How To Be Loving And Live From The Heart

Danielle Laporte loving from the heart

I wanted to be useful and connected and, loving, no matter what’s going on with me emotionally, no matter what’s going on with the other person, no matter what’s going on in the world. And that requires  a higher vibration.  Lots of mystics talk about love, being a state of consciousness.  What that means  is, love is not a feeling, love is higher vibration.

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Bio

Danielle LaPorte needs little introduction. Oprah Winfrey has said she “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters,” while Marianne Williamson has called her “a bright light in the modern priestess hood.’ As the founder of DanielleLaPorte.com, ranked by Forbes as one of the Top 100 Websites for Women and visited by millions of people each month, Danielle is one of the most critically acclaimed spiritual thought leaders of our time.

With her highly anticipated new book, How to Be Loving as Your Heart is Breaking Open and The World is Waking Up, releasing October 11 2022, Danielle has written the modern day manifesto on how to uncondition your mind from all kinds of social programming, tap into the intelligence of the heart, and elevate your life through the quality of your own thoughts.

Myrna: What is your journey from making love a priority in your life? How did that come about?

Danielle: For a long time, I was led by the question, how do I want to feel? And now the question is what do I want to embody? And the journey there was me realizing that even if I was having a bad day and wasn’t in a state of happiness, wasn’t feeling like the way I wanted to feel. I still felt connected to something higher and more meaningful. But really, the light bulb was when I realized that, I could still be useful to my friends, even if I was in the dark night of my soul. And then it occurred to me maybe this whole happiness thing, the end game, it’s important.

And I wanted to be useful and connected and loving, no matter what’s going on with me emotionally, no matter what’s going on with the other person, no matter what’s going on in the world. And that requires like a higher vibration. And you know, lots of mystics talk about love, of course, being a state of consciousness, but what that brings us to is, love is not a feeling, love is higher vibration.

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Power of Love: Intelligence of the heart

Myrna: Well, it’s very hard. They always say that that happiness is not an external thing. You know, it comes from inside and even if you have an, external locus of control, which is basically where your happiness depends on other people, circumstances or things. It’s only going to be temporary, because those things can’t continue for too long. Which is why they say that your happiness has to come from inside. And that means that whatever is going on outside, it’s not going to bother you. But it’s extremely, hard to do. You almost have to be like an enlightened being. That’s the, power of love and the intelligence of the heart.

Danielle: Everybody’s a little enlightened, the Zen Buddhist philosophy is everybody’s enlightened, we just have forgotten.

Myrna: Yes, we don’t operate in it because we forgotten.  So, that was your journey into becoming, loving. You wanted to feel good all the time. You wanted to embody you. You learned, how to live from the heart, gratitude and, vibration. You talk about, vibration. Wayne Dyer talks about, vibration. Abraham Hicks talks about, vibration.  What kind of work did you do to make sure your, vibration, is good?

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Loving yourself through the heartbreak

Danielle: It’s not so much that I want to feel good all the time. Who wants to suffer, I don’t want to suffer. Right? But it’s a place of even if you are suffering and you’re not feeling good, you’re in a state of acceptance with it. It’s like, okay, this is what’s happening. I’m gonna love myself through this. I created this. I’m not going to push it away. I’m going to bring it into my, heart. I’m going to have space for it. I’m going to be more gentle with it. I’m going to speak to myself more lovingly. But more specifically to your question about how to get there.

Well, I think it’s a lifelong journey, but certainly, big challenges questioning if, am I in the right career? Is this the faith that I should be holding?  Suffering that leads us to meaningfulness and purpose. There are those challenging circumstances and then there’s just dedication. Like I want to know truth. I want to be love. No matter what, I’m committed.

My commitment, doesn’t mean it’s always easy, but I do the things that I know makes me more compassionate and more forgiving. And those things are ancient tools that have been around a long, long time. Contemplation, it’s a prayer practice. It’s, sifting through all the different practices and types of, meditation, until I found the kind of, meditation practice, that I actually wanted to do, that made me feel like energized and lit up.

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How to tap into heart intelligence

Myrna: I know that acceptance is very important. And it’s very important to accept your loved ones. Because a lot of times we get into relationships, and we want to change people and we don’t accept them. But yeah, talking about accepting suffering. That is deep.

How do we tap into, heart intelligence? One of the most powerful books that I’ve read is “The Alchemist.” The entire book is about listening to your, heart, and, how to live from the heart. I thought that we were supposed to listen to your gut. Your gut is what tells you when something is wrong, but listening to your, heart. This is a great because we are tapping to the, intelligence of the heart. It’s amazing.

Danielle: It’s important to make that distinction between the gut and, heart because gut is more instinct. The gut is gonna say run from danger. This is basic survival stuff. But we don’t want to be in that survival mode every day. We want to be in a state. So just like move it up. The, chakra system, moving on up your body move into the, heart.  Everybody knows on a cellular, psychological level, what love is and what it feels like to be connected to soul, to be connected to others, to be giving and receiving loving kindness.

We just have to be still and we have to connect to the, heart, space, heart chakra, and higher consciousness. There’s no fear just presence. Don’t worry about tomorrow, don’t worry about the rent not right this moment. And you move into that gentleness that calms down your nervous system, both your, parasympathetic, and your, central nervous system. When your nervous system is calm you think more clearly. You’re not all panicked, or jacked up with anxiety and then you make more, loving choices.  Loving choices, which all comes from quality of thought. You reference Dr. Wayne Dyer. Dr Dyer had a lot to say about the thoughts we think.

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Can everyone be loving?

Myrna: Right, that’s amazing. Now, I want to circle back to something you said that everybody knows what it’s like to give and receive love. Do you think that everybody knows that? Because there’s a lot of people that don’t love themselves and I believe that if you don’t love yourself you actually can’t give and receive love.

Danielle: Okay, there’s two things in there. I think in our depths, we do know love. And I think to get to the depths of love, we have to plumb those depths. You got to be still, you’ve got to get yourself in nature. You’ve got to ask those questions. It’s in there. The truth is in there. Is it buried? Absolutely. Do we doubt it? Yes, we have lots of so called evidence from how we’re raised in society that is not a loving place to be? Totally, but it’s the truth is eternal? It’s in there, you’re gonna find it.

You just got to look for what was that? Oh, loving other people and loving yourself? Yeah, I’ve thought about this very specifically for a while. Because you know, in this in our self-help space, there’s that theory of like, don’t fall in love with someone who doesn’t love themselves because they’re not gonna love you properly. I think it’s half-truth because we’re all one. We all come from the same source, and we’re all connected.

Then does it really matter if I’m loving myself first, but if I’m loving you first, and I’ve witnessed people who clearly had on a surface level, self-esteem issues, broken, not loving themselves, and I have seen them be, loving. Learn to love someone in their community. Learn to love the person who abandoned them. And it changed their whole way of living, obviously, with a lot of work, digging in and plumbing it out.

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Do you have heart intelligence?

Myrna: So how do we tap into the, intelligence of the heart? Is it through meditation or how do we do it?

Danielle: Yeah, It’s the practices. First you gotta want it. Want to sleep through the night? Do you want to be peaceful? Do you want to have more intimate conversations?  Want to know your real power? Awesome, great. There are some things you can do.  Find a, meditation, practice that works for you. Not one where you sit down on the, meditation cushion, and you hate being there and it’s grueling and you don’t feel lit up or expanded. That’s just like New Age punishment. Find a, prayer practice, that works for you.

Guided meditation heart center, is heart centering, prayer, and time for stillness.  Our society is obsessed with being productive and it pulls us away from our wisdom. You need to be still to hear your, higher guidance. If you are always moving, you are going to get confusing information. So, stillness could be as simple as 15 minutes in the morning before anybody else in your house wakes up. Or it’s for those of us who have done, yoga, the last pose. It doesn’t matter how sweaty and bendy your, yoga, class was, the last pose is always, corpse pose. You just lie there in stillness. And people think, oh, this is my break. But actually that, corpse pose, the great, yoga, teachers tell you everything is moving towards that stillness.

So that you get to integrate all the work you did with your body and your mind. So, the end of the day, you ask yourself, what do you learn today? Who do you love? How did you get a little more time? What are you grateful for? That’s integrating lessons of the day. And then you don’t need to repeat the same lessons. Ideally, tomorrow you start fresh. Yeah. So, practices.

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Loving yourself through your meditation practice

Myrna: Well, my, meditation practice, is sitting and concentrating on the breath. Sometimes I do a, walking meditation, because I walk in the park and there’s a wooded area that I walk through. And when I’m in there, I’m talking to God and I am visualizing some of the things I want to manifest.  What do you think about a, walking meditation?

Danielle: I have a very similar practice. It’s more of a working meditation. There’s lots of, prayer, in my life. There’s definitely, breathwork, for sure. I pray and meditate and it’s all mostly focused on being of service and healing. And I know that as I’m doing that, doing the work, getting closer to God and being more aware, I’m getting healed as well.

I use the light of the sun in, meditation, as well. The sun is very powerful. My belief this is, through some research into mysticism, because the soul is really the source. The sun is really the symbol, if not the embodiment, of the collective soul. And then in all the, meditations, that I’ve designed, I work with an energy healer that I’ve been with for many years, we co create all of these, meditation experiences, which is part of my offering. Almost every, meditation, begins with seeing this golden light, the sun. That is the symbol, the visual of your soul’s vastness. Your only job really, is to just bask in that light, you don’t have to reach for that light. You don’t even have to amplify that light.

The God source is always trying to find you, wants to get into every thought and every crevice, just bow down at your intention. I’m going to be aligned today. I’m going for this walk. And you step into it and you just receive the guidance.

Myrna; Beautiful, I’m in the self-improvement space and I know that, meditation, works for me, because one of the one of the byproducts of, meditation, is that you don’t get upset very often and you’re always in a calm space.

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What is heart centered manifesting?

Danielle: Heart centered manifesting, you come up with a visual. You think it through every day. You see it, feel it, taste it, you really bring it to life. And you just keep watering it, anybody can manifest anything, there is a basic science of, manifesting. You don’t have to be enlightened. You don’t have to be a good person. You don’t have to have great intentions. If you want the car and you think about it enough. You will manifest the car.

I’m interested in is what I would call, heart centered manifesting, because I think ego centered manifesting has really gotten a lot of us into a lot of trouble. And it’s not very fulfilling ultimately. So, it’s like heart centered vision. comes from a place of knowing that your happiness matters to me that we all come from the same source. So, if I get the car, how is that going to be a benefit or harmful to others?  So, what’s your vision got to do with everybody else? That’s a really basic great question to ask. How does your fulfillment lead to the fulfillment of others or does it take from others? My belief is that we have a, heart centered vision, and you can still want all the same things.

You can still want the car and the relationship and the money, whatever it is. When it’s on behalf of being of service, I think the soul is going to help lead you to more fulfillment. So, when you get the car, let’s just keep using that example. Maybe you’re doing some meals on wheels or maybe it’s just that you’re happier, more relaxed, and you’re better in your community. Maybe that car actually helps you be a more chill, loving mother, whatever it is, somehow your happiness is kind of spilling over.

Whereas if that was an ego goal to just get the car, going to get the car and you’re gonna want to the next thing, no lasting fulfillment. Soon you’re gonna want a better car. You’re gonna need the car and you’re gonna need the handbag. Then you need the likes on Instagram on and on. Heart centered manifesting, relax and it comes.

book How to be loving
book How to be loving

Book: How To Be Loving as your Heart is Breaking Open and the World is Waking up 

Myrna: Well, that’s actually pretty good. Tell us about your book “How to be Loving as your heart is breaking open and the World is Waking Up” Why did you write it? What do you want readers to walk away with after reading? And how can you know listeners pick up a copy of it?

Danielle: This is what I want to have happen. I want to get gazillion emails for years of people telling me things like, I read you book how to be loving and forgive my mother or I speak more gently to myself, or I got over this heartbreak or I finally started asking my neighbor what they need. I just want to I want to hear those stories of how my book helped others become, loving.

I wrote it because it’s my first book in five years. I know lots of people are saying, Wow, this is so timely, did you know, the world was gonna fall apart? I did not know the world was gonna be in the state that it was in. It is on time, right?

Myrna: Yes. So, yeah. Now, part of the title is when your heart is breaking open, so and you said something a minute ago about, your heart is breaking but you’re still loving yourself. Is that part of it? Is it for people with a broken heart to love themselves?

Danielle: I think that’s in reference to we think we’re falling apart when we’re heartbroken, whether it’s the state of our community or an ending relationship or we get canned from a job; you’re not actually breaking, you’re expanding. All that heartbreak is showing you what you’re made of. It’s showing you where all the love, the real love is in your life, how capable you are. It’s a spiritual emergence.

My website is www.Daniellelaporte.com. I’m Danielle Laporte on Instagram. I’m there all the time. I have a membership, beautiful membership program called heart centered membership.

It’s like a spiritual support system. And we also have a program called the heart centered leadership program where we’ve got this really gorgeous curriculum of workshops, conversation starters, for coaches and HR directors and Unitarian, so it’s being used at really high levels of business. It’s being used in yoga studios.

Additional Resources

How to Love Yourself and Heal The Body

A New Way Of Life After Oil and Soil Crises

A New Way of life after crises

In his book A new way of life, Author Samy Barnat talks about life after crises.  He discusses the, climate change crisis, water crisis, economics crisis, war crisis, pandemic crisis and , oil degradation crisis.

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Bio:

Samy Barnat is the author of A New Way of Life: Be the Solution to the Crises we Face: Increasing Deaths from Climate Change, Lack of Water and Food, Economic Crises, Fake Democracy, Risk of War, and Future Pandemics.

Samy Barnat is an independent multidisciplinary researcher in human sciences. His multi-disciplinary background (psychology, politics, economics, philosophy) gives him a rare global vision that many experts lack. His independent research incorporates outside the box thinking. Both precious elements for finding global solutions to the global crises we face.

The soil fertility crisis

Samy: If you have the best, mindset, but your environment is toxic, and we have a toxic society, that’s kind of a big problem.

Is there a job for everybody?

It’s a simple question, you can have the best, mindset, possible but if the economy is structured in a way that there is not a job for everybody and we have little money, you’re going to be stressed. Or if you are constantly having anxiety of being fired. It’s also the way the environment is being destroyed, the, crises, is we are destroying our environment. Very few people know that, soil fertility, is a growing problem. The, soil, is being destroyed by the way we do agriculture now.

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Sadhguru save soil initiative

Myrna: Yeah, I have just become aware of #savesoil, Sadhguru is traveling 30,000 KLM to promote, save soil. I interviewed a member of his team a couple weeks ago. Yeah, we’re talking about food. We’re going to talk about your book, A New Way of Life, later on. How is politics and Philosophy connected?

Samy: Everything is kind of connected. That’s something I think we are all starting to realize that everything is kind of connected. Your mental health is connected to politics and economics, because if you don’t have enough money, you’re going to get stressed and if the environment is not fueling growth, you are going to be stressed.

If you are worried that your kids are not going to have a good future, because you can’t afford their education, you are going to be stressed. That is why politics and Philosophy are connected. It takes leaders like Sadhguru to increase awareness.

Myrna: I see what you mean, because the politicians are directing our future. Whether it’s health care, getting rid of student loans or price of oil. I thought you were saying that politicians, use psychology to get us to vote for them.

Samy: Absolutely, you’re totally right and in a very manipulative way.

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The personal development crisis

Myrna: I like what you said about having a, healthy mindset, is very important for, personal development. Personal development, is a big topic. I’m in the, personal development, space and the, mindset, space. The mind dictates everything. What we believe dictates our level of development, because most people don’t do the work to control their, mind. What is a healthy mindset? How does our, mindset, control anxiety and stress?

Samy: The idea is simple. It’s just we have, positive emotions. And it’s very important to understand this. I mean science it’s only about principles. When you study science, you study principles, it’s like the laws of nature and gravitation in physics. Our, emotions, have their own loads which were created by God.

You have, positive emotions, when your, desires, are realized. And you have, negative emotions, when your, desires, are not realized. So, for example, a baby cries because a, desire, of food is not realized. As an adult if you have an objective, to study and to pass an exam and you fail the exam, you have, negative emotions. You can find as many examples as you want; but the essence it’s about, desire. So, as a result, we have to be extremely careful what we, desire, because if we have impossible, desires, we suffer from anxiety and stress.

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Desire and our emotions

So first of all, we have to be careful what we, desire. We need to make sure we have, realistic desires, all the time, so many people don’t do that. It’s better to reduce your objective. So at least you will be in peace emotionally. You know what I mean? Because you don’t want to be suffering all the time. We should question everything in the light of this principle, ambition.

And deeper than that, it’s our personality, and that I think so many people need to hear this. So basically, our, personality, or what so many of us call our, personality. It’s kind of a, desire, which we were told.

So, for example, so many people, they have a, desire, to be the best and they think that’s who I am. I want to be the best. I’m the best, they have this, internal dialogue. It’s a program really, it’s an, unconscious program. And it was taught by their parents as a kind of a, life strategy. If you try to be the best, at least you can get the best job, the best partner etc.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

The type A personality crisis

They don’t realize that a, type A personality, is  actually the cause of their pain. If your, desires, are not realized, you have, negative emotion. So, if you try to always be the best, it’s just impossible. So, every time you’re going to feel like you’re not the best, you’re going to feel sadness, stress, anxiety. It’s kind of a, crises, of constant stress, and you don’t understand why. You don’t know where it comes from. It actually coming from what you call your, personality.

But it’s not your, personality.  As a human being you are able to recreate yourself all the time, to adapt all the time. So, you should absolutely not cling on to an, unhealthy desire, which is to be the best. This is a, crises.

Myrna what you are doing is very helpful in the, personal development, space. It’s about, NLP, neuro linguistic programming, which is simply, reprogramming our mind. It simply reprogramming with new words, new desires, a new personality, etc. Like saying no,  I’m not always the best, sometimes I’m weak, I’m not always clever, sometimes I am stupid.

Myrna: So basically, it’s about, reprogramming our mind with, affirmations.

Book A new Way Of Life solutions to the crises we face
Book A new Way Of Life solutions to the crises we face

A New Way of Life A solution to the crises we face

Myrna: Tell us about your book, A New Way of Life Be The Solution to the, Crises. Tell me what made you write the book? We face many, Crises. You talk about,

  • climate change crisis
  • lack of water crisis
  • economics crisis
  • war crisis
  • pandemic crisis
  • Soil degradation crisis

We have a lot of crises So, tell us what solutions you offer in your book?

Samy: Okay, so yeah, so, basically, I’ll start with what I think are the most urgent, crises, and then we can move on from there. So, the, soil degradation, crisis,  it’s something we hear so little about in the media. It’s so important because the way we do agriculture is actually destroying the, soil. So, in the world you have a lot of places where this desertification has started.

Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Soil desertification has started

So, the soil is becoming sand. It’s not very productive in terms of food, and that’s a big deal. A, crisis, will start to emerge in a more dramatic way. We are all going to be affected by that. We cannot just rely on our politicians to take care of these big issues.

We’ve seen it with, climate change, for example. They knew about, climate change, for 30 years, and they have done very little because of the lobbyists who put pressure on politicians and big corporations like Exxon.  They don’t want to do anything about, climate change, because it was going to make them lose money.

The other, crisis, we need to worry about is the end of the end of, oil. Our life is based on, oil. Food is produced with, oil, agricultural machines need, oil. Everywhere in the world, more than 60% of the population were working as farmers. So that gives you an idea of society before, oil.

Oil, is everywhere, all the products, almost the job of everybody is completely relying on, oil. All the products are imported with, oil, for trucks, and boats from the other side of the world. And that includes food or whatever you sell, whatever your company’s selling, it’s relying on, oil, so when we go towards the end, it means it basically means the collapse of the economy.

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

The oil crisis

Myrna: I understand about the, soil, because they are depleting the nutrients of the, soil. And the soil is becoming sand. I don’t understand an, oil crisis, because, oil, is supposed to be limitless. Why are you saying that we’re going to run out of it?

Samy: So, you know, all resources are limited. I mean, half our planet is finite. It’s limited.

Myrna: Oil, is all over the place. All you got to do is dig. They just found, oil in Guyana. Apparently, you can go dig in your backyard and might find, oil.

Samy: Okay, so you can see the graph showing discoveries. The peak of discoveries was quite a long time ago. So, it means since that time, we discover every year less and less, oil. We still discover some, but the question is, is it going to be enough for the global economy? It’s a question of quantity.

Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast
Deezer Transform Your Mind Podcast

Will oil be depleted in 30 years?

Myrna: Politicians are looking at ways to not use, oil. They’re looking at energy efficient ways. So that’s what they’re starting because maybe they know that maybe in 30 years or something, the, oil, will be depleted. But I personally think that we live in an abundant world, that everything that we need is right here, and it’s not limited.

Samy: Yeah, so the, oil crises, I’m speaking about, the data came from people working in BP, and Shell Exxon. They give me numbers about when we will reach the end of, oil. You can you can check this on internet because those reports are for free. But it gives us a rough estimation, the end of, oil, would be around 30 years around 2050. But what we should worry about is the end of, cheap oil, because even if we still have, oil, if it becomes too expensive then that it is the end and society collapses.

For example, we’ve seen now in Spain, it gives us a glimpse of the future. Because of the, war with Russia, the supply of oil in Europe is limited. Okay, so in Spain, what happened is that truck drivers, the oil increased so much that they could they couldn’t earn a living. They basically had more charges, compared to earnings, so they stopped working.

Myrna: it was happening in the US too. A lot of truck drivers protested at the Canadian border for same reason, gas prices too high.  The diesel fuel is twice that of regular gas.

Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict
Transform Your Mind Podcast Addict

Solutions to the oil crisis

Samy: This gives us a glimpse into the future, the end of, cheap oil, will affect our lives. Oil, is the basis of modern society.

Myrna: Okay, all right. So that’s a good reason for people to get your book.  So, do you offer solutions in your book? What was the reason you wrote the book, and what do you want people to walk away with after reading your book?

Samy: So basically, it’s about preparing your family. I’m saying the first thing you should worry about is your family. In France, there’s much more awareness on this topic and many people they have started to buy land. You need land because when society collapses it is going to be violent. When you don’t have food, people fight.

The second solution would be to have your local community prepare for the, oil crisis.  So, it’s kind of the solution I’m giving in the book. So basically, what I’m saying is we need a new way of doing politics.

Conclusion

Myrna; All right, tell people where they can get your book so they can get your solutions to all these, crises.

Samy: So basically, if you go on https://samybarnat.com/ you will find links to all social media and the book, so you can you can just get there.

Myrna: Okay, all right. Okay. All right. So yes, and of course, the book is available on Amazon. So yeah, it’s me. It’s been we had a really good conversation and we covered a multitude of topics. I specifically love your take on why people are happy or unhappy. Thank you.

Additional Resources

Transform Your Mind With Alchemy

 

How To Be Happy: The Happiness Recipe

The, happiness recipe, is super simple. Do more of what matters to you, and less of the rest.

Simple, though obviously doesn’t mean easy. There’s a lot that goes into that very short phrase and into the execution of that very short phrase.   Becky Morrison is a mom, wife and lawyer turned, Happiness Coach has identified what she thinks are the three areas that stop us from executing on this, happiness recipe.

Download the podcast Here:

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9860644-how-to-be-happy-the-happiness-recipe.mp3?download=true

Bio

Becky Morrison is a mom, wife and lawyer turned, Happiness Coach. Her mission is to spread joy. She believes most people can live happier, easier lives if they get clear on what matters most to them and then develop a plan to do more of that and less of the rest. She wants to enable people to find clarity and happiness, so everyone wins.

Now she’s using her experience coupled with her own journey to help people supercharge their success and happiness by: finding clarity; taking the next steps in their career; overcoming overwhelm; going from idea to action; and, stepping into their authentic leadership presence.

Becky brings together all her learnings in her recently published book ‘The Happiness Recipe: A Powerful Guide to Living What Matters’.

Book The Happiness Recipe
Book The Happiness Recipe

From Lawyer to Happiness Coach

Myrna: Your story of coming from corporate lawyer to, happiness coach, reminds me of the first book I read in my quest for enlightenment and, personal growth. And that is the book called from Robin Sharma that’s called “The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.”

So, for those who didn’t know Robin Sharma, the character in the book is a corporate lawyer who had a heart attack. And then he went to live with amongst the monks in the Himalayan mountains and he changed his life.  So, how did it happen for you?

Becky: Well, I mean, it was not quite that glamorous or fun for me, but it is a story of evolution and, transformation. And it starts with me doing what a lot of us do, which is doing all the things I thought I was supposed to do.

  • Going to the good school,
  • getting the good grades,
  • getting the job,
  • going back to graduate school to become an attorney,
  • then getting the job at the big law firm with the big paycheck to be on the partnership track.
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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM
Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Does checking the right boxes lead to happiness

Then one night 16 years later, I found myself sitting on the floor of the bathroom, with a toddler in the tub, and the cordless phone clip to the back of my pants, and the toilet seat cover down with a notebook on it and papers spread all around me. And I was doing two things at the same time. I was bathing my toddler daughter and trying to prepare an expert witness for their upcoming deposition.

I had two thoughts in super quick succession. The first thought was, who says you can’t do it all? Look at me. I’m a mom, I’m a lawyer. I’m here. I’m killing it. This is amazing. That was quickly followed by and I’m exhausted. Is this unsustainable? And perhaps more importantly, and more scarily, I’m not sure this is making me happy.

And that kicked off my own quest for, transformation, and, personal growth.  I had to figure out, well, okay, what does it mean, if I’ve done all of the things that I was supposed to do? And I checked all the boxes? And I’m not happy?

Transform your mind PTWWN TV
PTWWN TV – The Happiness Recipe

Where does happiness come from?

What the heck does, happiness, come from then? If it’s not from success? If it’s not from the results?

You talked about, happiness, is working towards a purpose or a goal.

  • What am I working towards here?
  • Why am I here In this season of my life?
  • What is my top priority?
  • What is the most important thing?

I panicked. And I started to think about what can I do? And the reality is, I can do a lot of things. I’m a lawyer, with a ton of management experience, a whole bunch of process experience. I’ve been a CEO, I mean, the list of jobs that I could apply for is pretty long. And thankfully, I had some voices in my life who said, timeout?

This is an opportunity, what do you want to do? Not what can you do, but what do you want to do? And that’s how I landed in this business of helping other people chart their success and, happiness.

The Definition of happiness

Myrna: That’s a good story. I love your evolution. One of the things I will add is when you’re in a tub bathing your child and doing work, you’re not giving her the attention she deserves.

Becky:  So true, I wasn’t fully focused on one or the other. I had split focus and split focus is not efficient, effective or meaningful.

Myrna: So right. Yes, that’s what mothers do. You know, they have one of the hips and they’re doing it all.  So, that moment was the start of your, your evolution, your, transformation. You asked yourself the question Is this making me happy?  I’m working towards a goal. I’m working towards partnership, you’re immediately disrupting my, definition of happiness.

My, definition of happiness, is working steadily towards a goal or purpose

I guess the other part of that is, fulfillment. And somehow your work wasn’t hitting the, fulfillment, button inside.

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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

How do we identify the essential sources of happiness?

Becky: How do we find our essential, sources of happiness? I have a little exercise that I like to do with people that might seem silly or small, but it’s not. And it’s about developing a menu of things that you can do, that are easy and accessible, that you know, are going to create a positive emotional experience for you.

We can use Oprah’s, sources of happiness, sitting in the bathtub.  We need to do to get down to the essential, sources of our joy, or have those positive emotional experiences is to ask a few more questions. Get down to the simple things that you can do to add, happiness, into your daily life.

When I’m sitting with a client is ask them to brainstorm a list of five to seven things that are their, sources of happiness. I ask them not to judge because on my list, one of my, sources of happiness, is clean sheets!

Then taking one on that list and asking yourself, what about that makes me happy? So, take the Oprah example. What about being in the bathtub that brings you, happiness?

  • Is it the solitude?
  • Is it the warmth of my water?
  • Is it the time with my thoughts?
  • There’s something more than just the bathtub that brings you, happiness.
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Download on Spotify

Invite your nervous system to become a partner in your happiness?

Becky: Happiness, makes you feel good or, or when you’re doing the things that make you happy in that moment, right? You feel good, and it helps with your health, and it helps with resilience and all that. But your nervous system is a little different.

A lot of times more, happiness, for us lives on the other side of some sort of change. Whether it’s change in behavior, change in circumstance, change in mindset. And at the most basic level, one of the important jobs that our nervous system plays is to keep us safe, literally, to keep us alive. That’s where the, fight or flight, response, comes from.

Often when we’re trying to make a change, it can feel uncomfortable and unpleasant, because it is our, nervous system, is saying, no, no, no, please don’t. I know how to keep you safe; this new activity is not safe.  I have no data on it. So, often we mistake that discomfort as a sign that we shouldn’t do it.

Myrna: That’s true that our brain’s function is to warn us about impending danger and to keep us safe. Which is why One of the first things I learned myself on my journey of self-improvement is you got to get out your, comfort zone, because whenever you sit In your comfort zone you’re not moving, and you’re not growing.

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Transform Your Mind iHeart Radio
iHeart Radio

The happiness recipe

What is the, happiness recipe?

Becky: Sometimes I worry that when I say the, happiness recipe, people are going to be like, That’s it?  But here’s the deal. And you’ve sort of set it in your definition. But the recipe for maximum, happiness, is super simple.

Do more of what matters to you, and less of the rest.

Simple, though, obviously, doesn’t mean easy. There’s a lot that goes into that very short phrase and into it’s execution.  I’ve identified what I think are  the three areas of the, happiness recipe. Three areas where there can be gaps that stop us from executing on the, happiness recipe.

  1. And the first is what I call the, authenticity gap. Do we know what matters most to us? And are we willing to claim it publicly? Because to live it, you must be willing to speak it. You must be willing to share it.  Be willing to have other people see it.
  2. Then there’s the middle gap of the, happiness recipe.  I call that the, emotional energy gap, or the, mindset gap, that’s all the beliefs and feelings that get in the way of us executing on that knowledge of what makes us happy.

We know what matters most to us, we know the goal or purpose that we want to be working towards; but do we have the, mindset, and belief that will allow us to make that happen?

3. The third gap in the, happiness recipe, is the, physical energy gap, which is really the execution piece. Do you align your time energy and resources with what matters most to you?  I call it priority aligned living.

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

Book: The Happiness Recipe

You told us about your book the , happiness recipe, we all know we can pick up a copy on Amazon, but give us your website and maybe a couple of your social media handles or so that people can connect with you.

Becky: My website which is www.untanglehappiness.com. And on there you can find all the social media links to connect with me on social media. You can also find a link to my book The Happiness recipe and you can learn about the work that I do.

Myrna: It’s been an incredible conversation. We talked about, happiness, the big takeaway from this conversation is our, sources of happiness. If you were to ask someone  Are they happy?  They’re probably going to be talking about, is my life good? Is my husband good to me? Am I making enough money? Am I living my dream life?

They’re going to think of the big things that cause, happiness.

Transform your Mind Podbean
Transform your Mind Podbean

Sources of happiness

I found that, definition of happiness, is working towards a goal or purpose.  Happiness, comes from taking those steps towards it. That  is what makes you happy, when you’re moving towards something.  When you feel stuck, or you think you’re going backwards, is when you’re unhappy. So, it’s the same thing, finding moments to bring you joy, understand your, sources of happiness, can be as simple as clean sheets, or taking a bath, everybody can do that. Everybody can find, happiness, sitting inside a tub, you don’t have to have waterfalls!

You can find, happiness, by taking a walk.  Happiness, for me is walking in a park, you can find a park with trees everywhere. Find your, source of happiness, if could be a good book, it could be clean sheets, it could be taking a bath, whatever is your, source of happiness, start there and then you pick a goal or a purpose and you take little baby steps towards it.

Once you are moving in the right direction, you are going to be happy. So, thank you, Becky, for that simple, happiness recipe. It is a very simple recipe. Head over to Becky’s website, connect with her on social media and pick up a copy of her book.

‘The Happiness Recipe: A Powerful Guide to Living What Matters’.

Additional Resources

How to be Happy with Less

Finding Joy In Your Nothingness

Coach Myrna Finding Joy in Nothingness

The,  bible stories, have meaning. In the story of the prophet, Elisha, and the, widow woman,  this,  Bible story, is teaching us that even in your, nothingness, you have something. The, widow woman, had 3 drops of oil. Oil, which represented, joy.

In this episode of, 5 mins with coach Myrna, Life coach, Myrna Young teaches on how to focus on what you do have and not your, nothingness.

Download the podcast here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9732435-finding-joy-in-your-nothingness.mp3?download=true

Prophet Elisha and the widow woman

Elisha, was a, prophet, who delivered the, prophetic word, from God to his people. In this, Bible story, he told this, prophetic word, to a, widow woman.

2nd Kings 4: 1-7

A certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets cried out to Elisha, saying, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant feared the Lord. And the creditor is coming to take my two sons to be his slaves.”

So Elisha said to her, “What shall I do for you? Tell me, what do you have in the house?” And she said, “Your maidservant has nothing in the house but a jar of oil.”

Then he said, “Go, borrow vessels from everywhere, from all your neighbors—empty vessels; do not gather just a few. And when you have come in, you shall shut the door behind you and your sons; then pour it into all those vessels and set aside the full ones.”

So she went from him and shut the door behind her and her sons, who brought the vessels to her; and she poured it out. Now it came to pass, when the vessels were full, that she said to her son, “Bring me another vessel.”

And he said to her, “There is not another vessel.” So the oil ceased. Then she came and told the man of God. And he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debt; and you and your sons live on the rest.”

Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora
Transform Your Mind Podcast Pandora

Finding Joy in your Nothingness

The, widow woman, represents the, barren state, nothingness.

  • You are in a, barren state, if your marriage is unhealthy, and you can’t stand to go home.
  • You are in a, barren state, if you hate your job and can’t stand to go to work.
  • You are in a, barren state, if like the, widow woman, you have no money to pay your bills and the bank is coming to take your home.

What this,  Bible story, is teaching us in this scripture is that even in your, nothingness, you have something. The, widow woman, had 3 drops of oil. Oil, represented, joy.

Shut out your senses to find your joy

The prophet, Elisha, commanded the, widow woman,  “Go within and shut the door” that meant shut the door on your senses that tell you your marriage is dead; shut the door on your senses that tell you that you hate your job. Shut the door on your fear that the creditors will come and take your home.

Instead go within and find your, joy. Find your 3 drops of, oil.

  • What is the, oil, in your marriage? Don’t focus on your, nothingness. Is your husband a good father? Is he a good provider? Why do you stay? You stay because of the 3 drops of, oil, that you have.

What are the 3 drops of, oil, you have at your job? Your, nothingness, could be you hate your boss, but do you like helping people and providing good customer service? Is the pay helping you to feed your family?

What are your 3 drops of, oil, about having no money and not having enough to pay your bill? Your 3 drops of, oil, i.e your, joy, could be your children and the, joy, they bring you. The, bible, says

Weeping only lasts for a night but, joy, comes in the morning.

Even if you lose your home God will find you another home. Find the, joy, in your, nothingness.

Transform your Mind Spotify Podcast
Download on Spotify
What is your barren state or wilderness experience

The prophet, Elisha,  commanded the, widow woman, i.e the woman in the, barren state,

“find vessels and begin to pour your 3 drops of, oil, until all the vessels are full”

When you take your attention away from the problems of life and begin to feel the, joy, of having received the things desired, you will have abundance running over. In this, bible story, the, widow, woman’s desire was to pay her debt, so that the creditors won’t take her son as slaves.  She received enough money to pay her debts and have money left over.

When you feel the joy of your marriage for whatever, oil, you have, you will be generously rewarded – for the world is a magnifying mirror, magnifying whatever you hold in your heart.

I am praying for everyone within the sound of my voice that you will find your 3 drops of, oil, and that your cup runneth over.

 

Thanks for tuning into 5 mins with coach Myrna go find your, oil, and feel the joy.

Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

You Don’t Need A Team To Win

 

The Pursuit of Happiness: The Happiness Habit

Coach Myrna pursuit of happiness

We are all in the, pursuit of happiness. Ask anyone what they want most out of life and they will tell you I want to be happy.  But we have to choose to be happy. Our, happiness, cannot depend on external circumstances whether they be good or bad because everything is temporary.

Download the audio here: 

https://pdcn.co/e/https://chrt.fm/track/897G7/www.buzzsprout.com/1761155/9699251-the-pursuit-of-happiness-the-happiness-habit.mp3?download=true

So, what is, happiness, or wellbeing? Is it having everything you want in life?

If you like chocolate cake the first bite is heaven, the second bite not so much and the third bite you feel discussed with yourself.

The same goes the external, happiness; It is fleeting and unsustainable.

Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast
Podfriend Transform Your Mind Podcast

How to choose happiness 

Set the intention when you awake every day to be happy. Let your, mantra, be:

  • Lord thank you for this day. I pray that everything will work out for my good.
  • Thank you for this new and wonderful day, I know there will never be another day like this one.
  • Thank you for your guidance all day long and that whatever I do, will prosper. I will concentrate on that which is lovely and of good rapport.
  • I know that I am a spiritual and mental magnet and I attract all things which bless and prosper me.
  • I am going to be happy all day long. I choose, happiness.
Coach Myrna pursuit of happiness
Coach Myrna pursuit of happiness

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The habit of happiness 

Make a, habit, of doing the things that make you happy.

Oprah’s bathtub is a thing of beauty. She makes a habit of taking a bath in her beautiful tub that has a waterfall because that makes her happy.

I make a, habit, of walking in the park and listening to stories of people’s lives that had meaning. That is my, happiness habit.

When I am on vacation my, happiness habit, is to read a romance novel as I relax on the beach.

My husband, happiness habit, is to watch movies.

If you create the, habit, of doing things that make you happy, then you will be in, pursuit of happiness

Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Happiness from External sources

If You lose your home or your job, that event takes your, happiness, or, wellbeing, with them. You go into depression because the winds of the storm are making the waves of your seas rough; but do you know the ocean is 2 miles deep? There could be hurricane force winds on the top of the ocean, but there is no movement on the ocean floor. It remains calm and unaffected.

That is how we can, choose to be happy, regardless of the hurricane force winds, that is creating chaos in our lives, we can choose to be in the, pursuit of happiness.

You have to, transform your mind, from, jealousy, anger, and depression because we feel badly after we express those feelings.

On the flip side:

  • We feel good when we give to the poor.
  • We feel good when we help others who are less fortunate.
  • We feel good when we, choose to be happy, regardless of how we feel.
Podbean Transform your Mind Podcast
Podbean

Conclusion

Mindset transformation, is the only way to empower true, happiness. We are all in the, pursuit of happiness, I pray that you find it.

Thanks for tuning into, 5 mins with coach Myrna.  This is Coach Myrna Young until next time Blessings.

Additional Resources 

How to be Happy with Less

 

How to Program Yourself for Positive Change

Positive change, is identifying the things that are most important in your life, and then start eliminating everything else. This is all about simplifying your life, so that you can focus on the things that matter most to you and prevents you from getting distracted.

 

Here are some tips on Positive Change from the book “Switch”

How to, change, things when, change, is hardby Chip Heath and Dan Heath

Here are the facts:

Change, is a process.

1: Positive Change, is usually a situation problem, and not a personal problem.
2: For anything to, change, someone must behave differently.
3: To, change, someone’s behavior, you must, change, someone’s situation.
4: For, positive change, to stick you must influence the person’s heart and mind.

A Story on Positive Change

Arthur was an airborne paratrooper. Jumping out of airplanes killed his knees, his back, his legs. When he got out of the army he walked with a cane and couldn’t do anything so he gained a lot of weight. He could not support his weight, so he couldn’t do traditional exercise. His health rapidly declined. The doctor at the VA clinic told him to accept his faith, that he would never walk normal again.

One day while surfing the internet, he came across Diamond Dallas Page doing yoga. He said to himself, I could do this. So He bought the DVD! He figured he could use his arm to support his weight and get a cardio workout. Arthur was 297 lbs when he started doing yoga.
When he started his yoga exercises, he kept falling down and falling down, but he kept getting back up again and again!
Every day he got better and better in 10 months he had lost over 100 lbs and could not only walk without a cane but he could run!!

Change, is usually situational. Arthur had a situational problem.

Arthur taught himself to do yoga because he decided to take control of his life. He got his heart and mind in the game and changed the situation!

Change is a process.

To lead a process requires persistence. Arthur kept getting back up and trying again to do his exercises.

When a, positive change, starts, it builds on itself.
The better Arthur got at yoga, the more he was motivated to keep going.
Positive change,  can snowball.
Change, rarely works unless it is motivated by feeling. Arthur wanted to feel better about himself so he made the hard choices.

That’s my tip of the week from coach Myrna.

How to change when change is hard.

There can be nothing harder than trying to loose 100 lbs when you can’t use your legs; but Arthur found a way and so can you.

Our guest today is coach Dan Willms and he is a, positive change, guru. This is his space.

Dan Willms is a Life & Business Coach, an MBA Professor, a facilitator for The Leadership Challenge, a writer and an International Speaker – he is also the creator of the Positive Change Workshop and facilitates his workshops in Portuguese, English & Spanish. He has facilitated more than 118 Positive Change Workshops. He loves helping people and organizations to achieve their fullest potential. He is the co-author of the book Strategic Leadership (Liderança Estratégica) and the author of the upcoming book “Positive Change – One life @ a time”.

Dan is also my partner, we do a video blog on YouTube every week called “You asked for it” where we answer questions sent in from our social media network. Like us on Facebook to become part of our community. Myrna Young Lifecoach and Dan Willms.

Using I am Affirmations for Positive change

I am affirmations, formulate, affirm, and perpetuate the stories you tell yourself. Stories about who you are, who you can be, and what you can do. I Am affirmations, are a powerful way to, program yourself, for, positive change.

If you want to make a, change, start where you are. Start with who you are. Support yourself right here, before you have all the answers. Do that and you’ll feel more supported in the process. And that can, change, well, everything.

  1. I am a living, breathing example of the kind of world I want to live in.
  2. I am a powerful force for good in the world.
  3. I am on the right path. I am moving in the right direction.
  4. I am worthy of all things wonderful.
  5. I am being guided to what’s best for me and everyone else.
  6. I am powerful enough to live in accordance with my own values, desire, and truths.
  7. I am in the exact place I need to be to get to where I want to be.
  8. I am intentionally promoting a life filled with joy.
  9. I am a firm believer in my ideas.

Show notes Positive Change

Question 1. Tell us about your journey to becoming a Life coach and an ambassador for, positive change.
Question 2: What is The, Positive Change?
Question 3: Tell me about your happiness labs, how does it work?
Question 4: : What were your findings on these labs from your sample size of 400 people?
Question 5: So, based on your labs, what would you say is the secret to happiness?
Question 6: Why do you think is there so much unhappiness in the world?

Additional Resources

How to Transform your Career with Purpose

5 Ways to Radiate on the Happiness Wheel

The Happiness Wheel

Happiness, cannot be seen or touched,  it is Spiritual. In the, pursuit of happiness, we all want to be on the, happiness wheel. Why do we all want to be Happy? Because everybody wants, happiness.

The healing influence of being on the,  happiness wheel, travels literally at the speed of light. Like a single inspiring thought that goes out on the internet and reaches millions of people in just a few hours; being on the, happiness wheel, multiplies exponentially … Replacing chaos, confusion, and conflict with order, clarity, and peace.

There are two types of, happiness:

  1. The first kind of, happiness, comes from things turning out the way we’d like them to. This is known as, happiness, for a reason. You are on the, happiness wheel, because life is good. We say, “I’m happy because I have a family and friends,” or “I’m happy because I am in a relationship,” or “I’m happy because I’m going on vacation,” and so on. This kind of, happiness, is inherently fleeting because it depends on external reasons that can be taken away from us at any time. Although we tend to avoid thinking about it, we can lose our friends, our job, our savings, our health, and our loved ones at any time.
  2. These are temporary, external sources of, happiness, that come and go like a passing breeze. But, a real, happiness wheel, can only flow from the inside out. It cannot be achieved by depending on people, things, employment etc.

Happiness Film

In the movie “show me the money” Tom Cruise made popular the phrase “you complete me” I know it sounds good and we all would like to know that someone feels that way about us; but someone else cannot truly complete us.

Only God is our source of true, happiness. He promises to “never leave you or forsake you.

Transform Your mind Podcast with coach Myrna
Transform Your mind Podcast

So how do you radiate on the, Happiness Wheel, from the inside out?

As a Spiritual Life Coach, I have researched the following ways:

  1. Laughter – Laughter is a symptom of spirituality. Laughter is the flow of love coursing through your body. Laughter is the nectar of present moment awareness. Invite more laughter into your life and relish the magic in every moment.
  2. I am a very happy person. I have massive amounts of energy, I laugh frequently and smile naturally all the time. Once in a while something or someone would knock me off my, happiness, perch; but I don’t linger there. I immediately seek out  my Happy place. Remember the movie “Happy Gilmore”?

You can’t be your best if you are not in your happy place.

Places to Find, Happiness

  • Taking a walk in nature, either on the beach or in the park. When I lived in Toronto, and it was cold outside, I would take a drive,
  • Watch a funny movie and laugh till I cried,
  • Read a love story.
  • You have to know your happy place and go there often.
  • When you play and laugh with abandon, you enter into the present moment, which is the only place where you can experience happiness.

Sources to Radiate Happiness on the, Happiness Wheel

Unconditional love – Love is a spiritual emotion. Physiology has a truly alarming statistic that states that if a mother gives up on a child he or she becomes truly lost. If the entire world gives up on him or her the child would still have hope; but if the mother is still supporting him, regardless of how many people write him/her off, that child can change and turn his or her life around.

That is why God hard wired unconditional love into mothers. The Disney movie Maleficent does an awesome job with this theory with the love of a mother substitute! The message, the only true love is the love of a mother! I love Angelina, she is my hero. When you love unconditionally, you access your spiritual realm and, radiate happiness, from the inside out. The object of your love is able to feel that love and revel in it.

Unconditional love on the, Happiness Wheel

When we don’t practice unconditional love, we experience pain, doubt, and unhappiness. We can’t get on the, happiness wheel.  Love isn’t a capricious emotion but is a state of being. It is an experience of unity with all creation. In spirit we are pure love.

We don’t have to search outside ourselves for love, because love is our essence.” David Simon

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Transform your Mind Soundcloud podcast

Meditation– Allows us to tap into your own inexhaustible source of inner peace, fulfillment, spiritual development, personal development and self- awareness. The essence of meditation is experiencing our innate wholeness, the unity of our body, mind, and spirit. True, happiness, is an internal state of consciousness that allows us to be happy for no reason at all.

We score high on the, happiness wheel. It is independent of the circumstances, events, people, and things in our lives. This happiness comes from the realization that our true self isn’t our body, thoughts, emotions, personality, possessions, accomplishments, relationships, or any other time-bound attribute. Our essential nature is pure, unbounded consciousness, also known as the field of all possibilities.

The attributes of this, happiness wheel,

  • include happiness,
  • love, timelessness,
  • compassion,
  • creativity,
  • wisdom,
  • silence,
  • and grace.

Replace Fear with Love – One of the clouds that obscure our innate state of, happiness, and block our spiritual awakening is unnecessary fear and anxiety. This fear is a negative emotion that causes anxiety, inflammation and pain. The root cause of this fear.

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Sponsor The Transform Your Mind Podcast

Fear causes us not to be on the, Happiness Wheel

Some of the symptoms of fear are:

  • afraid of rejection,
  • failure,
  • intimacy,
  • embarrassment,
  • abandonment,
  • loss,
  • the unknown,
  • being judged,
  • being alone,
  • losing control,
  • expressing our true feelings, and so many other things.

Spiritual Life Coaching can help you release the grip that fear has on you by expanding your awareness to the pure potentiality of your true self and nature, which is infinite, whole, and unbounded.

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iHeart Radio

Become Conscious – In my book “Becoming Conscious, My Awakening” I write about becoming conscious of my spirituality, becoming conscious of Synchro-destiny, a term this is used to label that every moment is as it should be, and that there are no coincidences in life.

Everything is preordained. When you accept this fact, then you will live more in the moment because you realize that in this moment is where miracles happen. The bible says “seek and you will find” if you look for the miracles of life, you will find them and then you will radiate on the, happiness wheel, from the inside out.

Just as a radiant sunrise can be hidden behind the clouds, our inner, happiness, can become obscured by constricted awareness, limiting thought patterns, and emotional turmoil. Yet no matter how long we have been lost in fear and limitation, we can learn to rise above the clouds of conditioning and awaken to the source of happiness within us.

 

Additional Resources 

How to be Happy: The Happiness Formula

3 Ways to Find Happiness After a Divorce

 

How to Find Hardcore Happiness and True Success

The Power and Purpose of Journalling

 

Journalling, can help women experiencing problems who are feeling stuck to form solutions by writing their down. My guest today is Margaret Elizabeth Hulse, a novelist who uses her fine art and jewelry designs to illustrate her, journalling, stories. Margaret writes stories with her body, mind, spirit that she says exist in the beauty of Texas, the Caribbean, and New Orleans.

Journalling, can be inspired to transcend from the monotony of day to day, obligatory tasks and into a life life filled with passion and purpose from the power and purpose of, journalling. She says “I write relatable, yet sensual, passionate stories that take my readers on new adventures and create custom jewelry so that the wearer has something unique to set her apart from the typical, ‘go-to’ designs. I evoke an excitement that people feel they haven’t been able to tap into for a while, whether it’s because they’ve been hurt, or have simply lost themselves as they’ve tried to make ends meet.”

Transform your Mind Stitcher
Transform your Mind Stitcher

How to Start Journaling

Margaret feels that through, journalling, she learned how to manifest her dream work through writing her way out of a trauma. Her first published journal simply titled, “Sketchbook,” is an illustrated short story that serves as a preamble to her novel, Sketches from the Heart of a Texas Artist. I write and speak often about the power of healing through creativity and how the more you write about something, the more likely it is to come to fruition.

On a personal note on, how to start journalling, I have always journaled to download and to write down my goals and dreams. The power and purpose for my, journalling, for me has been manifested in my life over and over.

There are 3 ways to attract anything into your life. First you think it in your mind, then you speak it into the atmosphere, then you write it down to give it form!

Journalling, can also help you out of a bad mood.
You Can Write Your Way Out of an Emotional Funk. Here’s How.

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A, journalling, story:

James Pennebaker, a distinguished professor at the University of Texas, got married right out of college in the early ‘70s. Three years after his marriage, he and his wife started to question their relationship, and Pennebaker, confused and unsettled, sank into a depression. He ate less, drank more, and started smoking. Embarrassed by what he saw as emotional weakness, he became more and more isolated.

One morning about a month into this decline, Pennebaker climbed out of bed and sat down at a typewriter. He stared at the machine for a moment, then started writing freely and frankly about his marriage, his parents, his sexuality, his career, and even death.

As he wrote, and continued to write in the days that followed, something fascinating happened. His depression lifted and he felt liberated. He began to reconnect with his deep love for his wife. But the writing had an even farther-reaching impact. For the first time, he started to see the purpose and possibilities in his life.

Pennebaker’s own experience with, journalling, helped him get through this rocky period sparked 40 years of research about the links between writing and emotional processing. Over and over again Pennebaker did studies in which he divided people into two groups and asked some to, journal,  about emotionally significant experiences, and the others to write about common things: their shoes, or maybe the cars passing on the street. Both groups wrote for the same span—about 20-minutes a day, three days in a row.

In each study, Pennebaker found that the people who wrote about emotionally charged episodes experienced marked improvement in their physical and mental well-being. They were happier, less depressed and less anxious. In the months after the, journalling,  sessions, they had lower blood pressure, improved immune function, and fewer visits to the doctor. They also reported better relationships, improved memory, and more success at work.

How to become a Life coach

Is your purpose in life to help others achieve fulfillment in theirs?

Then maybe becoming a Life Coach is the career for you.

Email me at info@myhelps.us for your FREE copy of my eBook “How to become a Life coach”

Additional Resources

How to Heal Your Brokenness

How to Overcome Fear and Find Joy

Fear, is an, energy, and thoughts are the most powerful, energy,  force in the universe.  Thoughts can be either positive or negative.
Heading up the rear of, negative thoughts, is, fear. It is the bottom feeder or all the emotions.
If you allow, fear, to linger in your body and in your mind, It will not only attract the thing you, fear, the most into your experience; but it will also bring disease to your body.
All diseases can be traced back to, negative thoughts, or, fear. Negative thoughts, transform your body into an acidic state.

Fear, is a, negative thought, magnified to the 1000th degree.

In, fear,  mode your body is activated in the fight or flight mode.
Your body tenses, your breathing is shallow, your heart palpitates, your blood pressure is elevated, your hands and body sweat.
Not a good place to dwell!
Unfortunately, your brain cannot detect the difference between your imagination and reality, so the person in the grip of fear cannot tell the difference. They cannot tell that, fear, it is “False Evidence Appearing Real.”

Using Positive Energy to banish Fear

Today I want to teach you how to use, positive energy, to clear the, negative energy, of, fear. But first I want to review one of the Spiritual Laws of the Universe.

The Law of Sowing and Reaping

We all know of the physical laws like, Gravity.
Some laws are physical and some are Spiritual and quantum.
Understanding the spiritual “Law of Sowing and reaping” can change your world.
Understanding that whatever you create it in the spiritual world of your thoughts will manifest in the physical world.

Put another way, that means whatever you plant in the fertile soil of your mind, will manifest in your physical world.
Just like planting an apple tree. Except that in the spiritual world;

The soil is your mind, The seeds are your thoughts,
The water are your actions,
And The sun is your feelings.

If you allow, fear, to dwell in your heart and mind every day you will manifest an apple orchard in your reality.

Energy flows where Attention Goes

Whatever you focus on expands.

Fear is Negative Energy

Everything is, energy, and all, energy, attracts similar energies.
You can’t put out, negative energy, and expect positive results.
You can’t plant apple trees and expect oranges.

Likewise, you can’t focus on what you, fear, and produce a successful result.
If you are constantly thinking of the things you, fear, you are planting a seed and based in the universal Law of Reaping and Sowing, it must germinate.
The mind or consciousness is connected to reality.
Think of something strong enough or long enough to and it will eventually manifest in your reality.
These are six words you must stamp on your mind

“You become what you think about”

When you realize that your mind is a garden you will begin to plant only the things you desire.

How to overcome fear

Exercise: How to overcome fear, write down something that is opposite of what you, fear, and start giving it the same attention you have been giving your, fear.
Since light conquers darkness, it will eventually have your, fear, for lunch!

  • Imagine you having fun traveling the world in crystal clear clarity.
  • Say daily affirmations that compliments your desire.
  • Visualize your goal so much that sometimes you are not sure what is imagined and what is reality;
  • the same way that you let fear take you out of reality.
  • Don’t get disappointed if it takes time to perfect this. Remember that positive things take time to manifest,
  • it is the negative ones that show up quickly.

Weeds will sprout up, negative thoughts, of failure will sprout up.
So, every morning find the weeds and dig them up.

Remember a successful gardener will always cultivate his land.

Cultivate your mind for success.
Life is energy, whatever you put out, is returned to you.
The mind does not care what seeds you plant; it will always return what you plant.
You can plant wealth or you can plant poverty.
You can plant fear or you can plant happiness.

Here is an excerpt from the book: The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology:
The Buddha faced plenty of his own fear and terror of imminent death. This is a passage from the Buddha’s early writings that Jack Kornfield, a teacher who helped introduce Buddhist mindfulness practice to the West, quotes in his book.

How would it be if in the dark of the month, with no moon, I were to enter the most strange and frightening places, near tombs and in the thick of the forest, that I might come to understand fear and terror. And doing so, a wild animal would approach or the wind rustle the leaves and I would think, “Perhaps the fear and terror now comes.” And being resolved to dispel the hold of that fear and terror, I remained in whatever posture it arose, sitting or standing, walking or lying down. I did not change until I had faced that fear and terror in that very posture, until I was free of its hold upon me … And having this thought, I did so. By facing the, fear, and terror I became free.

Do not Fear: Definition of fear

Fear – False objects appearing real, as per the about passage, can be released by standing your ground. Our instinctive reaction to, fear, is to turn and run because as humans we are hard wired to run from pain and towards pleasure. But, as the Buddha teaches in the passage above if you stand and have the courage to not move, you become free you, let go of fear, and realize that your imagination is always worse than the reality.

Let me share a personal story on how I overcame, fear and, remove negative energy from home. 

When I first came to the United States of America, I came as a business owner. I did not have any of the benefits of a permanent resident. As my business was building, I decided to earn money as a sales person selling vacations. I was not authorized to work in the US, so I became very fearful of being found out and being deported. Every night I would dream that the immigration officials would come to my house and take me away in handcuffs. Sometimes I would dream that they would throw me in the back of the trunk.

One day, my pastor preached a sermon on, the fear factor. He said that God promises to carry your burdens, so give them to God. He said when you give your, fears, and heavy loads to God, you can’t worry or take them back because that would mean that you don’t have faith in God’s promise to carry them. He asked the congregation to write our, fears, and heavy burdens on a piece of paper and ceremoniously throw them at the alter giving them to God. I wrote my, fear, of being deported on a piece of paper and threw in on the alter. In doing so, I, let go of fear, and became free because I gave it away to someone else, God. The good news is that I no longer was afraid of anything. Every time something came up that would potentially me fearful, I would face it and know that it will work out for my good. I stood on the scripture “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you.”

Meditation to Let go of Fear

Sit quietly in a chair, be comfortable.
Place feet flat on the floor, hands clasped in your lap. Close your eyes. Be present. Focus on your breathing, feel your belly rise and fall under your clasped hands.
Breathe in for a count of 4 and breathe out for account of 6. Thus, slowing down your rhythmic cycles. Be mindful of the air as it passes through your nostrils down your esophagus and into your abdomen. If your mind wanders off bring it back gently to your breathe. Your mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Concentrating on your breathe bypasses your mind. Once you slow your cycles and quiet your mind, you are now in the receptive mode to change your programming.

Think briefly about something you, fear. Today we will use as our example the, fear of flying. Today we are going to use our imagination to replicate the experience of flying while you are sitting comfortably and safely in your chair.

Let’s begin. visualize you are at the airport with your loved ones, your husband and 2 children. You are on your way to Venice, Italy. You chose Venice because you wanted a romantic vacation with your husband. You can’t wait to ride on the Gondolas and be serenaded with live music, going to the opera and have the experience of taking a water taxi everywhere. You are excited. This energy is positive. You let this feeling of euphoria wash over you, you feel your body tingle with this positive energy. You feel good!
Now you are boarding the plane, you are starting to feel a little anxious. You board the plane and find your seat, you buckle yourself in. The pilot announces that your flight time is 6 hours and that he will be flying at a cruising altitude of 35,000 feet. He advises you to give your attention the flight attendant and pay attention to the safety information. You mentally note your exits. You listen to what to do in the event of a water landing! Your mind is going nuts with fear. Your heart starts to palpitate rapidly, you start to sweat.

Now the airplane is taxing down the runway at full speed, then lifts off the ground.
You squeeze your husband’s hand, you are hardly breathing, your whole body is tight. The plane is climbing it shakes a little. You are so scared the sweat starts dripping from your forehead. The plane reaches cruising altitude, the pilot turns off the fasten seat belt sign and people start moving about the plane. You calm down a little, but still aware of every movement of the plane. The flight attendants come around and offer beverages. You ask for a glass of wine. You drink it down in one gulp! You start to feel calmer. The flight is uneventful. After what seems like an eternity the pilot announces that in 30 minutes he will be starting his descent into Venice. Your fear returns, the plane shakes a little as it descends and you are once again in the grip of fear. The plane touches down and speeds down the runway braking speed. Your body is tight, your breathing shallow. Then it is all over. You faced your fear and came out on the other side! You exit the plane and you are in Venice!

I want you now to realize that you have taken your first flight in your mind.
I want you to realize that fear is false evidence appearing real.
I want you to realize that once you face your fear, like a bully, it backs down.
I want you to realize that the energy of fear is keeping you stuck.
I want you to realize that whatever your fear, just like we took a ride on an airplane and came out alive on the other side that is how all fear works. It has no real power over you. The only thing that is holding you back from doing the things you want to do is all in your mind. So, the only way the clear it is to start with the mind. Do a dress rehearsal in the mind and then do it in the physical.

The first step in How to overcome fear is to face the fear.

The second step is to clear it from the place it is planted in your mind. Take a moment now to ask your higher self where the fear of flying came from. When was the fear planted? When you get the answer, you may think to yourself, boy that was silly or you may have a legitimate reason to be afraid of flying. Someone you know could have died in a plane crash or you yourself could have been in a plane emergency landing. The thing to remember is that you know that every time you drive on the highway you could die and you are aware of thousands of people who have died in car accidents; yet few people have a fear of driving in a car.
So, consciousness is the second step.

The third step is to clear that energy by replacing it with, positive energy. We are going to use the, positive energy, of gratitude. Sit comfortably again. Imagine a bright light entering the crown of your head moving down through your check, down your throat to your chest, down your abdomen through your feet.
Feel this light fill all your energy centers as you become fully relaxed. Now expand this energy out from your chest past the room, past your city, past your country, past the clouds, past the sun, past the planet into the stratosphere. You are now floating in cyberspace. If you can bring your fear to mind in this space, do so now.

Then replace that feeling of fear with the feeling of gratitude. Gratitude that you are alive, gratitude that you are in your sound mind, gratitude that you have a place to sleep and food to eat. Gratitude that you are wealthier than 95% of the people in the world and you have the resources to travel to exotic destinations. Gratitude that you will not let fear rob you of your joy.
Now set the intention to fly to the first place on your bucket list within the year.

If you found this post helpful, I would love to hear your comments on what your fears are, and if you achieved a successful result transferring it with these exercises. Please share this podcast and blog post with friends and family and remember to subscribe and post a review.
Transform your Mind podcast is giving away a Free Checklist you can do every morning to replace your fears with positive affirmations.
To receive please subscribe, rate and review this podcast then send me an email to info@myhelps.us with the subject line iTunes review.
Until next time Namaste

Additional Resources

No Fear : How to Live with Courage

How to be Confident after a Divorce

Building true,  confidence, after the betrayal of a partner is a gradual process. How to be confident, after a, divorce, is a gradual process. No one is going to turn into a positive, self-confident, person overnight. But if you’re in need of a place to start, here are 6 tips on, how to be confident, after losing your man.

This week on Transform your Mind podcast with Coach Myrna, I interview Confidence mentor Di Ridell. Di is going to talk to us today on the subject “7 Ways to get your, confidence, back after a, divorce, of death of a spouse.”

 

10 Tips on How to Build Confidence:

1. Stop comparing yourself to others.
The worst thing you can do is compare yourself to others. I know from experience that this is a, self-confidence,  killer, especially if you are comparing yourself to someone younger. Remember that you’re only seeing the surface of their lives and looks, not the underlying reality. Focus instead on what’s important–your own strengths and goals.

2. Keep your limiting beliefs at bay.
Even the most successful people with healthy relationships have limiting beliefs about themselves, but the biggest difference is that they choose to focus on their strengths and possibilities instead of their limits.

3. Live in a positive reality.
Don’t say anything about yourself that you don’t want to become a reality. Positive thoughts and words alone won’t make you a more, confident, person, but, confident, people do think a lot of positive things about themselves. Remind yourself of what you’re capable of and what you’ve already accomplished.

4. Don’t mask it.
Self-confidence, isn’t the impression you give others; but how you feel about yourself. It’s all about who you are, where you are, and where you want to be in your own life and relationships.

5. Change what you can.
Confident, people know they cannot change the past, but they can change the future. They make daily choices that lead them toward the future they want to live out.

6. Be fully committed.
Be fully committed to doing whatever you can to build your success every single day, accepting full responsibility for your life. If it gets uncomfortable, you’re probably on the right track! Don’t procrastinate, do what it takes without agonizing or drama.

7. Practice Self Love

8. Take action to get back on the horse. Don’t isolate yourself 

9. Have a Level 5 Friend to share your darkest thoughts

10. Complete yourself and not wait for someone to complete you

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TuneIn Radio

The nature of confidence

You should not allow your, confidence, to be dictated by someone else’s feelings in any facet of your daily life. Your feelings are just as valid as theirs, and you should never allow someone else to sink yours like an anchor, just because you have been through the, divorce, experience.

Your behavior should not be driven by the emotions of anyone, especially your ex-spouse.  They may attempt to reenter the picture for whatever reason, and while that reason may be valid and may need to be dealt with, there is no reason you should allow their thoughts and their feelings to bring you down or shatter any progress you have made in rebuilding your confidence.

You cannot and should not allow yourself to be manipulated in this way. If you sense that the conversation is headed in a direction that you are not comfortable with, it is imperative that you exercise some, self-love, and remove yourself from any narrative that would damage your post-divorce recovery process.

You need to be able to believe in your ability to rebuild your life and move forward. After a, divorce, you may begin to question your ability to make life decisions, but do not let one setback color your perspective and prevent you from making these types of calls.

Whether it is through your job, your friends, your family, or a new relationship, you can make different aspects of your new life matter and move past the negativity of a dysfunctional and unhappy marriage. Your productivity in starting over and taking each step to a new future is something you should be proud of and should give you the, confidence, boost you need to take additional steps.

If you like this content, please subscribe to my iTunes podcast and leave a review. Thank you
Transform your Mind iTunes podcast

Additional Resources

How to Raise your Self-esteem by Erasing Self Doubt