Gena Yuvette Davis, a board certified executive coach, corporate trainer and organizational development consultant. “How to Transform Behavior in the Workplace” to facilitate workplace well being
In keeping with my custom, I would like to share with you my tip of the week from coach Myrna.
Since Gena is going to talk today on How to, Transform, Behavior, in the, workplace, I want to share “How to, transform, your life by removing old conditioning.
The physical component of the mind body connection, is the brain.
The mind is the software and the physical brain is the hardware.
If your brain, the hardware, is stuck in old patterns, even with the best of intentions, the software, the mind, won't work.
If you let your brain keep you repeating the same patterns, you become like a biological robot.
Your words thoughts and actions become totally predictable.
We are all victims of repetitive patterns.
To change the patterns that are not serving you, the solution is awareness.
Here are 5, Behaviors, that are usually automatic.
1: Snacking non – stop even when not hungry
2: Spending too much time on the couch watching TV
3: Overspending your way into debt
4: Eating too much fast foods
5: Skipping breakfast
6: Late night snacking
7: Smoking cigarettes
How can you bring awareness to these, behaviors, and interrupt your pattern?
Let’s look at.
Snacking non stop
– whenever you feel the need to grab that bag of chips, stop and ask yourself
What am I really needing?
What need is this food really filling?
The moment you take a moment to think about your action, you interrupt your pattern.
You are on your way to breaking that habit. Even if you still eat that bag of chips.
You are on to way to removing old conditioning. Awareness is the key.
Another way to remove old conditioning and, behavior, is to:
Change your state
Let’s say you are sitting on the couch and you reach for the bowl of nachos on the table or the bags of chips from our previous example.
Just as you think the thought to command your hands to reach for the bowl; Change your state!
Get up and walk to the bathroom or to the mailbox. Move your physical body into a different position.
The 3rd way you can remove old conditioning or, behavior, is to:
Create a new habit – rewire the physical component.
Let look at our example of skipping Breakfast.
Make it easy.
– buy a drinkable breakfast and grab it on the way out of the door.
– have your partner make you breakfast.
– prepare a sandwich the night before and eat on the way to work.
– set the alarm 15 mins earlier.
These are a few ways to remove old conditioning and, transform, behavior, in your personal life:
•Authentically committed to empowering and inspiring others to be their best selves, Gena specializes in working with clients from a variety of industries who are on the fast track to taking their careers to next level. She is also a change agent for organizations who wish to transform their companies into diverse, collaborative and thriving work forces. Her drive and energy is infectious as she is able to elevate her clients and help them live to their true potential.
•
• Gena’s coaching, training and consulting style is intuitive, always full of energy, and with a touch of gentle persistence! Knowing that the answers are already within, Gena’s job is simply to be the way-shower of what is already known to be true – “success attained.” She is dedicated to assisting individuals and organizations to achieve excellence in ways that support integrity and a collaborative spirit and to achieve their purpose.
In addition to executive coaching and training in the areas of emotional intelligence, leadership effectiveness, communication skills and reputation management, her work includes a variety of strategic consulting services such as strategic planning, change management, retreat planning and facilitation, employee engagement, team-building, as well as diversity and inclusion initiatives. Her focus is on developing collaborative processes and as a thinking partner to foster learning, dialogue, and innovation.
Best Practices to Transform Behavior In the Workplace
• 1) What is “Behavioral Transformation using ETT ?”
Emotional Transformation Therapy (ETT)
Emotional Transformation Therapy (ETT),
a therapeutic method incorporating the use of light, color wavelengths, and eye movements, aims to rapidly transform emotional distress and related physical pain into a positive emotional state.
Professionals trained in ETT work to help those in therapy address trauma and other pain and achieve lasting, healing change.
Emotional Transformation Therapy, developed by contemporary psychologist Dr. Stephen Vazquez in 1991, is a relatively new form of therapy. Vazquez’s studies in the fields of epigenetics, optometry, neurobiology, and quantum physics influenced various aspects of his development of ETT as he attempted to establish a therapeutic technique beneficial for the reduction of emotional and physical distress. His noninvasive, non-pharmaceutical approach combines traditional psychotherapy with the use of visual brain stimulation and colored light therapy for reportedly fast results.
ETT draws on the concepts of interpersonal therapy and visual brain stimulation therapy. This research-driven approach is used by trained practitioners to transform emotional distress without the use of drugs and medications. ETT aims to help the person in treatment move swiftly from a difficult emotional state into a more positive emotional state—from despair to empowerment, unhappiness to joy, or trepidation to courage, and so on—through the remedial use of light and color wavelengths, which can be administered through a light box designed specifically for ETT.
Many people who seek therapy do so when they experience mentally or physically unpleasant states or feel trapped by their emotions, feelings, memories, or current situation. In ETT, neural impulses are used in conjunction with specific forms of eye movement and stimulation to target these uncomfortable emotional and physical states in the corresponding areas of the brain.
Specifically, the brain is stimulated with lights and colors in order to reshape the neural impulses affecting the brain and the nervous system. The therapist observes the emotional responses of the person in therapy and helps facilitate productive regulation through verbal cues meant to induce rapid emotional and behavioral changes.
Discoveries in light therapy show particular wavelengths of light to be able to help transform a person’s emotional state when administered properly. ETT theory, which is grounded in this principle, incorporates interaction between the therapist and the person in therapy to create what proponents of ETT believe to be an effective method for the rapid restoration of a positive emotional state.
• 2) Why is behavioral transformation so difficult?
• 3) What are the different communication and behavioral styles?
• 4) What are three best practices to behavioral transformation in the workplace
• 5) What can we do to be our own advocates for change?
• 6) Can we really transform our work environment through behavioral transformation? How?
I thought about all the things I could sell and, commercial real estate, looked like the biggest assets and I figured they must have the biggest commissions.
Martin Sawa's story is about the American Dream. He went from selling hair brushes door to door, to becoming a success in the world of, commercial real estate, in the top market of San Francisco.
MARTIN SAWA is a first generation Ukrainian American, former San Francisco real estate power broker, and author. His remarkable rise to, self-made wealth, from the humblest beginnings. A devastating loss forced him to reevaluate the meaning of success, and how the impact of love, family, religion, and race shaped the metaphorical zoetrope of Martin’s own, American Dream.
A son of poverty-stricken Ukrainian immigrants who as a teenager sold hairbrushes door to door, Martin later quit a stable 9-to-5 job to try his hand at the high stakes world of San Francisco, commercial real estate, in the early ‘80s. As the demands of the job required more and more of him, Martin found himself in the grip of, alcoholism. It would take a tragedy to pull him out of it.
Martin’s new bookTHE OTHER SIDE OF SUCCESS: Money and Meaning in the Golden Stateis an account of the new American experience, told from the perspective of a first-generation immigrant who made the, American Dream, a reality. The book tells stories of the glamorous and cutthroat world of, commercial real estate, in the second most expensive market in the country. Readers will be inspired by Martin’s tenacity and drive as well as his resilience in the face of personal trauma and tragedy.
Book The Other Side of Success
Getting started in Commercial Real Estate
Myrna: I love your story. Can you bridge for us as we start off. I know you sold hairbrushes from door to door. What was your entry into, commercial real estate, like? How did that happen?
Martin: Well, at the time I was almost 30 years old, (I had grown up in the Midwest but moved to California) I was living in Oakland which is across the bay from, San Francisco. I had a dead end job – I was driving 40 miles one way down to San Jose and I was a city planner.
One day, I was standing at the counter processing permits and a developer came in. He was angry and waving his plans. As I looked at him, he was like a silver fox with a big gold medallion. I wondered why I was doing what I was doing because not only did I not like the job, I was dead broke and my then wife was pregnant with our daughter. So I just quit and walked away. I didn't know right away what I was going to do, but then I remembered when I was a teenager my first sales job.
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Google Podcast Transform Your Mind
When I just finished high school, I sold the hair brush products, door-to-door sales, in the west side of Chicago. I was good at it and it taught me, sales skills. I had a great mentor too who taught me the, fundamentals of sales, and I knew I could sell. The, fundamentals of sales, don't change whether you're selling hair brushes or high-rise office buildings as a, commercial real estate agent. It's just a difference of degree.
Specializing in Commercial Real Estate
I thought about all the things I could sell and, commercial real estate, looked like the biggest assets and I figured they must have the biggest commissions.
Myrna: Yes, why not go for it?
Martin: I go for it and I started out. There are many specialties or work opportunities and, commercial real estate,
You can do brokerage,
leasing office space,
property management
I chose to be in investment property sales which was the riskiest because these deals took months to put together.
If they came together at all! You weren't guaranteed a paycheck and usually had to wait a long time to see the money. It took me a year before I actually got my first commission check. So, that taught me how to make ends meet without having any money coming in.
Door to door sales is usually the first entry into sales
Myrna: Wow, there are tons of things I want to circle back to, – one my entry into sales was similar. I sold encyclopedias from, door-to-door sales, and found that I was good at it. Not because I had any, sales skills, they didn't really teach us any, sales skills, but I learned that I had the, personality, that people would buy from me.
I went into sales later on in my career as well. As I mentioned, I'm a, Realtor, but, door-to-door sales, kind of started my, sales career. I've always sold that way with my, personality, not necessarily knowing that there's a stage one, two and three, sales skills, and following it kind of format.
The second thing is about, real estate, whether it's, commercial real estate, or, residential real estate, is that you are working and you don't get paid until there's a closing. So, obviously, the bigger the deal, the longer it's going to take to put together, the longer you have to wait for a pay check.
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I started trying to get into, commercial real estate, just before the pandemic hit. Everybody wanted, multifamily real estate, because they said it was recession proof. Real Estate Investors, and there were people calling me all the way from California and all around the world even as I'm in Florida. They wanted these, multi-family deals. What happened is that the sellers wanted more money that the buyers were willing to pay.
So, I was never able to get it married, get a marriage and get this big ass commission because I offered one of the buildings for $10 million, so it should have been a really nice commission but then the pandemic happened.
Now it looks like multi-families wasn't recession-proof because now, nobody really wants to touch him because of the eviction ban. The tenants are not paying their rent and you can't evict the tenants.
Myrna: Why did you say that, commercial real estate, is glamorous and cutthroat?
Martin: It’s the people would use you up and just throw you out, that kind of thing – like they do in the residential. Well, first of all, you have to understand my perspective or baseline. My parents grew up in Ukraine in the years before and during the Second World War, they lived under both Hitler and Stalin so it doesn't get any worse than that.
I will say one thing and if you've been in the business and you understand that you can work like crazy a year on a deal and it falls apart and on another deal you can work 10 minutes, five minutes and make a huge commission and you have the mindset that that's the way it works. If I could predict which deals I was going to close, I could have worked one month out of the year!
Myrna: You mentioned that San Francisco is the second largest, real estate, market in the USA. So, I'm assuming the top is New York?
Podbean
Martin: It always used to be Manhattan but then with the expansion of Silicon Valley, and in San Francisco, (historically was a financial services city) there are insurance companies, banks etc., but with the technology explosion, it moved up into San Francisco so now half the tenants are tech. The whole nature of the business changed in terms of who were your customers and clients, and with tech you got all these. All of a sudden, billionaires living 30-40 miles down the Peninsula, in the Los Altos, Hills of Palo Alto etc., and the prices not just in San Francisco but throughout the Bay Area just exploded.
Commercial Real Estate in San Francisco
So, San Francisco, caught up to Manhattan sometime in the last five years and just in terms of absolute property value per square foot, not only for commercial but for residential as well.
Myrna: You said that when you were doing, door-to-door sales, you had a mentor that taught you the skill sets to sell and you said it was transferable. Can you give us a bit of the skills that you learned doing, door-to-door sales, and how you're able to transfer those skills into being successful a, commercial Real Estate agent?
Door-to-Door sales convert to Commercial real estate skills
Martin: If you sold encyclopedias, you understand it's the most kind of basic Fundamental mono a mono that you can have. It's you and another person, and that person in my case was typically a housewife in her personal home environment. So, it's you the housewife. The key is – if they open the door at all you have a minute or two to develop trust to get in two minutes and you either do or you don't.
If you're broke and extended on credit cards and have a baby girl and two step kids, you're going to do whatever it takes to get in that door, and that cannot be taught. The sales supervisor can kind of tell you how to do it, but you've got to be hungry. That’s pure desire, you take the rejection and keep going. If you get rejected at ten houses, you're going to go to the 11th. So, once you get in, there are techniques for converting the trust into an order and making a commission. I was again fortunate because the mentor I had was very good at teaching me these, sales skills.
Alcoholism and commercial real estate
Myrna: Before we get into your book, what happened that made you become an, alcoholic, and how did tragedy and self-resilience pull you out of that?
Martin: Well, there’s just a little back story in the little town I grew up in. I had a population of 5000 people and 40 bars. Most of the male population in the town was quote, alcoholic. I was a two-fisted drinker and that was a compliment. I mean that's just the way those times were and it's still that way in many parts of the world, in rural areas where alcohol drives a lot of choices that people make and sometimes they're not very good.
I started drinking beer in cornfields when I was 12 and then, I went to College and I finished at University of Wisconsin in Madison which was a huge party school and it's just something I did. When I got into, commercial real estate, there were all the functions and cocktail parties, so I just remained a, functional alcoholic, in the business, but it became more and more of an issue when I remarried my second wife.
She became the person who was not only wife and lover, but became my spiritual mentor in moral compass and she had powers in what I call the world of the unseen. I think you probably can guess what all that involves. It got to the point that there was a major incident (I won't give you the spoiler), you just have to read the book, but it came down to her saying “you either quit drinking or that's it”.
Transform your Mind Stitcher
I got it and I did what I had to do then, but the really most impactful experience in my life was a few years later when she dropped dead one night. There was nothing to prepare for that experience and that's when I really had to evaluate the big picture and business and all of that and then life and meaning.
Tragedy and alcoholism
Myrna: That is you've got “a you” and a great story. There are so many different nuggets and many different checkpoints in there. You said you share all this in the book so that people would be able to understand the, sales skills, understand how you were able to move through, alcoholism, and now you're on the other side.
You learned the fundamentals like you said and then you're able to build on that by being at the highest level of, real estate. You know, commercial real estate, and in a city that is number one or number two interchangeable in, real estate. I'm pretty sure you've got a lot of good stories in there.
Your book “The other side of success, money and meaning in the golden State”, my favorite question to ask authors is what do you want readers to walk away with after they close the book?
Martin: If I just wanted to work off grief, I could have kept the personal journal. First and foremost I created it as a story. I think I have a good story that even if, commercial real estate, is not something the reader has a high interest in, they will find enough else in there about life and so forth – that they'll find rewarding.
Myrna: Your parents lived in the Hitler era, you came to America as we all come to America hoping for the, American dream.
You found that dream, but along the way you had some personal tragedy and, Alcoholism, but you were able to get over to the other side. Now, as you write the book, you're sharing the story of personal tragedy and success with some business nuggets. Do I get that right?
Martin: Yes, exactly okay. I try not to get too technical also because this is for the general reader in terms of, there's one chapter devoted just for, commercial real estate, and share how I put a deal together. I try not to get too much in the financial aspects and all of that.
Myrna: That's good though, because when you've got, commercial real estate, in the tagline, someone will pick it up because they're in, commercial real estate. So, it's good that you have a chapter on putting together deals in, commercial real estate.
Conclusion
Martin: If listeners would like to buy the book, the easiest thing is just to go to my website www.martinsawa.com. You can buy it online from Amazon or the bookseller of your choice. With another click, go to my social media sites where you can see some of my other archived interviews. If you scroll to the bottom you can send me an email. I love to hear from readers.
Myrna: This was a very great interview. Like I said, I love combining self-help with a bit of business and building wealth. In the, commercial real estate, you didn't want to talk about your commissions, but I am sure they were impressive. The deals may take one or two years to do, but in the end it's rewarding. Do you have any last words for the readers?
Martin: Yes. Take advantage of the time while you have it because you never know when the big guy is going to call your Number.
Entrepreneurship, is the process of setting up a business. For, entrepreneurs, battling, mental illness, controlling their, emotions, is their superpowers, when it comes to building a business of our dreams.
My guest today is Scout Sobel. She is the author of the “Emotional Entrepreneur” and we are going to be having a very interesting conversation today on, mental health, specifically the, mental health, of entrepreneurs. As you consider, entrepreneurship, you need to understand how our, emotions, guide you in everyday life.
Scout experienced her first depressive episode at the age of 14 and was formally diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, at the age of 20. Living with a, mental illness, brought an onslaught of symptoms: anxiety, hypomania, depression, catatonia, psychosis, and, suicidal ideation.
Her perception of her life weighed down on her so poignantly that she dropped out of college, could not hold a job or internship, was hospitalized, experimented with medleys of prescription medication, and went through two outpatient programs.
One day her husband (then boyfriend) looked at her lovingly and said, “I don’t care if you’re depressed. If you are depressed and hopeful, I can be in this relationship. If you are depressed and hopeless, I can’t do this with you.”
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That was the moment her life changed. She started infusing her life with hope and began to take radical responsibility for her emotional state. And after intense, self-development, work – support groups, holistic healing modalities, prayer, routines, and physical wellness, she found, entrepreneurship. Through, entrepreneurship, she learned to unconditionally love her life through the pain, challenges, and celebrations. She learned that she wanted to be here.
Today, Scout is the Founder and CEO of Scout's Agency, a female-focused PR agency that specializes in getting women as guests on, podcasts.
Her debut book, The Emotional Entrepreneur, provides the, mindset, and, emotional tools, she learned from managing her, mental illness, that have helped her succeed in business and, entrepreneurship.
Entrepreneurship and mental illness
Myrna: I want to start off with something you say in your book “The Emotional Entrepreneur”, you said that our, emotions, are our guiding superpowers when it comes, entrepreneurship, and building a business of our dreams. How did your, emotions, guide you to become an, entrepreneur?
Scout: Very shortly after I was diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, my husband said those sentences that changed my life and I started infusing hope into my days. Which beautifully led me to faith through that process of showing up to support groups, writing gratitude lists etc. My gratitude list and my journal, every single morning reading every self-help book Barnes and Noble had to offer.
I was sitting with my friend at a coffee shop and we were looking through an Indie magazine (I love fashion magazines). I just looked at her and I asked do you want to start a magazine with me? She said yes, let's do it. We were going to print it at Kinko’s and pass it out to our friends for free. This was going to be a borderline arts and crafts project.
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Suddenly, something in my mind just flipped and immediately I went home. I got the Instagram handle, I searched for printers in the area and then set up five appointments with all the best printers in 50 mile vicinity. I went to see them and then they quoted me ten thousand dollars. I said to myself, ‘I have to find ten thousand dollars’.
Then, I started a kick starter campaign and fast forward, our second issue was picked up by national distributor and sold in newsstands across the country. I was 22 at the time.
The third issue had musician Halsey on the cover and I woke up to an email from Barnes and Noble asking if they could distribute my magazine as well.
So, in that three-issue process of, entrepreneurship, and running that magazine, I went from the girl that had to pull herself out of bed, to becoming an, entrepreneur, who was in charge of everything. It was like walking through quicksand. I couldn't deal with responsibility. I became the girl that over functioned. I became the girl that went the extra mile in such a short time.
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I found out that, entrepreneurship, was two things that I felt:
Entrepreneurship, has the same highs and lows as, bipolar disorder. My mind could really understand the emotional pattern behind it.
I was unable to show up for the responsibilities in my life, because I always had a psychiatrist note that could excuse me. I didn't have to go to friend's birthday party because I had a, mental illness. All my friends would understand or try to understand etc.
I really used my, mental illness, as a, crutch, to avoid responsibility and avoid showing up in my life in the ways that I really needed to, but when it came to, entrepreneurship, there was no note a psychiatrist could write out because I couldn't tap out of it .
If I tapped out, the whole thing would fall apart, so it was almost this contradictory paradox. I had to have all the responsibility on my shoulders in order for me to show up, I had to be completely present in every aspect. So, I found in the beginning of, entrepreneurship, that I showed up because I had the freedom to create what I wanted to create and I couldn't call in sick, that didn't work anymore.
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The entrepreneurship path leads to happiness
Myrna: I also believe that, happiness, is working towards a goal and there is no better goal than when you're working for yourself and you're trying to grow your business as an, entrepreneur. I also like your confession that you were using the doctor's notes as a cop-out in life.
A lot of people do that, they lead with their illnesses. It doesn't even have to be, mental illness, it could be a physical illness and they lead with that. Oh! I can't do this because of this, mental illness, it's a cop-out because we know being in the inspirational space, that people overcome challenges all the time.
They defy odds and do amazing things with no hands and no legs.
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Scout: I think it's important. I don't know if it's touched upon enough and it's something I say that can ruffle feathers or maybe trigger some people. I was addicted to my, depression. My, depression, my anxiety and my, mental illness, while it kept me in such distress and pain and chaos and crying fits and, anxiety attacks.
It kept me in my comfort zone, it kept me in the predictable, it kept me in what my body was used to. So, in many ways, it held me back from my healing because it said “no, that freedom out there, that's unknown – (we don't know what's going to happen over there).
Let's just stay in the pain so we can predict what's happening, we know how this is going to go. It prevented me and allowed me not go through my formative early 20s not assuming responsibility for my emotional state.
So my, mental illness, was very real and tangible, and loves to visit me at times when I would prefer it not to.
There was a lot of moments and I think most of my suffering came from the fact that I allowed myself to play the victim. I blamed the cards that I was dealt on my despair and suffering. The minute I realized and took responsibility and accepted that these were the cards that I was dealt, I started to use my emotional landscape as my superpower.
Today, ten years after being diagnosed with, bipolar disorder, and 16 years after having my first depressive episode, I feel wildly safe in my, emotions.
I think they are my biggest teachers, mentors and guides. They have helped me with, entrepreneurship. They are the reasons I am successful with Scott's Agency. I also started recognizing that when I got into, entrepreneurship, this game was a, personal development, game. It wasn't a play, it wasn't a market strategy (those are all parts of it) but at the end of the day, successful, entrepreneurs, are successful because of their emotional strength and their, mindset.
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I saw that so many women who had the resources, the education, the access to funds, are not getting into the game of their dreams because of self-doubt, because of fear and anxiety. That's when I woke up. My, bipolar disorder, primed me to walk through emotional hell, to gather the strength and the tools that I could then apply to living out my purpose (which is running Scouts Agency, writing books etc).
So, once I realized that it was the emotional landscape that was holding us all back from success, that's when the light bulb went off in my brain.
Myrna: Yes, it's true our, emotions, dictate the quality of our lives which is basically why I named this show “Transform your Mind to transform your life” because if you believe that you can, you can. And if you have this, crutch, that says you were born poor or you were born black or you were born with a, mental illness, or you were born with whatever, crutch, that you want to tell yourself, that prevents you from moving forward, and your life is not going to be transformed.
Scout: Everyone can find a, crutch, no matter who they are, no matter if their life is technically great on paper or technically really unfortunate circumstances, we can all easily rely on a, crutch.
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Entrepreneurship and the emotional ride of uncertainty
Myrna: How can, entrepreneurs, handle the emotional rollercoaster and what kind of, mindset shifts, that they need in order to become a successful, entrepreneur? You talked about your purpose and the fact that your, bipolar disorder, with your highs and lows allowed you to have the emotional strength to become an, entrepreneur.
Let's talk about the, entrepreneur, that is doing everything. What kind of advice would you give to that, entrepreneur, (female) let's say that wants to start a magazine or a hair salon or something and has to deal with all the aspects of, entrepreneurship, and the uncertainty?
Scout: First cultivate the belief that you're safe in your, emotions, and then unconditionally accept that uncomfortable, emotions, are highly part of this game and that you will survive them.
That you are safe in your, emotions, and that you can reduce the suffering above the pain. What I mean by that is if you can limit the, anxiety, about the, anxiety, or the sadness about the, depression, we can work with the root cause. Uncomfortable, emotions, and really understand what it's trying to tell us, that makes you an, entrepreneur.
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So, before you jump into the game, understand that you're going to be juggling all the hats.
You're going to be the customer service expert,
The graphic designer,
You're going to be the social media manager
The sales manager.
The website designer
All these roles that you have to figure out. On top of that you're going to have to walk through the uncomfortable discomfort that comes with that responsibility. So, know and accept that's part of the game.
It's really suiting up and really pulling in from your personal power and strength. It's not expecting that, entrepreneurship, is going to be easy, fun and glamorous. That you're always in alignment, you're flowing with creative ideas and your courses are selling out with six figure launches automatically etc. The fires will come more often than the successes.
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Myrna: As a Lifecoach, I understand what you're trying to say, but it's a very hard pill to swallow, because people go into, entrepreneurship, with the dream of riches and wealth and they don't necessarily go into it thinking of the fires. They understand it's hard work, but it’s very hard to smile and say I'm going to walk through the fire. Tony Robbins, make you do the fire walk and I'm pretty sure that's what it's setting you up for that you can walk through the fire and not get burnt.
I follow Dwayne Dwyer and he talks about, living from the end. So let's say that you become an, entrepreneur, for a certain end purpose or end game. When you're walking through the fire, if you can see that end then it will give you the strength in order to not chuck it in and to move forward.
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Entrepreneurs need to prioritize their mental health
You said that every, entrepreneur, should prioritize their, mental health, but not every, entrepreneur, is going to have, depression, or, bipolar disorder. However, mental health, covers a gamut of things. So what's your advice on that?
Scout: When I wrote the ‘Emotional Entrepreneur’, it was really not for the mentally ill. I think the beauty of the conversation about, mental illness, that it is coming to the forefront in the last few years. When I was diagnosed 10 years ago, no one is talking about, mental illness. Now the conversation is beautifully being opened. In the conversation about, mental illness, being open, the conversation about everyone's daily, mental health, is being opened and that's really the people I want to talk to.
All of my messages are not for those who struggle with, mental illness, it's for those who have, mental health, which is all of us. I think, for too long we've been told that if we don't have a, mental illness, then there’s nothing we get to prioritize. When our experience here on earth is based on how we relate to our, emotions, and many times we act in spite of our, emotions, when our, higher self, knows better or our, higher self, would have had a different plan for us.
Mental health is not only for people diagnosed with mental illness
So, if you're an, entrepreneur, and you are listening and you're like; ‘well, I'm going to go through fires, I'm going to go through ups and downs, I’m going to have to figure out whatever messed up our product or makes a client unhappy. Now, I got to figure out how to make payroll and all of those things you might as well emotionally feel safe during that process because your business is going to soar if you are emotionally sound and strong within.
Myrna: I'm glad you're saying that, mental health, is not necessary for people that have been diagnosed with, mental illness, but it's very important to keep your, mental health, strong.
One of the things that I love about your bio is that you talk about your prescription medication for the people that have been diagnosed with, mental illness. Can you share your journey?
Scout: This month celebrates one year of being, psychiatry medication, free and I don't say that to promote the stigma or to promote anyone to go off their medication. I simply say because, psychiatry medication, got me to a point where I was able to go off them and then flourish in my life. Though, there were a lot of dark moments with me and my trial and error for medication.
If anyone is listening to this, and he's considering, psychiatry medication, for a, mental illness, diagnosis or, mental health, diagnosis, and he’s feeling ashamed around that, I really invite you to end that shame and that stigma. There are times in our lives where we need to take things to physically and mentally treat our illnesses, our bodies, our spirits and souls etc. I never felt shame around taking the, psychiatric medication.
I really invite you to not passively wait for, psychiatry medication, to come save your mental state, but to really recognize that it's just a little boost and the rest you really have to show up for. The idea that, psychiatry medication, is going to heal you completely, for me was very helpful because I wasn't just passively playing the victim and waiting for something else to take over me and heal me. Medication really does a very small percentage of your healing for you.
Psychiatry medication is just the launching pad to healing
Psychiatry medication, can provide that launching pad, but really get ready for yourself to show up for you. I would say to really be your own advocate in the psychiatry office, ask about the symptoms, ask about what's coming off the medication, ask about the withdrawals, do I have to ease off for two months?
I say this because I was put on a, psychiatry medication, where I was not given the correct information about the withdrawals and it was a really traumatic experience for me. So, it’s really good to ask about the side effects.
The Emotional Entrepreneur
Myrna: Can you tell us about your book “The Emotional Entrepreneur”? You said it was not written for people that have been diagnosed specifically with, mental illness, but to help people prioritize, mental health. I like that play on words. What do you want the readers to walk away after reading your book?
Scout: The Emotional Entrepreneur is really the emotional guidebook for, entrepreneurship. If you are someone who wants to start an agency, a podcast, a product based business, a life coaching, career etc; you might be purchasing books on how to manage clients. You might even be purchasing books on how to hit six figures, you might be purchasing books on how to close more sales, deals, how to brand your website etc, this book is the emotional part of all of that. This is going to be your guidebook towards navigating fear, combating impostor syndrome and enjoying yourself along the way.
By celebrating small wins and believing in yourself, it's going to help you reframe your relationship to your, anxiety, as you get started. It's going to make you understand that, entrepreneurship, and starting your own business is the biggest personal development game, and you get to be emotionally supported in that.
Myrna: How can readers connect with you on social media or get a copy of your book?
Scout: You can follow me on Instagram ‘@scoutsobel’, that's the best place to connect with me. In my bio, there are links to Scout's Agency, my podcast and you can buy the book there. You can as well get the book on Amazon when you search for “The Emotional Entrepreneur by Scott Sobel”.
Myrna: One of my biggest takeaways about, depression, was reading the book; “The Work” by Byron Katie. I mean I have never actually heard of a, depression, like she went through. She said that she was so depressed that she had to put herself in a halfway house, and she laid on the floor and couldn't get up and couldn't move until one day she decided to change her inner dialogue and change her mindset.
Thank you guys all supporting the Transform Your Mind podcast, please leave us a review on iTunes if you found this content inspirational.
Rob Kenner, New York Times best-selling author of the Marathon Don't Stop: The Life and Times of Nipsey Hussle shares the principles that, Nipsey Hussle, advocated in his music and in his daily life and work. Nipsey's music on self-empowerment, economic independence, owning your own intellectual property, owning real estate investments, financial literacy and also just supporting people who support you.
Rob – The reason that I wrote the book and called it The Marathon Don't Stop is because I believe that, Nipsy Hussle, is one of the most important and misunderstood artists in the history of, hip-hop.
Download and listen to the full interview here:
Introduction to Nipsey Hussle
Rob is going to share the life of the Man, Nipsey Hussle, not just the artist. Nipsey Hussle, was more than a rapper, this young man was instrumental in a lot of things: building up his community and giving back among other things. Rob is going to expand on our knowledge of both the, hip-hop, artist and, Nipsey Hussle, life and legacy.
I must confess that I did not know of, Nipsey Hussle, until he was murdered and the whole world was talking about him. My generation is not necessarily a rap or a, hip-hop, kind of generation, my generation is the R&B soul generation. Rob on the other hand is intimately connected with, hip-hop, and its culture.
Book: The Marathon Don't Stop
Bio of Rob Kenner New York Times Best Selling Author
Rob Kenner is one of the most prolific and influential voices in, hip hop, publishing. A founding editor of Vibe, Kenner joined the start-up team of Quincy Jones’ groundbreaking, hip hop, monthly in 1992. During a nineteen-year run at Vibe, he edited and wrote cover and feature stories on iconic cultural figures ranging from Tupac Shakur to Barack Obama as well as writing the acclaimed column Boomshots.
Kenner’s writing has appeared in Complex, Genius, Mass Appeal, Pigeons & Planes, Ego Trip, Poetry magazine, TheNew York Times, and Billboard. He’s also produced and directed documentary shorts on the likes of De La Soul, Nas, and Post Malone. As an editor at Vibe Books, Kenner worked on the New York Times bestseller Tupac Shakur and contributed to The Vibe History of Hip Hop. He went on to co-author VX: 10 Years of Vibe Photography and produced the book Unbelievable, a biography of The Notorious B.I.G. by Cheo Hodari Coker which was optioned for the motion picture Notorious. His latest book is a New York Times Best seller “The Marathon Don't Stop: The Life and Times of Nipsey Hussle.
Myrna – I was reading your press releases, I understand that you met, Nipsey Hussle, about 10 years ago at, Vibe. What impressed you most about the man back then?
Nipsey Hustle Hip Hop Music
Rob – Nipsey Hussle, had just released one of his first major mixtapes a project called Bullets Ain't Got No Name and he was very excited to come up to the office of, vibe magazine, and presented it to the staff. I learned later in the process of researching my book The Marathon Don't Stop, he had been submitting his demo and photo to the magazine for some time hoping to be featured in our “next section”, which is a platform for new artists. People like Jay-z and Biggie and Mary J Blige got their first break at, Vibe, by being featured in the “next section” at, Vibe.
Nipsey's goal was be featured in that section but, honestly where he was in his career at that moment he was not really on our radar yet. He was an unsigned artist so, and he was first sending those demos in, but like every goal he ever set for himself in life. He set a very high goal and although he did not achieve his goal right away he persisted. Nipsey Hussle, just kept at it and did not give up and by God he made it into the office of, Vibe, by 2009 and presented his mixtape to the Staff.
I was impressed by his charisma, his energy, his personal magnetism. I remember the man who walked into the conference room that day. His braids immaculately done and his outfit on point, his gold chain was shining, and he was very proud to be presenting his music. When he pressed play, it was powerful stuff.
We had worked on the first cover story for Snoop Dogg back in 1993 and so I personally had a strong sense of déjà vu. Nipsey Hussle, was coming from Los Angeles and giving that really hard West Coast sound. One of the tracks on the tape he was rapping over a famous Dr Dre beat the song Gin and Juice. You have to come correct if you are going to record to that beat. It was very impressive to me.
Vibe Magazine featured New Hip Hop Artists in their Next Section
After he played all of his music, I took him aside and I said, “keep doing what you're doing” In fact he did get his one-page write-up at, Vibe, shortly before the magazine folded or seized print publication. Vibe, did transition to a digital publisher online magazine. Over time everything he did was special, he was just doing things differently.
He was changing the game in terms of his business strategy and as I would learn later his commitment to his community and to all the people that were helping him build his movement.
So, that was that was the first impression and it stuck with me.
Myrna – I was very impressed motivate and hustle official video. Loved the music, it had close to 63 million views. Hip hop has a large audience.
Can you tell us why you wrote the book “The Marathon Don’t Stop?” I know that a couple of Nipsey’s mix tapes were called, Marathon. What does that really mean and why did you choose it as a title of your book?
The Marathon Continues
Rob – Marathon, and, The Marathon Continues, is a kind of motto for his fans especially after his tragic passing. Kind of a rallying cry to make sure that all of the things that, Nipsey Hussle, stands for to continue. All of the principles that he advocated in his music and in his interviews and in his daily life and his work which have to do with self-empowerment, economic independence, owning your own intellectual property, owning real estate investments, financial literacy and also just supporting people who support you.
The reason that I wrote the book and called it The Marathon Don't Stop is because I believe that, Nipsy Hussle, is one of the most important and misunderstood artists in the history of, hip-hop.
As you mentioned he was a businessman, entrepreneur, leader, and an activist. He really identified strongly with civil rights leaders.
In the latest song which was released after his passing is a track called What It Feels Like featuring Jay-z and, Nipsy Hussle, on the same track. This track was used for soundtrack to the film Judas and the Black Messiah. Nipsy often referred to himself as young, Malcolm X.
He wore a, Malcolm X, pendant which his brother had made custom for himself and then let Nipsey keep when he was going away to prison for some time.
I think he saw himself as much more than an entertainer, he was someone committed to the upliftment and full respect of his community. I think that is one of the reasons why this book was so important. You are not the only person who's told me that you were unaware of what Nipsey was doing until you tuned into his Staples Center memorial service where 20,000 thousand people were all on their feet mourning him and celebrating his life.
President Obama wrote him a letter of tribute for that ceremony. Stevie Wonder sang at the funeral, Snoop Dogg eulogized him and of course his beloved Lauren London delivered a very moving tribute.
He had a family-owned business which was called All Money and No Money.
He and his brother also had a successful clothing store called the, Marathon, clothing which they built right in the same shopping plaza where he used to sell his mixtapes hand-to-hand right there on Slauson and Crenshaw.
He always talks about that intersection in his music.
Myrna – Yes, I noticed he's got a title called Crenshaw.
Nipsey Hussle The Marathon Continues
Rob – That was a groundbreaking mixtape The Crankshaft Project, I would say for the rap industry that was the moment that if you were not paying attention to, Nipsey Hussle, everybody woke up at that moment because he had the ambitious idea of selling his mixtape for a hundred dollars.
The Crenshaw tape by that point he had put out a few free mixtapes and built up quite a loyal fan base, the Crenshaw actually came after the, Marathon, tape and, marathon continues, so those tapes expressed his vision of the, marathon, which was a long-term view. Viewing life as a, Marathon, you don't give up just because you're behind in the first lap. The, marathon, is not a team sport, other people can be cheering for you, you can practice together; but nobody else can run your race.
Nipsey, understood that and he used that concept of the, marathon, to um encourage himself when he was down, when there were setbacks in his path. There were quite a few which you can get into in the book in detail; but he withstood tremendous pressure from a neighborhood that was extremely volatile. There was a very hostile relationship between the police and the members of the community. There was a strong gang culture which, Nipsey Hussle, eventually became involved in. His life was filled with challenges, he was someone that had unlimited potential, but huge obstacles, seemingly unsurmountable obstacles.
People were paying attention to his work and what he stood for and the principles that he lived by. That is why the book is called The Marathon Don't Stop, because Nipsy Hussle’s movement has not stopped. He has been a steady presence in all the conversations about race in America. His face has been on murals all around the world, his music was streamed millions of times on election day 2020.
He had a very important song called FBT, I’m not sure if you listen to that one; but the initials are a rebuke of president Donald Trump.
Hip-hop, I believe helped to mobilize the vote which brought President Obama into office, but after eight years of Obama, Donald Trump was presenting kind of a backlash and playing on racial divisions. I think, Nipsey Hussle, deserves credit for recognizing the power of, hip-hop, to speak to the moment in terms of social and political issues.
Myrna – You also make a comparison between, Nipsey Hussle, and, Tupac Shakur, what are the similarities between these two, hip hop, artists?
Rob – I wasn't the first one to compare Nipsey to Tupac, he actually called himself the Tupac of his generation. The album Victory Lap which was his major label debut, has a line that states this. I did an in-depth interview with him I asked him about that line in the song, because that's a big statement.
I said you're calling yourself the Tupac of your generation, what do you mean by that?
He replied that to him, Tupac was a trojan horse for the streets. He had so much more going on inside of him than his thug life image would suggest. He was actually a very intelligent and sensitive person with a lot of different talents and qualities, that he didn't necessarily
The Marathon Don't Stop: The Life and Times of Nipsey Hussle
The focus of the book is about a triumph rather than a tragedy. I want to focus on the message and the movement and the, marathon, rather than this atrocity that took place.
Myrna – I want to talk about, hip-hop, because I had to do some research for this interview to understand what it really is. I know that you're intimately connected with, hip hop, and rapping is a little different from, hip-hop, but why has, hip-hop, become this lifestyle and culture of the young generation? It’s not even a race thing, because it covers all races.
Rob – We're actually coming up on the 50th anniversary of what is considered the birth of, hip-hop. Hip Hop, started in the Bronx. It was never about negative forces, but a way to escape the struggles of life in the Bronx. The Bronx was an urban wasteland and, hip-hop, grew and evolved into a multi-billion dollar industry.
It affects every aspect of pop culture from fashion to language to politics. Everything now is influenced by, hip-hop. Quincy Jones who founded, Vibe magazine, understood the bebop generation as the coolest thing that ever-hit music. He saw, hip-hop, artists in their earliest stages of the development of that culture and he recognized a kindred spirit there.
The Origin of Hip Hop
Hip Hop, has become multi-racial and multicultural, in the early days in the Bronx it's important to remember there were all kinds of kids involved. Puerto Rican, Dominican kids dancing, break dancing, painting graffiti. Hip hop, is a lifestyle it's not just rap music, which is one aspect of it the DJ and the MC.
There are multiple aspects to, hip hop, it's become the most powerful and popular form of entertainment in the world.
Conclusion
Myrna – Tell our listeners how they can get pick up a copy of your book The Marathon Don't Stop: The Life and Times of Nipsey Hussle. Also tell us about Vibe, I know it started off as a magazine, what do you guys do now?
Rob – Well, Vibe, was founded by Quincy Jones back in 1992. I joined the startup staff in 93, Quincy had a good idea that we should do this and so I ended up working at, Vibe, for 17 years. I was the only editor who started from the startup staff and stayed all the way until the very last day when you know the magazine had to be shut down.
Quincy had moved on and the ownership had changed hands, it's a long story, but the bank basically repossessed the investment. The website www.vibe.com is the digital version of, Vibe. It's a very important publication and became the definitive publication for, hip-hop, culture in terms of excellent photography and excellent journalism.
We had some of the most talented writers and photographers of this generation working at the Magazine. Vive.com has gone on because it needs to go on. It still holds up a standard of excellence in terms of discussing all the aspects of, hip-hop, culture and lifestyle.
How to Own the Sales Process from Prospect to Client. i.e How to meet a prospect and walk out with a client!
In this episode, Coach Myrna Young interviews Elizabeth Gifford Maffei. Elizabeth was a multi-million dollar sales producer as a Real Estate agent, she is now a health and spiritual advocate and business coach.
Show notes Sales Process
* What is a Challenge that entrepreneurs and business owners experience when trying to close a sale?
6 tips to close a sale quickly and effectively
Identify the decision-maker and start a conversation. …
Accurately qualify your prospects. …
Pitch your solution (not just the product)
Create a sense of urgency. …
Overcome their objections. …
Ask for the sale.
* What is the difference between making a sale and creating a loyal client?
* What is the first step in having a successful meeting with a prospect?
How to Prepare for a Sales Meeting As a Real Estate Agent
To be fully prepared for a successful customer meeting, you need to answer these questions:
Who are you meeting with?
Why are the two parties meeting?
What is the objective of the meeting?
When and where will it take place?
What is the agenda for the meeting (How)?
* How should you prepare before meeting with your prospect?
* How should a successful meeting be conducted?
Using Body Language during the Sales Process
How does the use of, body language, help, close a sale?
While it’s important to know what you should do in meetings and negotiations, knowing what you shouldn’t do is often just as important – and it begins with bad, body language.
The best sales managers know that while you may have a polished sales presentation, tasteful attire, and a product that practically sells itself, you can still miss out on, closing a sale, if your, body language, is out of sync with your words. While it’s true that first impressions make a lasting impact, cumulative, body language, is important. If you are in the habit of demonstrating any of the following, body language, in the, sales process, it could be enough to hurt your sales performance, turning a potential yes into definite no.
* What is the most important step that many business owners leave out?
* An example of a successful prospect meeting that resulted in a closed sale.
The four Stages of the Sale:
1: Qualify – Your, prospects, must have the money, the time, the need and the want to contract your services.
2: Build Rapport – People buy from people they like!
When you meet a, prospect, for the first time, it is important to find common ground. Look for similar interests or experiences and chat about them before getting into your, sales pitch.
3: Tell a story – Showcase how your product or service helped another client. It could also be a personal story of your journey to your current vocation.
4: Closing the Sale, – If you followed the first 3 stages then you don't even need to close, just ask them to sign!
If you get to the end and you get objections, then you missed the qualify or selling the benefits.
Success in life depends on your ability for, self leadership. You may say I am not a, leader, I am not a manager or a CEO true; but, self leadership, is more important than how many people you lead in your home or place of work.
Self leadership, is the answer to how do we develop ourselves to survive and thrive in a Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, and Ambiguous world.
Self leadership, is the Critical Success Factor for individual and organizational success.
Here are 5 Essential Disciplines for Self Leadership
Discipline #1 Accountability
You must learn to take full responsibility for everything on your watch. This means that the fish stinks from the head down! A great way to do this is with, self leadership, because those who follow you are watching your, leadership.
Discipline # 2 Focus
As a, Leader, you will wear many hats. Success comes from knowing where to focus your attention. Everything is important.
Acquiring the skill of discrimination allows the, leader, to discern what is most important and least important.
Discipline # 3 Organizational self leadership
Organizational, self leadership, is the skill through which chaos is turned into order.
Discipline # 4 Innovation
As a, leader, you will begin to consciously focus your attention and discriminate where the maximum leverage is.
You will recognize the need for continual improvement and for innovation in your processes.
Discipline # 5 Communication Skills
Communication skills, are evident in how well you communicate your passion, vision, and mission to your employees, customers and self.
Here are 3 types of Communication Skills
The three primary means of communication are verbal, nonverbal, and visual.
Verbal Communication. Verbal communication depends on words to deliver meaning.
Nonverbal Communication. Nonverbal communication occurs when meaning or messages are sent or received without the use of words like body language.
Daphne's talks to us about the keys to a successful mission driven life or business.
Since 90% of startup businesses fail, Daphne believes that the quality of life and business, leadership, is at the root of success or failure.
She believes that, leadership, is about using the most effective strategies to conquer obstacles while taking consistent steps to move forward when tackling your vision, whether that vision is within the workplace, as a leader of a business or, self leadership.
Show notes:
. Daphne explains what is true, self leadership.
. What sets successful startup businesses apart from those that fail.
. How a business coach helps clients.
. What does a thriving business look like.
. What are some of the biggest mistakes companies do with their sales and marketing efforts.
. What are some of the characteristics of successful leaders.
Here are 11 strategies for effective, self leadership, from Young Entrepreneur Council:
When managing my team, I use a tactic from Dale Carnegie: Think in terms of the other person's wants. The goal is to align a team member's natural talents and preferences with the company's goals. What do they want? What motivates them? What do they like to do? Then manage them to reinforce what they want and how they can achieve those things through their work.
As a Life Coach, I know that the secret to, personal growth, is to consciously plan for it. It doesn't just happen. We all know the acorn lives in the oak tree! But unlike the Oak tree, personal growth, is not pre-programmed into your DNA. You need to have a plan for, personal growth.
“You can't see the picture if you are the frame”~ Les Brown
Hire a, Life coach, invest in you!. A, Life coach, is able to Help you see the entire picture.
Think about it. When you were growing up, your pediatrician would have you stand by a growth chart and he was able to determine how healthy you were by your growth as it related to his growth chart.
In a similar way, you can determine your professional health by your, personal growth, chart.
Did you stop growing and learning when you left school? The secret to, personal growth, is that you have to plan to grow every day?
That management promotion you are asking God for will not come if you don’t proactively do the work to acquire the skills. That spouse or healthy relationship will not come unless you proactively work at becoming the best you. Your business will not grow unless you have a growth plan, commonly called a business plan.
Below is Starbucks proactive plans for, Personal Growth:
The People’s Republic Of Starbucks
Speaking last month at an investors' conference in Seattle, Belinda Wong, head of Starbucks in China, said the company was opening an outlet every day on average in the world’s second-largest economy.
“This year we have a higher ambition,” she told shareholders. “We will open on average one store every 18 hours.”
The company just opened its 1,500th outlet in the country, considered a milestone for the company that views China as a major source of growth this year. It wants 3,000 outlets by 2019, compared with its current 11,000 in the U.S.
Unlike in the U.S., Starbucks in China targets affluent cosmopolitan professionals and students, and puts stores near where they shop, study or work.
“Starbucks’ China and Asia-Pacific region is one of the new target areas for the company, where it intends to focus its near-term growth. Starbucks,” said a research note from Trefis.
The first and most important thing in, personal growth and development, is to figure out what projects you are dealing with. First, what is a project? My definition is anything that takes more than a few easy tasks to get done. Setting up that new sales software? That’s a project. Expanding your network? Yep, that’s a project, too. Growing your business? That’s a collection of projects!
Some of your, self improvement, projects will be pretty obvious, but others will lurk in the background unacknowledged. To unearth all of your projects, write down everything you’re currently working on and everything you want to be working on. Then, group that list around specific, personal growth, goals.
That action will likely lead you to your project list. You may have 10 to 20 (or even more) projects on this list, but to be effective, you’ll want to pick the two to five projects that are most important, and focus on those for the remaining tips.
2. Give your personal growth projects a start and end date.
You should know (or decide) when each, self improvement, project should start and end. This will allow you to sequence projects by prioritizing them based on when they need to start or be finished. Start and end dates will also allow you to plan around your own business cycles and prevent projects from going on for much longer than they should.
3. Make a one-page plan for Self Improvement
A little, personal growth and development, planning goes a long way to helping a project succeed. To create a one-page plan, jot down your answers or notes for each of the following questions:
• What problem will the project solve?
• What is the benefit to the organization?
• What kind of staff and budget do I need?
• What are the major milestones?
• What are the potential stumbling blocks?
• What risks does this project pose?
• What is my work, self improvement, plan (list of tasks or sub-items to be completed by when)?
• What are the specific metrics for success?
• How will you know the project is done?
Note: if you’re going to keep the plan to one page, your answers need to be relatively concise!
For any project that involves multiple team members, set up communication routines in advance. Will someone be reporting progress weekly? Monthly? Will there be a recurring call for all parties to check in? Who is responsible for checking on whether the project is meeting its milestones?
5. Know if and when to quit personal development
In the, personal development, space, it’s best to finish what you start, sometimes it’s necessary to pull the plug. If you have all of your projects laid out, with start and end dates and a clear one-page plan that includes milestones and communication guidelines, you should have all the information you need to know when to quit a project.
Certainly it’s not always easy to quit, especially if you’ve already committed a lot of time, energy and emotion. But if a, personal development, project is dragging on.
Here are some questions that can help you think through whether or not to abandon your, personal development, Goals:
• Is the goal of this, personal growth, project still important to my organization?
• What was the planned ROI for this project? What is the ROI now?
• What is my opportunity cost in working on this? Could I better achieve my goals by spending this time on other projects?
• What is the emotional toll of continuing with this project.
Finally, commit to Constant and Never Ending Improvement (CANI) that is, self improvement.
In my book “Out of the Snares” I share that as a Limousine Operator, I went to the National Limousine Association annual meeting in Las Vegas every year. Every year I would practice, personal growth and development, by learning from the best operators in the business on how to use technology, improve on services and expand on my products. That allowed me to have a 30% annual growth rate and win the Entrepreneur of the year award in 1998. My intention was to become the largest operator in the Greater Toronto area and have a fleet of over 100 limousines. The secret? A, personal growth, plan!.
“Reach for the moon, even if you miss, You will land among the Stars” ~ Les Brown
The Importance of Constant and Never-Ending Improvement required for, personal growth
• Sometimes when you’re prepared to step out and be different you’re going to cop some criticism
• Don’t wait until you’ve got everything 100% right before you get started. Get it 80% right and then continue to improve it as you go
• By being different – you will also be memorable!
• Have high targets to stretch you for, personal growth. They said man would never land on the moon…but he did. If you don’t aim high, you’ll never get where you want to be.
• Fear is what stops you from setting what people would say are ‘unrealistic goals’
• The famous Australian Cricket batsman, Sir Donald Bradman had this philosophy every time he came out to bat: I’m going to hit it for 6! If I don’t get a 6, then I may get a 4. If I don’t get a 4 then I’ll get either a 3 or a 2 or a 1. But at least I’ll get something!
• The average Real Estate Agent in earns $23,000 – $24,000. You can’t afford to be average!
• It’s not about selling…it’s about people. Be a people-helper because that is the key to your success in sales
• A Real Estate client’s lifetime value is $127,000. If you look after them and keep in contact with them. What’s the lifetime value of your clients?
• Provide a guarantee for your clients and this will give you the edge over your competition
• If you’re prepared to step out and take risks – and overcome your fears – you will become a leader in your industry
• Develop your daily rituals of success
• Exercise will help you keep your stress levels low and enable you to be more productive
• We spend too much time wasting our time – and not improving ourselves
• Shut up and listen! Really listen! If you can’t work out your client’s needs in the first 10 – 15 minutes, then you shouldn’t be in sales
• Honesty and Transparency are crucial to long term success
• Serve others and not yourself
Pick up your copy of “Out of the Snares” and understand the how having a, Life coach, can help you grow intentionally by helping you see the “Picture in the Frame” . Learn how to get motivated by your passion and natural abilities. “Out of the Snares” is the story of my vision to become a US citizen and my journey to leaving a Legacy for my children. The secret to my growth was I committed to constant and never ending improvement.
Positive change, is identifying the things that are most important in your life, and then start eliminating everything else. This is all about simplifying your life, so that you can focus on the things that matter most to you and prevents you from getting distracted.
Here are some tips on Positive Change from the book “Switch”
How to, change, things when, change, is hardby Chip Heath and Dan Heath
Here are the facts:
Change, is a process.
1: Positive Change, is usually a situation problem, and not a personal problem.
2: For anything to, change, someone must behave differently.
3: To, change, someone's behavior, you must, change, someone's situation.
4: For, positive change, to stick you must influence the person's heart and mind.
A Story on Positive Change
Arthur was an airborne paratrooper. Jumping out of airplanes killed his knees, his back, his legs. When he got out of the army he walked with a cane and couldn't do anything so he gained a lot of weight. He could not support his weight, so he couldn't do traditional exercise. His health rapidly declined. The doctor at the VA clinic told him to accept his faith, that he would never walk normal again.
One day while surfing the internet, he came across Diamond Dallas Page doing yoga. He said to himself, I could do this. So He bought the DVD! He figured he could use his arm to support his weight and get a cardio workout. Arthur was 297 lbs when he started doing yoga.
When he started his yoga exercises, he kept falling down and falling down, but he kept getting back up again and again!
Every day he got better and better in 10 months he had lost over 100 lbs and could not only walk without a cane but he could run!!
Change, is usually situational. Arthur had a situational problem.
Arthur taught himself to do yoga because he decided to take control of his life. He got his heart and mind in the game and changed the situation!
Change is a process.
To lead a process requires persistence. Arthur kept getting back up and trying again to do his exercises.
When a, positive change, starts, it builds on itself.
The better Arthur got at yoga, the more he was motivated to keep going.
Positive change, can snowball.
Change, rarely works unless it is motivated by feeling. Arthur wanted to feel better about himself so he made the hard choices.
That’s my tip of the week from coach Myrna.
How to change when change is hard.
There can be nothing harder than trying to loose 100 lbs when you can’t use your legs; but Arthur found a way and so can you.
Our guest today is coach Dan Willms and he is a, positive change, guru. This is his space.
Dan Willms is a Life & Business Coach, an MBA Professor, a facilitator for The Leadership Challenge, a writer and an International Speaker – he is also the creator of the Positive Change Workshop and facilitates his workshops in Portuguese, English & Spanish. He has facilitated more than 118 Positive Change Workshops. He loves helping people and organizations to achieve their fullest potential. He is the co-author of the book Strategic Leadership (Liderança Estratégica) and the author of the upcoming book “Positive Change – One life @ a time”.
Dan is also my partner, we do a video blog on YouTube every week called “You asked for it” where we answer questions sent in from our social media network. Like us on Facebook to become part of our community. Myrna Young Lifecoach and Dan Willms.
Using I am Affirmations for Positive change
I am affirmations, formulate, affirm, and perpetuate the stories you tell yourself. Stories about who you are, who you can be, and what you can do. I Am affirmations, are a powerful way to, program yourself, for, positive change.
If you want to make a, change, start where you are. Start with who you are. Support yourself right here, before you have all the answers. Do that and you’ll feel more supported in the process. And that can, change, well, everything.
I am a living, breathing example of the kind of world I want to live in.
I am a powerful force for good in the world.
I am on the right path. I am moving in the right direction.
I am worthy of all things wonderful.
I am being guided to what’s best for me and everyone else.
I am powerful enough to live in accordance with my own values, desire, and truths.
I am in the exact place I need to be to get to where I want to be.
I am intentionally promoting a life filled with joy.
I am a firm believer in my ideas.
Show notes Positive Change
Question 1. Tell us about your journey to becoming a Life coach and an ambassador for, positive change.
Question 2: What is The, Positive Change?
Question 3: Tell me about your happiness labs, how does it work?
Question 4: : What were your findings on these labs from your sample size of 400 people?
Question 5: So, based on your labs, what would you say is the secret to happiness?
Question 6: Why do you think is there so much unhappiness in the world?
Iowa farmer Ray Kinsella hears a voice in his corn field tell him, If you build it they will come. He interprets this message as an instruction to build a baseball field on his farm, upon which appear the ghosts of Shoeless Joe Jackson and the other seven Chicago White Sox players banned from the game for throwing the 1919 World Series. When the voices continue, Ray seeks out a reclusive author to help him understand the meaning of the messages and the purpose for his field.
These are just a few examples of men who dared to dream and build something that would serve others.
But this phrase does not only apply to baseball fields and technology.
Anything you build, they will come. If you build IT they will come, the IT can be anything you can think of.
Put another way
In my book “Out of the Snares” the voices in my head, my field was “my promised land”
The voices in my dreams kept telling me, if I built it they will come. My promised land, I would leave a Legacy for my children.
I have internalized this phrase. It has become my truth. I know without a shadow of doubt, that if I build it they will come. Anything I build, they will come.
As a Life coach and motivational speaker, I am building my business now. I built my radio show and podcast and now I have listeners around the world. I have built my brand on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. I blog several times per month. I have authored 3 books.
Here is a story to illustrate, that if you build it they will come. It is about the mother of a Downs Syndrome child who wanted to attend college. The College had to build a program for inclusion of special needs students. They built it, and the students came, proving, that, if you build it they will come.
Several years ago, a young woman attending a special needs graduate course there piped up at the end of class and asked her professor, “What is this college doing for inclusion?” The professor thought a moment and then turned it into a homework assignment (“The other students hated me,” she laughed.): Design and write out what you think a college program for special needs should look like. If ,Field of Dreams, taught us anything, If you build it they will come.
The students designed what became the University Participant (UP) Program, a fully inclusive 2-year program–full residence, dorms, classes, work, support, communication, goals, accountability–and soon found one student with special needs who wanted to come. “We were building the airplane as we were flying it,” Dr. Kelly Kelley remembers. “So you built it,” I asked, “but how did you fund it?” “Passion,” she quickly answered. Speaking of passion, let me explain how I landed in North Carolina last week. Right before Nella’s birthday this year, I received an e-mail from Liz, another mom of a little girl with Down syndrome.
I had written a post expressing interest in organizations helping adults with Down syndrome, specifically in relation to post-secondary educational opportunities. Liz responded, telling me about Ruby’s Rainbow, the organization she and her husband had just started in 2011, providing scholarships for people with Down syndrome to attend college. In four years, Ruby’s Rainbow has already helped fund 42 people’s college dreams. The thing is, a lot of people don’t realize that “people with Down syndrome attending college” is even a phrase. And how can we raise money for it if people don’t know it exists? I wanted to help bring attention to the incredible work Liz and Ruby’s Rainbow is doing, but I was also curious–what does this even look like? One phone call with Liz, and we were scheming.
Let’s go to college. Let’s go visit two Ruby’s Rainbow scholarship recipients and let them tell the story. Let’s peek into the window of possibilities for our own girls. Let’s see what can happen when one person begins with a question: “What are we doing to help? “ Thanks to an incredibly accommodating college that quickly set up a full day’s agenda to give us a thorough day-in-the-life experience, and two individuals who were eager to share their story with us, we were on our way early Wednesday morning last week to make the two-hour drive from our hotel to Cullowhee, North Carolina. Our first stop: The Office of Residential Living where Zach gets paid to work 10 hours a week as an office assistant to supplement his college experience. A handsome young man, sharply dressed, stepped away from his computer to greet us when we arrived. He shook our hands and introduced himself, answered our questions about what he does and paused to answer the phone when it rang or tend to the front desk when his office mate asked for help.
Now some of you know that sometimes, okay most times, especially for startup companies “You build it, they do Not come.”
Sometimes you have to go get the clients instead of waiting for them to come.
Here is an excerpt that displays If you build it they will come
I am not sure my version of this quote would have worked for Kevin Costner and the movie, Field of Dreams, but it would certainly have saved countless entrepreneurs from disappointment and defeat.
There’s no shortage of savvy startups that will never get off the ground or designer duds that won’t grace the catwalk. Just because a product is out there doesn’t guarantee that consumers will come. Great ideas without equally great promotion are as good as non-existent.
It’s just like the age old question?
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?
The same can be said for great ideas and products. If consumers never discover or buy them, are they still great? I have fallen victim to the false pretense that if I only built something, consumers would come right over and consume it. But my first failed business taught me otherwise.
At the ripe old age of 21, I managed to convince two successful entrepreneurs — after multiple pitch meetings and business plan revisions — to invest in my media company, despite the fact that I knew nearly nothing about media.
What I wanted was to create the leading online men’s lifestyle magazine, complete with highlights on where to eat, what to wear, where to travel — and I called it Debonair. The idea was much more novel in the early 2000’s before the flood of publications now devoted to gents — and the idea was good (Thrills and Urban Daddy launched similarly oriented sites shortly after to much success).
They wrote me a check for $100,000 and just like that I was in business. But contrary to my mistaken notion, it wasn’t as simple as having the seed money, building the site and just watching everything fall into place. I believed that, if you build it they will come. I wasn’t popping champagne and toasting with the big boys like I thought I’d be. Not even close. The next two years were trying times, and I was swimming in a sea of startups that knew more than I did.
I poured every dollar I had into a fancy website with what I believed were all the right bells and whistles and pricey photography that had made glossy magazines so sought after and I figured that was all it would take. When the traffic didn’t come, I blamed it on the site design, the logo, the font, the layout, the photos. I became victim to the “better is the enemy of best” syndrome, redoing the same thing over and over and over again trying to perfect it for the public. By the time I bypassed the fluff changes and figured out search engine optimization, pay-per-click, buying lists and marketing — it was too late.
I lost every last cent of my seed money, and Debonair flopped.
If you build it they will come so become a visionary
Five years later, I tried again. This time with Sourcing Journal, a trade publication.
Unless your jeans have three legs, it isn’t a new idea. If you want to build a brand, build it. Forget the wealthy heirs to family businesses or those who get large venture capital funding. If that isn’t you, like it wasn’t me, you will have to be a doer and figure it out. Go get some orders, no matter what product you have. Borrow money for purchase order financing to produce the product and pay the too-high rates if need be. Be scrappy, be an entrepreneur, make it happen.
Focus on distribution. Technology has changed the game, so use it to help get the word out there, build hype and sell, sell, sell. Do not wait for the people to come because you could be waiting a long time. Knock down the proverbial door and keep going. And when you get that order from Barneys, or Macy’s or Bed Bath and Beyond, call me. I’d be happy to make that product for you.
Not because you built it, but because you got it built it, and they did not come. hem to come proving that, if you build it they will come.
Here Are Five Reasons That, If You Build It They Will Come.
1. Make sure that there is a need for what you are building. If you are a startup company. Do your research, know the demographics of your target market.
2. Be prepared to keep at it until you win. If something does not work, change your approach. If that does not work, change it again. Keep changing your approach until you win. There is a winning solution and that is, lucid dreaming! Most people give up when success is just around the corner. Don't let fear sidetrack you.
3. You must see the vision. If you don’t see it, you can never be positive that you will win. It will be like a pie in the sky. Something hoped for, but unattainable.
4. You must have a burning desire to win. You live the phrase “failure is not an option.” The desire must consume you. There is no better example of this than the Sylvester Stallone story. Sylvester refused $100,000 for his script “Rocky” when he had no money to eat. He then sold his dog for $50.00 to buy food. His burning desire was to star in his screen play. He built it and they came!
5. Keep hitting the Anvil. Do something every day that brings you closer to your “field of dreams.”
Women are you invisible in the boardroom and have no say? Do men listen when you speak? If the answer is no, then find out how to get, a seat at the table.
How did you come to become passionate about, diversity and inclusion, for, women of color?
How to Get a Seat at The Table
I first really started thinking about, a seat at the table, when I was a very young reporter in Charleston, South Carolina. I was the only female reporter at the time within this 600 person company. And what I was struck by is that there were so many decisions that were being made that we would complain about; but none of us had, a seat at the table, to help make those decisions.
I realized that if I didn't have a place in the room that I was both invisible and silent; so it didn't matter how much I complained or how much I didn't like what was going on or simply just didn't understand it because I was not part of the discussion; I needed, a seat at the table.
So that's where my passion for, diversity and inclusion, was born.
CNN wrote a column on getting, a seat at the table, for women. They were discussing congresswoman Harris, basically what they're saying was that women are invisible and they have no say. When they speak no one listens. So I understand what you are saying.
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I stayed in that company as a reporter without, a seat at the table, about 12 years. It took me that long to get that awakening. Sometimes we think that we are fortunate to have a job so we don't want to stir the pot. I just increasingly became more and more of a little rebel challenging the status quo. Eventually I left and ventured out to write my first book. I was scared to death. Because here I am I'm going to write a book, I'm going to leave my job. I took a leave of absence to write the book; but it was really a step of faith and in writing the book and doing the research.
I became energized when I interviewed older relatives, my mother and great-aunt who were already in their 80s and 90s at the time. I became energized by their tenacity as, Black women. I knew that we had a lot of strong men in my family, but my eyes are really flew open at the strength of the, black women, and how they held businesses up, they held a family up and the men of the family up, and brought us all together.
I stumbled into the nonprofit arena by my volunteer work. I was volunteering and working on writing the book and one thing led to another. I got to a small job at an organization that was run by a, black woman, who became my mentor. She took me under her wing and even though I was just volunteering she taught me so much about strength and tenacity and making your voice count.
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Her company was called Family Assistance Management Services
And she was the first black female insurance broker in SC. She had been a full time teacher before she built quite a nest egg with her husband. They owned several pieces of property in Charleston SC. She then became a broker and started several businesses, an insurance company, a computer training clinic all kinds of other businesses, because she had a passion for helping people.
You got your feet wet on the nonprofit arena and but it sounds like you have, a seat at the table, at Goodwill Industries. Why you write the book, “A Seat at the Table or a part of the meal?”
I was born in September 1964 a month after the discrimination Act, and my parents had not long moved to Charleston, SC. All of my siblings, I have one brother and two sisters, they had all been born at home in the country by a midwife so since it was now illegal for place public places to discriminate my father thought, well I will take my wife to this nice Hospital for my fourth child to be born. So my mother was in labor he rushes her down to this hospital the Medical University of South Carolina and by this time she'd begun to hemorrhage as I was a breech baby.
It was pouring down rain and he got my mom into the emergency area into the lobby and he started screaming for the doctors to come and help they turned looked at them and turned their backs right away. All the white doctors and nurses ignored them, so he ran up to them and screamed my wife is bleeding you got to help her and someone told him to just sit down we'll get to you.
So he scooped her up, put her in a wheelchair and ran with her down the street to the black Hospital. McLennan banks Hospital in the pouring rain with my mom gripping for life on that wheelchair. He pushed her up into the emergency area and as soon as they saw that she was drenched in blood they rushed her into the emergency room and delivered me. The doctor who delivered me was a, woman of color, from South Africa and he named me Kimberly after the Kimberly diamond mines.
Black Women are born to be at the table
It sounds like you were born in to do this work!
I was tried of being the only, Black woman, in the room. I felt we as, Black women, have to do something to get , a seat at the table. If anyone was going to wave that flag of, diversity and inclusion, equity and of, diversity, it should be Goodwill Industries. So it really began then. We started a task force with a group of CEOs and started to study, diversity and inclusion, and equity programs with fortune 500 companies and fortune 100 companies and other nonprofit organizations. We studied who was doing it well, what were they looking at, what were the metrics and how do you build that diverse pipeline. We came up an implementation plan.
We were really intentional about attracting, maintaining and keeping a, diversity, workforce. Whether it is individuals who are Hispanic or individuals who African-American or LGTBQ or disabled. We recognize that all of that build a table of, diversity.
The first time that I heard the phrase, a seat at the table, was from one of my coaching clients and I've heard it several times since. I heard Gabrielle Union say it that she's just gonna make her own table because you know the black actresses in Hollywood are still working to, get a seat at the table. They go through the same discrimination with, diversity and inclusion. It's not just in Corporate America or in the board rooms.
Women of Color getting a seat at the table
Kimberly you have, a seat at the table, what advice would you give to women who are hitting the glass ceiling and get, no seat at the table.
African-American women unfortunately have been absent from the room! We have not even been invited into the room much less have, a seat at the table, for quite some time. Women in general have been hitting the glass ceiling for quite a long time. I've heard that men are hired based on what their hiring manager or that supervisor thinks that they can do while women are hired or promoted based on performance. it is that way because the majority of the, seats at the table, are already held by men. Predominantly white males and they look for men who look like act like they came from where they come from.
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Black women in order to get, a seat at the table, have to do 3 things:
They have to network. It’s all about relationships. Else there is, no seat at the table. Everything that you do is about relationships and it's about networking. If you didn't grow up playing golf, learn. Go around places and do things that make you feel uncomfortable. But you must be part of the conversation. Go to the theater, go to the Opera, you could serve as an usher and get free tickets.
Get a mentor – All women should have a mentor.
Get a Sponsor – a sponsor and a mentor are two different people. A mentor is someone that you can talk to about your fears and your aspirations. A mentor can give you sound advice and can talk you through some of the issues that you're having and help you create a plan a plan of attack.
A sponsor on the other hand is going to be that person who's going to make sure that you're invited to that meeting. They're going to take you under their wing. They're going to make sure that there's a place for you in the conversation and that there is, diversity and inclusion, that you are a part of the discussion. Sponsors are usually white males.
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