How to Manage Compulsive Behaviors

compulsive behaviors eg. compulsive eating

Millions of people suffer from at least one of the, compulsive behaviors, Compulsive shopping, Compulsive eating, Hoarding, Compulsive sexual behavior.

—often, even when the individual wishes they could stop—despite the fact that the act triggers negative outcomes, leads to interpersonal conflicts, or damages mental health.

Listen to full interview here: 

Introduction to Compulsive Behaviors

Common activities that can develop into compulsions include, compulsive  shopping, hoarding, eating, gambling, sex, and exercise. Though some behaviors are easier to over-indulge in than others, in reality, nearly any behavior has the potential of becoming a, compulsive behavior. Some people even talk compulsively, for instance.

Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes
Download on iTunes

There are also obsessive compulsive disorder, in which a compulsive person performs certain behaviors to relieve underlying anxiety or other negative emotions. A well-known example is a person who checks and rechecks everything—if the stove is turned off, for instance, or if the door is locked.

These behaviors rarely decrease anxiety in the long run; in most cases, they only provide temporary relief. In extreme cases, compulsive behaviors start to take over the person's work, home, and social life, at the expense of normal activities.

Sponsored AD

Attention Real estate investors and entrepreneurs. Did you know that real estate investors are a primary target for lawsuits? According to the National Survey of the Court Data, 25% of Americans risk being sued in their lifetime. However, if you are a real estate investor, you have a 95% chance of being sued in the next 20 years! Leafy Legal Services helps you protect your assets and strategically grow your business and wealth. We are experts at the Series LLC and Delaware Statutory Trust, two of the newest and most ideal legal structures for real estate investors.

We have the most personalized and affordable solutions for setting up LLC's. Property owners are always at risk when it comes to their assets and anonymity is so important. If you own just a rental house and you own your own home you have to protect yourself and your properties from any potential legal issues. We have the right solutions to make sure you are happy and feel secure. They offer cost effective documentation that suits their client’s needs. For a free consultation and eBook visit.

Website: https://www.LeafyLegalservices.com | Phone: (409) 761-1671

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

How are Compulsive Behaviors and addictions connected?

Compulsive behaviors, have a genetic effect and are often seen in identical twins. I know 17 year old identical twin girls who came into the foster care system at 4 years old and have had trauma. I attributed their, compulsive behaviors, to genes from their biological parents and environment from their early years in foster care. They started, compulsive behaviors, like stealing  from about 5 years old, as they grew older that transformed into, compulsive shoplifting, then they started running away and couldn't stop, now they are compulsively, hoarding.

Compulsion behaviors,  often arise after stressful events, trauma, or abuse as we have seen in our study of addictions. When people engage in, compulsive behaviors, they become trapped in a pattern of repetitive actions or senseless thinking from which it can be difficult to break free.

Treatment is often key for overcoming, compulsive behaviors.

Sponsored AD

Have you ever run out of gas on a deserted road with no cell service? Or got lost on a solo-trip hiking trip?
IamCanary is your answer. When you travel, you deserve the peace of mind.
IamCanary.com will send a digital message, when you can’t do it yourself.
This service can also be vital if something happens where there is a cell phone signal, but the person can't call for help themselves because they have lost consciousness, seriously injured, or other reasons.
I amcanary will send alerts to family members, local professionals or emergency services
A simple membership plan is free, and with it, you are never completely out of touch. So join today, and feel safe to adventure worry-free, with IamCanary.com

How does normal behavior turn into,  Compulsive Behaviors?

As far as the brain is concerned our rewards are reward important,  so regardless of whether it comes from a chemical or an experience and you know that there's a
reward and people who indulge in , compulsive behaviors,  like gambling,  eating,  sex, and shopping,  become trapped in the reward system of dopamine.

Types of Compulsive Behaviors

Compulsive behaviors, come in many forms, all of which can be quite debilitating or even dangerous.

Hoarding, for instance, are those who are unable to part with even the most worthless possessions. Many hoarders find the act of purging so distressful that they live under extremely crowded and potentially harmful conditions.

  • Compulsive shopping,
  • Compulsive eating
  • Over exercising
  • Hoarding
  • Compulsive cleaning

Compulsive Hoarding,   is a psychiatric disorder which involves the accumulation of personal possessions to the point at which these accumulations interfere with your quality of life to a significant degree. The acquisition of “things” and failure to throw away unneeded objects can result in only mild symptoms of a cluttered home to a home which is too unsanitary for healthy living. At the current time, it's thought that between two and six percent of the population is living with some degree of hoarding disorder.

  • Compulsively taking selfies and posting on social media
  • Compulsive sexual behavior or sexual addiction

What negative triggers enable Compulsive Behaviors like Hoarding.

The brain tricks us into thinking that we need the reward so we perform the, compulsive behavior, to re up the Dopamine
I know that as humans we move towards pleasure and away from pain. In my role as parent with kids who have, compulsive behaviors. These behaviors are cemented because they engage the reward centers of the brain.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

How does one break that reward system for, Compulsive Behaviors?

Don’t wait until sexual temptation attacks you before you see it as a formidable force which seeks to destroy you. Its insidious tactic is designed to enslave you into sexual sins and keep you locked into erotic desires. How you perceive sexual temptation in your life, determines how well you will overcome its deceitful force, and walk in total victory.

“Naked and Ashamed, the Battle of Sexual Temptation.” is a Christian self-help book that explains what sexual temptation is, and gives you Biblical scriptures on how to control your sexual desires, and unnatural urges.  With chapters such as recognizing the tempter, and rejecting the flesh, you will study strategies on how to recognize situations that tempts you, and learn how to keep your flesh under subjection. Although we will all be tempted sexually at some time, we can learn from this book on how to refrain from overreacting and falling into sexual bondage. So put on your seatbelt and get ready to be free from all of your unwanted sexual desires and temptations.  Order “Naked and Ashamed, The Battle of Sexual Temptation” today! Written by Sheela Fields, now available on Amazon.

Sex Addiction Treatment

Let’s look at, compulsive sexual behavior, or sexual addiction. Sexual addiction, is represented by, compulsive behavior,  in commonly available sexual practices, such as

  • Attending strip clubs,
  • Compulsive masturbation,
  • Paying for sex through prostitution,
  • Excessive use of pornography,
  • and repeated engagement in extramarital affairs.

Compulsive sexual behavior, otherwise known as sexual addiction, is an emerging psychiatric disorder that has significant medical and psychiatric consequences. Until recently, very little empirical data existed to explain the biological, psychological, and social risk factors that contribute to this condition. In addition, clinical issues, such as the natural course and best practices on treating sexual addictions, have not been formalized. Despite this absence, the number of patients and communities requesting assistance with this problem remains significant. This article will review the clinical features of compulsive sexual behavior and will summarize the current evidence for psychological and pharmacological treatment.

Dr Ahia What forms of, Sex Addiction Treatment, would you administer to someone suffering from, compulsive sexual addiction?

Sponsored AD

Book: Seat at the table

Have you ever wished that you had the information to elevate the conversation at work on how to build a culture of diversity, equity and inclusion?  Well, now you do; with my newly published book A Seat At The Table or Part of the Meal, by Kimberly Bussey Lewis.  This book will give you examples of intentional efforts that will level the playing field and yield dividends for your career and your company. The book can be found on Amazon – A Seat at the Table Or Part of the Meal, by Kimberly Bussey Lewis or on www.motivationalmuse.com, so get your copy today and your seat at the table.

How would you treat a youth that had the compulsion for taking selfies or even shoplifting?

Additional Resources for, Compulsive Behaviors

http://blog.myhelps.us/childhood-sexual-trauma-and-addiction/

http://blog.myhelps.us/drug-alcohol-treatments-women-with-trauma/

http://blog.myhelps.us/call-me-an-addict-child-abuse-statistics-p3/

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/childabuseandneglect/acestudy/index.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Healing Childhood Traumas with LOVE

Healing childhood trauma with LOVE

When we have, childhood traumas, our natural responses are shut down. We are not able to fight or flee.  This activates our, stress hormones. It changes our body and puts us into a sympathetic state, to ready us to  fight, flight or freeze; but when we can't, when we're impaired, we have to stay frozen in that situation.

Our body's, stress response, does not shut off. Our hormones continue to be elevated. And so, what happens over time, if we are constantly experiencing that stress over and over, it changes our biology.

In this episode Mandy Harvey shares her, LOVE Methodology, to help us return to the parasympathetic state.

Download the podcast here:

https://2.gum.fm/https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/https://verifi.podscribe.com/rss/p/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/12706911-healing-childhood-trauma-with-love.mp3?download=true

Mandy's childhood trauma

Myrna: How did you get into coaching?

Mandy: I got into this work because of my own trauma and my own healing process. I grew up in trauma.  I was just kind of born into it. I grew up in a home with a single mother who had her own traumas, and as a result that affected my experience with the world. She sometimes was there and sometimes she wasn't. There wasn't always love.

She often had men in the house that were very abusive and that abuse was often directed towards me. She remarried a couple of times in my childhood, but at the age of 14, she and the man that she was married to, took their lives, and it was a result of me coming forward sharing with a counselor at school what had been going on in my home as it related to sexual abuse, and emotional abuse.

Myrna: Wow. Similar to my story,

Mandy: So, my whole world instantly changed. I was placed in a home with family members, and, still kind of grew up with family, but I was very deeply affected as you can imagine by that experience. That was the start of therapy for me. And I spent a couple of years in therapy doing, EMDR therapy, work. Really processing the grief, and the guilt, because I felt very guilty.

Myrna; It was just about to ask you that but was gonna wait for you to finish. But yeah, I mean, gosh, that's huge guilt.

Sponsored AD

Gamers Level up without emptying your wallet. Get Mundus gaming at half price. Our secret shared accounts save big on PlayStation, Xbox and Nintendo Switch games.

Use radio10 for 10% off.

24/7 support and Lifetime Guarantee.

Game confidently at Mundusgaming.com 

mundus gaming
mundus gaming

Feeling guilty for telling

Mandy: I really took on the belief through that guilt, through that process, that I couldn't trust my intuition, that my ability to make a choice for myself would turn out into disaster. And I held that belief for a very long time, throughout my adult years. But as a child I was trying to navigate this guilt and hit a wall. At a certain point, I just couldn't talk about it anymore. My body started to ache. Every day I woke up in pain, physical pain, emotional pain, and I just started to get numb, and number and number and it was just like, I had no relation to the world anymore.

All I could see was this grief. It felt like I was being sucked down into this black hole.  All I could see and feel was just guilt, this pain of suffering, this thought of I just want to be back with my mom, even though it was traumatic, even though it was abusive and neglectful. That's all I knew. And for me that felt like love. As crazy as that sounds.

Myrna: How did you come up with the, LOVE methodology, as therapy.

Mandy: Well, it's something actually it wasn't, it wasn't named love. I named this after a year ago doing this work myself.

There was a moment when my daughter, my youngest daughter, she is someone who exudes emotion from one side of the scale to the other side of the scale from like pure bliss and joy to pure anger and rage. I mean, she has a wide spectrum. And anytime she was over in this rage part of her spectrum, I would get so uncomfortable.

One day she was in a moment of pure temper tantrum screaming she was really mad about something insignificant. And I had my back to her and I was washing the dishes and I could feel like a wave of heat moving through my body. And as I was getting higher and higher,  I could feel the rage. Like I could feel my jaw gets super tight, like, oh my god, I could just scream at her right now. Like she needs to shut up.

And I'm washing the dishes trying to ignore her. And she's just letting loose and finally I turned around, I had a glass in my hand and I threw it at her feet and I said :SHUT UP” she was shocked. That was the first time I'd ever screamed at her. And the look on her face was just fear.

Sponsored AD

Journy: Life Goals & Self-Care app is a personal growth and self-care app that helps you create goals and track your progress.  Journy provides a daily devotional with educational and inspirational content. Journy allows you to save goals and use Affirmation Meditations to affirm your personal progress.

Save personalized notes on categories of learning and improvement, easily watch educational content across a spectrum of categories with recommended reading. There are also routines in the app to help with planning and organizing.

Journy: Life Goals and Self-Care app seeks to help people of all walks of life in their everyday life to maintain a sense of control, through organization, personal development, and self-care while creating a sense of community through volunteering by giving a portion of your $4.99 monthly or $29.99 annual subscription to Kids-in-need foundation and refugees in need. Download Journy: Life Goals & Self-Care AP on Apple App store or Google Play Store, now!

iOS link

https://apps.apple.com/us/app/journy-life-goals-self-care/id1640697055

Google play link

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.affirmedme.journyApp&pli=1

Journy plan life self care App
Journy: Plan Life & self care App

What is Somatic Experiencing

I started crying. She was crying. She's like, I'm so sorry. I'm a bad person. I didn't mean to upset you, you know like, so we're trying to pick up the glass and I'm crying and thinking like, what is happening? What is going on in me that I immediately revert it like this feeling what is this feeling in my body so I sought out, Somatic Experiencing, therapy work.

Myrna: Did you stop your original therapy at this point?

Mandy: Throughout my adult years, I had been in therapy off and on. So, at this point in time, I had not been to therapy in a while, but over the last 20 years I've been through multiple forms of, talk therapy, processing my abuse, processing the anger towards my mom, processing my childhood over and over again. But this was a whole different level.

And this is why I knew I needed something different because I've been talking about my story for 20 years and I can intellectualize it really simply and be like I know this is why I'm upset and you know that I'm like doing the job for the therapist. Right? But this was like a whole different level of awareness that somehow, I was holding more in my body than I was able to reach through just talking; because our body has a different story than our minds do about what happened to us.

Sponsored Ad

Looking for a scientifically tested and strategic way to improve your mental health? Then it’s time for you to download Neurocycle, the world’s first and only brain detox app! Neurocycle is a step-by-step program that you do over 63 days to identify and unwire toxic thinking habits, trauma, and limiting beliefs. The app doesn’t just help you MANAGE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, it also helps rebuild healthy new neural networks in your brain.

The Neurocycle app also includes mini guides for in-the-moment challenges, such as a guide to help you work through panic attacks, and a guide for parents to use with kids. Struggling with sleep? Neurocycle also has a guide to help you fall asleep quicker, and stay asleep longer!

For a limited time, get 50% OFF your first month’s subscription with transform. Go to Neurocycle.app– and use promo code transform so they know we sent you!

Neurocycle App
Neurocycle App

Releasing childhood traumas with meditation

Myrna: So true, I do this meditation from Dr Joe Dispenza about getting the mind out the body. Actually moving the energy up through the nervous system to the head. It is the Kundalini rising.

Mandy: It makes a lot of sense. We all have traumas that we hold in our bodies, we may not even really be aware of that influence, how we show up our behavior, our thoughts, our actions. But for me, it was once I started that Somatic therapy for about two and a half years. I healed more than I did in the previous 20 years of just talking about it. And it really gave me the tools to understand how to connect to my body, because up to that point. I was like a head, walking around in the world. I had disconnected from my body.

Myrna: So, how do you how do you heal women or help them heal from a stress and trauma using your, LOVE methodology?

podhero podcast Transform Your Mind
Podhero podcast

What is the Love Methodology

Mandy: The methodology called LOVE is an acronym. It's four steps, it stands for:

  • Listen- Listen to the thoughts, the beliefs that you that run through your mind on a consistent basis.
  • Observe – observe where you hold them in. Example your body. Where's the predominant location where you hold that thought of, I'm not worthy, or I'm not good enough or whatever that thought is?
  • V is for validated. So oftentimes, we are not taught to validate our emotions or experiences, which sometimes this is a hard step for people, but this is all about, if I feel that unworthiness in my heart space, you know, it's about teaching people how to have compassion for that part that's feeling very unworthy and very unseen. It's giving them a language to tap into that part of them. So, they can make a connection and start to repair and build trust and heal that part and integrate it back into their core self. Use experience. So, experience, meaning or sorry.
  • E is embrace with love. So, what does that part need? Tune into that part, that's feeling unworthy, that's feeling very heavy in my chest. And I get a validation and say, You're right, I can understand why you feel that way. What is it you need from me right now? That kind of sounds a little weird to talk to ourselves like that. But our bodies full of wisdom and insight into what we need in the moment.

So, if it's like, I need a hug. Let's go find someone who can really give you a hug or give yourself something else. Like I need to just sit outside or maybe take a walk, going to walk Great.  But it's in the process of meeting our needs. In the moment learning how to ask for what we need and meeting those needs starts to build up trust again.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Podvine
Transform Your Mind Podcast Podvine

How to talk to ourselves with LOVE

Someone who's been traumatized and holds a lot of stress and anxiety in their body, and most likely be in a sympathetic nervous system state.  In order for us to heal and go deeper into some of the traumas. We must slowly help our nervous systems to release that trauma.

Myrna: So, what is the language that we're using?

Mandy: Well, the language is a little bit different for everyone. And what I mean by that is, my nervous system talks to me in a very specific way. And that might be different than how your nervous system talks to you. So, this is all about first getting people comfortable with recognizing they have a body that’s feeling.

So, for me, anytime I'm stressed my guts, my stomach gets so bloated and in intense discomfort. And the instant I feel that sensation. It's like a switch. I'm like, oh no, I'm feeling stressed right now. Okay, I need to take a minute to acknowledge that you know, reflect what's really making you stressed right now. Or when I would feel like it wasn't safe for me to speak up. I would feel it in my throat. I would feel like I can't swallow.

Childhood traumas and autoimmune disease

Myrna: What is the connection between, Childhood Traumas, and chronic health disease?

Mandy: Yeah. So, when we're a child, and you know, our natural responses are to fight flight or freeze. And when we're tired if we're in an environment that's abusive, or traumatic, and I'll just use mine as an example, if you are sexually abused, I was not able to fight or flee. This activates our stress hormones. It changes our body and puts us into a sympathetic state, to ready us to do those things and fight flight or freeze but when we can't when we're impaired and we have to stay frozen in that situation.

Our body's natural processes don't shut off. They continue to be elevated. In that stress response. And so, what happens over time, if we are constantly experiencing that stress over and over, it changes our biology, in that we become more sensitive to stress we get stressed faster and faster and faster every time that happens.

And it starts to create this low-grade stress response in our bodies and in our brains and sort of affects not just our physical body, but it changes the neuro chemistry in our brain, because of that constant assault. The, stress hormones, are running through our bodies through childhood and then into adulthood, where we have maybe more responsibilities or even more things that we have to be worried about. And starts to really degrade our system because the, stress hormones, are meant to be short bursts to help us get out of that environment, they're not meant to be long term.

So just like you were saying that inflammation over time, deteriorates our gut health, deteriorates our immune system, deteriorates our ability to digest foods.

The stress response to traumas

Myrna: a little bit more about your work, the LOVE methodology, the soothing way to heal many traumas, tell our listeners where they can connect with you and the kind of trauma that they need help with. Talk about your website, talk about your social media handles, and this is the time where we talk about your work.

Mandy: Awesome. Thank you. Yeah, I do I share that, LOVE methodology, in a few different ways. So, I do corporate speaking, I love to reach out to companies who are interested in helping develop their employees through health and wellness. Helping them manage their stress, learning how to regulate their nervous systems. And in those talks, and in those workshops, I often share this, LOVE methodology, because it's something very simple. You can do even at work. You can do it for five minutes. You can do it longer, but it's an empowering tool that can help you start to take control over experiences that you  feel like you don't have control.

And it can help you try to limit and shift how you are triggered in the workplace. So that's one place in which I share that. And then I also work one on one with people and do healing sessions. And so, in those healing sessions, we will leverage this methodology sometimes in one session. And other times maybe it's introduced over a series of sessions to emphasize that. And then here locally where I'm at I do guided hiking sessions where we hike and heal. I'm in Colorado.

What I would like to share with your audience is on my website, free downloads, video and a workbook that goes over this, LOVE methodology. So that's on the front page of my website. My website is www.Mandylharvey.com. My Instagram is @MandylHarvey

Additional Resources

What is the Connection Between Childhood Trauma and Autoimmune Disease?

10 Ways Childhood Trauma Impacts our Ability to Love

10 ways that, childhood trauma, can sabotage your love life and relationships. Relationship Coach Riana Milne joins The Transform your Mind podcast to discuss, childhood trauma, and how it impacts our adult life. Riana is the best selling author of “Love Beyond your Dreams” and “From Fear and Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose and Success.”

For anyone who have had trouble maintaining healthy relationships, listen to find out if your have any of the, childhood trauma, that can affect your love relationships.

 

How Childhood Trauma affects Adults
How Childhood Trauma affects Adults

IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL LEARN:

How does, childhood trauma, impact adults in life and love?
Riana goes over ten, childhood traumas, and relate them back to how they show up in our lives as an adult.
To get the most out of this topic, Riana advise the listeners to Get a sheet of paper and make three columns.

The first column you put “ME”, the second column you put “Your partner” and the third column you put “Your parents” because research shows, childhood trauma, go through the generations.

iHeart Radio

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-Transform-your-Mind-29542107/

So here are the ten, childhood traumas:

As I speak them remember that when you were child you're very young and innocent all you knew is what mom and dad modeled to you so there’s
nothing to feel guilt or shame about.
I don't want people to say no it didn't happen because they're embarrassed or they feel shame around it.
If it is a fact, if it happened write it down.
It is like putting a puzzle together. Once you know what your, childhood trauma, is and then how it's showing up as a for you as an adult.
As a coach, I can start putting the pieces together and everything starts making a whole lot of sense.

My favorite line is you can't change what you don't understand.

Childhood trauma, #1 addictions

1. Addictions – as a child, did your parents have any addiction?
Now we typically think of drugs and alcohol, but there's also sex addiction.
If your parent was a cheater or watched porn, have an eating addiction, was a hoarder, spending or gambling, workaholic etc. There's 11 addictive behaviors.

Childhood trauma, #2 Verbal Abuse

2. Verbal abuse – Did you witness your mom and dad screaming and yelling at each other? This, Childhood trauma, is typical is yelling screaming but this also includes no verbal alkaloids, no compliments, not hearing I love you
verbally humiliated, or put down, your opinion means nothing, or statements like “you'll never amount to anything.” Comments like that.

Childhood trauma, #3 emotional abuse or neglect

3. Emotional abuse or Neglect – Your parents were not around, being gone for long periods of time. Research also shows latch key kids let's say they came home from school at 3 o'clock and mom if they're in a single household mom
had to work 9 to 5. That child is alone for two or so hours.

There's anxiety around that. So that even falls under the neglect believe it or not. While we're out trying to support our kids there home alone.

Childhood trauma, #4 Psychical abuse

4. Physical Abuse, Rape or Molestation – This, childhood trauma,  could have happened in or outside of the home. Physical abuse is being beat hit in any way other than the typical spanking like a quick spank on the butt. Research shows that spanking does nothing to help teach your child anything, so I always say when I do parenting lectures in the schools we're supposed to teach our child another way.

If you're beating them or hitting them you're teaching them to be violent back. We don't want to do that.

Childhood trauma, #5 Abandonment

5. Abandonment – There's two types, childhood trauma, from abandonment. Fault and No Fault abandonment.
Here are three examples, childhood trauma, from no-fault abandonment.
• a parent has to go off and serve at war
• a parent happens to die early
• early a parent travels away from the home a lot for work. 20:24

Here is an example of “Fault” abandonment:
• Divorce and the mom or dad leaves the home and is supposed to see the children every weekend and is either late or
cancels, does not pick up the child. The dad is spending more time with his new girlfriend than he is paying attention to you the child.

Childhood trauma, #6 Adoption

6. Adoption – if you were adopted, part of the foster care system, or you needed to live with relatives because mom or dad couldn't take care of you, that even includes Grandma's, aunts or uncles. I had a client who signed up with me she
asks “How about if we chose to live with another family because we didn't want to go home? I said yes that falls under this category because there was always yelling and screaming in her household so she didn't want to go home.

Childhood trauma, #7 personal trauma

7. Personal trauma – This comes from being bullied, feeling different not fitting in, being a little overweight as a child or like me skinny and gawky. Many people remember being bullying not part of the sports teams.

Childhood trauma, #8 Sibling trauma

8. Sibling trauma – Your sibling could have been born with a medical issue where it demanded more of moms and dads time. Or they could be bullying you, but most often this one applies to if you perceive your sibling as being the golden child. They were more athletically beautiful or handsome or intelligent getting better grades and mom or dad gushed over
them versus you. You were always trying to prove yourself and say see I'm worthwhile too.

Childhood trauma, #9 Community trauma

9. Community trauma – If a parent was incarcerated, if you moved a lot like military families. In the U.S.A military families move every two to four years. Growing up in lack, growing up in dangerous neighborhoods, that's all
family trauma and community trauma. Today we can also have, childhood trauma, if we have active volcanoes, massive fire, floods, hurricanes, mass shootings in our community.

http://blog.myhelps.us/whats-your-story-breakthesilence/

Childhood trauma, #10 Mental Health

10. Mental Health – Bipolar, Manic Depression, Hidden personalities. We have Sociopaths and narcissism is part of community trauma. Sociopathic means that they have no regard for your emotional feelings, they act on what they want, when they want without thinking about their partner or the repercussions.

I am unlike every other love coach, because I specialize in how the past has harmed you and what you're attracting. We call it same person different face. The repetitive toxic relationships and this happens to my clients who are very successful
in business but they struggle in love. They can't figure out why like I can get the career right,

https://myhelps.us/podcast-sponsorship-transform-your-mind/

Sponsored AD

If you would like to improve the quality of your life and don’t have the budget to hire a coach, then I have an offer for you. Why not play the game of life and learn the skills to maneuver life situations. How many of you have played the game of monopoly and learned the value of having property to collect rent?

1. The Coaching Game features 65 associative cards that explore significant everyday life themes.
2. Punctum fosters associative connections between photos, themes and questions. These flexible combinations make it a fascinating tool, highly effective in dynamic therapy, coaching and counseling.
3. Faces is a powerful way to get to know ourselves through the observation of others.

For more information or to purchase one or more games. Would make a prefect Christmas gift for someone you love. Head over to https://poy4all.com/transform/?ref=17

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Riana is offering a FREE eBook
Get it here:
www.HavetheLoveYouDeserve.com

 

PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to the PODCAST so you can get new episodes as they are uploaded. You can listen on, iTunes,  TuneIn radio, iHeart Radio, Stitcher and Spotify.

There’s Nothing “Wrong” with You that Makes Dating So Hard! In Fact, 90% of People Have the Same Challenge when it comes to Love! (And They Don’t Even Know It Exists!)

Imagine attracting and having the Emotionally Healthy Love Relationship you’ve always wanted – and the life you are passionate about! It’s possible and I’ll show you what you’ve been doing “wrong”. (And it’s not what you think!)

It’s time to get the FACTS and learn EXACTLY what is going on, and How to Fix It!

 

Additional Resources:

http://blog.myhelps.us/reflection-4-rejection-surviving-mothers-abandonment/

4 Ways a Traumatic Childhood Affects Adult Relationships

What happens to us as children can affect the attachment style we carry into our adult relationships. Childhood Trauma, hugely influences attachment. Often people who grew up in happy, healthy, and stable homes where caregivers were emotionally available and responsive to their needs have a secure attachment style. These people don't push partners away or cling too tightly. While they may have troubles in their relationships, an unhealthy attachment style isn't the cause.

The Long Shadow of Childhood Trauma

A new study suggests that stress experienced early in life damages the ability to assess risk, creating young adults with poor decision-making skills.

How To Get Out Of The Snares of Child Abuse

Out of the Snares of Poverty and Child Abuse

Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement is a book written to encourage women of color who were born in lack. It showcases my, personal growth, journey and how I got, out of the snares, of poverty and, child abuse.

 

This is my interview on the Books of the Month show on www.ptwwntv.com

Listen to the interview:

 

Introduction to Out Of the Snares

Myrna – I am a, life coach, I host a show on the preach the word television network called Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life, one of the reasons that I wrote the book, Out of the Snares, is because I believe and I wanted to encourage women that it is not where we come from, but where we end up that’s important.

It's also the only way that we can go through that transition like from a caterpillar to a butterfly is if we allow the things that happen to us in life help us with, personal growth.  We should use challenges to transform ourselves and for our, personal development.

So, the book, Out of the Snares, is basically a story of my life.  I wrote it from a, life coaching, perspective with 10 principles of, life experiences, that happened to me and what I learned from those, life experiences.

I’m a, life coach, but I do most of my coaching on my show Transform Your Mind. It is a radio, podcast and a television show.

Dr O.C Pringle:  You're doing it all sister Young, you're doing it all right and so of course your inspiration would be your, life's experience, and, child abuse. let's talk about that.

Out of the Snares of Child Sexual Abuse

Myrna:  I was, sexually abused, as a child in Guyana by a family friend.  He was technically my Godfather, but being from a third world country, a very poor country and he was very rich.

We would call him a, pedophile, he showered me with a lot of attention,  and bought me a lot of gifts and then took advantage of that.

I didn't realize that we were doing anything wrong until I became 13 and started having Boyfriends.

Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes
Download on iTunes

DR O.C Pringle: Until you became what?  Wait how old were you?

 

Myrna:  This, sexual abuse, began at age 10.

 

Dr O.C Pringle: Wow did anything ever happen to this guy?

 

Myrna: No, because like most children I didn’t say anything about it. I told no one. This book was my first experience talking about it and I in my 40’s when I wrote, Out of the Snares. My dad read the book and was very upset that he did not know this was going on.

Children carry a lot of shame regarding, sexual abuse, I still carried shame when I wrote, Out of the Snare. As you can see I used my maiden name Trotman for the author name.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Dr. O.C Pringle: So, you placed Myrna Bernadette Trotman on the cover of the book, because you didn't want people to know it was you, but your picture is on the cover!!

 

Myrna: I started to release shame when I started talking about the, sexual abuse, and when I learnt that children can’t give consent for sex. So whatever guilt and shame that I had attached to my, sexual abuse, I released it.

 

Dr O.C Pringle: Well listen it worked out for your good, but all things work together for the good of them that loved God and are called according to his, purpose, so your, sexual abuse, worked in your favor. You were able to redirect that energy into something positive where you're helping people all over the world.  You're on radio and on television, yes you are some kind of a woman.

Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement

Self Improvement Book: Out of the Snares
Out of the Snares of poverty, and sexual abuse

So, let's talk some more about the book.

 

Myrna: Out of the Snares, is made up of 10 principles in life that we should live by:

 

  1. Keep Your, Vision, in Front of you– Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of vision casting.
  2. The events in your life whether good or bad, work together for good– God said I know your expected end. Stay the course; don't give up until you win.
  3. Let the, Universal Laws of Attraction, the, Laws of Intention, work for you– Ask and it will be given unto you.
  4. Have a, Positive Mindset– Take control of your thoughts and attitudes. Get rid of ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts)
  5. Use what you have in your hand– You were created with a purpose; God gave you the skills and talents you need to complete your task. Stop waiting for the right time.
Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify
  1. Be intentional about your Growth– Be proactive, be intentional, build on your gifts, and continually improve.
  2. If you build it, they will come“ Be a servant first.
  3. Find your Passion– it is the Fire in your belly. Become conscious of what lights you up. God put that Fire in your belly as a beacon to achieve your purpose.
  4. Love– it is what makes this Human experience worthwhile. Love yourself first. Love is spirit, God is spirit.
  5. Business Consciousness– how to create a startup company and succeed in marketing.

Additional Resources

Do You Have A Child Sexual Abuse Story? Break the Silence

Self love is the secret Out of the Snares of Child Abuse

Surviving R. Kelly: The Mindset Of A Sexual Predator

sexual predators r Kelly and Jeffrey Epstein

How can women use their intuitive gifts to understand the mindset of the, sexual predator, like, R Kelly? We check the boxes to understand why, sexual predators, seek out and choose certain women.

In this episode of the, Transform your Mind, personal development podcast, I interview Intuitive and spiritual coach Nicole Leffer

 

Surviving r Kelly Sexual Predator

The Lifetime series, Surviving r Kelly, and the follow up Dateline episode, show a rich and famous, R Kelly, feeding his sex machine with women of all ages. His preference seemed to be teenage girls as young as 12 years old; but women in their 30's had the same experience.  One said that she did unspeakable things in a Black room, was starved, had to ask before she went to the bathroom, was physically abused, and had to call, r Kelly,  Daddy.

So in this interview, Nicole and  I  explore the mindset of  a, sexual predator,  and how women of all ages can use their intuition to escape the lair of a, sexual  predator.

 Have you ever gotten a reading on the, mindset sexual predator,?

Nicole since you are an intuitive and there's been a lot of readings,  have you ever gotten a reading on a, sexual predator?  What is going on in the mindset of a, sexual predator,?

 I've never done a reading where I sat like I sat down and read a, sexual predator.  I don't think that somebody in that space would allow that. I have had a couple of times the in readings for other people who was a victim of a, predator.   What I  picked up was a lot of assurance that it was not their fault. Something about them triggered the mindset of the, sexual predator.  Something from their childhood or from their past that they were tormented and deeply tortured about, attracted the, sexual predator, so they became the target. 

This is also the Law of Attraction concept.  The energy that you are putting out attracts, sexual predators. They can read you. If you have a lot of insecurities within yourself, a, predator, can pick up on your insecurities and that they have the opportunity to come in and fill that void.  

You become vulnerable if you view yourself as not enough and the, sexual predator, can sniff that out. 

The other factor that has come through in my, intuitive readings,  is that the, sexual predator,  is also trying to fill some need in themselves. They have learned that preying on the innocent, dulls the pain inside themselves and gives them the sense of power and control over their victims. Whatever it is they're trying to get through or over, they're using this behavior as their outlet for that.  It is not a healthy behavior by any means,  but it's  similar to how people use drugs or they'll use alcohol or they'll use sex or they'll use a million different things.  It's like somehow somewhere along the way,  this person has learned that this is a solution to their pain, their torment, their torture and the wires get crossed in their brains and this is what happens.

How do we use our Intuition to understand, the mindset sexual predator,? 

We do have an, intuition, in ourselves to be able to prevent this from happening to us. Not 100 percent of the time, but as humans we are able to pick up the warning signs and cues, if we are paying attention.  

One of the victims in the, Surviving Robert R Kelly, interview said just that.  She said that, sexual predators, look for the, weak minded woman,.  They usually go for the young, like teenagers because they are, weak minded women,  but if they find you are weak minded as an adult, then you become a victim as well.  She was one of the women in her 30's who was a victim.  So if you are a, weak minded woman, then you are not using your, intuition, instead, you are looking for this person to fill the void in your life, and in, the mindset of a, sexual predator, they are more than happy to accommodate.

Listen to the rest on this interview on audio to understand how your feeling of not being enough activates the, sexual predator, to target you.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

https://tunein.com/podcasts/Motivational/Transform-your-Mind-with-Coach-Myrna-p1102799/

Sponsored AD

Do you ever think that you have too much stuff?  Maybe two or three of the same item but don't have the one thing you need or want?  Or maybe you spend hours getting ready to host a garage sale only to have most of the things taken to charity anyway.  Perhaps you have a service you'd like to offer in exchange for another service that you need or maybe just looking for one specific hard-to-find item like sports memorabilia or auto parts.  Well BarterUpOnline.com can help you solve all of these problems.  

Whether you have unwanted items, looking for specific items or simply willing to trade services, https://barteruponline.com/ is for you.  The process is easy come to our website sign up for a monthly account which will cost you $2 dollars a month billed once a month or sign up for an annual account, which will cost you $1 dollar a month Billed once a year.  So visit our website today, no money no problem, only trades.

Sponsored AD

Are you satisfied with your current cable company? Are you paying way more than you should?

Save money on your cable bill each and every month and get more with NuMedia. 5 star rated.

You can run NuMedia from your smart TV, tablets, phone or fire stick with ease.

Get access to over 1,500 HDTV channels, all movie channels, sport packages and

pay per view events, children channels, international channels and videos on demand.. all included for only $49.95 a month.

Get more content at a lower price.  No contract, credit check, deposit, equipment or commitment required.

Refer 5 people and get your service absolutely free!

Go to dontpay4cabletv.com and sign up for a free 24 hour trial.

Try it free today switch and save!

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

http://blog.myhelps.us/protecting-your-child-from-sexual-abuse-at-home/

Does Serving a Prison Sentence Affect Change?

Does Prison reform?

Does serving a, prison, sentence change your outlook in life?  Rocky Singh Kandola talks to us today on the subjects of,  rape, child abuse, prison, physical assault, and more.

Listen to the full interview here:

Rocky Singh Kandola is a 33 year old successful Indian businessman born in New York City and currently living in Los Angeles. Rocky owns a showroom in a high traffic area in the downtown area of Los Angeles. He says “I am both a felon and a Philosophy Graduate”   Rocky spent his “high school” life in 9 different facilities and, boot camps, around the world, some of which are now closed due to severe, child abuse, rape, and torture. He have almost died at least 8 times. Half of his face and jaw are fake from an attempted murder on his life. He’s been shot, stabbed, kidnapped, and kicked in the face resulting in over 20 major surgeries in his adult life.

How did Rocky end up in Prison

Myrna – Can you tell us your story of what led to you being, incarcerated.

Rocky – I spent a lot of time in different facilities and, boot camps, across the world at a young age.  My father was a very traditional Indian parent. Indian kids were supposed to stay home, study and get straight A’s. I was not that kid, I was a lot more outspoken. I was wild and carefree.  I wanted to be out and about and party with friends so me and my father bumped heads often.

I was sent to my first worldwide association of specialty program, boot camp, at age 15. Paris Hilton recently shed a lot of light on these, child abuse, boots camps, in her documentary.

Myrna – Oh my gosh, I saw her documentary.

Rocky – I went to one of the, boot camps, that were outside of the U.S, this one was in Mexico.  Keep in mind these are for-profit businesses that operate in very manipulative ways towards the parents as well as towards the children in order to further their business.

Sponsored Ad

Up is Higher than Down Podcast We Explore how to be Deliberate, Defiant, and Determined to Look up! Get Up! And Stay Up! Despite the challenge Listen to others share how they keep it moving during these stressful times. Join up is higher than Down from all major podcasting networks Come on over to our Up is Higher Than Down Facebook Group and keep the conversation going. Grab-an-UP and Go! Remember, Any part of Up is Higher Than Down. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/up-is-higher-than-down/id1539007527

up is higher than down podcast
up is higher than down podcast

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Life in Boot Camps

My parents didn't really know about the trauma the, child abuse, the, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or the, mental abuse, that was going on at these, boot camps.  They would tell the parents your kids are going to manipulate you.  They're going to lie to you, don't listen to them.  Our communication was controlled, we weren't allowed to write or talk call home.

These, group homes,  boot camps, very regimented.  As soon as you walked in, your hair is shaved, you're sleeping on the ground for 10 days,  you're screamed at, or you're beaten, and yelled at.  Forced to lay in positions on your stomach with  your chin on the ground and your hands and feet tied behind your back for hours.

You're forced to wake up at 2 am o'clock in the middle of the night and go outside and stand in the rain and count the rain. These, group homes, boot camps, did all kinds of cruel mental games to brainwash and break a child.  It's not hard to break a child especially at that age.

I learned to adapt and to work the system and I used that knowledge when I was in, prison. I would go into these, group homes, boot camps, every six months of my life, then go home, raise hell and be sent to another, group home, 6 months later.

Sponsored Ad

Ladies are you looking to revitalize and rejuvenate? Then head over to golwbeautybiz.com for all your natural feminine products. We have Yoni care products for your body, face and nails. Check out our Yoni jasmine bar soap or our Yoni Steam Herbs that helps Heals and tones the tissues of vagina

*Regulate irregular or absent menstrual cycles.

*and Increase Fertility

Check out these products and more at www.glowbeautybiz.com

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Did life in these book camps train you for Prison?

Myrna – What did you get arrested for and sent to, prison?

Rocky – The, prison, thing came about because I was selling drugs and doing everything from robbing, stealing,  breaking into cars. I started getting into heavier drugs until the federal government and the state local police set up a sting operation. This task force followed me around for quite a bit of time and got me to sell narcotics to an undercover agent.

I was arrested and charged with distribution. I was sentenced to  seven to nine years in, prison.

Prison, was very scary place; but after a few months, I got out I kind of got back in the same lifestyle.  I'm not really the type person you can scare or punish into changing.

Sponsored Ad

It’s time for a light revolution!

Daily spiritual and self-care practices are important for both mental and physical well-being.  Reiki is an energy healing technique used for relaxation and stress reduction.  Now, it can be easily incorporated into your daily routine.

At The Light Revolution, you can enjoy Reiki sessions at any time and place you want.  Our Reiki sessions and Ritual brand clearing products are designed to be convenient and accessible tools for your spiritual and self-care practices.  They are ideal for those with limited time, access, ability, or mobility, and can be used at the time and place you choose.

Performed by a Usui Master and certified practitioner, our Reiki sessions help balance your energy, enhance healing, and promote calmness. Both single sessions and subscription packages are available.

We bring you The Light Revolution distance Reiki and Ritual brand clearing products to make your place a safe and sacred space.

Schedule or order now at www.TheLightRevolution.com.  Follow us on Instagram at thelightrevolution_

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Does a prison sentence reform the inmate?

Myrna – You were in, prison, I think you said for seven or eight years and then you said that when you came out of, prison, you went back into the same lifestyle.  What you think, prison, did for you if anything?

Rocky – I was in prison for about two years,  in jail for a year then rehab for another year.

I learned so much in, prison.  There's people going to, prison, with different attitudes, different crimes. I  went in there as an adaptable chameleon.  I've been institutionalized since I was 11, so I knew it was gonna be another institution.  I knew there were certain things I had to learn like how to navigate between judges and counselors and convicts and inmates.

I didn't really have any troubles, I had a pretty decent level of respect for, prison. People were curious about me, why was I in prison in Alabama? What was this Indian kid doing in a, prison, in Alabama?

On top of that I spoke Spanish and I played basketball, so it was very easy to transfer between a lot of race wars in an Alabama, prison. It was easy to go between White and Black and Mexican inmates.

Understanding How to Use Reiki Energy for Mind and Body

Sponsored Ad 

Two Ten Podcast
Two Ten Podcast

Are you looking to be inspired by 2 Black women who are mothers, as well as doctors?  Then check out the Two Ten Podcast. This podcast chronicles the lives and lived experiences of two professional mothers, who were married by age 20, had professional careers, earned their Doctorate degrees, and each had 5 kids out of their own wombs!

Carol and Aimy each have unique experiences and even though they have reached their goals, they are still dreaming while being relatively young busy moms. Join them on their journey. Check out the Two Ten Podcast on Buzzsprout.com

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Selling Drugs in Prison

I quickly developed a sense of wanting to help, so I started writing motions for people in, prison.  Most inmates didn’t know how to read and write. But in spite of wanting to help and do good, I quickly got back into selling drugs in, prison.

Myrna – How do you sell drugs in, prison?

Rocky – There are certain areas in, prison,  you meet someone that's for lack of a better term gay and they're happy putting substances inside of their butt area and they would sneak in drugs for you. They would then clean it out, put it in a certain area, tell you where it is and you go pick it up. I then go bag it up and then redistribute it.

It's a whole different world inside, prisons. I am smiling now but looking back it was  nerve-wracking and very scary, because if you get caught, you're in big trouble. Outside of that I liked the time I had to myself in, prison. I read books and journal and make a plan for my life.

I started plans for my business plan in, prison.

Sponsored Ad 

Hey guys! ! Are you wondering how to get back to a normal life and keep your indoor surroundings safe during this pandemic? Then check out The Vollara Air and Surface Pro, a powerful surface and air Purification Unit that helps you, your family and friends experience safer surfaces and breathe healthy air every day .  This unit is extremely effective at safely destroying 99.9 % of viruses , bacteria, mold, toxin , dust and other contaminants. Tested and proven, The Vollara Air and Surface Pro can inactivate the SARS virus also known as Covid19 virus ) both in the air and on surfaces. The Vollara Air and Surface pro is the first Machine of it's kind to have FDA Clearance.

To learn more and to Order your machine today. Visit thepurifiermachine.com.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Planning your life while inside Prison

When you take your time while you're in, prison,  to really set goals and set a future up for yourself, when you get out of, prison, you're already a step ahead versus the person who just

closed their eyes and did their time in, prison.

It's such an important thing planning and preparing and framing your mind for when you leave, prison. I've learned in my life from, sexual abuse, physical abuse,  in , boot camps,  and being beaten in, jail.

Myrna – You have to change your mindset, that is why this the show is called the Transform your Mind podcast. The system feels that when they, incarcerate, people, they felt punishing them by sending them to, prison, or, jail, for a couple of years that they will reform them and change behaviors. But like you said you can go to, prison,  and get worse because drugs are still selling in, prison.

You send someone in there who’s innocent and they come out worse than when they went  in, or you can go to, prison,  and you can get your GED.  Some go to, prison, and had such a horrible time in there that they vow never to go back to, prison.

Sponsored Ad

GRAB ANYTHING. PLACE ANYWHERE. View any Image in Augmented Reality!

Copy, Compare and Shop with AR.

GRAB AR is the revolutionary App that uses AI and AR technology to copy any Image to your device camera and view the Image in your Surroundings. Visualize how objects look in any environment.

INSTALL THE GRAB AR APP & SCAN THE QR CODE BELOW FOR DEMO

Make any of your existing product Images able to be viewed in AR. Now you can generate GRAB AR QR Codes / Mobile Buttons for your product Images with ease! Create your own AR QR Code.

GRAB and view any Image in Augmented Reality, from any Website, using the GRAB AR QR Code Generator Browser Extensions.

https://grabar.app

Child Abuse and Sexual Abuse
Child Abuse and Sexual Abuse

 

Statistics of repeat offenders Recidivism to prison

Myrna – What is the statistics of how many people reform from being sent to, prison, and the percentage of those who are repeat offenders?

Rocky –  I believe our, recidivism, rate in America is close to 70 percent. I went back to, jail, twice after my release from, prison, twice for about a month. The system to be truthful is

almost designed for, recidivism, to make you mess up, so you can go right back to, prison, and serve more time.

Myrna- I would say that you were lucky that your father sent you to India and you used that opportunity to start your hair business. Tell us about your business.

Sponsored Ad 

Hey guys: are you or your loved ones driving for Uber or other rideshares during these uncertain times? Take advantage of this New Year’s special and get an automotive sneeze guard designed to be used inside vehicles. Now only $89, and includes free shipping.

Made out of virtually indestructible polycarbonate; These shields will not crack or shatter. Minutes to install -no tools required

That’s ONLY $89 Includes free , fast shipping  within 5 business days. WOW!
Get yours today sneezeguardian.com

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Planning a successful business from Prison

Rocky – I started my business plan from , prison. Then when I was in India after I left, prison, I had time to meet manufacturers, go to the small markets where they're selling hair and really do a lot of research. Everything happens for a reason.  I never thought I’d be in India after, prison.  While I was there and everything started falling into place. Within a week I had the name for my business, paid for the domain and then made a Facebook post. I had the ability to learn from an Indian perspective about the manufacturing side before I learned about marketing in the U.S.

Myrna – How can listeners contact you and support your business?

Rocky – My main website and personal blog is hair made https://www.rockykandola.com/

And https://hairmaidenindia.com

You will find links there to all my past podcast episodes.  You’ll have all the businesses that I currently run, from my hair company, to my Tea company, to my vacation rental property company in Florida.

Sponsored Ad

keke-wyatt-keke-covers
keke-wyatt-keke-covers

Keke Wyatt Song Oui from her Keke Covers album. Original song by Jeremih. Listeners can find song on Youtube by searching Keke Wyatt or clicking on the following link:

https://www.youtube.com/c/mskekewyatt/videos

 

Conclusion

In closing I want to remind you to subscribe to the Transform your Mind Podcast YouTube channel or iTunes and please rate and review our podcast.

I would also like to invite you to join my private Facebook group called life coach, we have a lot of life Coaches with daily inspirational messages.

 

Additional Resources

Reflection 4 Rejection: Surviving My Mothers Abandonment and Abuse

 

Are All Sociopaths Predators? The Jeffrey Epstein Story

Psychopaths have no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five Americans, are secretly, sociopaths and so we have Jeffrey Epstein.

There are some subjects that fascinate me and one of them are, sociopaths.

This fascination began when I read the book the “Psychopath Next Door.”

This story was about a man who selected this woman because of her vulnerability.

Sociopaths, always chose their victims.

He actually knocked on her door one day and began a friendship with her, then he got her to move away from her friends and family to this remote house in England.

Sociopaths,  always want to get you away from your friends and family because friends and family strengthen us. Jeffrey Epstein, had his island in the Virgin Islands

Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast
Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

Sponsored AD

Welcome to Cotton For The Soul™ podcast, (www.cottonforthesoul.com) an up close and personal raw & unfiltered perspective on life experience of eating a plant-base diet. Spreading Good vibrations while living a minimalist lifestyle outside the matrix. Whether you have taken the pill of knowledge or the pill of blissful ignorance, thank you for tuning in from down the rabbit hole. Now, buckle your seat-belt because it's about to get real! We upload a new episode every Thursday

sociopaths in history Charles Manson
sociopaths in history Charles Manson

The definition of a Sociopath

This house in England was a beautiful large Victorian home. This man let’s call him Jim told this that  he inherited this property and had her suggest that they modernize the house with her money.

Later in the story after she had escaped with her life, she found out that the property was rented, it was a con to get her money.

Sociopaths, are liars.

Then Jim started abusing her, verbally and emotionally, then physically. He told her if she ever left him he would kill her. Every time she attempted to leave, he would find her and punish her. Finally in desperation she walked for miles in the freezing cold one night to someone's home and hid there.

Sociopaths, keep you in control with abuse. Remember the Robert R Kelly documentary? All the women said that he controlled them with physical abuse and punishment like starvation when they disobeyed his orders. Like going to the bathroom without getting permission

[Sponsored AD]

O'Brien Garage Doors is a family-owned and operated garage door company that provides residential garage door services including repair, sales, installation services, and more. Whether your overhead door or operator needs to be repaired or you need to buy new ones, we service and sell all brands and models Of quality garage doors and automatic garage door openers. We have been proudly serving our customers for over thirty years and are dedicated to providing them with friendly, honest service. Our technicians are certified and trained to take care Of all your garage door needs and are always courteous and happy to help.
call: (888) 973-0061 Or visit: https://obriendoor.com

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Like I said, this story imprinted on my mind and since then I have been able to spot, sociopaths. Almost all of them are good looking and charming and they use this asset to reel in their victims.

Jeffrey Epstein, was also good looking and charming and was able to charm his way into getting jobs as a teacher and securities broker without having any of the necessary paperwork, because he dropped out of college.

Sociopaths vs Phychopaths

As a, sexual predator, they use this good looking charm to make women fall for them and after they get them emotionally tied, they switch from charming to becoming a monster.

Sociopaths, are also narcissistic. They can feel no emotions so they do unconscionable things without batting an eyelid.

Jeffrey Epstein, sexually abused hundreds of children for decades by luring them with $200. He knew that to a 14 year old $200 was a lot of money. If he ordered a call girl or prostitute the price for a massage and sex would be $2000 not $200; but then of course they wouldn't turn him on. Only young girls turned him on.

What is the difference between, sociopaths vs psychopaths? Sociopaths and psychopaths  are usually dishonest. In my story Jim swindled over a $100,000 from his victim to modernize a house that he didn't own.

Jeffrey Epstein, was also a thief. He stole $46 M from one of his employers and was fired from another for stealing.

[Sponsored AD]

You are invited to the M.B.A for CEOs, A  Business Strategy Bootcamp! This exclusive 3-day event, 15 hand selected business owners will come together to develop their annual business strategy. Lead by Master Business Coaches, Collette Portis and Reggi Kemp,  each business will craft a strategy to increase their revenue, social media following, community impact, and level up their network. Event date July 29-31 Atlanta, GA. Register today at redwoman.win.

This Business Strategy Bootcamp is sponsored by  RED Development Group. This team has successfully helped their clients double their revenue in as little as 10 months.

So, if you're ready to better manage your business, build your A-Team APPLY TODAY at www.redwomen.win.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

So to answer the question are all,  sociopaths, predators? I would say yes,  Sociopaths,  are always looking for their next victim. They may not be ALL in like, Jeffrey Epstein, and, Robert R Kelly; but they are, sexual  predators, who charm women, men and children out of whatever their prize is. There are, sociopaths, scamming old people out of their last dollar and have no remorse that these seniors have no funds left to live out their lives

sociopaths in history Jeffrey Dahmer
sociopaths in history Jeffrey Dahmer

The Sociopath next door

We are accustomed to think of, sociopaths, as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a, sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes, sociopaths, more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths, are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths, learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.

The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more, sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a, sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath, is beckoning, do not join the game.

[Sponsored AD]

How would you like to grow your sales in the next 90 days? Dotlogics is an eCommerce web design and growth agency that has vested interested in seeing your business grow. As more and more consumers are shopping online, now is the time to take your online business to the next level with a growth-driven website. Dotlogics can help boost your sales in 90 days. It's been a challenging year so far and Dotlogics will help you adapt your strategy to thrive in 2020. Get a custom-crafted website that's not only functional but speaks to your customers or audience in a way that moves them to action. They are seasoned online marketers. They will help design and implement digital marketing campaigns that generate more leads.

To learn more or schedule a time to talk, visit: www.dotlogics.com

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

What is the difference between a, Sociopath, and a Psychopath?

I don't use either term, you're speaking about an, antisocial personality disorder.   Several people in our lifetime like Jeffrey Dahmer's and other individuals like, Jeffrey Epstein,  can be diagnosed with, antisocial personality disorder.  The reason why I use that term,  a psychological perspective and diagnostic criteria is attached to that term.

There are seven diagnostic criteria that we would use in order to diagnose someone exhibiting, sociopath, behavior:

  • One there's a pervasive pattern as well as a disregard for and violation of the rights of others. This behavior starts occurring usually at the age of 15 years old.
  • Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest, as we saw with both, Jeffrey Epstein, and Robert R Kelly.
  • Deceitfulness very much so. Very easy for, sociopaths, to be deceitful.  Jeffrey Epstein scammed  a gentleman that he worked for out of millions of dollars.  He taught in a  school without the proper credentials.  He said he  went to certain schools and never attended the schools.
  • Repeated lying, some of these men even use aliases.  They scam others for their own profit.  Their personal profit and pleasure.
  • Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.
  • Irritability and aggressiveness as indicated by repeated fights or assaults
  • Reckless regard for safety of self and others. Consistent irresponsibility as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work, behavior or honor financial obligations.
  • Lack of remorse, indicated by being indifferent and to or rationalizing having hurt mistreated or stolen from another individual.

Are Sociopaths Narcissists?

Sociopaths are narcissists because they have no conscience, the barometer to tell you when you are doing wrong. I can imagine it may be a struggle for some, sociopaths,  so that's when they become, sexual predators. The sexual part of it with the, sexual predators,  become hard to control. It becomes an addiction.

I was actually very surprised when, Jeffrey Epstein,  did go to prison the first time for 18 months and he got himself out on a work permit, that he was still continued bringing women in to his office to have sex. The same behavior he was in prison for, he continued doing!

Ted Bundy did the same thing.  They incarcerated him and he escaped twice and continued the same behavior.  He continued the same exact behavior with those women, killing and murdering and having sexual encounters with them.

[Sponsored AD]

ChemFreeNaturally is a black women owned small business that pride themselves on vegan friendly, paraben free all natural body butters, body creams and body scrubs which will keep your skin moisturized with a natural glow. This mother and daughter team started this company after finding no beauty products that offered natural products. Visit us at https://www.chemfreenaturally.com/  Natural products for natural skin. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

That's part of the impulsive label.  I personally think that the reason, Jeffrey Epstein, did not stop or had no remorse is because he was wealthy. He didn't care about these women, he just cared about himself and his sexual desires. They called him, sociopath narcissist, you can call it, antisocial personality disorder,  all these different labels; but he knew what he was doing was wrong and he thought that he could buy his way out, and he did for quiet some time.

I was quite impressed that the first time, Jeffrey Epstein, was on trial, he had eight lawyers,  a team of eight lawyers! I am sure that cost him millions; but Robert R Kelly was poor.  I mean he couldn't even afford a proper lawyer so he's still in prison.

How are sexual predators created?

What is the, test for a, sociopath? Well that's a good intro to the, sociopaths vs Psychopaths,  and your  definition of,  anti-social Personality disorder.  How does that lead them to become, sexual predators?

I'm not just talking about, sexual predators, but the , sociopath narcissistic, piece where they have no conscience don't care about their victims, just into your fulfilling of their desires.  You mentioned Jeffrey Dahmer and you talked about Ted Bundy.  I'm assuming that you put them in this in this conversation, because they've also been diagnosed with, antisocial personality disorder, commonly called, sociopath.

These are mental health issues probably passed on from parents and grandparents. Some, sociopaths, develop after being abused as children.  Robert R Kelly was raped as a child by his aunt.

 

How would the women look for, sociopaths, out to take advantage of them?

  • Firstly, they don't want to trust. You want to be more cognizant of who you're trusting.
  • We want to be aware of someone asking you about your life in terms of your financial abilities.
  • You want to be more cognizant to the fact of strange men visiting your home.  Limit the frequency that they visit or stay in your home.  Visit their dwelling to see where they live.
  • See what their lifestyle is.  Talk to their family members don't even allow them to come to your home for at least 90 days after you meet them.

[Sponsored AD]

Have you been Furlowed by the covid-19 pandemic and Looking for an Extra Income?

We may have a Solution for You!

Head over to www.JoinFunBiz.com and partner with a team you can trust – who treat you like family – marketing ORGANIC PRODUCTS THAT WORK targeting weight loss and inflammation. We have Over 80 Natural, organic and CBD products

With everything that has been happening in the World…we all need a

Plan B! You can work part-time or full-time… You can

*   Work from home and Get paid instantly

* This is an Independent Contractor position

Take a free tour to learn more… www.JoinFunBiz.com

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

How a sexual predator chooses his victims.

The, sociopath,  or the person with, antisocial personality disorder, always chooses their victims.

The documentary said that, Jeffrey Epstein, had the ability to read his victims  and offer whatever they wanted.

I have worked with families who had children that have been sexually assaulted.  In my first intake, my first conversation with the parents, I say to the parents that their child has the 50% likelihood of being sexually assaulted again because pedophiles tend to know. They can read them. They can either pick up on the fear or the vulnerability.

They choose their victims, Robert R Kelly looked for the women with weak minds. Jeffrey Epstein, looked for girls with no parental influence, were poor or needy.

Young females have to be vigilant because people will try to manipulate them and do things to them to get them to perform sex acts.  Someone gave, Jeffrey Epstein, three twelve-year-old girls as a birthday present.  You saw some of the images of some noted men today some powerful men including Prince Andrew who hung out with, Jeffrey Epstein, they partook of these young girls.  Some of them had daughters of that same age. So mothers look out for your daughters.

I tell parents it's okay to be quote-unquote a helicopter parent.  It's okay to not let your kids spend the night over someone's house. It's okay to be a hands-on face-to-face with your kid till they are at least 18 going into college.

If you value your child's life and you do not want your child to be fractured into pieces as a result of this trauma from a, psychopath, be vigilant.  I work in the education field right now and there are people that will become educators or social workers on campuses or they'll work with the children because they know they have access to be with them alone with children.

[Sponsored AD]

High Medication Costs are Hard To Swallow! Whether you are ordering your medication online or picking it up in person during the Pandemic, we are helping patients get the most savings they need for all of their FDA approved prescription medication. Download the card once and use it forever! If you have health insurance use the card as an alternative and spend less than your copay. NO INSURANCE= GUARANTEED SAVINGS. Use at all chain pharmacies. Visit johnsonrxdiscounts.com and use code RXJohn40 for 40% a discount.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

Dr  Tra Ahia you mentioned that you have some classes that speak to this topic for women.

You are all invited to join my Facebook group called Life Coach, and of course please subscribe, rate and review this podcast on iTunes. 

Additional Resources