Tag Archives: cancer patients

Surviving Stage Four Ovarian Cancer: Lessons Learned

Nancy Rugart Plummer, a survivor of, stage four ovarian cancer, and, metastatic brain cancer, shares her powerful story and the lessons she learned from her journey. She discusses her diagnosis, treatment, and the challenges she faced along the way. Nancy emphasizes the importance of early detection and self-advocacy in cancer prevention and treatment.

She also highlights the role of caregivers and the need for support and understanding during the cancer journey. Nancy and Robert Rugart discuss the lessons they learned from Nancy's cancer experience and how they have applied those lessons to their lives. They emphasize the importance of getting affairs in order, finding reasons to fight, and taking life one step at a time.

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Key Takeaways:

  • Early detection is crucial in cancer survival, and it is important to be proactive in seeking medical attention and advocating for oneself.
  • Caregivers play a vital role in supporting cancer patients and helping them navigate their journey.
  • Getting affairs in order, such as creating a will and discussing end-of-life plans, is important for everyone, not just cancer patients.
  • Finding reasons to fight and focusing on the joys of living can provide motivation and strength during difficult times.
  • Taking life one step at a time and being open to change and adaptation can help overcome challenges and find new opportunities for growth.

Introduction About The Guest(s):

Nancy Rugart Plummer is a survivor of stage four ovarian cancer and metastatic brain cancer. She is the founder of Becoming the Best You and is a wellness and relationship coach, author, and columnist. Nancy helps men and women navigate life challenges to become upbeat, unstoppable, and unafraid. Her inspiring book, “Becoming the Best You: The Lessons Cancer Taught Me,” is due out this month.

Robert Rugart is the co-founder of Becoming the Best You. He left his job in finance to help write the book with his mother, Nancy, and to inspire and empower caregivers based on his own experiences as a caregiver for his mother, grandfather, and wife.

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Cancer diagnosic stage 4 ovarian cancer

Myrna: All right. Well, Nancy, before we started recording, I mentioned that I am reading the book Outlive right now by Dr. Peter Attia, and his book is basically talking about the four horsemen, which are the top killers right now. And cancer is one of the top ones, number one is Heart disease.

So what he talks about is early detection as a survival necessity. So I'm going to start off by saying you got diagnosed with, stage four ovarian cancer, which is really not early detection, and you had, metastatic brain cancer, which means that the cancer is already spread. I am extremely curious to know your story. Let's start with the, ovarian cancer. How was it diagnosed? How did you treat it? And then we can go on to the, metastatic brain cancer.

Nancy: It was definitely a marathon. It all started in the fall of 2015, and I had been dealing with bloating for months on end. I'd been dealing with needing to urinate all the time, and yet at the same time being constipated up to a week. And I knew that something was wrong. I didn't know what it was. So I made an emergency appointment with my OBGYN of 25 years. And I felt, since he was a superstar in the world of gynecology, that he would be the person I could trust and give me answers to my pain.

He took one look at me with my hair done and my makeup and my beautiful outfit, expressed my concerns in this dismissive voice. He said, Nancy, look at you. You're too pretty and you've been a perfect specimen of health. I reeled inside my brain. I was thinking, oh, my God, what does wearing makeup and a pretty outfit have to do with my health? So from there, we fought a little bit head to head, and he agreed with me that he would give me an ultrasound in a couple of weeks. So I didn't tell anyone about my problem.

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Transform Your Mind Podnews

Cancer misdiagnosis

Anyway, I didn't share with anyone and I never heard back. I called them ten days later and they just said, your ultrasound came out clean. Your scan is clean. So in their minds, I was healthy. And for seven months I was quiet, albeit in pain.

And then in June of 2016 so seven months later, I asked a friend to take me into the emergency room I knew I couldn't go on, and I knew that I was probably at death door.

Myrna: What was happening then that you needed to go to the emergency room?

Nancy: As the months went on, I found myself being able to eat less and less, and my exhaustion was continuing, and I was feeling more and more bloated.  In my mind I kept thinking, oh, my goodness, you're not exercising enough, not doing enough core work. Even the day when I went into the emergency room, I must confess that I was doing windsprints down the lane because I was growing this abdomen. Little did I realize that it was 67oz of  cancerous fluid in me, that's a lot of ounces for someone that's not the heaviest person to start with.

Anyway, I'm in the emergency room, and the on call doctor did a quick ultrasound with me and came back with discharge papers.

Myrna: So obviously what you're saying is this cancer cannot be picked up through an ultrasound.

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Stage 3 ovarian cancer diagnosis

So I looked at him, and I gathered the strength that I could. I was really sick, and I just not I haven't shared with anyone, but I think I'm dying. You have to save me. So we agreed together to do a CT scan, and he came back 3 hours later and said, ma'am, you have, stage 4 ovarian cancer.

Robert: Obviously, she had very extensive, ovarian cancer, at the time. I think when she was first diagnosed, it was late stage three. We hadn't found proof that it metastasized anywhere outside of where they deem stage three. So she was three C, and she had cancer ranging from, obviously, her pelvis all the way up to the base of her diaphragm at the bottom of her lungs. And so she needed an eight hour long surgery with,  eight different specialists.

Myrna: What was the surgery for?

Nancy: So what was it A bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy is the surgical removal of both ovaries and both fallopian tubes to treat ovarian cancer. The goal of the procedure is to remove any cancerous cells and prevent the chance for recurrence.

They had to take out 22 inches of my bowels. So I was given an ostomy. That was its own journey.

Myrna: All right, so let's fast forward to the end. Sure. When did you get the all clear that the cancer was gone? I'm assuming that after all your treatments and I'm assuming you took chemotherapy as well.

Nancy: Yeah, I had chemo every week for my chemotherapy. As long as the chemotherapy. So six months.

Myrna: At the end of the six months, they said, you're cancer free. So everything they took out the cancer stuff, and so why did they say it was stage four? Because I understand stage four means that it's moved.

Nancy: And I just want to share to every, cancer survivor, out there and caregiver that when the bell rings, you ring your bell in your remission. Cancer is not over. All the scars and all the wounds and all the issues you've had in your life, especially for me, was just ashes. I had lost my father, lost my marriage, lost my home, and it was a tough journey. Fast forward. I was so frail. I moved to Miami, packed up my stuff, where one of my dearest friends was welcoming me, and I could never have dealt with the cold and the weather in Philadelphia.

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Transform Your Mind Luminary podcast

Metastatic Brain Cancer diagnosis

Seven months later, I go to Rome with a friend, on vacation, great time. And two days later, I collapse from a grand mal seizure. They took me to a public hospital in Rome, and I awaken 16 hours later to see six men in diapers and a gown. And I looked down at myself. I was also in a gown and diapers. I have no idea why I'm in there. No one's speaking in English. There's no air conditioning. It was a bit of Hitchcock movie. And I'm thinking, oh, my God, I must have cancer again.

4 hours later, the neurologist comes in and speaks to me in English and says, you suffered a grain mal seizure. You have a brain tumor. My daughter flies in, bless her heart. She comes in so sweet. She flies into Rome and helps me coordinate me to my transfer to Miami and undergo brain surgery.

So then they do the surgery, and they say, you have, metastatic brain cancer. Before they did the brain surgery, they said, because your brain tumor is the size of a ping pong ball and where it is located, you may be paralyzed on your right side, and you may never speak again.

They remove the tumor, and they say, yes, it is a metastasis of, ovarian cancer. The median lifespan is five months. And I'm now still alive after five years. One of the lone survivors.

Myrna: Thank be to God. Wow. Yeah. Because that's basically what I'm learning right now. If you don't catch these things early, they move. Right. And when they move, for instance, you had all these surgeries, but there's no way the surgeon can pick the ones that have moved. Wow.

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Transform Your Mind Podcast Player FM

Becoming a caregiver for cancer patients

Robert: You know, cancer is a war that you don't want to fight on your own. I think there were two big things. Obviously, so many things helped, notably, listening to her doctors and paying attention to medical advice and being an advocate for herself were all huge things.

From the caregiver side, I think it was very important. Like we were saying, the exercise thing to push yourself right when you're going through chemotherapy, especially when she was going through it, chemo is basically poisoning your body and hoping that the cancer dies before the rest of your body does, which normally happens because cancer is voracious and eats up lots of stuff, including the poison a lot faster than the other cells. So there's a reason why we do it.

But if you're going to win that fight, you need to stay as healthy as you can. Keep pushing yourself, keep trying to exercise when you can. And exercise doesn't have to be running wind sprints. It can be. At her lowest point, exercise was breathing into a spirometer, A spirometer is an apparatus for measuring the volume of air inspired and expired by the lungs. A spirometer measures ventilation, the movement of air into and out of the lungs. The spirogram will identify two different types of abnormal ventilation patterns, obstructive and restrictive, doing single leg lifts or single weightless arm curls in her hospital bed.

Nancy: You know, I had pneumonia, and Robert got the call and was like, mom's going to die of pneumonia before she dies of chemo, right? And so he comes in, and obviously, I didn't have the wherewithal to even get that spirometer and practice my breathing and get stronger. And I tell you, he tried everything. He was cajoling me, he was pushing me, but he kept figuring out, and I'm begging caregivers alike to help your patient to learn how to push themselves when you're not there, but do every tactic you can, because he's right. If I didn't get strong enough, the chemo would have killed me.

Book Becoming The Best U
Book Becoming The Best U

Lessons Cancer taught me

Tell us about your book “Becoming the Best U – The Lessons Cancer Taught Me”

Nancy: And you know, though, I think that what was so important as Robert being my coach in writing and then him coming from the caregiver side is, know, my story wasn't written to share why I survived or how I've endured. It's about the lessons I learned.

One lesson is getting your affairs in order, and I think that everyone, whether they're going through cancer or not, should all learn, know, get your affairs in order and what that looks like. And I'd like Robert to discuss that because that's. Something that my caregivers had to talk to me about because all I could focus on was living and surviving. And now I just say to everyone, oh, don't wait until you're sick.

Robert: But if there's some cause that you really want to contribute to your plan right now could be to give them money from your estate. But if you make it past whatever you're going through, your plan could be to give them time from your future self. When you're planning a remembrance of your life or a funeral, however you want to phrase that, deciding what it is you want to be remembered for is so important.

Not only does it let you reminisce about the past and the wonderful things you've done, it also maybe I want to be remembered for something I haven't done yet. Certainly if you are near the end of life, or potentially near the end of life, it can be hard to plan for something that you haven't done yet. But you can at least, like I was saying, realize the direction you want things to go. You can make them important in your will, whatever. And then if you get through this struggle, then you can start directing your life and point your life in that way. And I think that's really important.

Conclusion

All right, guys, this was a very interesting conversation. I learned a lot from you. I am very blown away by your story surviving, stage four ovarian cancer, Nancy, Very blown away by your son and your daughters and the people that held you up when you needed holding. You know, I'm glad that you wrote the book and I'm glad that you came on the show to encourage those listening, whether they have a family member like myself that's going through, cancer treatments, right now or they're a survivor, and just because it's, Cancer Awareness Month.

Early detection is basically what saves lives. Go get your screening. Do the things that you need to do to improve your chances of survival. Awesome. So your book is going to be out in October, and I'm assuming that it'll be available on Amazon.

Robert: That is correct, yeah. Our website is, becomingthebestU.com

Additional Resources

https://blog.myhelps.us/the-emotional-trials-triumphs-cancer/

 

 

 

The Emotional Trials and Triumphs of Cancer

The fear of, cancer, can be just as powerful as actual, cancer, right? And not all, cancers, in fact  most, cancers, are not a death sentence. So, what I wanted to do was to explain in my book is that we don't really know what people are going through.

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Today I interview  David Richman who is a motivational speaker, personal consultant, and author of CYCLE OF LIVES and WINNING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK.

Cycle of Lives shares 15 REAL STORIES OF TRIALS AND TRIUMPH WITH VICTORY AND DEFEAT: Many books only share one perspective; however, David’s book provides cancer stories told from 15 different perspectives, allowing readers to examine a wide range of experiences, events, emotions, backgrounds, and viewpoints. This array of human experiences will help readers to grow in empathy and better understand how issues like suicide, abandonment, loss, survivor guilt, abuse, fertility, and more, affect the way people deal with the traumas that shape their lives, cancer, or otherwise.

How has your life been impacted personally by cancer?

David: What brought me to this project was, my sister was diagnosed with, terminal brain cancer,  in 2004. So, she was right around 40, married with two young kids, great profession, life going great for her. Then all of a sudden, she was diagnosed with, terminal brain cancer, and all that was going to be taken away. To me that was profound on a lot of different levels.  Because not only was she gonna face the reality that she was going to die soon. Some people get a terminal diagnosis, but survive, but my sister had no hope.

She had kind of come to terms with the fact that there was a lot of different aspects of it that she had to deal with. And I think that's kind of true with anybody that might have that type of an issue, where you're forced to face your own mortality. And with, cancer, especially, you're kind of given sometimes time to get your house in order, right? A lot of a lot of people die on the spot, they don’t get tine to put their house in order.

Myrna: So, let me ask you, I know I'm jumping ahead of myself, but it seems like a good point to ask the question. Do you think that from the people that you've spoken to you, do they appreciate getting this time?  If somebody asks, how much time I got, and I said five months? Do they appreciate that time and knowing they have 5 months to live? Or they prefer not to know?

Do people appreciate knowing of their mortality

David: That’s a great question. I think it's probably super personal. That’s the whole reason that I wrote the book, if you are going through, trauma, or know somebody who is going through, trauma, whether it's terminal or not, but it's related to, cancer, you know, some other major trauma,  if you do have the opportunity to form deeper connections with these people, do so.

The problem is, is that we often self-isolate, and or we abandon people not willingly, but we just, we don't want to say we don't know what to do. We don't want to make people feel guilty. We don't want to say the wrong thing or bring people down or whatever. And so, a lot of times, people do not use this time constructively.

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Myrna: How did you deal with your sister’s diagnosis? And how did you help her?

David: Great question. So, what we did was, throughout our adult lives, we were close, sometimes not close, because life just gets in the way, right. Like we she had her family and kids and friends and work and you know, just like gets in the way. After the, cancer diagnosis, though, I think we probably talked way more regularly and purposefully.

I had a friend recently who lost one of his best friends, and he said that they couldn't count the number of, cancer nodes,  on his lungs, because there was too many, so he died really quickly after his, cancer diagnosis. And my friend said, that was probably the best way, why put him through all that pain?

Sometimes the reality is there, I felt like with my sister, even though she fought for three or four years, I mean, there wasn't an option for her to survive, because she had a massive tumor and it spread. What happened was that anytime that I reached out, she was available. We didn't always talk about heavy stuff. But knowing that there was a finish line, fast approaching, I think that we, with intentionality really tried to try to bond as deeply as we could.

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A terminal diagnosis of cancer

Myrna: Now, a lot of people who are given that diagnosis would say I'm gonna make peace because they tell you to put your house in order and make sure you tell everyone you love them. And maybe you should do the things that you have always wanted to do. You think that people do that, like their, bucket lists? Do they do that?

David: I think that's a rarity. Because you know, we live in denial. And one of the people I spoke to was a doctor, an oncologist at NYU. She told me that no one accepts that they are going to die from, cancer. They always have hope, so very few people put their house in order or do things on their, bucket list. One of the things she told me that really made a lot of sense was, the human brain is not wired to be able to really contemplate in an understanding way our own mortality, it just doesn't just doesn't happen.

I think that kind of explains why we don't ever want to put our house in order and we don't ever want to do those, bucket list, kinds of things. Because we just don't think we're going to die. So the vast majority of people that I spoke to, they did have a fair amount of denial, either from them or the people that they loved. They put off taking care of things. They were abandoned by people that loved them, they self-isolated and didn't close loops that they probably should have closed.

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Cancer patients live in hope

Myrna: So true, that is why suicide is so against the norm, because most of us are wired to preserve our life, and we will go to great lengths to stay alive, even when the quality of our lives is taken away, we want to live. So that is a very distinct, very good information to put out to someone who is reading this, that is either going through, trauma, or they know someone who has been given a terminal diagnosis of, cancer. Make sure that you tell your loved ones that you love them and put your house in order.

David: My book is not all about death and dying from, cancer, because, cancer,  does not always mean death. Even the fear of, cancer, can be unbelievably traumatic for some people, right? Imagine if you received a diagnosis, it was early diagnosis, like a stage one, cancer, or something, and very treatable. But now you got to live the rest of your life thinking in the back of your head, oh, my gosh,

  • Am I allowed to go out in the sun?
  • Should I eat a certain food?
  • Do I need to exercise more?
  • Is this, cancer, going to come back and take me?
  • Do I not have kids because I don't want to lose them in case my, cancer, is fatal.
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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind

Living in fear of cancer

I mean, the, fear of cancer, can be just as powerful as actual, cancer, right? And not all, cancers, in fact  most, cancers, are not a death sentence. So what I wanted to do was to explain in my book is  what are people going through that we might not know? Or what, traumas, have affected them so that they're not able to navigate this kind of traumatic diagnosis of, cancer.  Because we don't really know what people are going through.

Myrna: Yea death and taxes are the only thing that are guaranteed. And yet, we don't want to we don't want either of them.

One of the things you said, though, is that, went and you interviewed, these 15 cancer survivors even though each one of their stories were different, you found something that was consistent that linked all these stories.  What is the link?

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What every cancer patient fears

David: Sure, so there were two things that was consistent. And just to add one more thing to what you just said is it also is not just people that had gone through, cancer, that I spoke to, but also caregivers, doctors. I spoke to people that never had, cancer, themselves, but their lives were centered around, cancer, as a caregiver, or maybe they were with a loved one who went through, cancer.

So, I wanted all those different perspectives, because I think that it's not the same. If your spouse is diagnosed with, cancer, there still is an unbelievably deep and traumatic set of emotions that go through you, as well, right? You're not even the one with, cancer, but imagine what you must go through watching your spouse go through, cancer.

But the two things that I found that were quite consistent with every person I spoke to whether they made the book, or they didn't this is one:

  • No matter how crazy people lives are, nobody thinks their life is that interesting. They're just living their life
  • Two they feared asking for help. The theme that we've been talking about, which is almost everybody not everybody, had a big identification with the thought of, I don't know if I'm equipped to form really deep connections with the people around me about what I'm going through.
  • They are dealing with the tasks like how do I get to my appointment? How do I get my kids watched while I'm in the chemo chair? How do I navigate time off work? How do I eat healthier?  They don’t want to be a burden, so they have a hard time asking for help. And that was very, very consistent with almost every single person I spoke to.

Myrna: Do you think it's because people don't really like to ask for help?

David: That's definitely a. Yeah,

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Patricia’s story: I don’t get colds, I get cancer

There was one story about this woman her name is Patricia and she made the statement I don’t get colds, I get, cancer.  From that statement, I delve into her, mindset, and I am assuming that she's had a hard life because she made the comment that I don't get colds, I get cancer, which tells me that, cancer, kept coming back. But, one of the reasons that I want to I want to I want to touch on it, is because I also know when we make statements like this one, then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, what can you share about Patricia’s story?

David: Wow, that's a great insight. So, her story is really fascinating. And one of the things that was hilarious was like the second conversation I had with her she tells me, “My life's not that interesting.” So,  let me try to explain her story. Her story is pretty fascinating, because I thought it was about the fact that she had, beat cancer, five different times over a 35-year period. But that's not what her story is about. Near the end of her talking to me, I asked Patricia, I go, Hey, What's your secret? Like how did you, beat cancer, 5 times?

And she said to me, well, ever since I moved on from x, and I'll give you point x in a second. She said, every time that I moved on from point x, all I did was I just said to myself,

Every single day, you have to put your feet on the ground, get up out of bed, and go about your day.

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Transform Your Mind PTWWNTV

Now sometimes David, I was able to make my bed and walk away. Other times, I make my bed and lay right back into it. But I wanted to get up and put my feet on the ground and make my bed and go about my day. Oh, wow. Now not knowing her story. If you told me life was get your feet on the ground and make your bed and go about your day, I'd roll my eyes go on, whatever, you know, good for you.

But her story is this so when she's a teenager she was in a relationship and that the relationship was exceptionally abusive. To the point where she has is forced to cut ties with every person that she knows, including her family friends, not allowed to go out anywhere on her own. He beats her up if he just thinks that she's having a bad thought. I mean, it's horrible. Okay, so after four years she learns how to escape by getting another identity and she escapes that abusive relationship.

Shortly after she escapes, she gets diagnosed with, cancer, for the first time. Over a 35-year period she gets diagnosed with, cancer, five different times and five different types of, cancer, very serious. Her story is while beating the first, cancer, she met some someone and he becomes the only person that she had ever met that she could trust and that she could love and felt would love her no matter what.

This man helped her recover from that abusive situation she had escaped from. And he was beside her for her whole life, during which time she was fighting all these different, cancers,  and living her life. This love sustained her through battling her cancers, caring for her dad who died of, cancer.

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Everyone has their time in the barrel

She looked at herself one day in the mirror, and she said, hey, don't walk around, like all burden. Don't walk around all emotional.

Everybody has their time in the barrel. All you do is just keep getting up, keep putting your foot on the ground, make your bed and go about your day.

And I'm just like, holy cow. She’s had been through all of that and the only solution to her was, everybody's got a tough life. Everybody has it bad, you could be burdened by it. Or you could not just get your feet on the ground, make your bed and go about your day. I'm like, That's brilliant. Right. And so, so that's, that's Patricia's story. So, I mean, there's more way more to her story you have to read the book.

Myrna: Well, you surprised me with that answer. But I get it. When I looked at that statement. I don't get colds, I get cancer. I thought that was a, defeated mindset. You know, saying I'm always sick. And then you become always sick, like self-fulfilling prophecy. But instead, she's looking at, cancer, almost like a cold, something that you get through. You get, and you just go on with your life!

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Transform your Mind Stitcher

Never sick a day in my life except cancer

David: And you know, one of the first things she said to me, she goes, I never been sick a day in my life. I never had a cold; I never had the flu. I have never been sick except for, cancer, and all the other stuff that came with it, I literally have never been sick a day in my life. And she goes, if somebody wrote a story about me, it would be titled, I don't get colds, I get cancer!

Myrna: What do you want the reader to walk away with after reading your, cancer stories?

David:  Well, first of all, what I want them to know is that each one of the book participants, doctor, patient, loved one, whatever survivor, they chose a, cancer focused charity, or other charity that they wanted the proceeds of the book to go to, so 100% of the proceeds of the book, no matter where it's sold, or how it sold, it gets divided up between the organizations that they chose. So that's number one. What I want the reader to know is they'll be doing some good financially, there's not a lot of money in books, but 100% of it will go to support their organizations.

But I think what more you know, like that saying, we talked about it earlier, like you never know what people are going through. That’s what I want readers to walk away with. We really have no idea what people are going through.  For example, Patricia finished a master's in art. She's an amazing artist and when you were sitting next to her in art class and admiring her work, and she's admiring yours, you would have no idea what she had gone through.

Book Cycle of Lives: Cancer stories
Book Cycle of Lives: Cancer stories

Conclusion

Myrna: How can readers get their hands on your book? How can they connect with you on social media?

David: Yes, the book is available wherever books are sold. So, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, your local bookstore. Up until a week ago, I couldn't have said this. But now the audible is out. So, it's, it's available as a book, as an e book or as an audio book. In fact, we had 15 different actors each read one of the different stories, so it's very entertaining, and very inspirational and it's not very heavy. There's a lot of inspiration that can come from these stories.

They can connect with me on Facebook or Instagram @cycleoflives or @David Richman or go to my website www.David-Richman.com  And they can learn about the institutions that we're supporting, and all the other things that are going on around this whole cycle of life's project.

Additional Resources

Nothing is Impossible: How to Turn Life's Challenges Into Opportunity