from the internal or imaginative world.

The third criterion, Thinking – Feeling, represents how a person processes information. Thinking means that a person makes a decision mainly through logic. Feeling means that, as a rule, he or she makes a decision based on emotion, i.e. based on what they feel they should do.

The fourth criterion, Judging – Perceiving, reflects how a person implements the information he or she has processed. Judging means that a person organizes all of his life events and, as a rule, sticks to his plans. Perceiving means that he or she is inclined to improvise and explore alternative options.

All possible permutations of preferences in the 4 dichotomies above yield 16 different combinations, or personality types, representing which of the two poles in each of the four dichotomies dominates in a person, thus defining 16 different personality types. Each personality type can be assigned a 4 letter acronym of the corresponding combination of preferences:

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The motivation of each of the four Life Themes or, personalities types:

  • The Love Theme- is motivated to better humanity by trying to correct that which causes pain, discomfort, suffering, and victimization. It is driven by love, compassion, and empathy.
  • The Justice Theme – seeks balance and harmony. Justice is expressed in several ways. It seeks to correct injustice and immorality in people, relationships and organizations. It also gets expressed by seeking balance and perfection using design through engineering, art, music, and literature.
  • The Wisdom Theme – is driven by a need to know in order to exercise sound judgment in problem solving and goal attainment. Wisdom finds its expression and purpose through teaching, learning, and working with data.
  • The Power Theme – needs to act upon thoughts and get into action. Empowerment finds its expression and purpose through Power as a natural leader and agent of change.
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As you can see, there is something deeper than our, personality, at work that is running the show. Our, personality, is merely the way we appear in social situations. It is not what drives us.

What drives us are ancient archetypal forces based on moral and ethical virtues. I like to see these virtues as gifts that we are born with and are compelled to express and give throughout our life.

All of us need all four of the universal motivation systems regardless of our upbringing, opportunities, and physical attributes:

To download a copy of John Personality test quiz visit www.JohnVoris.com

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Additional Resources, Personalities.

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-transform-your-career-with-purpose/

http://blog.myhelps.us/the-secret-to-living-the-life-of-your-dreams/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-disable-your-autopilot-brain/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_and_Type_B_personality_theory

Authentic Identity Assessment

What Are the 12 Archetypes and Which One Dominates Your Personality

 

Coronavirus: How to Protect Yourself

How to Protect yourself from the Coronavirus

The, coronavirus, is the latest virus to reach pandemic spread.  Before it was SARS, Ebola, Aids. Since these viruses come around every couple of years, learn how to protect yourself.

In this episode Dr Joe Nieusma, shares information on how viruses like the common cold, influenza virus, and other viruses operate in our body, what is the virus intent, how our immune system fights, what happens when the, immune system, looses the fight, and how health care workers stabilize patients.  We look specifically on what makes the, coronavirus, so deadly and so infectious. Finally we discuss wellness programs and how you can protect yourself against the, coronavirus, and the next infectious virus, since they come around every 2 years or so.

Coronavirus Update

As we record this episode the world is in a panic regarding the, Coronavirus, also called the, COVID-19

  • The US death toll for the, corona virus, has climbed to more than 278
  • COVID-19, cases in the US have surpassed 22,000+  and there are more than 298,000+ cases  worldwide, 12,755+ deaths. 
  • Confirmed cases of the novel, coronavirus, have topped 200,000 worldwide
  • Federal reserve cuts interest rates to nearly zero
  • Italy reported 368 new, coronavirus, related deaths on March 15, a 25% rise
  • Many US retailers have cut hours or closed in the face of the, coronavirus
  • Spain reported that deaths from the, coronavirus, have more than doubled in a day to 288 with infections near 8,000
  • All these reports have produced fear. People are hoarding supplies.  There is no toilet paper, wipes, hand sanitizer, bleach, hydrogen peroxide and other items in the stores. 

 

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My guest today is Dr Joe Nieusma is the fearless CEO/Chief Toxicologist at Superior Toxicology & Wellness, an international scientific consulting firm that he founded.

The Behavior of viruses?

I've been in toxicology for 30 plus years and my specialty is exposures scenarios that the human body must endure. Exposure is the broad brush.  That could be chemical exposure, that could be pharmaceutical exposure, that could be exposure to, electromagnetic radiation, that could be 5G, that could be biological exposure or microbial exposure; so the fact that I've specialized in exposure of the human body, that's where my expertise comes in.  Exposure to the biologicals, viruses to specifically the, coronavirus.

  • I opened my own practice and company called, Superior Toxicology and Wellness, providing services helping with the pharmaceutical industry and in chemical exposures. Basically taking care of people, giving them a full toxicological report.
  • The human body has a set amount of defense systems and exposure to the, coronavirus, in particular that's where the damage starts kicking in.

Before we get into our discussion of the, coronavirus, let’s talk about viruses like the, common cold, SARS, Influenza virus, Mers, AIDS virus, Herpes virus etc.

The common cold virus

  • The, common cold, is a virus actually in a classification called, rhinoviruses, which is actually a sub classification of the, coronavirus, family so they’re all related.
  • Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is a viral respiratory illness started in  … Europe, and Asia before the SARS global outbreak of 2003 was contained.
  • Influenza Virus, commonly known as “the flu“, is an infectious disease caused by an influenza virus. Symptoms can be mild to severe. The most common symptoms include: high fever, runny nose, sore throat, muscle and joint pain, headache, coughing, and feeling tired.
  • Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS) is viral respiratory illness that is new to humans. It was first reported in Saudi Arabia in 2012 and has since spread to other countries.
  • Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) is a chronic, potentially life-threatening condition caused by the human immunodeficiency virus(HIV). By damaging your immune system, HIV interferes with your body's ability to fight infection and disease.
  • The herpes simplex virus, also known as HSV, is an infection that causes herpesHerpes can appear in various parts of the body, most commonly on the genitals or mouth. There are two types of the herpes simplex virus.
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The coronavirus is designed to not get detected

All these viruses consists of a protein coat, the technical scientific word for it is a capsid and this protein coat protects the genetic material which is inside the virus.  The two basic types of virus you have are DNA viruses and RNA viruses.  They have genetic material and they have a protein coat that consists of multiple proteins and this is collectively known as a, viral particle, so that, viral particles, need some sort of a pathway to attach to a host and get into a host cell.  The, coronavirus,  is specifically designed for two things:

  • it's designed to get into that host cell
  • and it’s designed to avoid getting eliminated.

So the way that happens is that it has an interaction through a specific receptor and with the, coronavirus, that receptor is the 8/2 receptor – stands for angiotensin converting enzyme. That is the gateway for the, coronavirus, to attach to the host cell and get all of the genetic material into that host cell.

The, coronavirus on its own can't replicate it needs to be in conjunction with the host cell and what the, coronavirus,  does is what all viruses do.  It hijacks the host replicating machinery to make copy after copy of the viral genetic code, so then when that host cell is so loaded with, viral particles,  it virtually bores open and sends new viruses all over the body.

  • The virus that hijacks the cells and uses it to replicate will kill that cell when that starts to happen the body mounts a defense against those, viruses so it's a battle between how fast can the virus replicate or how fast can the body take out the virus that's trying to overpower the defense mechanisms of the body the defense mechanism of the body.
  • This is called your, immune system. The, immune system, is the super complex organ system in your body that never gets enough credit, the, immune system, in the human body has the power to ruin your life and it does that when it gets out of whack and starts attacking yourself. This is called autoimmune disease, so it is a  delicate balance of keeping your immune system in check but still powerful enough to battle against viruses.
  • That balance that is generically called, wellness, so you can begin to see how everything is.

 

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How the immune system works to fight the coronavirus

When the, virus, is winning over the, immune system,  that's when you start to see symptoms of the viral illness. The body gets sick and the illness progresses.  The body is spending all kinds of resources to try to fight the viral load the viral replication and it's also now trying to manage the symptoms of that illness.

The way you intercede pharmacologically that means fancy big words are saying how do you use drugs to attack the, viruses, well you need an antiviral drug or vaccine and usually those types of drugs target those proteins that are in that protein coat that's around the genetic material or they try to halt the viral replication in the cell.

  • We sacrifice the one cell to stop the viral replication and if we're going after the protein coat that's usually the targets of, vaccines,
  • It's difficult to make a vaccine that's why there's no cure for the, common cold, because those proteins in that coat are continually and rapidly mutating. You have to have something stable to develop a vaccine to fight that viral infection and if the mutation rate is too fast there's not a target that's around long enough to design that vaccine against.

How does the Influenza virus vaccine work?

The way to describe this is let's say you have a bucket of, flu viruses,  and there's a hundred different kinds in there.  The look at historic data about emergence of these different viruses historically over time and they're trying to predict the best case scenario for which, flu virus,  is going to break out and run through the human population in any given year. So what they do is they take the top three that will most likely to break out, flu viruses, and they formulate that season vaccine to those three viruses.  There's no guarantee that they're getting it right.  There's no guarantee that it's going to be effective and it's always going to be a best-guess scenario.  It's still a good idea to get a flu shot because more times than not, one of those flu viruses that they have in that mixture is going to the one.

Why does the, coronavirus, affect the elderly population?

I'm understanding why the people who are dying from the, coronavirus,  so far are the elderly or are sick people who have compromised, immune systems,  because the, immune system,  can't fight the, coronavirus, as fast as their bodies are making these duplicates.

What they've seen in the population statistics are the people at the greatest risk are the people that are 70 years old or older or those that have pre-existing medical conditions,  respiratory effects, cardiac effects.  Those  folks with those types of medical problems are particularly at risk and those are the ones that should absolutely adhere to every one of the guidelines being put out.  Stay away from crowds, keep your hands washed, do not touch any common surfaces where this infection could be because they have the least amount of capacity to fight and survive this particular viral infection.

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What makes the, coronavirus so infectious?

If I had to answer that with  one word that word would be, infectivity.

Basically the difference between the, coronavirus, COVID-19, this year's poster child for pandemic is  the  amount of people that got this infection and how easily it spreads from person to person to person.

This is the key that sets it apart from other, viruses, like, common cold, SARS, Influenza virus, Mers, AIDS virus, Herpes virus, Ebola virus,  etc.

The infectivity rate of the, coronavirus,  COVID-19 is much greater and much more aggressive than viruses, that have been available in the past or attacked  humans in the past.  So in one word it would be its infectious nature.  That's what sets the, coronavirus, apart; but the reason that is  because of the gateway that, coronavirus, gets into the host cells it's the ace 2 receptors.  (Angiotensin converting enzyme 2.)

Coronavirus receptors

  • Humans have these, coronavirus receptors, on your heart, on your lungs, on your kidney, on your liver, on all of your blood vessels, and in a high propensity in your oral cavity, your mouth, your tongue, your cheek, your throat, your airways; so whenever there is any viral particles, let's say somebody that gets less than 6 feet away from you sneezes and you can feel the droplets on your face well you also have those receptors in your mouth, and your throat ,and all of those droplets if that person is infected is just chock-full of, coronavirus, and those viruses bind to those receptors in and around wherever they can get in your body and then start that process of replicating.
  • Smokers have a higher level of the ACE2 receptors, so they are more susceptible to the, coronavirus.
  • The virus invokes an inflammation response, so what happens is the virus gets in and it triggers your, immune system, your, immune system,  calls for the cavalry and the cavalry consists your t-cells that's your b-cells and all of your other leukocytes, your white blood cells, come rushing to wherever this space is that this attack is going on and the your body is mounting a mass inflammation response to try to kill whatever is there in this case it's the, corona virus.
  • The problem is the things that go awry is that when your, immune system, gets completely overzealous and calls in everything it has to launch an inflammation reaction that's bigger than it needs, it loses the braking mechanism if you will and what you have is called a cytokine storm. That cytokine storm produces such an inflammation reaction that it runs through your cellular protective mechanisms.  Your lungs get flooded and your organs start to shut down.

Organ failure and the coronavirus

You can get multiple organ failure over a very short period of time.  If the person is going into, cytokine storm, because of the, coronavirus, infection, it's a very bleak picture.  It's very painful and the people have to have very intense resource intensive medical care if they're going to have a chance to survive.

The, coronavirus, can be symptom-free up to 14 days and I've seen some evidence that suggests it could be 24 to 28 days without symptoms.  What's going on at that time is there's a fight raging in your body between the, coronavirus, and the, immune system,  if the, immune system, wins then that person never shows symptoms; but is still was infected and give it to other people.

The other thing which you hear repeatedly in the media, is that you have to  be careful because this, coronavirus, can live on surfaces for up to nine days. Think about this as you grab the grocery cart handle and the gas pump, then after touching those services how many times do you scratch your nose or touch your eye.

 

How to Protect yourself against the Coronavirus?

  • You have to protect yourself against infection the best defense is avoiding infection in the first place.
  • That's barrier protection that's avoiding the crowds
  • That's keeping your common areas clean
  • That's washing after you touch common areas
  • It's just not doing anything stupid
  • Make sure you're in top physical condition
  • you know I mean just make sure
  • Make sure you're hydrated
  • Make sure that you're getting enough sleep
  • Make sure that you're eating a good diet not a bunch of processed food
  • Eat a diet of half or mostly plants and you're going to be okay
  • Practice Wellness

I was listening to Dr. Deepak Chopra give advice on the, coronavirus,  and he talked about having a healthy lifestyle that included, meditation, exercise, and  nutrition.

What is your wellness program to prevent the, Coronavirus?

  • Meditation is tremendous, it's the power of the mind. You absolutely have to have a positive outlook and you have to be thinking about how you want things to be, not how you dread things could be.
  • Exercise the promotes a healthy body, it helps you to eliminate toxins and gives your body an avenue to eliminate things. Exercise increases your body temperature and it produces the sweat and it increases the circulation to the lymph system, which is your garbage disposal in the body.  Which helps to eliminate toxins.  Exercise gives you the sense of well-being.  I try to do something active every day.
  • Nutrition like I said right before eat half and mostly plants and you're going to be okay. There's actually some new research out there that shows after going 90 days on a vegan diet that you change the transcription of 500 different genes in your body, some of them for promoting wellness and others for preventing disease.  It just unlocks your body's ability to engage with the consciousness of the universe.

One product that I have found that builds up your, immune system, and I've written a paper for non-scientific people is called C60 complete from livelongerlabs.com.

Its carbon 60, which is the world's most efficient antioxidant.  Having carbon 60 on board can help to stop that cytokine storm that happens when you're when your inflammation response goes haywire and the other two ingredients in C60 complete are black seed oil and curcumin. Those two are very powerful natural products that have been around for centuries in the herbal medicine circles.

The other programs that I like are on my website Superior Toxicology and Wellness.  Click on the HOPE button, HOPE stands for, Health Optimization Prescription Evaluation.  Those folks who are on multiple drug products and think they have no way out of that polypharmacy because one doctor put them on one thing and the next doctor put them on the next thing and the third doctor put them on something else and none of those doctors took the time to look at what they were already on,  I'll do that for you.  I'll be that pharmaceutical advocate and give you the questions that you can ask your doctors to say.  Do I really need to be on these drugs or why am I on these drugs. Because if you can eliminate the drugs and give your body what it needs to function optimally, you're going to give yourself the best case scenario to fight off these pandemics.

This year it's, coronavirus, before it was, SARS,  before it was, Ebola virus, it's always something killing humanity about every two years.

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Additional Resources, coronovirus

Novel coronavirus, is among the family of, coronaviruses, that cause illnesses that range from the common cold to Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS). Until last year, the new strain had never before been seen in humans.

Symptoms of the infection include serious respiratory illness often with additional fever, cough, and difficulty breathing. Currently there is no cure nor a vaccine for the infections, so physicians treat patients based on their symptoms. Some patients come down with a bad case of pneumonia or kidney failure. Gastrointestinal problems, like diarrhea, have also been reported.

People who already have underlying health conditions may be more susceptible to the infection, and their symptoms may be different from  the majority of cases — for example, they may not experience respiratory problems.

Novel Coronavirus: 5 Things To Know About the SARS-Like Infection

http://blog.myhelps.us/8-secrets-to-sexy-total-health/

http://blog.myhelps.us/using-reiki-heal-your-mind-body/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-nutritional-supplements-help-achieve-optimum-health/

https://www.quora.com/q/coronavirus?__ni__=0&__tiids__=5991642

 

 

How to Plan Fund Build Your Dream Life

The path to Financial Freedom

I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.~~Nathen Aaren

Nathan Aaren helps heart centered entrepreneurs merge all of their passions into one life mission.  Plan, fund and build their, dream life, and business. He’s raised over 1 million dollars per client and worked with Fortune 500 Companies and Grammy Award Winning Artists including The Olympics, Adidas, CBS Sports, Lil Wayne and Ray Ban, and produces two podcasts which charted #1 on iTunes. After being homeless, he became an agent and landed his first 7 figure investment for a client, which later allowed him to create a reality series, “Chasing My Dreams”, which will air this winter 2020.

Listen to the full interview here:

 

Introduction – Homeless to living your, dream life?

Nathan – There are so many lessons that I've learned from being homeless; but really basically I started off thinking I was going to be super successful and then I ended up being homeless, locked out of my car. I hit rock bottom, one of many rock bottoms, and over the course of that time I learned a few things.

On one hand, I learned some things about navigating in the real world.  The physical existence of this life; things about leveraging, money, leveraging resources, so that you can live from a place of abundance and not of scarcity.

I also learned some physiological things like meditation and even spiritual things relating to manifestation.   When it came to the financial stuff, I realized that, I needed to stop thinking about money the way I was thinking about it.  I feel that people generally speaking, either thinks about, money, and there, dream life,  when they are in need.

You need Money to live your, dream life

When people or are not living the life of their, dreams, or have lack, they're not going to be happy; but when they get that, money, they'll be happy and start living their, dream life.

Then you have other people who demonize, money, and say, money, is not important, money, is the root of all evil (which is actually interestingly regularly misquoted from the Bible). Whatever side of the spectrum you're on, we can find a middle ground and say, “I need human beings to help me with my mission, with my vision, and my, dreams, and with my goal of living my, dream life. If I need tools, if I need resources, if I need anything that you could possibly imagine, then I need to find a way to get you those resources.

I ended up homeless and without resources, because I didn’t have a plan for my, dream life. I just expected to move to Los Angeles and my, dreams, would just manifest.

Myrna – What happened that night you were locked out of your car. Did you start making a plan then?

Nathan – No that the night I remembered an event when I about 7 years old.  I was about 7 years old – thinking who do I want to be? What are my interests as opposed to just thinking what profession do I want?  This memory caused me to create so many tools for myself, for perspective and for abundance mentality.

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Some tools to visualize your, Dream Life

Things like gratitude, things like meditation, and also things like just coaching myself.  Going on walks and coaching myself whenever I find myself in a negative thought pattern.  I'll walk round the block or sometimes I'll walk for miles and I'll just say okay “Nathan what's going on, talk to me” then I'll talk right back.

Myrna – So at seven you started thinking about your interests and what is was you wanted to do? When did you start visualizing your, dream life, and visioning things? You mentioned meditation, tell us about your end of life meditation practice.

We want to transition into visualizing your, dream life, the power of intention, rewriting your old programs and thinking about what you want to be at the end of your life. I guess that’s your end of life meditation correct?

Nathan – When I started figuring out the, money, side of things and helping people get funding, I started realizing that I was helping people get, money, for things that maybe they lost passion in. Maybe that they thought they liked that career and then changed their mind.  Sometimes they got the, money, and they started working towards their goal, of the life of their, dreams, and was miserable because it was not their Dharma.

So I tagged into the beginning of my coaching process, this end of life meditation as a way  of figuring out who you are.  What you want to be doing with your life; just getting really clear. A lot of clarity, so that when you're walking down that path and you get to the point where you get funding, when you get, money, for your personal expenses and your business expenses, that it is something that just can't leave you; because it is who you are.

I really resonate with your Life coaching package,  where in either your first or second episode where you talk about who am I; I love that process. I will admit, your program  is a little better than mine! I just love helping people through that process of clarity.  One of the tools I use is, the end of life meditation.

End of Life Meditation to Help you Live the Life of your, Dreams

Take some deep breaths and get into your core self. Get in touch with God, or source energy. Feel that connection, imagine yourself at a late age in life, maybe there's a beautiful window and you're looking out through the window.

  • You're on a comfortable couch and you're drinking your cocoa, your tea or your coffee and you're in your last days let’s say you're 95 years old. You look back at your life and you start to smile about all the people that you've met, and that you've connected with.
  • You look back and you're feeling wonderful and you're feeling grateful. You get Goosebumps of gratitude for this beautiful life. You start thinking about how beautiful it would be to just have one little moment to go back in time and just to experience life again, maybe 20 years ago to when you were 75. You start imagining what would it be like to go back to being a young whippersnapper of 75 years old. You ask yourself, was I living my, dream life, 20 years ago? If not, what would I change?
  • Then you go back 30 years ago to when you was 65 and you take some time there and ask the question. Was I living my, dream life? If the answer is no.
  • You go back 40 years when you was 55, and 50 years ago to when I was 45 and 60 years ago to when I was 35 and you start thinking about that and you say, what would I do if I had a little bit of time? What would I do differently to live the life of my, dreams.

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I'm very grateful for the time I've had here; but at the same time if I could go back,  I would be a little bit more courageous.  Would I tell that person that I loved them a little bit more.  I would go out of my comfort zone and try something new and creative. If I could go back, I would make sure I lived the life of my, dreams.  That would be so great and then you open your eyes and your wish has been granted and you get a second chance.

Myrna – Nice that's a different spin to the one that I know. I know the 85 year old rocking chair test.  What is the goal of it exercise?

Failure at living your, dream life.

Nathan – There are a few goals:

  1. One is obviously to get perspective,
  2. Another is continue to have a tool in your tool belt the ability to make tough decisions or to get yourself to do things that you know you should do; but you don't have the confidence to do.
  3. Take away the fear of taking risks
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Myrna – One of your tools is teaching people how to crack the code on their, dream life, and I know you're a financial person. Now, where is the code to finances? Is that has to do with abundance and scarcity? So talk about this cracking code on living your, dream life.

Cracking the code to financial abundance in your, dream life

Nathen – My life's mission is to come together with other people and continue to build and learn how to crack the code to living your, dream life, so I've cultivated a lot of wonderful tools.

One of these tools is network sharing. We get together and we do that. We crack the code, we continue to ask questions, great questions, create great answers and great solutions.

Being around people who are like-minded and who are maybe five steps ahead of you in certain areas and in other areas you're five steps ahead, is a great way that I've learned to just crack the code. The end of life meditation with the life design process that I teach basically allows you to start by first visualizing, then prioritizing and then planning.

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Visualizing your, Dream Life

Nathan – So visualizing is a really important step,  because when somebody just goes right into, visualizing the life of their, dreams, they might not know what it is they want to do.  I start off by asking them what they want to do with their life, what is their, dream life? But most people don't know what that is, we have to connect with God.

We have to connect with the Universe, source energy. I like to ask people some things they don't consider which is preferences and non-negotiables. Preferences and non-negotiables are basically the foundations of your, dream life.

  • What are your preferences in your day-to-day activities and in your day-to-day life?
  • Do you want to wake up whenever you want? Go to sleep whenever you want? Or do you want to have a boss that tells you what to do. Do you need structure?
  • Your preference is ‘No I can't have a boss’, I need to have my own schedule, do my own thing.
  • Some people’s preference is to travel the world, they want to be able to work from their laptop, other people are like – no I want to be in my home with my family, I don't care about travelling the world, as long as I have a stable income that's what matters to me.
  • So by knowing your preferences is important in visualizing your, dream life.
  • You prefer a certain kind of humor and like to be around people every day or you like to be by yourself.

 

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What's under the hood of your dream life.

Your non-negotiables may be your purpose.  The big, sparkly thing that you want to do like help everybody become successful and you becoming a successful coach, or a motivational speaker etc.

Those are the day-to-day things that are going to really help you thrive on a day-to-day basis, so getting really clear on those things is super important. Once you have Fantasized and done your preferences and non-negotiables, then you have a clear understanding of what you want your, dream life, to looks like.

Myrna – I know that you have a course  called Dream University. It's an online course and you say it's not like any other course. So tell our listeners about your Dream University and funding and how people can get resources and your course.

How to Plan Fund and Build your, Dream Life

Dream University is an online course that helps you plan fund and build your, dream life, and your dream business.  The process that I'm kind of talking about now is loosely related to that course.

The course basically step one is you say okay

  • ‘I'm going to take a step back from trying to be productive’ and ‘I'm going to figure my life out.
  • I'm going to take some breathing room and I'm going to say, what do I really want to be doing?
  • What's going to light me up inside?
  • What's going to make me feel great that when I am 95, I can look back on my, dream life, and I have those goose bumps and I feel amazing? I feel grateful and there are no regrets.

Once we we've really gotten clear on what it is we want from our, dream life, I have a one-page plan which is the idea of you. It's a one-page vision. If you take it and you put in your hands or you stick it on your wall or on your desk and you can point at it and say I don't know how I'm going to make this happen; but if I can make this happen.

I'll be the happiest person in the entire world. That's the idea, you have one page, you look at, you're like that's it, this page gives me the emotions that I want and I'm going for it, and in the process with all the tools I have, I'm going to strive to fully engage from full abundance and it will feel great.

How to get Funding for your, Dream Business

  • Step two is getting funding. Now the beauty of this is even if you don't need funding this is like from my perspective a much more robust version of a business plan, where you have something that is interactive, that you look at and you can use to get funding, basically called a pitch deck. I call it a fill in the blank funding template (which allows you to fill in every single aspect that you need to present a presentation to someone for funding) whether it be an investor grants or crowd funding as well.

This presentation, not only does it work to get you money for your personal expenses like your rent or your mortgage, your bills, your gas, your food, your groceries and so on. You can focus on what you love full-time; but also for your business expenses like if you need to hire people, if you need to buy gear or equipment, if you need to pay rent for a space whatever it is, it allows you to have all the things you need.

So you can work from a place of abundance or scarcity. This business plan is a step-by-step road map to your business goals and, dream life. There are some aspects like the financial aspects that you can use to decide. Do I need money? How much money do I need to live my specific lifestyle?

Some people want to live very simply, some people don't want to live very simply. They want to have all these special cool neat, unique things – all is great; but you can use it for two purposes. One for your personal life, two for your business life (get funding for your thing)

  • Step three is to grow and at that point it's just really about helping people get the right strategies for the things that they want to do. Reverse engineering what their end result is and finding out how they want to do that.

So in business, usually that means building the thing that is the most value that you can provide to the world and then finding where the human needs are. You want to serve humanity and tap into those audiences so that you can serve those people.

Myrna – Tell our audience how they can connect with you on online or to how to join your group or to order your course.

If you guys want to check out Dream University you can go to www.nathen.tv  Feel free to text me, my number is 310 807 1998.

Conclusion to building and funding your Dream Life

Thank you so much for tuning in to transform your mind, to transform your life radio hour and podcast as you see I bring you guests that can help you to transform your life. The first thing we need to start with is to visualize the life of your, dreams.  That starts in your head.  You can’t hold in your hand anything you don’t hold first in your head.

I want to give you a personal invitation to my Facebook Group called Life Coach. We have daily inspirations from me, coach Myrna  and from dozens of other coaches who can also help you stay inspired during the week. Please subscribe to the podcast here:

Your Subscription helps to reach a wider audience. You know, we want to help.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/secrets-thriving-not-just-surviving/

http://blog.myhelps.us/successful-but-unfulfilled-get-back-to-basics/

 

How Does Emotional Intelligence Affect Your Success In Life

emotional intelligence

If you do not take control of your,  emotional intelligence, and thoughts, they will repeat in cycles. We have over 70,000 thoughts per day and 90% of these thoughts repeat over and over. That is why people get stuck in life, reliving the past like Groundhog day.

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of people around you. There are five key elements to EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

Jenny R. Craig, LCSW, BCD is a, transformation, specialist, utilizing her expertise in assisting leaders in creating authentic, profound, long-lasting impact in their organizations and personal lives.

Emotional intelligence, is important because, Strategic planning,  does not kick in until the mid-twenties.

Also any huge trauma changes the way the brain works.

As a, transformation, coach we give our clients tools and techniques that can move them through the darkness of being stuck in rewind, and into the light. The light is to find out your true purpose and discover who you really are.

Emotional Intelligence, allows you to do the mental work in living a purposeful life.

Here are four traits of Emotional Intelligence:

* Self Awareness: Knowing what we are feeling and why we are feeling this way.

Self awareness definition: They said that self-awareness is the ability to look inward, think deeply about your behavior, and consider how it aligns with your moral standards and values. When your behavior is out of alignment with your standards, you feel uncomfortable, unhappy and negative.

* Self Management: Handling distressing emotions so that they don't cripple you. Self-management, which is also referred to as “self-control” or “self-regulation,” is the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations.

* Empathy: Knowing what someone else is feeling. Being capable of walking in another man's shoes. Empathy is generally described as the ability to take on another's perspective, to understand, feel and possibly share and respond to their experience. There are more definitions of empathy that include but is not limited to social, cognitive, and emotional processes primarily concerned with understanding others

* Skilled Relationships: There is not a better barometer of, emotional intelligence, than the quality of one's relationships. When you put the top three skills together, you will have quality and healthy relationships.

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What is Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence, refers, to the ability to identify and manage one’s own, emotions, as well as the, emotions, of others.

Emotional intelligence, is generally said to include at least three skills:

  • emotional awareness,
  • the ability to identify and name one’s own, emotions
  • the ability to harness those, emotions, and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving
  • the ability to manage, emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own, emotions, when necessary and helping others to do the same.

There is no validated, emotional intelligence test.

Test for, emotional intelligence, looks for the general intelligence factor—and many argue that, emotional intelligence, is therefore not an actual construct, but a way of describing interpersonal skills that go by other names.

Despite this criticism, the concept of, emotional intelligence, sometimes referred to as emotional quotient or EQ—has gained wide acceptance. In recent years, some employers have even incorporated, emotional intelligence tests, into their application and interview processes, on the theory that someone high in, emotional intelligence, would make a better leader or coworker.

Conclusion

I am grateful that you have tuned into this podcast from all around the world. I believe that the spirit of God has attracted you here so that you can receive the insights, revelations and knowledge revealed on this broadcast. Whatever you need for this day in your life you will receive. I can truly say that your life will never be the same because a brain that has been expanded with knowledge can never return to it's original size. I invite you to subscribe to this podcast so that you will receive new podcasts every week with more insights, revelations and knowledge so that you can live your best life now.

Visit me on the web at www.myrnayounghelps.com and sign up for a free strategy session.

Additional Resources 

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-apply-law-divine-oneness-to-life/

Surviving My Mothers Abandonment and Abuse

mother abandonment

Author Traci Thomas offers, reflection on her abandonment by her mother in her book, Reflection 4 Rejection. Traci answers the question how does rejection by a natural mother affect the child's self worth and self esteem for the rest of their life.

In her book  “Reflection 4 Rejection ” —Surviving A Mother's Abandonment And Abuse.” Traci Thomas shares her story and how she got to the other side.

Here is Traci's story:

On, reflection, I feel that, rejection, by your natural mother, it's such a unique, unusual, weird, inhumane space to be.   It nonetheless served such a  great purpose in my life, and what I mean by that is the following.  It's one of those preambles whereas once you have survived this type of, rejection, you pretty much can walk on water, and I mean that literally and figuratively.  It's one of those scenarios and situations very few people ever experience or understand.  When you suffer from, abandonment, you're in your own community and it's isolating; but yet you're so powerful at the same time.

With that being said once you overcome this, abandonment,  and it is a challenge, it's a lot to muddle through.  However, once you get through it, and you're on the other side, there's nothing you can't do.  So in my situation, it's like a head of bipartisan.  I had two scenarios, two lives coexisting at one time.  I had a father who had full custody of me at three years old.  That's when my natural, mother, and my dad were divorced back in 1968.  I was born in 1965, that was unheard of within the United States.  Very few fathers gained custody of their children or their child, so that in itself is a profound statement.  That also shows you how little fight my natural, mother, put up to keep me.

I do remember one particular time my, mother,  did quote, unquote kidnap me.  She did take me when I got off the school bus when I was in kindergarten, and she took me to Philadelphia and thank God my father and the FBI came and rescued me. But even when she's so-called put forth some effort, to show that she wanted me, it was still a situation where I was locked up in a room, there were German Shepherds downstairs and the FBI had to come and get me.  She never really exemplified that she wanted me; but that's okay and that's what I explained in the book.  It's perfectly okay, because I define what, abandonment, is.  It's a supernatural definition.  I actually give you, hind sights, definitions, elaborations and explanations as to what's going on.  What's happening, why your natural, mother, abandoned, you.  It took me 50 years to figure it out, which is sad, but at least I figured it out.

 

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What does Abandonment Issues Mean?

Wikipedia says that, abandonment issues, causes Abandoned child Syndrome.

  • Abandoned child syndrome is a proposed behavioral or psychological condition that results primarily from the loss of one or both parents or sexual abuse.
  • Abandonment issues, may stem from  physical (the parent is not present in the child's life) or emotional (the parent withholds affection, nurturing, or stimulation). The abandoned child syndrome is not recognized as a mental illness.
  • Mothers, who leave their children, or when a parent is alienated from their children by the other parent (after a bitter divorce, DCHS, or foster care), can cause psychological damage to the child. This damage is reversible, but only with appropriate assistance.  Abandoned children may also often suffer physical damage from, rejection, malnutrition, starvation, and abuse.

I want to comment on something you said that's a little different from my normal association with, abandonment, you said it took you about 50 years to get to the other side and it was very isolating; but once you got to the other side you felt like you could walk on water.  Which is a very positive spin on, abandonment, because if you were to take a survey of the, child abandonment, community you will find that most kids end up having a lot of self-esteem issues, they don't think they're good enough.

When you feel, abandoned, it's not your imagination.  When you make every effort imaginable to connect or contact your natural mother and every single attempt, every single effort, every single expendable energy that you put forth, the end result is just this repellent. It's this, rejection, of your natural, mother, not wanting you or your natural, mother, treating you as if you're a bill collector. Your natural, mother, is literally tolerating you and can't wait to get you off the phone.  When you're in a scenario like that again and again, it’s so bizarre.

Podcast interview Questions: Reflection, 4, Rejection

What was your Objective in writing “Reflection 4 Rejection ” —Surviving A Mother's , Abandonment, And Abuse.?

On, reflection, once you've been in a situation where you've made every effort and did somersaults, headstands, back-flips,  anything you can think of to connect with your natural mother, and every single attempt is unproductive and counterproductive.  It's toxic, and it's unhealthy, because of the way that you feel afterwards.  You literally feel as if you've been punched in the stomach with every single attempt to get the love of your, mother.

You're in tears and you're shaking, and you have anxiety, and then you go through life thinking that you've got to kiss every behind in the universe.  You have this feeling of inadequacy this feeling of I'm not good enough, there's something wrong with me. That's why I wrote the book, because I do not want another human being going through five decades of what I went through. That's why I engineered and composed the book.

My objective in writing the book, is for someone to have an open mind and instead of going through life telling themselves, my own, mother, didn't want me. Even though that is true, instead they can tell themselves that they have every right and privilege to not want her either.

Power is something you take, nobody gives you power.  You snatch power.

So what I wish to do with this work, with this writing,  is to allow an individual to look at being, abandoned,  in hindsight. Let's  really look at it and put an autopsy and microscope on, abandonment, for a second.  If you really do this it's not hard at all, you won't have to go through all these dog and pony shows and tail spins.   Kissing this one's tail, and doing back flips for this person, and making your, mother,  love you, trying to buy this person,  begging for love, please love me, please like me.  You don't have to go through all of those mental gymnastics. It's not necessary. I'm trying to save somebody 50 years.

Abandonment, from Relationships

Can this scenario be also transferred to people who are, rejected,  period?  I mean because, rejection, and being, abandoned,  are not only synonymous with, mothers, or parents.  Men can reject you, your friends can reject you,  jobs can fire you.  Is this information transferable?

I placed a laser focus on this particular relationship between a  child and a natural, mother.  This ironically is not, rejection,  and if you read the book you'll totally comprehend what I'm speaking about.  The natural, mother, is not rejecting you, the natural, mother, is rejecting the reminder of neglecting you.  The natural, mother, doesn't even know you.  How can somebody reject you when they don't even know you?  That makes absolutely no sense.

I've seen that the trauma that it is caused in young  lives and almost every aspect of being , abandoned, or, rejection. So it's kind of good to tell yourself that your natural, mother, didn't reject you because she doesn’t know you.  If you actually do believe that I can understand that it is easier to get to the other side.  That's good, I like that spin.

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What is the main message of your book Reflection for Rejection?

I wrote the book to give some insight to, child abandonment.

What message would you give to that listener of why they should go out and buy the book?

It would be in their best interest even if they don't get the book, if they just listened to the podcast, because it summarizes the book.  It's their prerogative if they wish to purchase it or not.  I mean that's their choice; but with that being said.

Don't ever allow another person, place or thing to define your self-worth.  Don't do that. Don't ever give someone that opportunity or luxury.

I know you talked about your natural mother not  really rejecting you because she didn't know you; but did you touch on psychologically what was happening to her for her to have that unnatural response to her biological daughter?

My father, God bless his soul, was extremely intimidating.  He was a very wealthy, powerful, articulate, worldly man. He traveled a lot because he was a computer programmer, so he was extremely I guess very controlling.  So I give my, mother, an inkling of understanding, because he was pretty much a womanizer.

I'm not giving her a full 24-hour pass, but I am giving her an hour pass.  I can't really give her a full 24-hour pass, because there are, mothers,  who have gone through the same episode and they didn't react that way.

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Abuse and Abandonment

  • One of the things that I noticed talking with you Traci is that I see no evidence of PTSD from being, abandoned, by your, mother. Post traumatic stress disorder in teenage girls, usually develops for girls who have been sexually abused, neglected, or abandoned. You said that every time you tried it to communicate with your mom, or tried to make her love you, or tried to form a relationship; you felt like you got punched in the stomach.  At those times were you ever angry?

What's so interesting is that I got angry at the end.  Like right in the last year. My book goes in chronological order. In the book, I actually highlight the events that have occurred during the last five decades, and what's so flabbergasting to me is  that I didn't get angry and livid until the very end.  I wasn't angry at her, I was angry at me for participating.  I was so livid at myself for wasting so much time, that it took me decades to come down from the humiliation, the frustration,  the hurt, the pain, the disappointment,  the monotony, and the redundancy.

Getting to the other side, puts you in a disposition where you're at total complete peace. I call it a, mother, transplant because once you realize why she acts the way she does, once that clicks in your brain, a light bulb goes off and you're free.

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How did you handle Rejection and Reflection?

When you read the book  you'll completely understand what's going on and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Your, mother, didn't reject you, she can't reject you because she doesn't know you.

Yes, I understand what you're saying.  After you become immune to the, rejection, and you get on the other side of, abandonment, when you get to the other side,  you feel empowered like you can walk on water.  Nobody else has the capability of hurting you.

Childhood trauma and, abandonment, affects children  in many ways.

Childhood trauma, #1
1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there’s also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder,
spending or gambling, workaholics etc. There’s 11 addictive behaviors.

Childhood trauma, #2

2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and
yelling at each other? The typical is yelling screaming but
this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like
“you’ll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.

Childhood trauma, #3

3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for
long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let’s say they
came home from school at 3 o’clock and mom if they’re in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours. There’s anxiety around that.
So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we’re out trying to support our
kids there home alone.

Childhood trauma, #4

4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – The rape or Molestation could have happened
in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than
the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools
we’re supposed to teach our child another way. If you’re beating them or hitting them you’re teaching them to be violent back. We don’t want to do that.

Childhood trauma, #5

5. Abandonment – There’s two types, childhood trauma from, abandonment. Fault and No Fault, abandonment.
Here are three examples of no-fault, abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24

Here is an example of “Fault”, abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home
and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new
girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.

Childhood trauma, #6

6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to
live with relatives because mom or dad couldn’t take care of you, that even
includes Grandma’s, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn’t
want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was
always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn’t want to go home.

Childhood trauma, #7

7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not
fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky.
Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.

http://blog.myhelps.us/confidence/

Childhood trauma, #8

8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a
medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time.
Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you
perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful
or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I’m
worthwhile too.

Childhood trauma, #9

9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved
a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years.
Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that’s all
family trauma and community trauma.
Today we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass
Shootings.

http://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/

Childhood trauma, #10

10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities.
We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma.
Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they
act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or
the repercussions.
Two examples of sociopaths are Steve Jobs and Tiger woods.

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Additional Resources 

Uninvolved parenting, sometimes referred to as neglectful parenting, is a style characterized by a lack of responsiveness to a child's needs. Uninvolved parents make few to no demands of their children and they are often indifferent, dismissive, or even completely neglectful.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-uninvolved-parenting-2794958

Child abuse happens when a parent or care giver of a minor child allows, inflicts or permits physical or sexual abuse or allows a situation where there is a risk of physical injury. Child neglect means a minor child lacks adequate care and is danger of physical or psychological harm.

https://www.divorcesource.com/ds/children/abuse-and-neglect-to-children-in-a-divorce-261.shtml

How to Build Wealth By Clearing Money Blocks

How to build wealth by removing your money blocks

How to build wealth, by clearing your money blocks.  Money blocks are negative subconscious beliefs about, money, that limit you from achieving your conscious desires. Hilary Hendershott, wealth coach talks today on the Transform Your Mind Radio and Podcast on the topic  “How to build wealth, by remove your, money blocks.” Hilary was once $600,000 in depth and now has a seven figure net worth

Listen to the full interview here:

Hilary – I found myself in my late 20s with multiple credit cards and  tens of  thousands of credit card debt, plus I had a $420,000 in mortgage debt on a condo.  In 2008 that  condo in San Jose California went from $430,000 in appraised value to just $190,000.  I had massive uncollateralized debt, $72,000 in tuition debt and I was the kind of person who would spend money before it came in!  I was a massive over spender.

Back then I had never heard the term, Money Blocks. Today as a coach and operating from my own, money blocks, I understand that I was an over spender because I had, money blocks.  

The definition of, Money Blocks

The definition  money blocks: negative subconscious beliefs about, money, that limit you from achieving your conscious desires. Let's say you're trying to save, money, but, for whatever reason, you can't seem to do it. You spend, money, almost as soon as you get it, and you don't know why.

Hilary – I started gaining clarity on my, money blocks, the  day I pulled my leased BMW into the gas station and I put my credit card into the machine to get gas, and my credit card was declined. I tried another card, it was declined, I put the third card it was also declined. At that point, all my credit cards are maxed out and  no one would give me any more credit cards.

My bank accounts were empty and had already emptied out my 401k. I had spent all this good money chasing after bad  while trying to dig myself out of this hole; because as my income was declining in 2008, and my debt was increasing.  So I literally couldn't even put a tank of gas in my beautiful convertible BMW that day.

How I became an expert on clearing, money blocks

Hilary – I decided to become an expert on, money, psychology. I really made a decision that day and I said “I‘m not willing to live like this anymore”. I understood, how to build wealth, from the beginning. I understood that our, money blocks,  are as much a function of linguistics,  the words that we use to describe, money, than it is about our upbringing.  

So, when I said “there's never enough money” I was speaking it into the atmosphere. That became a self fulfilling  prophesy.  There's never enough money was my, money operating system. I trademarked this term, Money Operating System.  Just like your computer has an operating system, we all have a, money operating system.  That is sort of another way  of saying, money blocks. 

How money blocks are formed

As a child we hear adult say: 
  • money, doesn't grow on trees,
  • you have to work hard for, money
  • money, is the root of all evil
  • Money, is evil and rich people are greedy.
  • I wonder who she had to screw to get that job.
  • You see your parents fight about, money, all the time.

 Whatever it is, everyone will have a different set of, money blocks; because not everyone has the same, money operating system.  

As a financial planner, I learnt, how to build wealth, through real estate investments. I actually had a six figure income; but spent more than I earned. 

How to build wealth to a six figure income

There was one year  I earned $120,000 in income and I spent $150,000.   I attended a talk at a Financial Planner Conference and this woman, who is now a personal friend of mine,  talked about, money blocks, and,  money, psychology.  She used the term over spender”. I had never heard about, money blocks,  before that talk. Being an over-spender is one way to manifest, there is never enough money. 

Another way you can manifest, there's never enough money, is by being an, under earner. There are some of you listening to this podcast; you just can't seem to earn what you know you're worth in the marketplace. You are actually sabotaging yourself

  • You deliberately pick the jobs that are under earning.  
  • You under promote yourself,
  • You don't ask for raises,
  • You get contract gigs and spend six months unemployed.
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Hilary – To make a long story short, I put what I learned into practice I paid off all my debt and then  I got really honest and transparent about where I was financially.

I lived in my mother's guest room for a while to make it happen. I lost that condo and I paid off the debt. I started putting my money where my mouth was in terms of building my business.  I now run a registered investment advisory firm. We are all women, owned and operated.  

My business earns about a million dollars a year. My husband and I just share the numbers; because I want to normalize people talking about, money. My husband and I have a house in Silicon Valley that's worth two million dollars and if you put together all of our other investments, we're definitely what you would call financially independent. We have, financial freedom. 

How to Build Wealth: Have your, money work for you.

How to build wealth, from having no money. Now we have, money, work for us; but it's a skill set that I didn't always have. I have found out that my purpose on this planet is to coach people, especially entrepreneurs. For those people who run businesses, the sky is the limit for them to remove their, money blocks, wherever they may be. 

I figured it out. I sort of put myself in, money, boot camp. I didn't buy a cup of coffee in a coffee shop for two years. When I was in boot camp, I got very conscious about what I was saying about, money.  I now use linguistics as the foundation of my coaching.  Anyone I coach, the first thing we do is remove  I can't afford that.” from our vocabulary. 

Those words are not allowed to come out of your mouth. You either say “Oh great, let me see how I can work that out or  “I‘m going to put that in my spending plan.”

Myrna – That's awesome. Your language about, money,  is very powerful. Let's talk about, money mindset block.   My audience on the radio are mostly African American and  sometimes they are in the poverty space.  Our community  is predisposed  to over spending.  We want the nice things, we want the designer shoes and bags.

I was talking to a guy one day, he was wearing nice running shoes and he said they were Kanye West shoes and cost $400. I couldn't help thinking  what was his, money mindset, to spend $400 on Kanye West running shoes? 

What is a Money Mindset Block

Myrna – What exactly is a, money mindset block, and how does that show itself for somebody that's looking at their spouse and saying maybe they have a, money mindset block?

Hilary – First of all, the idea of the, money operating system, is the lead, money block. For me it was there's never enough money and so all my, money blocks, are going to harmonize with that particular lead, money block. For example, let me just say each individual is different and I don't mean to answer questions for someone who isn't even here;  but let's take the example of the person who spent $400 on Kanye West running shoes and maybe can't pay rent, so there's an imbalance there.

If you ask that person why he spent $400 on running shoes, he might say:

  •  I need to have this to be socially accepted,
  • I need these shoes so that people can think I‘m wealthy,
  • I need to have these shoes,  so that people can think I‘m powerful. 
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Then you would ask the question.

  • Well, do you have those things?
  • What do people think about you?
  • Have you achieved this goal?
  • Is that desire fulfilled for you?

And if you really look, it's probably not because we need another pair of shoes or another designer bag or any other another brand name to become socially acceptable.  It's an infallible hole that you can't fill with designer shoes. Instead, if you can reposition in your mind,  if you're really tired of your, money, going the way that it's going, if you're sort of fed up and a little bit disgusted with the fact that you know you're a smart capable educated, well-intentioned person and money isn't working for you in your life, this is, how to build wealth, you clear your, money mindset block. 

What are your 7 steps to  build wealth?

Myrna – You have 7 steps to, wealth, is that how you coach someone that maybe have an overspending problem or they have a, money mindset block, problem or their, money operating system, is not working properly? 

Step 1- Permission: All effective coaching starts with permission. The first step is to decide you have, money blocks,  to make the decision that you're ready for change.  There's no denying that you're giving up the Kanye West shoes and the brand name bags and other creature comforts. A lot of people who make financial transformation to, build wealth, find that they have to move.

They actually need a lower cost place to live; they need to give up the beautiful leased car so they can pay cash for a car and don't have monthly payments.  You are lowering your standard of living in the beginning and that takes courage. It takes willingness to sacrifice, so after you've made a decision then we catalog your vocabulary about money, this is really important.

Step 2–  Your money vocabulary –  no one ever wants to talk about, money.  You need to talk about money, to find out what your friend is doing; what's working, what's not working. You can provide advice or ask for advice if you want. What do you say to yourself about, money? Maybe some people think in pictures about, money, or maybe it's just an emotion.  You think about spending, money, and you get excited; you think about saving, money,  and you get sad.

I have my participants that I coach,  actually spend a month doing a, money, conversation log. What do you say to your partner about, money? How do you tell your customers about, money? For example, if you're a real estate agent and someone wants to pay you a four percent commission instead of a six percent commission, what do you say? What are the actual words that are coming out of your mouth?

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Building Wealth with Money Map

So, let's get specific about what you say about, money. We've got a, money map, we've actually got kind of your, money blocks, in black and white in front of us.

Now, we can really start the coaching. So, we have sort of highlighted and done the private detective work figuring out, what’s your actual, money blocks.

I‘ll give you an example, someone I coached found this counter intuitively. She felt rich when checks would get mailed to her, so she would put the checks in her desk and not send them to the bank. Isn't that strange? I can't even identify that block, that is like a serious, money, scarcity thing.

Myrna –  Did she not know the checks are only paper unless you get the, money?

Hilary – No. It was completely just something she was blind to, until we did the, money, conversation log and she saw it.

She saw it for what it was and she's like oh my God, this is crazy behavior; but no one's ever asked me about my, money, behavior, so I never thought about it.

Step 3 –  logistics of money I don't teach budgets, I think budgets are overwhelming and too detailed for most people. I think that people spend a lot of time designing a budget and then they never honor it or live by it, because it's too restrictive .

Step 4 – Earn money – You can't categorize every single expenditure you have, you're a busy person with lots of responsibilities.  So instead, I teach a system I call automation. It's sort of like the equivalent of irrigation in your garden little hoses bring, money, to the places where it needs to be.  People love it. 

  • you pay yourself first,
  • you pay your overhead
  • you save for your short-term goalsmaybe your next car 
  • you save for your financial independence first.
  • Then what's left over, You spend from one account and that way when that account gets to zero, you're not at zero, your money goals are already funded.

That's the plan and honestly most people get through the plan because it's very front-loaded. It is a lot of work in the beginning; but once you set it up, just like irrigation, it happens every time you turn the hose on. People pay a lot of, money, to coaches to figure out how to earn money and they can't figure out why their, money, still doesn't work for them and it's because they don't have these steps.

Step 5 – The ASK mindset –  Learning to ask is a  mindsetYou can ask for a million things :

  •  you can ask your credit cards companies for a lower interest rate,
  • you can ask your insurance for a lower premium,
  • you can ask your memberships for a discount.
  • You can ask  for a discount at Star BuckJust go askThe point is not whether you get the discount or not, it's having the mindset to ASK. We do a challenge inside my coaching program called “Get 100 No's  You win the game by getting a hundred no's and my assertion is, It will change your life. You're building strength your, money blocks, are going to be different. For someyou'll find that your, money blocks, are operationally systematized in your business processes.

Step 6 – Clearing the, money blocks.  in your business –  As an entrepreneur you're either under charging for your products or services or you're not spending enough effort getting prospects into your funnel. Whatever it is, there's some part of the process that's broken for youMy training is called “Eight Ways Business Owners can Transform Revenue into Personal Wealth, it is anon-demand training from October 8th to 15th.

So, you definitely want to go grab it.  This training is really for entrepreneurs who are sick and tired of working so hard for the, money, and having not much to show for it.

Step 7 – Protect – Once you clear your, money blocks, you can, build wealth, by protecting what you built.

I just want to show you how to climb out of that trap in this training and the great news is it's totally FREE

I want to encourage you, please subscribe to the Transform Your Mind’ YouTube podcast’s channelDefinitely trying to grow our audience. 

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Additional Resources 

http://blog.myhelps.us/rich-wealthy-9010-rule/

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-survive-an-economic-collapse/

 

What are the Symptoms of Adult ADHD?

adult adhd symptoms

We most often associate, ADHD, with children; but statistics show that 60% of childhood, ADHD, transforms to, adult ADHD.

We as have seen or been parents to the child who never stops or sits down.

In addition to never sitting down they are also:

Symptoms of Childhood, ADHD

  • Are impulsive
  • Have trouble focusing
  • Have trouble managing their emotions
  • Have difficulty remembering information
  • Don’t start tasks (or don’t finish them)

So how does it feel to be in a relationship with someone with, adult ADHD?

Here is one woman’s story af adult adhd

I dated 4 men with, adult ADHD, or ADD.  One was predominantly hyperactive; two inattentive, one likely mixed. I fall under the vagueness of “mixed” myself, which means I show characteristics of hyperactivity — the impulsiveness, the occasional non-stop talk, the rash decisions — and inattention: the fuzziness, the daydreaming, the drifting off mid-conversation.

I learned the, ADHD, tricks early on like, touching him when I needed his attention and he was working. I learned to move my fingers from his face to mine — the universal signal for eye contact — when he began to drift off.

The two inattentive men,  naturally tended toward household chaos, an inability to finish projects, and a desperate need for legal stimulants.

Understanding is the key to calming the chaos in the relationship.

 

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Adult ADHD symptoms

I'm curious about, Adult ADHD symptoms. Does kids with, ADHD,  become adults with, adult ADHD?

For clarity let's make sure people understand the acronym for, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Individuals can have, attention deficit disorder, without the hyperactivity and that disorder is ADD.  Things to keep in mind about, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or, Adult ADHD,  is that, yes you can have, ADHD, in  childhood and about 60% of kids grow up still having the same symptoms and become, adult ADHD. One of the interesting pieces about this is that it's important for folks not to misconstrued information about what they're seeing the adult exhibit.  Certain characteristics of, Adult ADHD, can mimic other disorders like for example Thyroid disease.

Does the 40% of kids who don’t have, adult ADHD, become cured?

Not necessarily , they could have developed coping skills to manage the, ADHD, behavior so the symptoms were minimized. They could have also learned strategies on how to behave or how to compensate for the symptoms.

What are the different types of, Adult ADHD?

When you look at the diagnostic and statistical manual that psychologists use.  It gives you  clarity on how, Adult ADHD, is diagnosed.  There are different types 3 types of symptoms that we see in, ADHD.

  1. Inattention
  2. Impulse Control
  3. Hyperactivity

We have to go through the process and can’t have people diagnosing themselves or their children or anyone else with the disorder. Sometimes you have symptoms because people don't have appropriate amounts of minerals in their body or they might be subject to low levels of magnesium.  Things like that or people might have other diseases that might mimic, ADHD symptoms, so get these things ruled out with blood work.

ADHD in adults could mean you have an, ADHD, partner.

Here is what happening in their brain. What exactly is happening in the brain to cause someone to develop symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder?

 

The Adult ADHD brain has impaired activity in four functional regions of the brain.

  • Frontal Cortex. This region controls high-level functions: …
  • Limbic System. This region is located deeper in the brain. …
  • Basal Ganglia. …
  • Reticular Activating System.

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Adult ADHD test

To test for, adult ADHD, one has to look at the functions of the brain. The neurotransmitter in the brain is affected in ADHD. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for how we organize our cognitive flexibility and being able to control ourselves and things that come into our frame of reference.

The Basal Ganglia helps to regulate communication within the brain, sending signals from one neuron to the other and is responsible for our motor control movement.  The Basal Ganglia is also responsible for regulating emotional volatility and the Reticular Activating System is our major relay system.  It controls the many pathways that enter and leave the brain and is responsible for arousal and consciousness.

Dr Gray who is the author of Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus wrote an article in which he claims that men with, Adult ADHD, have problems committing to women because of the disorder. Do you agree with that statement?

No, not at all.  I think there are other reasons that men can’t commit to women. Dr Gray is trying to give these men a pass.  I would love to see his research.

Does, ADHD, medications cure the disorder?

Medications for, ADHD, are non-stimulant and stimulant meds depending on what the individual the parents would choose. I always think of other Alternatives besides the use of pharmaceuticals.  I would rather use in a non-medication treatment or neuro feedback to help with symptoms of, ADHD. Bio feedback can cure the disorder, medication just masks or controls but never cures.

if you give anyone who clearly has, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, medication for 6 months and the other Bio Feedback for 6 months, you will see the difference in the treatment results.

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Does internet pornography rewire men’s brain to have, Adult ADHD?

I came across an article from Dr Gray and he was specifically talking about men who develop, Adult ADHD, because of pornography. He said pornography is re wiring men’s brain and causing them to develop, ADHD.  He said pornography also blocks love and connection with their partner.

https://wellnessforce.com/dr-john-gray-adhd-brain-health-sex-addiction/

 

Shocking Facts About ADHD

  • One out of ten American children have been diagnosed with ADHD,
  • One out of seven American women over 55 will develop dementia,
  • Statistics reveal a greater risk of ADHD in children of divorced parents, particularly when boys are missing the regular influence of their fathers or their mothers are unable to find happiness

 

Additional Resources Adult ADHD

http://blog.myhelps.us/understanding-mental-illness-my-bipolar-life/

How to Disable your Autopilot Brain

Dealing with Anxiety Disorder after Addiction

https://www.verywellmind.com/add-and-attention-deficit-disorders-2161810#:~:text=Attention%20deficit%20disorder%20(ADD)%20is,completing%20tasks%20and%20social%20interaction.