Using The Inner Game To Become The Richest Real Estate Agent

July 4, 2022July 4, 2022

Using The Inner Game To Become The Richest Real Estate Agent

Ben Oosterveld become the richest real estate agent

Ben Oosterveld became a, real estate agent, and a coach and said I would literally show the agents how to do sales using their, inner game. I convinced 12, real estate agents, to coach with me, and I said, I’m gonna really kill this. I’m going to destroy it. It’s not going to be hard. I know how to do it, but I’m going to do it alongside you.

And it was the weirdest coaching program ever. I said only one group of people are ever going to see this and I became Rookie of the Year. My first year I did over 80 transactions. But I but I also hired an assistant within my first three weeks, because I was businessman.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10894290-using-the-inner-game-to-become-the-richest-real-estate-agent.mp3?download=true

Bio

Ben Oosterveld, didn’t have an easy start. He lived on the streets from the age of 14, survived a failed suicide attempt at age 15, and later spent 365 days in rehab. Ben’s, inner game, needed work. He was a pure-bred, people pleaser, manipulative & controlling man who always compared himself to others to the point of constant self-sabotage.

Ben has since coached entrepreneurs and national companies. Previously, he built a real estate investment company that held 61 properties with investors in 4 different cities. After getting his real estate license, he built a multimillion-dollar real estate business with an award winning top national team in 3 years.

Today, Ben helps business owners and, real estate agents, get clear about who they really are and what they really want. He helps them make the right changes in their business and life with the new goal of building a life they love. His focus is on coaching, speaking, and running personal growth retreats. Ben loves business but his real obsession is helping people break free of the old patterns that hold them back in life. The, inner game, is everything to him and he is on a mission to find his tribe, one extraordinary person at a time.

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How Ben found his inner game

Myrna; : Can you share your backstory, why you were suicidal and bridge the gap for us and how you went from there to here?

Ben: Sure, I grew up in a tough childhood. I had good parents, but my dad was not in a place to be a parent. He has his own backstory that shaped him. And yeah, just I started running away from home when I was 12 and lived on the streets. I was a very industrious kid, but still and I would find places to sleep and just honestly just got into drugs. Alcohol found a place of acceptance. I never felt accepted.

I got really good at doing drugs as a young kid, every day just getting go. I ended up trying to commit suicide and committed in a psychiatric ward. I broke out of the psychiatric ward as a kid and that was on the news. My parents told me the news it was a pretty crazy story. But there’s lots of stories within all these stories, but I went to a place called Teen Challenge. I went to 365-day rehab center, my plan was I was gonna give this one last try. And I went and that helped me. It helped me a lot.

And then I went into the world. I got into sales. I got into selling. My dad was a salesman, so it’s just ironic that I got into sales. I desperately wanted his approval and his love thinking that was the missing hole in my life, thinking that was the actual hole that I needed to fill was based around my father relationship. But it was a relationship with myself. I didn’t realize that till later. And I figured, you know, we got to work on this relationship with my dad and, and he was really interested in to me when I was doing things that he was interested in.

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The performance mentality to crush real estate sales

I built the, performance mentality. You know, people pleasing, mentality where I felt loved when I worked hard, so became a workaholic. My dad was a salesman and a financial planner. I became a, salesman. But I’d be not just a, salesman, I became number one, salesman. I had this weird drive that but if I wasn’t number one, I was nothing. I had this huge gap happiness was always based on my performance, and what other people would say about me. I knew I could control what other people say if I just become number one.

I became a, real estate investor, and the first year or so I bought 41 properties and ended up building a, real estate investment, company. I ended up coaching, real estate agents. We changed the investment company when the crash happened. That was a pretty huge hit in my psychology, because I was always winning, and I didn’t know what it was like to not win. I cried at my desk. I went through a lot then I hired a, life coach. And I hired someone I thought he was a, business coach.

His name was Mr. McKernan and I worked with him for eight years. And he was the first guy to challenge me. I was a very strong, strong person. I could tell myself stories and I could convince you and me of these stories. And a lot of times we just got to identify some self-awareness around these people that are going on with their stories. I’ve really niched out in, real estate, to help the, real estate industry and, real estate agents.

Becoming an inner game coach

I actually became a, real estate agent, and a coach and I would literally show the agents how to do sales. So, I convinced 12, real estate agents, to coach with me, and I said, I’m gonna really kill this. I’m going to destroy it. It’s not going to be hard. I know how to do it, but I’m going to do it alongside you. And it was the weirdest coaching program ever. I said only one group of people are ever going to see this and I became Rookie of the Year. My first year I did over 80 transactions. But I but I also hired an assistant within my first three weeks, because I was businessman.

Why would you buy a restaurant and try to cook and serve all at the same time? Real estate agents, all over the country are doing everything themselves. And I realize it’s the thinking that’s the problem. They think they can keep selling and selling, but they forget that you could build a, referral base, every single year bigger and bigger and eventually if you did 1000 deals in your lifetime and you have a 10% referral rate, you’d have 100 sales every single year without even spending $1 in marketing. So, no one’s playing the long game. I coach now helping, real estate agents, put in the right systems in place, so they can buy back their time because a business is if you’re a, salesman, you got to grind it out.

But if you’re a business owner, what you’re doing is designing your company to serve the life that you want. The question is what else do you want? And that’s where I’m a blackbelt, because I can help people uncover what they want. Now we create that then we say how much does that cost? Cool. So, you only need 200 grand a year to have the life you want when you thought you needed a million.

People pleasing and the inner game

So, we do a lot of work regarding the, inner game, and figuring out what they want. Most people don’t know. My journey has been this weird, obsessed with human behavior and psychology because I was broken and I hated myself. So, I just was I tried to fix myself along the way and then the, inner game, really changed me.

It’s been many, many lessons. We could talk for long. I’m sure we could share stories. The thing is, though, the biggest one. The biggest one happened the last, say three years for me. I’ve done well. I’ve done been doing this for years now. But the thing is, I got to a place where I would see something in my life and I want to fix it. I want to fix, people pleasing, manipulative, anger, whatever you can choose, anxiety, and I looked at it and I say I don’t want that in me.

So now I’m going to use my skill of attacking and my builder skill, which is like, let’s figure out how to get it down. I would study and try to attack these ailments that I had that I didn’t like. But the more I fixed them, I find more, fix more and find more, that’s when I realized I knew I know a lot of knowledge and I can help a lot of people. But I realized I was digging myself into a hole of unsatisfied anxiety, depression, hatred, through the, Personal Growth Movement. Because I just found that I was still broken.

Then I would go into judgment and say I should feel better. I’m doing all these, personal growth tools, and affirmations and all this stuff. But it was judgment because I didn’t feel better. I felt like I could get through stuff, but I had five more things in me that needed to be fixed. So that fixer in the builder just led me to more fixing and builder and what I realized is self-acceptance is enlightenment.

Why hiring an assistant is setting realtors up for success

Myrna: Yeah, you got so many nuggets in there. I got to remember which ones I want to circle back to. Okay. All right. Let me take let me let me test my memory here. So, the first thing I want to circle back on was and you hired an assistant right away. A lot of, real estate agents, wouldn’t understand that because we know in, real estate, you don’t make enough money to hire and assistant when you just get started. I interviewed a guy a couple months ago on the on the show and he became a top, commercial Realtor, in in San Francisco. And he was talking that for the first two years he didn’t get a paycheck because of course he was working on big deals.

We know as, Realtors, when you come in, you don’t always get the 10 deals a month. You get a little bit of money. And you’re not thinking of hiring someone. You said you went in and immediately hired someone because you understood sales.

Ben: I hired an assistant because I was planning to be successful. Are you planning to fail?

Myrna: Yeah, exactly. That’s a good tagline. You know, don’t plan to fail, you know, set your business up for success.

Ben: I’m dealing with hiring an assistant, it’s my secret way to get to find out where you psychologically create emotional friction. So, watch this. Hey, why don’t you hire an assistant? Well, I don’t have money or time. I don’t know what to do. Hold on. That’s all emotional friction. Let me change your thinking for some of the people on the show right now that have a business or anything. I’ll just do it really quickly.

Can you afford $20 a week? Of course, you can. So, what we need to do is not go to the black belt hire, I gotta get you to hire well white belt, because I need you to get a psychological win. I want for you to become a CEO or a boss. The learning curve is way too high. But if I can get someone to manage your birthday system to make sure that you send a birthday card to every single client, I call that project hiring. You can practice being a boss and the cost is 20 bucks, one hour a week. It’s the only mindset first, real estate coaching, in the world. It’s called the Richest Real Estate Agent Facebook group.

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Definition of the inner game

Myrna: Okay, I love that. I will definitely join that. But you know in my defense, I focus a lot on my time on my podcast. Explain what you mean by the, inner game?

Ben: The, inner game, it’s the relationship with yourself. When you wake up in the morning, how do you feel? It’s your, emotional intelligence. Let’s talk about, people pleasers. If you’re a, people pleaser, you are extremely selfish person. I can speak about it because I got the medal of honor. And so, here’s the thing, let’s play this game with the readers and even ourselves. If someone says something like this, “You let me down.” If you can really take a second, close your eyes and think about how that would make you feel with someone that mattered. People pleasers, only please the people that matter.

Myrna: I would feel pretty bad. I would feel that I let you down and since I’m a caring person, that would bother me.

Ben: Correct, you have this internal energy this chaos that says, I don’t like this feeling that I get when someone lets me down. By the way I can manipulate anybody with that right now. All I got to do is say you let me down and I can pull the strings on people, that’s manipulation. So, if you just be very careful, miss everyone wants to be an independent man, independent woman. Great. So, if you’re a, people pleaser, super easy to control. FYI. That’s how you give your power away. Second thing is this, if you are people pleasing, you act as if it’s about the other person. And it’s such a lie, because all I want is that feeling to go away.

So, I got to make sure you’re not upset with me. That has nothing to do with the, is all about making sure I don’t feel those emotions. Because it makes me feel bad. So, who are you really pleasing? Yourself. How do you like when someone says I’m doing something for you, but they’re not using you so really, as a, people pleaser, you use people. No wonder there’s no real deep connection.

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Language and personality types

Myrna: That’s true. That’s a different way of looking at it. That’s a different spin. Tell us about the 16 Psychological languages.

Ben: we’re born with 16 personality types and we all are the same human. There are 16 through the study of 100 years of psychology, there’s 16 combinations of personality. So, when we say that’s just my personality, you’re all personalities you just haven’t visited say the organizing person, you’re more of a winged person or you’re more of a detailed person, you’re more of this, so forth. So, this is years and years of studying humans is understanding myself as being my obsession, and now I understand the people and I’ll give you an example.

Let’s just do a practical example on a language understanding human language. So, let’s say that, you’re a real estate agent, and you go into a house, let’s say I’m brand-new, real estate agent. I sit down and the client askes me, so how long you’ve been in the business, I’m thinking who says that? What if I’m brand new, you know? I’m gonna feel terrible.

And so here’s the thing. I look at a guy like that. And so, speaking his language, he has the balls to hit me with a bat. That is a test on my credibility. Okay, we have to understand that we can stop being so self-centered, and observe how people talk to us. Here’s the trick. Here’s some tactical training. The guy says, how long you been in the business? You have to hit him with a sarcastic hit and you got to be direct, or you’ll lose the guy’s credibility. That’s understanding his language.

So, I would say, you know what? I’ve only been in the business under a year. And I might not be your, real estate agent. Then I’d say to him, I’d say, but I do know someone 40 years in the business, her name’s Betty. She has a walker. If that’s how you’re going to choose, let me give you her your number right now. And then guess what he says, I like this guy. I want to hire him. Because sarcasm is the language of the logical, but then later, they become loyal.

Using language to build connection and rapport

Myrna: So you’re really pretty confident to do that. That’s pretty good.

Ben: In my course I teach the psychology of all the languages and when someone teaches sales training, I think it’s manipulative. What I do is it’s like, I look at human connection.

So there’s building connection and rapport through tactics or authenticity, and then one is rich, but people pleasing one is real. Like if I really understand you, I’ll probably find out what makes you tick. What’s your nostalgic value? That’s what I think of when I meet a client. So, this isn’t this isn’t mirroring, its building rapport. This is truly at a psychological level, making a connection.

Myrna: Tell us about your podcast is called the, Inner Game.

Ben: I am no longer doing the, Inner Game, Podcast. We’re all in on bringing mindset and personal growth and business mindset versus worker mindset to, real estate. And so, I’m focused 100% of that in my podcast is called “The, Richest Real Estate Agent. The other thing is I have a book coming out called the real “The richest real estate agent: how to build a seven-figure business without sacrificing your relationships.” It’s the first mindset book for, real estate agents, with full tactical training. Never ever has this been combined. We’re going to be going after the, inner game, for, real estate agents, and that’s our focus.

Conclusion

And so that’s the book, the podcast and our group on Facebook is all The, Richest Real Estate Agent. I also run, personal growth, retreats that I do that once a year for people that want to bring up their teams or whatever, and I take them on a three-day kind of off grid or adventure retreats. And that’s three days I can’t even compare to the effectiveness of what three days away on one of my retreats does for the for the head and the heart. All these information can be found on my website www.benoosterveld.com

Additional Resources

How to Create a Freedom Lifestyle with Investment Property

July 1, 2022

Kevin Samuels: Black Women Over 35 Are Low Value

The late, Kevin Samuels, controversially said that, Black women, over 35 cannot get a man because any, high value man, could get a younger woman.

The gist of his message was that women over 35 who are single with children are like used cars. Top quality men don’t want them since they they are, low value, and the, high value man, have options and they exercise these options for younger women with no children and baby daddy drama.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10885010-are-women-over-35-low-value.mp3?download=true

The 35 and Single Black Women Dilemma

So here in lies the dilemma. Even though women were calling, Kevin Samuels, a scum bag, he had a huge following of men because they knew he was talking truth. These so called, high value men, were willing to rip into a man of God Dr. Jamal Bryant, senior pastor at New Birth in Atlanta, in defense of, Kevin Samuels.

It is true that, black women, over 35 are looking for the, high value man, and men over 35 are looking for younger women? How do we know this is true? The reason I know this is true is because everyone is looking and nobody is finding love, because love is not about hair, booty, breasts or skin color. Love is about chemistry, it is an energy.

So, ladies my, dating advice, to you is you must age like fine wine, you have much more to offer a man and you need to let him see this. You have experience.

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Dating Advice for Black Women

Remember that relationship you walked out of in your 20ths, now you realize that it was the best relationship you ever had. There is a lesson in every failure.

So now that you are 35+ and single; what have you learned about men? What I have learned is that the, high value man, would sleep with the 35+, black woman, with the good hair and the booty, but they look for more in the woman they marry.

So, while you are sitting on the shelf, make yourself ready for your husband. You have to become, wife material.

6 ways to become wife material

Learn to speak on a variety of topics, men are no longer attracted to the dumb pretty woman anymore.
Learn the rules of basketball and football. Most men like sports so, you must learn to like them as well, so he doesn’t have to go out with the boys to watch the game. He could watch it with his woman.
Learn to cook dinner for two. A man wants to marry a woman who can cook.
Get a gym membership, men like to hold muscles not fat.
Learn to control your tongue, sometimes silence is the best answer.
Learn to build up a man and not tear him down. Life and death are in the tongue, speak life into your man. Encourage him, listen to him, support him.

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Kevin Samuels YouTube Videos

I listened to, Kevin Samuels, most famous video. This video had 3M views and over 3K comments when I watched it months ago! Kevin Samuels, was speaking to a woman who was 35 had a 13-year-old son and was making 6 figures. She said she wanted a, high value man, who made 6 figures because when she dates men below her pay grade, she gets idiots.

Kevin Samuels, asked her from a scale of 1 to 10 where would she fall and she said 6. He then told her that, high value men, who make 6 figures are in the top 10% of all men and have options. They are not looking for an average, black woman, 35+ with a 13-year-old son.

He is correct, they are not looking for you, but if you age like fine wine and prepare yourself while you’re fermenting, they will take a sip of you and become intoxicated.

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Black women prepare yourself to become a high value woman

The other thing I have learned is it may have been a long time since you have been held by a man and you can’t wait to jump into bed; don’t do it. A man must respect the woman he marries. Don’t sleep with him until he calls you his girlfriend and you are sure he is not married!

There is a dilemma for, black women, over 35 who are single with children, but finding love is not impossible. I got married at 46 with a 16-year-old daughter. The chemistry was right and I was prepared. So don’t let anyone tell you, you have no value and that you are like a used car. Antiques cars are more valuable than new cars. You have wisdom, skills, and know how to treat and keep a man.

Conclusion

Hope this helps someone.

You have been listening to 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach, for inspiration throughout the week. Until next time Namaste

June 26, 2022

Money Mindset: Removing Your Financial Baggage

In this 21 Day, money mindset, Challenge we help people identify all of the, money beliefs, getting in their way and then shift them into different, beliefs, that are supportive of building wealth and abundance and joy with, money. And then beyond that, to building the structures that really lead towards financial success.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10849904-money-mindset-removing-your-financial-baggage.mp3?download=true

Bio

A gang of armed men broke into Chana Mason’s childhood home in Bogota, Colombia, And held her family hostage. Her family miraculously fled to Miami, but 5-years-old Chana’s sense of safety was decimated. Two decades later, Chana still dealt with PTSD, anxiety, and depression. To heal herself, she dove into a journey to rediscover her peace and joy. She’s learned from the world’s top experts on the human mind and uses her gift for turning complex ideas into easy-to-access tools for transformation.

Through her straight talk, open heart, and addictive joy, Chana helps thousands clarify their vision, shift beliefs getting in their way, and manifest their dreams. Chana lives with her family in the funky Nachlaot neighborhood of Jerusalem and works with individuals and communities around the world.

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Byron Katie’s book The Work as the foundation for shifting mindset

I love Byron Katie’s book, “The Work” I follow her work so, and I started doing some of those exercises or tools. So, I know what you’re talking about in your book “Hold That Thought”. From your bio, you said that because you had, PTSD, so you started to, to train with a top world expert. So can you bridge the gap for us, how your, childhood trauma, turned into you becoming a coach and a teacher and how you used Byron Katie’s book, “The Work” as the foundation of one of your tools.

Chana: I was constantly in search of things that would help me stop having, anxiety and depression, and one of the things that I experienced which I kind of thought I was the only person in the world who had this because we have a tendency to be very lonely in our suffering and not talk about it.

I would have the worst, anxiety images, I would picture the most horrific things happening all the time. In my mind, I tend to picture things rather than have words as much. And so, as I walk off a bus, I pictured myself tripping off the bus and getting run over or I trip on the sidewalk and I would imagine my head bashing the sidewalk and blood and guts everywhere.

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Our thoughts are malleable

Those types of images were flooding my mind all the time, in addition because of the kidnap threat when I was a kid, I was constantly being scared of people on the street thinking I was gonna get kidnapped or thinking I was gonna get raped. All of that stuff, didn’t respond at all to therapy. So, for years, I tried going to different therapists. Eventually I started learning about the concept that our thoughts are within our control and, thoughts, are malleable, but I didn’t really have clear tools for how to shift those, thoughts, and I kept getting stuck.

Eventually, I found some really phenomenal coaches and healers; but there was something about Byron Katie’s material that just really struck a chord. I was introduced to “The Works” as a process for inquiry. So, The Works, and the option process and other tools for inquiry also. Their goal is to help you ask questions. When you’re facilitating someone else, you ask them questions that help the subconscious to bring up all of the answers and all of the beliefs and all of the rationale that we’ve been using to drive our behavior. Sometimes just seeing it on the surface makes us look at it and be like wait, that doesn’t make any sense.

You know, so for example, a lot of people think that the best way to lose weight is believing that they should lose weight. My experience is that the belief that I should lose weight makes people want to eat more and exercise less. And so as soon as they see how they react to that belief, they realize, wait, this belief isn’t working for me, even though I thought it would help me get to where I want to go.

Eventually, I wanted to help people to this theory clearly a journal work. So just came out with a new book, which I didn’t even get to tell you about because it just came out. It’s called “Inner Voices.”

Also, in “Hold That Thought” people get a free taste of “Inner Voices” at the end of the book.

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Using the Works to change your beliefs

Myrna: When I was reading “The Works” I used the inquiry for my, beliefs, regarding my husband. Married people have conflict over certain different things so this was helpful for me. I loved the inquiry, is that true? How do you know that’s true? So, how did you use that book specifically to get rid of your, anxiety images?

Chana: So for me, the purpose of inquiry is to question our thinking. For some people thinking manifests as words. And for other people it manifests as pictures. But what’s cool about a picture is that it’s not just one belief. Usually a picture, is a container for lots and lots of, beliefs. So, if you’re picturing yourself, God forbid, driving off the road, there’s a lot of, beliefs, in there.

Not safe when I’m driving.
The world is not a safe place.
I can’t trust myself on the road.
I can’t trust other drivers on the road.
I’m going to die.
I’m going to die in a painful way.
I’m going to die right now.

Asking is it true to shift your mindset

Think about how many things come up. And so, if you can just sit and think about what are the, beliefs, that are embedded in these, anxiety images? I want for your audience to really understand what inquiry is so I can give you a simple example. There was one time that I was in Heathrow Airport, sort of transitioning via London to the United States from Israel. And Heathrow Airport is huge, it’s like a mall, and there’s a point when you walk through it, it’s like walking through the perfume section of a mall. And I saw this huge poster image advertisement of a scantily clad model standing next to a bottle of perfume.

The only thing at the bottom of what brands it was the brand of the perfume, but there were no words on this marketing. This was a big poster. And yet when I looked at it, I noticed that my stomach started to turn. So, for me, the thing that drives me to question my thinking is my emotional state. And my emotional state is a combination of just straight up emotions like anger or sadness, and physiological experiences because we feel emotions inside of our bodies. So, for me, my stomach started to turn and I started to feel a little bit sad and worthless. And so immediately I knew there’s something happening in me from this poster. This poster was telling a story, and that story wasn’t feeling good.

I immediately knew to ask myself the question, Is this true? And as soon as I answered this is not true, my stomach was no longer in knots. I was able to shift my, mindset.

Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

Shifting your limiting beliefs

Myrna: So how do you help clients shift their, limiting beliefs, and manifest their dreams? We know that we can use the tools that we’ve been talking about to question how we’re feeling, question our, belief system, and so on, but how could we use it for you to shift your, limiting beliefs, and manifest your dreams?

Chana: One of the things I do as a coach is I help people clarify a vision for what it is they want to do with their lives. You know, they may want to build a business, want to increase their sales in real estate. I have a number of realtors that I work with. They may want to lose weight, it really just depends.

Everybody’s a little bit different. But particularly for my business clients, actually, it’s true even for somebody wanting to lose weight. What tends to happen is that they have a vision. There’s something they want, they know it’s a clear manifestation of their life’s purpose, and would give them a tremendous amount of meaning.

Yet, they can’t seem to get themselves to do it. They keep bumping into all sorts of obstacles along the way. And for that, I created a tool I called the, obstacle course. So, this is where I tend to use the tools of inquiry that I’ve gotten from others and create tools that help people. Let’s say that you want to be 20 pounds lighter. So, I have a client who’s in that situation right now. She wants to be 20 pounds lighter.

Using the obstacle course to change mindset

Myrna: Well, in your book I thought it was interesting this guy, I think he was a Potter or something and he was saying that he could never be successful as a Potter and you used the, obstacle course, to help him shift his, mindset, and remove his, financial baggage.

Chana: So that’s a perfect sample. He had this vision of living out in the country and not living in the city and being professionally a Potter and actually making a living as a Potter. Being able to sustain a family that way. But it seemed so pie in the sky and impossible in his eyes. So, I asked him to do this, obstacle course. What are all the reasons why it’s impossible? And for most of us who are visual, it really helps to actually see these, obstacles and remove our, financial baggage.

Everyone comes up with different things, I asked them to envision this dream they have as being someone in the distance in front of them like let’s say it’s right here. Then I asked them between here and the vision they have, what do they see? And one client said they see shards of glass and other person says they see clouds and other person says the image itself is a black and white, they don’t see any color, all sorts of things like that, right?

So, for this guy, the obstacles between himself and the vision is the opportunity to speak. I said, okay, what are the shards of glass or what are the clouds have to say? And he said, It’s impossible. I can’t do it. I couldn’t possibly make enough money to support a family, you know, all these different, beliefs. And he listed about 13 obstacles along with their, financial baggage. Then we have to do the inquiry and ask him “Is this true” and then get him to do a, turnaround to shift his, mindset, and unload his, financial baggage.

Using turnarounds to shift your mindset

It’s a lot. What’s really cool is that for most of us the, beliefs, that are driving our lives and driving our behavior, are resting in the, subconscious mind. We’re just not aware that they’re there. And all we have to do is ask a question, like, what are those, obstacles, have to say or what am I believing right now? This making me feel this way? And it’s just amazing. Our, subconscious mind, loves to follow orders. If we ask good questions, we get good answers.

So, if I ask, what am I believing right now the, subconscious mind, is like oh, you want to know your, beliefs. Here they are. They were all sitting under this consciousness, so we talked about money, for example, for most people, what keeps them from manifesting wealth and abundance? They have all of these, money beliefs, and for almost all of us our, money beliefs, are very deeply hidden in the, subconscious mind.

For two reasons. One is we got our, money beliefs, early from our family when we were kids. And the other is, money, is taboo. So, we have, money beliefs, but we don’t know what they are. It’s like for people for whom your body is taboo.

If God forbid, they ever get abused, well, if you don’t know you have a penis. How do you tell someone that it got touched? So, in the same way, if you’re not allowed to talk about, money, and, money, is this taboo thing? When things aren’t going well with, money, you don’t even have the language to talk about debt or stress or credit cards or building wealth or investments.

If you don’t even have the language, you don’t have the vocabulary for that. So, for this guy, once he was able to identify thoughts, then we could use all of the tools from inquiry from the auction process to, neuro linguistic programming, to The Works, to be able to address what he was doing.

Your money mindset and your parents

Myrna: He must have thought that the only way that you can be successful is if maybe you’re an accountant or professional or maybe his parents told him that a Potter is not a real job. I know about the, money mindset, because we grew up poor. You have a, money mindset, when you hear your parents or grandparents, say things like “money don’t grow on trees” or, “money is the root of all evil.”

So, you’ve got it on both ends. So that’s basically your, belief system. That is a great segue into what we want to talk about today, removing your financial baggage. Tell us about your 21 day, money mindset, challenge.

Chana: Yeah, I actually really want to focus on this thing of money doesn’t grow on trees, because we have this 21 Day Challenge that helps people identify all of the, money beliefs, getting in their way and then shift them into different, beliefs, that are supportive of building wealth and abundance and joy with, money. And then beyond that, to building the structures that really lead towards financial success.

The money mindset 21 day challenge

And one of the things that my husband and I decided to do in the, money mindset, challenge is that every single day, every single lesson has a story because we find that stories how we learn and particularly with, beliefs, stories are how we created our, beliefs. You know, your five-year-old Myrna is looking around and she’s seeing how people are behaving right. She’s living a story, and then she comes up with a whole collection of conclusions about what’s true about the world. And some of those conclusions literally came out of people’s mouths, but not always.

For example, two people could get divorced and a kid says, oh, my daddy doesn’t love me. That’s why he left. Even though Daddy never said that. There’s no indication of that. Right? And it’s probably the opposite of why it’s true. Because Daddy loved the kid, he stayed longer than maybe he would have otherwise. There’s just such a different collection of stories that kids can create. So, one of the stories that I use repeatedly with students to help them shift is to actually see that money does quite specifically grow on trees.

Myrna: I think ask you those questions. Is that true? What are the other questions? Do you go through in “The Works? Is that how you do them to shift their, mindset?

Chana: So, so there are a few questions that I ask. So, let’s say you’re believing. I’m not talented enough to start my own business. Okay, so you and I deal with people who believe that all the time I’m not trying to start my own business. So, one stream of questions could be doing “The Work of Byron Katie”,

Is it true?
Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
How do you react when you believe that thought? You see what that thought does to you emotionally, physiologically, behaviorally, you notice that if I believe I’m not talented enough to start my own business, my body shrinks. I get really tight.

Your beliefs determine your success

Personally, for me I want to crawl under the covers and hide. I’m much less social and under those circumstances, I literally can’t start my own business. I can’t do anything even remotely creative or audacious, well, unbelieving, that thought. So, the thought actually creates that reality. And isn’t that convenient, right? One of the things that I can ask myself was also, is how do I benefit from believing that thought?

One benefit I get is that I can sit on the couch and drink beer and watch movies. It’s like, because I’m not talented enough, which is beyond my control, right? It’s not like oh, I’m going to work on my talent.

So, me as an author, my husband is also an author. We read books about writing books, and we take courses from authors and these work on our craft. We didn’t used to be talented enough to write great books, but we are now working really hard, and hopefully it will be a lot better a decade from now. But to say I’m not talented enough to start my own business is sort of saying like, it’s like a flatline and it means I don’t even have to try. It’s much more convenient to sit on the couch and eat ice cream.

Using Turnarounds to shift your money mindset

The key part of Byron Katie’s process is doing what she calls, turnarounds, where you take the original statement, and you say it’s opposite. So, you say “I am talented enough to start my own business.” I’m talented enough to learn. I’m talented enough to ask questions. I’m talented enough to seek mentors. I’m talented enough at the one thing I know how to do, and I could outsource other pieces that I don’t know how to do, where I’m not particularly talented.

So those would be me giving reasons why this new perspective is true. And every time I give a reason why the new perspective is true. I’m literally rewiring my brain into a different perspective and detaching from the old perspective. And the more I do that, the more I train my mind to question everything. And so, there’s something really powerful about questioning absolutely every single thing you see. So, so in our, money mindset, challenge, we teach a number of different tools to help people shift their, beliefs.

One of the tools we teach is “The Works.” We teach a bunch of other tools. Another one of them is simply choosing to disentangle two concepts that you’ve glued together. For example, often when we’re working with someone in financial coaching I will ask, please complete the following sentence. Rich people are ……… And often people will say things like greedy, selfish, slimy, evil, you know, out to get us, etc.

Myrna: Yes, they hear their parents saying those things.

Shifting your mindset on your beliefs

Chana: Right, they have all of these different, beliefs. And what’s really cool is you have a few options of what you can do with let’s say, rich people are evil. Okay. You can ask yourself, are there times that you’ve met rich people who are good or generous?

Then list examples of wealthy people you know, who are particularly generous, and every single time all of a sudden the person is like, oh, yeah, you know, there’s this guy in my community, and he’s always taking care of everyone. And whenever anybody is in need, they can just go to him and he’ll get some cash very quietly, secretly under the table.

And oh, yeah. And you know, my church wouldn’t stand if it wasn’t for these two women who are really rocking entrepreneurs, and they just they support the entire church and they do it so quietly, and oh, yeah, you know that big philanthropist, he’s just giving money away all the time.

If they say poor people are good, so you can ask them have you ever met a poor person who’s evil and you’re like, oh, yeah, you know, there’s this guy and it’s like, okay, well, let’s look at the vast majority of people who get arrested for theft, are they are rich people are people? The only thing you know for sure is that they’re rich. And they are people, right?

Myrna; Right, Rich people are rich, no extra labels!

Why do you believe what you do?

Chana: Another really cool thing that comes from the auction process is a question I really like. It’s why do you believe that?

Myrna: I’m sure a lot of people that can’t answer that.

Chana: It’s shocking how much the, subconscious mind, will give you an answer to these questions. We teach you other tools on how to take those thoughts and turn them into thoughts that support you. And then and then in the third week, we teach you financial principles and, and understandings of how, money, works so that you can really start moving more towards a positive supportive, money mindset.

Myrna: How can listeners connected with you and learn more about your 21 day challenge and, plus get a copy of your book?

Chana: My personal website is www.chanamason.com you can access my books @ Chanamason.com/books. Most of the books, are available as free downloads. I wrote a book together with my husband called “The Cash Machine.” It’s all about how to develop financial independence, but it’s a novel. It’s a love story. It’s like a really fun page turner. And we have another book about how to manifest your dreams called “The Size of Your Dreams,” which is also a novel, but also, personal growth, tools. And “Hold That Thought” that you mentioned and “In Our Voices,” are my 2 newest books. So people can go to that page and access any of those books and our, money challenge, they can access on My Courses page on my website, or they can go to www.moneymindsetmadness.com

Additional Resources

How to Create Positive Core Beliefs

June 24, 2022June 24, 2022

How To Use Feelings To Manifest Your Dreams

The, secret of feeling, or calling of the invisible realm into the visible and feeling realm is beautifully told in the Bible story of, Isaac, blessing his second son, Jacob, by the belief, based solely upon, feelings, that he was blessing his first son, Esau.

One of the reasons all the wealth coaches tell you to first visualize how much money you want and then use your, feelings, to visualize it in your hand is because, emotions, and, feelings, are the invisible forces that creates.

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Bible story of Esau and Jacob

It is told that, Isaac, who was old and blind, felt that he was about to leave this world and wishing to bless his first-born son, Esau, before he died, sent, Esau, hunting for savory venison with the promise that upon his return from the hunt he would receive his father’s blessing.

Jacob’s mother Rebekah overheard the father promise to bless, Esau, and since, Jacob, was her favorite, she encouraged him to deceive his father and get the, first-born, blessing.

She sent, Jacob, to the flock to get a couple of young goats and prepared Isaac’s favorite meal. Then she wrapped Jacob’s arms and neck with the skin from the goats so, Jacob, would feel like his brother, Esau.

Jacob deceives Isaac with feeling

When, Jacob, went in to see his father pretending to be his brother his father said you don’t sound like, Esau, come closer so I can feel you. Isaac, felt the hairy skin and through these, feelings, was convinced he was speaking to, Esau, and proceeded to give his, first-born, blessing.

He blessed him with an abundance of grain and wine which represents the later promise of a land flowing with, milk and honey. He blessed him with being the master over his brothers and having them bow down to him which represents the later blessing of being the head and not the tail the lender and not the borrower.

Finally, he blessed him that all who cursed him would be cursed and all who blessed him would be blessed, that took care of all his enemies both seen and unseen forever.

Feelings, consciousness and desire

The, secret of feeling, is that whatever you desire you must use your, feelings, before it manifests. Isaac, the blind father, is your consciousness; your awareness of being.

Esau, the hairy son, is your objectified world, the, present moment, your present environment, the world you know from your, senses.

Jacob, represents your desire or subjective state. An idea not yet embodied; in short your defined objective.

What’s the science? Subjective feelings, are central to everyday human life from forgetfulness to, feeling, ill or having a good day with a friend. Subjective feelings, is the current subjective phenomenological state of an individual.

The secret to feeling your way to your defined objective:

To use, feelings, to manifest your desires, first send your, problem, hunting. That means to take your attention off the problem.
Second – With your eyes closed and your attention removed from your present circumstances fix your mind on your, desire. Begin to access your, feelings, on what you want to manifest. Feel that the very place you are is the place desired; feel and sense the reality of it until you are consciously impressed with this fact.
Thirdly – in your, imagination, see the thing desired. If you cannot visualize it, use your, feelings, to sense the general outline of it; contemplate it. Then mentally draw it close to you, Isaac, said “Come close my son that I may feel you” feel the nearness of it, feel it to be in your immediate presence, feel the reality and solidity of it, feel it and see it placed in the room which you are seated, feel the thrill of actual accomplishment, and the joy of possession.

Conclusion

This is how you use, feelings, to manifest your, dreams, and, desires, and walk in your blessings of abundance.

This is coach Myrna Young and you are listening to 5 mins with coach Myrna

Additional Resources

The Law of Attraction: How Vibrational Energy Works

June 20, 2022

Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide

In the silence of the, mind, the conscience, can hear the voice coming from the, superconscious, portion of the mind and can that reflect that wisdom into our, conscious mind, to be our guide. This is the action that will lead you to your highest and greatest good.

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Bio

LEONARD PERLMUTTER. Leonard is the founder and director of The American Meditation Institute in Averill Park, New York, and the originator of National Conscience Month. He studied under Swami Rama of the Himalayas whose lab studies at the Menninger Institute demonstrated that blood pressure, heart rate and the autonomic nervous system can be voluntarily controlled. These findings have become a cornerstone of the modern mind/body movement.

His recently released book YOUR CONSCIENCE: The Key to Unlock Limitless Wisdom and Creativity and Solve All of Life’s Challenges is a simple, logical introduction to how your mind works and the perfect entry point for anyone who wants to live a more fulfilling life simply by learning to depend on their conscience.

Looking outside ourselves for happiness is a useless pursuit, but where can we find the wisdom, we need to guide us through the trials in our lives? Leonard believes that we can receive all the guidance we need by trusting our, conscience.

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Developing your conscience during childhood

Myrna: How did you develop your, conscience? Can you share your personal story?

Leonard: My personal story, I guess, began when I was quite young, a little child. And it seemed that two principles guided my life at that time and true today. The first principle was always looked at life from a philosophical viewpoint. It’s just the way I saw the world immediately, philosophically. And the second principle that has directed me in practicality. I’m a practical fellow. Okay, and even a philosophy of life. Must have practical applications make life rewarding, and to take away the pain and the misery and the bondage, that are seen in the mists time in our world, the pandemic of its own.

Myrna: Okay, all right. Yeah. Were your problems solved by relying on your, conscience?

Leonard: There’s not one, problem, that cannot be solved by our, conscience. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, there are no problems. There are only situations. So, for me, even the word problem is a problem. Now, because language trigger us. Language can trigger us and they carry a heavy weight from the culture.

Change the word problem to situation

So, if we bring the word, problem, into our heart, and just feel the weight of it, I have a problem Oh, it’s very heavy. It’s very dark, and it seems to cover a creative capacity, and become intimidated. I become fearful and I worry, which even accelerates denigration of my creative capacity. So, I don’t use that word anymore. But I do I substitute a synonym, I say don’t say I have problems, I say I have a situation.

If you bring the word, situation, into your heart and just listen with your eyes, situation, is much lighter. Not that I’m not going to have to work resolving the, situation. But I’m a creative fellow, I’d like to tackle that. So, I’m much more optimistic and creative. I’m always watching words that says you have an emotional choice.

Myrna: I like your word, situation, I’ve learned to change the word, problem, to, challenges, but challenges is also still weightier than, situation.

Leonard: And so, too interesting, because problems, wherever we define that we start in the, mind. What do I mean by that? There’s conflict in our minds. There always has to be conflict outside our, mind. And that will be first and foremost in the body, but then, interpersonal relationships. So, working backwards from the, problem, which is outside of us by have a, problem, with you.

Problem, is now with you. It’s what I think about you. My mind created an eclipse of my awareness and I cannot really see you, I just see what’s in my, unconscious mind. I sift through those lenses. And so maybe I’m intimidated with you. Maybe I understand that you’re a podcast, personality and you have a following and oh my gosh, I’m intimidated by her. So, when I talk to Myrna I’m not really able to have a conversation with her until I deal with the fear then, and the worry that is in my, mind.

Myrna: It’s very true. When you were talking it reminded me of Buddha statement that says suffering is all in the, mind.

Leonard: Well, I believe that suffering is a choice. We all have pain, but suffering is exactly is your choice.

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Conscience one of the four functions of the mind

Myrna: Let’s touch on this word, conscience. Can you just explain how, conscience, and the mind works? You said mental problems or situations can be solved by relying on the, conscience, so let’s dive into this, conscience, so we can put you know some context or conversation.

Four functions of the mind

Leonard: Sure. First and foremost, the conscience is one of the four, functions of the mind. In early childhood, I’m sure that many of us had the experience, I know I did, that there always seemed to be different voices in our, mind. And as it turns out, there are four of them.

There is the ego,
The, senses,
the, unconscious mind,
and the, conscience.

So interesting, this was a game changer for me when I learned it was quite shocking. Every single choice that I have ever made in my life, in fact, any human being has made in their life, and every single choice that we will ever make, has been made the, conscience, because, the conscience, is the only function of the mind, that can make a decision. The other three functions of the mind the, ego, the, senses, and the, unconscious mind, cannot make a choice. They only act as advisors. And as advisors, they work all the time in a very determined way.

So, what does that mean? The, ego, senses and, unconscious mind, these advisors, these lobbyists in our, mind, they’re loud, they’re pushy, and are often wrong. Only the, conscience, has the ability alone to make the choice.

Myrna: How do we how do we get this, conscience? I understand that our, conscience, was put by God to distinguish between right and wrong. Is your, conscience, built up after you’re born?

The Ego, the senses and the unconscious mind

Leonard: The hardware of the, mind, is just like the, senses, and so can make two kinds of choices. The first kind of choice occurs when the, ego, senses, and, unconscious mind, are so unruly as they are with most people today. The, ego, senses, and, unconscious mind, are creating a tremendous amount of noise in our, mind, lobbying for their limited perspectives. Then the only way that the, conscience, can make a choice is simply to rubber stamp, the loudest voice it can hear.

We you know, the ego, the senses, and the, unconscious mind, are not always wrong. You need a, healthy ego, to have this conversation right now and make sense of it or to drive an automobile or a truck. We need a, healthy ego, to keep us alive. And that’s gratification. I love a delicious meal just like everybody else and I have a body so why shouldn’t I?

But a lot of times limited perspective of the, ego, senses, and even the, unconscious mind, create habit patterns that are faulty. And if they’re loud and pushy, the, ego, senses and, unconscious mind, are always worried that a saber-toothed Tiger is going to come around the next corner and that we have to fear for our lives. Then the, conscience, will simply rubber stamp loudest voice.

Myrna: Okay, so we rubber stamp the loudest voice in our, mind. So, the loudest voice is saying hey, you know what? I should feel something right there.

Leonard: Maybe I should have a second piece of apple pie.

Myrna: Exactly. You’re going to say get a second piece of apple pie, right? That’s not so much your, conscience, that’s just guilt, but let’s say that we want to steal something and you steal it and then your, conscience, is bothering you. Because you know you shouldn’t have done it. You know what I mean? So, what you’re saying is that you took it because the, ego, let’s choose that one. That’s really the one that’s telling you that you deserve it or something.

How to listen to your conscience

Leonard: That’s right. However, if we can learn to teach and parent, the ego, senses, and unconscious mind, and share their limited perspectives. Then when each of these three functions of the mind, these advisors after they finish presenting their perspective, sit down and be quiet. When the, mind, becomes quiet, the conscience, can make another kind choice.

Okay, now in this silence of the, mind, the conscience, can hear another voice coming from the, super conscious, portion of the mind. And can that reflect that, superconscious, wisdom into our, conscious mind, and that will tell the, conscience, to advise us. This is the action that will lead you for your highest and greatest good.

Myrna: Right? Well, that’s perfect because somewhere along the line I heard that we have five voices in our head, but I’ve never had anybody actually identify those voices. We just know that we have these voices. One of the things I want to circle back to was what you’re saying about, meditation, because this is where the, meditation, link comes in.

When you sit still and be quiet during, meditation, then you’re connecting to source, you’re connecting to your Higher Self, then you’re able to get instructions from your higher self. But normally I guess when you’re making a decision, a lot of times you right you just rubber stamp the highest noise.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast — Podbean

The superconscious wisdom

Leonard: There’s another ingredient here and this is the need for culture. We are going so fast. Right now, we do not have time to sit quietly right so that the, conscience, can hear the, superconscious, wisdom and share it with us. We have to make a decision now. If it feels good, the advertisements say just do it.

Myrna: I talk a lot about, meditation, on the show. I’m reading the, meditation book, and it’s telling you that when you sit quietly, what basically happens is things starts to bubble up that you have pushed down, and once it bubbles up that means it is something you need to take care of. So now I’m hearing another reason to sit still is so you can, solve problems, because when you sit still your, conscience, gets to talk to you.

Leonard: That one pointed attention, training the mind, to be one pointed either on a mantra or the breath in, meditation, automatically creates a space between stimulus and response. That means that I am cultivating the skill of being detached. What does that mean? Just because a thought comes into my awareness, suggesting the desire for the second slice of apple pie. When I create a space between that stimulus of that snack and piece of apple pie and my ultimate decision, that space provides me what? Freedom to redirect my attention.

The, conscience, can then reflect, superconscious, wisdom tells me how my relationship should proceed with this desire for a second slice of apple pie. In, meditation, that one pointed attention creates a space between stimulus and response that provides me the freedom to check with my, conscience. And the more that I do that not only create a large resource of creativity coming from the, conscience, to solve all sorts of situations. But I also am continuously building the muscles of willpower to do what’s to be done, when it’s to be done and not to do what is not to be done. And when it is not to be done.

Get the conscience involved with every decision

Myrna; How can we reap instant benefits from employing our, conscience, in every decision that we make?

Leonard: That brings up a very important point to do with the, law of karma. That simply means that thoughts lead to action, action, which leads to consequence. Now, as we mentioned a few moments ago most of us feel that the consequence that we want to experience in every relationship is, happiness, to carry good health in body and mind. The question is, do we have a business for that?

I call it the, bridge of yoga. The, bridge of yoga, is a philosophical and a scientific bridge that encourages us 24/7 to base our outer actions thoughts, words and deeds, on the, superconscious wisdom, that is within us, that is us at the core of our being. And the more that I can employ that, bridge of yoga, we can call it anything, we can call it the bridge of Christianity, the bridge of Judaism, the bridge of Islam. You see, you can come up with your own name, but is the more that we base our outer actions. The wise good counsel the, conscience, we are continuously enabled, meekly fulfill the purpose of life without pain, misery or bondage.

Sowing and reaping begin with our thoughts, I can’t even raise my hand without first undertaking a thought. The mind moves first, the body just follows. So, what we want the bodies to take an action to bring about a consequence that will bring me, happiness, health and security. I better examine my thoughts.

Because not every thought is going to bring the, happiness, bring me security, or bring the health of the, conscience. If I counsel with the, conscience, and I can quiet the, ego, senses and, unconscious mind, after they make the presentation of their limited perspectives. The, conscience, will tell me what’s to be done.

Your Conscience

Myrna: Tell us about your book “Your Conscience” why did you write it and what do you want readers to walk away with after writing after reading it?

Leonard: I wrote it during the first months of COVID. I was in quarantine and a teacher. I had people coming to the American meditation Institute where I teach. But they weren’t coming because everybody was in quarantine at the time. So how am I going to reach people? What do I have that I can give them?

People are in tremendous amount of pain and they don’t have the tools. This goes back to scouting. They don’t have the tools to be prepared for whatever life can throw them. What can I give them? I asked myself, I said, the most important thing I can give them is an understanding of the functions of the mind and how to coordinate them serve the, conscience. And so that’s why I wrote the book.

Myrna; What do you want them to walk away with?

Leonard: The only thing that I would like them to walk away with is not believe me. I don’t want anyone who can hear this, to believe a word I am saying. But I would appreciate it. I will support you if this is true. If you’re interested and willing to experiment with your own, conscience, in all sorts of situations, but make sure that they’re all easy at first.

You don’t want to just pick up 200 pounds thinking that you’re going to build muscles when you’ve never done any kind of exercise before. Start with one or two pounds and then three or four and then five and 10 pounds. And within a short time, you’ll be building some muscles without injuring yourself. So, if you’re interested at all, turn your entire life into a laboratory to experiment with your own, conscience, and see what happens. Train and love and parent, your, ego, senses, and, unconscious mind.

Conclusion

Myrna: How can readers pick up a copy of your book. What’s your social media handles if anyone wants to follows you? And of course, you are the director of the American meditation Institute’s you can also talk about that.

Leonard: Well, yes, I founded the American meditation Institute in 1996. And our website is www.Americanmeditation.org. On the homepage, you can see our foundation course which provides a full curriculum of everything that I’ve been discussing. There’s also on the homepage, a free link to a Sunday meditation every Sunday from 930 to 11am. Eastern time, you get a, free guided meditation, and a free date to discuss philosophical questions, just like Myrna and I have been discussing today. You also get a free recording.

Additional Resources

Six Rules of The Mind

June 17, 2022

3 Ways To Let Your Inner Greatness Shine Through

We are all, golden buddhas, underneath, we cover up our, inner greatness, with the, mud, of, self-doubt, feelings of, not being good enough, insecurity and other, negative emotions.

In this episode of 5 mins with Coach Myrna, I want to teach on the subject 3 ways to let your, inner greatness, shine through. I want to use the story of the, Golden Buddha, as my foundational story.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10810623-3-ways-to-let-your-inner-greatness-shine-through.mp3?download=true

The Golden Buddha

Story of the Golden Buddha that was covered up in mud by the monks so that the gold couldn’t shine through.

In Bangkok there is a golden statue of the Buddha that stands 9’8” tall, weighs 5.5 tons and is worth approximately 250 million in gold.

The statue was thought to be built in 1,403 and was revered by Buddhist for many hundreds of years. In 1,757 the Burmese Army was invading Thailand. Facing complete annihilation, the Buddhist monks at the monastery hastily began covering their, Golden Buddha, with plaster, which was painted and inlaid with bits of colored glass, to make it look of little or no value to the invading army. During the invasion all the Buddhist monks were tragically murdered, but the, Golden Buddha, was left undiscovered.

In 1957 an entire Monastery in Thailand was being relocated by a group of monks. One day they were moving a giant clay Buddha when one of the monks noticed a large crack in the clay. On closer investigation he saw there was a golden light emanating from the crack. The monk used a hammer and a chisel to chip away at the clay exterior until he revealed that the statue was in fact made of solid gold.

Don’t cover up your inner greatness with mud

This story illustrates the point that we can cover up our value by layering it with, mud, as well. So let me ask you. What is your, mud?

What life experiences added layers of, mud, and covered up your value to the world?

We are all, golden buddhas, underneath, but we cover up our, inner greatness, with the, mud of self-doubt, feelings of not being good enough, insecurity and other, negative emotions.

Here are 3 ways to chip away at your mud let your inner greatness shine through:

Identify your mud. Is it self-doubt? Lack of self-worth? Body image, not being good enough? You can’t change what you don’t identify and until you dig through the layers of mud you can’t shine and become what you were created to do.

The, false self, is an artificial persona that people create very early in life to protect themselves from re-experiencing developmental trauma, shock, and stress in close relationships.

Meaning, our delusionary self-creation process starts early in our childhood.

Often, we had to be unnaturally attuned to the demands of our parents, sensing we had to comply in order to be loved and tolerated; we had to be false before we had the chance to feel properly alive.

And this continues in our educational systems and careers.

Most of the time, we are putting on a mask, complying with our teachers, our bosses, our colleagues, our partners, our friends…

2. Speak to the mud

if your, mud, is feelings of not being good enough for example then speak to those feelings and tell them that you are good enough, you were created for this purpose. If your, mud, is body image tell it that you are wonderfully made and beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and you are perfect just the way you are.

“Every problem is a gift – without problems we would not grow.” Believing that problems are opportunities to grow, rather than insurmountable obstacles, is called a, growth mindset, and it’s essential if you want to learn how to stop being insecure. Instead of feeling like a failure just because we have, insecurities, we gain the freedom to view those, insecurities, as a source of information for our personal and professional growth.

Instead of avoiding our, insecurities, we learn to speak to them. Most, insecurities, are not based on facts, so you can speak to them and challenge them. As you commit yourself to putting aside your fears and utilizing your insecurity as a source of valuable information, you eliminate the “what ifs” associated with avoidance and open the door to opportunity.

3. Take action to remove the mud:

Our daily behaviors reflect our deepest beliefs.
Clean up your language and speak life into your situation.
Take massive action to change your beliefs.
Train your mind with new beliefs and affirmations.

Realize that you were conditioned to believe that you can’t do something. Think of the elephant that is controlled by a sodden stick in the ground.

Figure out, When did you decide to accept this limitation.

Resources in the mind are unlimited, use the fuel of your thoughts to find the resources to do something great and uncover your, Golden Buddha, your, inner greatness, and let your value shin through.

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning into this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with Coach Myrna. I want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach to be inspired throughout the week. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

Have a Positive Mindset: Get Rid of Automatic Negative Thoughts

June 13, 2022June 19, 2022

Who Are You? How To Connect To Your Inner Guidance

Matheo Galatis teaches how we can connect to our, inner guidance system, to know ourselves and to find, who are you, your beliefs systems inherited from your, genetic patterns. Once you know, who are you, then you will be able to use the, law of Attraction, to get the things you want in life.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10785592-who-are-you-how-to-connect-to-your-inner-guidance.mp3?download=true

BIO

Matheo Galatis founder of the, Know Yourself teachings, aimed at supporting you to cut through the confusion in the, personal development industry, and learn about the hidden dynamics that affect your life. He has trained over 200 professional coaches, was a director of a coaching company in South Africa, worked in organizations such as Oracle stratus, South Africa, Mars, Africa and clients from 27 different countries, ranging from successful CEOs, political and public personalities, executives, coaches, trainers, therapists, and entrepreneurs.

But they are mistaking the, personal development industry, to a whole new level by supporting people to find what he calls your, transformational why. The one thing that usually prevents people from getting, unstuck, and achieving their desires.

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We develop our belief systems from genetic patterns

Myrna: That’s an awesome Bio. It seems that you are in the work of service helping people to get to know them selves again. What was your journey to becoming a teacher of, personal development? How do we pick up these, genetic patterns?

Matheo: Essentially this is what happens. To know, who are you, and, know yourself, I explain in quite a bit of detail the different ways we take on stuff from our parents and the generations before. It can happen through observation. When we’re growing up, we have certain experiences and we observe our parents, we start mimicking what our parents do.

So, that’s one way, but it runs even deeper. Our parents, sometimes they have something unexpressed in themselves, a dream or maybe an emotion that’s suppressed. And they’ve suppressed that, they push it down. Now what happens is when they conceive a child, the DNA of the supreme shun or the suppression is obviously encoded into the gene, because everything is according to the gene.

Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

The suppression gene and knowing who you are

The gene knows there’s a, suppression, and that gene goes into the child and the child now has a, suppression. Now the job of the, suppression, sharing is not to be there. The purpose is when something’s suppressed, it’s suppressed momentarily or temporarily moved and at some point in life it needs to be expressed in words.

For example, if someone has a, suppression, at a very young age and they don’t process it, its hard for them to know, who you are. They don’t work through the short stays inside the system, it’s frozen inside the, muscle memory, in the, subconscious mind, of the brain. And what happens is they continue living with us. Now if they don’t deal with it in their lifetime, that’s obviously restoring the genes and is going to get passed on to the next generation.

Children don’t do well at home, they don’t become aware of it that’s gonna get passed on, so we have something in our evolution that is already in inside of us to help us with, traumatic patterns. Some emotions are blocked, so when children are born later on life at some point they are triggered and that’s what pushes the buttons of the parents.

When children start behaving in ways the parents don’t like, I call the parent control we think wow my child is out of character. The child is not actually out of character, the child is just mirroring or expressing things that the parent doesn’t want to see inside themselves and haven’t processed within themselves.

Finding who you are from subconscious patterns

Children will start acting out bringing forth, subconscious patterns, from their parents. A, guidance system, is your, spiritual journey, where you’ve got like a router or an angel or your higher self, and they’re communicating with you. I like to call this the, inner guidance system, is the connection to your, true self, and finding out, who are you.

Your, guidance system, helps you connect to your, true self, when you’re not connected to your, true self. When you’re connected to yourself, you’re able to distinguish in an instant, what is true and right for you versus what is not. In an instant, there is no debate in the mind. There’s just a sense of yes or a sense of no. And it’s not happening from a fear. It’s not happening from a desire, it’s happening from this, inner knowing.

These, beliefs, are part of our, belief system, there are, family patterns. So, an example with a, belief system. If you have a, belief system, I’m not worthy, how do you behave? If you’re very insecure how do you behave? The other way is to trying to cover up the perceived unworthiness and show that you’re worthy. The, belief system, I’m not worthy is a persona which is not you, it’s just a, belief system.

Who are you? Are You a people pleaser?

This belief of unworthiness can develop into a, people pleaser. I’m a, people pleaser. The, people pleaser, that person owner’s a person has developed in order not to feel the unworthiness.

Myrna: I get what you’re saying a lot of times they say the extroverts are covering up some some deep down feeling as well that’s why they need to be the life of the party.

Okay so alright so what we’re talking about though is our, inner guidance system, and, knowing yourself. What you’re saying is you let people understand that the personality that they’re projecting to the world is not real. And you help them to connect to their, inner guidance system, to know themselves.

Letting your inner guidance system uncover who you are

Matheo: Right. So that’s what I mean by, inner guidance system, is that you have a an innate intelligence telling you what’s true and right for you right now. It tells you, who you are.

Myrna: So talk about whats behind, beliefs. I know we talked about that a little bit, but maybe we can expand on it a little bit by because you said, belief systems, are difficult to resolve. So so let’s go with our example that we’re talking about this person that, you know, doesn’t feel that there were any.

So when you go into the training and coaching, you help them understand to peel away those layers and understand, who you are. They’re maybe not feeling worthy because of something they inherited or maybe something somebody said to them 40 years ago, or whatever, you need to peel that back. But why do you think it’s difficult for someone to resolve that specific, belief system?

Your beliefs are not who you are

Matheo: It is challenging working with a, belief system. A, belief system, was created a long time ago so around up to the age from conception up to the age of seven, eight years old our, belief systems, about ourselves and about life and about other people are formed.

How we perceive the world is being created, so this is at an age where the brain is just absorbing everything that is happening in the world and making associations. But a lot of people might rarely even get to that, belief system, because they’re dealing with other, belief systems.

I developed a belief of I’m shy or a persona I’m shy. And because this happened at two years old, I grew up as a shy person, knowing that oh, I’m just shy, I’m just a quiet person, so I’ll become an accountant and an auditor. Yeah, because I’m shy. So, who are you? Are you shy or an extrovert?

Train yourself to connect to your emotions, train your souls to connect to your body, so that you know how you feel at any time, whether it’s good or bad emotions doesn’t matter, connect to them. Allow yourself to have these emotions, because that’s how you’re going to go down into the, beliefs, and into the other aspects that are hidden inside of you.

And that’s what we want to identify and remove what’s hidden. Because when you remove what’s hidden, then you start to become more and more free.

How to know yourself

Myrna: And that’s how you, know yourself, and find out, who you are. This is what we’re talking about here. I had a short stint with a therapist. I talked to her for about a month or so, and one of the things I got from those sessions was not to stuff down my feelings but to catch them and breathe into them.

This has been an incredible conversation to highlight your skills highlight what you do for people. And I will tell you there’s so many people that are walking around don’t know, who they are. I don’t want to use I use the word broken, but people become broken from past traumas. So what you what you’re doing is phenomenal. Tell us how somebody can sign up or how you offer this training.

Matheo: The teachers that came before me and many researchers and scientists know that the subconscious runs our life. We’re able to to retrain and recondition the subconscious, but doing it the correct way is important. We have to uncover what’s causing In the subconscious mind to dictate our lives. So I put together the, Know Yourself teachings, and this essentially explains step by step how finding out, who you are, works, how thoughts become, beliefs, how emotions work.

Using your inner guidance system to find out who you are

Emotions, are like a garden system, we go in and out gamify. Not listening to your, inner guidance system, does not bring you back on track.

Myrna: So explain how our, internal guidance system, works when we’re not listening to our own, inner guidance.

Matheo: I go through the five different ways that we take on stuff from our parents, help clients realize that there was are many patterns running their life. Many of them was the specifically looking at the, family patterns.

Connect with Matheo and get access to the Know Yourself Teaching @ http://matheogalatis.com/

Additional Resources

5 Ways Millennials Can Stimulate Personal Development

June 10, 2022

What Is The Foundation Of Happiness

What is the, foundation of happiness? We live in a culture where, happiness, is largely based on external forces. Like, what did we get and what did we achieve? And that’s basically your, foundation of happiness. And when our life conditions don’t match your expectations, we experience pain and fear. We suffer and become unhappy.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10745096-what-is-the-foundation-of-happiness.mp3?download=true

Foundation of Happiness is Inner peace

But imagine what it would feel like if you could create a constant sense of, inner peace, and freedom and live each day in a beautiful state. Hi, I’m Coach Myrna young and welcome to, Five minute Fridays with Coach Myrna. I want to ask you what’s preventing you from, happiness, and living in a state of, peace and joy?

I remember watching the, happiness movie, once. And this was a documentary that was recorded in India, where people who are living on maybe $100 a year living in huts with just covering over their head, most of them sleeping on rocks on the floor. And they were, happy. And this is why this was so unusual in the documentary.

It looked at the, foundation of happiness, what is happiness, and what causes, happiness. The end result of what that movie was trying to show was that it doesn’t matter how poor you are, it doesn’t matter if you don’t have a lot of money. What matters most to the people and the, foundation of happiness, is family, and love.

Happiness, is making sure your children are safe and things like that. Research shows that 85% of our, happiness, comes from our, relationships. It’s not just, relationships, with people, it’s, relationship, with God as well. If you don’t believe in God, then your, relationship, with the planet and the universe becomes important, but that is basically how we find, true happiness.

The, foundation of happiness, is living a life of peace and joy. Now, there’s a time when I believed that your spouse, or your children or your boss, or somebody was responsible for our, happiness, but nobody can be responsible for your, happiness. I remember when Jennifer Gardner told the world that Ben Aflec was not responsible for her, happiness. He was not the foundation of her happiness. of course they broke up because he was cheating on her with the nanny but even though she was hurt her, happiness, did not come from external sources and events.

Definition of happiness

Nobody can be responsible for our, happiness. You think that you’re going to be happy when you get a husband or when you get that new car or that new job. But once you get, what you find is when you get these things, you’re not really happy, because, happiness, only comes from internal sources, and I personally found that the, definition of happiness, is correct.

It’s true.

The, definition of happiness, is working towards a goal or purpose.

And that’s where my, happiness, comes from. My ,happiness, comes from me trying to excel in what I do. I am a host on a radio program, podcast, I’m a lifecoach. Things that I am working towards, in order to better myself. I learn something new every day because, I practice CANI which is constant and never ending improvement. And when I find that I’m growing then I’m happy.

Good, personal relationships, enhances my life, when you’re fighting with your husband you’re not thinking of what you don’t have in your life. When you’re in the lack mode, you really can’t access your, inner peace, and joy that actually brings you, happiness. So I want you to discover what’s holding you back from, happiness.

What’s holding you back from being happy. I would like to encourage you to tap in to, inner peace, with, meditation, and, mindfulness, and start living in the, present moment, because, happiness, can only be found in the present moment. That is the, foundation of happiness, being in the present moment. Not in the past, not in the future.

Take the time to sit with your feelings of unhappiness, or pain, or regret. And maybe you can even try to find a lesson in it. Because there’s a test in every testimony. So try to find what the universe or God was trying to teach you with that circumstances that you said, made you unhappy. And then once you sit with it, and feel the pain and not trying to, self medicate, with drugs or food or sex or whatever you do to try to feel better.

You just sit with the painful feelings. When you sit with it, then you you will find that you can stop the pain and allow life to unfold in the beautiful way that it was meant to be. One of the things I do to stop the minor irritations in my personal life and that are trying to take my joy and peace away is to breathe deeply.

People will always irritate you. My little irritation comes when I call my husband, and he doesn’t pick up the phone, and I’m wondering why he can’t hear the phone, or my kids leave the house and not tell me where they’re going and I think it’s disrespectful. So I’ve learned to do something that’s called R&R which is, relax and release. And what this is, I breathe in deeply and relax and then I breathe out through my mouth and release it out.

If you do this breathing method for a few minutes, then you will find that that irritation is no longer there. And the next time that person does that same thing, then you’re actually not going to get irritated because you caught it. Caught it and you relaxed and you released it.

Conclusion

So that is all for today’s five minutes with Coach Myrna. I hope that I shared a few things on, happiness foundation, and maybe you can start doing some of these things. In order for you to, be happy. Remember, happiness, is not from external sources. It is only from your internal peace or moving towards a goal or desire. What you moving towards it, you’re in alignment with the universe and you will be happy. So until next time, Namaste

Additional Resources

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

June 6, 2022June 6, 2022

How to Rewire The Brain to Engage The Law Of Attraction

Bob Doyle, from, the Secret, teaches that we need to do more than concentrate on our, vibration, and, vision boards, for, the law of attraction, to work. We must, rewire our brains. He teaches that the metaphysical aspects of, the law of attraction, or the “reality creation” process is what controls our experiences.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10657647-rewiring-the-brain-for-the-law-of-attraction.mp3?download=true

Bio

Bob Doyle is best known for his contribution to the film and book “The Secret” as a law of attraction expert and coach. He has been teaching these principles through programs, live events, podcasts, live streams, coaching, writing, and even virtual reality, since 1988. He is driven by his passion for creative self-expression and his work is heavily focused on helping people decide whom they want to be and how they want to express themselves.

Recently Bob’s attention has shifted from the metaphysical aspects of the, law of attraction, or reality creation process to a more grounded and biological look at what controls our experiences…our, brain.

The Law of Attraction and the Secret

Myrna: After 20 years, why to shift away from the, law of attraction, and, the Secret?

Bob: So, after, the Secret, especially, a lot of people got in the game, the law of attraction, experts were putting out their programs and a lot of them didn’t really have the research or experience. They were sort of regurgitating what they got from, the Secret, or had heard. And what happened was that people got very confused about this, law of attraction. Some of them who had not heard of it before, the Secret, got understandably excited about it.

They thought this is how I’m going to get everything I want in my life. I want to learn more about it. So, they go out in the world, and they start learning about it. And they’re learning all of these techniques and they’re learning about, vibration, and resistance and vibrational resonance, and all this stuff. They’re learning about, vision boards, and lists and, visualization, and the whole thing. It’s a lot that they’re trying to figure out and they’re trying all of these different techniques and they’re so focused on getting the, law of attraction, right, that they’re putting almost no focus on the most important thing, which is who do they need to be to attract those things.

When it is through who we’re being, that things happen in the world, our action is expressed the things we say, the thing how we make meaning in the world is all at all a factor of our, brains wiring. So, our experience of reality is all based on how our, brain, is processing this ocean of energy. So, if we’re not getting the results that we want in our life, it’s ultimately a factor of our, brains wiring. So, the reason I’m shifting from, law of attraction, to changing your, brains wiring, in terms of a focus for teaching and coaching and, transformation, is because there’s nothing to get confused about.

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Rewiring the brain to get results

You don’t have to worry about all the processes and the techniques and getting it wrong and self-doubt and all of that stuff. That’s it, and that’s proven science. So how do we change your, brain, so that you can become the person that get the results or attract the results you want?

Myrna: That’s awesome. I do believe that again. I’m one of the ones that went after, the Secret, trying to understand, the law of attraction, and the, vision boarding, and, vibration. But what you’re saying is that if you keep your thoughts clean, and your energy positive, the law of attraction, is not going to work for you unless you, rewire the brain.

Bob: No, it’s not so, this is the problem. We’re getting into this, law of attraction, it’s always working. It’s always working and the focus that we’re putting on it is confusing the issue. We don’t need to understand how gravity works for the glass to fall when we let go of it. We also don’t need to understand how, the law of attraction, works. What we need to do is focus on what action we need to take every day so that, the law of attraction, works automatically. Everything in your life, you’re attracting it, because you’re on this sort of default way of being. It’s an, autopilot.

You may not think of it that way. But because of your, brain’s wiring, you’re not consciously looking at how can you improve your wiring, you’re probably going on, autopilot. And all of those, autopilot, behaviors are getting results in the world, that result in your reality. So different results come from different action, different ways of being.

Myrna: right. Okay, so we’re talking about, rewiring the brain, but we’re talking also about energy and, vibration. I’m trying to understand it for the people that are believed that the energy and vibration is responsible for attracting before we get onto the rewiring.

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Law of attraction and the brain

Bob: Let me make clear that I am not against any of that, I stood for these principles for 20 years and I still believe them the vibration, the energy, the resonant. That’s all there. The problem and it the magic, if you will, the invisible stuff, but all of those results in the universe presenting you with something. Now you have to act, what you’ve been presented, what are you going to do with it and what action can you take that will affect your, vibration, and send out the stuff all the cool, Law of Attraction, stuff. But if we focus so much on the magic issue or the invisible issue or energy, we’re not rewiring our, brain.

Myrna: Alright, so that’s a good a good segue into how does rewiring the, brain, help us with manifesting in the, law of attraction?

Bob: So, right now we’re manifesting totally on, autopilot. For the most part, most people are manifesting is because of their, autopilot wiring, and their behaviors. So, if we want to manifest something different, then we have to focus on changing the wiring within us that will create the action that will get those results. Okay. So, rewiring, is fundamental. The whole premises of this whole conversation is that permanent, transformation. Transformation, does not happen unless the brain is rewired.

If we’re not consciously reinforcing all of that, and we’re allowing our old triggers to take us back into our old patterns, then we were not going to grow new neural pathways. They’re going to be in a permanent place that’s going to create new, autopilot behavior.

The personality types of the brain

Myrna: So, I know what you’re saying. That’s why they’re saying that motivation is so good because you’re excited for a second, and there’s no deep, transformation. Right, exactly. So, I know that you know, in our conversation, that you have a quiz that people can do to get this process started of, rewiring the brain, so you want to talk about it now.

Bob: Yeah, so the very first question is does my behavior is dictated by my wiring? I want to rewire how do I begin, right, like that makes sense. So, to really effectively, rewire the brain, you need to know where your current wiring is, so that you can recognize it when it’s at play. And then you can consciously override it. That is the process that’s required here. We’re going to need to consistently override the old wiring, old thought process.

We’re going to need to physically take different actions, we’re going to have to consciously make new meaning, but for us to be able to do that we have to be able to see that we’re on, autopilot, in the first place. So that’s where I created this quiz. And it’s called the, transformation personality type quiz. So, it’s not your typical, personality type, that’s out there in the corporate world. This is something I totally created just for myself based on my own experience. 20 years of dealing with people who are trying to transform that they fall into one of these or more one or more of these four types, personality types, when it comes to, personal transformation.

So, there’s nothing wrong with any of these types. And just because you are one of these types, it doesn’t mean that you’re going to sabotage or slow your efforts. However, if you are a person who has been working on this for a while, and it seems like it should be here by now, then this is this is something you can do to try to figure out what behaviors might I have in going that are stopping me?

Your Autopilot Response

So, the quiz identifies the, personality type. It explains the behaviors that type has that can cause self-sabotage, and then offers very specific things you can do instead. So, I invite anybody reading this, it only takes 60 seconds to take the quiz and it’s free. They can go to www.TPTquiz.com. Just as multiple choice they’ll know their type. They’ll have a video they can watch. They there’s a PDF they’ll get that explains more about their type and then what they can do about it.

But we can also talk about briefly, you know the four types here so that they if they do take the quiz, then they can you know, they can understand that we’re talking about them.

Myrna: Okay, briefly, what are what are the four types?

Bob: So, let’s assume that they went in took the quiz and now they’re back. Now the number one type most popular is the, seeker type.

The Seeker Brain

The, seeker type, is a person who is very committed to their, personal transformation. They really want the best in their life. And so, to do that, they try everything that comes along. There’s nothing wrong with having that kind of wild enthusiasm and curiosity. However, if you’re trying to implement something, a process, a new way of thinking, a structured way of thinking that is going to create wiring in your, brain, you got to stay consistent.
You can’t just keep flip flopping from approach to approach you’re giving your brain no time to grow anything. Remember it’s a biological process that starts with thought and intention and consent continues with consistency.

The Skeptic Brain

Number two – the skeptic, obviously wants the best in their life, but maybe they’ve been burned a few times with this when things didn’t show up the way they thought and they made that mean that oh nothing really works. So, the skeptic, while committed to, transformation, generally looks at an opportunity for change. And the question they have internally is, why won’t this work for me?

And when you ask yourself or the universe a question like that, you’re going to get those answers. If you ask the different questions, you’ll get different answers. So, the same skeptical person who is a, skeptic, they don’t want to be duped. They want to be intellectual and logical about this can ask a different question, get different results, and then actually allow themselves to take action. And it’s just the opposite of the question they automatically ask.

So instead of saying, why won’t this work for me, they asked How could this work for me? And leave us all their intellect in logic and see how I could work? Because if they keep asking themselves the wrong question, they’ll never take action. They’ll get to be right about how it will work because they’ll never get a result. And the law and the logical the skeptical, brain, likes to be right they don’t want to look stupid.

The Wizard Brain

The next personality type is – the wizard. The Law of Attraction, community feels, the skeptic, is all logic and the, wizard, is all invisible trust and magic. Rituals, vision boards, the list, visualization, they’re just conjuring mentality like I’m using the, law of attraction, to change the energy of the universe so that they will do my bidding, rather than changing themselves. This is where the, alchemy, needs to begin. And then the universe will respond to you, you have to be a cause.
So, the wizard, brain, and all of their rituals helps it’s what you were talking about. There is the energy, there is the, vibration. All this stuff is happening. It’s sending stuff out there, if you will, but it also needs to be affecting who you are being in the world. You cannot just sit cross legged and be your, wizard, in your cave and not show the world how you are now this new person.
So, the wizardry, brain, needs to be around visioning yourself as this ultimate, wizard. you that’s what you’re conjuring, not the stuff, not the money, you’re conjuring the best version of who will take the action to get those things.

The Heartbreaker Brain

The last one is the – heartbreaker, brain. The, heartbreaker, is the, people pleaser. And the, people pleaser, is someone who really wants to transform and I know that this happens for a lot of people. They stop their progress when the people around them start to get uncomfortable. Start to comment, what are you doing, who do you think you are? Or in some other way, add a negative layer of emotion to your journey.
And so, for whatever your reasons you stop, whether it’s to make them comfortable, yourself comfortable or whatever, you stop your journey. Now, a lot of times it is so that mom will be uncomfortable. You won’t make that person mad. You’re trying to keep everybody comfortable.
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Neuroplasticity of the brain

Myrna: All right. How does, neuroplasticity, fit in into, rewiring the brain? Can you make the connection for us?

Bob: Well, neuroplasticity, is the brain’s ability to rewire. So, in essence, it’s the same thing. So, neuroplasticity, there’s a there’s neurogenesis or the ability to grow new brain cells and all those other things, and then, neuroplasticity, which is the ability for it to change. And that’s really all we’re focused on. There’s a lot of people out there in the community, the personal development communities, we’re talking about the, brain, now who might have been talking to, law of attraction, before I’m not the only one.

And a lot of these people will go very deep into the parts of the, brain, and how this is all happening. Personally, I’m intentionally not doing that because I’m afraid that what’s going to happen is people are going to get focused on that again, just like they were all, the law of attraction, stuff. We weren’t meant to have to understand all of us.

We weren’t born into this human experience with all this amazing creative potential that we have needing to know all the ins and outs of the biology and how it works. We don’t need to know that. All we need to know is that this right here is a reality creation machine. And all we need to do is feed it the vision that we want for ourselves and then move and act and be in alignment with the person who would have that vision and it will all just take care of itself.

But we are adults and just waking up to this we have to understand we have a lifetime wiring a lifetime and it doesn’t seem like wiring. It just seems like our truth. And so, anything radically outside of our truth, we’re going to have conflict with it. It doesn’t fit into our normal paradigm. But we can look past that and see that in the world.

There are people who have the success and the things that we want. It is possible but they are being something different. You don’t have to be them. But there is certain action that they’re taking, certain ways of being that they are that have brought them those results. It’s not magic. It’s the result of logical action that you’re taking.

Rewiring the brain on autopilot

Myrna: You said something earlier that I want to connect the dots, because you’re talking about, rewiring the brain, but that can also be the same thing as, reprogramming. And we’re all programmed, by the time we’re seven years old, in order to be erase the tape, then we have to, rewire the brain. So, once they take the quiz and then become conscious of their programming. Because 95% of people are not conscious of their programs.

The, Law of Attraction, is working all the time, consciously or unconsciously. What are you thinking? What do you say? I don’t want this. That’s what’s going to show up. What do you say I want this, maybe sometimes it shows up. Whatever is happening to us is that we’re recreating it. So, talk a little bit about, autopilot.

Bob: Well, autopilot, if we do not wake up to our wiring to see that we are in fact program. We can probably see some program behavior, we do rituals every day and so on, but how we make meaning out of our lives and how that causes us to take action or not take action. If we don’t wake up to that then we are by default on, autopilot, which means we’re literally robots just reacting to stimuli based on the wiring that we’ve the programming that we’ve been given that we have mostly, subconsciously, just led in without too much critical thinking or evaluating.

So now everything we’re doing is on, autopilot, for the most part, even though sometimes it feels like we’re making a conscious decision. What is driving that decision? It’s probably some, unconscious wiring, that hasn’t been properly evaluated, especially if it is in some way limiting you from moving forward toward your dreams. So, we’re all running on some sort of, autopilot, until we realize that we are and start being conscious about it.

So, then we get conscious about it for a while, long enough for new neural pathways to form and now we have a new, autopilot, and that, autopilot, is manifesting on a different level. It’s creating different results because we visualize what we need to do. We take that action, we make different meaning, we don’t buy into old limiting stories. So much of a part of this is giving up all of our old stories.

Beliefs and the Brain

Myrna; The old stories, you’re talking about beliefs?

Bob: Beliefs, like my dad did this, or I’ve lived here and I didn’t have this and bla bla bla all the reasons, all the sad stories. And the thing is this, yeah, if you keep hanging on to those, beliefs, you will always be a prisoner of them. You have to let them go and tell yourself a new story. Because most of what you’re telling yourself in this story that is affecting you and causing you to not take action, is a lie.

Anyway, its interpretation is something you made up based on some action that did occur. How you move forward in your life is something that you made up based on your wiring. So, we want to create wiring in the, brain, that moves you in the action that you need to take to get what you want.

Myrna: How can readers learn more about your program and what you offer. How you help people, rewire their brain?

Bob: Well, the quiz is a good front door to everything, because then we all know where we stand. I know how to help you, and you could use some assistance, so that is a good way to get it. After you take the quiz, you’ll learn about our boundless living challenge, which is where I do the work with people. It’s an online community. They have 45 days of new content every day that’s real short and concise. They know exactly what to do every day.

They have tools to deal with the emotional spikes that come with all of this rewiring process. They have coaching on a regular basis. All the things I know after 20 years of coaching people actually helps people make a change, isn’t it? If they just want to know more general stuff about me there’s www.meetBobdoyle.com that just my website, you can get to the quiz from there as well. And then you can also see how I coach and train and some of the other stuff that I’m doing.

https://youtu.be/jt2LMmpSsY8

Additional Resources

The Law of Attraction: How Vibrational Energy Works

May 30, 2022

The Difference Between A Queen and A Princess

The difference between a, princess, and a, queen, is that the, princess, is waiting on someone to come and save while the, queen, has the emotional maturity to know that she has to save herself and her people.

In this episode, Gina DeVee, author of the, Audacity to Be Queen, makes reference to, Queen Esther, in the bible story of how she used her influence with the King to save her people the Jews. She didn’t wait on a prince to save her, she learnt how to communicate with the King

Download the Podcast Here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10652216-the-difference-between-a-queen-and-a-princess.mp3?download=true

Bio

Gina went from being a broke psychologist to a multi-million dollar women’s empowerment and lifestyle brand with Divine Living. She has dedicated her career to helping women connect spiritually, start profitable businesses, and create wealth from a feminine perspective. Some of those women include Jen Sincero, who (fun fact!) dedicated her book on money to Gina.

Her first book, The Audacity to be Queen, consolidates over 20 years of experience in transforming women’s lives through the deep spiritual and feminine wisdom of Queenhood.

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The Princess Mentality

The, princess mentality, is tough for us women, because we’re read stories from a very young age and most the impressionable time about being a, princess. And how someone else is going to come save us that we will live happily ever after.

So, for us to get out of the, princess mentality, and develop the emotional maturity and the wisdom that a, queen, has, that life isn’t perfect. Life isn’t fair. It doesn’t mean it’s horrible, though. either. It’s just the way it is.

Gina: I grew up Christian and my book is not overtly Christian, but it is based on the, book of Esther, in the Bible. Jews know the story from the Bible, and for everyone else, it’s kind of a Cinderella story, basically, Esther, was the most unlikely candidate to become the, Queen, of Persia.

I was on a plane one day and reading the Bible. I happened to be reading the book of, Esther, that day, and it was the first time that it really leapt off the page. And I was like, this isn’t just Esther’s story. This is the story of every woman, on some level, maybe symbolically. We’ve all been orphaned, exiled, taken out of our comfort zone, and really had been prepared for such a time as this. And I just really saw it almost as the heroine’s journey of us all and started doing retreats and workshops on it. So really, the substance of my work is about being the, Queen, based on the character of, Esther’s story.

Myrna: You okay, so we got that from, Queen Esther. I was thinking you meant when a man calls his woman his, Queen.

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Queen Esther saves the Jews

Gina: I go through a lot more in chapter four in my book, so if anyone wants the cool, Queen Esther, story from when I also realized is, you know, Esther, was under an enormous amount of pressure, she had to risk her life. The king didn’t know he had married a Jew, and so she had to reveal who she was, she could have gotten killed. And even under all these pressures, she maintains what the Scriptures say a pleasing disposition, aka positive.

Well, I’m Sicilian, so I can be kind of fiery. One of the things that I do in the book, I talk about the, archetype of Queen, really being our highest self. And then there’s all these other, archetypes, that can show up along the way. And as you pointed out, the, Bitch, is one of them. I think that what happens is I wrote about this in chapter three, growing up to feel safe. None of us grew up in functional families.

Let’s just be clear, there is a certain level of dysfunction in families, the way society set things up, we took either two routes, we took compliance, be the, good girl, do everything right, follow the rules, you know, or defiance. Either or both of them, keep us out of our true self. And so, what I found for myself is I lived so long as a perfect and Little Miss good girl, I was so compliant.

The bitch way of communicating

That when I was done with being the, good girl, I did the pendulum swing into defiance. And it was because I still didn’t really feel like I had power. So, I would let these, bitchy comments, kind of blow out of my mouth when I was under stress or feeling cornered, because I didn’t know how to be an alliance. And so that’s one of the things that I teach in my book is about how we can really speak the truth in love. You don’t have to be a doormat; you don’t have to not have boundaries. And you don’t have to be this, bitch, about it either.

Myrna; All right, so I know exactly what you’re talking about. Because people are always talking to me about, tonality, where you know, it comes across very aggressive when I say something, but I don’t know how not to sound, bitchy, if I’m annoyed. But it doesn’t mean that I want to be a, bitch, it’s just my direct way of communicating. So, what you’re saying is that women can, say what they want to say that’s on their mind, but say, in a queenly way, is that what you’re saying?

Gina: Yes, exactly. You know, speaking the truth without love. It’s just brutal honesty. So, when you when you come from a place of love, you consider your needs, your desires, what it is that you’re looking to communicate and you deeply consider the other person also. And so, when you when you come from this place, what you’re saying might not be popular, it might not even be well received, but you will feel better about yourself because you will know that to the best of your ability you actually set up a win-win situation.

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The 4 communication Archetypes

Myrna: Okay, so that’s basically how you define a, bitch mode of communication. So that’s probably a good segue to talk about. The, archetypes, right. You said there’s four, archetypes:

The Princess
The martyr,
The saboteur
and the Queen.

So, explain, these, archetypes, and maybe give us an example of the, communication, in each them.

Gina: Sure, those are four I do write about many, many more in the book, “The Audacity to be Queen” but I think that we all can see ourselves when we are we self-sabotaging? When we are a, martyr.

Gina: The, princess mentality, is tough for us women, because we’re read stories from a very young age and most the impressionable time about being a, princess. And how someone else is going to come save us that we will live happily ever after. So, Princesses, think that there is this happily ever after in this perfect scenario and then becomes very confused and very distraught when it doesn’t happen and real life shows up.

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The language of a Queen

Myrna: One of the things I loved about, Queen Esther’s, story is she was pushed into this position, you know, to see to save her people. And she embraced it. I loved the fact that she knew how to talk to the king, right? She knew how to ask the King for what she wanted. I wrote that down her strategy for when I want to request anything from my husband. Queen Esther, says “if it pleases Your Highness” That is definitely, Queen, language.

I found that story very amazing that, Queen Esther, learned how to talk to her husband to get what she wanted. A lot of people, a lot of women, don’t want to give the man the respect in order to get what they want from him. So yeah, the, Queen, archetype is knowing how to communicate like a, queen.

All right so our topic today is, how can women cure to disease to please. Let’s talk about the, desire to please, and the, disease to please, and then how you go about teaching women to cure it?

Gina: So, codependency is really what we’re talking about here. It’s when we are just operating to get other people’s approval, love, admiration. And it’s not really a preference. It’s like when I was really codependent it’s like, it’s what I needed to feel safe in the world. And so, I was always monitoring what does someone else want? What do I need to say that’s going to make them happy, or it’s going to make them like me, or it’s going to be acceptable to them?

The disease to please

And so, too, oftentimes, modern day women are just terrified of what other people are going to think about them or what other people are going to say, and it stops them from being in the relationship they want to be in or starting the business they want to start or being invisible online. Or speaking their truth. Like there’s so much that the, disease to please, holds back someone’s truth, it’s going to keep them from their destiny.

So, really healing codependency and curing that so to speak in our lives, it’s one of the most courageous journeys a woman could be on, to stop needing other people’s permission or approval. And, you know, the more you give yourself permission, the more you approve of yourself, is going to be the way that you’re going to attract people who feel similarly and it’s the more freedom. It’s the only way you’re going to live a free life.

Myrna: Women always feel you know, when they have the, disease to please, is that they always feel being authentic and understanding there, personal power, is the way to not have to feel that you’d like to please whether it’s your children, whether it’s your man, it’s your boss, you know, wherever you feel that you the, desire to please, in order for you to get attention.

You talked about the feminine perspective. How are you differentiating that in being a, Queen?

The Feminine perspective of Queen

Gina: Yes, well, one of the reasons why I love the, archetype of Queen, is because she’s not all feminine. She’s not a goddess. She is not a mermaid waiting for her, prince, to come save her. And she’s not all like, masculine, like I’m going to take the bull by the horns and I’m going to hustle and have massive action. The, Queen, is not like the, Tony Robbins, or Gary Vaynerchuk way of being in the world are like that empowered and masculine. The, Queen, has both male and female energy, there is masculine and feminine energy.

It’s just the western world is obsessed, addicted really to all things masculine. So, the difference is, masculine energy, which is all things logical, practical, predictable, linear, it’s about action. It’s about thinking. Those are all these masculine traits and ultimately, masculinity is about giving.

And then, femininity is about the, spiritual, the creative, the playful, the passionate, the nonlinear. It’s a circle, it’s about feeling not thinking, it’s about being not taking action. And ultimately, femininity, is about receiving.

All of us have seen people in positions of power, whether they’re male or female, be the ones giving is in control, you know, initiating, taking that action so that’s what we have thought of when we think of success, and it’s just a different age and a different time and particularly women need to get better at receiving a compliment, receiving well exceeded attention. Receiving good in your life and let him know there’s a time play and to be creative and relax, rather than always working, being productive, being effective, all that kind of stuff. So, you know, really getting clear that there is, masculine energy, and there is, feminine energy.

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Masculine and feminine energy

Myrna: that’s a good one because you’re right, women have a problem receiving. They have the, disease to please, because they always want to give and when it’s time to receive, they don’t know how to receive. I tell my daughter all the time, the same thing. We’ve got to learn how to receive.

Gina: So, no matter what you’re taught, most of us have been taught, money, doesn’t grow on trees. You have to work if you want more, money, you have to work harder. And it’s about work all the time. And make sure you save up for a down payment for a home and save, money, for retirement and all this logical linear stuff. And the, feminine energy, way is different.

That’s all the, masculine energy, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with it. It’s like a painting of one color. It’s one dimensional and there’s just other colors to choose from also. So, it’s not about not being, masculine, but it’s about incorporating the, feminine. So, the, feminine, way it’s going to be creative.

The, feminine, is like, do I even want to own my home? Maybe I would rather rent my home and have, money, to travel because that’s part of my value system. Or maybe it’s actually a smarter for me to take the, money, that I would put into a house was only going to make X amount over X number of years and put it into a different kind of investment that maybe didn’t exist when our parents or grandparents told us save for a down payment for a house or real estate.

You know, and so that’s the, feminine, approach of being more creative or spiritually guided or not so logical and linear but being circular and looking at other possibilities that might even be smarter.

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Feminine energy is creative

Myrna: Yeah, I like the creative approach to this definitely right. Feminine energy, is definitely creative. We were built to create. So that is that is definitely, feminine energy. Yeah, so I like that. All right, so yeah, so is there anything else that you want to share that I didn’t ask you?

Gina: I think the thing to really keep in mind especially right now for everyone, I don’t know anyone that’s not reconsidering their life with everything that we’ve all been through. Everyone’s asking what am I doing with my life and you know reevaluating is this even where I want to live? Is this the relationship I want to be in? Is this the job I want? If you have a business, is this the way I want to be doing business?

I really do invite everyone to deeply explore what else is possible because the truth is, we’re not going back to the way it was before the pandemic. That world is an era and consciousness that is done and over. So, a new world opens up, it’s about new and expansion and expression and creative possibility.

So, if you’re yearning for something more, a better life, lean into that. If there’s desires that you used to put off and said, well, I’ll do that later when the kids go to college, or when I retire, when there’s enough time or money left over. What if you started with your desires, what if you prioritize yourself? What if you said no, what if you set a boundary when everyone’s used to you being so available?

The Audacity to be Queen

Myrna: How does everything that you teach circle back to being a, queen?

Gina: Yes. So, the book “The Audacity to be Queen” starts out about how the epic life is possible. Because we got to get back into dreaming. We got to get to especially as adults, we’ve gotten a lot of things knocked out of us our self-confidence, things haven’t worked out. And it can be really tempting to just sit on the sidelines, take it easy, play small, stay safe, you know, whatever that is, so we got to get back into dreaming event.

And then chapter two is on, spirituality, is your superpower. I’m too old to be working that hard anymore. It’s is time for us to really let Spirit and God come in and open us up for miracles, and we got to open up for big opportunities. The way that the Bible talks about my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher.

They say you can work hard, but not work smart. When you get the call of God in your plans and whatever, then you don’t have to do it. And then, when things don’t go your way, like being able to rely on, spirituality, first of all, that’s where faith comes in. And then we get into really exploring much more deeply the difference between, masculine energy, and, feminine energy, and what it actually means to be, feminine. It’s not just about lipstick and a manicure. It’s a whole skill set and way of being in the world.

And then in chapter four talks about like the ultimate, Queen, and how for all of us, this is such a time to be a, Queen. We have been prepared to, be of service to our people. So that’s the real foundation, we’re all meant to be queen and we’re in our lives, like what happened? Why are we not swinging? So, we got to look at some of the unconscious thoughts and beliefs about, self-sabotage, and the, disease to please, and the comparison trap and all of the lack of mind training that most of us have not had. And there’s a lot of tools and exercises in the book that really teach us the mind training.

https://youtu.be/Syt_tDDWbds

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