How to Deal with Grief from Death or Incarceration

Coping with, grief,  either from death, divorce, incarceration, job loss, or even loosing your home is devastating. Mental Health counselor, Arifah Yusaf  and, Life Coach, Myrna Young shares strategies for coping with loss.

I have been fortunate at 60 years old to not had to deal with the kind of, grief, that tears your soul out. The kind that of,  grief,  makes you want to die. The kind that  hurt so bad that you can’t get up out of bed for weeks.

I have heard stories, and I have had a front row seat to my daughters grief when she buried her fiancé.

Grief from Losing a Child:

I was listening to an interview with Anderson Cooper a few months back and he was telling the story of his brother suicide. Then I heard his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt,  talk about it. Put yourself in this scene.

Your 22 year old son wakes up from a nap and comes into your room. Asks you some question you don’t comprehend and then runs out of your room onto the balcony of your 12th story Penthouse suite and jumps to his death while you watch, shocked out of your mind.

Gloria Vanderbilt, had this experience. In an interview she said in her, grief, she stayed in bed for 2 weeks and cried and cried until she ran out of tears. Since then she has not cried once. She says it is as if, she has no tears left.

When a loved one commits suicide the, grief, is even more acute because there is blame wondering what you may have missed, could have done to prevent it, are you the cause etc.

But after hearing that interview, I heard another interview on the, Mental Health Happy Hour podcast, that penetrated my consciousness about the horror or, grief,

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast

Podbean 

Grief and the Death of a Spouse:

The guest told the story about, the death of her spouse, seeing her husband drown in front of her and how her world changed from that day.

Here is her story. She said her husband Matt was a super athlete very strong. She gave us the mental picture of him hanging from a cliff with one hand and in the other hand pulling up his 17 year old son.

One day before they picked up her husband’s son from the Airport, they decided to take their dog for a walk in the woods by their home. Her husband decided to take a quick swim in the river, something he did several times per week. She decided to keep playing with the dog.

After some time, she said she heard her husband cough once and she didn’t think anything of it. She said to herself, he got water into his mouth again. When she heard him cough again, she decided to investigate. When she reached the river, she saw her husband clinging to a branch in river. She knew something was wrong.

The river looked the same as it always looked, very calm on top; but as soon as she stepped into the river to help her husband, she felt the strong undercurrent. The current took her and her dog up the river for about 2 miles before it spit them out on the shore. She said she was then lost in the woods for about 45 mins before she was able to get help.

They began a search and rescue for her husband, but  after 3 hours it became a search and recovery.

They found him entangled in weeds at the bottom of the river.

My husband drowned in front of me

Her, grief, extended to having to tell Matt’s son that his father was dead. What it felt like to pick up Matt’s son from the airport the day before his 18th birthday.

Knowing that Matt’s son could never again celebrate his birthday again because it will always be the anniversary of his Dad’s death. She talked about having to call Matt’s parents and tell them their son was dead. She said his father hung up on her he didn’t want to believe it. Calling all his friends in his phone and telling them. Her, grief,  was unbearable.

She said she could no longer practice her profession as a therapist, because she couldn’t listen to other people’s problems anymore. But the point she wanted to convey by telling her story, was that while she was in mystery and her world changed forever, her neighbors world and everyone else’s world continued unchanged.

The sun came up the next day, her neighbor came out the next day and picked up his morning newspaper. She likened it to going to the movies, you pay to see a comedy but while everybody else is laughing your screen split and you are watching a horror movie.

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iHeart Radio

Grief from Suicide:

My firsthand experience with, grief, was seeing the pain it caused my daughter when her fiancé committed suicide. His mother called me and I thought she was joking when she said ” The boy killed himself” until she said why would I joke about something like that.

I had the unenviable role of telling my daughter her fiancé was dead. I can still hear her screens of anguish. I didn’t know what to do.

Her world changed. She quit school. She was doing her Masters degree at the time.

She went back later; but I had to call her professors and tell them the situation.

Then she had to deal with the funeral and the burial.

I didn’t know what to do, what to say or how to help her with her, grief.

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The therapist said that most people don’t know what to do or say.

Because our culture spins the tale that life must go on and that everything has a purpose.

She feels that is bullshit to sat that her husband died, so that she can use her pain to help other people. What she is doing now.

She said you can’t tell a mother who lost her baby that God had better plans for the child.

We will go through her suggestions for helping others deal with, grief, and what you can do to help later on in this blog

Here is how to deal with, grief from incarceration: Grief Counseling,

In the co-host chair is Arifah Yusuf Mortley, registered social worker, mental health counselor and founder and program director of Lifted by Purpose.

How is, grief from incarceration, similar to losing a loved one in death?

In my experience I have supported both clients in, grief counseling, dealing with, grief, of a loved one who died and secondary loss, such as losing a loved one to incarceration. When speaking with my clients, dealing with the loss of a loved one, I always listen and provide the space and opportunity for them to be heard and share their feelings.

It’s important for them to know during, grief counseling, that grief, is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. The more significant the loss, the more intense your, grief, will be.

Emotional reactions of, grief,  can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and despair.

During, grief counseling, clients may associate grieving with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of, grief, but you can also experience intense, grief from incarceration,  or losing a loved one to incarceration.  For example, I had a client who was pregnant and her fiancé was sentenced to 6 years in prison.

Grief while incarcerated

Even though he did not die the, grief, was intense from her watching him get sentenced and taken away the same day, delivering their baby without him present, and raising their child on her own.  She would drive 3 hours to visit him and 3 hours back home once a month and speak to him as often, as she could afford.

Over time the, grief from incarceration, took a toll on her, as this was not the family life she had envisioned for herself.  Likewise, it was difficult for her fiancé in prison, as he felt he was missing out on the experience of raising their child, and the experience of being the father he promised himself and her, he would be.

He felt disappointment in himself and a disconnection to his family. He also, experienced, grief,  from loosing his freedom, and the ability to provide for his family.  He also grieved missing all the milestones of his child’s life (ie. Missing first words, walk, first day of school, birthdays) and intense worry about their health and safety. As well, wondering if his girl would leave him for someone else. The inevitable of not being able to fully control situations, was an intense loss for them both, and sometimes, she would say it felt as if he was gone and not coming back home.

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TuneIn Radio

Steps to helping friends or family members deal with, Grief:

1: Never say get over it or it is for the best.

2: Allow them to grieve. If they want to talk about it listen. They need to feel heard. In fact they will talk about it until they feel heard.

  1. Help them by taking care of daily necessities like child care, cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash, picking up kids from school etc. A person in, grief, is not capable of doing any of these things.
  2. Sit with the thought that time does heal. The therapist went back to work helping others, my daughter went back to school and graduated on time with her Masters degree. She is getting married in December. Anderson Cooper decided to send himself to the war zone and report news. That is how he dealt with his, grief. That launched his career as a reporter.

How to Deal with grief from incarceration or death

Listen and engage  in conversations about the loss, so they can begin to recognize the reality of the loss and confront their own emotions (e.g. loneliness, sadness, helplessness). These stressors include things like thoughts, feelings, actions, and memories that cause us to feel, grief, and focus on the loss.

I share the Tear Model when working with clients, which focuses in on the following.

The Tear Model to help with, Grief

  • Accept the reality of the loss
  • Experience the reality of the loss
  • Adjust to a new life without the person
  • Reinvest in the new reality

I often explain that restorationorientation refers to coping with issues related to secondary changes brought on by the loss (e.g., financial, family demands), and adapting to these issues.

A griever will go between confronting the loss and avoiding the loss.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Helpful ways to cope with, Grief, and Loss

  • Express yourself. Talking to a trust friend, family member or counselor is often a good way to soothe painful emotions.
  • Allow yourself to feel sad. It’s a healthy part of the grieving process.
  • Keep your routine up.
  • Sleep.
  • Listen to music or express your emotions using the arts
  • Connect with your spiritually.
  • Eat healthy and exercise.
  • Avoid drugs and alcohol.
  • Honor your special person and treasure fond memories (drawing, photos, music, and memory box).
  • Connect to nature – go for a walk, breathe in the fresh, focus on what you see outside (i.e. Trees, birds).
  • Make a special memento to perverse a loved one’s memory. Write a letter to the person.
  • Lean on support from friends, family, professional support.
  • Learn about grief resources, support groups, grief professionals.
Transform your mind iTunes Podcast iTunes
Download on iTunes

 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR COPING WITH, GRIEF

How to Heal Your Brokenness

Life After Death: How an Atheist Became a Believer

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-find-the-right-man-the-second-time-around/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3131745/

 

https://www.themarshallproject.org/2017/11/10/the-singular-sorrow-of-grieving-behind-bars

 

How to Build Multiple Passive Income Streams

building multiple income streams

Looking for, passive income streams, for retirement? Jack Gibson, President of High Return Real Estate, shares how to use real estate to build passive income.

Today’s episode in the 3rd in our series on building wealth with Real Estate investments.  My intention is to sow seeds into your subconscious that 2019 is the year to build your net worth. The power of intention is an invisible force of energy in the Universe. It is activated when we become inspired and will propel us towards our goals.

Looking for a Passive Income Coach? Check out my one hour coaching special on Shopify  

  • Guest Biography

Jack Gibson began his entrepreneurial journey at 19, and founded his first company at the ripe old age of 21. Operating a successful nutrition consulting and distribution company.  He had built a multi-million dollar venture before he was old enough to rent a car. Soon thereafter, he bought his first home as an investment. One home quickly became five, and then the bug hit. He became obsessed with learning everything about Real Estate Investing and soon had over 50 investment properties generating Massive amounts of passive income. Today, Jack spends his time mentoring other entrepreneurs, building his real estate investment portfolio, and helping other investors to build a brighter future through the power of turnkey real estate income.

 

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Show Notes

My very first business that I started at age 19 was  a multi-level marketing nutrition distribution business.  The whole goal of that business was to build up a sales team and create ongoing, passive streams of income, so  I got that concept right away. I built that business up over the years and we currently have annual revenues over ten million dollars.  The last couple years it’s been a little bit more part-time or quite a bit more part-time as I pursued building my real estate company.

But I mean I still love it, I still love the people and I love the, passive streams of income,.  Two years into my network marketing company,  I read the book Rich Dad Poor Dad, that was the book that really transformed my mind to start thinking about utilizing real estate as a way to deploy the cash that I was making in my primary business and add additional, passive streams of income,.  I was still investing in stocks until about 4 years ago.  I was in stocks for most of the last 14 years, so about four years ago two events happened that were critical and really pushed me over into investing into real estate as another, passive streams of income,

There were two negative events,  but you know most negative events if we look back we can find the good in them.  One of them was I had some insider information, not anything illegal by any stretch,  I mean I knew that our company had a good earnings quarter.  I mean it wasn’t that hard to figure out based on what I heard from all my colleagues, so that’s kind of my insider information.

I bought into the stock about a week before the earnings report was to be released expecting things to be great.  Well the earnings report was phenomenal and typically, not always but typically stocks go up when the earnings report is great.  Well this  billionaire Hedge Fund investor was very well known as  an activist in terms of shorting stocks.  He gets on our company earnings call,  he asked  three or four pointed questions and then it appeared that he was shorting the stock;  the stock drops 30% overnight.

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Stocks as a, passive streams of income,

I realized then that I didn’t have control over stocks. Not even a sure thing is guaranteed. I want to be in the driver’s seat and put myself in a great position where I have as much control over the outcome as possible.  I took that as my sign that this is my time to learn a new asset class and another, passive streams of income, it was the final push.  I told myself, I’m going to draw the line in the sand.  So I studied real estate and listened to podcasts for a hundred straight days.

Jack you know that someone listening is going to pay devil’s advocate and say the same thing happens in real estate.  What’s your come back on that?

iHeart Radio

So here’s what we have to consider when looking at real estate as another, passive streams of income,  we look at the past.  I mean could go back 100 even you know 200 years or whatever, the variance between real estate and the stock market is almost four times different.  If you look at historical data,  the swing in the stock market is around a variance of 16 or so from year to year.  Real estate has a variance of four.  That means from year to year on average that the swing in the market is going to be four percent, so you’re not quite so volatile in real estate.

The other part in this, passive streams of income, scenario  is it that you’re  investing in the real estate as  Robert T. Kiyosaki says, for the cash flow that it produces.  Not necessarily for it to go up in value.  You really don’t care if it appreciates or depreciates. As an investor and you’re renting it out and you will always be able to rent it out for more than the mortgage payment.

 

At the same time  property values  will go up eventually, even if it dips for a little in the short term.  I was listening to the Automatic Millionaire Homeowner and the author was interviewing homeowners who lived in their homes for about 2 years and then sold and moved to bigger homes, and became millionaires because homes always go up in value.

We’ve discussed  real estate, we’ve talked about the stock market and we’ve also talked about multi-level marketing.  I understand why that’s been your foundation for, passive streams of income, because you’ve been you’ve been taught well.  You stayed in the business  for 20 years so you must be really doing well, because everybody that joins the business under you feeds you, passive streams of income,.

Multi-Level Marketing a Tool for generating, passive streams of Income,

Yea, it is phenomenal. If I could describe the business to people without saying what it was they’d be like wow that sounds too good to be true. I have a multi-million dollar business that I work right here from my home office.  That I help people with their health and nutrition. I have no employees, I have no accounts receivable.  I have no inventory, I have no monthly overhead whatsoever.  I have a free cash flowing business that produces ten to twelve million dollars in sales revenue per year.  That’s not obviously my income; but a percentage of that.

Skilled , passive streams of income: Writing a book, Music, software

That’s why, passive streams of income,  is so important.  On my website, www.myhelps.com  I talk about a some other forms of, passive streams of income,  like writing a book, or writing music.  Mariah Carey wrote the song “All I want for Christmas”  in 15 minutes. She’s generated sixty million dollars in royalties off of that 15 minute work.  So her, passive streams of income, is phenomenal.

Explain what we mean by, passive streams of income,  which ones would you recommend it to a seasoned investor or someone just starting out?

Passive income is created from work you have done in the past, that is paying you today.

You have one or two scenarios.  You either have money at work or capital at work and you’re drawing royalties. There’s multiple ways to go about creating, passive streams of income,  it boils down to either unskilled or skilled forms of passive income. It’s like what you talked about in terms of creating music and selling music, or writing a book, or creating a piece of software that you then are able to license out and sell.  Those are very technical skills, very skilled types of, passive streams of income,.

Creating, passive streams of income, from a business  I won’t say is unskilled in terms of work. It does it takes skills to put the right management team in place.  There’s a way you can have any type of business that you set up  to become a, passive income stream, if you’re not involved directly in day-to-day operations, then it’s a, passive income stream, business.

To listen to the full interview, download on iTunes and please subscribe and leave a review.

Download on iTunes

Check out Jack on the web https://highreturnrealestate.com/.  All of our properties are listed on the website. Nicole is the Head of Investor Relations and she will be happy to answer any questions.

On the nutrition side,  we have a brand new system, it’s a nine week online body transformation Course that we’re planning on scaling so that over 10,000 people can participate. Check out Jack’s Body Transformation podcast 

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Additional Resources:

Top 20 Areas In Miami For Increasing Property Values

25 Best Passive Income Ideas to Make Money in 2019

https://wellkeptwallet.com/passive-income-ideas/

https://wallethacks.com/passive-income-ideas/

http://blog.myhelps.us/create-a-freedom-lifestyle-with-investment-property/

How to Succeed in Commercial Real Estate

Martin Sawa Commercial Real Estate

I thought about all the things I could sell and, commercial real estate, looked like the biggest assets and I figured they must have the biggest commissions.

Martin Sawa’s story is about the American Dream. He went from selling hair brushes door to door, to becoming a success in the world of, commercial real estate, in the top market of San Francisco.

Download the audio here

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9794688-how-to-succeed-in-commercial-real-estate.mp3?download=true

Bio

MARTIN SAWA is a first generation Ukrainian American, former San Francisco real estate power broker, and author. His remarkable rise to, self-made wealth, from the humblest beginnings.  A devastating loss forced him to reevaluate the meaning of success, and how the impact of love, family, religion, and race shaped the metaphorical zoetrope of Martin’s own, American Dream.

A son of poverty-stricken Ukrainian immigrants who as a teenager sold hairbrushes door to door, Martin later quit a stable 9-to-5 job to try his hand at the high stakes world of San Francisco, commercial real estate, in the early ‘80s. As the demands of the job required more and more of him, Martin found himself in the grip of, alcoholism. It would take a tragedy to pull him out of it.

  Martin’s new book THE OTHER SIDE OF SUCCESSMoney and Meaning in the Golden State is an account of the new American experience, told from the perspective of a first-generation immigrant who made the, American Dream, a reality. The book tells stories of the glamorous and cutthroat world of, commercial real estate, in the second most expensive market in the country. Readers will be inspired by Martin’s tenacity and drive as well as his resilience in the face of personal trauma and tragedy.

book The other side of success
Book The Other Side of Success

Getting started in Commercial Real Estate

Myrna: I love your story. Can you bridge for us as we start off. I know you sold hairbrushes from door to door. What was your entry into, commercial real estate, like? How did that happen?

Martin: Well, at the time I was almost 30 years old, (I had grown up in the Midwest but moved to California) I was living in Oakland which is across the bay from, San Francisco. I had a dead end job – I was driving 40 miles one way down to San Jose and I was a city planner.

One day, I was standing at the counter processing permits and a developer came in. He was angry and waving his plans. As I looked at him, he was like a silver fox with a big gold medallion. I wondered why I was doing what I was doing because not only did I not like the job, I was dead broke and my then wife was pregnant with our daughter. So I just quit and walked away. I didn’t know right away what I was going to do, but then I remembered when I was a teenager my first sales job.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

When I just finished high school, I sold the hair brush products, door-to-door sales, in the west side of Chicago. I was good at it and it taught me, sales skills. I had a great mentor too who taught me the, fundamentals of sales, and I knew I could sell. The, fundamentals of sales, don’t change whether you’re selling hair brushes or high-rise office buildings as a, commercial real estate agent. It’s just a difference of degree.

Specializing in Commercial Real Estate

I thought about all the things I could sell and, commercial real estate, looked like the biggest assets and I figured they must have the biggest commissions.

Myrna: Yes, why not go for it?

Martin: I go for it and I started out. There are many specialties or work opportunities and, commercial real estate,

  • You can do brokerage,
  • leasing office space,
  • property management
  • I chose to be in investment property sales which was the riskiest because these deals took months to put together.

If they came together at all!  You weren’t guaranteed a paycheck and usually had to wait a long time to see the money. It took me a year before I actually got my first commission check. So, that taught me how to make ends meet without having any money coming in.

Door to door sales is usually the first entry into sales

Myrna: Wow, there are tons of things I want to circle back to, – one my entry into sales was similar. I sold encyclopedias from, door-to-door sales, and found that I was good at it.  Not because I had any, sales skills, they didn’t really teach us any, sales skills, but I learned that I had the, personality, that people would buy from me.

I went into sales later on in my career as well. As I mentioned, I’m a, Realtor, but, door-to-door sales, kind of started my, sales career.  I’ve always sold that way with my, personality, not necessarily knowing that there’s a stage one, two and three, sales skills, and following it kind of format.

The second thing is about, real estate, whether it’s, commercial real estate, or,  residential real estate, is that you are working and you don’t get paid until there’s a closing. So, obviously, the bigger the deal, the longer it’s going to take to put together, the longer you have to wait for a pay check.

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Download on Spotify

Pandemic affected Real Estate

I started trying to get into, commercial real estate,  just before the pandemic hit. Everybody wanted, multifamily real estate, because they said it was recession proof. Real Estate Investors,  and there were people calling me all the way from California and all around the world even as I’m in Florida. They wanted these, multi-family deals. What happened is that the sellers wanted more money that the buyers were willing to pay.

So, I was never able to get it married, get a marriage and get this big ass commission because I offered one of the buildings for $10 million, so it should have been a really nice commission but then the pandemic happened.

Now it looks like multi-families wasn’t recession-proof because now, nobody really wants to touch him because of the eviction ban. The tenants are not paying their rent and you can’t evict the tenants.

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Commercial Real Estate Glamourous and cutthroat

Myrna: Why did you say that, commercial real estate, is glamorous and cutthroat?

Martin: It’s the people would use you up and just throw you out, that kind of thing – like they do in the residential. Well, first of all, you have to understand my perspective or baseline. My parents grew up in Ukraine in the years before and during the Second World War, they lived under both Hitler and Stalin so it doesn’t get any worse than that.

I will say one thing and if you’ve been in the business and you understand that you can work like crazy a year on a deal and it falls apart and on another deal you can work 10 minutes, five minutes and make a huge commission and you have the mindset that that’s the way it works. If I could predict which deals I was going to close, I could have worked one month out of the year!

Myrna: You mentioned that San Francisco is the second largest, real estate, market in the USA. So, I’m assuming the top is New York?

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Martin:  It always used to be Manhattan but then with the expansion of Silicon Valley, and in San Francisco, (historically was a financial services city) there are insurance companies, banks etc., but with the technology explosion, it moved up into San Francisco so now half the tenants are tech. The whole nature of the business changed in terms of who were your customers and clients, and with tech you got all these. All of a sudden, billionaires living 30-40 miles down the Peninsula, in the Los Altos, Hills of Palo Alto etc., and the prices not just in San Francisco but throughout the Bay Area just exploded.

Commercial Real Estate in San Francisco

So, San Francisco, caught up to Manhattan sometime in the last five years and just in terms of absolute property value per square foot, not only for commercial but for residential as well.

Myrna: You said that when you were doing, door-to-door sales, you had a mentor that taught you the skill sets to sell and you said it was transferable. Can you give us a bit of the skills that you learned doing, door-to-door sales, and how you’re able to transfer those skills into being successful a, commercial Real Estate agent?

Door-to-Door sales convert to Commercial real estate skills

Martin: If you sold encyclopedias, you understand it’s the most kind of basic Fundamental mono a mono that you can have. It’s you and another person, and that person in my case was typically a housewife in her personal home environment. So, it’s you the housewife. The key is – if they open the door at all you have a minute or two to develop trust to get in two minutes and you either do or you don’t.

If you’re broke and extended on credit cards and have a baby girl and two step kids, you’re going to do whatever it takes to get in that door, and that cannot be taught. The sales supervisor can kind of tell you how to do it, but you’ve got to be hungry. That’s pure desire, you take the rejection and keep going.  If you get rejected at ten houses, you’re going to go to the 11th. So, once you get in, there are techniques for converting the trust into an order and making a commission. I was again fortunate because the mentor I had was very good at teaching me these, sales skills.

Alcoholism and commercial real estate

Myrna: Before we get into your book, what happened that made you become an, alcoholic, and how did tragedy and self-resilience pull you out of that?

Martin: Well, there’s just a little back story in the little town I grew up in. I had a population of 5000 people and 40 bars. Most of the male population in the town was quote, alcoholic. I was a two-fisted drinker and that was a compliment. I mean that’s just the way those times were and it’s still that way in many parts of the world, in rural areas where alcohol drives a lot of choices that people make and sometimes they’re not very good.

I started drinking beer in cornfields when I was 12 and then, I went to College and I finished at University of Wisconsin in Madison which was a huge party school and it’s just something I did. When I got into, commercial real estate, there were all the functions and cocktail parties, so I just remained a, functional alcoholic, in the business, but it became more and more of an issue when I remarried my second wife.

She became the person who was not only wife and lover, but became my spiritual mentor in moral compass and she had powers in what I call the world of the unseen. I think you probably can guess what all that involves. It got to the point that there was a major incident (I won’t give you the spoiler), you just have to read the book, but it came down to her saying “you either quit drinking or that’s it”.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

I got it and I did what I had to do then, but the really most impactful experience in my life was a few years later when she dropped dead one night. There was nothing to prepare for that experience and that’s when I really had to evaluate the big picture and business and all of that and then life and meaning.

Tragedy and alcoholism

Myrna: That is you’ve got “a you” and a great story. There are so many different nuggets and many different checkpoints in there. You said you share all this in the book so that people would be able to understand the, sales skills, understand how you were able to move through, alcoholism, and now you’re on the other side.

You learned the fundamentals like you said and then you’re able to build on that by being at the highest level of, real estate. You know, commercial real estate, and in a city that is number one or number two interchangeable in, real estate. I’m pretty sure you’ve got a lot of good stories in there.

Your book “The other side of success, money and meaning in the golden State”, my favorite question to ask authors is what do you want readers to walk away with after they close the book?

Martin: If I just wanted to work off grief, I could have kept the personal journal. First and foremost I created it as a story. I think I have a good story that even if, commercial real estate, is not something the reader has a high interest in, they will find enough else in there about life and so forth – that they’ll find rewarding.

Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV
Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV

Living the American Dream

Myrna: Your parents lived in the Hitler era, you came to America as we all come to America hoping for the, American dream.

You found that dream, but along the way you had some personal tragedy and, Alcoholism, but you were able to get over to the other side. Now, as you write the book, you’re sharing the story of personal tragedy and success with some business nuggets. Do I get that right?

Martin: Yes, exactly okay. I try not to get too technical also because this is for the general reader in terms of, there’s one chapter devoted just for, commercial real estate, and share how I put a deal together.  I try not to get too much in the financial aspects and all of that.

Myrna:  That’s good though, because when you’ve got, commercial real estate, in the tagline, someone will pick it up because they’re in, commercial real estate. So, it’s good that you have a chapter on putting together deals in, commercial real estate.

Conclusion

Martin: If listeners would like to buy the book, the easiest thing is just to go to my website www.martinsawa.com. You can buy it online from Amazon or the bookseller of your choice. With another click, go to my social media sites where you can see some of my other archived interviews. If you scroll to the bottom you can send me an email. I love to hear from readers.

Myrna: This was a very great interview. Like I said, I love combining self-help with a bit of business and building wealth. In the, commercial real estate, you didn’t want to talk about your commissions, but I am sure they were impressive. The deals may take one or two years to do, but in the end it’s rewarding. Do you have any last words for the readers?

Martin: Yes. Take advantage of the time while you have it because you never know when the big guy is going to call your Number.

Additional Resources

How to Own the Sales Process from Prospect to Client

Real Estate Investing with No Money

 

How to Recover Financially After Coronavirus Pandemic

How to recover financially after Coronavirus pandemic

We have been in a, pandemic, situation for over 15 months now. Many of you who are reading this blog, have experienced some, personal finance, problems. We know that Amazon, Walmart, Google and all those big brands actually made millions of dollars and were very profitable during this, pandemic.

But, it is a fact that ordinary people like you and me had some struggles. Financial planner, Michelle Arpin Begina is going to share with us how to change our, money mindset, by paying attention to your, money story.  Your, money story, shows up in good times and bad times. So, keep reading to understand how your, money mindset, affected whether you thrived in this, pandemic, or just survived.

Listen to the full interview:

 

Your Money Story

This is the time to really get curious and ask yourself, What is my, money story? Go back and trace the roots of your, money story, and experiences?

Similarly, ask yourself as an adult, What did I hear growing up about, money? What did I take away from the big financial moments of my life? What were some of the behaviors that I observed from other people or my parents, that influence my, personal finance, now?

  • Did you become a consumer or did you become a miser?
  • Did your parents tell you all the time ” Money does not grow on trees”
  • or ‘Money is the root of all evil”

Those messages are a part of my, money story.

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Your Parents Money Story

Michelle: I remember growing up watching my parents and saying to myself two things:

  • If only they could get their, personal finance, act together, because they had all the ingredients to have everything they wanted. We all have it within us.
  • The second thing I said was: this is not going to be me. But, as it turned out. When I first got started out, I started following their footsteps.

Myrna: Oh! You became a, consumer, too?

Michelle: I did! I bought the new car when I was 19, while I was paying my own tuition and rent. So, I lived with that feeling of financial insecurity. I kept it going with, personal finance, problems well into my 30s and then I turned it around.

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How to Thrive after the Coronavirus Pandemic

Myrna: What is the, personal finance, lesson that you want to share with us, that can help the people who are barely surviving?

Michelle: I can say that it’s not just about the, consumers,  and the savers, but there’s probably more depth to thriving than that. We have to go into some biology.

Myrna: So, let’s take a deep dive into biology of the, money mindset.

Michelle: Alright! We’ve got to cut slack for the, consumers, and the savers. Putting away money for a rainy day, could turn someone into a tight wad, where they are not enjoying their, money. There are so many different translations that can happen from what we take in as a child and that forms our, money story.

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Become friends with your future self. 

Let’s talk about flourishing for a second. We are hardwired to live in the moment, because we are psychologically distant from Michelle 10.0.

We are not friends with our future self. Michelle 10.0 or Myrna 10.0, is not our relative. We don’t feel this connection with her today, so we can’t help it. This is who we are as people, this is our biology. It’s very difficult to handle, money, outside of what our needs or wishes or even impulses are in the moment.

What we need to do is recognize this. When the 401K rep comes in, when you don’t have two dimes to rub together and say if you put away the maximum amount in this account, you’ll be a billionaire by the time you’re 65. When you were 22, it’s going to go in one ear and out the other. You tell the 401K rep, I can’t even afford lunch! A 22 year old has no relationship with her 65 year old self.

Myrna: You hit the nail right in the head. I was just saying that people can’t save because they have no extras to save.

Most of us have more month than, money!

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Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Transform Your Money Story to protect your future

Michelle: What we can do to help ourselves and transform our, money story, is to literally create a relationship with your future self. The closer we feel to that person, as if they were really alive today and is our friend, the more that we’re going to act in their best interests.

There are so many new little things that we have to accomplish in the day-to-day details to get us to that overarching goal. So, when we’re in the moment of the impulses or just choosing between two different things, and we want to maintain, self-control. What actually helps is to create distance in the moment. When we talk to ourselves in the third person, it actually helps us to control our behavior in the moment.

Myrna: I get it like saying

Myrna would never do that, Myrna is going to do is make the choice that is going to really help her in the future.”

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TuneIn Radio

What the Pandemic taught us about our money story

Myrna: Let’s get back to the, pandemic. What has the, global pandemic, taught us about, money?

Maybe you’re going to be a little different because, money, is your work, and you study it. Did you learn anything new about yourself and your, money beliefs, during the, pandemic, what do you think the global lesson was for us?

Michelle: I‘m a little afraid to answer this question.

Myrna: Let’s talk. It’s just your opinion.

Michelle: What I‘ve learned during this, pandemic, is a little embarrassing to say out loud is I learned a whole lot more about our systems and just how differently everybody is impacted, was the biggest thing that I witnessed.

Heartbreaking really in many ways and I‘ve discovered is that our systems were not designed to take care of people. Our systems were designed for the efficient management of accounts to obey the laws, rules and regulations. Many people had no, money, in the Bank because they didn’t see the need to save or to put something away for the rainy day. This, pandemic, exposed that flaw. 

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The Pandemic changed our money story

Myrna: Do you think that our values have changed, now that the, pandemic, highlighted our, money mindset?

Michelle: That’s basically what I was trying to get to as far as, money mindset, and the fallout from our, money story. Maybe their, money mindset, was thatyou get it”, you spend it that kind of thinking. I like to think – I mean it’s hard to know on a such a broad level whether it has or hasn’t, but I think for someone who was probably scared to their core, there will be a change to their, money mindset.

  • If they lost jobs or clients,
  • Were not able to continue to work or couldn’t pay their rent or mortgage. Their, money mindset, will shift to saving for a rainy day.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

We’ve heard so many different things happened. The income that I was relying on to make my month is evaporated or it’s down etc., but to me, it really is that, fight or flight, or life or death kind of an experience. On the other hand, we may want to totally push that out of our mind because it was such  an awful experience.  

I think for a lot of people who maybe saw, for the first time, at their own hand, how perilous their situation could become. I think those people have probably changed their, money mindset.

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What’s your success formula to change money mindset

Myrna: Great!!! You’re a financial planner. Do you want to share your, success formula, or how you help your clients to develop a relationship with their future self and change their, money mindset?

Michelle: What a, financial planner, does is to help you with, personal finance such as:

  • Plan for the rainy day,
  • Put away for retirement,
  • Save to buy a house,
  • You plan for vacations.

Myrna: That’s what you guys do, right? I understand you have a, success formula, can you share that? Like thinking about what resources did you bring to the table not just with, personal finance, but who did you know, what did you know etc..

Michelle: The, success formula, can be called your superpowers. We use the word superpower so much, but what part of you is special and unique? What do you bring to the table in every single one of your successes? We use that information to develop hope, optimism and resiliency.

What superpowers did you use to pull those things in when times when facing difficulty or you faced a challenge. How did you react when there was an upside surprise?

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All of those traits that I just described, in whatever way someone uses them, it’s so cool. I mean we’ve all got a special factor that’s so different from one another. If you just look at your own and you start picking it apart, you can see how I can pull on this thread when it comes to my money.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Your money superpowers is your success formula

It’s about figuring out what’s effective so that’s like the part of the expanded version of, personal finance. Financial Literacy, is what I would call it which is really kind of recognizing that we have a psychology and biology around in our brains and body around our, money. It’s not just understanding markets or investing or good sound, financial planning, or, risk management, or all of those things which are important, but it’s about your strengths.

Looking at the big picture and understanding someone’s background, who they are and are not with their, money, what their wishes are, what their values are, of course what the, money, is and then really digging into some of their, money mindset, about what makes them.

Myrna: So, that’s the, success formula.

Michelle: Yes, we use what makes you successful in other areas of your life and use the common thread to help you to be successful with your, money.

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Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts
Transform Your Mind Pocket Casts

The success formula challenge

Myrna: I understand that you have a website or a challenge to help the readers and those watching on TV. That would help them develop their, success formula. You want to talk about that?

Michelle: The best place for people to find me is my website, which is www.michelleab.com. Right on the home page is my, success formula, guide which anyone can download. Other channels that people can as well reach me or connect with me are on LinkedIn,

You can watch the full interview on the Transform Your Mind Podcast YouTube channel.

Also you can tune in at six o’clock Est every Sunday for our Preach the Word Network Television broadcast and of course you can listen in the radio WDJY 99.1 FM Wednesdays at 5p.m.

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Transform Your Mind PTWWN TV

Myrna: Thanks again Michelle. Thanks everyone for tuning in and until next time, blessings.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Additional Resources

Understanding the Rules of Economics and Money

Is True Wealth Financial Freedom?

 

Real Estate Investing with No Money

Real estate investing with no money

Real estate investor, Trainer Trevor Evans, teaches, how to invest in real estate with No Money. Trevor teaches, how to get funding for your deals, fix and flip,  your, investment properties, and, how to flip a house.

Watch the YouTube video to learn how to Invest in Real Estate from a, Rich Dad, real estate investor.

What you will learn about Real Estate Investing in this motivational video:

1. What are some strategies to purchase property for your,  real estate investing, business with little or no cash?

There are several way to do this. You can max out your credit cards, you can set up a lease to own deal, you can get seller financing.

2. What does, Hard money lenders, look for in a good deal?

They look for the ROI or return on investment

3. How do you make your deal attractive to a, Hard money lender?

Show that the resale value is at least 40% higher that the investment.

Strategies using other people’s money to fund your, real estate investments:

1. Using your credit cards to fund your deals. The more credit you have the better off you are!

2. Hard money Lenders,  Hard money lenders,  look at the asset and not at your credit score.

3. Borrow money from friends and family. You convert them into, Hard Money lenders, and pay them a good interest rate to start your, house flipping, business.

4. Borrow from your Whole Life Insurance policy.

2. Take a loan from your 401K.

3. Take out an Equity line of credit on your personal house.

 

The commonly used strategy in, real estate investing,  is the use of a, Hard Money Lender.

You need a, Hard money lender, for your, real estate investing, business. A money lender does not look at your credit, what does he look for?

1. Your expertise. Most, Hard money lenders, want you to have three investments under your name. This does not include your personal residence.

2. The ARV or after repair value. The property must have equity before the deal is made.

3. How did the property come on the market. Eg is it a Foreclosure, short sale or probate.

4. What is your, exit strategy? Is your, exit strategy, to, buy and hold, or, fix and flip?

5. How long you need to complete rehab work.

6. How much is the estimated cost of repairs.

 

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Hard Money Lender do not offer 100% Financing

Make no mistake, hard money lenders, need borrowers to deploy their capital and get a return on investment for their capital partners. They often enjoy repeat business, real estate investing, aren’t typically one-time borrowers, so asset-based lenders like, hard money lenders, or, private money lenders, value the business relationships they develop with quality borrowers.

Real estate investing, with no money down or little or no cash is to borrow from, Hard money lenders, who charge high interest for short term loans. When, hard money lenders, provide a loan, they want to be confident that the, borrower, is able to repay the loan on time. If the, borrower, isn’t able to pay back the loan, this creates a great deal of extra work, stress and potential financial loss for the lender. A strong, borrower, with a significant down payment (or equity in the property) and cash reserves has the best chance of obtaining a, hard money loan, and succeeding with their, real estate, project.

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Looking for a, Hard Money Lender? Here is an article from Connected Investors on how to get bids on your project.

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iHeart Radio

Connected Investors, the world’s largest, real estate investing, network and marketplace, today announced the launch of the first centralized real estate investment funding portal, CiX.com. The technology allows real estate investors to quickly and easily submit their deals to a network of asset-based lenders, ensuring the best terms for loans on their, investment properties.

Subscribe to the Transform you Mind podcast with Coach Myrna to get notification of all shows, Life coaching tips as well as Real Estate Investment tips and strategies.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/how-to-create-the-freedom-lifestyle-through-real-estate-investments/

How to Build Wealth with Turnkey Real Estate Investing

Real Estate Investing: Are Rental Properties worth the Admiration?

Investing in Rental Properties

Real Estate Investing, in Rental properties gets a lot of admiration because of, passive income.  Usually there is positive cash flow in, rental properties.

Joke of the day Rental properties 

A young woman, pursuing a graduate degree in art history, was going to Italy to study the country’s greatest works of art.
Since there was no one to look after her grandmother while she was away, she took the old lady with her.
At the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican, she pointed to the painting on the ceiling. ‘Grandma, it took Michelangelo a full four years to get that ceiling painted.’
‘Oh my, ‘the grandmother says.
‘He and I must have the same landlord!’

A few weeks ago I interviewed my co host Trevor Evans on the topic “The path to Financial Freedom” We received such an overwhelming response to that topic that I decided to have a spin off on, Real Estate Investing. This is episode #2 in the series: Real estate investing, “Funding, Fixing and Flipping. Is Owning, rental properties, worth the headache?

As a realtor for over 17 years, investing in, rental properties, has been my space up to this point. I own several rental properties and I also manage several rental properties.

My co-host for this podcast is Trevor Evans: Speaker/Trainer for Legacy Education Alliance and Rich Dad Education. Trevor is also an Entrepreneur, Real Estate Investor. Banker and Founder of Personal Awakening Brand “Being Normal Sucks.”

I met Trevor earlier in the year when I attended a Get Motivated Seminar and signed up for a 3 day, real estate investing, seminar. I met my co host Trevor Evans at this program and let’s say his vast knowledge on the subject of, real estate investing,  and, real estate, opened my mind to new opportunities.

I didn’t know what I didn’t know!

His knowledge base was extensive. I immediately enrolled in the Legacy Education Alliance, investing in real estate, training program.

Real Estate tip of the week

What is your best choice as a, real estate investment? From the book Your money and how to keep it by Brian Costello

Real Estate, will be a natural choice for many as an, real estate investment, vehicle. Generally, real estate, can be counted on to rise in value over a period of time. If you want short term investments, you can use short term investment vehicles like treasury bills. Other options are gold, commodities and the options market. Small investors are now also switching to Mutual funds because they offer a great deal of flexibility, and they can be cashed in at any time.
So, the best investment choice depends on your country laws as it relates to Capital Gains tax vs interest tax. In the USA and Canada, interest is taxable while you can make a lot of money tax free with capital gains.

Todays episode of Fund, Fix and Flip is sponsored by, Myrna Young Realtor 

Are you looking to invest in the south Florida market? The time is ripe for investors. Call Myrna Young  at Century 21 Selling Paradise 239-542-5777 for all your Wholesale or Rehab purchases, Buy and Hold, rental properties, or Property Management services. We are licensed in real estate and property management services and can also buy or lease your home. Don’t delay, Call today 239-542-5777

“Is Owning Rental properties worth the headache?” Show notes:

What are investors doing that is causing the headache?

  1. Not properly screening the tenant.
    Most investors are stressed to put a tenant into, rental  properties, because it costs to have a vacant property.
    That is the underlying reason that they short the screening process or decide to take a risk with a tenant. But it costs more to have the tenant removed and evicted, so the pain of a bad tenant lingers for a long time.
  2. Not understanding the renters mindset
    A renter does not have an owners mindset to take care of a property.
    The environment the rental is living in determines the mindset of the tenant. If you have a tenant in a single family home that is costing over $1500 per month.  That tenant has an owner’s mindset and would usually take care of the, rental property, as his own because he or she is probably an executive and is not renting because they can’t afford to buy.
  3. Know your tenant
    That allows you to skip inappropriate steps.
  4. Understanding the positive cash flow cycle
  5. Buy only properties that need remodeling instead of renovations
  6. Setting up warranty or replacement work directly with local scratch and dent shops
  7. Paying a flat fee to a Property Management company

Additional resources

Some resources for Real Estate Investors:
BiggerPockets: The Real Estate Investing Social Network. There are many free articles and forum threads all for free on how to get started in real estate investing.

https://www.mashvisor.com Use analytics to find lucrative traditional or Airbnb properties in a matter of minutes.

https://myhelpsrealestateinvestments.com/ – list of off market properties at discounted prices in Fort Myers, Fl and West Palm beach, Florida

Is True Wealth Financial Freedom?

The path to Financial Freedom

The path to, financial freedom, comes from the quality of our lives. This is, true wealth.
True wealth, does not depend on how much we accumulate, save, or spend our money.

True wealth, comes from who we are on the inside, and not by what we do, or what we have.

We cannot measure our self-worth by our net worth!

The first step to, financial freedom, is to make the mental shift, that your world in here, will be reflective of your world out there.

This week on Mindset Transformation radio, I interview Trevor Evans, teacher/trainer in real estate investments.

Here is a tip of the week Financial Freedom:

There are 2 types of people in regards to, wealth, one who is magnetized and full of confidence and know his potential, and the other is demagnetized and full of fear and doubt, and he tells himself I will fail, I could lose my money, people will talk about me behind my back etc. So, he does nothing. He takes no risks!

As you have probably figured out, the demagnetized man will never get very far.
I love the parable Jesus told about the man who was going on a long trip. He called his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone.
He gave 5 bags of silver to one, two bags of silver to another, and one bag of silver to the last.
The servant who received the five bags of silver began to invest the money and earned five more. The servant with two bags of silver also invested and earned two more; but the servant who received one bag, dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money.
When the master returned, he was full of praise for the two servants who invested his money and increased it; but the servant who gave him his money back with no increase he called “wicked and lazy.”
The moral of the story is the path to, financial freedom, is investing what you have to earn more.  Let your money work for you. Also it show those who use well what they are given, even more will be given to them; but those who take no risks and do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away.

There are 3 honest ways to financial freedom.

  1. The first is to work for it. The common consensus is that with a few exceptions you can never become, wealthy, working for someone else.
  2. The second way is to inherit it. For most of us, inheritance is not a sure bet.
  3. The third way to, financial freedom, and the most powerful way, is to invest it. Let your money work for you. Compound interest, is one of the most powerful tools in the accumulation of, wealth. Let it work for you. Do you know if you put $2000 in your 401k at 21 years old and let it grow with an annual compound interest of 10%; at age 65 it would have grown to over $1,000,000?

I love this article from Inc.com

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Financial freedom in America

Nassim Taleb said, “The three most harmful addictions are heroine, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” But salaries, fed through cubicle farms, are worse than addiction: salaries are slavery. While starting a company may emancipate you from salary slavery, most founders are enslaved to their startups — trading family time, personal health, and happiness for late nights, long commutes, and stress. So where’s this, financial freedom, in the Land of the Free?

This week on Mindset Transformation radio w/ coach Myrna and podcast, I interview Trevor Evans, Speaker/Trainer. Trevor is going to talk about the mindset of an investor, what you need to do to think like an investor and not an employee as well as some foundational tools of real estate investing.

Our sponsors for this episode are A&C Limousine service and Young Real Estate Investment services.
When in the greater Toronto area and ground transportation is needed, look no further. Contact A&C Limousine service for your luxury ground transportation. We will get you there safely and on time. Call 416-892-8336 and ask for Colin.

Are you looking to invest in the south Florida market? The time is ripe for investors. Call Young Real Estate Investment Services at 954-999-6125 for all your Sales, Rentals or Property Management services. We are licensed in real estate and property management and will buy or lease your house. Don’t delay, Call today 954-999-6125

Show notes Financial Freedom:

• Topic: What is, True Wealth: The Path to, Financial Freedom
1. Question 1: Tell us of your path to becoming a Speaker/Trainer for Legacy Education Alliance and Rich Dad Education.
2. Question 2: Before you become an investor, what mindset shifts must you overcome?
3. What I love about the Legacy training is that it focuses on understanding the market and how to use money and not just on the brick and mortar of Real Estate investing. It covers using credit card as an asset instead of a liability. So that is the first mindset shift I think we should discuss.
4. What is the second mindset shift you think is important to acquiring, wealth?
5. If someone listening to this show wants to start investing in, real estate, what advice would you give them and where should they start.
6. When I took your class, you spent the first 2 hours totally letting us wait for the information you know we all wanted to hear but you spent time teaching about Abraham Hicks vortex and frequency. Why was that important?

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Also please subscribe to my iTunes podcast and leave a review.
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Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/is-starting-a-real-estate-investment-llc-a-good-idea/

How to Get Started with Wholesaling

 

Wholesaling, is often marketed as a low-to-no cost way of getting into real estate investing and this can be true. A new, wholesaler, can certainly profit with a much lower initial cash outlay than a, real estate investor, who has to buy a property and rehab it.

In, wholesaling real estate, a real estate, wholesaler, contracts with a home seller, markets the home to his potential buyers, and assigns the contract to the buyer. The, wholesaler, makes a profit, which is the difference between the contracted price with the seller and the amount paid by the buyer.

What Exactly is Wholesaling Real Estate?

Wholesaling, is often marketed as a low-to-no cost way of getting into, real estate investing.  However, the successful, wholesaler, has to have a firm grasp of what makes for an attractive deal – once you understand this process of , wholesaling, it becomes much easier and can be broken down into a serious of repeatable steps.

Word from our sponsors:

Are you looking to invest in the south Florida market? The time is ripe for investors. Call MyHelps Real Estate Investment Services Services LLC at 954-999-6125 for all your Sales, Rentals or Property Management services. We are licensed in real estate and property management and will buy or lease your property. Don’t delay, Call today 954-999-6125

How to Build Wealth with Turnkey Real Estate Investing

My co-host today on this podcast is Trevor Evans.
Trevor is a Professional Speaker, Real Estate Investor, Retail Store Owner.
Speaker/Trainer for Rich Dad Education and Founder of Personal Awakening brand “Being Normal Sucks.” Trevor has also been married for 19 years and have 2 beautiful daughters ages 22 and 18.

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Living in financial abundance is one way to find happiness but not fulfillment.

You deserve happiness, and you CAN attain it.

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Show Notes:

How to get started with real estate wholesaling

Investors ready to learn how to start, wholesaling houses, will be happy to know the process is not complicated. Here are a few simple steps to get started, real estate wholesaling:

  1. Research your local market before getting started.
  2. Find a realtor with off market discounted properties.
  3. Secure a financing source that works best for you. This is usually a Hard Money Lender.
  4. Begin searching for potential, wholesaling, properties by driving for dollars.
  5. Decide whether to sell the contract or assign the contract.
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What is a step by step plan to becoming a Real Estate Wholesaler?

Step 1: Create a Database of buyers:

Contact local Rehabbers and Contractors and ask them what kind of properties they are looking for to rehab.
You can find them at your local Chamber of Commerce or your local REIA

Ask them these questions.
1. What kind of properties are they currently rehabbing?
2. Type of properties they like to work with Eg. Single family or multi family?
3. What are they certified to work on? Eg. Are they certified to work on burn down or water damaged properties?

Step 2: Put an AD on Craigslist
Ask the following questions when you get responses to your AD
1. Is the property listed with a Realtor?
2. Are you speaking with the owner of the property?
3. Is the property in, Foreclosure, probate, bank owned, or free and clear
4. Does the property need rehab? If so what is the estimated cost of repair.

Step 3: Put together your power team which includes your Title and Escrow Agent.
If you structure your deals properly, you could use one escrow deposit for 10 properties!

In our first episode you talk about process. You said that setting up a process prevents failure.
What is the process for the real estate Wholesaler?

Wholesaler Website: do you need one

My friends at Connected Investors wrote this article on Getting started with, real estate Wholesaling.

Wholesaling, is often touted as the easiest entry point into the world of, investing in real estate. And financially speaking the barriers to entry are generally a lot lower, especially when compared to fix and flipping or buy and hold investing. Many experienced, professional investors have door-knocked and bandit-signed their way up the REI ladder without having more than a cell phone, gas money, and the will to WIN. read more …

• If you found this blog post inspiring, please Subscribe, Rate and Review this Podcast, then send me an email to info@myhelps.us with the subject line “podcast review” and I send you a free gift.

Free eBook: Wholesale Plan of Action Cheat Sheet

This cheat sheet was created by Connected Investors and goes into further detail on the Wholesaling steps.

Additional Resources

http://blog.myhelps.us/is-starting-a-real-estate-investment-llc-a-good-idea/

How to Build Multiple Passive Income Streams

How to Overcome Fear and Find Joy

Fear, is an, energy, and thoughts are the most powerful, energy,  force in the universe.  Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of, negative thoughts, is, fear. It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
If you allow, fear, to linger in your body and in your mind, It will not only attract the thing you, fear, the most into your experience; but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to, negative thoughts, or, fear. Negative thoughts, transform your body into an acidic state.

Fear, is a, negative thought, magnified to the 1000th degree.

In, fear,  mode your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell!
Unfortunately, your brain cannot detect the difference between your imagination and reality, so the person in the grip of fear cannot tell the difference. They cannot tell that, fear, it is “False Evidence Appearing Real.”

Using Positive Energy to banish Fear

Today I want to teach you how to use, positive energy, to clear the, negative energy, of, fear. But first I want to review one of the Spiritual Laws of the Universe.

The Law of Sowing and Reaping

We all know of the physical laws like, Gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are Spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the spiritual “Law of Sowing and reaping” can change your world.
Understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world of your thoughts will manifest in the physical world.

Put another way, that means whatever you plant in the fertile soil of your mind, will manifest in your physical world.
Just like planting an apple tree. Except that in the spiritual world;

The soil is your mind, The seeds are your thoughts,
The water are your actions,
And The sun is your feelings.

If you allow, fear, to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.

Energy flows where Attention Goes

Whatever you focus on expands.

Fear is Negative Energy

Everything is, energy, and all, energy, attracts similar energies.
You can’t put out, negative energy, and expect positive results.
You can’t plant apple trees and expect oranges.

Likewise, you can’t focus on what you, fear, and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you, fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal Law of Reaping and Sowing, it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.
These are six words you must stamp on your mind

“You become what you think about”

When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.

How to overcome fear

Exercise: How to overcome fear, write down something that is opposite of what you, fear, and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your, fear.
Since light conquers darkness, it will eventually have your, fear, for lunch!

  • Imagine you having fun traveling the world in crystal clear clarity.
  • Say daily affirmations that compliments your desire.
  • Visualize your goal so much that sometimes you are not sure what is imagined and what is reality;
  • the same way that you let fear take you out of reality.
  • Don’t get disappointed if it takes time to perfect this. Remember that positive things take time to manifest,
  • it is the negative ones that show up quickly.

Weeds will sprout up, negative thoughts, of failure will sprout up.
So, every morning find the weeds and dig them up.

Remember a successful gardener will always cultivate his land.

Cultivate your mind for success.
Life is energy, whatever you put out, is returned to you.
The mind does not care what seeds you plant; it will always return what you plant.
You can plant wealth or you can plant poverty.
You can plant fear or you can plant happiness.

Here is an excerpt from the book: The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology:
The Buddha faced plenty of his own fear and terror of imminent death. This is a passage from the Buddha’s early writings that Jack Kornfield, a teacher who helped introduce Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West, quotes in his book.

How would it be if in the dark of the month, with no moon, I were to enter the most strange and frightening places, near tombs and in the thick of the forest, that I might come to understand fear and terror. And doing so, a wild animal would approach or the wind rustle the leaves and I would think, “Perhaps the fear and terror now comes.” And being resolved to dispel the hold of that fear and terror, I remained in whatever posture it arose, sitting or standing, walking or lying down. I did not change until I had faced that fear and terror in that very posture, until I was free of its hold upon me … And having this thought, I did so. By facing the, fear, and terror I became free.

Do not Fear: Definition of fear

Fear – False objects appearing real, as per the about passage, can be released by standing your ground. Our instinctive reaction to, fear, is to turn and run because as humans we are hard wired to run from pain and towards pleasure. But, as the Buddha teaches in the passage above if you stand and have the courage to not move, you become free you, let go of fear, and realize that your imagination is always worse than the reality.

Let me share a personal story on how I overcame, fear and, remove negative energy from home. 

When I first came to the United States of America, I came as a business owner. I did not have any of the benefits of a permanent resident. As my business was building, I decided to earn money as a sales person selling vacations. I was not authorized to work in the US, so I became very fearful of being found out and being deported. Every night I would dream that the immigration officials would come to my house and take me away in handcuffs. Sometimes I would dream that they would throw me in the back of the trunk.

One day, my pastor preached a sermon on, the fear factor. He said that God promises to carry your burdens, so give them to God. He said when you give your, fears, and heavy loads to God, you can’t worry or take them back because that would mean that you don’t have faith in God’s promise to carry them. He asked the congregation to write our, fears, and heavy burdens on a piece of paper and ceremoniously throw them at the alter giving them to God. I wrote my, fear, of being deported on a piece of paper and threw in on the alter. In doing so, I, let go of fear, and became free because I gave it away to someone else, God. The good news is that I no longer was afraid of anything. Every time something came up that would potentially me fearful, I would face it and know that it will work out for my good. I stood on the scripture “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you.”

Meditation to Let go of Fear

Sit quietly in a chair, be comfortable.
Place feet flat on the floor, hands clasped in your lap. Close your eyes. Be present. Focus on your breathing, feel your belly rise and fall under your clasped hands.
Breathe in for a count of 4 and breathe out for account of 6. Thus, slowing down your rhythmic cycles. Be mindful of the air as it passes through your nostrils down your esophagus and into your abdomen. If your mind wanders off bring it back gently to your breathe. Your mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Concentrating on your breathe bypasses your mind. Once you slow your cycles and quiet your mind, you are now in the receptive mode to change your programming.

Think briefly about something you, fear. Today we will use as our example the, fear of flying. Today we are going to use our imagination to replicate the experience of flying while you are sitting comfortably and safely in your chair.

Let’s begin. visualize you are at the airport with your loved ones, your husband and 2 children. You are on your way to Venice, Italy. You chose Venice because you wanted a romantic vacation with your husband. You can’t wait to ride on the Gondolas and be serenaded with live music, going to the opera and have the experience of taking a water taxi everywhere. You are excited. This energy is positive. You let this feeling of euphoria wash over you, you feel your body tingle with this positive energy. You feel good!
Now you are boarding the plane, you are starting to feel a little anxious. You board the plane and find your seat, you buckle yourself in. The pilot announces that your flight time is 6 hours and that he will be flying at a cruising altitude of 35,000 feet. He advises you to give your attention the flight attendant and pay attention to the safety information. You mentally note your exits. You listen to what to do in the event of a water landing! Your mind is going nuts with fear. Your heart starts to palpitate rapidly, you start to sweat.

Now the airplane is taxing down the runway at full speed, then lifts off the ground.
You squeeze your husband’s hand, you are hardly breathing, your whole body is tight. The plane is climbing it shakes a little. You are so scared the sweat starts dripping from your forehead. The plane reaches cruising altitude, the pilot turns off the fasten seat belt sign and people start moving about the plane. You calm down a little, but still aware of every movement of the plane. The flight attendants come around and offer beverages. You ask for a glass of wine. You drink it down in one gulp! You start to feel calmer. The flight is uneventful. After what seems like an eternity the pilot announces that in 30 minutes he will be starting his descent into Venice. Your fear returns, the plane shakes a little as it descends and you are once again in the grip of fear. The plane touches down and speeds down the runway braking speed. Your body is tight, your breathing shallow. Then it is all over. You faced your fear and came out on the other side! You exit the plane and you are in Venice!

I want you now to realize that you have taken your first flight in your mind.
I want you to realize that fear is false evidence appearing real.
I want you to realize that once you face your fear, like a bully, it backs down.
I want you to realize that the energy of fear is keeping you stuck.
I want you to realize that whatever your fear, just like we took a ride on an airplane and came out alive on the other side that is how all fear works. It has no real power over you. The only thing that is holding you back from doing the things you want to do is all in your mind. So, the only way the clear it is to start with the mind. Do a dress rehearsal in the mind and then do it in the physical.

The first step in How to overcome fear is to face the fear.

The second step is to clear it from the place it is planted in your mind. Take a moment now to ask your higher self where the fear of flying came from. When was the fear planted? When you get the answer, you may think to yourself, boy that was silly or you may have a legitimate reason to be afraid of flying. Someone you know could have died in a plane crash or you yourself could have been in a plane emergency landing. The thing to remember is that you know that every time you drive on the highway you could die and you are aware of thousands of people who have died in car accidents; yet few people have a fear of driving in a car.
So, consciousness is the second step.

The third step is to clear that energy by replacing it with, positive energy. We are going to use the, positive energy, of gratitude. Sit comfortably again. Imagine a bright light entering the crown of your head moving down through your check, down your throat to your chest, down your abdomen through your feet.
Feel this light fill all your energy centers as you become fully relaxed. Now expand this energy out from your chest past the room, past your city, past your country, past the clouds, past the sun, past the planet into the stratosphere. You are now floating in cyberspace. If you can bring your fear to mind in this space, do so now.

Then replace that feeling of fear with the feeling of gratitude. Gratitude that you are alive, gratitude that you are in your sound mind, gratitude that you have a place to sleep and food to eat. Gratitude that you are wealthier than 95% of the people in the world and you have the resources to travel to exotic destinations. Gratitude that you will not let fear rob you of your joy.
Now set the intention to fly to the first place on your bucket list within the year.

If you found this post helpful, I would love to hear your comments on what your fears are, and if you achieved a successful result transferring it with these exercises. Please share this podcast and blog post with friends and family and remember to subscribe and post a review.
Transform your Mind podcast is giving away a Free Checklist you can do every morning to replace your fears with positive affirmations.
To receive please subscribe, rate and review this podcast then send me an email to info@myhelps.us with the subject line iTunes review.
Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

Health is Wealth: How to lose weight without Dieting

Health is wealth, If you don’t have your, health, no amount of wealth can buy it. A healthy, weight, is an indication of health so today we are talking about, how to lose weight, without dieting.

Listen to full interview here:

 

Health is Wealth 

Think about it. Most of us dream about becoming wealthy but would you trade your ability to walk for a million dollars? I know I wouldn’t.

The second way we could look at the phrase, health is wealth, is that you can be healthy but poor and still be happy. On the flip side, you can have copious amounts of wealth,  but if you don’t have your, health, you  would willingly trade all your money to feel good or be healthy again.

So the message in this, health is wealth, series is, You can’t just trash your body and then try to alleviate the evidence of disease.

Download on Spotify

Healthy Weight Loss

Health, is not the absence of disease, disease is the absence of, health.

What is, health? According to the dictionary, health, is fitness of body or mind, and freedom from disease or ailment. It can be body fitness, or mental fitness.

What is wealth? In the same dictionary the meaning of, wealth, is stated as “a great quantity of money, valuable possessions, property, or other riches.

So in the first episode of this series we and going to unpack how your, health is your wealth,.  To start off this series, our  topic today is “How to Lose Weight, without dieting”

How to Lose Weight when you Have an Eating Disorder

Myrna – Dr Nina. What led you to do this work?

At a very young age, I suddenly and randomly developed an obsession with my size. I thought that my thighs should be thinner and I thought if my thighs were smaller, I would be perfect. By the way, I was a perfectly normal weight.  But I became convinced that thinner legs would somehow make me better.  This obsession just got worse as I got older and by the time I was an adolescent,  I had full blown, eating disorder.  My last thought at night was what did I eat today.  I would fall asleep counting the calories and fat grams of my food intake for the day and figuring how to, lose weight, 

The scale was my most welcome friend and my biggest enemy, it ruled my life.  So much so that when I went hiking with friends or did anything fun like dancing,  I would focus on how many calories I was burning instead of how much fun I was having.  I would be calculating how, to loose weight, 

Getting Therapy to Help Lose Weight 

I would restrict restrict myself of food and then eventually I would binge and then purge.   So finally I went to therapy.  I  would open up with my therapist about every aspect of my life except one, I never ever told her what was going on with me and food.  I went to my therapist once a week for three years and I never talked about what was going with my. eating disorders. 

 After some time in therapy, I became aware of my feelings.  I learned to process my emotions rather than to deny them.  I learned to use words to comfort myself instead of using words to criticize myself.  By the time I left therapy, I had zero, eating disorder, or, anorexia,  issues and No unhealthy relationship to food. The amazing thing about this is that not once did I ever talked about food to my therapist.  When I fixed my emotional issues, I fixed my, anorexia.  So the answer to the question How to, lose weight, without, dieting, is first learning how to process your emotions instead of stuffing them down with food. 

People ask me all the time. How did you recover from three, eating disorders, that consumed your life without ever talking about it?  How is that possible?  The answer is that whatever was going on with food and my, eating disorders, was a symptom of the actual problem, not the problem.  When I  learned different ways of coping with what was going on with me, I cured my, eating disorders including, anorexia.  

How to, lose weight, by understanding why you eat certain finds of foods 

 I developed this formula to help people figure out you know what is eating them out.  

  • If you like creamy foods like ice cream or frozen yogurt or pudding. It suggests a longing for comfort or nurturing. Limit your exposure to these foods to, lose weight,. 
  • If you like foods that like bread, pasta, cake, pizza those are correlated to loneliness since they are  bulky and they symbolically filling an internal void.  Fill your internal void by finding a hobby. Doing something you like instead of eating. It will help you to, lose weight, 
  • Finally, foods  that are crunchy like chips or pretzels, anything with a crunch suggest you are angry. Dealing with your anger in a healthy way will help you to, lose weight. 

 The best way to deal with the triggers of emotional eating is try to understand where they’re coming from.  It is the first step. The next step is to deal with those an underlying feelings of lack of self worth. 

  • How do you see yourself? 
  • How do you feel your loneliness? 
  • How do you express your anger?  
  • How do you deal with what you are feeling? 

Weight Loss Tips 

Nurture  yourself with words instead of ice cream.  If you use mean words to describe yourself and then you nurture yourself with food, it becomes a viscous cycle. You eat the ice cream and you call yourself nasty words for being so weak, then you eat again to comfort yourself.  

When you feel good about yourself it’s easier to be good to yourself.  

Self acceptance is the key. 

The most practical thing that you can do, is to throw out your scale. It is a tyrant, it does not measure your value, it ruins your day. It has too much power over you,  so getting it out of your life is a very powerful stance that you can take on your own behalf. 

Download to listen to the rest of this powerful interview and learn five main reasons for diet sabotage.

Download and subscribe to hear all episodes in this series. 

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Additional Resources

How to Reprogram your Mind to Stop Binge Eating

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322345.php

http://blog.myhelps.us/detoxing-both-the-body-and-soul/

http://blog.myhelps.us/tips-to-change-your-skin-change-your-life/