How to Have Faith That Sets You Free

Faith No Fear

When you replace, fear, with, faith, it prevents your, subconscious mind, from going into reflex mode and bringing what you, fear, into your experience.

The Bible teaches that, faith, without works is dead. That means as we say in my birth country of Guyana

Put your money where your mouth is.

Eg. If you, have faith, that God is going bring you the desires of your heart and you desire to have a child; then you don’t do like Sarah and have your husband sleep with Hagar (your maid)  so you can have a child. No you have, courage, to stay the course and in God’s time you will have a child.

  • You pick out baby names,
  • Shop for your nursery,
  • You buy pregnancy clothes,
  • And you live in expectancy, hoping every month that your period does not show up!

Listen to the full episode here: 

Faith means getting up after you fall down

If you experience some setbacks like several miscarriages, you have, courage,  and believe in Gods promise, that everything works out for your good. You believe that Gods intentional!

Transform Your Mind Amazon
Transform Your Mind Amazon

You Banish, fear!

The only thing you have to, fear, is, fear, itself. Fear, is false evidence appearing real.

When you replace, fear, with faith it prevents your, subconscious mind, from going into reflex mode and bringing what you, fear, into your experience.

Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast
Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Program your subconscious mind with faith

The, subconscious mind, can’t tell fact from fiction, it brings you whatever you think about consistently.

Jesus says by their fruits we shall know them.

If you live with, courage, we shall know you by your fruits because, faith, is the language to God and he always delivers.

Man was created in Gods image with the power to rule the world. Have faith, that you have the power to manifest your heart’s desire and believe that whatever you hold on your head, you will hold in your hand.

The universe is obedient to Gods will.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

How to increase your faith

Every living thing has confidence in something or somebody.  You, have faith, that if you deposit your money in the bank, it will be there when you go to withdraw it. You, have faith, that if you plant a mango tree, it will bear mangoes and not oranges.

Similarly, we must, have faith, that whatever we ask God in prayer he will answer.

It is your habitual tendency of thought that reappears in your body and recreates the conditions in your life.

You become what you think about most of the time.

https://youtu.be/pcQz3Y-Zl5A

Speak faith Not fear

The words you use are the channels in which the creative energy takes shape.

This energy takes the shape from the instrument from which it passes. Water flowing from a crooked cup, flows crooked. Water must take the shape of the pipe from which it flows.

You can’t think one thing and produce another, this is as impossible as an electric fan being used for lighting purposes.

As a man thinketh so is he.

There is an intelligence in all nature. Faith, without works is dead but with it, sets you free.

Say Goodbye to, Fear, cultivating, courage, have faith, and if you are afraid, Do it afraid.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Fear looks down Faith looks up

When you, fear, you have a pessimistic view of life.  Worrying about the future is futile, we have no control about the future so if you are going to imagine the worst, why not shift it and use your imagination to create the life you want.

We are able to create whatever we think about most of the time. We become what we think about.

Think about this story. A young lady was worrying about losing her job. She feared losing her home, becoming homeless and worked herself into a frenzy by looking down into the abyss of, fear. But if she used her imagination to dream about getting a promotion instead of losing her job. Dreaming about buying a new home allows her to look up.

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

How To Get Out Of The Snares of Child Abuse

Out of the Snares of Poverty and Child Abuse

Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement is a book written to encourage women of color who were born in lack. It showcases my, personal growth, journey and how I got, out of the snares, of poverty and, child abuse.

 

This is my interview on the Books of the Month show on www.ptwwntv.com

Listen to the interview:

 

Introduction to Out Of the Snares

Myrna – I am a, life coach, I host a show on the preach the word television network called Transform Your Mind to Transform Your Life, one of the reasons that I wrote the book, Out of the Snares, is because I believe and I wanted to encourage women that it is not where we come from, but where we end up that’s important.

It’s also the only way that we can go through that transition like from a caterpillar to a butterfly is if we allow the things that happen to us in life help us with, personal growth.  We should use challenges to transform ourselves and for our, personal development.

So, the book, Out of the Snares, is basically a story of my life.  I wrote it from a, life coaching, perspective with 10 principles of, life experiences, that happened to me and what I learned from those, life experiences.

I’m a, life coach, but I do most of my coaching on my show Transform Your Mind. It is a radio, podcast and a television show.

Dr O.C Pringle:  You’re doing it all sister Young, you’re doing it all right and so of course your inspiration would be your, life’s experience, and, child abuse. let’s talk about that.

Out of the Snares of Child Sexual Abuse

Myrna:  I was, sexually abused, as a child in Guyana by a family friend.  He was technically my Godfather, but being from a third world country, a very poor country and he was very rich.

We would call him a, pedophile, he showered me with a lot of attention,  and bought me a lot of gifts and then took advantage of that.

I didn’t realize that we were doing anything wrong until I became 13 and started having Boyfriends.

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DR O.C Pringle: Until you became what?  Wait how old were you?

 

Myrna:  This, sexual abuse, began at age 10.

 

Dr O.C Pringle: Wow did anything ever happen to this guy?

 

Myrna: No, because like most children I didn’t say anything about it. I told no one. This book was my first experience talking about it and I in my 40’s when I wrote, Out of the Snares. My dad read the book and was very upset that he did not know this was going on.

Children carry a lot of shame regarding, sexual abuse, I still carried shame when I wrote, Out of the Snare. As you can see I used my maiden name Trotman for the author name.

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iHeart Radio

Dr. O.C Pringle: So, you placed Myrna Bernadette Trotman on the cover of the book, because you didn’t want people to know it was you, but your picture is on the cover!!

 

Myrna: I started to release shame when I started talking about the, sexual abuse, and when I learnt that children can’t give consent for sex. So whatever guilt and shame that I had attached to my, sexual abuse, I released it.

 

Dr O.C Pringle: Well listen it worked out for your good, but all things work together for the good of them that loved God and are called according to his, purpose, so your, sexual abuse, worked in your favor. You were able to redirect that energy into something positive where you’re helping people all over the world.  You’re on radio and on television, yes you are some kind of a woman.

Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement

Self Improvement Book: Out of the Snares
Out of the Snares of poverty, and sexual abuse

So, let’s talk some more about the book.

 

Myrna: Out of the Snares, is made up of 10 principles in life that we should live by:

 

  1. Keep Your, Vision, in Front of you– Dare to dream big dreams and understand the principles of vision casting.
  2. The events in your life whether good or bad, work together for good– God said I know your expected end. Stay the course; don’t give up until you win.
  3. Let the, Universal Laws of Attraction, the, Laws of Intention, work for you– Ask and it will be given unto you.
  4. Have a, Positive Mindset– Take control of your thoughts and attitudes. Get rid of ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts)
  5. Use what you have in your hand– You were created with a purpose; God gave you the skills and talents you need to complete your task. Stop waiting for the right time.
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  1. Be intentional about your Growth– Be proactive, be intentional, build on your gifts, and continually improve.
  2. If you build it, they will come“ Be a servant first.
  3. Find your Passion– it is the Fire in your belly. Become conscious of what lights you up. God put that Fire in your belly as a beacon to achieve your purpose.
  4. Love– it is what makes this Human experience worthwhile. Love yourself first. Love is spirit, God is spirit.
  5. Business Consciousness– how to create a startup company and succeed in marketing.

Additional Resources

Do You Have A Child Sexual Abuse Story? Break the Silence

Self love is the secret Out of the Snares of Child Abuse

How to Cast A Stone to Defeat Your Enemy

Transform Your Mind To Cast A Stone

Have you guys ever wondered why David when he was going to fight, Goliath, carefully selected five, stones, even when he knew that he only needed one, stone, to kill, Goliath? The reason was he was confident. He was confident because he knew that God was with him. It didn’t matter that he was a little person and, Goliath, was a giant. He knew that God would help him to slay that giant, like God helped him slay lions. So he knew he needed one, stone, but he carefully selected, five stones, and that’s what we’re going to be talking about today.

Bishop Anthony Banks is going to talk to us how we can, select, stones, for battle and, cast these stones. We, cast stones,  so that we can too can slay the giants in our life.  Like David we can, slay the enemy, that is coming towards us.  Just be sure, don’t cast stones if you live in a glass house! So make sure you read or listen to end, because I never heard a message on this topic before and I have been a Christian for over 20 years. This is unique informative and content.

Listen to the Full interview Here

Bio Bishop Anthony W. Banks.

Bishop Anthony W. Banks is the associate pastor at Love and Faith Ministries of Snellville, Georgia and Director of the Christian Education. Bishop Banks is also the CEO and founder of Access for Change Community Development Corporation of Atlanta, the CEO trainer at the Change Institute of Atlanta where he provides an array of training and instruction in the area of ministry of helps to local ministries in need.

Bishop Banks is a visionary, who is committed to excellence in ministry. Banks also has a passion for reaching the lost and to make disciples for Christ who are changed for life as is going to be our topic today. Bishop is the author of the soon-to-be-released book, to Cast A Stone. So, we’re going to be talking about, casting stones. Bishop is going to explain why God gave him that message and why he wanted to share it with the world.

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What are the principles of Casting Stones

Myrna – The first question I want to ask you is what prompted you to write the book to, Cast A Stone?

Bishop Banks – Well, it was prompted out of a desire to have better understanding of reading the Bible. People usually send you to find what you need spiritually, but what I found is in my early days of reading the Bible. I didn’t really understand what the Bible was saying and so as I’ve matured and now provide training to ministers, I realized that I could make things simpler for people. So, it really was prompted out of that and as well the manuscript has been sitting on a computer for about nine-ten years.

So, I started thinking on some things and realized I need to go ahead and get this out and get it into the hands of people. The realization came about that people are missing a lot of times on what they need. We hold on so tightly to what God puts inside of us and we won’t release it out.

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Miles Monroe encouraged me to write to Cast A Stone

To Cast A Stone, was born out of that and mainly I think Miles Monroe and encouraged me to get the book out. He told me that there are people who need to hear specifically from me.  There are things that you’re holding as well that other people need to get and receive to make them better.

Myrna – Why this particular topic, To Cast a Stone?

Bishop Banks – Well To, Cast A Stone, has to do with the fact that in the scripture Elijah was told to go to a certain brook and he was told that at that particular brook he’ll be sustained there.

What I’ve done is in this my book, I have provided information in, to cast a stone,  that will sustain people if they’ll read it.   So when you go into that place, your brook, you’ll find that there are things there that will help you when you encounter life situations. It will help you to move forward at this place and become sustained by GOD.  To, Cast A Stone, offers a lot of encouragement. There are some specific things in the book that speak to leaders, young people, men and women. It’s very diverse.

Okay to,  cast a stone, is to go in and find it and prepare yourself to cast it.

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

David Casts a Stone to Kill Goliath

Myrna – Alright, so I thought that we were talking about when David picked up,  five stones, to cast and kill, Goliath, did I misunderstood that?

Bishop Banks – No, you didn’t. There’s also a part of it, David, casting a stone, is a part of the book. David, cast a stone, using his faith in God. David is an example of the faith that’s necessary to, defeat the enemy. When David picked up, five stones, he had to do that by faith because it’s just a rock and he was up against a giant. You have a certain amount of faith, and David did the work, because he had to reach and get the stone, prepare to launch it and then, cast a stone. So, no, you didn’t misunderstand.

The other part of to, Cast A Stone, speaks on Elijah at the brook, because the book is where you can go and be sustained as well. The actions that David took are the works and scripture tells us that faith without works is dead. If David had not got reached and gotten the, stones, then surely he’d have been dead. Goliath, would have killed him and fed his body to the dogs like he was threatening to do.  But David did the work, he carefully chose his weapons, stones.  He had the faith that God would show up and help him to kill, Goliath, with these, stones.

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Knowledge we gain from books is only power if we use it

The hardest thing for us to do sometimes is to crack the pages of a book, but it’s work that has to be done. If you don’t do that work, you’ll have it sitting right there on your table. Whether it’s the Bible or a book that someone’s written, it’ll be on your table. Everything you need is right there to slay whatever’s in front of you. It’ll sit there idle if you don’t do the work of opening and cracking it. We all have to do work, we cannot change in life without doing the physical work.

Myrna – Haven’t you heard people say knowledge is not power until you use it? But the reason I was so interested in this particular topic is why do you think when David was looking for those smooth, stones?

Bishop Banks – Of course, what was he thinking of when he selected those, stones.  Let’s use the analogy for somebody right now that’s preparing to slay a giant and they are selecting their tools or their weapons in order to slay the giant. We’re not physically going into a brook or getting stoned.

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How can we use to Cast a Stone in Real Life

Myrna – So how can somebody use that information in real life?

Bishop Banks – Well, I think I would if I had to use it as an analogy. David would say that especially, spiritually speaking if you’re reaching into the word of God to find specifically what you need. David will have us to understand he had a sense of weight when it came to the, stones, he chose.  Also it said he chose smooth, stones, which means there could have been some rough ones there, but he knew the trajectory that he needed right from his experience of launching them. It wasn’t going to work and so he may have used rough ones at a certain time for certain things, but he chose  smooth, stones,  for this giant.

I would say that even in scripture when you go into scripture, this is why the book is important because sometimes you can go in scripture and be so general on the surface. A lot of my own personal experiences also are in the book along with scripture that helped me to get through. I think that if people read the book they get in there, they’ll find that there are things that they can launch out from their experiences. If you don’t have experiences, I think when we read the Bible, we forget we check it as just a spiritual book, but those are people’s literal experiences. We have to sometimes look at exactly what they were going through and not just one verse, but exactly what led up to that.

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Use your Life experiences when choosing your Stones

You see, even with David, His experience was that of a shepherd. What I mean, he was coming to bring lunch to his brothers, he wasn’t expecting to, fight a giant, but when he got there he realized there’s something here that is against what God’s doing. So, he went and found what he needed and I say to people find what you need. People can suggest the scripture to you, but it may not fit what you need right. You have to find what you need specifically and then, cast that stone. We know that the launching part of it or the casting part of it, David had a slingshot. We have our mouth.

Life and death is in the power of the tongue, but you got to have the right words or, stones, to speak.

I would say clearly, going into the word and finding specifically the, stones, that you need to launch for the giant that you’re facing is important. I mean because you know life and death is in the tongue and we can use words as our weapons and that is what I’ve heard preached many times and which is what I also use in my life. Your words are the descriptors that you stand on, the things that you say out of your mouth is what is you’re going to launch to the enemy.

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What is the method we can use to cast a stone?

Myrna – That’s good, I get it. One of the questions I have here for you Bishop, is what is the method that we can use to, cast a stone? We talked about finding the scripture that pertains to your particular situation. What pertains to the giant that you’re fighting right now, one is scripture. So what are some of the other methods that we can use to find our, stones?

Bishop Banks – Well, I think mustering up your, faith. There’s a situation in scripture where the disciples had issues and they thought Jesus was going to do something, move something around for them. He (Jesus) said I pray that your, faith, don’t fail you, but it didn’t change the situation. The same thing that you’re going to launch out, I think with David  his faith would have failed him. He never would have launched it because thought would have come into his mind that, casting a stone, was not going to kill a giant.

You’ve only got one, stone, you have had a certain amount of, faith, with that and I think faith is the key to any launching or, casting a stone.  It’d be like throwing a baseball. If you’re a pitcher, you pitch the ball now you can just throw the ball anywhere and not even go near where the batter is or you can throw that thing specifically at the target at the catcher’s glove.

You see and you know if you throw it there and I think, faith, is like that. You have to launch it in the direction you want it to go and then on top of that what I said a minute ago you’ve got to be specific about where you’re throwing it. You just can’t throw it into the air and hope that something happens because, faith, doesn’t work that way. I think that’s what I would say is, faith is the key.

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How Leaders can use To Cast a Stone

Myrna – Okay, so that’s awesome. You have a book and you talk about the brook that sustained Elijah.

  • You talked about the, stones, that you cast, it has to be going directly to the target you’ve got.
  • To have faith to know that when you, cast a stone, it’s going to slay your giant or enemy

 

Myrna – What are some of the other things that you want the readers to walk away with in your book? I know that your ministry involves leaders, you also train ministers. You talk about them being disciples and also I’m pretty sure you talked about some of your personal stories that are in there. Now, tell us about the book. What you want people to walk away after reading the book?

Bishop Banks – Sure, I think you know the thing that I believe should happen once you read the book or come out of the book, is that you should be changed. Okay you absolutely should be changed. There’s no way you would read, to Cast A Stone,  and not come out with something of substance.  I know it’s substance because of my experiences that I’ve had in life that I share in the book.

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Conclusion

Myrna – Let’s talk about your ministry. I know that you mention that you teach, you teach discipleships to people, but you also have a speaking ministry. So tell us how someone can get in touch with you for speaking engagements, to help them sustain wherever they’re at, to help them, cast a stone, I mean all of that.

Bishop Banks – I do speak at leadership conferences and not just at ministries, I also can provide information to people in the business sector. When I say that I train leaders, it’s not just church leaders. I can go into any setting and speak to leaders about leading. Not only that, I can also go in there and work with teams to pull teams together. I’m really good at that and so people can reach me at my email address anthonybanks1938@gmail.com or my phone number – 770-572-0547.

I’m glad to come and help any way. I can and I’ve really been trying to help ministries to grow. I’m currently at Loving Faith Ministries. I’m glad to come and speak in any situations whether it’s young people, or older people, whatever business, it doesn’t matter. I’m open to coming to speak at those engagements or marriage. I tell you, if you can work with teams in a teen situation sure where everybody wants to go their own way, then you can definitely work with organizational leadership as far as David goes you know you need to choose the, stones, that you are going to throw at the giant.

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Myrna – Once again thanks for downloading this podcast, please remember to subscribe, rate and review  if you found this content inspirational. Until next time blessings.

Additional Resources

The Events in Life Work Together for Your Good

Why is Renewing Your Mind Important?

Renew Your Mind Dr Glover

When we talk about the, renewing of the mind, it is not simply about changing or adjusting how you think, but renewing your sense of, self-consciousness. Renewing your mind, impacts your conscience, which is your sense of what is right and wrong. It impacts your heart, which in Hebrew literature is the center of your being.

Renewing your mind, runs much deeper than simply making confessions and changing how you think upon a thing.  Apostle Paul teaches “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind”

Pastor William L Glover speaks on the biblical principles of what God meant when He said “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

Listen to the full interview here:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/8876218

 

Pastor Glover just completed a powerful series on, renewing the mind, it was a four part series, you can watch the full series on the Mount Hermon Ministries YouTube Channel. But today we’re going to pick some of the important pieces of that, renewing your mind, series to share with you.

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Bio and Intro for Pastor William L Glover

Dr. William L. Glover is the Senior Pastor of Mount Hermon Ministries. He also oversees the Dew of Hermon Early Learning Center and is Campus Director of Life Christian University at Mount Hermon Ministries. He has a strong mandate for Education, Missions, Leadership Development, Justice Ministry and reaching the lost for Christ.

Having ministered in nine different countries on 29 international trips, Dr. Glover is an anointed teacher, preacher, and international speaker. He has assembled ministry and medical teams that have seen thousands of souls saved and thousands more received desperately needed medical care.  His passion is to reach the globe, but God has fashioned his heart in the shape of Africa.

Through Mount Hermon Ministries, he is very involved in reaching his community through educational empowerment.  He is a founding board member of L.I.F.E (Lee Interfaith for Empowerment), a Network of Congregations committed to finding solutions to systemic justice issues in Lee County; is an Executive Board Member of Healthy Lee, a group of faith, business and health professions committed to inspiring healthy life styles, and chairs the Religious Affairs Committee of the local branch of the NAACP. Dr. Glover is also Co-Founder (with Pastor Cheryl Glover) of Redeeming Influence Community Outreach, a non-profit that serves blighted communities.

Dr. Glover has earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Bible and Theology from Southeastern University (formally Bible College), a Master of Arts degree in Religion from Florida State University, a Master of Education degree in counseling from Florida A & M University, and his Doctor of Ministry degree in Theology from Life Christian University.

Dr. Glover is also the author of the three books: Justice: God, Nations, and Systems, which examines the role of faith in addressing systemic justice issues which plague the systems of men; 30 Days of Excellence, a daily devotional that focuses on cultivating a culture of excellence in Faith, in Speech and in Life; and Ready for the Harvest, a study on how to release the principle of seedtime and harvest into your life.

Book: Ready for the Harvest Transform Your Mind Podcast
Book: Ready for the Harvest Transform Your Mind Podcast

Dr. Glover is married to Pastor Cheryl Glover. Four wonderful adult children enhance their lives: Brittney, Jade, Jana and William II. Dr. Glover credits God for His demonstration of goodness and continues to trust in His faithfulness throughout his Pastoral Ministry.

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What Does God Mean By Renewing the Mind

Myrna – My first question to you Pastor Glover  is why did why do you think God wanted you to preach on, renewing your mind?

Pastor Glover – that’s an excellent question Myrna. I ended the 2020 year with a series of messages entitled, living in your redemption. The idea being that God had already paid the price for redemption and that he’s redeemed our lives from destruction.

Whatever destruction has occurred in our lives, be it:

  • personal,
  • financial,
  • relational
  • emotional
  • mental

 

God has already invested in the price to redeem and restore us from that destruction. That message was received so well that I began to contemplate well how do I get people to embrace that, mindset, and the, renewing your mind, messages were born. If a person can hear something, but if it’s not internalized and if it’s not received, then it’s not going to have an impact on their lives.

So that series of, renewing your mind, messages was born out of that realization of moving people from the point of where they are, to living in the redemption and, renewing their minds.

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Renewing Your Mind: the 3 parts of your mind

Myrna – you talked about the three different parts of the, mind, that God wants renewed.

Can you share with us the three different parts of the, mind?

Pastor Glover – Sure there are different aspects to each individual sermon, but the broad overview is the reason the, mind, is important is found in the wisdom literature. Scripture reveals that the, mind, is connected to and influences:

  • our psyche
  • our conscious
  • and our heart

 

When we talk about, renewing of the mind, it is not simply about changing or adjusting how you think, but it impacts your sense of, self-consciousness. It impacts your, conscience, which is your sense of what is right and wrong. It impacts your heart, which in Hebrew literature is the center of your being.

So, renewing your mind, runs much deeper than simply making confessions and changing how you think upon a thing.  Apostle Paul teaches “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the, renewing of your mind”

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There are 3 action verbs in this sentence.

  • transformed
  • renewing of the mind
  • conformed

 

One is internal and one is external.  It impacts our, psyche, our consciousness, and our heart.  So it is the, transformation, of the total person, the total being.

 

What is the Flexible mind, the Fluid Mind and the Fixed Mind?

We need to have a conversation about what kind of, mindset, you are working with.

  • Is your, mindset, flexible?
  • Is your, mindset, fluid?
  • Or do you have a, fixed mindset? Which could be good or bad depending on what it’s fixed on.

When we talk about the, psyche, the, psyche, being your sense of, self-consciousness. Why do we need, renewing of your mind, in your sense of, self-consciousness? Because it’s our sense of awareness, our sense of, self-worth. It also is our mental and emotional health, so if your, mind, is not flexible, you need work in your sense of awareness.

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The Flexible Mindset

Some people who are not self-aware or there’s some people who suffer from, low self-esteem, or there’s some people who are damaged mentally and emotionally. If you don’t have a, flexible mindset, which means pliable then you will resist God doing the eternal work in your, psyche, to, transform your mind.  So, in order for, transformation, to occur you have to have a, flexible mindset.

 

There can be no, transformation, if you’re unwilling to change.

 

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The Fluid Mindset

Conversely a, fluid mindset, means that you are evolving, you are open to change. If you don’t have a, fluid mindset, you internalize and have what some call “stinking thinking.” You have a toxic, mindset, about yourself or about people. For instance oftentimes when people experience hurt in a relationship, they’ll say I’ll never trust another man again or I’ll never trust another woman again.

 

So, if you don’t have a, fluid mindset, you’re not willing to let that hurt go and embrace truth.

 

The Fixed Mindset

The third, mindset, you mentioned was a, fixed mindset. Just like when we lay concrete, we have to do the work before the concrete sets, because once it sets it’s fixed. So, we have to be careful what we let set in our minds. We have to do the work while the concrete is fluid and pliable.

 

A, fixed mindset, is like set concrete.

 

Renewing the mind, is like renovation of a house. You’ve got to rip out things, knock down walls or beliefs before you can put in the new things or new learnings.

 

When we’re inviting God to, transform your mind, then we have to understand our, psyche, our, self-consciousness, and our heart. That’s why the, mind, is so important because it is connected to all of these aspects of the human person and they’re all interrelated yet distinct.

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The Fixed Mindset is Like Concrete

Myrna – Someone with a, fixed mindset, like concrete why did you say that God can use this person?

In the, Life coaching, world, when we talk about a, fixed mindset, we’re saying that there’s no growth in this person. But if your, mind, is set like concrete, is it possible for it to be changed?

Pastor Glover – Well yes but again you must have awareness of your, fixed mindset. You can get at that concrete two different ways. Through, transformation, which speaks to internal work that has to be done. The word, transformation, comes from the Greek word metamorphosis and so that speaks of going through a, transformation, but it starts from the inside out.

 

The other word that’s used is, renewing, which literally has to do with renovating. When concrete sets, the only way to change it is to get a jackhammer and that’s very painful work. People oftentimes will not choose to do that work, because it is painful, noisy, and messy. But if you’re going to lay a new foundation in your life, you must do the, mental, emotional and spiritual work to jackhammer a, fixed mindset.

 

Myrna – How can God jackhammer to change that, fixed mindset?

 

Fixed mindset in  marital relationships

Pastor Glover – I think an example in the context of, relationships, particularly in the context of, marital relationships, a lot of work that has to be jackhammered in counseling sessions really has to do those, fixed mindsets, about marriage that have been set, but are toxic and are not healthy.

Couples have very different ideas about the foundation of a, marriage, and what it should be about. It is really about how men and women are socialized in our society. Young girls are socialized towards inter interdependent relationships. That’s means they play together, they share much more readily than men do.  They are invested in group success as they are reared and everybody kind of having a good time.

Boys are socialized totally different. They are taught to stand on your own two feet, be independent. Be a man, don’t share your emotions. So, men are much less equipped than women in, marital relationships, to handle a, fixed mindset, that’s why women are 10 times more verbal than men.

One of the fun exercises I like to do when I’m dealing with, communication, is I’ll ask the man and the woman to get a sheet of paper and have each one writes me all the feeling words they are aware of. The woman’s list is four times longer than the man,

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How can God Use a Fixed Mindset?

I’m curious though you also say in your message that God can use a, fixed mindset.

Pastor Glover – When you lay concrete, it’s properly set, it is suitable for what you want to build on it. So, let’s pull in this conversation, purpose and destiny. If you have great purpose or great destiny, you have to take the time to lay the foundation. If your foundation is fixed, God can build on it.

 

People do not take the time to factor in the type of foundation they need to lay to accommodate their dreams and visions of what they want. That can be applied to anything, in my book “30 Days of Excellence”  I teach that excellence is in the foundation that you lay for, purpose and destiny.

 

Be ye not conformed to the world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

 

Why did God say that do not be transformed to the world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind?

The World is Battling for your Mind

Pastor William L Glover – Because it is all a battle for the, mind. This simple principle is found in Proverbs.

 

“As a man thinketh so is he”

  • Your, mindset, determines the reflection of who you are and it determines who you will be.
  • We would never be greater than our thoughts about things.
  • We would never rise above our thoughts about things.
  • We will never allow ourselves to be pulled beneath our thoughts about things.
  • Our thoughts reflect where we are going.

 

It’s a battle for your, mind. The world we live in today, people don’t want to do the work, to think for themselves. There is professional, think tanks, and these, think tanks, think for people and feed them what to believe, what to say.

 

They all are vying for our, minds, we don’t tune in to learn anymore from the news,  we tune in to determine what we need to think. So, hence “do not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the, renewing of your mind.

That, transformation,

  • happens through the word of God,
  • that transformation happens through your relationship with God
  • that transformation happens through a community of faith like-minded believers who are committed to growth.

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Transformation is from the heart.

Your, heart, which is the center of your being, the seat of your soul and this is important because wisdom literature teaches us that we should guard your heart for from it flow the issues of life.

Everything that matters, that’s important to us impacts our, heart.  If the, heart, is injured, broken or unhealthy because the, heart, plumps the pumps the blood. The, heart, pumps the influence of that thing to your spirit and to your soul and to your body.

So, when we talk about the, transformation, then it’s holistic and God is always at work in our lives trying to move us to a place of wholeness in all three of these areas as it pertains to renewal and, transformation.

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Conclusion

As we wrap up how can listeners connect with Mt Hermon Ministries Fort Myers? Tell us about your books and how we can connect on social media.

You can connect with our ministry, we are currently streaming on YouTube and Facebook at MT Hermon Ministries. You can join us Sundays at 11 a.m. you can go to our website.

https://www.mthermonministries.org/ to get some information on our ministry.

 

I am the author of three books:

https://www.amazon.com/JUSTICE-Nations-William-L-Glover/dp/0982910592

  • The justice book which is about your community of faith finding relative relevance as a

change agent in your community

  • 30 Days of Excellence which is a 30-day devotion that cultivates habits of excellence in your life and
  • Ready for the Harvest which teaches us how to apply the principle of seed time and harvest in our lives and all these can be found on Amazon.

You can contact me personally at dr.wmglover0613@gmail.com

My Spiritual Father Helped in the Renewing of My Mind

I enjoyed the conversation, so thank you like we’ve known each other for 14 years let me also state how proud I am of you forging the way.  I remember when you began this journey and witnessing your evolution and growth.  Witnessing how God is enlarging your territory, makes me very proud.  I want to encourage you to continue that journey.

Myrna –  Thank you Pastor and I’ll share something publicly with you that when I wrote my book and you said that you’re proud of me, it brought tears to my eyes because it was the first

Time someone told me that. My father had never said he was proud of me.

As my spiritual father thank you so much for saying that I appreciate it. God sent me to you specifically I didn’t share our story of how I came to be under your guidance, but our connection has a purpose.

Thank you for tuning in to the Transform your Mind to Transform your Life radio podcast and television show.  If you are um listening on iTunes I would love for you to subscribe, rate and review.  I also want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach.

 

Until next time sending you all Blessings

Additional Resources

How to Reprogram your Unconscious Mind

 

How to Heal the Mother Wound From Your Childhood

Mother wound healing

We all know that children from zero to seven are all like little sponges, downloading everything. This is when the, mother wound, gets started. Mothers, are nurturers if the child is not getting nurtured, they fail to thrive.

I want to say that I personally have not had a, mother wound.  My, mother, and I are pretty close. I’m the eldest of four children and my, mother, she’s actually my best friend. But I understand the pain from the, mother wound. I adopted three children from the, foster care, system who were heavily wounded by their, mothers.  They all had, abandonment, issues so,  I experienced firsthand how the, mother wound, affected every aspect of their lives.

The girls became promiscuous with men and boys, wanted friends and have people like them. Also because of the, mother wound, they were not being able to bond with me or my husband, because another bi-product of the, mother wound, is, attachment disorder, so the adoption was not successful in integrating our families.

My guest today is Keri Hummingbird, author of “Love is Fierce: Healing the Mother Wound. If you or anyone you know need healing from, mother wounds, this is the episode for you.

Listen to the full interview here:

 

Introduction

Keri Hummingbird Sami is a soul guide, shamanic healer, award winning author and inspirational speaker. Kerri has over 20 years of experience in helping women rewrite the story of their lives through inner transformation, connection to essence, remembrance of purpose and realignment to authenticity and truth.

Myrna – Kerri what was your relationship with your mother like? Were you wounded by your, mother?

Kerri – Myrna even though your personal experience with your, mother, from your vantage point is very healed, which is a beautiful gift, there is like an ocean of not healed women on the planet. Having a, mother, as a life preserver who knows how to love is so beautiful and really pivotal because everything that happens in our early life, starting from the moment of conception is being recorded.

Starting from the moment of conception in the mother’s womb, babies are being formed in the, consciousness, of the, mother, it can’t be any other way. You’re inside the, mother, you’re being formed by the, mother’s, beliefs about herself, beliefs about the world, ancestral traumas that are unhealed; all of it goes inside of our ancestral DNA in our very human bodies.

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Your Communication with your mother starts in the womb

Just imagine that the voice that you speak to yourself with it starts forming when you’re being formed inside your, mother’s womb, so however your, mother, speaks to herself is how you start to learn to speak to yourself. If the, mother, is not confident or if she’s had sexual traumas or if she does not believe in herself that’s going to influence your development. If the, mother, believes in herself, if she’s strong, if she’s vibrant then you’re getting that. You’re getting that training inside as you’re growing inside her body.

They’ve proven now that babies are able to perceive outside the womb, they’re able to perceive not only what’s going on inside the, mother, but also the outside environment. Babies can perceive things, they can hear voices, a vibration happens they can feel things, they sense things.

So, the beginning of education in earth school starts from the moment of conception. We all know that children from zero to seven are all like little sponges, downloading everything. This is when the, mother wound, gets started. Mothers, are nurturers if the child is not getting nurtured, they fail to thrive.

 

If a child is not being nurtured by the mother they develop a mother wound

If you experience a big loss like an, abandonment, early in that zero to seven age range, that’s hugely impacting. Anywhere along your development from zero to twenty-one, anything that happens is going to be huge for you, because all of your various bodies are getting developed.

Your physical body is getting developed first, then your emotional body is getting developed then your mental body is getting developed, then your spiritual body gets developed until age 28, so all of these bodies are being formed. Everything that happens in your life experience is like creating the context of your life, the inner context.

Myrna – In this moment anyone who is a, mother, should take that role seriously. It’s a big responsibility. Before I got into this consciousness space and this self-improvement space I would hear them talk about the men or women who are in prison and blame their parents. It all starts with their, mother wound.

I always thought it was a big old blame game, but now I know it’s true the, mother wound, develops into so many unfortunate situations.

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Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Your Mother Wound affects your children

Kerri – I want to reassure every, mother, because when I started learning about the, mother wound, I started going to self-judgment. I look at oldest child especially how his life rolled out. He’s really struggling with this and that and I was struggling with the same things while he was in me. I had a lot of, mental health, challenges that I’d been working on when I was pregnant with him at 30.

I had already been working on it for 15 years from the time I was 15 years old because I had early, childhood trauma, so I was trying to heal and I thought I had it all together and then he came into my womb.

This happens to a lot of, mothers, because you get pregnant and then your whole physiology changes. Any traumas from your childhood comes right up to the surface. You start having, postpartum depression, or other things and you’re like why is this happening. I was really excited to have this baby. Why am I going through, postpartum depression?

Having a baby, it’s like the big purge. One of the reasons for, postpartum depression, is not dealing with stuff from your past or not dealing with your, mother wounds. Psychology makes an effort in helping, mothers, to cope with this kind of thing. I even invested in psychotherapy.
I would sit there every week and like try to work on myself.

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How the mother wound affects your romantic relationships

Myrna – If you’re abandoned by your mom or hurt by your mom, the, mother wound, it’s very hard for you to love yourself, then you can’t really be in romantic relationships.

You have to remove the subconscious programming that says you are not good enough and learn to love yourself.  If you can’t release the, mother wound, and love yourself, you will continue to struggle in romantic relationships. You must gain control of your life as it deals with this issue of the, mother wound?

Kerri – I think that subconscious holds the keys to all of it because if you think about this concept of the iceberg submerged in the ocean. The part you see above the water is the conscious mind, but there’s so much more underneath the surface.

There’s so much to explore about your own consciousness to understand yourself better, so that you can show up even better.

You didn’t choose to be molested , you didn’t choose to be abandoned, you didn’t choose to be hurt by your, mother, and have a, mother wound.

According to according to Dr Wayne Dyer‘s teaching he says we chose our parents, because we needed that experience in order to do what we have to do in this earth.

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Psychotherapy can help to heal the mother wound

My journey in psychotherapy helped my understanding of why I had a, mother wound. The home I grew up in from the time I was five years old, was very solid. My mom and my dad worked as a team. I didn’t always like the things that they told me I had to do, but they were caring, they were loving and attentive.

We had three-way hugs in a supportive family environment. We went sailing on the weekends, we had a nice life. So I was like, why am I so screwed up? I had this feeling that something got broken inside of me from my early childhood, because I knew that there was trauma from zero to five years old.

It was a big trauma. My mom married a man who was probably not suited to be a dad. He had his own trauma story from his own childhood of being abused by his mother and left outside of hotel rooms while she slept with men and things like that. He was abandoned in hotels for days, so we had all these traumas he was working through.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict
Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

Unresolved Wounds from your childhood affects your ability to parent

My, mother, started noticing that there was a really good possibility that he was going to molest me. I want to give my mom huge props, because many, mothers, stay in a situation like that afraid to leave, but my, mother, was a warrior of love. So left and found the next best pathway and that was my first step father.

My first stepfather was a violent drunk, so it was very traumatic. So by the time I was five after four years with this violent step father, we moved and just by chance met my second stepfather who I call my dad. He is the man my, mother, has been with for 45 years until he passed away three years ago.

Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts
Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts

Spirituality is the path to healing the mother wound

I started my spiritual path and for me that was the opening because it taped into beyond the mind, it taped into the body where a lot of trauma is stored. Many people know trauma is stored in the body and it taps into the emotional body. When you’re a child and you’re seeing these scary things happening, you don’t have words to talk. You don’t have language.

As an adult, you have to go deeper into the body, the somatic experience. You have to go into inner child healing, and make friends with all these aspects of you and become their parents. It’s really about re-mothering yourself and the re-mothering process takes some time because
of those early conditionings.

You have to stay in the conversation of love and kindness and gentleness long enough for it to start to sink in, and for these aspects to heal. Along that journey all kinds of modalities might happen for you. I found mine in a shaman. Somebody told me they got healed by a shaman and I was like sign me up.

Podcast Land 

 

How can men heal the mother wound?

What are men’s role in healing the, mother wound? A lot of times men add it to the damage that the, mother, started and then the men compound the, mother wound.

Kerri – Men can help by healing the mother wounds inside of them, because all men were boys and they came out of a, mother, so that’s why the solution is the, mother, because we all live in a, mother, to begin life. So, in order to heal we all have to walk back to the, mother.

Your relationship with your, mother, and the programming of love that you received from your, mother, is also your trust in your connection with the divine and earth. It’s a multi-dimensional conversation, because whatever lack of trust you have with your biological mother, that same lack of trust can show up in your connection with the divine, in your connection with the planet.

If you’re disregarding your body, you’re probably also disregarding your impact on the earth.

Luminary 

Why did you write the book “Love is Fierce: healing the mother wound”?

Kerri – My book uses my personal experience to illustrate various points that are very common across humanity so, there’s a lot of themes in the book that talk about why it is that we are in the situation we’re in right now. Why we have so much war and conflict, misunderstanding and divides between people. This is because of the breakdown of the matriarchy. The breakdown of the feminine and how a lot of the patterns we see are derived directly from breakdown of that primary relationship with the, mother.

I had to go through the deep inner work to write the book and to reveal the patterns, but honestly I’ve been working on this project my entire life.

Myrna – I understand, you had 20 years in psychotherapy. This project allowed you to heal your, mother wound, and also heal the, mother wounds, of your children.

Myrna – Where can our listeners connect with you get a copy of your book? How can they connect with you on social media and your website?

Kerri- They can connect with me on my website www.kerrihummingbird.com
On the website there is a link to sign up for 17 days of interviews on the return of mother wisdom, which I find to be really inspiring. I interviewed all these women and they have these beautiful things to say about where we’re going with humanity on the earth.

You can purchase the book on amazon and then you can take your confirmation number over to www.motherwoundbook.com  (receive 17 days of interviews for the Return of Mother Wisdom Series)

I also have a podcast called the Soul Nectar Show, I hope you’re going to come and be a guest on the show.

Free Gift

Love Mastery Game, and oracle card game that explains the Love Lesson you’re learning by a particular challenge.

Additional Resources

Reflection 4 Rejection: Surviving My Mothers Abandonment and Abuse

Learn How to Get Back to Basics With These 7 Core Values

Personal Core values

In order to transform your life, you must first transform your, mindset, by getting, back to basics. The principle here is that there’s a, mindset connection, that we need to make for these seven elements to become our, core values.

The reason that people are not activating the, basics,  in their life is because there isn’t a personal, connection. The, mindset, happens before any strategy or tactic can form our, core values.

My guest today is  T.J Loeffler is a transformational coach and author.

Listen to the full interview here: 

 

T.J realized the right path is actually a change in, mindset, so he wrote the book “Back To Basics: How To Get More Out Of Your Life by Doing Less Than You Think” T.J’s seminar called “Welcome to Yourself” was inspiration from God about establishing our, core values.

 

Our identity “who am I” as the first step in “Welcome to Yourself. Our identity does shape our decisions which then shapes our legacy,  our day-to-day priorities and our, core values.

 

Your past equals your present, if you keep stumbling and hitting your foot on the same thing, until you clarify it and see it, you’re going to continue doing that.

Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

How do we go from “Welcome To Yourself” to “back to basics”?

T.J – Success is really about progress not perfection. Getting, back to basics, started because I was burned out. I was exhausted, and I needed to heal. I realized that until I went through the process of actually healing, changing and growing myself, there would be no way I’d be able help somebody else. I needed to reflect on my, core values.

Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV
Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV

That’s how, back to basics, came about, it’s like put on your mask first.  You’ve got to heal yourself. You’ve got to be able to become whole again by focusing on your, core values.

The seven Core Value System

I teach about the seven, core values, elements or the, core pillar, system.

These are the key elements in the, back-to-basics,  model.

 

  • Diet
  • Sleep
  • Movement
  • Active rest
  • Reflection
  • Connection
  • Fun

How do we define FUN

Fun, is an interesting one, somebody who’s reading this might say okay that sounds kind of cheesy; but let me tell you exactly what I mean. People who grew up in homes where there was extreme anxiety or anxiousness, guess what goes first, fun.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

So, people who don’t know how to return to joy in their life, might have grown up in an environment that was not necessarily healthy, and they learned how to cope with that by doing things that are no longer working for them, like over working.  So when you use that, fun, tool of, back to basics, it puts the, fun, back into your life.

Connection and Back to Basics

The principle here is that there’s a, mindset connection, that we need to make to these seven elements our, core values.

The reason that people are not activating the, basics,  and, core values, in their life is because there isn’t a personal, connection. The, mindset, happens before any strategy or tactic.

So, when you’re asking how do people get, back to basics?  The first thing you need to do is to recognize the need to prioritize your, core values.

I would prioritize my day, when I didn’t know what I was doing.  I was trying to figure out how do you grow a business; how to get more clients? I prioritized learning how to eat right, and eat on time and have enough energy in my own life.

Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts
Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts

A Healthy Diet is a Core Value

Diet – If you don’t eat right, you have no energy.

When it comes to vitamins and minerals, you’re probably looking for the bottom line: How much do you need, and what foods have them? The list below will help you out. It covers all the vitamins and minerals you should get, preferably from food. Calcium Foods that have it: Milk, fortified nondairy alternatives like soy milk, yogurt, hard cheeses, fortified cereals, unfortified almond milk, kaleHow much you need:

  • Adults ages 19-50: 1,000 milligrams per day
  • Women age 51 and older: 1,200 milligrams per day
  • Men age 51 – 70: 1,000 milligrams per day
  • Men 71 and older: 1,200 milligrams per day

What it does: Needed for bone growth and strength, blood clotting, muscle contraction, and more

Don’t get more than this a day: 2,500 milligrams per day for adults age 50 and younger, 2,000 mg per day for those 51 and older

Choline

Foods that have it: Milk, liver, eggs, peanuts

How much you need:

  • Men: 550 milligrams per day
  • Women: 425 milligrams per day
  • Pregnant women: 450 milligrams per day
  • Breastfeeding women: 550 milligrams per day
What it does: Helps make cells Don’t get more than this much: 3,500 milligrams per day

Sleep is important to reduce Stress and is a core value

Sleep – If you don’t, sleep, then you can’t function. Movement and exercise that’s obviously very important to, fun.

 

Highly successful people can have all the money in the bank and  still can’t have, fun.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict
Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

What’s the difference between active rest and sleep?

When you’re actually sleeping, there’s a fluid that washes over our brain and actually, helps us detoxify or take out some of the toxic thoughts that are built up as proteins in our brain.  So, if we’re chronically under-slept, we’re allowing this protein not to do its job.

I don’t know if this is a scientific parallel equivalent, but you could think about this protein as kind of plaque buildup in your brain. If we are not sleeping well enough, if we’re not sleeping long enough, we’re not getting the cleansing that needs to happen in our brain, so we end up with what negative thinking.

If we continue over to, active rest, a lot of people that we’re working with are hyperactive. Hyperactive is the opposite of hypoactive, so when you think about hypoactive that’s more like reclusive or lazy.

People who are wired to be hyperactive or have taught themselves that this is how I get through hard situations that’s not a bad thing, however your body is not meant to be in a state of fight flight or freeze.  So unless we can move from sympathetic tone towards parasympathetic tone or from fight flight to rest and digest state, our body is not going to be able to process things the right way.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Fight Flight or Freeze prevents digestion

For example, your nutrients from your food. You can eat all the kale and salmon you want, but if your body is in, fight flight, or freeze state you’re not going to be digesting that food properly.

So, active rest, helps you down regulate, it helps you go from that state of, fight flight or freeze, where you might be anxious or you might be shallow mouth breathing to a state where you’re more rested while awake.

Body meditation is now a trend, because people are over stimulated and they need a way to effectively down regulate. Here’s the key it’s like you’re hijacking your body your mind and your body have a, connection, that you need to make and many people have lost that, connection.

Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes
Download on iTunes

Active Rest is not Meditation

Active rest, helps you kind of re-establish that as does movement and other things.

The, mind-body connection, is what yoga does.

We’re coming through a, pandemic, it’s going on now for over a year.  Many people might be feeling the consequences of that. You can feel isolated and alone in a city of 8 million people.

The key for, connection, is not quantity it is quality. The problem is people try and find, connection, through others before finding, connection,  with God.  It’s not that you can’t have, connection, with God through others, but it’s that there’s an intimate personal encounter that God wants to have with us.

Connection to God should be a core value

We host the presence of God, you’re connected to him wherever you go, but there’s really a development and cultivation that needs to happen to learn how to host the presence of God.

 

A lot of people do not understand the authority they have over the atmosphere in their home for example. They do not understand the awareness, or they don’t have the awareness to understand the environments that they’re entering into every single day.

 

I think research has shown that we do need people, it’s nice to have a relationship with God, but we actually do need people.

 

What is your research on loneliness?

 

Even though you might be spiritually connected to God, you still need people.

 

Tell our listeners how they can connect with you. You said that your book is delayed, but tell us about your first book and your website, coaching and your podcast.

Conclusion

If anybody listening or reading, first I hope first and foremost you receive what was shared today from Myrna and me as seeds. That’s my encouragement to you that when you receive seeds, you can let those seeds grow to trees and over time you know that is really something that you look at in your life. Let those seeds become your, core values.

 

If you want more seeds, you can go to my site is tjloeffler.com and there you’ll find not only the podcast, but you’ll also find access to everything else that Myrna mentioned, and the podcast is just a great way to start. The podcast is a great way to continue working on your mindset. My podcast is called Mindset with T.J Loefler.

 

You can listen to the podcast or you can purchase the book from my website corepillars.com. It’s called “Back to basics how to get more out of life by doing less than you think” teaching you the, core pillar, system.

 

I also want to invite you guys to join my Facebook group Lifecoach. If you have not done so already please subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review.

 

My team and I were referencing this scripture and I would like to leave this with you. I believe this will be encouraging to somebody who’s reading this blog.

 

1 Timothy 6:6, NIV: “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” … 1 Timothy 6:6, NLT: “Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth.”

 

When we find contentment with what we have and no need for more, we know that we can truly rest in God’s presence, however I would also say if you’re reading this and you do have a desire for more, that’s a healthy desire.

 

So, godliness with contentment is great, but you don’t have to be satisfied, there’s more out there so keep going.

Additional Resources

Ask Coach Myrna: How to Start Over?

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

 

How to Release Childhood Trauma of Guilt Shame

Healing ourselves from Childhood Trauma

Trauma, is a shock to the, nervous system. And when, childhood trauma, is stored instead of released, it can cause physical and, mental health, issues down the road. When, trauma, occurs,  in an effort of protection, your brain temporarily pauses your memory processing system, and the experience is not stored as traditional memories.

Today I am talking with Emily Francis. Emily  is the best selling author of “Healing Ourselves Whole”

Listen to the full interview here:

 

Healing Ourselves Whole will give you the tools you need to clean your emotional house from top to bottom, complete with journal prompts and access to audio meditations for you to listen along to as you read.

As a trained, body worker, Emily Francis offers a refreshing perspective into healing, trauma. She reveals unique knowledge of the body as a holder for memory. Emily will lead you on a path deep within yourself to rearrange the ways that, pain, and, trauma, have been holding you back from whole body, mind, spirit, and, energy healing. You will rearrange the dialogue within your body memory systems as well as learn a practice to re-birth by healing your, inner child, and adolescent selves, coming into the present to create the best adult self possible.

This groundbreaking interactive book contains a journal and access to audio meditations for you to listen to as you read. The meditations will help you dig deep into past, trauma, and discover when and how, trauma, took root. Learn to get in touch with various parts of the physical and, energy body, and how to use them to let go of stored, traumas, and rediscover the deeply held joys that have also been stored within the body. From this, you will learn to live from a new mindful and powerful space.

book: Healing Ourselves Whole from trauma
book: Healing Ourselves Whole

How to release trauma from the body

My Psychotherapist told me to do something called catch and release. Which means whenever you catch yourself being triggered by past, trauma. This happens whenever you begin to feel bad, and you are not sure why. Whenever you feel your body going into reaction mode,  breathe in and then release it.  This allows the feelings you have stuffed down to come out.

Myrna – Emily can you share with our readers how they can  to us start to release, traumatic experiences, from their body?

Emily – In my book, Healing Ourselves Whole, I help my readers put their own hands on their body. When I am helping my clients in person, I help them, release trauma,  in their body by putting my hands on their body to help them locate where the, trauma, had gone in, or the shame, or the guilt.

Why our bodies hold Trauma

Our muscles and tissues store the memory of, trauma.  They also store memories of Joy.  That’s my work; but I couldn’t write a book and teach you how to do Hands On Healing, so I wrote a book teaching you how to dialogue inside your body.  This book “Healing Ourselves Whole” has a chapter for every emotion we hold in our body. We go through a 15 to 20-minute meditation on releasing, body trauma.

The workbook included with the book allows you to journal and go through all the senses to find the, trauma, carrot or the shame carrot or the guilt or grief. I teach you through this book how to do the body work by yourself. I’m not a therapist, so some behaviors and thoughts still need to be treated by, hypnosis therapy, like EMDR.

I work on the part of the body that is holding the, pain, and blocking the healing, so you still need your, cognitive therapist.

Childhood trauma and body trauma are connected

I have some, childhood trauma, and I know that until I became conscious that I was stuffing things down instead of understanding my emotions, I never understood that my, childhood trauma, was influencing my present. My, childhood trauma, also affected my relationships earlier in life before I was able to start to release them.

This is a great topic on releasing, chronic pain, because some people go to their graves not understanding that their quality of life was hampered by, what happened to them. Sometimes the, wounds, were only from, childhood, but relationships earlier in their lives eg.  lovers, friends, teachers etc.

Emily, what made you become a wellness expert?

I graduated undergraduate with a science and, wellness, degree then I went on to become an aerobic yoga instructor. Then I started suffering from extreme panic attacks and agoraphobia, so I went from loving to be on the stage, to not wanting to leave my house.  I was a college cheerleader, I worked out every day, I was at the gym three to five hours a day teaching different classes and I was like rocking.

The more crowded the better.  I fed off the energy and then I turned twenty-five!  I stopped drinking and the mask dropped and the crazy came up. All the, pain, that I had stuff down came to a flying head and I had to stop myself from extreme anxiety and panic attacks.

It took seven years for me to understand that the reason for my anxiety and panic attacks were because of, childhood trauma, that I had stuffed down. I missed a lot of my hot years as a young adult because I couldn’t hang out with friends or go to bars without feeling like I was crazy.  I really stepped away from life and just sat out and watched life pass me by. My, mental health, was of grave concern to me.  I prayed a lot.  I did a lot of intensive work, meditative work.  I went to a million different, healers.  if I heard of something for, body trauma, I was there.  I went through 7 years of, holistic therapy, and nothing worked until I finally broke down and tried a child’s dose of an antidepressant.

When I was able to heal myself, I want to share and that is why I wrote the book Healing Ourselves Whole

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Can medications help with Childhood Trauma?

After 7 years of looking for a treatment, I came across a book by a psychotherapist named Tom Rutledge.  He suggested medications. I tried it and it worked for me. The antidepressant worked because it regulated my brain and here is the thing that I learnt from Tom.  I was reading his book and embracing fear and I decided to write this letter to him. I wrote that I was a big phony and a liar, and I’ve been writing all these years and it was  just crap.  I am crap and I wrote this long letter.  It was like reading my autobiography. I just wrote out all the things I had been telling myself all these years.

Tom Rutledge replied that I should consider medication. He said that we must first regulate the brain before we can start the healing process and suggested that we should try medication. I rejected medication, because it goes against everything, I believe in.  It goes against my holistic principal, it was a Band-Aid. I said no I’m not interested, and he wrote back. He said there’s a part that I think you’ve missed, the brain and the mind are not the same thing.  The mind is where your thoughts and behaviors are, the brain is an organ in your body. It’s like your heart or your liver or kidneys.  You would not hesitate to take medication if your heart or liver or kidneys were malfunctioning.

But, mental illness, comes with a stigma. People hesitate to take medication because they feel it makes them crazy. Antidepressants are just something to regulate your brain. The brain is an organ and you’re missing some chemicals in your brain and that is the reason for the anxiety and panic attacks.  Once you get that regulated all the work that you’ve done because you’ve done significant with healers will be able to come through.

Book: Hollywood endings How to get one
Book: Hollywood endings How to get one

Hollywood Endings and How to Get One

 Yes, you can create what you want with imagination an intention. The movie themes the world loves are few and simple; they are the themes that have been portrayed over and over since Hollywood began to make movies. These classics have the most wonderful endings: love overcomes all; good defeats evil; the wayward child comes home. Anyone can be a hero, and everyone has a Guardian Angel.

Hollywood Endings – Using Imagination and Intention is about self-awareness, recovery and enlightenment. It’s for anyone who has ever wanted or dreamed of having a “Hollywood ending.” It is for those of us who never had a role model to show us how it’s done. It celebrates the wonder of the movies and urges us to see movies once to be entertained, and then return to see them again to learn from them. We all deserve a Hollywood ending. This book can show you how with life lessons from Dances With Wolves, National Velvet, Die Hard, and The Color Purple, to name a few.

Rewrite your own story and give it a Hollywood ending.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Trauma gets stuck in the body

Trauma, gets attached to your tissues, because the experience of stress, particularly, childhood trauma, causes stress and can trigger active survival responses of fight, flight, or freeze. When your, body trauma, can’t activate or complete these responses, those sensations become trapped in your nervous system.

Trauma, is a shock to the, nervous system. And when that, trauma, is stored instead of released, it can cause physical and, mental health, issues down the road. When, trauma, occurs,  in an effort of protection, your brain temporarily pauses your memory processing system, and the experience is not stored as traditional memories.

Instead of being stored as a complete memory, traumatic experiences are thought to be stored as fragments of pictures of, body sensations or, body trauma.  These fragments are unprocessed and thus don’t fit in the system as they should. Because they don’t fit, these fragments can surface unexpectedly as nightmares, flashbacks, or general angst and unease. Most of the time you don’t know why you are feeling uneasy.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

How to Release Trauma Trapped in the Body

International Trauma-Healing Institute founder Gina Ross has developed a simple process called Emotion Aid. Here is a summary of those steps you can use to begin to,  release trauma, trapped in your body.

  1. First, assess where you are: rate your stress or upset from a low of 1 to a high of 7. If it is high, first practice the following Grounding Steps.
    1. Begin by Butterfly Hugging and Tapping– hug yourself and then alternately tap on your arms, from side to side, 25 times. Then take a deep breath. Repeat this until your stress level begins to drop noticeably.
    2. Next, Send Roots into the Ground. Notice your feet or, if your seated, your back, buttocks, and back of your legs in the chair.  Now notice your feet or lower body being firmly connected to the floor, then to the ground, like roots going deep into the earth. Take a deep breath. Then gaze about the room and notice objects or textures about the room, remaining connected to your “roots.”
    3. Finally, Notice Breathing: Put one hand on your chest and one hand your belly. Now just be with your breath, not trying to change it, but just noticing the rhythm of it. Then make a heart shape with your fingertips and bring awareness to your beating heart.

How to discharge body trauma

  1. Now begin to Discharge Sensations and Release Stress.
    1. First, notice your breath and Breathe Notice any sensations that come up naturally. As you release, trauma, and  stress hormones, they will present through sensations like shaking, heat, sweating, yawning, goosebumps, changed breath, and gurgling in the stomach. Be curious about the feelings and be with them, and they will naturally discharge. Do not judge or critique what you are feeling or sensing.
    2. Next, briefly review the, childhood trauma, or troubling thoughts that lead to the sensations. As you review, notice the Feelings that come up as you consider what happened. It’s important to go slow so that you’re only allowing the activation of one feeling at a time. Just be with it and give it plenty of time. Then notice the discharge that emerges as you follow the sensations. (Know that you can temporarily set aside sensations and emotions that you are not focusing on at the moment. For example, imagine putting them on a shelf for the moment.)
    3. Then work with the Thoughts. Again, as you notice one thought at a time, observe the sensations that show up with these thoughts. Let go of the judgment or criticism. Just be present and continue to observe what happens next and experience the sensations discharging and releasing from the body.
    4. Now notice and bring to awareness Resources. A resource is anything that feels strong and calm to you. These can be external (for example, the kind eyes of a good friend) or internal (perhaps the memory of a personal achievement). As you recall or hold these resources notice the sensations that show up in your body. Take a few minutes to feel the sense of calm and strength in your body.

Conclusion

Listen to Emily radio show All About Healing 

Subscribe to the Transform your Mind Radio Podcast and TV show on iTunes, Spotify, or any of the podcast players

If you would like daily inspiration on how to transform your life, I invite you to join my Facebook group Lifecoach

Additional Resources

Drug and Alcohol Treatment for Women with Trauma

How to Write Your Own Hollywood Ending

Hollywood ending life story

A lot of times if you believe it and pray about it your, Hollywood movie, will turn out exactly the way that you want it to be. If we use our imagination, we can create our, Hollywood ending. Think of that bad job you are in and create your, Hollywood movie, with your own, Hollywood ending with you in your dream job, in your dream relationship and your dream family.  First you must have the baseline of, self-awareness, then you use your imagination to write the script. Where do I want to get to, what’s my goal?  You are the Director, Producer and star of your Life Movie.

My guest today is Linda Flanders, Author of “Hollywood Endings and How to Get One”

Years ago, my pastor preached a message that when we’re born there is a blank page.  We have a beginning, and we have an ending and in the middle we are supposed to write our story. We are the director of our life movie, producer and the Star in our, Hollywood ending.

Listen to the full interview Here 

Writing your Hollywood Ending

Yes, you can create what you want with imagination an intention. The movie themes the world loves are few and simple; they are the themes that have been portrayed over and over since Hollywood began to make movies. These classics have the most wonderful endings: love overcomes all; good defeats evil; the wayward child comes home. Anyone can be a hero, and everyone has a Guardian Angel.

Hollywood Endings – Using Imagination and Intention is about self-awareness, recovery and enlightenment. It’s for anyone who has ever wanted or dreamed of having a “Hollywood ending.” It is for those of us who never had a role model to show us how it’s done. It celebrates the wonder of the movies and urges us to see movies once to be entertained, and then return to see them again to learn from them. We all deserve a Hollywood ending. This book can show you how with life lessons from Dances With Wolves, National Velvet, Die Hard, and The Color Purple, to name a few.

Book: Hollywood endings How to get one
Book: Hollywood endings How to get one

Rewrite your own story and give it a Hollywood ending.

Linda has been a, FeldenKrais, practitioner for 30 years and an independent video producer. Flanders and her sister Dr Dorothy Halla-Poe created the, matrix model, an innovative way to work with children’s atypical behavior and, learning disabilities.  They specialized in using the, filmmaking, process as a learning and teaching tool, focusing on projects that are educational and promote social and personal change.

Myrna – I love the idea of using the, Hollywood movie, and, filmmaking, process as a learning tool to help children with, learning disabilities.  Can you share how that works.

Linda – I am a, Feldenkrais, practitioner and have been for 30 years and while that particular mode of learning has to do with learning, self-awareness, and learning through options.  I started working with young children who needed physical therapy and occupational therapy; but their behavior was such that they were absolutely out of control and scared the, physical therapist, on the, occupational therapist.

I started working with children behavior focusing specifically on self-awareness and self-control. If we have those two things, we can pretty much guide our own, Hollywood ending. If we do not have them, then we are vulnerable to so many awful things that can happen in our life.  If we cannot control ourselves and become the, Director, in our own, Hollywood movie, somebody else is going to control us.

 

I started using making, movies, as a fun activity with children and what I found was that even with multiple, psychiatric labels, attached to them and very bizarre behaviors, they all listened to the, director, if they played a part in a, movie.

 

When they had a camera in their face and the, director, said do this; they did it without hesitation. No attitude or behavioral issues. The children also loved watching themselves over and over in their, Hollywood movie. Science has shown that kids watching themselves act a certain way reinforces new neural pathways in their brain of new behavior.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

The, Feldenkrais method, is an educational way of learning to teach self-awareness.

Myrna – I understand the behavioral piece in making a, Hollywood movie; but I don’t understand how making a, movie, helps children with, learning disabilities.

Linda – In making our, Hollywood movie, I had them freeze for the camera while I ran around with the camera to a different angle, because that’s how a, Hollywood movie,  is made.

The children had to be in the, present moment, and they had to control themselves from the inside out. That is the huge piece of, self-control, and if they can gain, self-control, then they’ve got a better opportunity in school to be able to learn the different topics that they needed to learn.

In making a, Hollywood movie, they became much more aware of themselves and what they could do and what they couldn’t do. When they fell apart and got angry or sad or wanted to be the star of the, Hollywood movie, those issued had to be worked out during the filming of the, movie.

Myrna – That’s great and innovative. I hope teachers who are listening will take some cues from you because now we all can make, Hollywood movies, with our cell phones!

Hollywood Endings and How to Get One

Let’s transition into your book.  You wrote the book “Hollywood Endings and How to Get One” Tell us what would you like the readers to walk away with after reading your book.

Linda – Absolutely, it is a, self-help book, or a, self-improvement book. It teaches, mindfulness, helps with raising, self-awareness, on topics like “are you happy” “are you content with your job” etc.

The book teaches the science of, mindfulness, of paying attention to the moment, so you are fully present. In the science world this is called, neuroplasticity.  Change your brain, change your life.

If we use our imagination, we can create our, Hollywood ending. You think of that bad job you are in and create your, Hollywood movie, with your own, Hollywood ending. First you must have the baseline of, self-awareness, then you use your imagination to write the script. Where do I want to get to, what’s my goal?

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Your Hollywood Ending doesn’t have to be romantic

The idea of the, Hollywood ending, is not necessarily a romantic one, it could be any goal you have. If you reach that goal that’s a, Hollywood ending.

Myrna – When you were talking my mind went directly to the, Hollywood movie, Pretty Woman.

The movie started with the words, Hollywood, where dreams were made, anything is possible in, Hollywood! It ended with the same words.

But in the movie specifically Julia Roberts had a dream. She had a dream of her own, Hollywood ending.   She actually told Richard Gere in the movie hey “all the time I was dreaming you about my Prince Charming, I would dream I would be locked up into this room in this castle and the prince would climb up and he would rescue me. Nowhere in my, Hollywood ending, did he say I’m going to put you up in a condo as my mistress.

It’s really true, if you’ve got a goal and you’ve got a dream of your movie of life having a, Hollywood ending, it’s very hard for someone to knock you off of it.  Which is why she didn’t accept that offer which she said was a good offer for a girl like her.

She had gained, self-awareness, in that whole process of being a highly paid call girl for a week.

Linda – In the book I do explain the three systems of the brain.  I’m not a, neuroscientist;  but the information’s out there,  I  simply simplified it.

The Brain Systems

  1. The producer brain, because without a producer you don’t have a, Hollywood movie. The producer brain is the, reptilian brain, and that keeps us breathing. It keeps our heart beating. So, we don’t have a lot of control over that one
  2. The, limbic system, is the home of the emotions and we can live there we can, but we can also get stuck there. You can become a drama queen always reacting to life instead of working in the direction we want to go.
  3. The cerebral cortex, the Director brain. That’s where we plan, where we use our own judgment, where we use our common sense, our reasoning.

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Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
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There’s another movie that Julia Roberts was in called “Sleeping with the Enemy” where she is in a very abusive domestic violence situation.  I talk about that movie in my book, because if you can’t leave a situation, you can watch that movie and get ideas to leave your situation.

In the, Hollywood movie, she planned her escape. She learnt to swim, she selected her disguises so her husband could not find her, she picked a place that she would live. She imagined her, Hollywood ending. She set all the pieces in order first, then she made her escape and that’s what I’m teaching in the book.  We could use, Hollywood movies, and our imagination to write our own, Hollywood ending.

Myrna – So you want readers to walk away with the vision that they can direct their lives. They can plan it out, they can be a director, the producer of their own lives, because their life is like a, Hollywood movie.

Linda – Yes, each chapter there is a list of a few things to do. The first one is go watch a, Hollywood movie, but I want you to watch this movie through this lens, so that you’re watching the movie from a different perspective.  You’re gaining awareness from watching that movie. For example in the, Hollywood movie, Die Hard, with Bruce Willis.

In that movie there are places where Bruce Willis is so emotionally distraught, that he’s not thinking.  He throws some C4 down an elevator chute without recognizing that it’s gonna explode and where’s that explosion gonna come?  It’s gonna come right back up the chute into his face. That’s an example of us doing something without thinking of the consequences which blows up in our face.

Myrna – I don’t know much about movies or directing, but I know as a, Life coach, I always teach that we’re the director of our own lives, because we make the decisions and direct our choices.

What is the FeldenKrais Method

One of the things within, Feldenkrais model, is taught through movement.  We teach awareness, options and choice, but these lessons are taught through the avenue of movement.  One of the classic lessons in the, Feldenkrais, community is called a pelvic clock. It’s the ability to get your pelvis moving in all the different directions of a clock.  It’s better to be able to move a little bit in all these directions than a whole lot just one way, so it’s definitely the opposite of one-way thinking.

In my work with children I teach them how to create a clock from clay. They have to make the clock and they have to make the one, two, three, four all the way to twelve.  Then they have to make a little person and put the person in the center of the clock.  The idea what if you altered your behavior just a little bit. Just a little bit to move to the next number on the clock.  Step by step by step. You don’t have to stop doing something just change it a little bit.

It could be drug use, overeating or alcohol in adults. The idea is its okay if you can’t completely stop drinking but can you cut back a little bit with awareness. If you can’t make a small change, then you become aware that you have a real problem.

It’s this intertwining of movement and thinking with our emotions that get tied up in this knot and through the Feldenkrais method of movement and awareness you can break those up and then make small changes.  Transformation comes faster because you’ve incorporated movement as well as thinking and emotions.

FeldenKrais Method uses movement to achieve change 

Myrna – Yes that is the mind and body connection as taught in Yoga.

Linda – If we want to become the director in our own, Hollywood movie, then this is simply a way that we can do it.  Shakespeare said that “the whole world is a stage and we’re just actors on it”

Myrna – In this day and age everybody’s got a camera, people are making big money just recording on their smart phones. You do not need the big fancy movie camera to record your own, Hollywood movie.

 

Free Feldenkrais Summit

From May 1st through May 10th there is a free online Feldenkrais summit that you want to invite our listeners and TV audience.

It’s an international summit, so for those whole two weeks you have presentations that come from, Feldenkrais, practitioners around the world who have taken their work and specialized in it.  You can learn about using this method to help with trauma. There is trauma from anyone who is victimized and has been traumatized.

Some have taken, Feldenkrais, into working with world-class athletes and top performers.

Some have taken it literally into working with animals. Linda Tellington Jones can do amazing things with animals.

I took it into behavior, so it could be applied in a whole bunch of different ways.

So, the summit has all these different international speakers. It is literally 24 hours of

Feldonkrais, awareness through movement.

It’s all free so it’s an opportunity for people to experience the, Feldenkrais method, and break up those muscular patterns so you can feel better. Because when you move better, you can feel better.

 

Register on www.feldenkraissummit.com

Conclusion

In closing a, Hollywood movie, I am going to suggest everybody go watch the, Hollywood movie, Baby Boom with Diane Keaton because in an instant she a New York executive and literally overnight she becomes a single parent of a toddler who had lost her parents.

She took the circumstances of her life and created her own, Hollywood ending.

It you found this content inspirational, Please remember to subscribe and leave a review on iTunes.  You are invited to join my private Facebook Group called “Lifecoach

Additional Resources

 

How to Reprogram your Unconscious Mind

unconscious mind

Your, unconscious mind,  is carrying out behaviors that sabotage your, conscious mind, 24 hours per day. In fact studies show that our, subconscious,  mind,  is running our lives 95% of the time. If you don’t,  reprogram your subconscious mind, you will continue to run the same, subconscious  programs, like a a tape recorder.  We have to erase the tape and rewrite the tape for it to play new programs.  Listen to the interview to learn how to, reprogram your unconscious mind.

Listen to the full interview here: 

Introduction, Unconscious mind

Whenever you are on autopilot, you are running, unconscious mind.  Have you ever gotten in your car and driven to your destination and you don’t recall how you got there.  That is your, unconscious mind, driving you to your destination.

Autopilot is just one of your, subconscious programs,  that has to do with your beliefs.

These, subconscious  programs, were downloaded to you before your 7th birthday are the programs your, unconscious mind,  play until you die; unless you, reprogram your subconscious mind.

Even if you become aware of your, subconscious programs, you still continue the behaviors because the, unconscious mind,  will keep playing the same, subconscious programs.  Think about your vinyl record.  Unless you scratch the record, it will play the same song forever!

When I was growing up my activity of choice  was reading Harlequin romances. I was brainwashed into believing that love looked and acted in a certain way. For example, all the leading men in my Harlequin romance novels, were rugged, tall, dark and good looking. All the leading ladies were independent and did not want a man’s help; so the man and the woman ended up feuding and hating each other until they realized that all, this attention they are placing on each other fighting,  were actually the flip side of love!

These lovers, leading men and ladies were never a good match.  Chemistry and raw physical attraction lead the way.  Thirty years later, I was still playing that, subconscious program,  It wasn’t until I met my husband that I started looking on the inside of a man, and not what he presented on the outside that I was able to, reprogram my unconscious mind,

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I was listening to a sermon by, Joel Osteen, a few months back and he was telling the story of, subconscious programs, with his sister. Joel said his sister was praying and asking God for a husband and God sent her a wonderful man; but she rejected him because he had red hair. He did not fit her, subconscious programs, for a mate. It took her years to reprogram her mindset  and love this man.

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Did you grow up in a home where your dad worked and your mom stayed home and watched the kids? You never saw your dad because he was always working and your family just had enough? That is your model of a family and today you are probably still running this, subconscious programs,

 

What is your, Unconscious Mind,  that needs to be rewritten?

I was a foster mom for years.  I see the, unconscious mind, in foster and adopted kids all the time. Especially since most of them came into foster care system before their 7th birthday.  They developed programs on, abandonment, attachment disorders, survival, most of them hoard food because their, unconscious mind, and  lack and survival.

Here are 5,  subconscious programs, Teenagers are running today

  1. Make generalizations (no one loves me, I’m always going to be a failure, I’ll never get a job or pass this test)
  2. Make choices and judgment based on past experiences.

3. Settle in life, don’t apply for jobs or get involved in extra curricular activities.

4. Reviews information and draws conclusions.

If someone breaks their heart, they learn to not trust people – to avoid being hurt again. If living in poverty, feel like will never get enough money to make it out of poverty. If get in a fight, feel they always need to protect them self

    5.  Accepts information literally and personally (take a lot of things said to heart, but not as constructive criticism)

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How to control your, Unconscious Mind

  1. A mental picture is worth a thousand words. Your, unconscious mind, will bring to pass any picture held in the mind and backed by faith.

This is the space I am spending a lot of time in, at the moment.  I am working on visualizing my goals and desires and speaking, affirmations.   I am having a hard time of it, because I am not a visual person. But this is the first step in controlling the, unconscious mind,  Visualizing what you want.  Let the, unconscious mind, find the way, you only have to give it the destination.

For example if you want to be married by the age of 30 and have 3 kids.  That is the mental picture you give your, unconscious mind,  The universe will find the man and arrange the kids! Just say, affirmations, every day to reprogram your, unconscious mind.

Daily Affirmations, like:

  • I will get married to the man of my dreams by age 30
  • The Universe will deliver to me the man of my dreams by the time I am 30
  • I will get married by age 30 and have 3 kids by age 35

Remember to give your, unconscious mind, only instructions that would elevate and heal. It is the secret to your success. Your, unconscious mind, cannot take a joke. Don’t say things like with my luck the man that shows up would be bowed legged with buck teeth!   Because guess what, hold that image in your mind for any length of time and that is what you will get, a bow legged man with buck teeth. Trust me on this.

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  1. Use, Autosuggestion, to improve any degradation.

About 10 years ago I read, Deepak Chopra’s,  book called Grow Younger, Live Longer In this book Deepak taught us to say, affirmations, every day.  It went like this.

Daily Affirmations for aging younger

  • Every day, in every way, I am getting younger and younger,
  • my biological clock is set at a healthy 30 years of age,
  • I look and feel a healthy 30 years of age.
  • Every day I am renewing my mind and body by eating healthy foods,
  • I take nutritional supplements wisely, etc.

I don’t remember all of it.  I was saying these, affirmations, around my 40th birthday.  So over 20 years ago.  I still remember those, affirmations, because I said them every day for several months.

This year on  my 60th birthday, I posted a picture on Facebook and this girl commented.  She said “It is like you stopped aging at 30 years old.  You just said F**K it!  I am not getting any older! I do look 20 years younger than my chronological age and that’s because I rewrote my, subconscious programs,!

How to Rewrite  Your Subconscious Mind

In my, conscious mind, I was always planning out my future and all things I wanted it to entail.  I told myself, you will never be broke, you’re a go getter and you will always meet your basic necessities because of that.  This mindset, relays into my life because it reminds me that failure is never an option and all things are possible because I know it is.

Many times, I feel that I have programmed my, unconscious mind, for the success.  I heal myself faster from injuries.  For example, one time my eye was swollen, and I had a workshop coming up in 2 days.  I said to my, subconscious mind, don’t sweat it, you are going to get a warm rag and sleep with it on your eye, then you will use antibiotics and by the day of your workshop it will be gone.

Sure enough, the eye was not swollen anymore and I was able to facilitate my workshop with two functional eyes.  Furthermore, despite all the adversity I have experienced in my life, I was always sure that I would finish University and get my degree.  I programmed my, unconscious mind, to  prepare for the test.

Remember the, unconscious mind, is carrying out behaviors that sabotage the, conscious mind.

Our, subconscious programs, doesn’t stop at age 7; but continues for the rest of our lives.

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Getting Past our, Subconscious Programs

  1. Take risks to get past, subconscious programs,  Your, unconscious mind,  always wants to play it safe.
  2. Ask questions like, What else is possible that I have not considered?
  3. Say things like, how cool is it that I have all this extra money.

4. What am I going to do with all this extra cash?

5. How can I make this a reality?

6. What if I become a successful as a TV talk show host?  What would that look like? See yourself in this role. This one is for me!!

Conclusion reprogram your unconscious mind

This strategy is called, auto inquisition.  Thomas Edison practiced, auto inquisition. He would sit in a chair and ask his, unconscious mind, questions about an invention.  You can do the same.

    1. Give yourself permission to be successful, believe that you deserve good things to happen
    2. Don’t allow other peoples fears to make you doubt yourself.
    3. Surround yourself with positive reinforcement and allies.
    4. Speak your success as present fact not a future plan.  Instead of saying I am figuring out how to do that now, say I am strategist.  What do I need to make that happen right now.
    5. Start asking for what you want and keep track of all the things that have happened (gratitude journal)
    6. Create a vision space, so you can imagine what it is you want to happen in your life.

Additional Resources Unconscious mind

How to Live in Infinite Possibility

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-use-intuition-to-transform-your-life/

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-program-your-subconscious-for-permanent-change/

https://inlpcenter.org/five-step-process-for-releasing-limiting-beliefs/

 

 

 

 

5 Mindset Shifts For Couples to Have Fantastic Relationships

mindset shifts for long term relationships

If you want a fantastic, relationship, with your significant other, you need some mindset shifts, from thinking like a girlfriend to thinking like his wife.

Mindset shifts or, transformation, is necessary if your belief system is not producing the results you are expecting in life. As a Life and, Transformation, Coach, I wanted to share some, mindset, transformations about relationships that may get you better results.

5 Mindset Shifts

1. What is the right reason to enter into a long term relationship?

Most of us (including me before I was enlightened) feel that we should enter into a long term commitment because we “fell” in love.
Others may enter into a long term, relationship, like marriage because they want children; they want security or even to stem loneliness. But, according to Neale Donald Walsch from the “Conversations with God” series, we should put a little more thought into choosing a long term partner than feelings.

 

We should enter into a long term partnership for a mutually beneficial purpose.

I was watching an very old episode of Oprah a few weeks ago and she was interviewing the Smith’s. I was so impressed with Will Smith and Jada Pinketh Smith’s philosophy on marriage and family. They had a mutually beneficial purpose for their, relationship, and it continues today. They have family meetings every week to keep the purpose of the marriage and family in front of them.

Their purpose for getting together was to enhance the lives of others and they do that by always choosing work that inspires others.
And even though we have heard many rumors of the marriage failing, it is still standing because their purpose for it is greater than the two of them.

  • So when two people enter in a, long term relationship, they have the, mindset, to figure out the Why? What is the mutually beneficial purpose?
    Are they wanting to bring up children for a purpose?
    Like Will and Jada Smith
    -Are they wanting to enhance Gods kingdom?
    Like Joel and Victoria Osteen
    -Are they going to change the world through leadership?
    Like Barack and Michelle Obama?

If the purpose is strong it will be like a house built on the rocks, it will withstand the storms

Why relationships Fail

2. Mindset Shifts, Why do relationships fail?
Statistics show that, relationships, fail because of failed expectations.
Most, relationships, start out with each party having predefined expectations about what they want out of the relationship and what they want from the other person.

Contrary to popular opinion another person cannot complete you, you must complete yourself.

The bible teaches that it is not if another person will disappoint, but when. So when you enter into a, relationship, and its survival is based on what the other person does, says, etc. You will always be disappointed.

Mindset shifts,  is necessary to become the best you, to make sure you are living up to your ideal self because we can never change another person, we can only change ourselves.
For example, there is conflict over a wife’s expectation that her husband takes her out on romantic dinners once per month. She is waiting on him to make the offer and he doesn’t, instead he goes out with his friends and leaves her at home with the kids.
She has several options:
Sulking, picking a fight, going out with her girlfriends – none of which heals the relationship – or she can Give That Which She Wants.
She can take him to dinner, she can cook a romantic dinner and send the kids to the babysitter. She can respond with love.

Anything you want, you first have to give.

Mindset Shift – Take care of yourself First

3. Mindset shifts: – Become self-centered.
I know this is going to shock some, because we were all brought up to believe that being selfish and self-centered is bad; but not according to the bible! The bible teaches that we must love others as we love ourselves.

Our first relationship must be with self.

We must learn to honor and cherish self and love ourselves before we can love another.
We can never truly fall in love with another, until we have truly fallen in love with ourselves.
I know women are always sacrificing self for others, they think it makes for a good relationship; but it has the opposite effect.

They get burnt out and then resentment sets in. Then they start to resent their spouse for doing nothing. They cultivated that attitude.
The old saying that you have to train people how to treat you is truth. You start off doing all the work in the home, looking after the kids, doing all the cooking, while your spouse drinks beer and watch TV, then 5 years later when you are burnt out. You shouldn’t blame your spouse!

You should be self centered and make time in the day for your self.
Get up and go to the gym, walk, pray or meditate.
Make time in the evening to reflect, learn something, relax!
Everyone around you will benefit.

4. Mindset shifts:   – Being hurt and disappointed  

We will all have hurt and disappointments in our lives.
In fact there is an old saying that says:

You are either going through something, coming out of something or about to go through something!

It is time for us to adopt a different response to our challenges and disappointments.
As humans we react with pain and hurt to what another is being, saying or doing.
The first thing we should do is to become conscious and aware of the feelings we are having.
Don’t run from the pain, don’t mask it with drugs or alcohol. Feel it, acknowledge it.
Try to find yourself in it.
Be honest with your feelings.

It is very important to not react with vengeance or rage, and to understand your true feelings.
Once you feel it and acknowledge it, it’s power over you diminishes and you can get to the place of this of

“This too shall pass”.
After that you can then reach for your highest self and look for the lessons.

A master knows that all experiences comes to teach and is for self-growth.

5. Mindset shifts, – Forgive or look past behaviors of your spouse or significant 

As Christians we are taught to forgive, if we want to forgiveness.
To not judge before we take the plank out of our own eyes.
So it would seem that the Christian thing to do is to forgive our spouses for his/her sins.
But in the book “Conversations with God” by Neale Donald Walsh

The author teaches that you should always do what’s best for us. Remember we are self-centered.
Your girl friends are always going to encourage you to leave your husband because he is a cheater.
Walsch says that you should leave your spouse only if it is best action for you or your children.
You leave when the marriage no longer fulfills its purpose.

Let’s look at Hilary Clinton. I believe she married Bill Clinton with a purpose. He has always been a cheater but she saw his potential as a future President; So she proposed to him and chose to overlook his infidelity. She chose self!
Today her daughter is living a purpose driven life, She was First Lady of the Unites States of America and could become the first female President of the United States of America. You have never heard of her infidelity even though we have heard all about her husband’s.
We should all follow her lead and leave our cheating spouses to God, we should concern ourselves only with self. Being the best we can be and we will get our crown here on earth as well as our heavenly crown in the next life.

Myrna is the Host of the “Mindset Transformation radio show” on

https://www.wdjyfm.com/#!on-air/cee5 every Wednesday from 5:00 pm to 6:00 pm

If you would like to be a guest or become a sponsor contact her at info@myhelps.us.

Listen to past broadcasts of the “Mindset Transformations radio show” on the Myhelps Youtube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8p2lfxF2GhOihRv8N3EZeA

Subscribe to the Transform your Mind podcast on iTunes 

Additional Resources:

https://blog.myhelps.us/surviving-r-kelly-mindset-sexual-predator/

How to Get and How to Keep a Man