Matheo Galatis teaches how we can connect to our, inner guidance system, to know ourselves and to find, who are you, your beliefs systems inherited from your, genetic patterns. Once you know, who are you, then you will be able to use the, law of Attraction, to get the things you want in life.
Matheo Galatis founder of the, Know Yourself teachings, aimed at supporting you to cut through the confusion in the, personal development industry, and learn about the hidden dynamics that affect your life. He has trained over 200 professional coaches, was a director of a coaching company in South Africa, worked in organizations such as Oracle stratus, South Africa, Mars, Africa and clients from 27 different countries, ranging from successful CEOs, political and public personalities, executives, coaches, trainers, therapists, and entrepreneurs.
But they are mistaking the, personal development industry, to a whole new level by supporting people to find what he calls your, transformational why. The one thing that usually prevents people from getting, unstuck, and achieving their desires.
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We develop our belief systems from genetic patterns
Myrna: That’s an awesome Bio. It seems that you are in the work of service helping people to get to know them selves again. What was your journey to becoming a teacher of, personal development? How do we pick up these, genetic patterns?
Matheo: Essentially this is what happens. To know, who are you, and, know yourself, I explain in quite a bit of detail the different ways we take on stuff from our parents and the generations before. It can happen through observation. When we’re growing up, we have certain experiences and we observe our parents, we start mimicking what our parents do.
So, that’s one way, but it runs even deeper. Our parents, sometimes they have something unexpressed in themselves, a dream or maybe an emotion that’s suppressed. And they’ve suppressed that, they push it down. Now what happens is when they conceive a child, the DNA of the supreme shun or the suppression is obviously encoded into the gene, because everything is according to the gene.
The gene knows there’s a, suppression, and that gene goes into the child and the child now has a, suppression. Now the job of the, suppression, sharing is not to be there. The purpose is when something’s suppressed, it’s suppressed momentarily or temporarily moved and at some point in life it needs to be expressed in words.
For example, if someone has a, suppression, at a very young age and they don’t process it, its hard for them to know, who you are. They don’t work through the short stays inside the system, it’s frozen inside the, muscle memory, in the, subconscious mind, of the brain. And what happens is they continue living with us. Now if they don’t deal with it in their lifetime, that’s obviously restoring the genes and is going to get passed on to the next generation.
Children don’t do well at home, they don’t become aware of it that’s gonna get passed on, so we have something in our evolution that is already in inside of us to help us with, traumatic patterns. Some emotions are blocked, so when children are born later on life at some point they are triggered and that’s what pushes the buttons of the parents.
When children start behaving in ways the parents don’t like, I call the parent control we think wow my child is out of character. The child is not actually out of character, the child is just mirroring or expressing things that the parent doesn’t want to see inside themselves and haven’t processed within themselves.
Children will start acting out bringing forth, subconscious patterns, from their parents. A, guidance system, is your, spiritual journey, where you’ve got like a router or an angel or your higher self, and they’re communicating with you. I like to call this the, inner guidance system, is the connection to your, true self, and finding out, who are you.
Your, guidance system, helps you connect to your, true self, when you’re not connected to your, true self. When you’re connected to yourself, you’re able to distinguish in an instant, what is true and right for you versus what is not. In an instant, there is no debate in the mind. There’s just a sense of yes or a sense of no. And it’s not happening from a fear. It’s not happening from a desire, it’s happening from this, inner knowing.
These, beliefs, are part of our, belief system, there are, family patterns. So, an example with a, belief system. If you have a, belief system, I’m not worthy, how do you behave? If you’re very insecure how do you behave? The other way is to trying to cover up the perceived unworthiness and show that you’re worthy. The, belief system, I’m not worthy is a persona which is not you, it’s just a, belief system.
This belief of unworthiness can develop into a, people pleaser. I’m a, people pleaser. The, people pleaser, that person owner’s a person has developed in order not to feel the unworthiness.
Myrna: I get what you’re saying a lot of times they say the extroverts are covering up some some deep down feeling as well that’s why they need to be the life of the party.
Okay so alright so what we’re talking about though is our, inner guidance system, and, knowing yourself. What you’re saying is you let people understand that the personality that they’re projecting to the world is not real. And you help them to connect to their, inner guidance system, to know themselves.
Letting your inner guidance system uncover who you are
Matheo: Right. So that’s what I mean by, inner guidance system, is that you have a an innate intelligence telling you what’s true and right for you right now. It tells you, who you are.
Myrna: So talk about whats behind, beliefs. I know we talked about that a little bit, but maybe we can expand on it a little bit by because you said, belief systems, are difficult to resolve. So so let’s go with our example that we’re talking about this person that, you know, doesn’t feel that there were any.
So when you go into the training and coaching, you help them understand to peel away those layers and understand, who you are. They’re maybe not feeling worthy because of something they inherited or maybe something somebody said to them 40 years ago, or whatever, you need to peel that back. But why do you think it’s difficult for someone to resolve that specific, belief system?
Matheo: It is challenging working with a, belief system. A, belief system, was created a long time ago so around up to the age from conception up to the age of seven, eight years old our, belief systems, about ourselves and about life and about other people are formed.
How we perceive the world is being created, so this is at an age where the brain is just absorbing everything that is happening in the world and making associations. But a lot of people might rarely even get to that, belief system, because they’re dealing with other, belief systems.
I developed a belief of I’m shy or a persona I’m shy. And because this happened at two years old, I grew up as a shy person, knowing that oh, I’m just shy, I’m just a quiet person, so I’ll become an accountant and an auditor. Yeah, because I’m shy. So, who are you? Are you shy or an extrovert?
Train yourself to connect to your emotions, train your souls to connect to your body, so that you know how you feel at any time, whether it’s good or bad emotions doesn’t matter, connect to them. Allow yourself to have these emotions, because that’s how you’re going to go down into the, beliefs, and into the other aspects that are hidden inside of you.
And that’s what we want to identify and remove what’s hidden. Because when you remove what’s hidden, then you start to become more and more free.
Myrna: And that’s how you, know yourself, and find out, who you are. This is what we’re talking about here. I had a short stint with a therapist. I talked to her for about a month or so, and one of the things I got from those sessions was not to stuff down my feelings but to catch them and breathe into them.
This has been an incredible conversation to highlight your skills highlight what you do for people. And I will tell you there’s so many people that are walking around don’t know, who they are. I don’t want to use I use the word broken, but people become broken from past traumas. So what you what you’re doing is phenomenal. Tell us how somebody can sign up or how you offer this training.
Matheo: The teachers that came before me and many researchers and scientists know that the subconscious runs our life. We’re able to to retrain and recondition the subconscious, but doing it the correct way is important. We have to uncover what’s causing In the subconscious mind to dictate our lives. So I put together the, Know Yourself teachings, and this essentially explains step by step how finding out, who you are, works, how thoughts become, beliefs, how emotions work.
Using your inner guidance system to find out who you are
Emotions, are like a garden system, we go in and out gamify. Not listening to your, inner guidance system, does not bring you back on track.
Myrna: So explain how our, internal guidance system, works when we’re not listening to our own, inner guidance.
Matheo: I go through the five different ways that we take on stuff from our parents, help clients realize that there was are many patterns running their life. Many of them was the specifically looking at the, family patterns.
Welcome to the Mindset Transformation radio show and Podcast. Today Dr. Marcia Reynolds is going to teach us “4 Techniques to, Outsmart your Brain” Relax, Detach, gain clarity and ask yourself, How do I want to feel?
But First in keeping with that theme I want to share with you one of the classic stories of how our Brain can Outsmart us.
Acres of Diamonds
There once lived not far from the River Indus an ancient Persian by the name of Al Hafed. Al Hafed owned a very large farm with orchards, grain fields and gardens. He was a contented and wealthy man—contented because he was wealthy, and wealthy because he was contented. One day there visited this old farmer one of those ancient Buddhist priests, and he sat down by Al Hafed’s fire and told that old farmer how this world of ours was made.
He said that this world was once a mere bank of fog and the Almighty thrust his finger into the bank of fog and then began slowly to move his finger around and gradually to increase the speed of his finger until at last he whirled that bank of fog into a solid ball of fire, and it went rolling through the universe, burning its way through other cosmic banks of fog, until it condensed the moisture without, and fell in floods of rain upon the heated surface and cooled the outward crust.
Then the internal flames burst through the cooling crust and threw up the mountains and made the hills and the valleys of this wonderful world of ours. If this internal melted mass burst out and cooled very quickly it became granite; that which cooled less quickly became silver; and less quickly, gold; and after gold, diamonds were made. Said the old priest, “A, diamond, is a congealed drop of sunlight.”
Finding your diamonds in your back yard
This is a scientific truth also. You all know that a diamond is pure carbon, actually deposited sunlight. The old priest told Al Hafed that if he had a handful of diamonds he could purchase a whole country, and with a mine of diamonds he could place his children upon thrones through the influence of their great wealth.
Al Hafed heard all about, diamonds, and how much they were worth, and went to his bed that night a poor man—not that he had lost anything, but poor because he was discontented and discontented because he thought he was poor. He said: “I want a mine of, diamonds!” So he lay awake all night, and early in the morning sought out the priest.
Reminds me of the story I tell my children about the dog and his shadow. If you are not familiar, a dog is walking over a bridge and sees another dog with a bone. He decides he wants that bone as well and jumps in and loses the bone he has in his mouth because what he saw was not another dog but his own shadow. It is a story of discontent and greed!
Getting back to our story. Al Hafed woke the priest out of his dreams and said to him, “Will you tell me where I can find, diamonds?” The priest said, “Diamonds? What do you want with diamonds?” “I want to be immensely rich,” said Al Hafed, “but I don’t know where to go.” “Well,” said the priest, “if you will find a river that runs over white sand between high mountains, in those sands you will always see, diamonds.”
“Do you really believe that there is such a river asked al Hafed?” The priest replied “Plenty of them, plenty of them; all you have to do is just go and find them, then you have them.” Al Hafed said, “I will go.” So he sold his farm, collected his money at interest, left his family in charge of a neighbor, and away he went in search of diamonds.
He began at the Mountains of the Moon. Afterwards he went around into Palestine, then wandered on into Europe, and at last, when his money was all spent, and he was in rags, wretchedness and poverty, he stood on the shore of that bay in Barcelona, Spain, when a tidal wave came rolling in through the Pillars of Hercules and the poor, afflicted, suffering man could not resist the awful temptation to cast himself into that incoming tide, and he sank beneath its foaming crest, never to rise in this life again.
Now, Al Hafed’s successor one day led his camel out into the garden to drink, and as that camel put its nose down into the clear water of the garden brook Al Hafed’s successor noticed a curious flash of light from the sands of the shallow stream, and reaching in he pulled out a black stone having an eye of light that reflected all the colors of the rainbow, and he took that curious pebble into the house and left it on the mantel, then went on his way and forgot all about it.
A few days after that, this same old priest who told Al Hafed how diamonds were made, came in to visit his successor, when he saw that flash of light from the mantel. He rushed up and said, “Here is a, diamond,—here is a diamond! Has Al Hafed returned?” “No, no; Al Hafed has not returned and that is not a diamond; that is nothing but a stone; we found it right out here in our garden.” “But I know a, diamond, when I see it,” the priest said; “this is a diamond!”
Then together they rushed to the garden and stirred up the white sands with their fingers and found others more beautiful, more valuable, diamonds, than the first, and thus were discovered the diamond mines of Golconda, the most magnificent diamond mines in all the history of mankind, exceeding the Kimberley in its value. The great Kohinoor diamond in England’s crown jewels and the largest crown diamond on earth in Russia’s crown jewels came from that mine.
The moral to the story is had Al Hafed remained at home and dug in his own cellar or in his own garden he would have had, acres of diamonds.
We are all, Acres of Diamonds, Each and every one of us is unique with acres of talent and gifts. If we dig we will find them. Don’t be like Al Hafed and go looking for riches elsewhere. You are all, diamonds, in the rough.
Now let me tell you a little more of our guest today.
Dr. Marcia Reynolds is fascinated by the, brain, especially how to, outsmart your brain, what sparks feelings of connection, commitment, and possibility. She is able to draw on her research to help leaders have more meaningful conversations that inspire change. She has delivered workshops in 35 countries and has presented at the Harvard Kennedy School, Cornell University, and the Edwards School of Management in Canada.
Marcia is a true pioneer in the coaching profession. She was the 5th global president of the International Coach Federation and is the training director for the Healthcare Coaching Institute at Virginia Tech. She also teaches for coaching schools in Russia and China.
Interviews and excerpts from her books, Outsmart Your Brain, Wander Woman, and her latest, The Discomfort Zone: How Leaders Turn Difficult Conversations into Breakthroughs have appeared in many places including Fast Company, CNN.com, Psychology Today, and The Wall Street Journal and she has appeared on ABC World News.
Marcia’s doctoral degree is in organizational psychology with an emphasis on the needs of strong, smart women in today’s corporations. She also holds two master’s degrees in education and communications.
Show Notes:
• What do mean by, Outsmart your brain.
The primary purpose of the, brain, is to protect you and to keep you safe.
Anytime you say something to someone that is critical they get defensive and they get defensive without thought. To, outsmart your brain, is really about making good choices. Stopping and asking what is my, brain, perceiving here and what is really true. You have to know how to stop, breathe and make good choices.
You have to shift your emotions. Take 10 sec to remember to care, take 10 sec to realize that this person is not trying to hurt me.
You have to change your emotion to change your thought to, outsmart your brain.
Here are the 4 Techniques to change your emotions and outsmart your brain.
1. Relax your body, release the tension. Take a breath let it out
2. Clear your mind. Quickly drop your mind to the center of your body
3. Center your mind on your Chi or 2nd Chakra
4. Choose how you want to feel.
• What prompts your brain to do things that sabotage your best intentions
The brain perceives a threat to something so it protects you.
If you are afraid it sees danger and sabotages your efforts.
• Is there something we can do to stop reacting?
You have to understand your emotions triggers.
They are there to protect you.
Like respect in the workplace.
The, brain, reacts because it may think that someone is trying to take control over you
• How can we use our heart and brain to control our emotions?
Quiet your mind and ask your mind or gut. What should I do?
Take a breath and go into your heart and then you usually say something better
When your heart and your gut is open then you have access to all three of your brains
Your brain, your heart and your gut.
• Are the brains of men and women wired differently?
We are born with the same wiring but whatever is rewarded as we aged that is what we become. Women were more head and gut based and men were more head based but that is changing.
Men are becoming more heart based because they are being raised by women.
Entrepreneurship, is the process of setting up a business. For, entrepreneurs, battling, mental illness, controlling their, emotions, is their superpowers, when it comes to building a business of our dreams.
My guest today is Scout Sobel. She is the author of the “Emotional Entrepreneur” and we are going to be having a very interesting conversation today on, mental health, specifically the, mental health, of entrepreneurs. As you consider, entrepreneurship, you need to understand how our, emotions, guide you in everyday life.
Scout experienced her first depressive episode at the age of 14 and was formally diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, at the age of 20. Living with a, mental illness, brought an onslaught of symptoms: anxiety, hypomania, depression, catatonia, psychosis, and, suicidal ideation.
Her perception of her life weighed down on her so poignantly that she dropped out of college, could not hold a job or internship, was hospitalized, experimented with medleys of prescription medication, and went through two outpatient programs.
One day her husband (then boyfriend) looked at her lovingly and said, “I don’t care if you’re depressed. If you are depressed and hopeful, I can be in this relationship. If you are depressed and hopeless, I can’t do this with you.”
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That was the moment her life changed. She started infusing her life with hope and began to take radical responsibility for her emotional state. And after intense, self-development, work – support groups, holistic healing modalities, prayer, routines, and physical wellness, she found, entrepreneurship. Through, entrepreneurship, she learned to unconditionally love her life through the pain, challenges, and celebrations. She learned that she wanted to be here.
Today, Scout is the Founder and CEO of Scout’s Agency, a female-focused PR agency that specializes in getting women as guests on, podcasts.
Her debut book, The Emotional Entrepreneur, provides the, mindset, and, emotional tools, she learned from managing her, mental illness, that have helped her succeed in business and, entrepreneurship.
Entrepreneurship and mental illness
Myrna: I want to start off with something you say in your book “The Emotional Entrepreneur”, you said that our, emotions, are our guiding superpowers when it comes, entrepreneurship, and building a business of our dreams. How did your, emotions, guide you to become an, entrepreneur?
Scout: Very shortly after I was diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, my husband said those sentences that changed my life and I started infusing hope into my days. Which beautifully led me to faith through that process of showing up to support groups, writing gratitude lists etc. My gratitude list and my journal, every single morning reading every self-help book Barnes and Noble had to offer.
I was sitting with my friend at a coffee shop and we were looking through an Indie magazine (I love fashion magazines). I just looked at her and I asked do you want to start a magazine with me? She said yes, let’s do it. We were going to print it at Kinko’s and pass it out to our friends for free. This was going to be a borderline arts and crafts project.
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Suddenly, something in my mind just flipped and immediately I went home. I got the Instagram handle, I searched for printers in the area and then set up five appointments with all the best printers in 50 mile vicinity. I went to see them and then they quoted me ten thousand dollars. I said to myself, ‘I have to find ten thousand dollars’.
Then, I started a kick starter campaign and fast forward, our second issue was picked up by national distributor and sold in newsstands across the country. I was 22 at the time.
The third issue had musician Halsey on the cover and I woke up to an email from Barnes and Noble asking if they could distribute my magazine as well.
So, in that three-issue process of, entrepreneurship, and running that magazine, I went from the girl that had to pull herself out of bed, to becoming an, entrepreneur, who was in charge of everything. It was like walking through quicksand. I couldn’t deal with responsibility. I became the girl that over functioned. I became the girl that went the extra mile in such a short time.
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I found out that, entrepreneurship, was two things that I felt:
Entrepreneurship, has the same highs and lows as, bipolar disorder. My mind could really understand the emotional pattern behind it.
I was unable to show up for the responsibilities in my life, because I always had a psychiatrist note that could excuse me. I didn’t have to go to friend’s birthday party because I had a, mental illness. All my friends would understand or try to understand etc.
I really used my, mental illness, as a, crutch, to avoid responsibility and avoid showing up in my life in the ways that I really needed to, but when it came to, entrepreneurship, there was no note a psychiatrist could write out because I couldn’t tap out of it .
If I tapped out, the whole thing would fall apart, so it was almost this contradictory paradox. I had to have all the responsibility on my shoulders in order for me to show up, I had to be completely present in every aspect. So, I found in the beginning of, entrepreneurship, that I showed up because I had the freedom to create what I wanted to create and I couldn’t call in sick, that didn’t work anymore.
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The entrepreneurship path leads to happiness
Myrna: I also believe that, happiness, is working towards a goal and there is no better goal than when you’re working for yourself and you’re trying to grow your business as an, entrepreneur. I also like your confession that you were using the doctor’s notes as a cop-out in life.
A lot of people do that, they lead with their illnesses. It doesn’t even have to be, mental illness, it could be a physical illness and they lead with that. Oh! I can’t do this because of this, mental illness, it’s a cop-out because we know being in the inspirational space, that people overcome challenges all the time.
They defy odds and do amazing things with no hands and no legs.
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Scout: I think it’s important. I don’t know if it’s touched upon enough and it’s something I say that can ruffle feathers or maybe trigger some people. I was addicted to my, depression. My, depression, my anxiety and my, mental illness, while it kept me in such distress and pain and chaos and crying fits and, anxiety attacks.
It kept me in my comfort zone, it kept me in the predictable, it kept me in what my body was used to. So, in many ways, it held me back from my healing because it said “no, that freedom out there, that’s unknown – (we don’t know what’s going to happen over there).
Let’s just stay in the pain so we can predict what’s happening, we know how this is going to go. It prevented me and allowed me not go through my formative early 20s not assuming responsibility for my emotional state.
So my, mental illness, was very real and tangible, and loves to visit me at times when I would prefer it not to.
There was a lot of moments and I think most of my suffering came from the fact that I allowed myself to play the victim. I blamed the cards that I was dealt on my despair and suffering. The minute I realized and took responsibility and accepted that these were the cards that I was dealt, I started to use my emotional landscape as my superpower.
Today, ten years after being diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, and 16 years after having my first depressive episode, I feel wildly safe in my, emotions.
I think they are my biggest teachers, mentors and guides. They have helped me with, entrepreneurship. They are the reasons I am successful with Scott’s Agency. I also started recognizing that when I got into, entrepreneurship, this game was a, personal development, game. It wasn’t a play, it wasn’t a market strategy (those are all parts of it) but at the end of the day, successful, entrepreneurs, are successful because of their emotional strength and their, mindset.
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I saw that so many women who had the resources, the education, the access to funds, are not getting into the game of their dreams because of self-doubt, because of fear and anxiety. That’s when I woke up. My, bipolar disorder, primed me to walk through emotional hell, to gather the strength and the tools that I could then apply to living out my purpose (which is running Scouts Agency, writing books etc).
So, once I realized that it was the emotional landscape that was holding us all back from success, that’s when the light bulb went off in my brain.
Myrna: Yes, it’s true our, emotions, dictate the quality of our lives which is basically why I named this show “Transform your Mind to transform your life” because if you believe that you can, you can. And if you have this, crutch, that says you were born poor or you were born black or you were born with a, mental illness, or you were born with whatever, crutch, that you want to tell yourself, that prevents you from moving forward, and your life is not going to be transformed.
Scout: Everyone can find a, crutch, no matter who they are, no matter if their life is technically great on paper or technically really unfortunate circumstances, we can all easily rely on a, crutch.
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Entrepreneurship and the emotional ride of uncertainty
Myrna: How can, entrepreneurs, handle the emotional rollercoaster and what kind of, mindset shifts, that they need in order to become a successful, entrepreneur? You talked about your purpose and the fact that your, bipolar disorder, with your highs and lows allowed you to have the emotional strength to become an, entrepreneur.
Let’s talk about the, entrepreneur, that is doing everything. What kind of advice would you give to that, entrepreneur, (female) let’s say that wants to start a magazine or a hair salon or something and has to deal with all the aspects of, entrepreneurship, and the uncertainty?
Scout: First cultivate the belief that you’re safe in your, emotions, and then unconditionally accept that uncomfortable, emotions, are highly part of this game and that you will survive them.
That you are safe in your, emotions, and that you can reduce the suffering above the pain. What I mean by that is if you can limit the, anxiety, about the, anxiety, or the sadness about the, depression, we can work with the root cause. Uncomfortable, emotions, and really understand what it’s trying to tell us, that makes you an, entrepreneur.
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So, before you jump into the game, understand that you’re going to be juggling all the hats.
You’re going to be the customer service expert,
The graphic designer,
You’re going to be the social media manager
The sales manager.
The website designer
All these roles that you have to figure out. On top of that you’re going to have to walk through the uncomfortable discomfort that comes with that responsibility. So, know and accept that’s part of the game.
It’s really suiting up and really pulling in from your personal power and strength. It’s not expecting that, entrepreneurship, is going to be easy, fun and glamorous. That you’re always in alignment, you’re flowing with creative ideas and your courses are selling out with six figure launches automatically etc. The fires will come more often than the successes.
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Myrna: As a Lifecoach, I understand what you’re trying to say, but it’s a very hard pill to swallow, because people go into, entrepreneurship, with the dream of riches and wealth and they don’t necessarily go into it thinking of the fires. They understand it’s hard work, but it’s very hard to smile and say I’m going to walk through the fire. Tony Robbins, make you do the fire walk and I’m pretty sure that’s what it’s setting you up for that you can walk through the fire and not get burnt.
I follow Dwayne Dwyer and he talks about, living from the end. So let’s say that you become an, entrepreneur, for a certain end purpose or end game. When you’re walking through the fire, if you can see that end then it will give you the strength in order to not chuck it in and to move forward.
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Entrepreneurs need to prioritize their mental health
You said that every, entrepreneur, should prioritize their, mental health, but not every, entrepreneur, is going to have, depression, or, bipolar disorder. However, mental health, covers a gamut of things. So what’s your advice on that?
Scout: When I wrote the ‘Emotional Entrepreneur’, it was really not for the mentally ill. I think the beauty of the conversation about, mental illness, that it is coming to the forefront in the last few years. When I was diagnosed 10 years ago, no one is talking about, mental illness. Now the conversation is beautifully being opened. In the conversation about, mental illness, being open, the conversation about everyone’s daily, mental health, is being opened and that’s really the people I want to talk to.
All of my messages are not for those who struggle with, mental illness, it’s for those who have, mental health, which is all of us. I think, for too long we’ve been told that if we don’t have a, mental illness, then there’s nothing we get to prioritize. When our experience here on earth is based on how we relate to our, emotions, and many times we act in spite of our, emotions, when our, higher self, knows better or our, higher self, would have had a different plan for us.
Mental health is not only for people diagnosed with mental illness
So, if you’re an, entrepreneur, and you are listening and you’re like; ‘well, I’m going to go through fires, I’m going to go through ups and downs, I’m going to have to figure out whatever messed up our product or makes a client unhappy. Now, I got to figure out how to make payroll and all of those things you might as well emotionally feel safe during that process because your business is going to soar if you are emotionally sound and strong within.
Myrna: I’m glad you’re saying that, mental health, is not necessary for people that have been diagnosed with, mental illness, but it’s very important to keep your, mental health, strong.
One of the things that I love about your bio is that you talk about your prescription medication for the people that have been diagnosed with, mental illness. Can you share your journey?
Scout: This month celebrates one year of being, psychiatry medication, free and I don’t say that to promote the stigma or to promote anyone to go off their medication. I simply say because, psychiatry medication, got me to a point where I was able to go off them and then flourish in my life. Though, there were a lot of dark moments with me and my trial and error for medication.
If anyone is listening to this, and he’s considering, psychiatry medication, for a, mental illness, diagnosis or, mental health, diagnosis, and he’s feeling ashamed around that, I really invite you to end that shame and that stigma. There are times in our lives where we need to take things to physically and mentally treat our illnesses, our bodies, our spirits and souls etc. I never felt shame around taking the, psychiatric medication.
I really invite you to not passively wait for, psychiatry medication, to come save your mental state, but to really recognize that it’s just a little boost and the rest you really have to show up for. The idea that, psychiatry medication, is going to heal you completely, for me was very helpful because I wasn’t just passively playing the victim and waiting for something else to take over me and heal me. Medication really does a very small percentage of your healing for you.
Psychiatry medication is just the launching pad to healing
Psychiatry medication, can provide that launching pad, but really get ready for yourself to show up for you. I would say to really be your own advocate in the psychiatry office, ask about the symptoms, ask about what’s coming off the medication, ask about the withdrawals, do I have to ease off for two months?
I say this because I was put on a, psychiatry medication, where I was not given the correct information about the withdrawals and it was a really traumatic experience for me. So, it’s really good to ask about the side effects.
The Emotional Entrepreneur
Myrna: Can you tell us about your book “The Emotional Entrepreneur”? You said it was not written for people that have been diagnosed specifically with, mental illness, but to help people prioritize, mental health. I like that play on words. What do you want the readers to walk away after reading your book?
Scout: The Emotional Entrepreneur is really the emotional guidebook for, entrepreneurship. If you are someone who wants to start an agency, a podcast, a product based business, a life coaching, career etc; you might be purchasing books on how to manage clients. You might even be purchasing books on how to hit six figures, you might be purchasing books on how to close more sales, deals, how to brand your website etc, this book is the emotional part of all of that. This is going to be your guidebook towards navigating fear, combating impostor syndrome and enjoying yourself along the way.
By celebrating small wins and believing in yourself, it’s going to help you reframe your relationship to your, anxiety, as you get started. It’s going to make you understand that, entrepreneurship, and starting your own business is the biggest personal development game, and you get to be emotionally supported in that.
Myrna: How can readers connect with you on social media or get a copy of your book?
Scout: You can follow me on Instagram ‘@scoutsobel’, that’s the best place to connect with me. In my bio, there are links to Scout’s Agency, my podcast and you can buy the book there. You can as well get the book on Amazon when you search for “The Emotional Entrepreneur by Scott Sobel”.
Myrna: One of my biggest takeaways about, depression, was reading the book; “The Work” by Byron Katie. I mean I have never actually heard of a, depression, like she went through. She said that she was so depressed that she had to put herself in a halfway house, and she laid on the floor and couldn’t get up and couldn’t move until one day she decided to change her inner dialogue and change her mindset.
Thank you guys all supporting the Transform Your Mind podcast, please leave us a review on iTunes if you found this content inspirational.
Your, unconscious mind, is carrying out behaviors that sabotage your, conscious mind, 24 hours per day. In fact studies show that our, subconscious, mind, is running our lives 95% of the time. If you don’t, reprogram your subconscious mind, you will continue to run the same, subconscious programs, like a a tape recorder. We have to erase the tape and rewrite the tape for it to play new programs. Listen to the interview to learn how to, reprogram your unconscious mind.
Listen to the full interview here:
Introduction, Unconscious mind
Whenever you are on autopilot, you are running, unconscious mind. Have you ever gotten in your car and driven to your destination and you don’t recall how you got there. That is your, unconscious mind, driving you to your destination.
Autopilot is just one of your, subconscious programs, that has to do with your beliefs.
These, subconscious programs, were downloaded to you before your 7th birthday are the programs your, unconscious mind, play until you die; unless you, reprogram your subconscious mind.
Even if you become aware of your, subconscious programs, you still continue the behaviors because the, unconscious mind, will keep playing the same, subconscious programs. Think about your vinyl record. Unless you scratch the record, it will play the same song forever!
When I was growing up my activity of choice was reading Harlequin romances. I was brainwashed into believing that love looked and acted in a certain way. For example, all the leading men in my Harlequin romance novels, were rugged, tall, dark and good looking. All the leading ladies were independent and did not want a man’s help; so the man and the woman ended up feuding and hating each other until they realized that all, this attention they are placing on each other fighting, were actually the flip side of love!
These lovers, leading men and ladies were never a good match. Chemistry and raw physical attraction lead the way. Thirty years later, I was still playing that, subconscious program, It wasn’t until I met my husband that I started looking on the inside of a man, and not what he presented on the outside that I was able to, reprogram my unconscious mind,
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I was listening to a sermon by, Joel Osteen, a few months back and he was telling the story of, subconscious programs, with his sister. Joel said his sister was praying and asking God for a husband and God sent her a wonderful man; but she rejected him because he had red hair. He did not fit her, subconscious programs, for a mate. It took her years to reprogram her mindset and love this man.
Did you grow up in a home where your dad worked and your mom stayed home and watched the kids? You never saw your dad because he was always working and your family just had enough? That is your model of a family and today you are probably still running this, subconscious programs,
What is your, Unconscious Mind, that needs to be rewritten?
I was a foster mom for years. I see the, unconscious mind, in foster and adopted kids all the time. Especially since most of them came into foster care system before their 7th birthday. They developed programs on, abandonment, attachment disorders, survival, most of them hoard food because their, unconscious mind, and lack and survival.
Here are 5, subconscious programs, Teenagers are running today
Make generalizations (no one loves me, I’m always going to be a failure, I’ll never get a job or pass this test)
Make choices and judgment based on past experiences.
3. Settle in life, don’t apply for jobs or get involved in extra curricular activities.
4. Reviews information and draws conclusions.
If someone breaks their heart, they learn to not trust people – to avoid being hurt again. If living in poverty, feel like will never get enough money to make it out of poverty. If get in a fight, feel they always need to protect them self
5. Accepts information literally and personally (take a lot of things said to heart, but not as constructive criticism)
A mental picture is worth a thousand words. Your, unconscious mind, will bring to pass any picture held in the mind and backed by faith.
This is the space I am spending a lot of time in, at the moment. I am working on visualizing my goals and desires and speaking, affirmations. I am having a hard time of it, because I am not a visual person. But this is the first step in controlling the, unconscious mind, Visualizing what you want. Let the, unconscious mind, find the way, you only have to give it the destination.
For example if you want to be married by the age of 30 and have 3 kids. That is the mental picture you give your, unconscious mind, The universe will find the man and arrange the kids! Just say, affirmations, every day to reprogram your, unconscious mind.
Daily Affirmations, like:
I will get married to the man of my dreams by age 30
The Universe will deliver to me the man of my dreams by the time I am 30
I will get married by age 30 and have 3 kids by age 35
Remember to give your, unconscious mind, only instructions that would elevate and heal. It is the secret to your success. Your, unconscious mind, cannot take a joke. Don’t say things like with my luck the man that shows up would be bowed legged with buck teeth! Because guess what, hold that image in your mind for any length of time and that is what you will get, a bow legged man with buck teeth. Trust me on this.
About 10 years ago I read, Deepak Chopra’s, book called “Grow Younger, Live Longer” In this book Deepak taught us to say, affirmations, every day. It went like this.
Daily Affirmations for aging younger
Every day, in every way, I am getting younger and younger,
my biological clock is set at a healthy 30 years of age,
I look and feel a healthy 30 years of age.
Every day I am renewing my mind and body by eating healthy foods,
I take nutritional supplements wisely, etc.
I don’t remember all of it. I was saying these, affirmations, around my 40th birthday. So over 20 years ago. I still remember those, affirmations, because I said them every day for several months.
This year on my 60th birthday, I posted a picture on Facebook and this girl commented. She said “It is like you stopped aging at 30 years old. You just said F**K it! I am not getting any older! I do look 20 years younger than my chronological age and that’s because I rewrote my, subconscious programs,!
How to Rewrite Your Subconscious Mind
In my, conscious mind, I was always planning out my future and all things I wanted it to entail. I told myself, you will never be broke, you’re a go getter and you will always meet your basic necessities because of that. This mindset, relays into my life because it reminds me that failure is never an option and all things are possible because I know it is.
Many times, I feel that I have programmed my, unconscious mind, for the success. I heal myself faster from injuries. For example, one time my eye was swollen, and I had a workshop coming up in 2 days. I said to my, subconscious mind, don’t sweat it, you are going to get a warm rag and sleep with it on your eye, then you will use antibiotics and by the day of your workshop it will be gone.
Sure enough, the eye was not swollen anymore and I was able to facilitate my workshop with two functional eyes. Furthermore, despite all the adversity I have experienced in my life, I was always sure that I would finish University and get my degree. I programmed my, unconscious mind, to prepare for the test.
Remember the, unconscious mind, is carrying out behaviors that sabotage the, conscious mind.
Our, subconscious programs, doesn’t stop at age 7; but continues for the rest of our lives.
Take risks to get past, subconscious programs, Your, unconscious mind, always wants to play it safe.
Ask questions like, What else is possible that I have not considered?
Say things like, how cool is it that I have all this extra money.
4. What am I going to do with all this extra cash?
5. How can I make this a reality?
6. What if I become a successful as a TV talk show host? What would that look like? See yourself in this role. This one is for me!!
Conclusion reprogram your unconscious mind
This strategy is called, auto inquisition. Thomas Edison practiced, auto inquisition. He would sit in a chair and ask his, unconscious mind, questions about an invention. You can do the same.
Give yourself permission to be successful, believe that you deserve good things to happen
Don’t allow other peoples fears to make you doubt yourself.
Surround yourself with positive reinforcement and allies.
Speak your success as present fact not a future plan. Instead of saying I am figuring out how to do that now, say I am strategist. What do I need to make that happen right now.
Start asking for what you want and keep track of all the things that have happened (gratitude journal)
Create a vision space, so you can imagine what it is you want to happen in your life.
Additional Resources Unconscious mind
“Keeping a healthy mind is important to have a balanced life. Mental health training can help you enhance self-awareness providing tips and knowledge about this topic”.
Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement is a book written to encourage women of color who were born in lack. It showcases my, personal growth, journey and how I got, out of the snares, of poverty and, child abuse.
This is my interview on the Books of the Month show on www.ptwwntv.com
Listen to the interview:
Introduction to Out Of the Snares
Myrna – I am a, life coach, I host a show on the preach the word television network called Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life, one of the reasons that I wrote the book, Out of the Snares, is because I believe and I wanted to encourage women that it is not where we come from, but where we end up that’s important.
It’s also the only way that we can go through that transition like from a caterpillar to a butterfly is if we allow the things that happen to us in life help us with, personal growth. We should use challenges to transform ourselves and for our, personal development.
So, the book, Out of the Snares, is basically a story of my life. I wrote it from a, life coaching, perspective with 10 principles of, life experiences, that happened to me and what I learned from those, life experiences.
I’m a, life coach, but I do most of my coaching on my show Transform Your Mind. It is a radio, podcast and a television show.
Dr O.C Pringle: You’re doing it all sister Young, you’re doing it all right and so of course your inspiration would be your, life’s experience, and, child abuse. let’s talk about that.
Out of the Snares of Child Sexual Abuse
Myrna: I was, sexually abused, as a child in Guyana by a family friend. He was technically my Godfather, but being from a third world country, a very poor country and he was very rich.
We would call him a, pedophile, he showered me with a lot of attention, and bought me a lot of gifts and then took advantage of that.
I didn’t realize that we were doing anything wrong until I became 13 and started having Boyfriends.
DR O.C Pringle: Until you became what? Wait how old were you?
Myrna: This, sexual abuse, began at age 10.
Dr O.C Pringle: Wow did anything ever happen to this guy?
Myrna: No, because like most children I didn’t say anything about it. I told no one. This book was my first experience talking about it and I in my 40’s when I wrote, Out of the Snares. My dad read the book and was very upset that he did not know this was going on.
Children carry a lot of shame regarding, sexual abuse, I still carried shame when I wrote, Out of the Snare. As you can see I used my maiden name Trotman for the author name.
Dr. O.C Pringle: So, you placed Myrna Bernadette Trotman on the cover of the book, because you didn’t want people to know it was you, but your picture is on the cover!!
Myrna: I started to release shame when I started talking about the, sexual abuse, and when I learnt that children can’t give consent for sex. So whatever guilt and shame that I had attached to my, sexual abuse, I released it.
Dr O.C Pringle: Well listen it worked out for your good, but all things work together for the good of them that loved God and are called according to his, purpose, so your, sexual abuse, worked in your favor. You were able to redirect that energy into something positive where you’re helping people all over the world. You’re on radio and on television, yes you are some kind of a woman.
Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement
Myrna: Out of the Snares, is made up of 10 principles in life that we should live by:
Keep Your, Vision, in Front of you– Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of vision casting.
The events in your life whether good or bad, work together for good– God said I know your expected end. Stay the course; don’t give up until you win.
Let the, Universal Laws of Attraction, the, Laws of Intention, work for you– Ask and it will be given unto you.
Have a, Positive Mindset– Take control of your thoughts and attitudes. Get rid of ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts)
Use what you have in your hand– You were created with a purpose; God gave you the skills and talents you need to complete your task. Stop waiting for the right time.
Be intentional about your Growth– Be proactive, be intentional, build on your gifts, and continually improve.
If you build it, they will come“ Be a servant first.
Find your Passion– it is the Fire in your belly. Become conscious of what lights you up. God put that Fire in your belly as a beacon to achieve your purpose.
Love– it is what makes this Human experience worthwhile. Love yourself first. Love is spirit, God is spirit.
Business Consciousness– how to create a startup company and succeed in marketing.
Most of the time our, self-communication, is negative. Our, negative self-talk, is different from the way we talk to our friends for example. So we need to tell ourselves “I don’t like the way you talk to me”
My guest today all the way from the UK is Cheyne Towers. Cheyne is a hypnotherapist and, self-communication, expert and we are going to be talking today on, negative self-talk, and, mindfulness.
Listen to the full interview here:
Cheyne Towers. London-based hypnotherapist Cheyne Towers has been helping people to transform how they speak toward themselves for the best part of two decades. Through simple yet profound understanding he has successfully helped many who have suffered trauma, abuse, depression, and anxiety. Now the co-founder of The Dialogue of Self Liberation, Cheyne is sharing this practical transformational system online, helping people to develop The Mindfulness of Self-Communication, and nurture self-forgiveness and self-compassion. Always willing to connect Cheyne can regularly be found hosting the TDSL Global Community Calls, where he provides continuing support to people around the world who wish to improve and enhance the quality of their self-communications. As a lifelong martial artist, Cheyne has also developed seated Qigong for people with mobility challenges, and also teaches workshops at Sword Punk traditional weapons-training festival in the UK.
Does being a martial artist help with self communication?
Myrna – You are a martial artist and a, self-communication, expert. Martial art is a very controlled sport, so it lends to having control of your, mind. Can you share your journey from martial art to, mindfulness? You mentioned that you’re helping people who have suffered, trauma, or, abuse, and depression.
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Cheyne – From an early age, I had an interest in, inner development, self-development, meditation, and those kinds of practices. I started practicing martial art around 17 years old. I’m currently 55 years old and that’s been a constant throughout my life.
I never wanted to become a therapist, but through mutual friends, I was introduced to it by a very experienced, hypnotherapist. I studied with him as his personal student for the last four years of his life and during that time he took me through a process that totally transformed my life on every level for the better.
How I let go of my Negative Self-talk and repetitive patterns
Unbeknown to me, I’d spent 20 years of my life engaging in very, negative repetitive patterns of, self-talk, giving myself a very hard time, beating myself up, blaming myself for not being good enough, for having been a failure in relationships and many other things.
I didn’t realize that I was doing it. I hadn’t got a clue and he helped me in a very clear and methodical way to identify those unhelpful habits and, negative beliefs, that I’d picked up along the way about myself.
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Myrna – Did he put you under under, hypnotherapy, or did he just talk to you?
Cheyne – He used the methodology of developing the, mindfulness, of, self-communication. The very first thing he had me do was to develop the skill of monitoring the dialogue I was speaking to myself. Moment to moment what are you actually saying to yourself, about yourself now in this moment is very important to stopping, negative self-talk.
You need to develop the skill of listening to what you’re actually telling yourself and your, negative self-talk, from moment to moment. I bet you will discover that you don’t like the way you speak to yourself.
What are the stories you picked up along the way that no longer serve you? There’s a responsibility that we have toward ourselves, with regards to, how we speak to ourselves about ourselves. We program ourselves through our, self-communications, but then we begin to utilize the more creative aspects of the imagination which is more the formal.
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Hypnosis, or, self-hypnosis, is sometimes necessary to stop the, negative self-talk. Let’s say somebody can’t stop the, negative self-talk, about themselves because all their life they were hearing things like:
you’re not good enough.
you’ll never be nothing.
you will never amount to anything.
You will never be a success in life.
Myrna – Now they’re mindful of it because they’re listening. Can they stop without, hypnotherapy?
Can we stop the negative self-talk without Hypnotherapy?
Cheyne – I don’t like the term, hypnotherapy, or, hypnotherapist, because I think it’s a loaded term and people have many misconceptions about what, hypnotherapy, actually is. So I tend to describe that aspect of the work as I help people to harness the creative power of their imagination, so that they learn how to work with it, rather than be a slave to it.
Myrna – Hypnotherapy, migrates and it changes, so now you’re using the term, creative imagination. How did the martial arts piece fit in to your, negative self-talk?
Cheyne – That’s a great question. I use a lot of metaphors and symbolism in this work because the metaphors and symbols convey things to the, subconscious mind. Which is where we need to make the alterations in the trigger mechanisms that are built up because of our experiences.
There’s a saying a very old Chinese saying the mind leads the chi
This is true of everything in life. If we fixate our thinking in a particular way, if we imagine a particular scenario that is what we attract into our lives. The mind leads the Chi!
When we think about those negative imaginings, our energy, our Chi, gets poured into those molds and we kind of become that shape.
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Myrna – I’m a, Life coach, I know that I’m not good enough is one of the top, negative self-talk, or, self-communication, that we partake of.
Cheyne – True, we torment ourselves and beat ourselves up and come up with all kinds of cruel variations on that theme. We would never dream of speaking to another person the way we speak to ourselves. I Don’t Like the Way You Speak to Me.
We would never dream of putting another person down and yet somehow, we’ve become conditioned to believe that it’s somehow okay for us to talk to ourselves like that.
I’m going to title this “I don’t like the way you speak to me” because we don’t say nice things to ourselves. It is always, negative self-talk. We never say things like:
you’re so pretty.
you’re so beautiful.
you are going to kick ass in this job.
I am good enough for this promotion.
No, the, self-communication, is always negative.
Cheyne – I did that for 20 years of my life totally unconsciously until my teacher helped me to to spot it.
Self-liberation is a program to help us with, negative self-talk
Myrna – That’s amazing, so he pointed you to your purpose. That helped you create the, self-liberation, program. Tell us about it.
Cheyne – The dialogue of, self-liberation, is the name that I’ve given to the methodology of understanding the principles of, negative self-talk. I also call it the “rinse and repeat.”
People have come to see me in all states of, brokenness. I’ve worked with many people who’ve been raped, who’ve had experience of, sexual abuse, violent, abusive relationships, all kinds of, trauma.
Yet when it’s explained clearly to a person that there is a way for them to begin to change literally the stories, they’re telling themselves about themselves.
Just because we’ve had certain experiences in our past, those experiences don’t need to define who we are today. What defines who we are, is what we do with the experiences we’ve been through.
How do we process those experiences? We can learn from those experiences and choose to no longer communicate about the past as if it were the present or the future. We can chose to stop the, negative self-talk.
Self-liberation is a freeing experience
This is an incredibly freeing and liberating experience, so the dialogue of, self-liberation, is process of learning how to communicate toward ourselves. In a way that has nothing to do with, positive affirmation, nothing to do with fake positivity or anything like that. It allows us to stop communicating to ourselves in, self-abusive, self-limiting, self-pitying, ways in the present tense and the future tense.
Myrna – I’m listening very intently to what you’re saying, because someone who’s reading this wouldn’t understand the depth of what you’re saying. What you’re saying is someone who has been, broken, they’re a victim, someone has done something to them and yet the, negative self-talk, that they’re telling themselves is saying that because of this, you are nobody. Because of this you’re not worth anything.
I was in this same situation for a long time myself, I didn’t get out of it until I was in my 40s. I was, sexually abused, as a child and I carried shame with that. I experienced that, self-liberation, myself once I started talking about it. Now I don’t have any shame attached to it because I was a victim, I was a child. A child can’t give consent to anything.
What does, self-liberation, look like on the other side of shame?
Cheyne – Guilt and shame are really common themes in, trauma. We all commonly normalize the behavior and then end up blaming ourselves. We communicate to ourselves, well I must have deserved it for some reason or another.
When we uncover what we’ve actually been communicating toward ourselves, then we can utilize the use of the, creative imagination, to change the dialogue. We have online programs that we have via the website that we’re teaching the dialogue of, self-liberation. We have various audio materials, some of those are what we refer to as guided contemplations.
These are spoken voice exercises to encourage the person to speak out loud with their own voice in an unconditionally open, self-supportive, and non-limiting way. We have these suggested spoken voice exercises we call guided contemplations plus audio exercises of guided visualizations. The guided visualizations are designed to help people to take old memories of experiences that were upsetting or traumatic or just incredibly challenging and then to use their, creative imagination, to begin to change how they choose to view the memory.
Myrna – One of my most favorite quotes from Dr Wayne Dwyer
Change the way you look at a thing and the thing you look at will change
All we have to do the work. I love Byron Katie, she has a book called “The Work. Change does not come without us doing the work!
We have to do the work to replace our negative self-talk
If you don’t do the work, you will continue to be with your bottom feeder emotions. The guilt, the shame, the anger, the blame. You will play the blame game. I’m not going to do well in life, because my parents abused me, or somebody abused me. In my book “Out of the Snares, a story of Hope and Encouragement” I call this stop being a victim and become a player. When we are in the, game of life, and we get bad cards, we have to learn how to play to win with those cards.
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We have an audio program which is in the form of an app which you would download to your phone with five audio lessons with accompanying audio exercises in the form of guided contemplations.
We also have a live program which consists of drip-fed PDF material over a five-week course with accompanying audio exercises plus one live zoom call with a small group of people once a week at the same time each week for five weeks. We’ve been running this with people around the world now for the last year and we’ve had some just wonderful feedback from the participants.
Conclusion
I want to thank you guys for tuning in to the Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life Radio Podcast and television show. Please leave a review on iTunes and give us a rating if you liked this blog and podcast.
If you are listening on Spotify or any of the other podcast players, please subscribe and turn on your notification so you can be notified of new episodes.
I also want to invite you to join my private Facebook group called Life coach, we have daily inspiration in this group to help you to, transform your life, by, transforming your mind.
Addiction and recovery side effects can include, anxiety disorder, and panic attacks. In this episode Dr Tra Ahia, Psychologist offers treatment options for dealing with, anxiety disorder.
I was listening to a podcast last week and the guest was talking about her, anxiety disorder, and her story triggered a memory of a personal acquaintance who was a heroin addict and developed, anxiety disorder.
My first introduction to Anxiety Disorder
In the late 80’s I was working in sales and my boss’s daughter was an, Heroin addict. We were close enough that she would tell me what it was like being addicted to Heroin. She told me how she would cook the heroin until it became a liquid and then she would shoot it into her neck because she got a more immediate high. She showed me the holes in her neck which she covered up with scarves. Her father who was wealthy gave her a car and she sold that car for peanuts to get money to buy Heroin.
She attempted to go to rehab several times; but always walked out because she said they just left you in a room to scream in pain. She said the pain of withdrawal was unbearable. She then started a methadone treatment which is a synthetic version of Heroin. They reduced the dose of the methadone gradually to wean your body off Heroin. But what I want to get to was her, anxiety disorder. She got such bad, panic attacks, her gut was always in knots, that she couldn’t leave the house without her safe person, her boyfriend. I don’t remember if he used drugs; but when the relationship ended she was unable to leave to leave the house for weeks, not even to buy groceries. Then she was too anxious to start dating. She stressed about some man asking “Can I touch your boobs” I don’t know what became of her; but I think of her often.
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If you have an, anxiety disorder – Your brain raises ahead to predict the future. The guest on the podcast had, anxiety disorder, and she described it as “life fright” or , agoraphobia, She said to think about Stage fright. You feel nervous, you think you are going to freeze up or faint, you start to sweat, you think people are going to laugh at you etc. well people with, anxiety disorder, or, agoraphobia, feel like that all the time.
They have, agoraphobia, talking to strangers, checking out at the grocery store, at the bank, going for an interview, at a cocktail party, almost any conversation with a stranger, that’s why the guest called it “life fright.”
Dr Tra as the author of the book “Call me an Addict, war on women” How does my story regarding anxiety being called “Life Fright” relates to your experience?
I think for that young lady or whoever coined that term, for her that helped her manage her, anxiety disorder. That term helped her understand for herself this thing that she was feeling, so for her that was a good term to use, this, Life Fright. My thoughts when I think about, life fright, is that I’m afraid of living period. The entire gamut of life, so for me I would not use that term as a replicator to, anxiety disorder; but I can see why she did.
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I understand there are 3 types of, Anxiety Disorders,
Situational anxiety
social anxiety and
high functioning anxiety
Can you explain the difference of these forms of, anxiety, and which is most common with substance abuse?
There are more than just three types of, anxiety disorder, way more. I think it’s important also for the audience to understand that when we talk about, anxiety disorder, we’re talking about an irrational fear or, agoraphobia, of something that someone is experiencing. It’s irrational, it’s not logical that you are excessively fearful over this specific situation or you’re apprehensive about something or you have difficulty managing daily tasks. So when we think about, agoraphobia, or, anxiety disorder, I want them to know that it’s irrational to know your heart is racing, and you feel like you’re going to die.
There are six main categories of, anxiety disorders, like I said there are more than three!
Phobias
Panic attacks, with or without, agoraphobia, you have
Generalized, anxiety disorder,
Obsessive compulsive disorder or, OCD,
Acute stress disorder and
Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD
The American Psychological Association lists research on how, anxiety disorder, is diagnosed.
This disorder called, anxiety disorder, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual
It’s normal to become anxious and at one time or another. A car almost hit you, you are going for an interview, you sense danger etc. Anxiety is normal under certain conditions, what we are talking about here is the irrational fear or, agoraphobia, that is a disorder.
Something who’s unable to leave their home. This is, agoraphobia, they have a fear of leaving surroundings that they’re familiar with.
This a serious affliction.
There are three systems of functioning that need to change in, Anxiety Disorder
Cognitive
Physical and
Behavioral
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How would, high-functioning anxiety, work?
An addict could develop a, panic attack, because perhaps they’re they don’t have the substance anymore, or it could be someone who gains, agoraphobia, as a result of some interaction they’ve had with a place they frequented to attain their substance.
An addict with, high-functioning anxiety, usually is on a treatment plan in conjunction with medication to control their, anxiety disorder.
An addict could develop a, panic attack, because perhaps they’re they don’t have the substance anymore, or it could be someone who gains, agoraphobia, as a result of some interaction they’ve had with a place they frequented to attain their substance.
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My research shows that these disorders present themselves as early as 14 years old and can be treated successfully by mental health professionals if treatment is started early; but because people feel that mental illness equals crazy, they don’t talk about it or seek help.
Research show that 90% of suicides results from mental illness like, anxiety disorder, and depression. How does talk therapy from a Life Coach, social worker or Psychologist such as yourself help patients?
Talk therapy allows the client to feel listened to and understood. It allows them to download and get advise. It can save many from suicide.
How would you help someone suffering from, anxiety disorder?
Mental illness is something that keeps a lot of people up at night but nobody wants to talk about during the day
It is the visitor who enters without knocking
1 in 20 become disabled by mental illness i.e. Can’t function in society
So let’s start talking.
ANXIETY, has become the defining mental health issue of our decade — women are affected at twice the rate of men, and now children and young adults are also more stressed and anxious than ever before. Join us to learn nutritional and gut solutions for your anxiety!
Your, soul purpose, is to awaken to consciousness and have a human experience through your body. Your, soul, or spirit is eternal.
Welcome to the mindset transformation radio show and podcast. Today’s show is very special to me! I am going to share with you an interview with Neale Donald Walsh, author of, “The Conversations with God,” series on, “How to Awaken Your Soul’s Purpose,”
This is special to me because his book revealed deep truths to me. My eyes were opened in wonderment!
Here are some of the revelations from the book “The Conversations with God’
Truths about Prayer and Soul Purpose
When you pray in order for your prayer to be received by God it must be in a frequency that he can hear. Just as you cannot hear this radio program if my words were not modulated to be transported over the communication lines and then demodulated back so that you can hear them. It is the same way that prayer works. Except the modulator is faith. Jesus never healed anyone who did not have faith. He said “Your faith has made you whole” So if you are asking God to grand you the desires of your heart and you don’t believe that he will, your prayers will never be answered unless it is connected to your, soul purpose.
The other part of the prayer mechanics is this:
You will not have that which you ask, nor anything you want because your request is a statement of lack.
Saying you want a thing only works to produce that precise experience – wanting- in your reality.
Abraham of the Law of Attraction books teaches the same thing.
You have to see yourself in position of the thing you want and not what you don’t want, because if you think of what you don’t want, that is exactly what you will attract and that will show up. Wondering why you keep attracting the same no good man into your experience? That is because you are so detailed in what you don’t want in a man and the Universe complies!
So when you pray you must engage faith and thank God for giving you the desires of your heart and your, soul purpose. You need to tell him all the things you do want in a man. Be just as detailed and then believe him for it. Walk in it. Believe that you already have such a man!
Truths about Relationships and Purpose
It is only through your relationship with people, places and events that you can exist in the universe. You are only who you are, relative to what another person is not. That is why opposites attract! Your, soul, is always looking for its counterpart to complete itself!
When human relationships fail (and they never really fail, they just did not produce the result you wanted), is because they were entered into for reasons not beneficial to their survival and, soul purpose.
The, purpose, of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you would like to see show up not what part of another you can capture and hold. This revelation made me look at the, purpose, of my marriage from Gods eyes.
The good news is that this marriage survived when the others failed because it had a purpose. One of them was to reveal myself to me.
Truths about Abundance and Soul Purpose
What is an abundant mindset?
Let’s say that you are walking down the road one day and you see a homeless person begging on the street corner. You go into your wallet and notice you have $7, a $5dollar bill and 2 singles. You start to give the homeless person the $5 bill but decide instead to get him the 2 singles. Why did you change your mind about giving the $5 bill? Was it because you felt that it was too much money to part with? Did you feel that you needed it more than the homeless person?
None of these answers suggest an abundant mindset. You are operating from a spirit of lack.
The most rapid way to change a root thought or sponsoring idea is to reverse the thought-word-deed process.
Do the deed that you want to have the new thought about, then say the words that you want to have the new thought about. Do this often and you’ll train the mind to think a new way.
You are what you think you are. When the thought is a negative one, you have to find a way to break out of the cycle. So much of your present experience is based on your previous thought.
Abundance Mindset and Purpose
Let’s say You need $5000 more to close on your new home. You receive a message from God to give $2000 to a sister in the church who just lost her house in a fire. You obey because you have faith that your God is able. Your common sense tells you that you are stupid and that you will never get the money back; but you act on Gods promise. You use the words that God will provide the increase.
He does, a few days later; a check for $10,000 shows up in the mail.
I listened to a message from Joyce Meyers a few weeks back, she shared a similar story. She said that she was broke and laying in bed age her Breast cancer surgery feeling very fearful about her financial situation. Both she and her husband was in full time ministry and depended on her ability to preach for their income. She wouldn’t be able to work for some time.
Then the doorbell rang and someone brought her a check for $10,000. Someone she did not know, but who God sent. From that moment, onward she did not operate out of fear or lack, she knew that God was able. When you are on a journey that matches your, soul purpose, miracles happen.
Soul expressions
When was the last time you cried with joy, wrote poetry, made music, danced in the rain, baked a pie, painted anything, fixed something that was broken, kissed a baby, held a cat to your face, kissed your dog, swam naked, walked at sunrise, played a harmonica, talked till dawn, made love for hours on a beach or in the woods, communed with nature, searched for God, sat alone in silence, or traveled to the deepest part of your being?
When was the last time you said hello to your, soul?
Wow! After reading this I made note to say hello to my, soul, more often. I need to go skinny dipping at the beach, I need to dance in the rain and make love for hours in the woods!
So how do you awaken to your soul purpose?
Your, soul, doesn’t care what you do for a living, the, soul, only cares what you are being, while you are doing what you are doing.
The function of the, soul, is to indicate its desire, not impose it.
The function of the mind is to choose from its alternatives.
The function of the body is to act out that choice.
Your, soul, has brought you to the words you are reading or listening to right now.
How I found my, soul purpose.
One day I was reading a local newspaper. Who reads newspapers these days? I never did. But this day now only did a newspaper appear in my space; but I was guided to pick it up and flip through the pages. In one of the pages was a photograph of someone I thought I recognized so I stopped to look at it. It had her name and the title beside her name, Life coach! I had never seen that word before or heard it anywhere but I knew immediately that was what I was supposed to do.
My, soul, has been directing me all my life. It always brings me to where I need to be and the people I need to be with.
True masters are those who have chosen to make a life, rather than a living.
Life’s irony is that as soon as worldly goods and worldly success are of no concern to you, the way is open for them to flow to you.
I do this for free! Open the windows of heaven Lord!
There comes a time in the evolution of every, soul, when the chief concern is no longer the survival of the physical body, but the growth of the, spirit; no longer the attainment of worldly success but the realization of self.
The goal and, purpose, of your, soul, is to fully realize itself while in your body. To become the embodiment of all that it really is.
If you are interested in being a guest on the Transform Your Mind radio TV and podcast, please contact me on the web @ www.myhelps.us or complete the Guest questionnaire and email back to me.
Women are you invisible in the boardroom and have no say? Do men listen when you speak? If the answer is no, then find out how to get, a seat at the table.
How did you come to become passionate about, diversity and inclusion, for, women of color?
How to Get a Seat at The Table
I first really started thinking about, a seat at the table, when I was a very young reporter in Charleston, South Carolina. I was the only female reporter at the time within this 600 person company. And what I was struck by is that there were so many decisions that were being made that we would complain about; but none of us had, a seat at the table, to help make those decisions.
I realized that if I didn’t have a place in the room that I was both invisible and silent; so it didn’t matter how much I complained or how much I didn’t like what was going on or simply just didn’t understand it because I was not part of the discussion; I needed, a seat at the table.
So that’s where my passion for, diversity and inclusion, was born.
CNN wrote a column on getting, a seat at the table, for women. They were discussing congresswoman Harris, basically what they’re saying was that women are invisible and they have no say. When they speak no one listens. So I understand what you are saying.
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I stayed in that company as a reporter without, a seat at the table, about 12 years. It took me that long to get that awakening. Sometimes we think that we are fortunate to have a job so we don’t want to stir the pot. I just increasingly became more and more of a little rebel challenging the status quo. Eventually I left and ventured out to write my first book. I was scared to death. Because here I am I’m going to write a book, I’m going to leave my job. I took a leave of absence to write the book; but it was really a step of faith and in writing the book and doing the research.
I became energized when I interviewed older relatives, my mother and great-aunt who were already in their 80s and 90s at the time. I became energized by their tenacity as, Black women. I knew that we had a lot of strong men in my family, but my eyes are really flew open at the strength of the, black women, and how they held businesses up, they held a family up and the men of the family up, and brought us all together.
I stumbled into the nonprofit arena by my volunteer work. I was volunteering and working on writing the book and one thing led to another. I got to a small job at an organization that was run by a, black woman, who became my mentor. She took me under her wing and even though I was just volunteering she taught me so much about strength and tenacity and making your voice count.
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Her company was called Family Assistance Management Services
And she was the first black female insurance broker in SC. She had been a full time teacher before she built quite a nest egg with her husband. They owned several pieces of property in Charleston SC. She then became a broker and started several businesses, an insurance company, a computer training clinic all kinds of other businesses, because she had a passion for helping people.
You got your feet wet on the nonprofit arena and but it sounds like you have, a seat at the table, at Goodwill Industries. Why you write the book, “A Seat at the Table or a part of the meal?”
I was born in September 1964 a month after the discrimination Act, and my parents had not long moved to Charleston, SC. All of my siblings, I have one brother and two sisters, they had all been born at home in the country by a midwife so since it was now illegal for place public places to discriminate my father thought, well I will take my wife to this nice Hospital for my fourth child to be born. So my mother was in labor he rushes her down to this hospital the Medical University of South Carolina and by this time she’d begun to hemorrhage as I was a breech baby.
It was pouring down rain and he got my mom into the emergency area into the lobby and he started screaming for the doctors to come and help they turned looked at them and turned their backs right away. All the white doctors and nurses ignored them, so he ran up to them and screamed my wife is bleeding you got to help her and someone told him to just sit down we’ll get to you.
So he scooped her up, put her in a wheelchair and ran with her down the street to the black Hospital. McLennan banks Hospital in the pouring rain with my mom gripping for life on that wheelchair. He pushed her up into the emergency area and as soon as they saw that she was drenched in blood they rushed her into the emergency room and delivered me. The doctor who delivered me was a, woman of color, from South Africa and he named me Kimberly after the Kimberly diamond mines.
Black Women are born to be at the table
It sounds like you were born in to do this work!
I was tried of being the only, Black woman, in the room. I felt we as, Black women, have to do something to get , a seat at the table. If anyone was going to wave that flag of, diversity and inclusion, equity and of, diversity, it should be Goodwill Industries. So it really began then. We started a task force with a group of CEOs and started to study, diversity and inclusion, and equity programs with fortune 500 companies and fortune 100 companies and other nonprofit organizations. We studied who was doing it well, what were they looking at, what were the metrics and how do you build that diverse pipeline. We came up an implementation plan.
We were really intentional about attracting, maintaining and keeping a, diversity, workforce. Whether it is individuals who are Hispanic or individuals who African-American or LGTBQ or disabled. We recognize that all of that build a table of, diversity.
The first time that I heard the phrase, a seat at the table, was from one of my coaching clients and I’ve heard it several times since. I heard Gabrielle Union say it that she’s just gonna make her own table because you know the black actresses in Hollywood are still working to, get a seat at the table. They go through the same discrimination with, diversity and inclusion. It’s not just in Corporate America or in the board rooms.
Women of Color getting a seat at the table
Kimberly you have, a seat at the table, what advice would you give to women who are hitting the glass ceiling and get, no seat at the table.
African-American women unfortunately have been absent from the room! We have not even been invited into the room much less have, a seat at the table, for quite some time. Women in general have been hitting the glass ceiling for quite a long time. I’ve heard that men are hired based on what their hiring manager or that supervisor thinks that they can do while women are hired or promoted based on performance. it is that way because the majority of the, seats at the table, are already held by men. Predominantly white males and they look for men who look like act like they came from where they come from.
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Black women in order to get, a seat at the table, have to do 3 things:
They have to network. It’s all about relationships. Else there is, no seat at the table. Everything that you do is about relationships and it’s about networking. If you didn’t grow up playing golf, learn. Go around places and do things that make you feel uncomfortable. But you must be part of the conversation. Go to the theater, go to the Opera, you could serve as an usher and get free tickets.
Get a mentor – All women should have a mentor.
Get a Sponsor – a sponsor and a mentor are two different people. A mentor is someone that you can talk to about your fears and your aspirations. A mentor can give you sound advice and can talk you through some of the issues that you’re having and help you create a plan a plan of attack.
A sponsor on the other hand is going to be that person who’s going to make sure that you’re invited to that meeting. They’re going to take you under their wing. They’re going to make sure that there’s a place for you in the conversation and that there is, diversity and inclusion, that you are a part of the discussion. Sponsors are usually white males.
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Book: Seat at the table
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One of the ways to find your, purpose and destiny, is to to look inside at your natural ability. You were created with a, purpose. Find your, purpose and destiny, by looking at what you have in your hand. There is something you can do better than anyone else on the planet. Seek and you will find it.
This week on #Mindset Transformation radio with coach Myrna, we give insights on 6 Ways to Find Your, Purpose and Destiny. Coach Dan Willms and I interview Keshia Marie Morris Desir, Political Activist, as she shares how she found her, purpose and destiny.
Introduction to Finding Your Purpose and Destiny
Purpose, If you don’t have one, you will will never feel that spiritual fulfillment. The bible teaches that people without a, vision, shall, perish.
I feel that having, vision, lines up with your, purpose, because God places the desires into your heart of what you were born to do.
That is the same statement that God made to Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. He told them that if they ate from the tree of knowledge, then they will surely die. And they did!
Not a physical death; but a spiritual death. In a similar way the bible teaches that people without a, vision, shall perish, again not a physical death, but in spirit
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You see, having a, purpose, inspires you to live and not die!
“Purpose, inspires you. When you are inspired by some great, purpose, some extraordinary project; all your thoughts break their bonds, your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new and wonderful world!” Dr. Wayne Dyer
That is what happened to my daughter Keshia Marie Morris. She became inspired after reading Nelson Mandela’s book “A Long Walk to Freedom”
My partner coach Dan Willms and I interviewed Keshia on our show “You Asked for it”
Here is a poem Keshia wrote and I published in my book “Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement” in my chapter on, Purpose and Destiny.
Purpose, is continually evolving
When you emit God from your, purpose,
You close doors that God clearly opened
Know that God is behind your, purpose and destiny.
Take ownership of your, purpose and destiny, for it is not yours, but the Lords.
Purpose, requires you to be diligent
Rebuke laziness in the name of God
Have tunnel vision in regards to your, purpose
Focus on your, purpose and destiny.
Walk in your, purpose
Stand in your, purpose
Don’t forget your, purpose
Neglect those things that hinder your purpose and destiny
Don’t get caught up in daily living and,
Forget what God has purposed
You will never be perfect, only the God,
Who called you to your purpose is perfect!
Purpose, makes you leave what is comfortable
Purpose will help you endure what is uncomfortable
Just because you miss a short-term goal,
It does not take you away from your purpose
The end of your purpose is always bigger than you
Purpose, will always require some suffering!
Your, purpose and destiny, may have many fingers or parts
Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing,
Who will try to pull you away from your purpose
When you are weak, call on the Lord
Who is with you at ALL Times!
Through him all things are possible!!!
~Keshia Marie Morris
6 Ways to Find Your Purpose
1. To, find your purpose, look inside at your natural ability. You were created with a purpose. There is something you can do better than anyone else on the planet. Seek and you will find it.
2. Find your purpose, by paying attention to the things you like doing. The thing you would do for free. Ask yourself what would I do today if money was not a problem?
3. Find your passion. Do you want to help starving children in Africa? Do you want to stop domestic violence? Do you want to take big money out of politics? What injustice makes you mad? Don’t just talk about it, do something about it.
4. Keep learning and growing. Grow consciously. Read books. Attend seminars, hire a coach or a mentor.
5. Pray. Keep an open connection to God, so you are able to hear him through the Holy Spirit. Ask him what he wants you to do, and he will answer.
6. Reflection. Do you know what you are good at? Are you aware of your strengths? Find a quiet place every day and meditate. It is the only way to connect to source and find out who you truly are.
Understanding Purpose and Destiny
In the principles of, purpose and destiny, bear in mind that, destiny, demands fulfillment, and, purpose, expression. Both are the two-witness principle, as life is not about, purpose, alone. Both are essential for the fulfillment of what you were created for. For, purpose, without, destiny, is like having no real life at all. It’s like being on earth illegally. Therefore, we must define life from a sense of, destiny, by God’s purpose and design for our life, fulfillment, and the completion of God’s eternal purpose. We are to consider chiefly that God has a, purpose, in each of us to be fulfilled, for we are purposed and perfected with a, purpose, and destined and designed with, destiny.
We should take into consideration that our, destiny, comes from the true meaning of what the Father has eternally purposed us for? According to Ephesians 1:18, do we realize that our purpose is centered and ordained in the SON? Or are we so self-driven with our own ambition to fulfill our own expectation and desires?
To contact me to be a guest on this show or for sponsorship opportunities, please send me an email at info@myhelps.us or on the web at www.myrnayounghelps.com
