How to Embrace Female Sexuality and the Divine Feminine

How to Embrace the Divine Feminine


Anahita Joon, Priestest and healer teaches us how to embrace our, female sexuality, and the, divine feminine by exploring our, sexual desires, and not being ashamed.

Anahita is the host of “God, Sex, and Everything in Between Podcast.  We are going to be specifically talking on the topic – “How to Embrace, Female Sexuality, and the, Divine Feminine.

Listen to the Full interview Here:

Bio – Anahita as a, divine feminine, leadership mentor and a credentialed spiritual counselor. She activates, the divine feminine, and  leadership of women who are ready to awaken and unleash the force of nature within. She mentors communities of women, doing the most cutting-edge work of full expression, pivoting and leveling up.

Born during the Islamic revolution of Iran, Anahita is a modern-day priestess, healer and medicine woman. Her work is the culmination of over 25 years of intensive study with mystic masters and Shamans, Social Research as well as over 10 years of our own teaching on, female sexuality,  embodiment and the, divine feminine.  She is committed to women living lives filled with love, beauty, pleasure and power while harnessing leadership and purpose and, the divine feminine.

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Introduction to the God, Sex, and Everything in Between

Tell us about your podcast” God, Sex, and Everything in between” What is your purpose on that podcast, what kind of topics you guys talk about?

Anahita – My whole mission in this life is to bridge the opposites that the experience that I’ve had in my journey as a seeker. My journey as a guide and, sexuality, coach has been really the beauty and good experience, basically those moments of illumination. They really are experienced when we bridge the opposites, when we merge the opposites and those could be anything that we hold in opposition in our thinking, that we hold binary in our thinking.

So a really relevant example of it that actually doesn’t have anything to do with the podcast, an example would be like what’s going on with the “Black Lives Matter” movement and the beauty that happens when there’s unification, when actually opposing energies come together and what that creates.

My journey was so impacted by the dogma of organized religion and the shame of, sexuality, through the vehicle of, God’s word. Then my journey became about actually being able to bow to all of it as sacred and to hold all of it in reverence.  To hold, sex, and obviously hold, God, in reverence and then everything in between.

Everything that would be in the gray, everything that we would want to name maybe good enough, not good enough, or over here, like all of it. We hold it all in reverence with, God, and we hold it all like the primordial primal desire of, sex. We just hold it all as one and in that place is where we actually find freedom, that’s where we find freedom.

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The Divine Feminine vs the Divine Masculine

We talk a lot about, sex, we talk a lot about, female sexuality, we talk also a lot a good amount about, God, and I speak a lot about leadership and the, divine feminine. What it is like for women to lead from a place of the, divine feminine, and how to really balance the, divine masculine,  and, the divine feminine,  energies in leadership.

We talk about plant medicine working with psychedelics, really trying to go to the places that would otherwise be taboo; but probably our listeners are either curious about or experimenting with just not talking to other people about it.

What is the Divine Feminine

Myrna – I did some research on our topic, the Divine feminine,  female sexuality,  the, sexual desire, part of it; but I wasn’t quite sure about the, divine feminine. What I found out about it is emerging energies as you mentioned the, divine masculine, and, divine feminine, energies which of course we will get into. I have some questions about women exploring their, sexual desires, and I just love the fact that you picked that topic, because you want to really empower women to be their best and to use their, feminine energy, whether it’s for leadership, or whether it’s for their, sexual desire.

I didn’t ask you about your background, but now I think I need to circle back a bit on it. You were born in Islamic revolution of Iran.  I don’t think women have a lot of power in that environment. How did you transfer into this leadership person and being able to be, sexually free,  and talking about, female sexuality? How did you traverse that terrain?

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Anahita – Well, I’m going to tie it back to what you were saying earlier about  leading from the, divine  feminine,  and then embracing my, sexual desires. I actually experienced and believed that we don’t lead from the, feminine, if we are disconnected from our, sexuality. They’re not actually separate; but it’s just like anybody’s story.

Our greatest oppression is usually the greatest opportunity for freedom and empowerment. So, that was my experience, because I was born who I am now – meaning I had a lot of wild, sexual energy.  I had a lot of sort of raw, feminine, life force and I was living in this highly oppressive culture especially oppressive to the, feminine, and to women.

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Female sexuality
Female sexuality

Why men try to control, female sexuality with oppression

There was a significant amount of shame around any expression of the,  feminine or, female sexuality; so it wasn’t just covering your hair. A lot of people don’t understand the extent of the oppression. It’s like sure, I could go out to the street at eight or nine years old and have a gun pointed in my head because my hair covering fell back.

That doesn’t just shame and oppress your femininity; but to this day it’s illegal for women to sing in Iran because their voices are considered so beautiful that they will seduce men into acts of, sex.  There is  plenty of absurdity happening now.

We’re more divided than we’ve ever been and this is basically what happened in Iran because it was a very oppressive culture.  Tehran where I was born and raised is a part of Iran.  I was born during the revolution, which used to be a very cosmopolitan city in the Middle East and it became something very different. It became much more divided and that’s the time that I was growing up. So, when you say how I got there, I mean it started with a desire to experience, sexual freedom,  and then not having oppression when I got to the states. I was 14 years old.

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Myrna – Why do you think that women who are, sexually free, in the States different from the Middle East? I laughed when you talked about the singing voices of women sexually arousing men and because of that they can’t sing! I believe that the man can control himself.

What I mean is in the United States, women walk around half naked. Are you’re thinking that you’re going to stop her from dressing half naked because a man can’t control himself? Totally different ways of approaching a problem here in your country, they’re muzzling the woman in the Middle East; but they should be telling the men that they should look at controlling their, sexual desires.

How, Female Sexuality,  is viewed in the Middle East

Anahita – Here’s the thing in the Middle East, if a woman gets raped,  she’s the one who brought shame onto the family. But understand that consciousness about, female sexuality. The consciousness that creates kind of law or that kind of regime is not absent here in the States. It manifests differently; but it’s the same consciousness.

Myrna – Women are told that exploring their, sexual desires, is bad. When I was growing up, a woman was not allowed to explore her, sexuality. A woman was not allowed to proposition a man, they had to wait around for the man to do all the work and I still have that in my head. So why do you think that women hold back and exploring their, sexual desires? Is it because I said how we were brought up or is there something else from your studies?

Anahita – There’s nothing else. I mean the, divine feminine, is  the greatest gift,  sexuality. When I speak about, female sexuality and the, divine feminine, it’s not about, sexual energy.  It is not the energy to seduce; but the inward facing, sexual energy.  That is an inward facing, eroticism, and  oneness with life. It’s the ability to just be able to taste life more, to be turned on physically by yourself.

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How do you control women? By controlling their, Sexuality

The greatest gift that we have is the, divine feminine,  it is the power of women. How do you control women? You shame their, sexuality,  because it is their greatest power.  Female sexuality, is the thing that makes them givers of life. It is their greatest power. It’s the only place (really the primary place) where men actually feel helpless in the face of women.

Therefore, the business of religion says we’re going to control this because if we control it and put a big cloud of shame over it, they will be in shame and we know shame is a very low frequency emotion.

How to embrace the Divine Feminine and the, Feminine Face of God

Myrna – What is, the divine feminine? Because, I think that’s a big piece here and a lot of people or a lot of my listeners including me don’t understand what it is. Can you explain what, Divine Feminine, is? Then, we can move on “how do women embrace it?” I think you talked from what I learned about it. Will you touch on the opposing, sexual energies? Is that the whole part of the, divine feminine energy?

Anahita – I want to say I wouldn’t be so presumptuous to say that the, divine feminine, needs me to explain what she is. What I mean what is the best way to explain what the, divine feminine,  is? The best way to embrace the, divine feminine,  is to just close our eyes and drop into our heart and connect with the greatest love of the, divine feminine, that you’ve ever experienced. It is the place of absolute faith, absolute trust, absolute surrender;  thy will be done.

That level of home with the, divine feminine, is a feeling that it is coming from a great mother. That it is a maternal feeling that it has that much love and permission and holding and allowing for you to be exactly as you are. So that it’s kind of like a way to taste her a little and that was my experience of her. It’s just that she, the divine feminine, had a lot more permission from me than the, divine masculine,  male,  God,  that my religion had introduced to me and there was not quite as much permission. When I found the,  feminine face of God, there was a lot more.

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The Divine feminine vs Mother Earth

Myrna – I love that. So is, the divine feminine, different from, mother earth, or is the same thing?

Anahita –  Well that’s the thing. It’s the same energy expressing in different ways. Another way to really come face to face with it is during child birth. If you’ve ever had the honor of giving birth or being in a room when a human being is born that divine mother is present there.

Myrna – When you were talking, that’s where I went. Actually, I mean even though I knew what it’s like to be in the presence of the Holy Spirit and be in that space, when you talked about, the feminine face of God, and, mother earth, on top of it. I went into my memory of giving birth as a mom.  You know how you feel about your children. I have two children, so it’s a divine mother.

I felt I understand that was a very good explanation. So why do you think when a woman embraces her, sexual desires, or embraces the, divine feminine, that it becomes a source of her power. Why does it become the source of our power?

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Divine Feminine conclusion

Anahita – My program “Beauty Unleashed” is a six month transformational program. It’s me putting together everything from  25-30 years of study, about 15 years of teaching and Facilitating Tantric sex and yoga and all of it. What I noticed was, as I was working with clients mostly privately, was that what the women who had the greatest success was becoming fully unapologetic. They were coming out of the magic closet and reclaiming their magical gifts, letting go of the fear of being ostracized or burned at the stake,  all of those shame fears.

Watch “Anahita My Tedx Talk” and stay in communication by Signing up for something free.

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Additional Resources

The Difference Between A Queen and A Princess

Gina DeVee Audacity to be Queen

The difference between a, princess, and a, queen, is that the, princess, is waiting on someone to come and save while the, queen, has the emotional maturity to know that she has to save herself and her people.

In this episode, Gina DeVee, author of the, Audacity to Be Queen, makes reference to, Queen Esther, in the bible story of how she used her influence with the King to save her people the Jews.  She didn’t wait on a prince to save her, she learnt how  to communicate with the King

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Bio

Gina went from being a broke psychologist to a multi-million dollar women’s empowerment and lifestyle brand with Divine Living. She has dedicated her career to helping women connect spiritually, start profitable businesses, and create wealth from a feminine perspective. Some of those women include Jen Sincero, who (fun fact!) dedicated her book on money to Gina.

Her first book, The Audacity to be Queen, consolidates over 20 years of experience in transforming women’s lives through the deep spiritual and feminine wisdom of Queenhood.

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The Princess Mentality

The, princess mentality, is tough for us women, because we’re read stories from a very young age and most the impressionable time about being a, princess. And how someone else is going to come save us that we will live happily ever after.

So, for us to get out of the, princess mentality, and develop the emotional maturity and the wisdom that a, queen, has, that life isn’t perfect. Life isn’t fair. It doesn’t mean it’s horrible, though. either. It’s just the way it is.

Gina: I grew up Christian and my book is not overtly Christian, but it is based on the, book of Esther, in the Bible. Jews know the story from the Bible, and for everyone else, it’s kind of a Cinderella story, basically, Esther, was the most unlikely candidate to become the, Queen, of Persia.

I was on a plane one day and reading the Bible. I happened to be reading the book of, Esther, that day, and it was the first time that it really leapt off the page. And I was like, this isn’t just Esther’s story. This is the story of every woman, on some level, maybe symbolically.  We’ve all been orphaned, exiled, taken out of our comfort zone, and really had been prepared for such a time as this. And I just really saw it almost as the heroine’s journey of us all and started doing retreats and workshops on it. So really, the substance of my work is about being the, Queen, based on the character of, Esther’s story.

Myrna: You okay, so we got that from, Queen Esther. I was thinking you meant when a man calls his woman his, Queen.

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Queen Esther saves the Jews

Gina: I go through a lot more in chapter four in my book, so if anyone wants the cool, Queen Esther, story from when I also realized is, you know, Esther, was under an enormous amount of pressure, she had to risk her life. The king didn’t know he had married a Jew, and so she had to reveal who she was, she could have gotten killed. And even under all these pressures, she maintains what the Scriptures say a pleasing disposition, aka positive.

Well, I’m Sicilian, so I can be kind of fiery. One of the things that I do in the book, I talk about the, archetype of Queen, really being our highest self. And then there’s all these other, archetypes, that can show up along the way. And as you pointed out, the, Bitch, is one of them. I think that what happens is I wrote about this in chapter three, growing up to feel safe.  None of us grew up in functional families.

Let’s just be clear, there is a certain level of dysfunction in families, the way society set things up, we took either two routes, we took compliance, be the, good girl, do everything right, follow the rules, you know, or defiance. Either or both of them, keep us out of our true self. And so, what I found for myself is I lived so long as a perfect and Little Miss good girl, I was so compliant.

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The bitch way of communicating

That when I was done with being the, good girl, I did the pendulum swing into defiance. And it was because I still didn’t really feel like I had power. So, I would let these, bitchy comments, kind of blow out of my mouth when I was under stress or feeling cornered, because I didn’t know how to be an alliance. And so that’s one of the things that I teach in my book is about how we can really speak the truth in love. You don’t have to be a doormat; you don’t have to not have boundaries. And you don’t have to be this, bitch, about it either.

Myrna; All right, so I know exactly what you’re talking about. Because people are always talking to me about, tonality, where you know, it comes across very aggressive when I say something, but I don’t know how not to sound, bitchy, if I’m annoyed.  But it doesn’t mean that I want to be a, bitch, it’s just my direct way of communicating. So, what you’re saying is that women can, say what they want to say that’s on their mind, but say, in a queenly way, is that what you’re saying?

Gina: Yes, exactly. You know, speaking the truth without love. It’s just brutal honesty. So, when you when you come from a place of love, you consider your needs, your desires, what it is that you’re looking to communicate and you deeply consider the other person also. And so, when you when you come from this place, what you’re saying might not be popular, it might not even be well received, but you will feel better about yourself because you will know that to the best of your ability you actually set up a win-win situation.

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The 4 communication Archetypes

Myrna: Okay, so that’s basically how you define a, bitch mode of communication.  So that’s probably a good segue to talk about. The, archetypes, right. You said there’s four, archetypes:

  • The Princess
  • The martyr,
  • The saboteur
  • and the Queen.

So, explain, these, archetypes, and maybe give us an example of the, communication, in each them.

Gina: Sure, those are four I do write about many, many more in the book, “The Audacity to be Queen” but I think that we all can see ourselves when we are we self-sabotaging? When we are a, martyr.

Gina: The, princess mentality, is tough for us women, because we’re read stories from a very young age and most the impressionable time about being a, princess. And how someone else is going to come save us that we will live happily ever after.  So, Princesses, think that there is this happily ever after in this perfect scenario and then becomes very confused and very distraught when it doesn’t happen and real life shows up.

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The language of a Queen

Myrna: One of the things I loved about, Queen Esther’s, story is she was pushed into this position, you know, to see to save her people. And she embraced it. I loved the fact that she knew how to talk to the king, right? She knew how to ask the King for what she wanted. I wrote that down her strategy for when I want to request anything from my husband.  Queen Esther, says “if it pleases Your Highness” That is definitely, Queen, language.

I found that story very amazing that, Queen Esther, learned how to talk to her husband to get what she wanted. A lot of people, a lot of women, don’t want to give the man the respect in order to get what they want from him. So yeah, the, Queen, archetype is knowing how to communicate like a, queen.

All right so our topic today is, how can women cure to disease to please.  Let’s talk about the, desire to please, and the, disease to please, and then how you go about teaching women to cure it?

Gina: So, codependency is really what we’re talking about here. It’s when we are just operating to get other people’s approval, love, admiration. And it’s not really a preference. It’s like when I was really codependent it’s like, it’s what I needed to feel safe in the world. And so, I was always monitoring what does someone else want? What do I need to say that’s going to make them happy, or it’s going to make them like me, or it’s going to be acceptable to them?

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The disease to please

And so, too, oftentimes, modern day women are just terrified of what other people are going to think about them or what other people are going to say, and it stops them from being in the relationship they want to be in or starting the business they want to start or being invisible online. Or speaking their truth. Like there’s so much that the, disease to please, holds back someone’s truth, it’s going to keep them from their destiny.

So, really healing codependency and curing that so to speak in our lives, it’s one of the most courageous journeys a woman could be on, to stop needing other people’s permission or approval. And, you know, the more you give yourself permission, the more you approve of yourself, is going to be the way that you’re going to attract people who feel similarly and it’s the more freedom.  It’s the only way you’re going to live a free life.

Myrna: Women always feel you know, when they have the, disease to please, is that they always feel being authentic and understanding there, personal power, is the way to not have to feel that you’d like to please whether it’s your children, whether it’s your man, it’s your boss, you know, wherever you feel that you the, desire to please, in order for you to get attention.

You talked about the feminine perspective. How are you differentiating that in being a, Queen?

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

The Feminine perspective of Queen

Gina: Yes, well, one of the reasons why I love the, archetype of Queen, is because she’s not all feminine. She’s not a goddess. She is not a mermaid waiting for her, prince, to come save her. And she’s not all like, masculine, like I’m going to take the bull by the horns and I’m going to hustle and have massive action. The, Queen, is not like the, Tony Robbins, or Gary Vaynerchuk way of being in the world are like that empowered and masculine. The, Queen, has both male and female energy, there is masculine and feminine energy.

It’s just the western world is obsessed, addicted really to all things masculine. So, the difference is, masculine energy, which is all things logical, practical, predictable, linear, it’s about action. It’s about thinking. Those are all these masculine traits and ultimately, masculinity is about giving.

And then, femininity is about the, spiritual, the creative, the playful, the passionate, the nonlinear.  It’s a circle, it’s about feeling not thinking, it’s about being not taking action. And ultimately, femininity, is about receiving.

All of us have seen people in positions of power, whether they’re male or female, be the ones giving is in control, you know, initiating, taking that action so that’s what we have thought of when we think of success, and it’s just a different age and a different time and particularly women need to get better at receiving a compliment, receiving well exceeded attention. Receiving good in your life and let him know there’s a time play and to be creative and relax, rather than always working, being productive, being effective, all that kind of stuff. So, you know, really getting clear that there is, masculine energy, and there is, feminine energy.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Masculine and feminine energy

Myrna: that’s a good one because you’re right, women have a problem receiving. They have the, disease to please, because they always want to give and when it’s time to receive, they don’t know how to receive. I tell my daughter all the time, the same thing. We’ve got to learn how to receive.

Gina: So, no matter what you’re taught, most of us have been taught, money, doesn’t grow on trees. You have to work if you want more, money, you have to work harder. And it’s about work all the time. And make sure you save up for a down payment for a home and save, money, for retirement and all this logical linear stuff. And the, feminine energy, way is different.

That’s all the, masculine energy, and there’s nothing inherently wrong with it. It’s like a painting of one color. It’s one dimensional and there’s just other colors to choose from also. So, it’s not about not being, masculine, but it’s about incorporating the, feminine. So, the, feminine, way it’s going to be creative.

The, feminine, is like, do I even want to own my home? Maybe I would rather rent my home and have, money, to travel because that’s part of my value system. Or maybe it’s actually a smarter for me to take the, money, that I would put into a house was only going to make X amount over X number of years and put it into a different kind of investment that maybe didn’t exist when our parents or grandparents told us save for a down payment for a house or real estate.

You know, and so that’s the, feminine, approach of being more creative or spiritually guided or not so logical and linear but being circular and looking at other possibilities that might even be smarter.

Transform your Mind Podcast Index
Transform your Mind Podcast Index

Feminine energy is creative

Myrna: Yeah, I like the creative approach to this definitely right. Feminine energy, is definitely creative. We were built to create. So that is that is definitely, feminine energy. Yeah, so I like that. All right, so yeah, so is there anything else that you want to share that I didn’t ask you?

Gina: I think the thing to really keep in mind especially right now for everyone, I don’t know anyone that’s not reconsidering their life with everything that we’ve all been through. Everyone’s asking what am I doing with my life and you know reevaluating is this even where I want to live?  Is this the relationship I want to be in?  Is this the job I want? If you have a business, is this the way I want to be doing business?

I really do invite everyone to deeply explore what else is possible because the truth is, we’re not going back to the way it was before the pandemic. That world is an era and consciousness that is done and over. So, a new world opens up, it’s about new and expansion and expression and creative possibility.

So, if you’re yearning for something more, a better life, lean into that. If there’s desires that you used to put off and said, well, I’ll do that later when the kids go to college, or when I retire, when there’s enough time or money left over. What if you started with your desires, what if you prioritize yourself? What if you said no, what if you set a boundary when everyone’s used to you being so available?

Book Audacity to be Queen
Book Audacity to be Queen

The Audacity to be Queen

Myrna: How does everything that you teach circle back to being a, queen?

Gina: Yes. So, the book “The Audacity to be Queen” starts out about how the epic life is possible. Because we got to get back into dreaming. We got to get to especially as adults, we’ve gotten a lot of things knocked out of us our self-confidence, things haven’t worked out.  And it can be really tempting to just sit on the sidelines, take it easy, play small, stay safe, you know, whatever that is, so we got to get back into dreaming event.

And then chapter two is on, spirituality, is your superpower. I’m too old to be working that hard anymore. It’s is time for us to really let Spirit and God come in and open us up for miracles, and we got to open up for big opportunities. The way that the Bible talks about my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts are higher.

They say you can work hard, but not work smart. When you get the call of God in your plans and whatever, then you don’t have to do it. And then, when things don’t go your way, like being able to rely on, spirituality, first of all, that’s where faith comes in.  And then we get into really exploring much more deeply the difference between, masculine energy, and, feminine energy, and what it actually means to be, feminine. It’s not just about lipstick and a manicure. It’s a whole skill set and way of being in the world.

And then in chapter four talks about like the ultimate, Queen, and how for all of us, this is such a time to be a, Queen. We have been prepared to, be of service to our people. So that’s the real foundation, we’re all meant to be queen and we’re in our lives, like what happened? Why are we not swinging? So, we got to look at some of the unconscious thoughts and beliefs about, self-sabotage, and the, disease to please, and the comparison trap and all of the lack of mind training that most of us have not had. And there’s a lot of tools and exercises in the book that really teach us the mind training.

https://youtu.be/Syt_tDDWbds

Additional Resources

Tantric Sex: How to Use Tantra Energy during Sex

How to Heal Your Brokenness

How to Heal Brokenness

My pastor taught a sermon on, brokenness, a few months back, and he made the analogy of a, broken, vase.  He said that a, broken, or cracked vase cannot hold any content, everything leaks out. We must heal our, brokenness if we are going to hold love, self-esteem, self-worth, or confidence.

Certified Life coach, Myrna Young and registered social worker, Arifah Yusaf discuss, How to Heal your Brokenness,

The LORD is near to the, broken hearted, And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

 

In this blog and podcast here are some of the mental health topics we will be discussing every week.  We want to discuss real life issues and struggles of the, minority woman:

Brokenness
Brokenness

Lets start with, How to Heal your Brokenness,

My pastor taught a sermon on, brokenness, a few months back, and he made the analogy of a, broken, vase.  He said that a, broken, or cracked vase cannot hold any content, everything leaks out.  That means that if you are, broken hearted,

  • you cannot hold love,
  • you cannot hold appreciation,
  • you cannot hold compliments,
  • you are incapable of receiving and holding anything.

So it is very important for us to find our cracks and mend them.  As, minority women, most of us have experienced some, brokenness, in our lives.

Here are the top 3 reasons for, Brokenness:

  1. Devalued and rejected by others
  2. Abandoned by our parents
  3. Feelings of not being good enough because we have lack.

 How do we Heal, brokenness?

I know in our practice of social work and in psychology, a lot of clinical professionals, look at the research study around ACES which is our first childhood experiences.

That study basically states that childhood experiences before the age of 18, whether that be witnessing abuse or being abused themselves, living in poverty or just going through traumatic events; Those experiences impact their, brokenness, as they grow up into adulthood.  It may impact how they maneuver through success or how they view themselves as  failures.

These experience are also linked to risky health behaviors, chronic health conditions, low life potential and even early death.

Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Myrna Young, Life Coach, I agree that risky behaviors from, brokenness, usually means an absence of self-love and that can definitely lead to early death.

I am going to niche down in our conversation today to address women of color and, minority women, because that’s who we are.

As women we can be, broken, both in our childhood and by narcissistic men in our adult lives, who have rejected us or devalued us.

Our, brokenness, becomes compared with the, broken hearted.   Also when we experience, brokenness, as children those experiences can leads us to get into unhealthy relationships.    Healing our, brokenness,  prevents us from repeating this pattern of unhealthy relationships that would leave us, broken hearted.

It takes work to heal our cracks.  The first step in coaching is to identify how you became, broken, and then replace your subconscious programming with a new program similar to writing over a CD disk.

 

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

How to heal the, Broken Hearted

  1. Acknowledge that you are, broken
  2. Follow the pain – pay attention to where it hurts
  3. Trust outside eyes. Have close trusted friends to tell you what they see. This can also be a, life coach, who can uncover your blind spots.
  4. Allow love to mold you like the potter molds clay.
  5. Pray and meditate on the fruits of the spirit, peace, joy, love

Here is a story on, How we become broken, and the process of healing.

Arifah – In my years of practice, I obviously had a lot of opportunities to engage young people who have expressed feeling, broken, based on their lived experiences or their adverse childhood experiences.  As we talked about earlier in the segment, those experiences impact how they view themselves,  how they show up in relationships, in their place within society or their environments.

I recall speaking with this young woman who shared witnessing domestic abuse at home.  She actually found her mother’s body when she came home from school one day. She was then placed into the foster care system.  At 18 years old having nowhere to go, she was placed into a shelter.  I remember her telling me that she really struggled with her identity and her self-esteem.  She harbored resentment towards her family because nobody had come to claim her in Foster care which magnified her, brokenness.

In her late teens she became pregnant and wanted to connect with her family; because she was starting to feel isolated and she wanted her child to know more about her family history. But she faced rejection once more. She decided that it was all up to her, to make a difference in her child’s life.

She then stared setting small goals for herself and accomplishing them.  That started building her self-esteem until she recovered from her, brokenness. She became more engaged in her community and connected with other single mothers. She stopped blaming others or comparing herself to others and continued her healing process.

She decided to develop a plan with a network of positive healthy people. Eventually  she stopped defining herself as, broken, because she realized that she really could make a difference in the life of her child. It was all up to her, no one else.  Like the analogy of the broken vase, she couldn’t hold self-esteem, or self-worth, as a broken vessel, everything leaked out. When she became whole everything stayed in.  That is, how to heal your brokenness,

Free Download: Out of the Snares, How to Heal your Brokenness
Out of the Snares

As a gift to my radio and podcast audience and you my Blog readers, I want to give you a FREE COPY of my book Out of the Snares, a story of hope and encouragement.

My purpose in writing this book was to share with my readers the power of intention as the energy in my life. This book is my testimony on how I overcame my, brokenness.

All my life I have been called lucky; but there is no such thing as luck just positive energy and preparation.

As women we sometimes fail because we are always working; but not On their lives. We instead work in our lives. To succeed your commitment to your own personal growth must parallel your commitment to building remarkable lives for yourself and your children.

After you read my book and become inspired by my story of success after starting out with nothing and healing my, brokenness, I would like to Help you get off the starting block with the most unbelievable coaching offer ever made!

If you are interested in doing something remarkable with your life and escape the Snares of failure from, broken relationships, broken marriages,  by moving your dreams from your head into your hands, then download your FREE book and purchase my coaching package.

You will never get a better chance to invest in you. I believe that you are worth it. Don’t you?

To reach out to Arifah Yusaf at Lifted by Purpose head over to her web site https://liftedbypurpose.com/

Remember to download and subscribe on your favorite podcast player, iTunes, Spotify, Soundcloud, Google Play, iHeart radio

Additional Resources:

The Weight of the Cape: Why Am I Afraid to be Broken?

https://myhelps.us/personal-development-podcast/

https://blog.myhelps.us/become-life-coach/

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-become-lifted-by-your-purpose/

Kevin Samuels: Black Women Over 35 Are Low Value

Black Women Over 35

The late, Kevin Samuels, controversially said that, Black women, over 35 cannot get a man because any, high value man, could get a younger woman.

The gist of his message was that women over 35 who are single with children are like used cars. Top quality men don’t want them since they they are, low value, and the, high value man, have options and they exercise these options for younger women with no children and baby daddy drama.

Download the podcast here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/10885010-are-women-over-35-low-value.mp3?download=true

The 35 and Single Black Women Dilemma

So here in lies the dilemma.  Even though women were calling, Kevin Samuels, a scum bag, he had a huge following of men because they knew he was talking truth. These so called, high value men, were willing to rip into a man of God Dr.  Jamal Bryant, senior pastor at New Birth in Atlanta, in defense of, Kevin  Samuels.

It is true that, black women, over 35 are looking for the, high value man, and  men over 35 are looking for younger women? How do we know this is true? The reason I know this is true is because everyone is looking and nobody is finding love, because love is not about hair, booty, breasts or skin color. Love is about chemistry, it is an energy.

So, ladies my, dating advice,  to you is you must age like fine wine, you have much more to offer a man and you need to let him see this. You have experience.

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

Dating Advice for Black Women

Remember that relationship you walked out of in your 20ths, now you realize that it was the best relationship you ever had. There is a lesson in every failure.

So now that you are 35+ and single; what have you learned about men? What I have learned is that the, high value man, would sleep with the 35+, black woman, with the good hair and the booty, but they look for more in the woman they marry.

So, while you are sitting on the shelf, make yourself ready for your husband. You have to become,  wife material.

6 ways to become wife material
  • Learn to speak on a variety of topics, men are no longer attracted to the dumb pretty woman anymore.
  • Learn the rules of basketball and football.  Most men like sports so, you must learn to like them as well, so he doesn’t have to go out with the boys to watch the game. He could watch it with his woman.
  • Learn to cook dinner for two. A man wants to marry a woman who can cook.
  • Get a gym membership, men like to hold muscles not fat.
  • Learn to control your tongue, sometimes silence is the best answer.
  • Learn to build up a man and not tear him down. Life and death are in the tongue, speak life into your man. Encourage him, listen to him, support him.
Transform your Mind TuneIn Radio
TuneIn Radio

Kevin Samuels YouTube Videos

I listened to, Kevin Samuels, most famous video. This video had 3M views and over 3K comments when I watched it months ago! Kevin Samuels, was speaking to a woman who was 35 had a 13-year-old son and was making 6 figures. She said she wanted a, high value man, who made 6 figures because when she dates men below her pay grade, she gets idiots.

Kevin Samuels, asked her from a scale of 1 to 10 where would she fall and she said 6. He then told her that, high value men, who make 6 figures are in the top 10% of all men and have options.  They are not looking for an average, black woman,  35+ with a 13-year-old son, he called her a, low value woman.

He is correct, they are not looking for you, but if you age like fine wine and prepare yourself while you’re fermenting, they will take a sip of you and become intoxicated.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify

Black women prepare yourself to become a high value woman

The other thing I have learned is it may have been a long time since you have been held by a man and you can’t wait to jump into bed; don’t do it. A man must respect the woman he marries. Don’t sleep with him until he calls you his girlfriend and you are sure he is not married!

There is a dilemma for, black women, over 35 who are single with children, but finding love is not impossible. I got married at 46 with a 16-year-old daughter. The chemistry was right and I was prepared. So don’t let anyone tell you, you are a, low value woman, and that you are like a used car. Antiques cars are more valuable than new cars. You have wisdom, skills, and know how to treat and keep a man.

Conclusion

Hope this helps someone.

You have been listening to 5 mins with coach Myrna, I want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach, for inspiration throughout the week.  Until next time Namaste

 

How to Apply The Law of Divine Oneness To Your Life

law of divine oneness

We are extensions of source energy also called God or the Universe. The, Law of Divine Oneness, says we are all one with the, Universe. You may have heard the statement. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.  We are made up of a body, soul and spirit.

We came into this physical body with a purpose, and that is to grow and evolve. So we embarked on this game. We can call it the, game of life,  or we can call it the matrix!
We are living in a, matrix! And just like the, matrix, there are rules in how you play the game.

The Rules of the Law of Divine Oneness

The rules are the, laws of the Universe. The first Law we will discuss is, The Law of Divine Oneness.
If you are a bible scholar you will recognize lots of parallels between the, laws of the Universe, and the teachings of, Jesus.
Jesus, came into his physical body with the awareness that he was a subset of God or God incarnate in the flesh.  He understood, The Law of Divine Oneness.

We are also a subset of God, that is why man can command diseases to leave the body and perform the same miracles, Jesus, did in the earth. Jesus, most profound scripture tells us

“If we have the faith as small as a mustard seed, we can command the mountain to move into the sea.”

I bet you have never seen anyone do that in the natural, but in the, matrix, you can! In Higher consciousness you can. I have heard of monks elevating their bodies and travelling from one place to another.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Universal Law, The Law of Divine Oneness

The Law of Divine Oneness, means that we are all connected to one source. Everything we do effects the collective consciousness of the entire, universe.
That is why when we contribute to others and in some way make their lives better, it gives us the highest joy. The bible teaches that it is better to give than to receive and that is because when we give, when we share what we have, it makes us feel good.
That is also why the word, Namaste, is so powerful. It means I see the divine in you. Put another way is, I see God’s light in you. We are all God’s children.

We all originated from one energy, called the source. The Law of Divine Oneness, Everything in this Universe is made up of energy. The bed you sleep in, the TV you watch, the rocks in your garden, the car you drive and most importantly your thoughts. This energy is vibrating in circular patterns.
Visualize a Ferris wheel. You start off at the bottom and circle to the top and then you are back to where you started. You can get off or you can continue circling in a continuous loop. This is the same as energy. It is circling and whatever we send out is what we will get back.

Even though every object or thing is made up of energy, this energy is vibrating at different frequencies for each thing or object. Your positive thoughts for instance are vibrating at the highest frequency, while your negative thoughts are vibrating at a lower frequency. Just like light envelops darkness, your positive feelings and emotions can eat up your negativity and bad feelings. So always look for the higher vibrations of positive thoughts and feelings.
Now we can take this further. If you attach the energy of emotion to your thoughts, it multiplies your energy. This leads to a quicker harvest or manifestation. Think of it as a super charged Ferris wheel spinning faster and faster!
Your emotions are a good indicator of the frequency you are vibrating. Learn to pay attention to your feelings, they are indications of what you are manifesting either consciously or unconsciously.
Whenever you feel depression, anxiety or trepidation, it is telling you that you are going in the opposite direction to your destiny.

Soundcloud Transform your mind podcast
Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Conclusion Law of Divine Oneness

Everything that exists seen and unseen are connected to each other, inseparable from each other to a field of, divine oneness.  Divine all knowing, the matrix, pure consciousness or universal mind energy, sometimes also known as Life Force or God.  Everything is one.

Increasing awareness of this law will increase our awareness of God and awareness of being connected to everything.  It is important for us as a human race to start realizing and understand this law.  As we do, we will realize that what we think of each other should only for good.  As we think of the good in others, they will in turn think of the good in you.  It is essential that the thoughts, feeling and actions be for good, for we “reap what we sow”.

As you gain a fuller understanding of the laws, you will see how they are all related and overlap each other and govern the world we live in.

Everything consists of, and exists as energy. Your subatomic particles aren’t fixed, in fact, particles may be flowing into and out of you now from: this page, the sky, the floor, your best friend and your worst enemy. In other words, there is no separation. How would you behave if you really knew that you were not separate from life, your friends, colleagues and every being that has ever existed? The answer is this – probably differently.

Today we discussed the first Law of the Universe, The Law of Divine Oneness . Tune in next week when I will teach on the second, Law of the Universe, for success – The law of vibration!
Until next time, Namaste

More links and resources:

https://youtu.be/EZd6vUd_APE

https://blog.myhelps.us/how-use-law-of-attraction-thrive/
https://blog.myhelps.us/the-power-of-the-seed-are-you-eating-your-seed-a-spiritual-life-and-leadership-blog/
https://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/display/librarydisplay.cgi?lid=784
https://lawsoftheuniverse.weebly.com/divine-oneness.html

How To Conquer The 5 Most Common Causes of Failure

Five common causes of failure

Failure, leaves clues so a coach can recognize your, failure symptoms. Most of us run on auto pilot. Science shows that 95% of humans operate on a subconscious level, and only 5% of us are aware and conscious of our daily actions. One of the reasons coaching is so successful is that it allows you to “know thyself” a little better by revealing your, blind spots, or areas of, unconscious patterns, including why we fail.

Most of us are unable to clearly state our abilities. We overestimate them, we underestimate them, we become complacent; we allow them to decay. Occasionally we are unaware that they exist. It is important you recognize your, failure symptoms

Download the podcast here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11197352-how-to-conquer-the-5-most-common-causes-of-failure.mp3?download=true

Here are the 5 most common causes of failure

1: The most common cause of, failure, is to, blame, others.  Don’t blame me, Victims, have no power, when you, blame, others for your, failure in life, you are saying that you have no power.

It is said that the difference between witchcraft and medicine is that when a man falls sick, witchcraft makes him ask ” who did this to me” medicine makes him ask “what did this to me”.

When we, blame, others for our, failures, we do not recognize that no one has the power to make us fail, you must accept responsibility for your part and learn from it.

Do you Blame Yourself?

2: The second cause of, failure, is the tendency to, blame oneself. We tell ourselves things like “why was I such a fool, what an easy mark I am, why do I always put my foot in my mouth etc.” For example, your marriage fails and you, blame yourself, for choosing the man in the first place. You, blame yourself, for not recognizing the red flags.

How to stop self blame:  – Instead of, blaming yourself, you should tell yourself that you did your best with the information you had at the time and that it takes 2 to make a marriage work. Blaming yourself plants deep feelings of inferiority and insecurity which will later strike up like weeds to dominate the garden of your mind. Excessive, self-blame, opens the door to guilt. Self-blame, also closes the door to, self-development.

How to set goals

3: The 3rd cause of, failure, has to do with, setting goals. Having no goals or having low goals. Dr William Menninger says “a fellow must know where he wants to go, if he is going to get anywhere.”

No goals are bad enough, but, low goals, are worse. Like, setting goals, to get the highest number on video games. That is an example of a, low goal.

Happiness is the pursuit of a goal or purpose, if you have, no goals, then you are a, failure.

How to set goals: choosing the wrong goal

4: The 4th common, cause of failure, is choosing the, wrong goal. Imagine that you have the, goal, to become a social worker, you graduated with your Bachelor’s Degree and your Master’s Degree and then worked for 20 years as a social worker; but you get to your 50’s and realize that what you really wanted to be was a politician and work for the citizens of your country to make policies than benefit all. After reaching the fifth nor 6th decade it is too late to turn back. That is why it is a good idea to understand your passions and listen to your heart early in life to determine the direction you should go.

Taking a short cut

5: The 5th, failure symptom, I want to leave you with today  – is taking a, short cut.

An electric current will follow the line of least resistance; but a bulb glows because there is resistance.

Taking the short cut, many of us choose the shortest, easiest quickest way to success, only to discover that success was illusory; the bulb did not glow. No conquest can be achieved without hard work– no conquest can give true pleasure if it has not required hard work.

My grandmother would say there are, no short cuts in life, when you take the path of lease resistant you usually find yourself at the wrong destination and have to start all over.

https://youtu.be/UDZvuXqZDQ0

Conclusion

These are the 5 most common, causes of failure, if you become conscious of them then you can recognize them when they show up and make a better choice.

  • Never blame anyone for your life, you are in control.
  • Do not blame yourself, we were not given a manual at birth, we do as best as we can with the information we have.
  • Goal setting – Happiness is working towards a goal, set goals and work towards them.
  • Check in with yourself thorough out your life to see if you are getting any fulfillment from your career, so you won’t get to your 50’s and find out that you chose the wrong path.
  • Finally, don’t take the, short cut, they rarely get you there faster.

Thanks for turning in to this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Additional Resources

5 Powerful Strategies to Achieve Any Goal

The Link Between Narcissism and Mass Shootings

Narcissism social media and mass shootings

Lena Derhally, author of the Facebook Narcissist shares what is, narcissism, what is the difference between,  narcissists, psychopaths, and other personality disorders. Lena shares her research on why, narcissists, commit, mass shootings, and why they are using, social media, to get attention.

Download the podcast here 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11166554-exploring-the-relationship-between-narcissism-social-media-and-mass-shootings.mp3?download=true

Bio

Lena Derhallyis a licensed psychotherapist certified in Imago Relationship Therapy. She was formerly a clinical instructor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the George Washington School of Medicine, where she mentored medical students. Lena is passionate about antiwar movements and social justice, and Author of the Book The Facebook Narcissist A comprehensive guide for understanding how narcissism on social media impacts our mental health, how to protect ourselves and our children from those affects as well as from narcissists, and how to use social media more mindfully. 

Book The Facebook Narcissist
Book The Facebook Narcissist

Myrna: How did you transition from a psychotherapist into behavioral sciences? Do you have a personal story?

Lena: I got really interested in, narcissism criminology, when they called it, personality disorders. Because when I was in my 20s, I was in a relationship with a, narcissist. So that was very verbally emotionally abusive, and it really informed my career path and I’m in a private practice now. But what I really wanted to do.  I used to work with cancer patients and I work with mentally ill homeless people. And then I transitioned to working in couples work, but part of what I do with couples and individuals is I help them identify red flags and, abusive relationships.

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Narcissistic abusive relationships

And it’s always been a passion of mine, especially with women of course. Men can be in, abusive relationships, but really to help women recognize that.  There’s a lot of, abusive relationships, out there. I think more than that even reported, and so it’s really just been a passion of mine, just to help people and not just in, relationships, as we move to the topic of, mass shooting, for media narcissism. My first book was a true crime, about a family annihilator who murdered his pregnant wife and toddler daughter so he could be with another woman.

And that book was also to sort of break down for people because he showed no warning. They really wanted to break it down. So, people sort of see well how does something like this happen? How does somebody have this mask on for so long and then take it off and become really evil? I sort of explore these, narcissistic, people in hopes that we can educate people because I think protecting ourselves from these toxic people is one of the fundamental skills of life especially for younger people.

Myrna: I absolutely love this topic. And it’s really interesting, but I became psychological linked to, narcissism, after reading a book called “The Psychopath Next Door.” And that story resonated with me. I read that maybe even like 20 years ago, but I always resonate with that story of a how a, psychopath, and, narcissism.

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Difference between a narcissist and a psychopath

I’m not even sure what the difference is. Between the two them, but how they can just plan to destroy you. Like just if you said this gentleman that killed his pregnant wife and, and child because he wanted something else and to me, that’s the link for the, narcissism, and, psychopaths, because they can destroy you without a conscience without a thought.

Just so that maybe they can get to the other side or whatever. So, I have I have actually loved this topic. I don’t do enough of them on the show, but I talk to people every day about, narcissism, and I’m glad that you as you said, a lot of people are these, relationships. And I want to say beautiful, but it’s not really beautiful.

I want to say the amazing thing about these people. Is that oh you know, we’re gonna get into the basic, narcissist, and the, mass shooters. But the, narcissist, that I know that I’ve heard about or read about who charming, they’re beautiful, they’re the life of the party and you would not yes, yeah, yeah. Do you want?

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One of the important things you brought up is that there’s a common theme with, narcissist sociopath, psychopath, and that’s low to no empathy and that is working with the ability to destroy other important content just to get ahead. Even if it’s just throwing someone under the bus at work. It doesn’t have to be a murderer, but it’s just the, lack of conscience, no empathy, and they don’t feel remorse and I think it’s really hard for people.

I call quote unquote, normal people or people who are not who don’t have these, antisocial traits. to even understand that somebody can’t feel remorse or empathy. But that’s again, that’s why we’re talking about this is because you don’t you want to cut those people off. You don’t want to have anything to do with self-protection.

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iHeart Radio

The connection between mass shooting and social media

Myrna: So right off the bat, I want to get into the, social media, stuff so I’m questions I have here is what is the connection between, mass shootings, and social media breaks it down for us?

Lena: It’s a great question, and there’s a lot of connections. I’m gonna break them down. One, you know, the social media culture that we have today especially, we’re looking at these, mass shooters, they’re getting younger, they’re getting deadlier, and 2022 alone, almost all of them are under the age of 22. So, one of the things they’re very much inundated and enmeshed in the, social media culture. In fact, I found there’s a counterterrorism expert is John Cohen. Who said almost every, mass shooting, attack in the past few years, was inspired by online communities and threats were made online as well.

So, one social media is inspired by the, mass shooting, and all of us some of the examples unfortunately, we’re still fresh from some of the most prolific, mass shootings, we’ve seen between revolving buffalo, just to name a few. And so, we’ll start you know, with Buffalo all the evidence we have.

I don’t use their name because again, today with social media what they’re interested in is notoriety and, and so this is why we’re seeing them live streaming, mass shooting, you know, they don’t cover their face, they go in there with a death wish they know that maybe they’re going to commit suicide or they’re gonna get killed, but they want me talking about them and social media.

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What is narcissism

It’s what, narcissism, is all about attention seeking, grandiosity and title that they think they’re better than other people and, and the, lack of empathy. And so, social media, has given people with this wish to flip their misery and hatred and rage on other people that audiences really want the audience. And so that’s really dangerous.

But he was also found media people and one of the things I researched in my book was this concept of, white supremacist, radicalizing young men online and one of the ways they do this is they start off a little bit vague. They have the team so they show that the spicy humor, but they’re actually very effective, and they’re, racist.

When we’re talking about really serious issues like, racism, we should just be able to say anything about any group of people cuz it’s a joke, you know, so that’s the way they start. You try to break these socially isolated, lonely young men who have other kinds of issues going on. And then now they have the community on the dark web.

Myrna: It’s almost like the drug dealers recruiting lonely people in the olden days.

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The narcissist in the online community

Lena: So, imagine now the network’s they have, it’s almost like international. So, a lot of the times these people in these networks are egging them on to do these kinds of things. And so now here they are, or they want to impact the community.

They want the sort of badge of honor. I had this quote from the shooter from Buffalo, who, you know, we have the information that I think that he was radicalized online.  I believe it’s 2021, He wrote, it’s time to stop shit posting it’s time to make a real life effort. I will carry out an attack. He said this is December 2021. So, again, I’m seeing these killers that are putting their attention on, social media.

Myrna: Why do you think the Buffalo shooter targeted the Black community? How did, racism, get into, mass shooting?

Lena: So if you think about something like, racism, and, narcissism; narcissism is an entitlement, exploitation and, lack of empathy. There’s a hallmark of what it actually is. And, racism, is all about, I don’t know. And the, lack of empathy, I am better than better than you, and you are lower than me, you know, and so I think he probably already had these traits and then online communities exacerbated, and bring it out and really kind of normalized it.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

The narcissist and mass shootings

Myrna: So that’s I understand, narcissism. Why does, narcissists, now go out and kill a bunch of people? Can you make the connection? Why is the, narcissist, a, mass murderer, all of a sudden?

Lena: I believe that the university has done a lot of research on violence and a lot of my work too. I focus on violence prevention. And his work found that the majority or I say a significant majority or significant number of, mass shooters, are what you would call, narcissists. And, looking at, again, FBI profilers and counterterrorism experts and people who profile the, mass shooters, all agree that the common theme here is the word inclusion as well.

And so there’s a score to settle with the higher levels in rage and I feel that something was done to me and I’m angry. That’s why another connection that we see with these shooters is they’ve been bullied. There’s another part when we’re just talking about empathy as a society. I think we need to do so much more work just on bullying in general because I also think that bullying is part of what pushes people over the edge and makes them want to settle the score. And, you know, again, there’s no excuse for what they do ever.

There’s a type of, narcissism, called, covert narcissism, where there’s a lot of anger and rage about not being recognized for how special you are. So, I think they are really like, I’m going to show you that I am special. I’m so angry and I don’t have empathy and I’m just going to go take out my anger on people and cause pain. There’s a lot of times also, there’s another common theme with a lot of, mass shooters, and that can also be sexual assault. Different variations of abuse or drugs in their home of origin.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Bullying is usually the trigger for these mass shootings

Myrna: So why is it let’s say that you’re an aggrieved person being bullied by high school students? Why do you go to the elementary schools and kill babies?

Lena: I think, you know, again, that’s going back to the, narcissistic, behavior they want to be recognized so what’s going to be the biggest thing? They want other people to suffer and what’s going to bring them the most attention than killing people’s children.  You’ve all seen what happened at Sandy Hook. I think that was the worst thing you’ve ever seen in this country.

Myrna: Yes, I agree Sandy Hook was brutal, so was Parkland and Columbine.

Narcissistic relationships

Myrna: You started off our conversation today by saying that you were in a, narcissistic relationship, in your early 20’s and one of the things that you do now is to counsel women on how to recognize the signs and get out of these relationships. So, what are some of the signs and personality traits of a, narcissist, in a relationship?

Lena: When you’re in a romantic situation, or even a friend, right? They just really lay on the flattery when we want to read you over in, narcissism, world. We call it rock climbing. And so, this is always a big red flag. I tell people like if after one week they tell you they love you and want to move in, that’s a red flag.

Myrna: I’m laughing because I always quote Halle Berry, she said her mother told her that “anything that looks too good to be true usually is.”  She had a really bad relationship with David Justice.

Lena: Yeah. And so yeah, there is manipulation. And I think most of us actually kind of know. Some people get a weird feeling about that a friend who does this type of love bombing.  Narcissists, are like Jekyll and Hyde. There are two personas and this is also a dynamic for, abusive relationships. It doesn’t have to be physical abuse, there’s emotional verbal abuse as well.  I think whenever you’re walking on eggshells around someone and you feel anxious all the time, it is time to leave.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

The red flags to watch for in a narcissist

You never know if they’re gonna like flip on you or that, that’s a big sign. The gaslighting which is like making the reality telling you Oh, you’re too sensitive, that they’ll say something really horrible to you. And then they’ll get upset and you’re the problem.

You’re the problem, you’re too sensitive. You need to go to a therapist.  They’ll make you almost go into a place where you’re questioning your sanity. So, there’s all kinds of things they do. Financial abuse, controlling, they isolate you. A lot of times, narcissistic, people don’t want you to be around your friends and family.

Myrna: Yeah, I agree. Because you know, they know once you start talking to more people and more people are like, hey, are you sure you really wanted to stay in this relationship?

Lena:  They also don’t want you to leave because, narcissists, they love attention. So basically, the motivations are attention seeking, feeling special, but also things like little, empathy, because they’re so centered on themselves. They don’t have, empathy, for others.

The entitlement, I’m better than other people. I deserve more than other people. I deserve special treatment, special privileges and the exploitation which is why you have so many people in real positions of power from politicians to people like Harvey Weinstein. That is true. exploitation.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

Narcissistic abusive relationships

Myrna: Wow, so we know that it’s hard to get out of, abusive relationships, because you’re kind of mentally tied to this person and that manipulation. How do you coach people to know that their boyfriend or girlfriend is a, narcissist, to get out and run?

Lena: I’m also a couple’s therapist. I will get people who actually can be helped, and sometimes I’ll have people call me and say, oh, my mom or my friend thinks my husband or my boyfriend is a, narcissist, and I’ll get some more information and usually I’m like, I don’t do couples therapy with, narcissists, because it doesn’t really work. I mean, it can but it depends on the scale of, narcissism.

Transform Your Mind Podcastland
Transform Your Mind Podcastland

Book: The Facebook Narcissist

Myrna: So tell us about your book “The Facebook Narcissist” why you wrote it and I love your first book “ My Daddy is a Hero” you can also talk about that as well.

Lena: The Facebook narcissist is a guide to identify and protect yourself and your loved ones from, social media narcissism, and it was really inspired to help my kids.  They’re not teenagers they are in elementary school, but close inspired by this idea of everything we’re getting bombarded with on social media and what it’s doing to our culture from influencers and celebrities to Family Feud to catfishing from fidelity to cyber bullying, cyber stalking, trolling. You know, there’s a chapter about false narrative.

What does it mean when people create a narrative on social media? How that links to, narcissism. So, each chapter is a different theme and how, social media, is linked to, narcissism, and then one of the last chapters is about, racism, politics, social media, and how that leads to, narcissism, as well. And so, it’s just a comprehensive guide about how, narcissism, on social media is impacting all of us and how it’s consuming it and what does it mean when we’re consuming all this content that’s being put out by, narcissists.

So, it’s not just who hears it on social media, but what is it doing my mental health when I’m exposed to all of it? Whether it’s vanity, whether it’s bullying, trolling, like what is it doing to me and my family, and how do I want to use it mindfully? How do I want to raise my children to use it in a way? So, it’s basically just a guide, giving people a lot of information and there’s questions at the end of every chapter that makes people think about how they want to use social media for them and their kids.

Book My Daddy is a Hero
Book My Daddy is a Hero

True crime narcissisms

There’s a couple of parenting chapters. I think one of the interesting is chapter two, how much should we should be posting about our kids on social media and so I’m not telling them what to do but giving them a sense of the consequences. Okay, there’s a lot of case studies and it’s even here about real, narcissists, on social media. So, it’s, it’s got everything in there.

And then my first book is a true crime. And it’s called “My daddy as a hero.” How Chris Watts didn’t show any traits of a, narcissist.  It’s about the Watts family murders which took place in Colorado in 2018. Where this man again, opposite actually, and this is why I wanted to write about it because he had all the opposite traits of a, narcissist, except with a little bit closer look it was there all the time.  He was very shy, quiet, from birth all his life.  His wife was the more controlling one in the relationship.

And then he just again, he met this woman at work and his wife took the kids to be family in North Carolina for five weeks and within that time period, he decided, again, going from love bombing to devalue and discard, he decided that his family had no use. And it wouldn’t be easier to kill them than to divorce the wife. I mean, it was a brutal killing

So that was a narrative storytelling about this crime, victimized either their relationships, they even have now had all their text messages and transcripts. And so, I told the narrative story, and then there’s a psychological analysis of the different types of, narcissism, and analyzing him and making the case that you know, essentially a, psychopath, and a, narcissist, that was a good of hiatus from those places.

I’m on Instagram @ therapywithLena and my websites is www.LenaDerhally.com You can also connect with me on LinkedIn.

Additional Resources

How to Heal Your Brokenness

 

God Knows The Desires Of Your Heart

God know the desires of your heart

God knows the, desires of your heart, even the ones you don’t think will ever come through. This is illustrated in the bible story of the prophet Elisha and the wealthy Shunem woman.

Download the podcast here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11165461-god-knows-the-desires-of-your-heart.mp3?download=true

Be Kind and generous

A wealthy Shunem woman invited the prophet, Elisha, to her home one day for a meal. So, whenever he passed her way again, he would stop in to have something to eat.

One day the woman said to her husband, I am sure the man who stop in from time to time is a holy man, let’s build a small room for him on the roof and furnish it, so he will have a place to stay when he comes by.

When, Elisha, and his assistant came by the next time, he went up to his new room to rest. Appreciative of the woman’s kindness, he wanted to give her something in return. He said to her “We appreciate the kind concern you have shown us. What can we do for you?” She responded I don’t need anything, my family takes good care of me.

Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm
Transform Your Mind Podverse.fm

We all need something even the things we don’t ask for

But, Elisha, figured there must be something she needs. So, he asked his servant what he thinks she needed. His servant said “She doesn’t have a son and her husband is an old man.”

Elisha, then told his servant to call the woman then he told her “Next year at this time you will be holding a son in your arms” She responded, please don’t get my hopes up.

Sure enough, the woman soon became pregnant and by that time the following year she had a son, just as, Elisha, had said.

What is the principle taught in this, bible story?  As you know the, Bible, is a blueprint for life.

First principle, is if you are blessed with wealth you should share with those who have less. You should, give to the poor, your church etc.

RadioPublic Transform your mind
RadioPublic Transform your mind

God knows the desires of your heart

The second principle and the one I want to focus on today is that God knows what you want. He knows the, desires of your heart, even the ones you don’t think will ever come through. The, desires, of this woman’s heart was to have a child, but her husband was old and she was probably old as well, so she didn’t think it was possible. She put it out of her mind.

The bible says in Psalm 37:4  “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the, desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this:

When the man of God asked the Shunem woman what can I do for you she responded nothing. She had all the, money, she needed, but how many of you know that, money, does not fill the hole in your heart.

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind

What are the desires of your heart?

  • Do you want to get married?
  • Do you want a child?
  • Do you want to own a home?
  • Do you want to see your child go to college but he/she have a learning disability?

Whatever it is, if you live right, give to the poor, God will give you the, desires of your heart. You don’t even have to ask him.

Several years ago, the, desires of my heart, was to become an American citizen. I did ask God, but decided to take matters into my own hands and made a mess of it. Then one day I walked onto a train and there standing at the door was my future husband. He loved me, married me and sponsored me and my kids to become American Citizens. So don’t think the, desires of your heart, are impossible – with God all things are possible.

So, ask, seek, knock and you will receive.

https://youtu.be/xBOA_tWqvAI

Conclusion

Whatever it is you are wanting, whatever you are asking Him for, God hears you. If he does not seem to be answering, do not give up. Everything will happen in his timing. God knows what is best for you and He hears the, desires of your heart. He will give you the, desires of your heart, when the time is right. Have patience and trust in the Lord.

The Shunammite woman’s heartfelt hospitality to, Elisha, and simple, sincere faith led to an amazing series of events. Elisha, was certainly blessed. And God abundantly blessed the woman’s life during a difficult period in Israel. Still today, God often uses His people’s humble acts of service to bless both the giver and the receiver.

Thanks for tuning in to this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources 

Look At The Heart Not Outward Appearance

What Men Want In A Woman

Andre Paradis what men want

Andre Paradis, relationship coach, shares insights on, what men want, and how to revert back to nature and polarity to make our relationships work. If you want to know how to have healthy fulfilling long-term relationships, listen to the end. What men want, is a woman who is sweet and lovely and warm and, feminine, and attractive and magnetic. 

Download the podcast here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11136662-what-men-want-in-a-woman.mp3?download=true

Bio

Andre Paradis, is a Relationship Coach, NLP Coach, Educator of Effective Communications, Published Writer, Public Speaker, and Ordained Minister. Andre Grew up in Canada, and while on vacation in Los Angeles he was scouted and became a professional dancer. He has danced with legends including Michael Jackson, Prince, Paula Abdul, Julio Eglesias to name a few.

He then attended a workshop called “Understanding Women” in 2006 and started studying with some of the biggest relationship masters (Dr. Pat Allen, Dr. Esther Perel, Dr. John Gray, Shantie Feldhan and Alison Armstrong). He started sharing his knowledge with friends and family. He saw that this knowledge actually helped people lead happier lives with the people they love. He found his purpose in life… The Big Calling deep inside him. He then sold his successful Auto Shop and launched Project Equinox Coaching to help men and women learn to build stronger long lasting and healthy Love relationships. For some clients, He even officiate their weddings.

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Men are from Mars Women are from Venus 

Myrna: I have a question about a book that I’ve read and I still have in my library.  You said that you studied under Dr. John Gray who wrote the book. Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. What did you learn from studying with Dr. Gray about women?

Andre: Well, the bulk of his work has changed since the beginning from Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Dr Grey now explores men or women differences, like how we respond or act differently. What motivates a woman and what motivates a man and vice versa. The past 10 years though, the bulk of his work became the chemistry of our bodies that creates the behaviors that we do. So how does, estrogen, and, testosterone, affect our physiology.

A man’s brain is full of, testosterone, the structure of his brain is similar to a woman, but the main mechanism is different, because it functions on a different fuel.  This creates all kinds of behaviors, reactions, ways of operating and the, Hunter brain. The, Hunter brain, is about, conquering, competing, fighting, pushing, penetrating, you know, control everything that’s in, Hunter brain. That’s the paradigm of, testosterone, chemistry.

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Women’s brains are soaked in Estrogen 

So that’s what’s Dr Grey’s work in past 10 years was all about that. The innate differences explained through chemistry. And for the lady is same thing similar brain soaked in, estrogen, creating a whole different machine, a whole different engine, with behaviors, reactions, temperament, blah, blah, blah. In our culture right now, everybody’s about equality, so understanding the beginning of equality, the, feminist movement, equal rights equal pay equal opportunity, is important.

With equality a man should be more, feminine, more feminized, more vulnerable, more talkative, more sweet, more sensitive, to be a good man.  A woman should be strong, independent, powerful at all costs, in order for her to be valued and valuable in the world. Well, there’s a big huge price to pay for these shifts that are not natural. Everything I teach is Nature and Science and not my opinion. So, if you go back to nature, these things don’t work very well.

If you consider now that relationships are the hardest thing for people to attain and sustain, where it should be the easiest because we have equality now, right? Well, no, the reason for this is what I teach. What’s happening out there is women are more miserable. The women in our culture for the past 15 years, almost 20 years now actually, are more unhappy than ever in the entire history of mankind.

Myrna: That’s because they can’t find a man.

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Why women can’t find a man 

Andre: And why is that right back to the same thing I’m talking about earlier. I’m so busy because my clients call me because they’re realizing they’re being sold a lemon that’s exactly how they put it. They tell me I am a badass but that gets me absolutely nowhere with a man. Men don’t ask me out and if I manage to get a date, he smiles and goes nice to meet you and I never see him again. I can’t get past the first date. What is wrong with me? Like what is what’s wrong with me? The answer is you’re, masculinized, you’re too manly for a man.  

Myrna: I have so much circle backs in that don’t get too far. When you were talking about the men and the woman, how the man is the hunter personality with the, testosterone, and the woman is supposed to be, feminine, but now women are bad asses and are not, feminine. So, the  question I have, is that why there’s a rise in, lesbian and gay relationships?  Is that is the reason that those kind of relationships are blossoming, because at least you’ve got the same, estrogen, and, testosterone, levels.

Andre: Yeah, well, not the way you think. And I think if I’m reading your mind a little bit here right now, it’s not quite that because men have always understood men better than their women. And the same with women, they understand each other better than men.  But throughout history, that’s actually the, polarity, that brought men and women together. So, that is not the problem. What is happening, is culture if we are going to peel the onion back.

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Latch Key Kids can’t form relationships as adults 

We have, latch key kids, who were not nurtured as kids so they can’t form relationships as adults. When you have children, babies, infants, toddlers, young people, young kids unable to bond with their own parents, they become anxious as far as in the relationship, anxious or avoidant in relationships. They’ve never been bonded to somebody who loves them, so they feel abandoned.  The anxiety of puberty makes it even worse, and they will become young people who cannot create healthy bonds.

They just can’t do it. Now what happens we talk about, gay and lesbian relationships, in the news, that new wave. A young girl needs so much nurturing connection emotionally, the, feminine, for mother, the young women who went without being with her mother will do it later in life with another woman.  For men it’s a little bit different for men they turn into the part of them that’s missing.

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Why men don’t want badass women 

Myrna: Is it true that’s, badass women immediately get disqualified because she’s gonna throw the fact that she makes more money than him in a man’s  face?  

Andre: You know, I’m sorry, but it’s more energetic than that. If you’re gonna be a, badass woman, and be a pain in the ass about it, like you push it in my face. That you are better than me. That is not the energy that men are looking for from women.  That’s a man on man. I always say ladies when you can be, badass, but if you’re gonna throw your balls in my face, we’re gonna have a problem. And that’s what, badass women, do put their balls in everybody’s face. They’re so proud which is fine.

You can be proud of what you do, but when you lead with that, you’re more, masculine, than, feminine. You’re actually arrogant a lot of times, and for sure you’re irritating. Absolutely freaking irritating. If you think men like to be irritated by women, this is not why they want to date you. They want to date you because you’re sweet and lovely and warm and, feminine, and attractive and magnetic. Not irritating, not pushy, not controlling, not in my face. Not sitting there like go ahead, prove it your way.

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Men don’t want women with bigger balls than them 

So my clients, when they find out that men aren’t finding them attractive and don’t ask them out, they feel completely invisible.  This is because your, balls, are bigger than his and that’s irritating and off putting. You can have, balls, all you want, you need to be, masculine, to create anything to make money, but I say leave them, balls, in your desk drawer. When you get home and in public, you’d have to be a woman to attract men, otherwise they don’t see you, you become invisible to men.

Myrna: So, the answer to that question is not all women that are making money and are, badass, just the ones that are throwing their, balls,  in a man’s face and leading with, masculinity.

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What men want in a women 

What do men want? You said that one, a man wants a woman that’s, feminine.  Let’s also touch on equality. Does a man want a woman that’s making as much money as him? By the way, when I asked my husband that question, he says, I can become a kept man but not If you’re gonna throw it in my face.  

Andre: In my world, you could have a penis and not be a man. I believe there are three types of men:

  1. The real man: They know who they are. They know, what men want. They hold themselves accountable for everything; they have character. They have competence, you can’t mess with them. You can’t fuck with them. You can’t derail them.  They’re solid, they’re strong. You can count on them all that stuff.
  2. The second type of man  is that guy who’s man enough to have a job, but it’s a little job, he’s not gonna have a good car, he drives a little shitty car and lives in the basement of his mother’s house or he’s got three roommates. No girlfriend and is silly. So, these guys are messy enough to do life. Small but okay. Except when it comes to women, they don’t want to ask you out. They acquiesce and want to do whatever movie you want to go see. They are not sure, what men want. 
  3. The third kind of man are boys, they are passive and, feminine. They don’t want to work. They want you to work. They’re so happy that they are not paying for anything. They don’t want to work, they’re allergic to work.  They’re offended when you say, just man up. They look like boys.  They’re often very pretty because they are, feminine and want to attract women with their bodies. Their looks are lean and sexy. They absolutely don’t know, what men want. 
Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

What men want: A feminine woman

We now raise men to be not, masculine, but soft, sensitive, passive, and that’s toxic.  A real man scoops women up and say hey, I’m taking you out to dinner, seven o’clock and wear some good shoes, because we are going salsa dancing afterwards.  But we shame them out of this. We say that’s pushy.

What men want, is a, feminine woman. A, feminine woman, want a, masculine man. They don’t want boys. Men that are boys are so smooth, they’ll tell you everything you want to hear in three days after meeting them! Oh, I think I found the one of my life, you are the one. So, he says all the right things for the first five or six weeks you finally think oh my God he is my soul mate.

He listens to me. He’s curious about me I have someone to talk to.  Next, you know, he’s like moving to your house, borrowing your car because he can’t afford to fix his piece of shit. You’re walking his dog because he won’t do it. You’re lending him money that he promised to pay back, but he never does. You’re working two jobs while he’s sitting on the couch smoking a joint and spooning the dog.  

Myrna: You’re talking such truth! How do you get out of that relationship? Kick them to the curb?

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What men want, not a masculine woman 

Andre: The terrible thing about this whole situation is when you, masculinize, women, this is the type of men they attract. They attract boys. I teach nature, it’s all about, polarity. Opposites attract. We know this about everything. Right? Two magnets, positive and negative, try to push two positive magnets together, right? It doesn’t work. The, masculine man, is strong, independent, powerful, conquering, controlling, pushy, fighting, all that stuff and he attracts the, feminine woman, who is more passive. Because she’s smaller and weaker, more passive and she needs a big strong guy.

 It’s the same all over nature. Like everything. There’s a, polarity, there’s two different pieces of a puzzle. that come together to complete a good dynamic. When a woman is more, masculine, and she’s stuck there because of her up bringing or her culture. Her mother telling her you don’t need that man. You can’t depend on men, so make sure you’re independent and strong and get your own.  So, when you raise, masculine women, that’s what you attract, boys.

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Download on iTunes

The Badass woman: can she become feminine and get a man 

All my clients that are strong, independent, powerful and they’re, badass women, and they’re so proud of it, are in relationships with boys, one after the other.  So, if you want a, masculine man, to provide, and protect, you have to be the opposite, feminine, to the core. I help my clients, we do actually get them from being too, masculine, after having neglected their, femininity, typically started in childhood. It’s always something that started in childhood. And we’re just going to calibrated them here.

Myrna: What do you tell them to do? How do you help them become more, feminine?

Andre: So how does a woman to be more, feminine?

Andre: That is simple and it’s individual for all and there’s plenty layers in this and the more you do it the more you get practice. The, masculine, is to be in your head and, feminine, is to be in your heart and your body. Masculine women, are stuck in their head and everything warm, radiant, lovely about them is out the window. Masculine men, live in their head we’re not in our hearts naturally. Right? We have to be logical and conquerors and fighters, we can’t think about how we feel.

Doesn’t matter how you feel. It needs to be done. How many times have you heard me say that? We care how you feel. It has to be done. Right?

Feminine, it’s about how you feel. Anything that makes you feel good, right?  If you feel sexy, you’re sexy.

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TuneIn Radio

What men want: to prove that he is the best suitor  

Myrna: Does, sex, too early in a relationship prevents building a healthy long term love relationship? Women my age were always told by their grandparents don’t give it away.

Why would a guy pay for the cow when he already got milk?

Andre: That’s another long answer, but I’m gonna try to keep it short.  But again, its nature. In a nutshell, a woman’s body and, sexuality, is her currency. Back in the days, men went towards building character, building their businesses, building their finances, so that they were adequate to call on women. They would compete against each other to be the top suitor for the best women. The guy who’s got more resources has more choices. But older men became more attractive on some level, because they have more power, they have more resources, they have more assets.

Men had to build themselves up to be competitive enough to be the chosen one by a good woman.  A, feminine woman, would let herself be wooed by him, but they would not cross the line into, sexuality, until he was committed. Because, sex, that’s her currency. Right? You want a good woman? You gotta be good, man. When you throw that out the window, now a man doesn’t have to work for it. This is part of what’s happening in our culture. Again, not my opinion, just facts. When women give away their bodies for dinner this is what happens.

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iHeart Radio

What men want: A woman they can trust 

You meet a guy, you date him once, twice, three times. He like, let’s roll. The women think that starts intimacy. The reality is for men, that killed it. Why does early, sex,  kill a long term relationship? Because in nature, he has to prove himself that he is good guy, that he’s got character, he’s got to impress her.  

And now he gets picked with almost no effort. He buys dinner three times and women put out. He’s thinking I can’t trust this woman. Now again, this is not a thought process is the limbic brain, the lizard brain saying, I can’t trust this chick because she’ll sleep with anybody. I didn’t have to do anything to get her to sleep with me.

Women sleep with men because they feel it will make them his girlfriend but no amount of, sex, ever convince a man to commit to a woman. That’s not it. It’s the opposite.

Myrna: Let me let me interrupt that one because I’ve heard that men don’t trust a woman if she sleeps with him on the first date. I think that they’re almost expecting to sleep with you after three dates or three weeks.

Andre: You could change the rules, but it’s still not working.  That’s never going to work. It’s never worked. And it’s the worst when nobody’s getting married.

Conclusion

Connect with Andre on the web:

My storyhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33PM5ehssWM

Website:www.projectequinox.net
FB Page: Project Equinox with Andre Paradis  
https://www.facebook.com/Project-Equinox-272490668761/

FB Private Group for Ladies – Freehttps://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=dating%20and%20relationship%20insights

YouTube: Project Equinox with Andre Paradishttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc-n26dzlCN0dcAXgubSjGQ

Additional Resources 

How to Embrace Female Sexuality and the Divine Feminine

You Must Give To Receive

You must give to receive

In order to receive you must first, give. This principle is taught in the Bible story of Elijah the prophet and the widow woman.  When you, give, you will always have enough and when you, give, God will also bring your dead things back to life.

Download the podcast here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/11123529-you-must-give-to-receive.mp3?download=true

It Happened: Elijah and the widow woman

The Lord told, Elijah, the prophet to tell King Ahab, who did what was evil in the Lord’s sight more than any of the kings before him.  “There will be no dew or rain during the next few years until I give the word.”

Then the Lord said to, Elijah, “Go hide by a brook and eat what the ravens bring you, for I have commanded them to bring you food”

So, Elijah, did as the Lord told him, but after some time the brook dried up because there was no rainfall. The Lord then told, Elijah “Go and live in the village of Zarephath, I have instructed a, widow, there to feed you.

Again, Elijah, did as he was told and when he arrived at the city he saw a, widow, woman gathering sticks and he asked her. Would you please bring me a little water in a cup. Then he added and a bite of bread too.

Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

Podmust Transform Your Mind podcast

I only have a little flour just enough to make my last meal

The, widow, responded “I swear by the Lord I don’t have a single piece of bread in the house. I only have a handful of flour left in a jar and a little cooking oil in the bottom of the jug. I am about to cook my last meal and die.”

Elijah, responded go ahead and make the meal, but make a little bread for me first, for this is what the Lord said. There will always be flour and olive oil left in your containers until the time comes when the Lord sends rain and the crops grow again.

Sometime later the, widow, woman son dies and, Elijah, brought the boy back to life.

Podbay FM Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podbay FM

Give and God will multiply your seed

The secondary message I received from this story is God is great at multiplication, but you must have something for him to work with. The, widow, woman had a handful of flour and a little bit of oil left at the bottom of a jar and God used that to multiply so that she always had flour and oil. That means she always had something to eat.

Jesus used the 5 loafs and 2 fish to feed thousands. Again, God is great at multiplication.

The Feeding of the 5,000 is also known as the “miracle of the five loaves and two fish”; the Gospel of John reports that Jesus used five loaves and two fish supplied by a boy to feed a multitude.

What this tells me is that you must always have, seed. I recorded a message a couple of years back titled “Don’t eat your seed” if you eat your, seed, spend your, seed, God has nothing to work with.

If you want a harvest you must start with, seed.

Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Principles of giving and tithing

There has been a lot of talk recently about the, tithe,

Creflow Dollar said that the, tithe, was Old Testament and under the old law and Jesus is new law and the, tithe, is wrong. Every pastor in the entire Kingdom responded to this statement. The Bible said that the, tithe, belongs to the lord and we must, tithe, first.

Elijah, told the, widow woman, to make something to eat with the little flour and oil she had and, give, him something to eat first. How many of you would do that for a stranger? Maybe you would do that if your child is starving. A lot of mothers stay hungry so that their child would eat. But in order for the, widow woman, to get the blessing she had to, give, first.

You have to, give to receive. It works for anything you want. If you want financial abundance or even just to have enough you have to, give, to your church, to hospitals, to the poor, to any company offering human services like Goodwill and the Salvation Army.

If you want love you have to, give love, if you want respect you have to, give respect, and so on and so on.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

The tithe belongs to the Lord

The, tithe, is just God’s way of giving structure to your, giving. If you don’t want to, give, 10% nobody can make you. You have free will, but don’t expect God to bless you when you are like the, widow woman, just waiting to die. If you live stingy all your life never, giving, never blessing others, expect that you will dry up like a prune and always live in struggle and have empty jars. Empty jars don’t just mean money. Life is more than money. You need love, you need health, you need connection. So, start, giving, from your heart and watch the windows of heaven open and abundance flow in.

In closing always remember the principle You have to, give to receive.  Someone told me a long time ago, if your hands are closed not only you can’t give, but you also can’t receive.

Conclusion

Thanks for tuning in to this week’s episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna. I want to invite you to join my Facebook group called Lifecoach to receive inspiration throughout the week. I will meet you back her next week for another episode of 5 min Fridays with coach Myrna

Additional Resources 

Look At The Heart Not Outward Appearance

Listen Notes Transform Your Mind
Listen Notes Transform Your Mind